Speaker 1: H Potomac season five, episode nine holds one of the
Speaker 1: craziest fights in all Housewives history between Candice and Monique.
Speaker 1: Drinks are flying, hair is being pulled, people are bleeding.
Speaker 1: Actress singer, Broadway star, Potomac super fan and author of
Speaker 1: her new book I'm no Philosopher, but I Got thoughts,
Speaker 1: Christian Channowith is diving in deep to dissect this episode.
Speaker 1: This is the Real Housewives of Potomac Season five, episode nine,
Speaker 1: the tipping point. So this is unique because, um, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen all series, like I I when I left.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll watch occasionally, but I'm not this avid
Speaker 1: fan across. It's hard. It would be hard to keep
Speaker 1: up with all of them. I bet your loyal to brands.
Speaker 1: You're loyal to certain uh franchise cities, and I hear
Speaker 1: that this is one of them. Oh yeah, that you're loyal,
Speaker 1: But are you loyal to all or this is? Like
Speaker 1: this is your ride or die? Um my rider die
Speaker 1: is uh Beverly Hills. Well not right now, that's the name.
Speaker 1: My writer die is Utah. Oh wow, okay, I mean
Speaker 1: what attracts you to a particular city. I think the
Speaker 1: combination of the energy of the women. So um, okay,
Speaker 1: so this show you will be more of an expert
Speaker 1: than I will. But I found this episode. You know
Speaker 1: you haven't been on rewives and we haven't. We share
Speaker 1: a publicist, and I'm sure she told you this show
Speaker 1: is not about the housewives. The show is about the
Speaker 1: conversations with these episodes as vehicles. So this particular episode
Speaker 1: that we chose of Potomac, there are so many conversations
Speaker 1: to be had. And as I watched the episode, because
Speaker 1: I've never seen it and I know that you have,
Speaker 1: I texted Candy Burst from Atlanta and said, will you
Speaker 1: come on in the middle of my podcast for ten
Speaker 1: minutes because there's a topic that I don't think two
Speaker 1: white women can have an accurate perspective and insight on.
Speaker 1: So this morning I was watching the episode because you know,
Speaker 1: I do homework for this, and I said, interesting, I
Speaker 1: think I want to call. I texted Candy and said
Speaker 1: I and she just came in blind. She said, I
Speaker 1: don't watch the show. I saw the clips, but sure,
Speaker 1: so we'll get into that and I'll get more specific
Speaker 1: to the audience understands. But for the first time ever,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have an actual housewife on the show,
Speaker 1: because I just really did not feel like I cannot
Speaker 1: know what it would feel like to be a black
Speaker 1: woman in this particular experience that happens on this episode.
Speaker 1: And now I think it's a great episode to discuss.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you did that, Bethany, because I too have
Speaker 1: a couple of thoughts and opinions and questions about the episode.
Speaker 1: And one of the reasons I'm glad it's Candy because
Speaker 1: one of the reasons I watched in Land is her.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting. Okay, well I don't know if you've met her,
Speaker 1: but you'll meet her today. Okay. So that's an extra treat.
Speaker 1: And it just literally was an impromptu text this morning
Speaker 1: while watching this this this episode. Okay, so this is
Speaker 1: the Real Housewives of Potomac. So many of you have
Speaker 1: seen it, many of you have not. I had not.
Speaker 1: This is a conversation through which the show is a vehicle.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna end up talking about issues that don't
Speaker 1: have to have to do with these particular women or
Speaker 1: the Housewives or Bravo. So this show is in Potomac
Speaker 1: and these women are at a vineyard, I guess, and
Speaker 1: they're all talking and they're standing up, and my first
Speaker 1: impression was, what a beautiful group of women, you know,
Speaker 1: like I just it was a beautiful group of women.
Speaker 1: And you know, I've watched Orange County and Orange County.
Speaker 1: To me, if I had to describe it, it's very
Speaker 1: it can be very authentic, and it can get really messy,
Speaker 1: like it's a messy show. And Atlanta is half messy
Speaker 1: to me, like it can be really polished and then
Speaker 1: then then really messy. And Jersey is fairly messy to
Speaker 1: New York is a hybrid Beverly Hills. They don't really
Speaker 1: act that messy, even they might be because they have
Speaker 1: to act like they're very rich and above that. And
Speaker 1: even though there are Lisa, Rinna and and Kim moments.
Speaker 1: So I'm watching the show and I'm thinking, everybody's so
Speaker 1: mature and having such you know, intelligent conversations and taking
Speaker 1: the right side of things, and they all get along
Speaker 1: so well. I'm thinking is I'm thinking, Wow, they all
Speaker 1: really seem to like each other. And one woman, Um Ashley,
Speaker 1: is married to what I think is an Australian man.
Speaker 1: It seems like a wealthy Australian man based on the
Speaker 1: Green Up discussion. I can't tell if they're married or not,
Speaker 1: but yes, you're right. Well, okay, so it seems And
Speaker 1: by the way this is I may get hate for this,
Speaker 1: but you know, the women seem like hot and together
Speaker 1: and the men seemed to me a little schlubby. So
Speaker 1: this guy, I I am hearing an argument between not
Speaker 1: an argument, I'm hearing a discussion, a very calm, rational
Speaker 1: discussion between Ashley and these other women about the fact
Speaker 1: that are partner life partner was caught in a room
Speaker 1: on camera and his underwear with a woman, and she
Speaker 1: knows about it, and she's sort of going to forgive him,
Speaker 1: and she wants to have a post up drawn up
Speaker 1: and if he does this again then it will really
Speaker 1: be the end. But she has had trists with women
Speaker 1: coming into the relationship before, and they all have this
Speaker 1: very adult conversation where everybody understands each other, and it
Speaker 1: seems like a really interesting issue to deal with. Yes,
Speaker 1: I agree, especially you know, first of all, we must learn,
Speaker 1: if not now, then when you cannot judge a book
Speaker 1: by its cover, so you wouldn't think looking at her,
Speaker 1: oh they're in a three way. But also just because
Speaker 1: a woman says that's okay with me. I agree to that.
Speaker 1: That's okay with me, And then she changes her mind
Speaker 1: after her children are born and says, you know what,
Speaker 1: it's not working. From many I actually love the way
Speaker 1: she handles herself with this situation. She woke up one
Speaker 1: day and said, I've had these two kids. I don't
Speaker 1: think I want to do that anymore with my with
Speaker 1: my partner, I want it to be just him and
Speaker 1: him and me. And I think the reason she's wanting
Speaker 1: to forgive him and the ladies are having trouble with that,
Speaker 1: some of them is because she knew what she agreed to,
Speaker 1: and now she's asking him to change, and so we're
Speaker 1: going to see if he can. She's willing to say,
Speaker 1: I want to give it a chance, you know, I
Speaker 1: want to see And sometimes women, it's so interesting. We're
Speaker 1: supposed to be each other's ally, right, instead of what
Speaker 1: are you saying you can't do that? How about she
Speaker 1: wants to make it work? And so interesting much who
Speaker 1: are we to do? Okay? So a couple five different
Speaker 1: things came up in my mind. The first thought that
Speaker 1: I had was to prove your point that you made.
Speaker 1: You're a woman of faith, which doesn't mean that you,
Speaker 1: you know, walked out of the show because you saw
Speaker 1: that a woman had been with another woman and a man.
