1
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,479
Speaker 1: Hello, I may go od him and welcome to thanks dad.

2
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,720
Speaker 1: I was raised by a single mom and don't have

3
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,080
Speaker 1: a relationship with my dad and I don't think I'm

4
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,960
Speaker 1: ever going to have one with him because he is

5
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:18,800
Speaker 1: in fact dead.

6
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,759
Speaker 2: Oh, how to do it?

7
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,360
Speaker 1: Said? That'll do it? Is very funny. Okay, So on

8
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,080
Speaker 1: this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who are

9
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: old enough to be my dad. Well, thank you, or

10
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,160
Speaker 1: are just dads themselves. I actually don't know how old

11
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,800
Speaker 1: you are. You could have been my.

12
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,879
Speaker 2: Dad if I was irresponsible high schooler, I guess.

13
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could have been middle school. Yeah, well, you know,

14
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,920
Speaker 1: elementary school early early late late elementary.

15
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 2: I know a dude in sixth grade had a baby.

16
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,120
Speaker 1: I know a girl in wait was she in no? Okay,

17
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,959
Speaker 1: I would have been sad if I said she was

18
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,080
Speaker 1: also sixth grade And she was in sixth grade and

19
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,520
Speaker 1: had a baby, which is really wild, and it was

20
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 1: her boyfriend was like a high school or something.

21
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,640
Speaker 2: You get jealous of people that had a baby in

22
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,560
Speaker 2: middle school, like, damn, they got it out the way.

23
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:24,479
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do, sometimes I do. Actually I know they

24
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,199
Speaker 1: really did get it out the way. And like those

25
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,960
Speaker 1: people who had their babies in middle school, their kids

26
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,320
Speaker 1: are grown grown now, and it's like, yeah, it may

27
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:38,120
Speaker 1: be Okay, I'm sitting down with father figures who are

28
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,679
Speaker 1: old enough to be my dad or just dads themselves.

29
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,160
Speaker 1: I'll get to ask the questions I've always wanted to

30
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,200
Speaker 1: ask a dad, Like how do I know if the

31
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: guy I'm dating is right for me? Or what should

32
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 1: I look out for when buying a car? Can you

33
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,720
Speaker 1: help me change the oil in said car that I

34
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,360
Speaker 1: am yet to own? Uh huh? Could you you seem

35
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,080
Speaker 1: your southern you could change oil? Yeah?

36
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,640
Speaker 2: You hitting your hands all that?

37
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,000
Speaker 1: Oh wow? Okay, tumumstances okay.

38
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 2: Fan builts too, But I'm more of a tire and

39
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,400
Speaker 2: break pay guy. I'm not really an inernce of the

40
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,800
Speaker 2: motor type of person. Can do it if needed, if needed.

41
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,440
Speaker 1: Do you have triple A?

42
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:16,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

43
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 1: Okay, so if you broke down on the side of

44
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 1: the road, do you do call triple A? You're you're

45
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,920
Speaker 1: rich now in Hollywood. I don't know about rich, but

46
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,519
Speaker 1: you have money in the bank.

47
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 2: Triple A is twenty dollars a month. Let's say let's

48
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,359
Speaker 2: establish the metric of what this cost.

49
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,480
Speaker 1: I actually don't know how much it costs because I

50
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,400
Speaker 1: think I have it and my mom pays for it.

51
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,560
Speaker 1: I don't even have a car.

52
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 2: I have Triple A because it's cheaper than the rental

53
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:41,239
Speaker 2: car roadside assistance. Okay, and I've had Triple A since

54
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,880
Speaker 2: high school, when I first had a car. Right, Yeah,

55
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,239
Speaker 2: Triple A's worth the trouble.

56
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,160
Speaker 1: I've had it since high school.

57
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 2: I can do all the man shit. I just choose

58
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,520
Speaker 2: not to because I did so much of it for

59
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,399
Speaker 2: so long that I feel like I've earned the right

60
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,079
Speaker 2: to pay.

61
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:58,440
Speaker 1: Someone yeah to do it. Okay, Okay, and I respect that. Actually,

62
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,520
Speaker 1: it's not a matter of you being rich. It's a

63
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,720
Speaker 1: matter of I've heard I've earned this and I'm tired.

64
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,360
Speaker 1: You can catch my next guest on his CNN show,

65
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,960
Speaker 1: Have I Got News for you? Please welcome my dad

66
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,520
Speaker 1: for the day, Roy Wood Junior. Hello, Hello, Roy Wood Junior.

67
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:24,240
Speaker 2: You can clean up this god damn mooon someone.

68
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,040
Speaker 1: I got someone else to do it. This is what

69
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 1: they did. I am too tired to clean up my

70
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 1: own ship, and I got someone else to clean up

71
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,840
Speaker 1: this room. Roy. I'm so happy to have you. This

72
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,240
Speaker 1: is so wonderful. I you see, I didn't even know

73
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,080
Speaker 1: you were a dad, and then somehow I heard you

74
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:47,480
Speaker 1: were a dad. Your kid is a secret? Is yeah?

75
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,839
Speaker 1: What is that? And people and the people who don't

76
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,840
Speaker 1: know don't They probably don't need to know anyway, right,

77
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,040
Speaker 1: I don't even know how I found out you had

78
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 1: to kated because well maybe you said something. Why why

79
00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,600
Speaker 1: secret ish?

80
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,520
Speaker 2: Because I live a life where I talk a lot

81
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,880
Speaker 2: of ship about a lot of weird people, and so

82
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 2: he deserves a life that's not in the cross hairs

83
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,640
Speaker 2: because his dad talks a lot of shit. So I

84
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,920
Speaker 2: try to give him a space to grow up. You know,

85
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,720
Speaker 2: I don't get me wrong, I'm not like it's not

86
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,360
Speaker 2: Baron Trump level protocols where I have to like keep

87
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,240
Speaker 2: him away from everything and you never see him, like

88
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,760
Speaker 2: I'm out of my child. I post him from time to.

89
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:35,560
Speaker 1: Time on story. Right, He's like a girl, a girl

90
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 1: you're seeing you don't know, you don't know.

91
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,119
Speaker 2: You think, And to me, I also enjoy the fact

92
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 2: that you don't get to know all parts of me.

93
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:55,560
Speaker 2: It's not for y'all, it's not for everybody, not for consumption, correct.

94
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm out here to entertain, I'm not here

95
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,400
Speaker 2: to entertain and make my couple of jokes and keep

96
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,919
Speaker 2: it moving. There are days where, of course, you know,

97
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 2: he's an inspiration. I sold a book. The book is

98
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,000
Speaker 2: rooted around lessons that I learned from my dad that

99
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,000
Speaker 2: I hope I can pass on to him, the whole

100
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,719
Speaker 2: conceit of the book his fatherhood. So I don't feel

101
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:22,919
Speaker 2: like we yet know what the consequences will be for

102
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:28,719
Speaker 2: our kids having too much visibility before they decide to

103
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:34,960
Speaker 2: be themselves. So I grew up in Birmingham in the

104
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,920
Speaker 2: shadow of my father. My father was a well established

105
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 2: and renown and respective black journalists in a city like

106
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:46,480
Speaker 2: Birmingham that's essentially seventy five eighty percent black. Birmingham proper

107
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:52,520
Speaker 2: is black black. So my dad was the man, he

108
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:56,039
Speaker 2: ran the city. And then I'm walking around with Junior

109
00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:02,200
Speaker 2: tagged onto my shit. So there's just certain I don't

110
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,080
Speaker 2: know behavioral expectations or assumptions that were made about me, Like,

111
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,280
Speaker 2: I just don't know what the price is of being

112
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,960
Speaker 2: my child, so I try to minimize the price for

113
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,040
Speaker 2: him by minimizing exposure.

