1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: advice on a relationship, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: Submit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: click Submit Strawberry Letters. Shirley Strawberry is out today. Steve 5 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: will read the letter and I respond, let's get to it. 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: Let hell, let's go. I don't tell you that I'm tied. 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: Man don't don't want That's for sure why I don't 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: care for his he Hey hey, hey, old as just 9 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,959 Speaker 1: ain't got nothing to do with you, Shirley Man. Now 10 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: he didn't want to. Now you do one. Ran Shirley off. 11 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: Now you're trying to act like she's still here by 12 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: giving her her intro. I don't want your damn intro 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: and you can't run me off? Who what? Who hate you? Wow? 14 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: I mean who hates it intro? Who hates the intro? 15 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: If you've ever been introduced like this, ladies and gentlemen, 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: a man who needs no introduction, and until you've had 17 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: that happened to you, you need an introduction. That's why 18 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: I pass on mine. Thank you very much. Let's get 19 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: on with this. That a subject I don't want to 20 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: be quarantine with him, just like I don't want to 21 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: be on the radio with them too. I don't want 22 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: to be quarantined with him. This Stephen Sherley, I'm a 23 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: thirty eight year old single mother of a nine year 24 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: old son. I love my son with all my heart, 25 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: and I've done the best I can to discipline him 26 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: and instill great morals and values in him. But he 27 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: is just terrible. His behavior is the worst of the worst, 28 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: and he may not make it through this quarantine with me. 29 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: Since he started elementary school, his teachers have said that 30 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: he has a major attitude problem, and as a very 31 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: selfish child, he makes up excuses for his bad behavior. 32 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: Always says his teachers are picking on him. I've observed 33 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: him without him knowing it, and he is bad as 34 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: heck in class. I have had him tested for behavioral 35 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: disorders and nothing's clinically wrong with him. Now at school 36 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: is shut down and he's home with me. I can't 37 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: deal with his disrespectful mouth and him ignoring what I 38 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: tell him to do. I had to go to the 39 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: post office on Monday, and he passed by McDonald's and 40 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: he told me he wanted to burger. I told him. 41 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: We had food at the house and he yelled so 42 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: loud at me. Almost had a heart attack, and he 43 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: threw a balled up napkin at me. I was trying 44 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: to gain my composure, and he grabbed a standing wheel 45 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: and we almost ran off the road. So now he's 46 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: endangering my life and his. He does not respond to 47 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: me taking his PlayStation or taking his TV out of 48 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: his room. He needs help with anger management and stiff punishment. 49 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,959 Speaker 1: Whatever I'm doing is not working. The other night I 50 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: found him outside on the backdeck at eleven pm. He 51 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: said he needed some ap. I can't watch him twenty 52 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: four seven and I don't think I'll make it through 53 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: the quarantine living with this little devil. I don't have 54 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: any relatives that will take him in. I need some 55 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: tips to discipline. You. Can you please help me out? Man? Please? 56 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: Who wild? Steve Well, I'm gonna quickly give my answer 57 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: because I know you can handle this one. You are 58 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: a thirty eight year old single mom of a nine 59 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: year old who needs discipline. The teacher has said your 60 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: son has a bad attitude, he's selfish. You've observed his 61 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: behavior at school. Now you're at home with him. Quarantine 62 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: and you know you've had him tested for behavioral disorders 63 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: and nothing is clinically wrong with him. He is disrespectful. 64 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: He threw a napkin at you because you wouldn't stop 65 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: at McDonald's. He grabbed the steering wheel while you're driving. 