Speaker 1: You may not live your life that way or choose
Speaker 1: to live your life that way. And maybe you do,
Speaker 1: and maybe you have your own you know, your your
Speaker 1: relationship with God and how you run your own life
Speaker 1: and your own faith. But you are not one of
Speaker 1: these Twitter But you know Box saying you're wrong and
Speaker 1: being judgmental about this woman who has been okay with
Speaker 1: another woman coming into their relationship, and also who isn't
Speaker 1: nailing her husband to the cross for being in a
Speaker 1: room with a woman, being in a room in his
Speaker 1: underwear with another woman when we haven't walked in her
Speaker 1: shoes and we don't know all the ingredients to that dish.
Speaker 1: That's right, what it like? I said, Many couples have agreements, Okay,
Speaker 1: my my man and I have an agreement that hey,
Speaker 1: if one of those cheats, it's over. Okay, that's our deal.
Speaker 1: But I don't know Ashley and her partner's day to day.
Speaker 1: They clearly made agreement. She had no trouble sharing. It
Speaker 1: should no trouble sharing what that agreement was, and now
Speaker 1: it's changed okay, him to change. Okay. Also, also there's
Speaker 1: another character in this story, which is the show. So
Speaker 1: now you're bringing this onto a show, and sometimes you're
Speaker 1: reacting how you truthfully react if you're a really great
Speaker 1: house if it's challenging to do. But sometimes you're also
Speaker 1: reacting in a way because you're also talking to us
Speaker 1: the audience. You're talking to your partner, you're talking to
Speaker 1: some girls that are judging about it, and you're talking
Speaker 1: to the audience. But understand that women on this particular show,
Speaker 1: and we'll get into the housewives overall, and is this
Speaker 1: okay in the grand scheme and pop culture what these
Speaker 1: shows bring out in women. But when you're on these shows,
Speaker 1: it's a zero sum games. Somebody's always winning and somebody's
Speaker 1: always losing. So having this sort of a gem for
Speaker 1: all the other women, it's like a feeding frenzy. It's
Speaker 1: like they're coming like parasites onto the main host to
Speaker 1: like rip it it, tear at it. And Ashley handled
Speaker 1: it perfectly because whether it's exactly what's going on in
Speaker 1: her relationship or what she did as a character on
Speaker 1: a show, she walked in and she cut it off
Speaker 1: at the pass, just like Danielle when the table got fliped,
Speaker 1: she walked in, was like, Hi, here's the book about
Speaker 1: me being arrested. She walked in and as she walked in,
Speaker 1: was like, Hi, it's on the table. Here it is.
Speaker 1: Let's get into it. And it cleared, which is shocking it.
Speaker 1: I thought so too, because I've seen it when it
Speaker 1: don't clear, like you just mentioned Denise Richards and did
Speaker 1: Brandy Glanville did not clear. It did not clear, and
Speaker 1: Carol Radswell book did not clear. You're so right, Oh,
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. It's cleared fast not And because
Speaker 1: she nippick at the budge to care it right then,
Speaker 1: and and notice how she kept her calm. Yes, she
Speaker 1: didn't take the bait. He did not, and boy did
Speaker 1: is that? Hey, that's a lesson for all of us
Speaker 1: when when you are being challenged with something that is
Speaker 1: your authentic true And I believe it is her authentic truth.
Speaker 1: Just because I watched the show from the beginning and
Speaker 1: I kind of saw how the relationship. I got a
Speaker 1: good gut instinct about her. I don't know anything. I
Speaker 1: liked it a lot. I did with you. I'm with you,
Speaker 1: but you're right, it's a lesson of how to handle
Speaker 1: yourself in business and a meeting and a conflict is
Speaker 1: when you learn your greatest lessons. Like it's it's when
Speaker 1: you're it's when the heat is on. It's like you
Speaker 1: gotta not gripped that steering wheel too tight and you
Speaker 1: can't let go. You gotta just maneuver the vehicle, which
Speaker 1: is what she was doing. And I thought it was fascinating.
Speaker 1: But the other conversation that we can have is that
Speaker 1: I agree with what you said. In the beginning, relationships
Speaker 1: evolved and change. I'm in a long distance relationship. In
Speaker 1: the beginning, we strangled the calendar. We wanted every single
Speaker 1: box to be filled with us being together every single
Speaker 1: time we could. It was perfect math. Every minute I
Speaker 1: can get there, you could get here. Well, business got
Speaker 1: in the way, My daughter got in the way. Wanting
Speaker 1: to lay and stare at the ceiling and and not
Speaker 1: go anywhere got in the way, and we ended up
Speaker 1: evolving as to what we had as a formula that
Speaker 1: had to work. We could only work if we like
Speaker 1: glued it all together. And we evolved and we became
Speaker 1: more mature and realized we like time alone and we
Speaker 1: like our own lives and our lives together and our
Speaker 1: lives and our own kids, like it became a new recipe.
Speaker 1: And what can I just say? I mean, I have
Speaker 1: followed your journey and I don't know. I only know
Speaker 1: what the public sees. So you know, God bless you
Speaker 1: a he Gods be the most important thing that you've
Speaker 1: done with your life. And you know, I don't want
Speaker 1: to get into it too much because I have too
Speaker 1: much respect for you to talk about your child, but
Speaker 1: to watch her grow just like a public I just
Speaker 1: watched her and be such it so just darling, and
Speaker 1: you're obviously a good mom. But it brings up the
Speaker 1: question of how much are these women in potomach and
Speaker 1: all of them willing to show the real That's the
Speaker 1: question you brought up, which I like, is how much
Speaker 1: are they willing to be? Like when I hear in
Speaker 1: a re union. I don't know if I'm getting off
Speaker 1: topic here, but no, no, this is this is a
Speaker 1: show about the whole experience, Like it's not about Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not about these particular women only when I hear
Speaker 1: in a in a reunion, Well, you know, in the
Speaker 1: scene you were it wasn't what was supposed to be
Speaker 1: about I get so mad because as an actor, and
Speaker 1: pardon me, I hope this isn't as an actor, I'm thinking, No, y'all,
Speaker 1: scenes is when the dialogue is written. You memorize that
Speaker 1: you have your intention, you know why you're moving there,
Speaker 1: you have relationships, you dig deep about character. That's not
Speaker 1: what y'all are doing. So but it's funny that you
Speaker 1: say that because it started off and I'm not kidding
Speaker 1: you because I've been through. I was there, and I
Speaker 1: talked about this all the time when we were doing
Speaker 1: our own makeup, sitting at our own ugly clothes, and
Speaker 1: watched it evolve into coming back after leaving three seasons,
Speaker 1: and people had glam squads up in the Berkshires, when who,
Speaker 1: no one's in the Berkshires. We're not seeing anyone. So
Speaker 1: then I started watching Denise Richards come in in shorts,
Speaker 1: which is normal on a vacation and you've gone with
Speaker 1: the end ball gowns. But but she I keep up
Speaker 1: because she has to go that way because otherwise she's
Speaker 1: gonna look like a frump because they're all wearing so
Speaker 1: so the worm turned because there were five housewives when
Speaker 1: I started, ten housewives when I started another have been
Speaker 1: a hundred and forty five, So we didn't have I
Speaker 1: never heard the term storyline. I even used my self
Speaker 1: term character. We never had character, and we didn't say
Speaker 1: a scene because it's it was. It just wasn't that.
Speaker 1: It was really more real. And that's why you know,
Speaker 1: me and Kelly with I'm up here, yere down here
Speaker 1: was a subtle moment because it wasn't this giant produced
Speaker 1: thing and that self produced. It's just it's a combination
Speaker 1: of the producers have to have to elevate the game,
Speaker 1: and the women have come in with a preconceived notion
Speaker 1: because they've seen all the other episodes of all the
Speaker 1: other shows before they go on were they're going to.