114
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,760
Speaker 1: You feel you know the price of being your father's son, though,

115
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,039
Speaker 1: because you lived it and now you can say, yeah,

116
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:24,719
Speaker 1: what it was.

117
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,880
Speaker 2: But the price of that was the assumption that I

118
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,560
Speaker 2: was him. But that was in Birmingham. My dad spoke

119
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,600
Speaker 2: highly of black people, He defended blackness. He was a

120
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,720
Speaker 2: champion of all things black for the entirety of his career.

121
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:45,600
Speaker 2: So it was more living in a complimentary legacy. I

122
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,120
Speaker 2: don't have that same love nationally that my dad had. Locally.

123
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,520
Speaker 2: There's a lot of people that like me, a lot

124
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,479
Speaker 2: of people that's indifferent. But the people who don't rock

125
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,320
Speaker 2: with me really don't rock with me.

126
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:56,719
Speaker 1: Really.

127
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,320
Speaker 2: I need to be mindful of that because you won't

128
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,119
Speaker 2: be mad at me. You don't like me, that's fine, cool,

129
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,400
Speaker 2: But the boy is the boy. He got nothing to

130
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,480
Speaker 2: do with this, Okay. So I don't want my son

131
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:13,520
Speaker 2: to ever be in a situation where he feels any

132
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,280
Speaker 2: type of burden, you know, like that, because he's with me,

133
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,040
Speaker 2: and thankfully nothing crazy has ever happened. You know, there

134
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 2: can be some Please give me a picture of moments

135
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:30,120
Speaker 2: that can be a little intrusively odd. But even though

136
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,080
Speaker 2: we've managed ok and we talked through okay, But yeah no,

137
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,240
Speaker 2: you're not going to see me in a commercial with

138
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 2: my son anytime soon.

139
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,280
Speaker 1: And you don't necessarily want him to be an actor.

140
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,080
Speaker 1: You're not like, You're not like, yeah, you should be

141
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,320
Speaker 1: on stage as well. You don't have any expectation for

142
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,320
Speaker 1: him in that regard, right.

143
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 2: My approach to my son is the same as my mother.

144
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,800
Speaker 2: Whatever you show interest in today, I'm going to give

145
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,000
Speaker 2: you every resource and asset to explore that interest. And

146
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 2: if tomorrow that interest is different, we'll explore that way.

147
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:05,360
Speaker 2: But I don't steer him towards anything. I take him

148
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,840
Speaker 2: with me to work sometimes just so he can understand

149
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,920
Speaker 2: who I am and what I do. That part of it,

150
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,560
Speaker 2: Like those memories of my dad are probably the most fond.

151
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,920
Speaker 2: When we got to travel together and when I went

152
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,600
Speaker 2: to the radio station or the TV station with him.

153
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,080
Speaker 2: So I used to take him around the Daily Show

154
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,080
Speaker 2: here and there. I've taken him up to CNN once

155
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,480
Speaker 2: or twice so that when I'm dead and gone and

156
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:35,080
Speaker 2: he's informing himself on who I am, he has his

157
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,760
Speaker 2: own memories to add into that, and he's not piecing

158
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:45,559
Speaker 2: together everybody else's puzzle pieces. So yeah, I'll take him

159
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,400
Speaker 2: to stuff, but like he knows, I do stand up.

160
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,680
Speaker 2: I've taken him to sound checks before he's funny, he

161
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,240
Speaker 2: has a sense of humor. But I'm never going to

162
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,680
Speaker 2: go you must do comedy or you can't do comedy.

163
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,320
Speaker 2: I don't think he'll be good at comedy because he

164
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,079
Speaker 2: has two parents that love him.

165
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 1: But didn't you have two parents that loved you, which

166
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,400
Speaker 1: one didn't love you? You had two parents, we know

167
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:17,680
Speaker 1: that at least one you felt loved you. You're okay.

168
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,600
Speaker 2: Good dad, bad husband. So that's a confliction.

169
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,480
Speaker 1: I hear, you know what, can we talk about? Good dad,

170
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:28,480
Speaker 1: bad husband? I hear from so many men in just

171
00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:32,000
Speaker 1: casual conversation, I can't wait to be a dad. I

172
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 1: can't wait to be a dad. I'm going to be

173
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:38,040
Speaker 1: such a good dad, and I so rarely hear. I

174
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,800
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever really heard, actually a man go,

175
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 1: I can't wait to be a husband. I'm going to

176
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,439
Speaker 1: be a good husband to someone. I've never really heard that,

177
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,640
Speaker 1: and I think that's unfortunate, because they say that part

178
00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,880
Speaker 1: of being a good dad is being a good husband

179
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 1: to your partner and having your kids witness that as well.

180
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,120
Speaker 1: One of the best things you can do is a

181
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,320
Speaker 1: good husband. But I so rarely hear a man say

182
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,960
Speaker 1: I want to be a good husband.

183
00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,320
Speaker 2: Because you didn't see good husbands. Yeah, so why would

184
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,920
Speaker 2: I describe for that? I never saw it, So I

185
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,920
Speaker 2: never even consciously understood the concept. I mean, I get

186
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,439
Speaker 2: it now. You know, even in a co parenting capacity,

187
00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:22,840
Speaker 2: there's still a degree of understanding of oh, well, anyone

188
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:26,480
Speaker 2: I'm dating, which is why it's interesting. Like if I

189
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,679
Speaker 2: meet a woman who goes, I don't want kids, well,

190
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 2: then in my mind I'm like, well, we can't really

191
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 2: do anything. Do you not want to have kids? But

192
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:41,160
Speaker 2: do you not fuck with kids at all? It's different, Yeah,

193
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,959
Speaker 2: because no matter what, this is a step parent situation

194
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:50,600
Speaker 2: you're potentially walking yourself into. So we cannot.

195
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,360
Speaker 1: But if a woman says that I don't want to

196
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,160
Speaker 1: have them, I don't want to do that to my body,

197
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, there's still potential.

198
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:04,400
Speaker 2: There that we'll see. Oh it's not a green light. Yeah,

199
00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 2: okay it let's continue. But at some point I gotta

200
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:15,080
Speaker 2: keep game on your energy towards children and the ideology

201
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,520
Speaker 2: of raising a child, and then adding in the equation

202
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 2: of co parenting on top of that. So the idea

203
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:32,360
Speaker 2: of understanding that your child needs to see love and

204
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,600
Speaker 2: a positive lighter and some sort of construct ideally keep

205
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:42,480
Speaker 2: the home to be the but in the sense of

206
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,560
Speaker 2: the triangulation of three people within the space are having

207
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,680
Speaker 2: love and appreciation and respect for one another. If you

208
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,400
Speaker 2: start there, then you got something.

209
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,800
Speaker 1: I think that makes sense. Now. You said something earlier,

210
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,560
Speaker 1: which is that the expectation of you, considering who your

211
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,960
Speaker 1: father was, was that you would be your father. I'm

212
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,040
Speaker 1: presuming that felt like pressure for you. Is that true?

213
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,920
Speaker 1: Or what exactly did that feel like for you to

214
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,040
Speaker 1: have people expect for you to be your father.

215
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,640
Speaker 2: It's a little different the ironies that I became my father.

