1 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: When the rents passed you in the carball Star, when 2 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: the only sponsors my broken hard. We're hanging on this 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: JANKI stream two weird voices in the glow of a 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: streams the world. 5 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 2: To let it laugh. That brand new theme song for 6 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 2: Laugh with Me from the Pepper Spray Singers. Good work 7 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 2: on that one, Johnny, good work on that one. Getting 8 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 2: the band together, putting together a banger. Welcome, it's a 9 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: brand new episode. This is Laugh with Me a podcast. 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 2: Jeremy Oda, but I'm your home, my check fligeren sign 11 00:00:55,400 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: in the hallway, stickers on the door, stay truck, Jeremy 12 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 2: Payson and circles. Joke scribbled over last week's wrench. 13 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: Johnny at the board, half smile, This is gonna pay 14 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: that friend, maybe, Huffy saying on a thrift store team. 15 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 2: Punch shines in a spiralll no. 16 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: Broke in here, but practicing bits to a bustle of 17 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: j falla shoes day midnight, Seven people to dragmnumer, One 18 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: guy scrolling his phone, one couple already leaving. Jeremy Boss 19 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 1: burns please forget the closer, stares at his shoes, but 20 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 1: want in the bag. Laugh so hard she can move laugh. 21 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 2: When the joke Boss Blass in the room, hate jay O. 22 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 2: And this is the only podcast where we turn workplace 23 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 2: trauma in the content because therapy has a cope. Guys, 24 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 2: we can't just be throwing that around every time someone 25 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 2: makes you mad or ken you. That's actually that's what 26 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 2: therapists were, right, Get that out there. It's all good, 27 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 2: it's all good. We're gonna have a fantastic episode for you, 28 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 2: full of fact, full of fiction. And I'm gonna let you, 29 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 2: guys decide which is which. That's not really neither here 30 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 2: nor there for me. I I'm gonna put it out 31 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 2: there and I'm gonna let the rascals of laugh with 32 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 2: me decide what they wanted to leave here. But it's 33 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,839 Speaker 2: gonna be good for me either way. It's always good 34 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 2: to get get some tension off your off your shoulders, right. 35 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 2: I was gonna say off your chest, but that that's 36 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 2: probably signs of a heart attack. And Johnny, we sure 37 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: shit don't want that. 38 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: Huh. 39 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,519 Speaker 2: Who knows? Maybe this will be our ammy episode. Who knows, 40 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 2: you know? If a golden globe episode, that's what it is. 41 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 2: I guess the end he's aren't recognizing podcasts yet, but 42 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 2: the globes are this just may very well be our 43 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 2: Golden Globe episode. Who knows? Who knows which one is 44 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 2: gonna be the one? That's not really up to me, 45 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 2: But Johnny, I know you'll be the one producing it, 46 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 2: and that's that's what matters most. Welcome to laugh with me. 47 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 2: If you're unfamiliar with what we do here. I mean, 48 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: this is your first time listening, and I know for 49 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: some this is gonna be We have been gaining quite 50 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 2: the audience here as of late. And uh, if you 51 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 2: are new to the show, I mean, it's we're authentic, baby. 52 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 2: We put we put the real life out there and 53 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 2: we try to find the humor with it. Humor with it, 54 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 2: and that's what laugh with Me is all about. Now 55 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 2: we could laugh at me, Okay, you could be saying 56 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 2: that fool, what's his problem? You can't. You can't say 57 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 2: that about your boss? Look at that fool, and you 58 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 2: you of all rights to do that as well, to 59 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 2: laugh at me. But boy, isn't it just more fun 60 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: to laugh with I sure think so, Johnny sure thinks. 61 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 2: So that's producer Johnny Palermo on the Ones and twos. Brother, 62 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 2: you just had a birthday. I just I want to 63 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 2: put that out there. Happy birthday, Johnny. He doesn't just 64 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 2: it was April fourth. He doesn't just have a birthday 65 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 2: though he has famously had a birthday month. So we 66 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 2: are in the midst of it right now. April is 67 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 2: Johnny Palermo's birthday month. Happy birthday, brother. Well, we're gonna 68 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 2: get right into it today. The ballad of Steven the Boss, 69 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 2: that is the boss that was he's he's my boss 70 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 2: at the day job. Okay, and uh, you know, I'd say, 71 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 2: before we even really get into it, it's just rewind 72 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: here a couple of episodes ago, I told a story 73 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 2: about my boss wanting me even though I had approved 74 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 2: day off, even though I had an approved day off 75 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: for health reasons, to get to blood transfusion frankly, and 76 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 2: everybody was aware of it, and it was weeks in 77 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 2: advance planned. We got to the day before and he's 78 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 2: just like, man, I really could usually coming into work. 79 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 2: Not not because we had people call loud and just 80 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 2: that's the only way we can keep the lights on 81 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 2: and thing like that. No, this was strictly because he 82 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 2: just would have felt more comfortable if I was there. 