Speaker 1: When I hear the word agenda, she had an agenda,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm stay to see that. And then when
Speaker 1: I hear the word storyline, as you brought up, the
Speaker 1: irritates me because I'm like, wait, am I getting played? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But but Bethany yet yet? I still watch. And because
Speaker 1: it's a combination hybrid, because I'm an actress actor, I
Speaker 1: do know when I'm being played too, So I just
Speaker 1: go along with it until I get until I get
Speaker 1: to the real stuff. And one of the reasons why
Speaker 1: I like Salt Lake City is because I'm not seeing
Speaker 1: or hearing those kinds of words. Well, that's why when
Speaker 1: I say that Orange County is messy and Jersey is messy,
Speaker 1: it's because it's not self produced. Beverly Hills is self produced.
Speaker 1: I've seen it. I've been there. They're controlling themselves. They're
Speaker 1: really concerned about how to play the game and manipulating
Speaker 1: the system because they can, because they have massive houses
Speaker 1: and great bags and can get away with a lot
Speaker 1: of logos and things like that to to to drive it.
Speaker 1: And but it will always catch up with you. What
Speaker 1: I mean is something will always happened on you. Well,
Speaker 1: it turns on you. But also the story will always
Speaker 1: come through and something will end up happening, and so
Speaker 1: the game starts to move too fast. You can't really
Speaker 1: control this car that long. You can try for certain
Speaker 1: moments that you're sensing on camera, but you can't. You
Speaker 1: can't control this whole process. It just doesn't work. It will.
Speaker 1: It will drive you, so don't worry. It all comes out.
Speaker 1: But but the messier shows are the ones where the
Speaker 1: people like Teresa or Nani or Vicky. The people that
Speaker 1: I put on my Mount Rushmore, the people that I
Speaker 1: put on my Mount Rushmore are not because they're perfect
Speaker 1: and not because everybody might like them the most. It's
Speaker 1: because they really were just real and not so for
Speaker 1: being true authentic. Right, even Porsche who's a phenomenal housewife,
Speaker 1: it's very like elaborate and very glamorous and it's not
Speaker 1: the same. So that's just my definition of a Rushmore. Um,
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. So now you go into that
Speaker 1: word mom shame and it wasn't even correctly used, but
Speaker 1: I did understand the meaning. Um uh. It was Monique,
Speaker 1: who Who's Monique said to Candice, you wouldn't understand because
Speaker 1: you don't have kids, those throwaway comments that you're dissing
Speaker 1: someone else it doesn't have kids, which is like age shaming.
Speaker 1: It was. It was like reverse mom shaming. I would
Speaker 1: call it. I thought it was below the bell. I
Speaker 1: did say. I didn't. I don't have children, but I
Speaker 1: have kids that I mentor and that means something to
Speaker 1: me and that I have an opinion on because I
Speaker 1: helped raise them. Okay, and I can have an opinion.
Speaker 1: You don't have to have a child to get you
Speaker 1: were a child. Like you know what I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: can have an opinion on something that that that you
Speaker 1: don't directly experience. But it was also even if you
Speaker 1: didn't have an even if even if a person who's
Speaker 1: not a mom doesn't exactly you understand, that's a dig.
Speaker 1: It's a dig. It was like a z and someone
Speaker 1: can't control it either. It's like calling someone ugly because
Speaker 1: there's nothing you could do, like they are saying your
Speaker 1: teeth and it's just so mean because it's like there's
Speaker 1: nothing to say to it. Now we gotta now we
Speaker 1: get again into it. So everybody's calm and rational about
Speaker 1: you know, about having three ways and men and their
Speaker 1: underwear with with women in in in the room and
Speaker 1: what was it a hooker? Is that we're yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean they're not they're not saying that, but they allude
Speaker 1: to that that it's a hooker. And we this girl,
Speaker 1: this this person, what sold the pictures? Granted him out.
Speaker 1: That's what happened she did, Okay, that's what That's what
Speaker 1: Ashley is saying that she she she knew what she
Speaker 1: was doing with her husband. The lady knew what she
Speaker 1: was doing. Okay, Well, great. Of course nothing to do
Speaker 1: with him, and of course he's guilt free. But I mean,
Speaker 1: let's not forget that. No, Okay, So I'm I'm so
Speaker 1: impressed by the rationale here and everybody's so mature, and
Speaker 1: then the ship goes sideways. So I I mean, we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about this normally, but it's not even
Speaker 1: supposed to be talked about normally because it's totally so
Speaker 1: unacceptable for women to be acting this way. And we're
Speaker 1: gonna get Candy on in a minute to talk about this,
Speaker 1: but let's just get started. So Monique the way, the
Speaker 1: way that I saw it is that Monique is in
Speaker 1: Candice's face, but they're both taunting each other. I don't
Speaker 1: I see it like they're poking each other for sure
Speaker 1: right there too, Like you know they're they're poking each other,
Speaker 1: and she says, what do you want to drag me?
Speaker 1: Like they know they're on TV, they know they're in
Speaker 1: a scene, they know it's getting crazy, and they really
Speaker 1: are like intoxicated by the wine, by the scene, by
Speaker 1: the moment, and it's just it's just it's just escalating. Right,
Speaker 1: So Monique was holding onto Candice's hair. They didn't seem
Speaker 1: to be able to let go and what like why
Speaker 1: because it was that's like the competition was right there,
Speaker 1: like they were holding on. Get the feeling. And I
Speaker 1: could be wrong, but I get the feeling. Monique, that's
Speaker 1: one not to cross. Here's what I thought. Here's what
Speaker 1: I thought. And I could be saying this all wrong.
Speaker 1: Candice is is this cute little pageant girl and very
Speaker 1: very smart by the way, and she's probably doing the scene.
Speaker 1: This is what I gathered him. She was the scene
Speaker 1: and I think Monique went, hey, the scene is done
Speaker 1: like I've never seen. I've never seen that on all
Speaker 1: of the Housewives. I've seen Ninie, I've seen say, I've
Speaker 1: seen Kim Zolziac with with that. We've situation in the
Speaker 1: street with I think it was I don't know who
Speaker 1: was pulling each other's hair, but like this was I've
Speaker 1: seen him n I think right, I've seen that situation
Speaker 1: in the closet with Nini and the camera guys, and
Speaker 1: I've seen Ramona with the wine glass and Kim Richards
Speaker 1: and Lisa Renna with the wine glass and it was
Speaker 1: next level. Yeah, because of the because of them, the repeat,
Speaker 1: she wanted to go back Here's what I thought when
Speaker 1: I saw it, Um, she's going to go back. I
Speaker 1: don't think Monique felt like she was being heard. And
Speaker 1: then I think Candice in the background, you'd hear her
Speaker 1: still name calling when they're pulled apart. I mean, they're
Speaker 1: both doing it, but Monique is standing in the hallway,
Speaker 1: you know, she's standing in the hallway waiting and listening
Speaker 1: with the producer, and Candice is still call her name.
Speaker 1: And that's what Monique was gonna leave, and she still
Speaker 1: hears Candice. Candice is still calling her name, and that's why.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if she was going to go
Speaker 1: to hit her or anything. I think she just wanted
Speaker 1: to still have that Hey listen, I can still hear you.
Speaker 1: And I also think she probably wanted to be on camera, like,
Speaker 1: do y'all hear this? Do y'all hear this? Does that
Speaker 1: make say? It does? Now? I heard that they sued
Speaker 1: each other, which is a joke because they both it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: And also I don't even think that's allowed in your contract.