216
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,840
Speaker 1: I think so. By the way, if I'm allowed to

217
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,959
Speaker 1: say that might be rude. I don't even know him,

218
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 1: But in the little bit you've said about him and

219
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,800
Speaker 1: the whole setup and how you felt and how your

220
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,080
Speaker 1: son might feel right now, I'm like, I think you

221
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,600
Speaker 1: were him in a different way. Degree, okay to a degree.

222
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 2: But the idea of the pressure I rejected because I

223
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,480
Speaker 2: resented him when I got older.

224
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,480
Speaker 1: You resented him when you got older.

225
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't until I got older. Why so my

226
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,640
Speaker 2: dad died when I was sixteen. Okay, so you know,

227
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 2: just a full perspective. My father was a civil rights

228
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:02,440
Speaker 2: journalist and an activist. He co founded the National Black Network,

229
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 2: which at its time in the sixties was a syndicated

230
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,760
Speaker 2: news radio program informing black people about black issues. It

231
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,960
Speaker 2: was the only thing of its kind, nothing existed before it.

232
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:19,120
Speaker 2: He was embedded in pretty much every atrocity that affected

233
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:28,559
Speaker 2: black people from the nineteen fifties through Rodney King. He

234
00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:37,359
Speaker 2: covered physically on the ground there Vietnam, Korea, Rhodesian Civil Wars, Zimbabwe.

235
00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,199
Speaker 2: Now it was there for that, so wait till riots

236
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:45,400
Speaker 2: in South Africa. Was there for that civil rights movement?

237
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:50,040
Speaker 2: Of course, So he was a revered and trusted voice

238
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,280
Speaker 2: in the black community when it came to tackling issues

239
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,200
Speaker 2: about race. And so by the time he got to

240
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 2: Birmingham was what he was known for. His commentary was biting,

241
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:11,079
Speaker 2: and he challenged local leaders, white politicians like my daddy

242
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:16,560
Speaker 2: was on your ass with that microphone, and so you

243
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 2: know that made him respected and revered. So the assumption

244
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 2: when you see someone that is like done everything the

245
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 2: right way professionally, you assume that private life everything is

246
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:33,960
Speaker 2: humming and necessarily wasn't. And so like just for perspective,

247
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,880
Speaker 2: without even getting into all of it, but it's enough

248
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,080
Speaker 2: detail to give you the understanding. I'm the ninth of

249
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,760
Speaker 2: eleven kids. I'm my mother's only child, so you do

250
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 2: the math on that. So that's the type of person

251
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:54,160
Speaker 2: with the dichotomy of man. And so he was a

252
00:14:54,200 --> 00:15:00,000
Speaker 2: behemoth on radio. So when I graduate from college from

253
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:04,800
Speaker 2: Florida and m and I come back home to Birmingham

254
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 2: and I start interning at the station where my father

255
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,160
Speaker 2: used to work. It was the black station.

256
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,080
Speaker 1: You know, And he's no longer alive at this point.

257
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:19,560
Speaker 2: Most black people in radio and Birmingham owe their career

258
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 2: to my father, just from the sense of he hired you.

259
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,360
Speaker 2: Most people at that time, especially over a certain age,

260
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 2: you either worked with my father or you were hired

261
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,920
Speaker 2: by him. So that afforded me a degree of accessibility

262
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 2: within the city off of his name because they respected him,

263
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,800
Speaker 2: they respected me. But now it's me.

264
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 1: You're just like you did at block right.

265
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,040
Speaker 2: He used to drive me up the fucking wall.

266
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 1: And that was driving you up to the law when

267
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 1: you were in college.

268
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Speaker 2: And you were when I when I graduated college and

269
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 2: I came home to intern in Birmingham. Over what would

270
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,880
Speaker 2: eventually become a twelve year arc in the morning radio

271
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 2: while I did stand up. But this idea of all right,

272
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:10,000
Speaker 2: you did your thing. I am going to work so

273
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 2: hard and be so good and be so funny that

274
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to make people forget your name. I'm going

275
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 2: to erase you from the memories of the people who

276
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,480
Speaker 2: claim they love you.

277
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 1: But then there's the junior of it all, and then

278
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 1: you have the same ass name.

279
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 2: I didn't calculate that other time.

280
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:28,880
Speaker 1: You didn't think about that.

281
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 2: Anything I wanted, yeah, was to stand on my own. Yeah,

282
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,760
Speaker 2: you see me, You see me. You never see him.

283
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,400
Speaker 2: You don't even think about him. You think about me,

284
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:45,320
Speaker 2: and the idea of this independence, breaking off from his

285
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,880
Speaker 2: legacy and being able to say, well, you know, yeah,

286
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 2: you did your thing with the journalism stuff, but I'm

287
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 2: over here and I'm funny and people love me the

288
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 2: same and it had nothing to do with you. And

289
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 2: then you look up. And then once I hit my thirties,

290
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,400
Speaker 2: my comedy becomes more political, My comedy becomes more opinionated.

291
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,840
Speaker 2: And then when I have my child, oh hell breaks

292
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,719
Speaker 2: loose in terms of the types of really societal stuff.

293
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,959
Speaker 2: I want to break down point twice look up, I

294
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 2: am a funnier version of my father attacking the same issues,

295
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 2: and in fact, what I do in the way I

296
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,879
Speaker 2: do it only strengthened the connection that people have between

297
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 2: the two of us because they see what I do

298
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 2: as an extension of him.

299
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 1: And you just you can't shake it.

300
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 2: But it is an extension.

301
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 1: It is. But that's and you want right now. It's fine,

302
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 1: it is okay.

303
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:50,320
Speaker 2: It's like any kid, you know, I didn't get to

304
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 2: go through my rebel. I hate my father face because

305
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 2: he died when I was a teenager, like fourteen through sixteen.

306
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 2: Cancer got I'm pretty good he died when I was sixteen.

307
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: That's the rebel. Fuck you, you don't know. I don't

308
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,400
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing. I went through that entire phase

309
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 2: without him and then still has to come right back

310
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 2: around and go, Yeah, the home life wasn't what it

311
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 2: was supposed to be. But damn man, you was right

312
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: about this, this, this, this and this all to speaking engagements.

313
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 2: You used to make me drive you to where I

314
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 2: will watch you speak about this, this, this, and this man,

315
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,879
Speaker 2: that same stuff happening right now and it's just clearly obvious,

316
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,520
Speaker 2: and it's like, yeah, very interesting.

317
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 1: So today, would you say your feelings towards him are

318
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: that of resentment or appreciation? Obviously it's not a binary

319
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 1: and it can be a little bit of both. But

320
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: you said I started to resent him when I got older.

321
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,440
Speaker 1: Are you Are you saying that's where you live right now?

322
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,880
Speaker 1: Or it's okay, Okay, it's.

323
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 2: Just it's it's understanding. It wasn't. It wasn't the best move,

324
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,880
Speaker 2: you know, on the family Saturday game. But I can

325
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: look at that with maturity now and understand how to move.

326
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 2: So I try not to make the same mistakes for

327
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 2: my son and then identify the parts of the parts

328
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 2: of our parents that we want to keep in the

329
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 2: parts that we can just discard.

330
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:28,800
Speaker 1: Right. I know you're private about your son, so I

331
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 1: pass on this question if you'd like to. I'm just

332
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 1: fascinated by the junior of it all. Is your son

333
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 1: a third Okay? Okay, I've given how private you are.

334
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 1: I was like, it might be enough. Okay, you knew

335
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 1: you didn't want to do that to him because of

336
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 1: what you felt by just having the junior attached, and

337
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: you didn't want to do that, Okay, now, right.

338
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: And if they know you're related, to me, they'll figure it.

339
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 1: Out right now. Did were you your father's first son?