66 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: You've punished him, no video games, you said, PlayStation. He 67 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: left the house still, going the back porch to get 68 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: some air without your permission. You say, you feel like 69 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: you were just quarantine with this little devil. Where is 70 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: his father now? This son of yours? He needs his 71 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: father or a serious father figure in his life now. 72 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 1: I would also want to suggest maybe some serious activities 73 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: like football, basketball, But I know it's tough right now 74 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: with the quarantine going on. You're stuck. You're stuck in 75 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: this temporary situation. But once things get better, once things 76 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: have gotten better for you, you need to put him 77 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: in a mentoring program. He is nine. He already has 78 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: no respect for you, so it'll only get worse as 79 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: he ages. A real father figure or a mentor is 80 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 1: the only answer for him. And you know, Steve, this 81 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: is what you do, your father, your mentor. I mean, 82 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: I started the mentoring programs for situations like this, how 83 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: much time I'm doing have so I can tell you this. 84 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: I have two four minutes. So here we go callins 85 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: hit it dead on the head. The main thing that's 86 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: needed here is a father figure or a male role 87 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: model introduced to this young boy as ap. You've got 88 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: it's got to be a coach, a school teacher, go 89 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: down there. One hundred black men are doing some great 90 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: mentoring work across this country. They have big brothers and 91 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: little sisters organizations out there that could be of service 92 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: to you if you don't have any relatives, like you 93 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: said in the letter. But you've got to get this 94 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: young man in front of a man. He has a problem. 95 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: The problem is usually a cry for attention. This is 96 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: usually something deeply wrong and he wants attention and he's 97 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: acting it out now. The part that he can't be disciplined, 98 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: that it's not true, but we can get into that later. 99 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: But when you have a young boy, the danger with 100 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: boys not being disciplined is as they get older, life 101 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: becomes their disciplinarium and it comes at a major cost 102 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: because if he don't start practicing discipline, the police gonna 103 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: give him some discipline. The system will give him discipline 104 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: and the boys out in the street gonna give him 105 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: some discipline, and they discipline don't come the same way 106 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: yours will. It will have catastrophic results. The police beat 107 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: you shoot. You boys out on the street now shooting 108 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: and killing each other, and they go into prison. You've 109 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: got to get him a real role model. When I 110 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: come back, I'll give you some suggestion at twenty three, 111 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: after the hour you're listening to. Every part of you 112 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: deserves to be shown off, including your under arms. If 113 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 1: uneven under armed skin tone is holding you back, Dove 114 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: can help. Co created with real women, Dove Even Tone 115 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: antiperspirant helps restore under armed skin to its natural tone 116 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: while providing forty eight hours sweat and odor protection. These 117 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 1: unique formulas are infused with vitamin B three and one 118 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: quarter moisturizers, giving you soft under arms while restoring your 119 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: skin's natural tone in just twenty one days. Throw your 120 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: arms up and show off those under arms. Okay, Steve, 121 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. Here's a thirty eight year 122 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: old mother. The boy's bad start in elementary schools or 123 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: teach us said, he's a major attitude problem. He's a 124 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: very selfish child. He makes up excuses for us bad behavior, 125 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: always telling you to teach us, picking on him. Then 126 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: you don't went to the class and observed. And when 127 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: he ain't know it, and he's bad as heck, you 128 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: didn't had him tested for behavioral disorders. You found that 129 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: ain't none really wrong with him. The schools and shut down. 130 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: Now you can't deal with his disrespectful mouth. A nine 131 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: year old to his mother with a disrespectful mouth, and 132 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: you can't deal with him. And then he ignores what 133 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: you tell him to do. And then on Monday, y'all 134 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: pass by McDonald's. He said he want a burger. You 135 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: told him we had food at the house. He holling 136 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: at you so loud you almost had a heart attack. 137 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,239 Speaker 1: He threw a balled up napkin at you. You tried 138 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 1: to gain your composure. He grabbed the staring wheel and 139 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: we're almost ran off the road. He does not respond 140 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: to me taking his PlayStation or taking his TV out 141 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: of his room. He needs help with anger management and 142 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: stiff punishment. Whatever I'm doing is not working. Then the 143 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: other night, at eleven o'clock you find him out on 144 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 1: the back deck. He nine years old. He needs some 145 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: damn air. What nine year old need al? He nine? 146 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,559 Speaker 1: He need al? I can't watch him twenty four seven. 147 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: I don't think I could make it through this quarantine 148 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: living with this little devil. I don't have relatives that 149 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: will take him in. I need some tips to discipline. 