Speaker 1: I think, like you can't sue someone else, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Anybody can do anything, body for anything. And
Speaker 1: I also I heard that they sued each other, but
Speaker 1: I heard that um Monique ended up. And this is
Speaker 1: the thing. Sometimes people apologize not because it's what they
Speaker 1: thought was wrong in the moment, it's because of how
Speaker 1: the audience reacted, which is a positive about the show
Speaker 1: because someone gets to really reflect on how most people
Speaker 1: would see your behavior. So I guess the audience if
Speaker 1: they're like you, and I reacted that and it's not
Speaker 1: fair because both of them were so wrong, but Monique
Speaker 1: took it to another level something. Yeah, this is when
Speaker 1: your mother tells you your whole life or your father,
Speaker 1: whoever says, how you react is going to be character telling.
Speaker 1: And in the beginning of Potomac, one of my favorites
Speaker 1: was Monique. One of my favorites was going to I
Speaker 1: liked everything about her. When that and Canvas kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, graded on me a little bit. It's horrible,
Speaker 1: but especially how how I've seen her grow and evolved.
Speaker 1: In that moment, for some reason, my opinion changed, and
Speaker 1: I felt badly because I thought Monique was the one
Speaker 1: I liked so much, and now I have this feeling
Speaker 1: about her that I don't I can't shake. I got
Speaker 1: over it because I saw her like reflect And I
Speaker 1: don't know if it was part of the shar or not,
Speaker 1: but I really feel like I saw her family come
Speaker 1: together and surround her. I loved that. I loved her
Speaker 1: husband coming to say. You know she could she snapped,
Speaker 1: and you know her husband protected her, and her husband
Speaker 1: said we will not do this name calling thing. And
Speaker 1: I love it when he said at the union, I
Speaker 1: play check not checkers. Well, thank you. I say that
Speaker 1: all the time. Well, it's funny that you said. So.
Speaker 1: People make mistakes all the time. And I was just
Speaker 1: talking to a business owner who made a big mistake,
Speaker 1: and um, I said to them, and I still don't
Speaker 1: think they handled the mistake properly. And I said, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm not immune to mistakes as a business owner. Anybody
Speaker 1: can make a mistake. How do you handle it? And
Speaker 1: I say this to my daughter all the time. You
Speaker 1: can be right and make yourself wrong so quickly you
Speaker 1: can be totally right and become wrong. So this jumped
Speaker 1: the shark. And I have never seen I've never seen
Speaker 1: women act like this. And how your parents told you
Speaker 1: to behave and you can't be an adult behaving in
Speaker 1: a way that you learned as a child. We're just
Speaker 1: not allowed. I acted the way that I saw at
Speaker 1: the race track. People think I'm abrasive now what I've
Speaker 1: lived through as a child, abuse and alcoholism and gambling
Speaker 1: in the race track is not fit, and I'd be
Speaker 1: I'd be right in there with the two of them,
Speaker 1: because I have gotten into fistifights of people in my life.
Speaker 1: I have. You know, I I know, and I hear
Speaker 1: you and I think where I struggle and this is
Speaker 1: where Candy can help help us talk about it is
Speaker 1: because I had a picture. The way Monique presented herself
Speaker 1: was class act. I do good for others, and I
Speaker 1: still think she does by the way I think she hear.
Speaker 1: Her heart's in the right place, I think. But when
Speaker 1: that happened, I started questioning my right. That was just
Speaker 1: pretend and the truth is the real. But back to
Speaker 1: being a parent or not being a parent. When you
Speaker 1: saw her in the scene really close after, when you
Speaker 1: saw her washing her cute, adorable daughter's hair in the
Speaker 1: sink with the husband who's the football player, you thought
Speaker 1: she's a mother. The first thought I had was you
Speaker 1: are a role model, and that you're even talking to
Speaker 1: your husband about this in front of your daughter, and
Speaker 1: they are sponges. So your daughter knows what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And there's a conversation in your house about you beating
Speaker 1: the ship out of another woman and you have a daughter,
Speaker 1: and like, how's that cycle not going to continue beyond?
Speaker 1: It was the worst one. It's the worst example to
Speaker 1: step for a child and her husband. You could tell
Speaker 1: he totally disagree with her. Even with her telling the
Speaker 1: story from her perspective, her husband disagreed, and I think
Speaker 1: you should have been even firmer, like absolutely not, no,
Speaker 1: thank you. That is unacceptable. You laid your hands on
Speaker 1: somebody else and that's unacceptable. So it's handy it, you know,
Speaker 1: Like that scene, to me, it was like he was
Speaker 1: letting her know on her show that it's not acceptable
Speaker 1: the way she behaved. Is Candy here, she's here, Okay, Hi, Candy, Hi,
Speaker 1: I love you. What's up? How y'all doing. I told
Speaker 1: Kristen that I was watching this episode that I know
Speaker 1: you haven't seen, but you've seen the clips, and I
Speaker 1: thought to myself, I have an opinion on what happened.
Speaker 1: I'm not blind. But the next scene that we're about
Speaker 1: to discuss in the next topic on the show, I
Speaker 1: don't have a clear opinion on. So what I was
Speaker 1: saying is that, you know, some of the messier shows
Speaker 1: like Orange County can get really messy, and Jersey to me,
Speaker 1: can get really messy. And Atlanta is half messy, half
Speaker 1: half messy and half like the Beverly Hills polish where
Speaker 1: people are you know, fronting and stunted. No, but sometimes
Speaker 1: I think, like I think like Nini was messy, but Porscha,
Speaker 1: you know, it's all the beautiful gone with the wind,
Speaker 1: you know, dresses in the can. You like, there's just
Speaker 1: a different vibe. Meaning I find that Orange County they'll
Speaker 1: just say absolutely anything at all times, and I feel
Speaker 1: like Atlanta is always my favorite, but it can be
Speaker 1: messy and it can be polished. So I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: the show, and they're different. You know, Beverly Hills is
Speaker 1: usually trying to be polished, but there have been glasses
Speaker 1: thrown and and and there have been messy moments, but
Speaker 1: I have not yet seen on The Housewives a scene
Speaker 1: this messy. So there's a moment where a woman, Ashley's husband,
Speaker 1: is caught in a room with what seems to be
Speaker 1: a prostitute, and everybody's so rational and mature talking about it,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, these women are so polished and
Speaker 1: like just rational. And the next minute, the next minute,
Speaker 1: this woman Monique and Candice are literally ripping each other
Speaker 1: worse than the Charay Kim Nini, like, worse than the
Speaker 1: closet at Nini's house, ripping hold, ripping each other's hair out,
Speaker 1: holding onto each other like two men in a fight
Speaker 1: in an alley, like not like in say but and
Speaker 1: so I just want to ject this though, Candy, I
Speaker 1: think that what I saw is I thought, really Monique
Speaker 1: not letting go. I mean, I think at one point
Speaker 1: I said, definitely, okay, Yeah, it was a hair pull basically,
Speaker 1: and she was popping her on the head while she
Speaker 1: was pulling her hair. But it was like, really one
Speaker 1: person was fighting, the other person was really trying to
Speaker 1: get loose. Oh she was. She wasn't holding on too,
Speaker 1: she was trying to get okay. And then Monique wanted
Speaker 1: to go back in for seconds, that's she wanted to go.
