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Speaker 1: Buckal up, hold on tight, drawberry, let up, thank enough. Subject.

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Speaker 1: My mind says no, but my body says yes. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I am in desperate need of advice. I

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Speaker 1: am a thirty year old female and I am still

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Speaker 1: a virgin. I grew up in the church and I

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Speaker 1: was taught to wait until marriage before sharing that part

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Speaker 1: of myself. Somebody want to get that, Yeah, somebody want

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Speaker 1: to get that. I believe that if I did, the

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Speaker 1: Lord would send me a husband. But now here I

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Speaker 1: am thirty years old, still single, and wondering if I

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Speaker 1: am just being naive. All of my friends who started

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Speaker 1: having sex in their teenage years are all married. I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to think that they did things the right way.

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Speaker 1: I've dated a lot of guys, but whatever, whenever things

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Speaker 1: get physical, I would pump the brakes. Am I crazy

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Speaker 1: to believe that there's a man out there there wait

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Speaker 1: for me till marriage. Maybe I should start having sex

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Speaker 1: and just follow your ninety day rule. She's talking about you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: I have a friend that use your ninety day rule,

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Speaker 1: and now she's engaged with all of the sexy pictures

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Speaker 1: and videos and social media. The pressure is on me

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Speaker 1: to have sex. I honestly don't know if I can

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Speaker 1: wait any longer. My mind is telling me no, but

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Speaker 1: my body is saying yes. I feel like I'm on

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Speaker 1: I feel like, um, I'm on an island by myself

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Speaker 1: and I'll never get a man this way. Mr Harvey,

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Speaker 1: I know you're good at giving advice and love and sex,

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Speaker 1: So can you give me some guidance should I do

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Speaker 1: it or not? I got just gotta tell you, first

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Speaker 1: of all, congratulations on still being a virgin at thirty

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Speaker 1: years old. I mean, in these days and times, that

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Speaker 1: is really unheard of. It really is. Uh. Yeah. The

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Speaker 1: crazy part is if you're a Christian and you believe

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Speaker 1: in the Bible and everything and what it says, you

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Speaker 1: are the one that's right. I mean, you know, we

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Speaker 1: gotta tell it like it is. The Bible teachers that

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Speaker 1: sex should be between a husband and a wife. So no,

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Speaker 1: you're not being naive. Uh, You're doing what's morally and

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Speaker 1: biblically sound. And oftentimes you will be on an island

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Speaker 1: by yourself because most people, yes, are getting it in.

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Speaker 1: They are on a regular basis, daily basis, all the time.

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Speaker 1: So you feel like you should jump in because everybody

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Speaker 1: else is doing it. You feel that pressure, but you

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Speaker 1: know that's not a good enough reason. You know, if

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Speaker 1: you're a Christian, you gotta stick up for your principles

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Speaker 1: and what you believe in. Don't let the world change

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Speaker 1: who you are. You gotta believe in God, you gotta

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Speaker 1: trust him, and you gotta wait on him. Steve, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is a really, really hard letter to advice because

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Speaker 1: our conflicting views. Here. To be honest with you, She's

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Speaker 1: a desperate needer. She's thirty year old, she's still a virgin,

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Speaker 1: grew up in the church, talked to wait before marriage

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Speaker 1: before sharing that part of myself, and she believed she did.

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Speaker 1: God was sending her husband was She's thirty years old.

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Speaker 1: Now all her friends started having sex and their teenage

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Speaker 1: isn't married. I'm starting to think they did the right thing.

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Speaker 1: Am I crazy to believe that there's a man out

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Speaker 1: there and will wait for me till marriage? All right,

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Speaker 1: let's start addressing some of these things. All my friends

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Speaker 1: having sex and their teenagers they are all married. Uh,

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Speaker 1: it can work, it can backfire. As Shirley said, technically

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Speaker 1: you're doing it the correct way. It's just that we

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Speaker 1: don't live in a correct world, and so we all

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Speaker 1: succumb to worldly things from time to time. We are

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Speaker 1: all born as sinners. That's what we do, all of us,

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Speaker 1: and so we're all guilty of it. So who am

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Speaker 1: I to tell you to stop doing it the right

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Speaker 1: way and do it like everybody else? Is it? Am

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Speaker 1: I crazy to believe that there's a man out there

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Speaker 1: that will wait for me to match. God can send

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Speaker 1: you anything, but the average man is not. Period. It's

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Speaker 1: really funny because last week I did a show before