340
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 1: So you're he has eleven children, you're the ninth. Were

341
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 1: you his first son? So he just didn't want to

342
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: name the others? Junior? Yes, do you have any idea why?

343
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 1: He was like, not this one, not this one, not

344
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: this nigga, but this one here, that's the one. Because

345
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 1: now look at you. You're literally like what you're describing

346
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 1: to me. Obviously I've never met your father. I'm like, yes,

347
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 1: you do really become your parents in so many ways,

348
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 1: even if you try to be. And I'm like, damn,

349
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 1: imagine being one of the other boys, Like I couldn't

350
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 1: get the junior.

351
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: Why do you get the junior people? I'm my mother's

352
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 2: only child. Sure, I don't think she.

353
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 1: Cared either way, but maybe and okay, maybe for him,

354
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: maybe that piece of information. I really wish we could

355
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: bring him back right now and ask him why you

356
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 1: got the junior.

357
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,880
Speaker 2: I guess I don't think we can get ship out

358
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 2: of him. Old black people don't be.

359
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 1: Sharing, communicating too much. I'm going to be you know what,

360
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and say, yes, that's.

361
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 2: True, don't share shit, But recipes. I'm like, if you

362
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: don't give me your trauma so I can sort out

363
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: what the fuck is wrong with me?

364
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, asking all these questions my mom, I feel like

365
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 1: I sensed my mom getting tense anytime I started to

366
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 1: be like, so when you were I have a friend

367
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 1: tell me this. She's like, I was talking to some

368
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: healer and they were saying that you can get so

369
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: much information about the way you are day to day

370
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 1: and in the world based on how your mom was

371
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 1: feeling when she was pregnant with you. Was she in

372
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 1: an anxious state? Was she feeling positive and thriving? And

373
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: so she's like, and I talked to my mom about

374
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 1: how she was feeling when she was pregnant with me,

375
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 1: and she was like, I was so scared because we

376
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: were undocumented and this, this and that, and so I

377
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to ask my mom because maybe

378
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: I can figure out why. And the way my mom

379
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,479
Speaker 1: was like, bitch, what are you doing about She was like,

380
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: why are you asking me this? I'm not trying to

381
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: talk to you about this.

382
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 2: Instead of actually of actually sitting for a second and

383
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 2: sitting with it, you got to ask repeatedly for years.

384
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 1: Yes, that's true. So that's get it. It's nice to

385
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,719
Speaker 1: hear that that's not just my experience, because that is

386
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: my experience now in terms of how things were at home,

387
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 1: and you talk about how it just it wasn't quite

388
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 1: right or the way it was supposed to be. Were

389
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: you aware of that as a young person or is

390
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 1: that something you started to realize when you got older,

391
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: that this wasn't quite right and that house.

392
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 2: Wasn't like other people's house. I mean, like just for perspective,

393
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 2: I mean, there were nights that my dad would be

394
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,239
Speaker 2: you know, I have two younger half half siblings, so

395
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 2: my dad would be over there. So there'd be ninety days.

396
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: I'm home and you know he was over there.

397
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, it didn't really the lights was on, those

398
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 2: food in the fridge. Okay, this doesn't If that's if

399
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 2: that's what you've grown up in, then that's all you know.

400
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 2: So yeah, I went to some other people's homes and

401
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 2: their daddy was home every day. My dad's just not

402
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 2: home every day. And that's just how I processed. I

403
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 2: didn't think about it in the sense so the black

404
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 2: family bond and you're not, no, you just yeah, it's

405
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 2: just like this Hey, I made ten dollars for the

406
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 2: field trip. Well your daddy he said, you ain't gonna

407
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: bebe go on the field trip.

408
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: Okay, really cool.

409
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 2: Call him over at the other house, as.

410
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,239
Speaker 1: Would you have to call yourself something I'm gonna call

411
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 1: you were called and ask for your dad. Wow? How

412
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 1: old were you when that started? Or do you remember

413
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: whenever you.

414
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 2: Need ten dollars as a kid? Like wow, thirteen?

415
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? And you you were like, this is what it is.

416
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: It's this is different than my friends.

417
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: But how can you miss what you don't? You know

418
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 2: what I mean?

419
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 1: That resonates with me so deeply because I have said

420
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: on this podcast already a million times over it's part

421
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: of why the podcast exists is that I didn't have

422
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: a relationship with my dad. And I think people want

423
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: to go, oh that I'm so oh, and I go

424
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: my parents got divorced when I was a baby, So

425
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 1: even the notion of divorce and how painful or dramatic

426
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 1: that might be for a household, I'm like, didn't see it,

427
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: don't know it. My mom raised me. I had a

428
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: lot of family around me. I have two brothers, older brothers.

429
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 1: I have tons of uncles and so I'm like that

430
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 1: thing you want me to feel, this giant void. I

431
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: don't really feel it, and so like, how can you

432
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: miss what you don't know?

433
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then people will turn around and go, well,

434
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 2: as a father, now you don't have a reservoir to

435
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 2: pool from to nurture and do the thing because you

436
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 2: didn't have the man nurture. And even if that's true,

437
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 2: I can't go and sit and be sad or cry

438
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 2: about that. Right now, I still have a child to raise,

439
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 2: So my mind is still rooted in what can I

440
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 2: do to connect with my son? And periodically you can

441
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: go back to the reservoir of thinking about, Okay, well

442
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 2: what did my father do in this situation? And that

443
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 2: file is empty and that can be a little annoying

444
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 2: at times, but in the biggest scheme of things, I

445
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 2: don't know. I just still feel like there's a job

446
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 2: to be done in this race, kid.

447
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: Right are there things from your father that you go

448
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 1: when you go in that file cabinet that you look

449
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: at and go, Okay, he did give me this that

450
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: I can now impart to my son. He did do

451
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: this thing that I can now do for my son,

452
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: and that I would like to do for my son.

453
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd say work ethic and tedacity. Nobody I work

454
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: my dad. My dad worked until three weeks before he

455
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 2: died with the full blown prostate cancer. Didn't take chemo

456
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: because it would make him too weak to.

457
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: Do radio, really work ethic.

458
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 2: M you know. I don't know if that's escapism or lunacy, whatever,

459
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 2: but that was his approach to his craft, and he

460
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 2: enjoyed remaining connected to people. My son enjoys that connection.

461
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 2: So there's I'd say that's probably the most evident thing. Okay,

462
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: but for sure the desire to talk. That boy is

463
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 2: an orator.

464
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, okay, it's yeah. Did you feel when you

465
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 1: were younger though, did like did you guys did have

466
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: a connection. I know, you would go with him to

467
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: work events, he would take you in the car with him.

468
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: You would go on these trips. You would get to

469
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: see him do what he does and be good at it,

470
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 1: see him revered by peers and colleagues. But did you

471
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: feel like you had a connection beyond that outside of that?

472
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I don't know, Like, in hindsight, probably not.

473
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:51,479
Speaker 2: But I never felt disconnected, like I never like, well,

474
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: my dad was going I never missed him, so whatever

475
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 2: that means. But like the idea of like coming home

476
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 2: dad's young, Yeah, ever really had that, And it really

477
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 2: wasn't until I look, you know, because my father worked

478
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: in the mornings. He was a morning radio news guy,

479
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: so my dad was gone before I woke up in

480
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 2: the morning. And then my father also worked an evening

481
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 2: shift doing jazz jazz station or whatever, so I might

482
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,959
Speaker 2: see my pop somewhere between four to seven pm. Like

483
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 2: if it's his week to come pick me up from

484
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 2: baseball practice in high school, all right, I see you

485
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 2: at six thirty, practicing every day at six thirty. So

486
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 2: there's that he dropped me off. He right back out

487
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 2: the door to go to the radio station. If my

488
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 2: mom's a night school, I put myself to bed. I

489
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 2: was a latch key kid, So the idea of having

490
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 2: connection never registered consciously in the moment as a child,

491
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 2: especially as a teenager. Sure, it wasn't until I got

492
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 2: older when I started realizing most of my fondest memories

493
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 2: about my dad were from travel. So then inherently the

494
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: first thing I started doing with my son is making

495
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 2: sure that travel is as important as the destination. Like

496
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 2: he had a man he had an old Cadillac And

497
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 2: this is when we were still my parents were separated.