Speaker 1: That wasn't enough, and she had a bloody lip and
Speaker 1: she wanted to go back in. Candy, and I said,
Speaker 1: then she's in the kitchen and her husband is effectively
Speaker 1: letting her know it's that is unacceptable. And she's got
Speaker 1: a daughter that she's washing her daughter's hair having this conversation,
Speaker 1: and it's so clear to me this is such a
Speaker 1: bad example. So that's like where we are right now,
Speaker 1: and we all disagree. Okay, So yeah, I mean but
Speaker 1: as far as like and and I I agree with
Speaker 1: you about what happened, as far as like, you know,
Speaker 1: it was a bad example or whatever. But what I
Speaker 1: don't agree on it. I feel I feel like there
Speaker 1: have been other examples on other shows kind of like
Speaker 1: you know, on Jersey with the Fight, they've had all
Speaker 1: out brawls where everybody's jumping in or table flips and
Speaker 1: you know, they really looked like they were trying to
Speaker 1: get at each other. But to me, like this one, yeah,
Speaker 1: she got drugs. Same thing on our show went the
Speaker 1: year that Porsche grabbed um Kenyan snatched her and drug
Speaker 1: her across the floor basically by her. Okay, I forgot okay, right,
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. I forgot about that. And also
Speaker 1: I guess what it was was that first of all,
Speaker 1: I sort of give women more credit than men for
Speaker 1: the fight. So at the christening or it was I
Speaker 1: think it was a christening or it was a It
Speaker 1: was a bunch of men like in a brawl and
Speaker 1: other people getting involved like you see in a movie
Speaker 1: fight or Jerry Spring as I talked about it, Um
Speaker 1: this the intensity and such a close proximity was what
Speaker 1: was really like riveting to me. It was just so
Speaker 1: like tight and you could see it definitely was hurting.
Speaker 1: It just felt very It felt very intense to me
Speaker 1: versus like just like sloppy. You know that her Yeah,
Speaker 1: she had on a wig and then like it probably
Speaker 1: was hurting because I'm sure getting your your wig ripped off.
Speaker 1: So the reason on the show, Candy, it's not really
Speaker 1: about the episode, it's about the topic. So the reason
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you is because Wendy is
Speaker 1: saying that she's fighting so black women can have a
Speaker 1: seat at the table, and you fought so hard to
Speaker 1: have a seat at the table and be respected. And
Speaker 1: this was a conversation with the Will Smith slap. I'd
Speaker 1: never even thought of that aspect, but people were saying,
Speaker 1: you know, this is not good for black people when
Speaker 1: a man goes up and slap somebody, you know, on
Speaker 1: a stage, And obviously that wasn't my first thought at all.
Speaker 1: I didn't think of that. So that was a conversation.
Speaker 1: And then here this woman on the show is having
Speaker 1: this conversation saying, we thought so hard to have a
Speaker 1: seat at the table, and this is the opposite of
Speaker 1: what we want. And I thought to myself, well, sloppiness
Speaker 1: has happened. Arguments have happened on Orange County and and
Speaker 1: there's been at least throwing a glass And you know
Speaker 1: it's not it's not obviously relegated to black women. But
Speaker 1: if black women have fought so hard twice as hard
Speaker 1: to get to the same place, where do you stand
Speaker 1: on this? Like when you see this as a black
Speaker 1: woman and you see two black women on television, two smart,
Speaker 1: you know, beautiful women on the show that five minutes before,
Speaker 1: I'm like thinking how rational everyone is about this, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, three people in a relationship in this hooker situation.
Speaker 1: And then I go to this. I instantly thought I
Speaker 1: want to call Candy and get her take, because you
Speaker 1: don't really lose your cool that off, and you are smart,
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, so you speak because I mean if
Speaker 1: we also think about the year that, um, what was
Speaker 1: that that we at the slumber party and I told
Speaker 1: somebody I was gonna drag her or whatever. Um, There's
Speaker 1: definitely been moments where I definitely wanted to put my
Speaker 1: hands on somebody in the show. Really this season where
Speaker 1: we were filming, I wanted to put my hands somebody
Speaker 1: on the show. It hasn't come out yet, but I
Speaker 1: felt that way. But overall, I kind of feel like,
Speaker 1: as black people, the difference in us and you know
Speaker 1: everybody else, is like, black people do care about how
Speaker 1: we're perceived in public because we feel like how one
Speaker 1: represents as publicly affects everybody else. I think it's a
Speaker 1: lot different with no offense with you guys, And it's
Speaker 1: kind of like, if you know, two white women have
Speaker 1: a fight on you know, whatever show, you don't look
Speaker 1: at it and be like, oh, they're making all white
Speaker 1: people look bad. But with us, if we see two
Speaker 1: black women having a show, we're like, they're making black
Speaker 1: women look bad. And it's because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, it's like we we felt like for a
Speaker 1: very long time, we didn't have as many great representations
Speaker 1: or our stories being showed in a better light. You know,
Speaker 1: we were always looked at, you know, our representations that
Speaker 1: were on television for a long time was oh the ghetto,
Speaker 1: Oh the pimp, oh the you know, the gang person
Speaker 1: or the bad guy in the movie are We don't
Speaker 1: get the you know, representation of being the affluent or
Speaker 1: the you know, or the person that's the most educated
Speaker 1: or whatever for for a very long time. And so now, um,
Speaker 1: now that we are on television and now reality TV
Speaker 1: tends to show most of the negative you know, um,
Speaker 1: black people, we don't like that because overall, you know,
Speaker 1: we know that we get judged more more harshly than
Speaker 1: any other race typically. You know. I know before when
Speaker 1: I was first thinking of coming on the show a
Speaker 1: million years ago, Uh I remember, you know, I came
Speaker 1: in on season two, but season one had already played,
Speaker 1: and I was talking around a group of friends and
Speaker 1: I was saying, yeah, you know, they approached me about
Speaker 1: being on the Real Housewives, and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should do that show. That's a bad representation of
Speaker 1: black women, you know, all the stuff. And I said
Speaker 1: to them, I was like, well, if you think that
Speaker 1: that was a bad representation of black women, and you
Speaker 1: think I'm a good representation, why would you want me
Speaker 1: to do it? Exactly so. But overall, um, because you
Speaker 1: want to change you want to see on TV because
Speaker 1: you you've been seeing these characters as the gangster and
Speaker 1: the bad person and an intelligent person, and you want
Speaker 1: to be the change that you want to see on TV.
Speaker 1: So that's a great reason to be on TV for you. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I don't always you know, I mean, like I said,
Speaker 1: I don't always hit the bar. But overall, it's like
Speaker 1: you do want people to understand, like, okay, because if
Speaker 1: all you're seeing is oh, the angry black woman or
Speaker 1: this lady likes to fight or whatever. If that is
Speaker 1: the perception that the world is seeing on a regular
Speaker 1: basis of black women, then when it comes time to
Speaker 1: hire that person for a certain position, you're blue. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I want to hire because you know
Speaker 1: they are angry. Yeah, you don't want that, you know. So,
Speaker 1: and so I think that's why it's very important to
Speaker 1: black people to be represented well in the public eye
Speaker 1: because we know we always get you know, thrown in
Speaker 1: a bunch and judged by whatever. You know, the overall
Speaker 1: perception is a black people instead of just you know,
Speaker 1: judging each person by that person when you meet them,
Speaker 1: and when you so you said, so is do you
Speaker 1: have some sort of subconscious switch that you don't switch
Speaker 1: on when you said you wanted to put your hands
Speaker 1: on somebody? Are you? I mean, is that is this
Speaker 1: even possible for you to think this quickly in that moment?