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Speaker 1: the season and for my talk show, I did a

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Speaker 1: show where I had half audience single men, half for

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Speaker 1: these single women. I set them in a split, so

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Speaker 1: the women want one side. This one girl that I

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Speaker 1: was trying to really help, the attractive year old twenty

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Speaker 1: eight year old black girl, really attractive girl to care

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Speaker 1: of herself. She was looking for a man. So the

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Speaker 1: guy wanted to introduce her to was on one of

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Speaker 1: my dating shows. Turns out to this guy was bisexual,

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Speaker 1: so that wasn't gonna work, and the way we found

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Speaker 1: out was in a really shocking way. Right, So she's

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Speaker 1: not interested in dating a guy that is by right,

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Speaker 1: So I had another guy in mind. So when I

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Speaker 1: had the women stand up to say what they were

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Speaker 1: looking for, like if they had A woman would stand

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Speaker 1: up and I would say, do you on a man

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Speaker 1: who has kids? She'll say less than two kids? Anybody

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Speaker 1: with more than two kids can sit down. You know,

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Speaker 1: we were eliminating in that way. You follow what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So then I said, what's the other requirement? This woman said,

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Speaker 1: standing up in front of an audience, feeling half man,

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Speaker 1: I will not have sex with a man until I'm married.

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Speaker 1: So if you're wanting sex, you can sit down. Let

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Speaker 1: me sit down. You weren't there every man? Every man

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Speaker 1: on that set up? I believe it. And she went,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, are you guys serious? And I went, lady,

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Speaker 1: hold on, you cannot meet a man day one and

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Speaker 1: tell this man you're not having no sex. You can't

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Speaker 1: drop that information on a man until you all have

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Speaker 1: been dating for a minute, that some heavy interest going on,

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Speaker 1: dependentant got to a point where they're starting to rub

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Speaker 1: and touch the stuff. Then you gotta break it to him.

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Speaker 1: There he's already got to feel something for you. You

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Speaker 1: can't go day one. I'm I'm looking for a man

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Speaker 1: that don't want to have sex go who that Who

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Speaker 1: is that man that don't want to have sex? And

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Speaker 1: that's where she said, if you want to have sex,

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Speaker 1: you can sit down. Now, the whole room sat down.

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Speaker 1: She was disgusted with him, and I told us, as sister,

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Speaker 1: you went about this the wrong way. So are you

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Speaker 1: crazy to think that there's a believe that man will

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Speaker 1: wait for you and to marriage. No, you're not crazy,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of men are not. Let's just be honest.

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Speaker 1: Then you said, maybe I should start having sex and

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Speaker 1: just follow your ninety day rule. The reason I did

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Speaker 1: the ninety day rule because most people are not going

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Speaker 1: to not have sex, So at least let me give

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Speaker 1: you a little bit of room to find out more

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Speaker 1: about the man for you give yourself to him so

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Speaker 1: you can stop some of the major disappointments. After two weeks,

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Speaker 1: I finish up my response right after this, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: e the same. We're gonna have part two, which is

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Speaker 1: gonna be just like part thirty year old woman still

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Speaker 1: a virgin, thinking maybe she should start having sex because

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Speaker 1: all her girlfriends and has sex and they're married. Now,

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Speaker 1: am I crazy to believe that there's a man out

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Speaker 1: there who will wait for me? To marriage. No, you're

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Speaker 1: not crazy, but he's gonna have to be in love

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Speaker 1: with you first. That's my opinion. Maybe I should start

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Speaker 1: having sex and just follow your ninety day rule. I

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Speaker 1: put the ninety day rule in place so women can

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Speaker 1: stop having sex with me and on the first, second,

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Speaker 1: third date night and then find out later on the

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Speaker 1: stuff that you could have known that you took a

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Speaker 1: little bit of time to do your homework. It's just

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Speaker 1: a protective rule. Yeah, some woman thought that was too long. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now with all the sexy pictures and videos on social media,

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Speaker 1: the pressure me to have sex, the pressures on me

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Speaker 1: to have sex, that's true. Honestly, don't know if I

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Speaker 1: could wait any longer. My mind is telling me no,

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Speaker 1: but my body is saying yes. A little girl, let

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Speaker 1: me share so much my body. I've been saying yes

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Speaker 1: for sixty one years. Yeah, So so she don't seem

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Speaker 1: like she's the only one. This little girl. Honestly don't

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Speaker 1: know if she can wait any longer. Her mind is

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Speaker 1: telling her no, but her body is saying yes. Now,

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Speaker 1: little girl, I would love to tell you to hold

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Speaker 1: out and stay strong. And if it's about your faith,

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Speaker 1: didn't you should is it going to be difficult. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it is my mind. I'm saying, mind is telling me no,

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Speaker 1: but my body screaming yes. We don't really want to sing.