498
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: They got separated after I was born. They didn't reconcile

499
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 2: to like maybe fourth grade. So my mom and I

500
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 2: lived in Memphis at the time. That's before Birmingham. And

501
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 2: so my pops will drive up to Memphis sometimes to

502
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 2: pick me up for the summer, you or whatever. And

503
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 2: he had this Cadillac and for whatever reason, this negro

504
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 2: put a fucking CBE radio in his Cadillac with a

505
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 2: big ass CBN ten on the back. His theory was

506
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: that it was to be able to know where the

507
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: police were in real time because truck driver snitch and man,

508
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 2: he must have gave me that damn CB radio and

509
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: showed me the channel switcher. Yeah, and I would spend

510
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: three hours from Memphis to Birmingham talking to strangers over

511
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: a radio. You just break a break on one nine,

512
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 2: the big smokes on the radio check Clier like just yeah, man,

513
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 2: sounds stupid, but I used to love that, like that

514
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: fun business.

515
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

516
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 2: So you couple that with my son. Now, this is

517
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 2: the cool thing about Daily Show and all of that stuff.

518
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: Where I have these opportunities now where I have these

519
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 2: weird hookups and stuff like, I don't know, most people

520
00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 2: have courtside tickets and you know, I can. I can

521
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 2: get the latest Nikes before they come out. I have

522
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 2: a friend that works in air traffic control and can

523
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: walk me and my son into any air traffic control

524
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: tower in America and we can just watch air traffic

525
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 2: controllers communicate with planes. My son that is obsessed with aviation.

526
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, lose his fucking mind. That's really cool.

527
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: Backstage at Sea World type shiite like I can be

528
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 2: in the back with the Yeah, those are the weird connects.

529
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 2: That's that's my rollods.

530
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

531
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 2: So the idea of being around my dad while he

532
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 2: did anything, I think that was really that was the

533
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 2: cool thing. But to be consciously aware of it in

534
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: the moment that this is connection, and I understand it was.

535
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 2: I lived in my own world, kid. My parents were

536
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: just more so co stars.

537
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, in that world. Do you feel proud of your

538
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: name or pride in the name you have now?

539
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I mean any issues I have with the

540
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 2: name is internal. It's family business.

541
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: So you do feel a sense of prise brand?

542
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, my father, my father hired Don Cornelius. Yeah, so

543
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 2: you know, it's like we talked contributions to the culture.

544
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 2: The Wood name made contributions to Black Americans. Yeah, paid

545
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: in blood by my dad. You know, I'm lucky enough

546
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 2: to not have to get hit with a brick in

547
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: the middle of a daily show safe. But yeah, when

548
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,719
Speaker 2: you think about the Wood family and the idea of

549
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: us having something relevant to say and it being interesting, Yeah,

550
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: I think I think I've honored the family name this.

551
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said your dad was a good father, bad husband.

552
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: Would you say your father was a good man in

553
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: your opinion?

554
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 2: Not positive? But you know you lack in a lot

555
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: of places. I think we try to boil people down

556
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 2: into some sort of totality. I really haven't even taken

557
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: time to really think and consider every reason why he

558
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: may have made the choices he made. But eleven kids,

559
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: four different women, you're running from something.

560
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 1: Sure, do you feel you have empathy and compassion for him? Now?

561
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: Looking back at some of that stuff, you're smiling, keep smilingly.

562
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 2: Empathy suggests forgiveness, and I don't know if you can necessarily,

563
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 2: And that's asking me to get past what happened to

564
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 2: me and the stuff that I deal with. And I

565
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 2: don't know if I can just wave that off as

566
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: being all in the game, you know, But I do

567
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: think with the tools that he had at the time,

568
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: you know, motherfucker was trying. But I think we often

569
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: self medicate our problems with alcohol or women, right, or

570
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 2: drugs or whatever or was it just women or so No,

571
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 2: he wasn't liquor or drug like alcohol would mess with

572
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 2: his voice. So he just he respected his instrument way

573
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 2: more than I do. I don't. I think with better

574
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 2: tools he could have done better. If we're talking as

575
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 2: a father, you know. And that's the thing you have

576
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 2: to be careful about, is that when we're critiquing people

577
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 2: in hindsight and what they meant to us, people on

578
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: our side looking in who had a different opinion and

579
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 2: interpretation of that person, you can get angry and take

580
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 2: offense to it.

581
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 1: And do you feel like you want to protect people's

582
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: view of him.

583
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's protect as much as just

584
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,439
Speaker 2: give a full scope of it all. Because in my book,

585
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 2: I'm going to talk a little bit about, Hey, here's

586
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 2: some days he didn't come home, and here's how that

587
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: here's how I believe that affected me. Now at its core,

588
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 2: was he just looking for love, you know, and didn't

589
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: know how to find it?

590
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 1: Is that wrong?

591
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:35,720
Speaker 2: The search?

592
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: The how things does matter?

593
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: I agree, But we also live in a very unnuanced

594
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 2: society and you have to be careful because people will

595
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: throw out the totality of your work because of one

596
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: character flaw. And I don't agree with that either. So yeah,

597
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 2: it's it's definitely a balancing act of figuring out how

598
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 2: mad to be and then all so, just how much

599
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 2: respect to still possess?

600
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,439
Speaker 1: And you do respect your dad?

601
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah? I respect my father, but not enough to sit

602
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 2: quietly and not criticize.

603
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: Sure, but some people would say that to criticize one

604
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: could be an act of love though too.

605
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 2: I'm just this is just what happened, and this is

606
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 2: how it affected me, and I have to be conscious

607
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: of that because I'm trying to raise a child. Yeah,

608
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: and I have to make sure I don't make the

609
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:31,840
Speaker 2: same mistakes. So I got to dissect everything that happened

610
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 2: between me and him.

611
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 1: Right. Were you scared to become a parent at any point?

612
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still scared of parenting. You get the hang

613
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 2: of it, but you still don't know if you're doing

614
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: it right and you don't know if you're if you've

615
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: done it right to the kids, like twenty five.

616
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: How old is your son now? Eight? Okay, so that's

617
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: some time to go before you have any sense of

618
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: am I doing this right?

619
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 2: You know? So far? Does he punch other children?

620
00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: Does he?

621
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 2: It's helpful? No, so you learned, you assess that first,

622
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: and then from that you're able to chip away. But

623
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 2: the idea of being scared, I'm not scared, but I'm

624
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: definitely like worried about Okay, well, how do I solve

625
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: these problems? I don't doubt that I'll solve the problem,

626
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 2: but it's always something new getting presented. Just societally speaking,

627
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 2: that just goes against so many other things, you know,

628
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 2: like I wouldn't be opposed to another.

629
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: Child, really, but I.

630
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 2: Have to have there's a money in an infrastructure in place.

631
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to have a child at the expense

632
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 2: of the comforts of my first son.

633
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: Okay.

634
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: I'd rather have one child living good than two children.