Speaker 1: Or why didn't you go off? Um? I think sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes we click out, right, so where a
Speaker 1: person pushes out put buttons to the to the extent
Speaker 1: of you know, we lose it. Everybody has a moment
Speaker 1: where you lose it, right, But um, I think for me,
Speaker 1: it's like once the moment is over and you know,
Speaker 1: of course you know everybody's trying to break it up.
Speaker 1: But then I always tell myself, in like one instance
Speaker 1: this year, the one that I said hasn't come out yet,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm leaving. I'm not gonna stay here.
Speaker 1: In the scene after the argument happened and I said
Speaker 1: what I said, I was like, it's time for me
Speaker 1: to go because I know I'm already at that level
Speaker 1: of anger that if I stay it couldn't get to
Speaker 1: that level. So let me leave because I don't want
Speaker 1: that to be the representation that I leave you on
Speaker 1: this show, right, So it's it's cooler minds prevail. Like
Speaker 1: you would give the advice to say, take one second,
Speaker 1: take a beat, and try to be able to play
Speaker 1: the chess game, like you definitely have to take a beat.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know for myself, it's like I can
Speaker 1: go from being totally calm and I'll talk to you
Speaker 1: for so long. But if it's you know, if it's
Speaker 1: like oh that you know how some people like to
Speaker 1: put their finger in your face, or you know, or
Speaker 1: that thing that Monique was doing flipping her hair, oh,
Speaker 1: I would have lost it on the first flip, like
Speaker 1: do not It's taunting. It's taunting right right, And so
Speaker 1: I mean I think some of it is understandable to
Speaker 1: anybody of any race. It just depends on your background.
Speaker 1: Some people their buttons aren't as easy to be pushed.
Speaker 1: But you know, at the same time, if I act
Speaker 1: out compared to you acting out, it's like I'm looking
Speaker 1: at as the angry black woman. You just had a
Speaker 1: bad day. That's why that's why I called you, because
Speaker 1: I wanted to know if when you saw that clip,
Speaker 1: if the first thought you had wasn't oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's funked up. That fight between those two people or
Speaker 1: if the first fight was like, that's not how we act,
Speaker 1: Like you know what you're saying to your daughter. Look
Speaker 1: if your daughter does something, and I'll look at my
Speaker 1: daughter like, no, yesterday I said you gotta thank this person.
Speaker 1: She said, oh, they know, I said, no, call them,
Speaker 1: because you want to be known for the person who
Speaker 1: thanks them. Like whatever it was, that's what I So
Speaker 1: you're I'm the first thought I'm having with her is like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not how it goes. So were you thinking when
Speaker 1: that happened on TV? Like as you're thinking about how
Speaker 1: she's representing black women not just two women fighting. Well, me, personally,
Speaker 1: I don't fall into that because I mean, I definitely
Speaker 1: have gotten to a point where I'm just like I
Speaker 1: don't really care what people think. You know, you have
Speaker 1: to be you at all times. But I do know
Speaker 1: how overall, like my family, my mama, everybody is like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're making us look bad. Oh you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So I know that thought process. You know, um gotta
Speaker 1: it's it's historic realistically, because you know, for so long
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, black people have wanted to become
Speaker 1: more educated. That's why they say, now you know, black
Speaker 1: women are like, you know, some of the percentage wise
Speaker 1: one of the highest percentage of people graduating from college.
Speaker 1: Because now it's like, we have to be educated, we
Speaker 1: have to be this, you know, so that people can
Speaker 1: stop looking at us like, oh, right on this level. Right.
Speaker 1: But I noticed a long time ago, and I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys would agree, but I personally feel
Speaker 1: like housewives, especially all the different um, all of the
Speaker 1: different housewives, you know, we have kind of played into
Speaker 1: the stereotypes of what people think about each region. Meaning um,
Speaker 1: even though we don't necessarily try so. Meaning and I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to say this in any type of racist
Speaker 1: way or whatever. I'm just saying what people historically categorize
Speaker 1: each type of person. Right, So, say, for instance, you know,
Speaker 1: Jersey mostly Italian women. You know, they have had the
Speaker 1: crazy blow ups with their family or the you know,
Speaker 1: you know, and people have said historically, oh, Italians are
Speaker 1: hot headed, la la la la. You know. So, even
Speaker 1: though I'm sure they didn't try to play into the stereotype,
Speaker 1: things like they have happened on their show, or you
Speaker 1: think Housewives of O See, you think, oh, blonde hair,
Speaker 1: this is that. Oh they don't you know, kind of
Speaker 1: agree with yeah, you know, getting wasted, getting into girl
Speaker 1: fights like blood. You know, yeah, that it's totally true.
Speaker 1: It's totally true what you're saying. And yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: between the producers and the cast that like New York
Speaker 1: is trying to pretend they're elevated and intelligent in some way,
Speaker 1: which they're not. More I've worked with them, and they're
Speaker 1: not more intelligent than people in other casts Beverly Hills, Bethany,
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, not trying to pretend everybody is so
Speaker 1: rich even though they're not. You're richer than many people
Speaker 1: on Beverly Hills. That's that's a that's totally true, that
Speaker 1: everyone's playing into the stereotypes. Yeah, and so I don't
Speaker 1: think that we try to, but sometimes there is a
Speaker 1: little bit of a stereotype within a certain group that
Speaker 1: is naturally there. I mean, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I am a black woman. I feel like I'm very intelligent.
Speaker 1: I am a bi since woman, But do not come
Speaker 1: up in my face. Then you're gonna be doing all
Speaker 1: of this because yes, I will check you, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And if that black woman, then that
Speaker 1: would be me. I understand there's a lot, but there's
Speaker 1: a line. Well, then I guess you're saying there's a line,
Speaker 1: and that scene that we're talking about today seems to
Speaker 1: me in any situation, any color of anyone's skin that
Speaker 1: cross that line. Yeah, I mean I feel like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't really like I said, you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: really know what what sparked the argument between those two women,
Speaker 1: but I know, but Potomac specifically, they carry themselves at
Speaker 1: a higher standard for black women. But they definitely you know,
Speaker 1: when they compare them to I guess the Housewives of Atlanta.
Speaker 1: You know, um people Beverly Hills and OC. They're trying
Speaker 1: to create that they're Beverly Hills and black. Potomac is
Speaker 1: near d C. It's more of a political town. Yes,
Speaker 1: the black women there are more, you know, Oh, we
Speaker 1: have to look this way, but it's a political town
Speaker 1: that they are surrounded about. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I know, I told you your Atlanta is a town
Speaker 1: from music. Yeah, we're towns were creative and yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's more like stodgy and near GC. That makes perfect
Speaker 1: sense too. It's good. So, um, I am shocked that
Speaker 1: they did have a fight because they always trying to
Speaker 1: say that there you know, well that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I hadn't happened from Potomac y'all that I was like,
Speaker 1: I expected this one thing and then I think that's
Speaker 1: Bethany when we were talking earlier. That shocked me the most.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh Potomac, Oh, okay, is that the
Speaker 1: real person? Then a facade there that was broken? That's good?
Speaker 1: Then that, Yeah, that's that's interesting. And somebody who watched it,
Speaker 1: that's just somebody who watched most of the girls that
Speaker 1: feel that way. I mean, like I said, it's like,
Speaker 1: we can't allow and I think this is society. We
Speaker 1: cannot allow what happens between the two women to represent
Speaker 1: the whole group. And that's the problem. It's like everybody,
Speaker 1: you see what happened between one, you know, set of people,
Speaker 1: and then you judge the whole group. And that's the
Speaker 1: whole problem that black people have with our representation on television.