83 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 2: Because there was possibly a chance that some folks from 84 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 2: the corporate office were going to be walking not just 85 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 2: my store, but some other stores in the area. And 86 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,919 Speaker 2: you know, it's obviously you'd just want the best of 87 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: the best in your store when that happens, and that 88 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 2: and that makes a lot of sense. I frankly would 89 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,239 Speaker 2: want to have been in store if this potential walk 90 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 2: was going to happen. Here's the thing. I can't just 91 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 2: be like, you know what, I'm not gonna get my 92 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 2: blood that I very much need in order to make 93 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: it to work all the other days, because you can't 94 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 2: just reschedule that like that. Also, they sprung the walk 95 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 2: on us with a day or two ahead, so it's 96 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 2: not like, you know, we've known about it for a 97 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 2: month or something. It's like, damn, Jeremy, couldn't you have 98 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 2: reschedule that for another day. That's not really my problem. 99 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 2: My problem is making sure I'm healthy enough so I 100 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 2: can show up to work. That's my problem. Either way. 101 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 2: He wanted me there, and damn it, I wasn't going. 102 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 2: And that's that's for damn sure. That's for damn sure, Johnny. 103 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: That's some bullshit. If I've ever heard one. I cannot 104 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 2: imagine telling somebody that, come on in, man, hopefully you're 105 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 2: feeling good enough. If not, I mean, what do you 106 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 2: want me do? They ended up not walking, by the way, 107 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,679 Speaker 2: they ended up not walking the store, So I would 108 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 2: have dragged my happy ass into the store and for 109 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 2: what And they actually stot looked great. I mean, the 110 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: team did a really good job, and everybody knew, all right, 111 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 2: we need let's be ready, you know, you know, the 112 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 2: song and dance and getting ready for corporate walkers. And 113 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 2: it's that's exactly what it was, just big song and 114 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: dance situation. And we got it, figured it out. It 115 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 2: was all good. Anyway. That was a couple a couple 116 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 2: weeks ago. We talked about that and I said, you know, 117 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 2: we'll get into it later. We'll get into who this 118 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 2: fella is. And man, this guy someths special. This is 119 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: the guy I knew of long before him and I 120 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 2: either worked at this at this company. Now we worked 121 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 2: at another company, a grocery chain years ago. We didn't 122 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 2: work together, but we were in similar positions at one 123 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 2: point before I went on to run stores. Then he 124 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: must have left. I had no idea. I didn't really 125 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 2: know him. I just knew of him. Then here we are, 126 00:07:58,320 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 2: we meet up. I'm running the store and then he 127 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 2: comes in as my new balls, the district manager. And 128 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 2: let me just tell you, it's been less than a 129 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 2: year working with the fella and it has been nothing 130 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 2: but frustrations, frankly, but he's very consistent. He's very consistent 131 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 2: in these things. So that's that's fun because you can 132 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: start to get a read on a guy. It's not 133 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 2: like he's, you know, wild card. I'd rather have the 134 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 2: consistency consistently bad than the wild card bad, because then 135 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: you just never know what's coming your way. Consistency, at 136 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 2: least is something you can count on, right, at least 137 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 2: you know where it's at. Well, today we're gonna get 138 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 2: to know him a little bit. He's certainly not going 139 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 2: to be a guest on the pod. I mean, in fact, 140 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 2: i'd keep an eye out on the next a laugh 141 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 2: with me ban list. I have a feeling his name 142 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 2: may come up, which we all know what that means. 