635
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: It's just I Okay, you know that's not sure. Would

636
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: you ideally, if you were to have another child, not

637
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: only would you not compromise your son's comforts, would you

638
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: ideally be married to the mother of the second child

639
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: or does that not matter to you?

640
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: Being together is important the construct under which you want

641
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 2: to draw it up that you know, pick a religion,

642
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 2: you know, right, but yeah, let's live together, please, and

643
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 2: so whatever metric your religion or my religion, like, I

644
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 2: don't have to have a be all end all. We

645
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: must be married or else we cannot do. Marriage is

646
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: a system, is a little.

647
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: Interesting, right, that's one way to put it.

648
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 2: Then, at the very least someone and that's what they

649
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: want to do. I don't know if I would be

650
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 2: against that against but the issues that most women that

651
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: want to be married don't want to hit on. Motherfucker,

652
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: talk about marriage like that.

653
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: It's a measured response. I don't even think you said

654
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: anything controversial. In fact, it is measured. But the thing

655
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: that might be off putting to some people who are

656
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: so fascinated and interested in marriage is that it's like

657
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: this fairy tale for them. It's and it's like and

658
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 1: so I want you to think about it like a

659
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: fairy tale as well, but it's like, it's not a

660
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,879
Speaker 1: fairy tale. It's a government contract and it's a partnership

661
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: and a business partnership.

662
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: So then people go, well, if you don't want to

663
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 2: do it the way I want to do it, well,

664
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 2: then we shouldn't do it. So then we shouldn't be

665
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 2: together at all. Well, that means you've brought into the

666
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: idea of marriage and not necessarily togetherness, which is fine,

667
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 2: but that just doesn't work for me. But the construct

668
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: of a child with a woman who does not live

669
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 2: under that same roof, I.

670
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: Would not want to do You wouldn't want to do that.

671
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to do that.

672
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your favorite part about fatherhood? Part?

673
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:47,439
Speaker 2: Learning about myself? I know that's selfish as fuck.

674
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: It is selfish, but I think it's interesting. But that's

675
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 1: the truth. Is that your truth? If that's the truth, please.

676
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 2: I only want truting. A kid showed me how selfish

677
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 2: I was. And then when I got my place, you

678
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 2: know when when when the co parenting arc of my

679
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 2: relationship with my son started. I have my place, and

680
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 2: then you have.

681
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: Your room at my place.

682
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so then he's got he's got these legos

683
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 2: he'd be building, right, and we built one or two

684
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 2: of the legos and then there's just like a shelf

685
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 2: near the TV and I put one of the little

686
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 2: small legos out there, like, you know, good job, my

687
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: fuckers is masking it and they never won't be did

688
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 2: together and put that one out there. Look at look

689
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:40,479
Speaker 2: at what we did. No more dawned on me. I'm like, oh, wait,

690
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 2: this is his house too, your room at my place,

691
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 2: and I'm some single bachelor's we live together. You're in

692
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 2: my roommate. Yeah, that's my roommate. My roommate gets some

693
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:01,280
Speaker 2: degree of space, and so little things like your books

694
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 2: are in the living room on a living room bookshelf,

695
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 2: and that seems small. But I got to figure out

696
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 2: what I want to do. I need to make an

697
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 2: office for myself, but he'll have a desk in there too. Yeah,

698
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 2: this is your space. And so this idea of making

699
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 2: room for people is something that I've never inherently had

700
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 2: to do, and so to be consciously aware of it

701
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 2: and doing it is a serious piece of growth.

702
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you think then having a son in your

703
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 1: experience for you has made you a better person, at

704
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 1: the very least more self aware.

705
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: I would not have achieved what I've achieved in the

706
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: last nine years if I did not have a child

707
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 2: and the pressure of providing driving me. It is another layer.

708
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 2: It's another level of focus that you cannot simulate. But

709
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 2: I think within that it made everything that I say

710
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: and do more intentional, more or scalpo level efficient. You know.

711
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: It's made me want to make sure that every moment

712
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 2: I spend away from home is worth it. So it

713
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 2: changed the types of things I say yes to, okay,

714
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: because it's not just a gig and some money. This

715
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 2: is time away from him when I could be doing

716
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 2: dad dude bro shit with him. So I'm not I'm

717
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 2: not just gonna say yes. So it just made me

718
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 2: more efficient across the board.

719
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like you take the duty of being

720
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: a father very seriously and there are things you enjoy,

721
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 1: including learning about yourself. But do you do you find

722
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: it fun where you're like, I'm going to say no

723
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 1: to being on the road. Okay.

724
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why the CNN show is so dope because

725
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,400
Speaker 2: I get to be in town on weekends.

726
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: Now, oh nice, Okay, I get.

727
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 2: To be in town on weekends, and actually, if I

728
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 2: want to go somewhere with him during the day on Saturday,

729
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 2: I can. I haven't had that since twenty fifteen, you know,

730
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 2: because even when Daily Show. When I wasn't doing Daily Show,

731
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 2: I was still touring as a stand up and I'm

732
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: going to get back to touring next year at some point.

733
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 2: But to be able to sit still at a time

734
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 2: where your kids still think you're cool?

735
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. When do you think your son's going to

736
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:24,479
Speaker 1: stop thinking you're cool? If you had to predict based

737
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 1: on your experience or what you've seen.

738
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: According to the Instagram videos I watch, it is around

739
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: age twelve.

740
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: Okay, so you have four more years somewhere in there.

741
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 2: Your kids think you're just garbage and just terrible, and

742
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: you're icky, you're embarrassing me, all of that stuff.

743
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: Is that time coming? Does that make you nervous or

744
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: anxious in any way or you're just like, I know

745
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,439
Speaker 1: it's coming, and I know I'm not.

746
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 2: Going to repeat myself to my son. If he doesn't

747
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 2: want to listen, I keep telling you can listen to me,

748
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: or you can get the lesson.

749
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

750
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: So if you think I'm dumb, that's fine. Go out

751
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 2: in the world and give it a shot, and then

752
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 2: let me know how that works out for you. That

753
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 2: big dog.

754
00:42:58,719 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 1: Are you a disciplinarian?

755
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean not in a whipping yell and beat

756
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 2: your kids type sense, but in the sense of that

757
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 2: was an action, here's the consequence.

758
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: Absolutely, are we talking time out? Are we talking allowance

759
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: being withheld?

760
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 2: A lot of it is revolcanic privileges. Okay, that's really

761
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 2: where a lot of it starts. And then some of

762
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: it is just written stuff. You know, it really helps sometimes,

763
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 2: But making people write.

764
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: Shit, that's why they used to do that on the

765
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: board and on the chalkboard, and over and over and

766
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 1: over and over again. Now do you think it's because

767
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: you're you're creating a new neuropathway and it's like you're

768
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: gonna this is going to penetrate your psyche what you

769
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: are writing or the act of writing over and over

770
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 1: feels like punishment in and of itself, regardless of Yeah.

771
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 2: I think it's both. It's I want your hand to cramp,

772
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: but also I really need you to remember this, bro. Yeah,

773
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: so I think in that regard, Okay, I think he's

774
00:43:58,719 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 2: got it together.

775
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: It's something you've made him right over is it over

776
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:01,760
Speaker 1: and over again?

777
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 2: It's just regular handwriting stuff. You just do handwriting notebooks

778
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. But for the most part, we

779
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 2: have a good child like The most I can say

780
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 2: is that my son just wants to stay up later, Okay,

781
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: an extra tablet time. Yeah, and we really don't do

782
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 2: a lot of tablet time to begin with. So in

783
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 2: the bigger scheme of behaviorally, where he could be at

784
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: this mid marker in the third grade, I'm lucky.