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Speaker 1: I can sing the thing. One time man said, I'm

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Speaker 1: keeps telling me no, but my body. Yeah it's stupid.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, come on. You know when your body's talking

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Speaker 1: to you can tell Oh yeah, I'm making out. Hey

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Speaker 1: did you see that helping this young lady? Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: not right now, you're singing Chales, that's all I'm here right, No, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell this little girl. She's

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Speaker 1: thirty years old. Listen, here's a deal. You gotta follow

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Speaker 1: your heart, yes, right, you gotta do what's best in

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Speaker 1: your heart. I can I tell you to stop doing

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Speaker 1: the way you're doing it, because that may not be

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Speaker 1: the answer. If you've trusted God this far. The only

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Speaker 1: way that to see what God got for you and

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Speaker 1: get to the end results is you got to see

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Speaker 1: it through now. If you switch courses right now, that

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Speaker 1: may not be what God wants you to do. You're

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Speaker 1: in a tough position. It's so hard. You know, I

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Speaker 1: wrote this book. But also let's let's just let's just

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Speaker 1: be honest. J would you wait? Hell no, Tommy, that's crazy,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know what a crazy? I can't wait

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Speaker 1: and I ain't got nobody can't wait. I'm about to

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Speaker 1: get ned soon. We could do with this. Shows how

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Speaker 1: much time we got for this week off. And like

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Speaker 1: you said, it's hard to me the man that's really

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Speaker 1: willing to wait. When you first say that at the gate,

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Speaker 1: and you say that at the gate, it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know, don't need me getting into this because this

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Speaker 1: is not what I want to do. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: promise you, once you start, you're not gonna stop. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I want to promise you that. But Steve, it's all

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Speaker 1: on her right to follow her heart. You know, heart,

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Speaker 1: My heart didn't lie to me many damn time. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It's a tough ladder man. I don't really

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Speaker 1: need what to say to her. I don't feel firm.

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Speaker 1: You know. I tried waiting. Yeah, so much money in waiting,

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Speaker 1: and it's just don't work out. What do you mean

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Speaker 1: there's so much money? Well, you put money in waiting,

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Speaker 1: you jumps just not gonna hang around and not spend

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Speaker 1: the money. There's dinners, there's movies, and there's ranting. You

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Speaker 1: buying couches and stuff like that, blind sending kids school money.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of money. We ain't done a damn

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Speaker 1: thing yet. And wait and I'm still waiting. No, no,

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Speaker 1: somebody need to tell me something. You need to get

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Speaker 1: somebody dining here to tell me something. And I'm waiting

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Speaker 1: on somebody. Ain't never done it before. You know what

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Speaker 1: you're doing in here talking. So you're supposed to be

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Speaker 1: the sensible one, but he is. Yeah, these two foods

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Speaker 1: right here, but we're gonna be mashing up against each

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Speaker 1: other real strong. Tommy, Yeah, Tommy, I was actually done that.

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Speaker 1: I've actually cut myself on the back of my zilp

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Speaker 1: too much. Your clothes gonna be real ranking. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: count all change in my pocket. And I was grinding

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Speaker 1: it so hard one time I cut myself on the

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Speaker 1: inside stitching of the gym. That's how hard I was

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Speaker 1: grind it. Used to call me Mr Coffee because I

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Speaker 1: grind so fine coffee, brother phogos, here comes Mr Folks.

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Speaker 1: Just yeah, I had one time. I'm telling you, one time, Steve,

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Speaker 1: I've actually ripped a pair of pain It just broke

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Speaker 1: out and told the stitches off to right out. Tore Parell,

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Speaker 1: what's up? What we're gonna do by this? It's been

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Speaker 1: an ugly situation from you don't have to do something.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have this. We got no all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: we gotta go, we gotta get out of here. Email

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Speaker 1: us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: at my Girl Shirley And thank you everyone who joined

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Speaker 1: me yesterday for Facebook Live The Strawberry Letter Live After Show.

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Speaker 1: We're getting more viewers and everything. I appreciate that. Guys,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show