143 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 2: That means you get to become a character on the pod. 144 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 2: So we are after we looking forward to the potential 145 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 2: of that. I'm not I'm not announcing anything here, right now, 146 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: I'm just saying the potential is there for mister Steven 147 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 2: to become a future character after joining a band list. 148 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 2: So we'll see. I think he's in the running. We'll 149 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 2: just have to see what the audience reaction is to 150 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: this one. But we're gonna get to know Steven here 151 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: just a little bit. And who is he? Who exactly 152 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,199 Speaker 2: is the district manager named Steve Theodore Wagner? Well, Steve, 153 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 2: he's just one of those guys. It's he's always got 154 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 2: to tell you how long he's been doing this. He's 155 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: been doing it for a good twenty years. Twenty years 156 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 2: of what Steve, That's what I always asked, twenty years 157 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: of what a foding high contact sending group, text forwarding emails. 158 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 2: He's got a lot of jobs. Everywhere he's worked before, 159 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 2: something terrible has happened. Have you heard of people like 160 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: this before? At one place, the CEO didn't like him, 161 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: one his heart wasn't in it. One mysteriously happened to 162 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 2: turn into his spirit Halloween. How did that happen? How 163 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 2: does it just randomly turn into his spirit Halloween? He 164 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 2: right up, like what going on here? Freddy? And somehow 165 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: on the resume that translated into you know what, let's 166 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 2: put this guy in front twelve gas stations and put 167 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 2: him in charge. Now, I think says leadership like a 168 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 2: man whose previous employers all sound like unsolved crimes. I mean, 169 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 2: because I'm still I'm still questioning a few of those. 170 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 2: I have some insight on the first one, but I 171 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 2: have got I've got some questions about those last two. 172 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 2: I will give credit to Steve on this one. He 173 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 2: does walk into a store like he owns the place, 174 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 2: not because he's confident, but because I don't think he 175 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 2: quite knows where he is. He Uh, he's always got 176 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 2: sunglasses on, and he's holding an iPad that probably has 177 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 2: all the answers inside of it. Do you ever see 178 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 2: somebody carrying a tablet like it's capable of serving customers 179 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 2: and making pizza? Yeah, that's not possible. Is this tablet 180 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 2: and its endless list of checkpoints to cross off? Have 181 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 2: the second cashier to jump on the red shirt and 182 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 2: clear this line. I'm gonna tell you right now, it doesn't. 183 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 2: Steven looks like a toddler gripping his tablet because he's 184 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 2: earned screen time only a few more minutes. Stevie Baby, 185 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 2: you only a few more minutes and you can have 186 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 2: your screen time. Then he'll immediately start criticizing things like 187 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 2: why is there dust particles on the top of the 188 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 2: fuel pumps outside? I always want to throw that one 189 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 2: in there, because Steve, you cut labor so bad. The 190 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 2: cashier has been running the registers, stocking cigarettes, cleaning the bathroom, 191 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,439 Speaker 2: and trying to stop a customer for microwaving fish. And 192 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 2: the customer microwave, Oh, that would smell so bad. We 193 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 2: don't have time for dirt outside of all places. We 194 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 2: barely have time for emotions when those do, when those 195 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 2: emotions do come out, they tend to get a little wild. 196 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 2: Steve loves to tell people he was a district manager before. 197 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 2: I mean he says it about every ten minutes. I 198 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 2: was a district manager at my last company. Oh yeah, 199 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 2: and I used to own to a treadmill. Neither one of 200 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 2: us knows what we're doing now, Thank you, Johnny, Johnny 201 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 2: that actually every time I sell a joke, please help 202 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 2: me out here. That wasn't a joke, buddy. The man 203 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 2: manages from behind, not behind the scenes. No, not behind 204 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 2: the counter either, just he's always behind. Every problem is 205 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 2: already always, every problem is already on fire before Steven 206 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 2: even notices it. You tell him, hey, Steve, the coffee 207 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 2: maker's leaking, and Steve will save place to support. Call 208 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,680 Speaker 2: two days later, the coffee maker explodes, water everywhere, standing 209 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 2: water all over the store, and Steve will call you. 210 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 2: Like I heard, there might have been a small issue 211 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 2: with the coffee maker. Yeah, small issue, Steve. That's why 212 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 2: we had to explain to customers why they needed to 213 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 2: jump into the canoe just to get a slice of pizza. 214 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 2: That's not good, man, that's just not good. Steve's favorite phrase, 215 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 2: and I can't stress this enough. I'll send help. That 216 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 2: phrase alone should be embroidered on a pillow in his office. 