785
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm very lucky. I love that. Now. You said

786
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: you are co parenting now and the notion of having

787
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: another child is cool with you, especially particularly if you

788
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: and your partner are at least living together. So you

789
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: and your partner now are not living together. When that

790
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: split happened, did you feel like somehow, like fuck, I

791
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: fucked this up?

792
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? You always feel like you fucked it up because

793
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 2: you don't want the child existing in something that's split.

794
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 2: You know, my son didn't get the luxury of coming

795
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 2: up in a house that was already split. I did.

796
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: I came up in a house that was already a

797
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 2: single parent home, and they and my parents were reconciled.

798
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 2: This was the opposite. So yeah, you know, there's definitely

799
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 2: a feeling in that. But I think where relationships are

800
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 2: concerned as parents, what we have to weigh, and I

801
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: don't think there's a right answer. It's just what's right

802
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: for you. I think as a parent, you have to

803
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:36,839
Speaker 2: weigh how much your own well being plays into the

804
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: psyche of what your child observes and what your child sees,

805
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 2: and whether or not that's for the betterment or detriment

806
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 2: of the child. Same as with the pregnancy, using a

807
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: good mood in the pregnancy versus the general demeanor around

808
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 2: each other. If that's starting to change, I think if

809
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,839
Speaker 2: you're in any type of parenting situation with a child,

810
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 2: you have to start considering that. Consider your mood, Consider

811
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 2: how you're showing up emotionally into this home, because sooner

812
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 2: or later that's going to inform the child is going

813
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 2: to be informed by that. So then it becomes, all right,

814
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: are you a failure for leaving? Or are you a

815
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 2: bigger detriment if you stay?

816
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: Sure that's the question, right, Well, I mean there's.

817
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 2: A lot of people that have come up in homes

818
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: with two parents who just made it, made do, and

819
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 2: then the day you left for college, they filed for divorce.

820
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: Always I'm fascinated by that. Yeah, I'm fascinated by that.

821
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: I just I've said this before, but I saw it

822
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 1: on a I was watching some docuseries and about the

823
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and this one girl America Sweethearts, which

824
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: it was an interesting watch. I Love Me a docuseries.

825
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: I'm watching this one young girl her who's auditioning. Her

826
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: parents were like, we kept it together her and literally

827
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 1: when she turned to eighteen, they're like, and we're getting divorced.

828
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 1: But I'm like, so you kept her from the notion

829
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: and the reality that there was conflict between you two.

830
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel like that does its own number

831
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: on a person.

832
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: If she's in a relationship, she's going to be more

833
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 2: inclined to stay in something that's boring and emotionally detrimental

834
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 2: to her.

835
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, or even like you're telling me one thing is true,

836
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: but I don't know if it is true, because I

837
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:29,800
Speaker 1: thought my parents were happily married for it was a lie.

838
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: Like I was like, I don't know if that's that's better, right, So.

839
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 2: I don't know, Yeah, I don't know. I just think

840
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 2: that as a parent, you have a responsibility to the

841
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: energy that you show up with two parents, and if

842
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 2: anything is creating a shifting that energy, you have to

843
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 2: figure out what you're going to do about it, and

844
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: for me, the best case scenario was to leave right now.

845
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,439
Speaker 1: When you're talking about showing up with a certain type

846
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 1: of energy while parenting and being responsible for that and

847
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 1: understanding that the energy you bring as a parent is

848
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: going to impact the child. You spent a lot of

849
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: time on the road as a comedian, and obviously now

850
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 1: you're looking forward to being in a home more and

851
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: available on the weekends. But I going on the road

852
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 1: in the little bits and ways that I have, I'm like,

853
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted from travel. So was that a challenge for

854
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 1: you to be like on the road building your career,

855
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: doing daily show, living that life, doing that schedule, but

856
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:31,320
Speaker 1: then still making sure you're showing up with energy and

857
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: attention for your son.

858
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also, you know, a great deal of that

859
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: also still goes back to my son's mother. I have

860
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 2: a great co parenting partner who's still been able to

861
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 2: afford me the space to be able to go and

862
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 2: chase things at the speed at which things need to

863
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 2: be done. And so to be able to be a

864
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 2: way is still a gift and that's positive.

865
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: You know.

866
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I come home tired sometimes. But what Bernie Mack

867
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: said and players clip welcome to the stripping game, partner.

868
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: But do you feel guilty about it though, or you're like,

869
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 1: this is what it is, and I know that my

870
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 1: intent is to show up with as much energy as

871
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: I can, there's still guilt.

872
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 2: Nothing alleviates the guilt of sending your child to voicemail

873
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 2: when he facetimes you two minutes before you're about to

874
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,439
Speaker 2: go on air, and you know if you answer this call,

875
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 2: he's not going to understand completely why you're rushing him

876
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 2: off the phone, which means the next time he calls,

877
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 2: he might not call because he's going to feel rushed

878
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 2: versus not answering at all, and then him go on

879
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: whenever I call, you never answer.

880
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: But then you know, even with the guilt, you know

881
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 1: I'm making I am making an informed decision here. It's

882
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,439
Speaker 1: not I wish I didn't have to make the call,

883
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 1: but I have to make the climate make the decision.

884
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 1: I wish I didn't have to, but given my two

885
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: options here and what the other is, do this is

886
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: the best.

887
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: But then that also means I have to leave that

888
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 2: completely alone and not feel that because now it's inhibiting

889
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 2: my ability to perform because I'm sad, so I can't

890
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 2: allow that emotion to even enter my heart because the

891
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 2: whole point of leaving town was to do this job

892
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 2: really well, make people laugh, get money, so then the

893
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 2: next time I come, I can make more money so

894
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 2: I don't have to travel as much, so I can

895
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 2: be home. So then whatever it takes to do this

896
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 2: job properly. When I'm gone, I'm at work and the

897
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,760
Speaker 2: phone is on like and a special like, my phone

898
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 2: is set whatever that DND.

899
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: Is, do not disturbuish. Some people just their phones live

900
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 1: on it.

901
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:58,760
Speaker 2: But you can. You can set overrides. And so mama

902
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 2: babysitter sometimes my mom, but my mom was still she

903
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,720
Speaker 2: abused the privilege.

904
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: The mom's cut off, the one loving parent, not you. Not.

905
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 2: If his mom called me with something wherever I am

906
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,720
Speaker 2: on Earth, I will walk the fuck off that stage

907
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 2: and deal with it. But unless it's a five alarm fire,

908
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: I focus on these jokes, so I can't connect with sadness.

909
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 2: I can't allow myself to because now I'm away and

910
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm not efficient. What the fuck is the point of

911
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 2: leaving town? So I'd rather I'd rather speak to him

912
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 2: as best I can before the show or during sound check,

913
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 2: you know, you almost have to make sure that you're

914
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 2: scheduling time to be connected. That's probably the biggest change

915
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 2: that you have to make as a performer when you

916
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 2: become a father is figuring out, Hey, I love you,

917
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: and we're going to talk now, because in two hours

918
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 2: gonna be able to talk. So that became one of

919
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:07,240
Speaker 2: the adjustments that I started making. And so now Marten

920
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 2: and not on the weekends if I'm on the road.

921
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 2: You know, we try and catch up in the mornings,

922
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 2: talk in the mornings. But you know, in three four

923
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,359
Speaker 2: years he's not gonna want to talk to me at all.

924
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 2: He might text me for money.