Speaker 1: You know, we want to see us, you know, in
Speaker 1: a better light. Oh see more representative, you know, see
Speaker 1: us represented better, Like oh, because they're in in whatever
Speaker 1: race you're in, you're gonna have people that are rich
Speaker 1: more educated. You're gonna have something that are broke, there's
Speaker 1: not doing well. It don't matter what race you are.
Speaker 1: But typically when it comes to black people, if you think,
Speaker 1: you know, people think oh yeah, I need to get
Speaker 1: with you know, the people that are really making moves
Speaker 1: in this category or whatever tech or whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: People won't be like, oh let me get with this
Speaker 1: group over here. The black people like, they're not thinking
Speaker 1: of us when it comes to those, you know, in
Speaker 1: those rooms. Whereas we do have a lot of people
Speaker 1: that are successful in the area. Um like Tani who
Speaker 1: was on our show, her her husband, he's still making
Speaker 1: major moves in tech. He's so you know, millions and
Speaker 1: millions of dollars. And but when you think you're not
Speaker 1: thinking of black people, you know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 1: I just use them as an example to say, you know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter you know what race you're and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have somebody that's elevated in area every area of
Speaker 1: every race. But typically people don't look at black people
Speaker 1: as the ones who are top unless unless it has sports.
Speaker 1: Unless it's sports, or unless it's music or entertainment or whatever,
Speaker 1: then they think of us, right, but typically, you know,
Speaker 1: they're not really looking our way. So that's why we
Speaker 1: want to show them, you know, better representation of ourselves
Speaker 1: when it comes to television because that's what people are watching.
Speaker 1: And then it's crazy because like we gotta think not
Speaker 1: just black people here, that's just here in the United States,
Speaker 1: but overall as a society, as Americans. When people from
Speaker 1: overseas look at us, they always think American are crazy
Speaker 1: there there, they're that because they're just seeing what they
Speaker 1: see on TV. Well, you're amazing. I really appreciate that perspective.
Speaker 1: I am so happy that I called text and I
Speaker 1: thank you very much. I'm glad that I called you
Speaker 1: because we could not have had this conversation without you,
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful. I appreciate you. Candy, thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I had a great time talking to you guys.
Speaker 1: By awesome. I'm bye. I talked to you soon. Thank you.
Speaker 1: You know what, I was just thinking what Candy said
Speaker 1: bethany Um, I was thinking about Oklahoma, where I'm from,
Speaker 1: where I'm writing they were to do at Housewives of Oklahoma.
Speaker 1: When she was talking about, you know, the way people look,
Speaker 1: I thought, what would Oklahoma be like? Okay, we'll be
Speaker 1: talking to each other in a kind way. And I
Speaker 1: love my Oklahoma women. I mean, I'm from there, That's what.
Speaker 1: And then we kind of turned around. We'd have a
Speaker 1: big problem with somebody. We turned around and talked about
Speaker 1: it with somebody else, bless her heart, and we think
Speaker 1: about it forever and forever, and we built the story.
Speaker 1: We'd read write a story, and then that story is
Speaker 1: the story of the show. And I just thought we
Speaker 1: would nice each other to death. It would never work,
Speaker 1: it would never work. Well, I thought it was interesting
Speaker 1: because I walked into the show and they had this intelligent, polished,
Speaker 1: you know, really seemingly orchestrated conversation about elevated conversation about
Speaker 1: the other matter. And she was right. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that they were perceived as more highbrow, and it just
Speaker 1: took it just took a turn. So, okay, so we
Speaker 1: did that. That's amazing. I mean, that's amazing. And I'm
Speaker 1: are we are right, We're glad. I called her okay, great,
Speaker 1: So it was great. I needed that perspective. I don't
Speaker 1: have it. So um so now you have um the
Speaker 1: therapy between Karen and her husband, which I thought was
Speaker 1: so interesting that I liked that scene because they were honest,
Speaker 1: and you get into therapy with a spouse or a partner,
Speaker 1: or even without therapy, you just sometimes have to talk
Speaker 1: to each other and say hi, like how do you
Speaker 1: think this is going? Like why are you even with me?
Speaker 1: Or what do you want? Or where are we in this?
Speaker 1: And she said she was in love with him and
Speaker 1: he said he honestly said he didn't know, but he wasn't.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't like one of these things where I
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable because it was on camera in the way
Speaker 1: that I did with the uh with with with the
Speaker 1: man who cheated on his wife, like their pre nup
Speaker 1: conversation was was awkward. This was just like honest. She
Speaker 1: put him on TV with a therapist and he answered
Speaker 1: honestly like he he didn't. He wasn't on a script.
Speaker 1: I thought it was really real. I loved it too,
Speaker 1: and that's why I love I actually loved that Karen.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's a potster, but I like her. But
Speaker 1: but I felt like, here's what I thought as a watcher.
Speaker 1: I felt like this was authentic, that she did not
Speaker 1: see that one coming. And also I thought about it myself,
Speaker 1: how would I feel after many years of marriage and
Speaker 1: having kids and we're in the ty light years? You know,
Speaker 1: how would I feel if my husband if I said
Speaker 1: I love and by the way, I'm in love with you,
Speaker 1: so right? How or whoever? How would you feel if
Speaker 1: the guy said, your husband, your mate of all these years,
Speaker 1: said I love you, and you say, what are you
Speaker 1: in love with me? And he said, I know I
Speaker 1: love you? Am I in love with you after all
Speaker 1: these years? I mean, you know, because the truth is beckany.
Speaker 1: We know that relationships evolve and change. I always will
Speaker 1: be in love with um, Josh. Are there going to
Speaker 1: be times, I'm sure when he's like, I need five minutes,
Speaker 1: I need a break from you for a second because
Speaker 1: you're driving me crazy. It's just the truth. Relationships. I
Speaker 1: don't and I don't. I think those are just words too.
Speaker 1: I think in this moment when you asked him on
Speaker 1: television in a scene when she's working and he's probably
Speaker 1: bored and it's been twenty years, and I feel that
Speaker 1: way sometimes after four years, we all feel I don't
Speaker 1: think the language he knew the language, just like he
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like he's in love with her in that moment,
Speaker 1: because you could get your period and I feel like
Speaker 1: you're in love with someone like you could be hormonal, Like,
Speaker 1: what does it even mean? They're together all these years?
Speaker 1: They were the same person there, partnership like you don't
Speaker 1: know all the time where how you are changes every day?
Speaker 1: Yes and yeah, like you said moments. One time I
Speaker 1: asked my mom and she I said, Mom, what's the
Speaker 1: key to your relationship with that? And just well I
Speaker 1: love him that I can't bear him. And I thought,
Speaker 1: hilarious answer. But I mean we've all been there exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: So what about the the pre nup and post up conversation?
Speaker 1: I thought that was a sweating I was sweating. I mean,
Speaker 1: it didn't seem like he knew that was coming. She's
Speaker 1: allowed to do whatever she wants based on what just happened.
Speaker 1: Like it's almost like you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: he doesn't really have a lot of leverage in the conversation,
Speaker 1: But is there dynamic? This guy's got money? Is there? Like?
Speaker 1: Is that why this pre conversation's happening? That's what it's about.
Speaker 1: So this guy is because because she's very attractive and
Speaker 1: she seems really sweet, and he seems not that interesting
Speaker 1: to me. I'm not I'm not getting what's going on.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not and I have it from the beginning.