217 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 2: I'll send help. He says it every single time, Steve. 218 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 2: We've got one person working in the truck, just guy here. 219 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'll send help, Steve. The registers have crashed. 220 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 2: Oh cool, I'll send help, Steve. There's a raccoon in 221 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 2: the back room eating chicken strips and hissing at the 222 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 2: PEPSI guy, yeah, I'll send help. And then nothing, no 223 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 2: help ever comes at this point. I'll send help means 224 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 2: the same thing as thoughts and prayers. We once waited 225 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 2: four hours for the help. Steve promised four hours. That's 226 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 2: not help anymore, that's a hostage situation. Then Steve calls back, 227 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 2: like anybody ever show up? No, Steve, nobody ever shows 228 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 2: up unless you count the raccoon. He's actually running the 229 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,559 Speaker 2: register now, he's employee of the month. And that's the thing. 230 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 2: The beauty of a raccoon now being employed at your 231 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 2: store is he doesn't require a paycheck or if egal 232 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 2: to get to work, just the rabies vaccine and trash 233 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 2: can to sleep it. I like that little guy. Steve 234 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:03,560 Speaker 2: is so disorganed it's unbelievable. He carries around his little 235 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 2: tablet everywhere, not because he wants to write down useful things, 236 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 2: because he thinks a tablet is what manageres hold when 237 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,960 Speaker 2: they don't know what's happening. He'll note everything though, fix 238 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 2: ice machine, call maintenance, schedule an interview, find out why 239 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 2: Morale's low, Steve, Morale's low because you're typing in find 240 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 2: out why Morale's low while standing directly in front of us. 241 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,840 Speaker 2: His tablet has never solved a problem. His tablet's basically 242 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 2: an edge of sketch with lower standards. I think if 243 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 2: you opened up the tablet, every page would just say, 244 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 2: need to circle back, circle back to what Steven. You 245 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 2: never got to the point in the first place. Steve 246 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 2: doesn't understand how the job works. He says things like, 247 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 2: can't you get the truck done in twenty minutes? Twenty minutes, Steven, 248 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 2: the truck's twelve hundred boxes. Industry standard is fifty cases 249 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 2: per hour. This isn't fastened the Furious gas Station edition. 250 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 2: I can tell you that, Thank you, Johnny. Then he 251 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 2: always says stuff like, well, is the schedule done well? 252 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 2: Because he changed the budget and expectations six times since Tuesday. 253 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 2: You schedule people like are throwing darts at a calendar Monday? 254 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 2: Two people Tuesday, nobody Wednesday? Somehow eleven people all at once. 255 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 2: There's not even a room for eleven people in the store. 256 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 2: It's no longer a gas station at that point, just 257 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: a flash mob with cigarettes. Steve will give instructions that 258 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 2: just make no sense. Jeremy, I need you unload the truck, 259 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 2: train the new employee, clean the bathroom, fix that coffee maker, 260 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: stock the cooler, and cover register. And I'll say with 261 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 2: who he said you okay? Should I also perform a 262 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 2: kidney transplant Nile four. I did play a doctor once. 263 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: In a sketch. Steve talks like every problem can be 264 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 2: solved with just working harder. We just have to hustle. 265 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 2: We are hustling, Steve. The cashier moves so fast. Yesterday, 266 00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 2: she clocked in on Monday, clocked out on Thursday. I've 267 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: seen it happen. Steve's the kind of manager who only 268 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 2: repeats what corporate says. Corporate sends an email that says, 269 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 2: improve customer satisfaction. Then Steve comes in like he invented 270 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 2: customer service team. We need to improve customer satisfaction. Wow, 271 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 2: incredible leadership. What's next, Steve? You gotta tell us water's 272 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 2: wet and cigarettes are bad for your health. Then somebody 273 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 2: will ask how do we improve customer satisfaction? And Steve 274 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 2: will say, we need to think outside the box. Well, 275 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 2: what bucks, Steve? The cigarette box, the donut box, the 276 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 2: box of complaints we're setting you every six months. Then 277 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 2: corporate says, reduce the labor costs, so Steve cuts ours. 278 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 2: Then sales drop because nobody's there. Then Steve's confused. That's 279 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 2: like throwing your steeringheel out the window and they're wondering 280 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 2: why the car won't turn. I will say about those 281 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 2: customer service or those customer satisfaction scores, they do tend 282 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 2: to go up and down depending on the labor situation. 