925
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 1: Are you probably call your daddy to side check out

926
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: and he'll call you. But at this time, it's still

927
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: the same phone number because your cell phone is your

928
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 1: cell phone number, correct, whereas you had the side check's

929
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: house number. Wow, different times. Yeah, if it was now,

930
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: you could have just called dad's cell phone wherever his

931
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 1: dad is. If it's the side chick's house, another side

932
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 1: chick's house, work, whatever, it's the same time.

933
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 2: And I talked to my two younger half brothers. We

934
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 2: wrapped for a minute, which were up two man, we

935
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 2: go out of school. My school, gonna beat your school,

936
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:50,320
Speaker 2: your school.

937
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: And and then you talk to your okay, our shared

938
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: father on the phone. Okay, thank you for sharing all

939
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 1: of this and being open and vulnerable. May I ask

940
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 1: name of.

941
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 2: Your book, Oh, the Man of Many Fathers.

942
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: The Man of many fathers.

943
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 2: I got all of these lessons from just so many

944
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 2: different people that I've worked with and opened for. And

945
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: I'm just so grateful that because for all of the

946
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 2: traveling and interacting that we did, my father and I

947
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: never really talked. We never really got deep about anything

948
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 2: other than work in politics and how he sees the

949
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:30,240
Speaker 2: world of politics. Outside of that, we never talked about

950
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,839
Speaker 2: just regular life stuff. And I'm just so grateful for

951
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 2: all of these different men that filled my life over

952
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 2: the last couple of decades that when I look back

953
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: on those moments, I'm able to glean so many different things.

954
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: You know.

955
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 2: The idea from the book came from the birth of

956
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:51,319
Speaker 2: my son, when I started trying to think about, all, right, well,

957
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 2: what lessons did I learn from my dad? I didn't

958
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 2: learn that from him? Well, who don't learned that from?

959
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 1: Right?

960
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 2: And learned that from? But who do I learn that from?

961
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 2: And then you look up and it's like, oh wow,

962
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 2: there was an entire village of people that came together.

963
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 1: Right.

964
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So I'm excited to get that book done.

965
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll be looking out for it, truly, I'm serious. Again,

966
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: this the conceit of it really resonates with me too.

967
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:21,720
Speaker 1: Where I go. You might not have had a present father,

968
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: but if you're fortunate, and I feel like I'm one

969
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: of those people who's fortunate, you had many father figures,

970
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 1: and in the case of this podcast, you've been my

971
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 1: dad today.

972
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 2: You're welcome.

973
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: Thank you Dad, for real. Thanks? So I actually thanks Dad.

974
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: I should say you cannot borrow ten dollars? Can I

975
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: borrow ten? K?

976
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:40,919
Speaker 2: Shit?

977
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 1: Now, hold on, what's going on? I'm gonna borrows? Okay, though, Roy,

978
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 1: this has been such a wonderful conversation. Do you want

979
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: your son to be able to talk to you about

980
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:56,760
Speaker 1: anything and everything?

981
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, so far we can. What I what I

982
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 2: noticed with him is that if I share my fears

983
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:07,760
Speaker 2: and concerns am I sadness says that's not a word,

984
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 2: then he's more inclined to share. He is on the backside.

985
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 1: It's a psychological phenomenon. They said when you're vulnerable, the

986
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: person you're speaking to is more willing to be vulnerable themselves,

987
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 1: and so just shout out to you, and I am

988
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 1: really looking forward to getting that book, and thank you

989
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: for being my dad for the day. I end every

990
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 1: episode asking all my dads for a piece of advice.

991
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 1: I think I want to start calling this segment dadvice,

992
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: Dad advice, dadvice, a piece of advice. Okay, anyways, Okay,

993
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: so I have been doing a lot of online shopping Dad,

994
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 1: and I've also then been doing a lot of returning

995
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,240
Speaker 1: of those online items. But in my mind, it's saving

996
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: me time because I don't have to go in the store,

997
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 1: find out they don't have any of the sizes I

998
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 1: need or want, spend time perusan on foot, whereas I

999
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: can just instead be on a website see what sizes

1000
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 1: they have, have it shipped directly to my house, and

1001
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: if I don't want it, I ship it back. Okay, correct,

1002
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 1: Do you, Dad think that it's time I go back

1003
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 1: to stores because it's something I've been considering. Should I

1004
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 1: go back to stores less returning that way because I'm

1005
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 1: actually trying the thing on in real time?

1006
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 2: What joy do you get out of the store.

1007
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: Do I get any joy out of going to the store.

1008
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess having the item in my hand

1009
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: in real time and not having to wait for ittratication.

1010
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 2: Yes, that's not enough, right, I'd say keep doing the

1011
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:47,760
Speaker 2: online shopping only because stores are chaotic. You will see

1012
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 2: some things that are different in the store, but more

1013
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 2: often than not, I go to a store for sizing purposes.

1014
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 2: But you can order two sizes and send stuff back.

1015
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 2: It's hard to say no when it's when it's up

1016
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 2: that easy, with the return label already in it. You

1017
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 2: can't say no to that. And we're keeping the shipping

1018
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:08,800
Speaker 2: industry in business.

1019
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, there's something charitable about what I'm doing. Where

1020
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: would if it were those men in those brown blouses,

1021
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 1: where would they be in the little shorts in the summer? Yeah? Okay.

1022
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: As a person who enjoys shopping for electronics in person

1023
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 2: and shoes in persons, okay, I think it's hard to

1024
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:34,160
Speaker 2: justify going in a store when you know they're going

1025
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 2: to have less.

1026
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: Options every time. Stores don't have anything in them anymore.

1027
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 2: And my issue with stores is that for me, I'm

1028
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 2: an extremely indecisive person. So I'm going to price match

1029
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 2: this across every other store.

1030
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 1: I understand. Okay, you're going to go from Story store,

1031
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 1: will you while you're in store Google and see like, okay,

1032
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 1: is this available for less online? Oh no, I hadn't

1033
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 1: even thought about that, because that's something I'll do that

1034
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 1: you take picture that drop it into Google. They're app

1035
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 1: but you can take a picture of anything. Yes, there is,

1036
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: there is, but I will Okay, this is an item.

1037
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 1: I look at the item. I look at the not

1038
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 1: model name, but the style name, whatever the blouse is called.

1039
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: And or I'll put in the description of the blouse.

1040
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: I know the brand. I'll put in the description of

1041
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: the blouse. This is if I'm in store, and then go,

1042
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 1: oh no, it's cheaper on this website. They're having a

1043
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: crazy sale. I'm gonna just get it here.

1044
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 2: Yes.

1045
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, So if you're already doing that, you sometimes I will,

1046
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 1: but I was, But I'm like, is it worth it?

1047
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 1: Because I feel like there are people who value a discount,

1048
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: and there are people who value their time. People were

1049
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 1: trying to save time, other people were trying to get

1050
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 1: the best deal, and I'm like, should I become a.

1051
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:44,440
Speaker 2: Person You're in New Yorker, so you value time. Yeah,

1052
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 2: so I think you have to go with the time efficient.

1053
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, everything, okay, all right, thank you Dad. You

1054
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:52,520
Speaker 1: were worried you were going to have the tools to

1055
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 1: give me advice.

1056
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna be some serious shit.

1057
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 1: Now, I mean I can make it some serious shit.

1058
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 2: Hang on, that's complicated. No, they didn't have a conversation

1059
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: with that man about what they're gonna do about that baby.

1060
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 2: You just can't me.

1061
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: Being like my advice is, so let me tell you

1062
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 1: what's going on. Thank you so much, Roy, appreciate you

1063
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: being here.

1064
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thanks