Speaker 1: But for whatever reason she did and there I think
Speaker 1: there must be a lot of things off camera that
Speaker 1: I don't seek because I question it. But one thing
Speaker 1: that bothered me about that scene that well, one thing
Speaker 1: that made me sad um is I felt like, God,
Speaker 1: is this the first time she's been able to feel
Speaker 1: safe or oh, connection enough to be able to tell
Speaker 1: him in front of a therapist because he the reason
Speaker 1: I asked that or say that is because he did
Speaker 1: seem oh, wait, you're talking about Karen now, No, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about um. Oh sorry, okay, God, oh, because she
Speaker 1: said we should go talk to is that mixing? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, didn't they about it before? Because he did
Speaker 1: seem very generally generally surprised when she asked the question
Speaker 1: in front of the therapist, and I felt bad that
Speaker 1: she that they didn't have that conversation at home. I
Speaker 1: just felt like it seems like a surprise all the
Speaker 1: way around. And I hated it, not for him, just
Speaker 1: I thought I hated it for her. She couldn't she
Speaker 1: felt comfortable talking about it and with him alone. Does
Speaker 1: that make sense unless the producers have said, you have
Speaker 1: to talk about this. I've had really awkward conversations on
Speaker 1: camera that I really didn't want to have, and the
Speaker 1: other person doesn't either. I just never understand the man
Speaker 1: signing up for this. I haven't. I don't know how
Speaker 1: much he's been involved in the show. But there's no
Speaker 1: upside to a successful wealthy man being on this show.
Speaker 1: There's no upside to a successful wealthy person being on
Speaker 1: the show. It is all downhill, like it is all
Speaker 1: exposure and putting yourself at risk and anything can happen
Speaker 1: like so I don't understand, except for the fact that
Speaker 1: if this guy loves If, he loves If, he loves
Speaker 1: her and wants to stay with her, and he's screwed
Speaker 1: around and gotten caught that this is the Maya cult,
Speaker 1: but that she's going to say to him on camera,
Speaker 1: are you giving me a post and up? Then I
Speaker 1: logically understand that. But short of that, I don't understand.
Speaker 1: My fiance would never have any conversation on television. I
Speaker 1: couldn't say to him, what did you be for lunch?
Speaker 1: He wouldn't. He would He would not be on TV
Speaker 1: for that you know. I can't imagine you said to
Speaker 1: me the other I please don't ever let us be
Speaker 1: on a reality I say, gosh, no, I'm not. That
Speaker 1: wouldn't wouldn't wave to me. He wouldn't stand in a
Speaker 1: corner and support me in an event like you just
Speaker 1: you just wouldn't much less have me say to him,
Speaker 1: should we do a post up? He wouldn't do it
Speaker 1: for fifty million dollars. There's no there's no upside to this.
Speaker 1: So I don't understand these scenes and what's going on
Speaker 1: unless it's just because he owes her one. I think
Speaker 1: that when they met, this is a very short take
Speaker 1: on it. When they met, they were having fun. He
Speaker 1: fell he fell in love with this fun, easy, breezy
Speaker 1: she'll kind of go along with whatever. And then what
Speaker 1: happens every time people get married for whatever reason, it
Speaker 1: gets serious, like life comes in. Like you said, reality
Speaker 1: sets in and you have to figure out, oh, it's
Speaker 1: not just this weekend we're gonna be together. We have
Speaker 1: to set that aside and we have to wait for
Speaker 1: the next time. And that life happened, and he was like, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1: This is where I gather from watching it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait,
Speaker 1: I thought we had this, and now it's involving involved.
Speaker 1: Plus we saw him stress out of her a restaurant
Speaker 1: that looked really bad to me on television that he owned,
Speaker 1: and then we saw that, and then he was really
Speaker 1: rude to her, and I just kept thinking, get up,
Speaker 1: get up. He just seemed not fun. He didn't have
Speaker 1: fun with her anymore, That's what it seems. And also
Speaker 1: sometimes marriages like the idea of the action and the
Speaker 1: fame and the light of the show, and they think
Speaker 1: together it's gonna be a fun adventure. Might say their
Speaker 1: marriage has happened all the time, and it is not
Speaker 1: a good idea for relationships. So last and last question
Speaker 1: speaking of relationships is um Jamal and Giselle and and that,
Speaker 1: And this is where I don't know if I'm judging.
Speaker 1: I'm not judging him. He has eight or nine baby mamas,
Speaker 1: But like I cannot imagine, this is where the line
Speaker 1: of judgment is where for me, I cannot imagine wanting
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with someone who had eight
Speaker 1: or nine children from eight or nine other people. And
Speaker 1: I thought she was such a class act for saying
Speaker 1: I won't comment out of respect for their mothers. But
Speaker 1: I also think she doesn't want to be judged on
Speaker 1: that too. What the hell I don't I don't understand.
Speaker 1: I've spent a wee bit of time with her, and
Speaker 1: I know I am gathering this is my opinion, Bethany.
Speaker 1: Of course I am gathering that that deeply hurt her
Speaker 1: because I think there was a time where she was
Speaker 1: considering it like that's her family, and that was her
Speaker 1: first She's got these two girls, and then when all
Speaker 1: this start happened, you can only forgive so much. And
Speaker 1: she's also being a woman of faith, him being a minister,
Speaker 1: and maybe this is where I have to say, Okay, Lord,
Speaker 1: help me not judge, because I do tend to look
Speaker 1: at him and go, how are you leading a congregation?
Speaker 1: I would say this to any minister of any faith,
Speaker 1: how are you? And then continuing to do that. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny because Candy feels that when she sees women
Speaker 1: arguing like that, or her family feels that that's a
Speaker 1: bad representation for black women. And you must cringe when
Speaker 1: something happens with a priest or a minister. So it's
Speaker 1: a religious figurehead and you're sitting there talking about religion
Speaker 1: and faith and people are saying, oh, and as that
Speaker 1: as you are met another thing that they're teeth baste about,
Speaker 1: and it bothers bothers to crap on me. Thank you
Speaker 1: for bringing that up. It really bothers me. I'm like, dude, yeah,
Speaker 1: represent represent and you're not doing and you're showing your
Speaker 1: daughters how to treat a woman. It makes me makes
Speaker 1: me mad. And to be in the frison and you're
Speaker 1: doing that. Yes, so interesting. We had race and religion
Speaker 1: come up in this episode based on representation. You don't
Speaker 1: you make a choice to be a religious figurehead. You
Speaker 1: got to think about what you're doing and where you're
Speaker 1: putting it. You just said the keywords, Bethany, you make
Speaker 1: a choice. If he just chose not to live in
Speaker 1: the limelight or put himself on because he seems full,
Speaker 1: willing and able to do it. She's right. When I've seen,
Speaker 1: you know, when white women fight, there's below the belts,
Speaker 1: there's all these things, the glasses drown. But we're just
Speaker 1: having a temper tantrum. And also we don't say it's
Speaker 1: a bad example of white women because we just right
Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, you're right. He nailed it on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you nailed it. I so appreciate you for coming on.
Speaker 1: I hope you see it's not about it's not really
Speaker 1: about the show. It's about what I love it. I
Speaker 1: actually love it because it's in depth and it brings
Speaker 1: up a lot of topical conversations that we should be
Speaker 1: having and especially today, and I really appreciate it. I
Speaker 1: appreciate it too. You're awesome, as I knew you would be.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so proud. Yeah, I'm so excited this episode.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to talk to my producers when you
Speaker 1: get off enough to tell each other how wonderful everything.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I love everything that you're doing in this life. Congratulation,
Speaker 1: thank you. Likewise, thank you by Hi