283 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 2: That's one hundred and a connection to it. Right. But 284 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 2: here's the thing, you wanted to really know what Steven's 285 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 2: guidance to us was to do anonymous surveys. All the 286 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 2: employees do anonymous surveys. That way we can get because 287 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 2: you know, employees aren't supposed to fill out surveys, and 288 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 2: it'll flag us, right if it's an employee fill in 289 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 2: our survey. But if you do it anonymously, one can 290 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 2: get them good scores up. That'll help them. 291 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 1: Right. 292 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 2: I got a feeling his bonus might be tied to those, 293 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 2: so that's why they're so important. I'm just guessing. I 294 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 2: don't I don't really know. I'm just guessing. Mister stephen Man, 295 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: he loves conference calls. He loves those meetings. Oh boy, 296 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,719 Speaker 2: does he love meetings. Because in a meeting, nobody can 297 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 2: prove he doesn't know anything. He'll stand in front of 298 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 2: the white border on the phone and say, going forward, 299 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 2: we need accountability communication execution that sounds less like a 300 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 2: meeting and more like the World's were superher te Captain, 301 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:55,120 Speaker 2: Accountability communication Boy and their sidekick execution man, whose only 302 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 2: power is sending out an email four fifty five on 303 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 2: Friday where nobody will read it. Then somebody asks the 304 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: real question, Steve, how we're supposed to cover all these shifts? 305 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 2: And Steve will say, that's a great question. You know what, 306 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,479 Speaker 2: you know what, that's a great question, meets Steve. If 307 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 2: Steve needs fifteen seconds to think of a way to leave, 308 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: that's what that means. He'll just sit and pause. That's 309 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 2: a great question. Anyway, I have another story. To get 310 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 2: to another store. Steve's always headed to another store. I 311 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 2: don't think there is another store. I think he just 312 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 2: drives around, listening to self help audiobooks and avoiding responsibility. 313 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 2: I picture him in the company guard park, behind a 314 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 2: Burger king, practicing corporate phrases in the mirror one hundred 315 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 2: days of Summer review. The point per my last email. 316 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 2: Nobody's ever said, per my last email and then been 317 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 2: invited to a party. It's gotta be true. The craziest 318 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,879 Speaker 2: part Steve keeps getting promoted every year. He somehow falls upward, 319 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 2: and that's truly amazing. Most of us make one mistake 320 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,880 Speaker 2: of work and we're apologizing for six months. Steve could 321 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 2: accidentally set a gas pump on fire in corporate would 322 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 2: be like, you know what, this guy has leadership potential. Honestly, 323 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 2: Stephen gives me hope, because if a man can survive 324 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 2: entirely on buzzwords tablets and disappearing at the first sign 325 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 2: of responsibility, then maybe any one of us can achieve 326 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:22,160 Speaker 2: our dreams. Maybe next year I'll become a district manager. Yeah, 327 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 2: I don't know what that means either. I'll just show 328 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 2: up once a month ask why the coffee maker's broke, 329 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 2: and promise help, and vanish off into the sunset. Oh. Man, 330 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 2: if you've enjoyed this episode, send it to somebody who's 331 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 2: ever had a boss whose main skill was looking concerned 332 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 2: while doing absolutely nothing. And then remember always, if your 333 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 2: manager says I'll send help, just start training that raccoon. 334 00:19:55,040 --> 00:20:01,920 Speaker 2: Oh the ballot of Steven. That was fun. Steven, I'd say, 335 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 2: no offense, But man, do I ever do I ever 336 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 2: mean all defense in the world. Man, I've had some 337 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 2: bad bosses. I really have some that have frustrated me 338 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 2: to the point of having to take anxiety medicine I have. 339 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 2: I've had people that have caused so much stress, and 340 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 2: that's maybe that's on me. Maybe I need to figure 341 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 2: out how to handle the stress just a little better. Right, 342 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,960 Speaker 2: But that's that was the pinpoint of starting right there. 343 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 2: I've had bosses like that, but the difference is I 344 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 2: believed in them and I trusted them and they knew 345 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: what they were doing. I don't deal well stupid and 346 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 2: uh well, I'll have you think about that with Steven. 347 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. This has been Laugh with Me, a 348 00:20:54,520 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 2: podcast with Jeremy Yoda for Johnny Palermo in his birthday month. Jeremy, 349 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,360 Speaker 2: when the rents. 350 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: Passed to in the carball Star with Bay when the 351 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: only sponsors my broken Heart. We're hanging down this shanky stream. 352 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 1: Two weird voices in the glow of a stream. If 353 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: the world wo the let it laugh When