150 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: Can you please help me out? Now? For those of 151 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: you that are new school, don't listen to me. For 152 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: those of you, yeah, don't listen to me, do not 153 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: listen to me. But now I've told you in the 154 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: previous things such as Carler, he needs a male role 155 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: model immediately. But now this part about talking disrespectful to 156 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: his mother. This is part about grabbing sterewheels and hitting 157 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: you in the face with paper, balling up paper throwing 158 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: and hitting you in the Facebook paper. And then he's 159 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: not responding to taking his PlayStation in his TV. I 160 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: don't know why we ain't try to ask whooping yet 161 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,839 Speaker 1: because see, I just don't know why that ain't come 162 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: up yet, Because if I don't have any relatives that 163 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 1: are taking me in, I need some tips to discipline Hill. 164 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,719 Speaker 1: First of all, it's nine year old boy. Can't whoop you. 165 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: I promise you he can't. Not if you it mad 166 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: and strong. When a boy does not honor his mother, 167 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: you are raising a boy that's gonna be abusive to women. 168 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: A woman is the first A mother is the first 169 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: woman a boy loves. Most boys would die for their mama. 170 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: Most boys when it come to their mama, dog, you 171 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: can't because it's the first female he's ever loved. In 172 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: most cases, that is the case. Your boy don't see 173 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: it that way. See, he does not understand the importance 174 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: of significance of having a mother. A man can teach 175 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: it to him if a man was on the scene. Gonna, 176 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: wait a minute, what did you just do? I can't 177 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: imagine any of this that he's done. I can't imagine 178 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: doing this to my mom. I couldn't have did this 179 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 1: to my sister. I couldn't done no paper hit my 180 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: sister with it because I was raised by disciplinarians that 181 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,679 Speaker 1: first of all, women were off limits. He don't know this. 182 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: I don't know why. You gotta right. You got to 183 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 1: try kicking his ass though. I don't care what people say, Steve, 184 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: you can't recommend doing that nowadays. You hit, I don't 185 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: give a damn bout no what Nwadays, I will knock 186 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: your ass into the middle of next week. Do you 187 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: hear me? What are you talking about? He grabbing, staring 188 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: wheels backhand his little man. I knock you are to 189 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: knock it, and plus see you the mother, y'all got rights. 190 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: I don't understand, see mothers. You then carried this baby 191 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: for nine months ankle swollen, stretch marks, weight, game loadedness, pain, 192 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: pre natal care. I don't We can't even relate to 193 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: birthing pains. And we men know nothing abo about this. 194 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: So I take my hat off to woman who give 195 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: birth to people. Wait a minute, that's the most incredible 196 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: thing to be able to do on earth, and you 197 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: disrespected the one person that brought here. Every mother should 198 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: have the right to knock your ass. I wish you would, Hey, man, 199 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: if my sons talk to my mom, man, my boys 200 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: would never do that. They was rains different. You had 201 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: never raised your hand to your mama. Let me explain 202 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: something to you. If you raise your hand to either 203 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: one of them, I'm kicking your ass, rightfuless really just 204 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: saying it. But you cannot. No matter how I feel 205 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 1: about a woman, I've never been physical in any shape, 206 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 1: form or fashion with the woman in my life, and 207 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: I'll be damn if I'm a little one of mine. 208 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: I don't give a damn what she say or what 209 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,959 Speaker 1: she do. I don't care if she throw your ass 210 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: in the float up against the wall, shut your head 211 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: in refrigerator door when you come out. You're better not 212 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: say nothing to do, but you're not doing that. He 213 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: need his ass form. But you better get this boy 214 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: some help in the real role or role model, because 215 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: the system got something for him as soon as he 216 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: turned into a teenager. They're gonna check it. And that's right, Steve, 217 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 1: all right. If you want to comment, go to Steve 218 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,679 Speaker 1: Harvey FM on the Gram and Facebook and coming up 219 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: at forty six after the hour, we're gonna switch gears. 220 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,680 Speaker 1: Tommy is here. You got something for the dancers, you 221 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 1: got you got something. You got us. Right after this, 222 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,959 Speaker 1: you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.