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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Taco

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Speaker 1: Belled trend Fest Cereal. That's something right, people will know that.

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Speaker 2: Means twists, cinnamon trends, trendam in twists. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to hold off on that because just the

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Speaker 1: idea of Coco Bell breakfast cereal is so fucked up.

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Speaker 1: It's such a weird picture in your mind until you

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Speaker 1: find out that cinnamon twist.

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Speaker 2: In my mind, it's it's just a bunch of dried beans,

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Speaker 2: tortilla chip strips, and like loose shredded cheese, and then

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Speaker 2: you pour milk on it.

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Speaker 1: And the blobs of ground beef actually get nice and

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Speaker 1: moist once you pour the milk in. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they really activate, They really take on a life

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Speaker 2: of its own.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, brand flakes, Dorido flavored marshmallows, hunks of ground

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Speaker 1: beeps and then instead of pouring milk, you just pour

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Speaker 1: in sour cream. No, the actual So Taco Bell is

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Speaker 1: dropping a cereal on all of our asses. Uh, and

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Speaker 1: it is cinnamon twist cereal. The best they did, the

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Speaker 1: right one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah I missed a cinnamon twist.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not going to be made widely available because

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Speaker 1: you know it's one of those like fast food activations.

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Speaker 3: But honestly, you know, Ta Kobel, I'm off this. You

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Speaker 3: have to be a little bit.

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Speaker 2: It has to hit every corner, every segment of society

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Speaker 2: or else it's just bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what are we even doing here?

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Speaker 2: Couldn't even get apple Atchian sipping cream over this side

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Speaker 2: of those arcs, you know what I mean? The fuck

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Speaker 2: is going on? Bulls bullshit man, Although we did ultimately, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, shout out to doctor j P. They they

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Speaker 2: came through with they broke me off with some of

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Speaker 2: their ego sipping cream that they ordered online and brought

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Speaker 2: me a little amazing shop.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna high. I can't bring myself to drinking.

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Speaker 1: It really looked like coffee, mate. It looks like coffee

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Speaker 1: maye like alcohol. I've infused coffee, mate, Yeah vibe.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just also too like I need to buy.

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Speaker 2: I want to see it in the jar. I want

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Speaker 2: that full experience like it feels. And no, look, doctor JP,

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Speaker 2: I know you're listening. I love you, fam and I

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Speaker 2: appreciate you bringing me the jar. But there's something about

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Speaker 2: it when I look at it in my refrigerator, because

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Speaker 2: it's not labeled.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like, you know, like when Smeiegel looks at

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Speaker 3: the ring and it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, shot up, Like that's what the vibe I

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Speaker 2: can hear the yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the sipping cream is calling your name, but not

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Speaker 1: not not in a kind way, in a way that

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Speaker 1: makes you think that you're gonna lose your grasp of saying.

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Speaker 1: I guess. There was Wendy's Frosty Cereal, which I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't need that ship at all personally. No, it

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Speaker 1: was like a cocoa puff style cereal. I don't need

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Speaker 1: it anyways. I could see. Yeah, No, I think I

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Speaker 1: think cinnamon Twist is probably if I had to come

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Speaker 1: up with like the breakfast cereal fast food combination, and

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Speaker 1: this is what Taco Bell is. Yeah, you know, I'm here,

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Speaker 1: Well done, Taco Bell. So there's a story that our

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Speaker 1: man in Canada, our writer J M McNabb, flagged for us.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot of fun. It is about thirty eight

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Speaker 1: year old Brian Paree of quebec Qua, who of Quebec,

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Speaker 1: quebec Qua would be what he is, yes thank you,

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Speaker 1: who was known on the Internet for routinely posting conspiracy

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Speaker 1: theories accusing the government of deliberately starting forest fires to

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Speaker 1: trick people into believing in climate change.

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Speaker 2: So the logic here is that the reason we have

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Speaker 2: forest fires is an op so the government can get

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Speaker 2: y'all all in on this idea of climate change.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they want you to believe in climate change, so

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Speaker 1: they're starting, they're intentionally starting forest fires. Got Unfortunately for

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Speaker 1: the credibility of that claim, he just plaged guilty to

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Speaker 1: thirteen counts of arson and one count of arson with

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Speaker 1: disregard for human life because he was, let me just

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Speaker 1: check this, starting forest fires.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh oh, okay that that that does a bit

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Speaker 2: for your That doesn't do well for your conspiracy theory.

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Speaker 3: There was his name, Brian Pare.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean at least he was. I mean he was,

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Speaker 2: I guess manifesting in one sense of the word.

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to find.

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Speaker 1: Him that one way to call it. He was witnessing. Like,

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Speaker 1: they started to get suspicious because so many of the

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Speaker 1: fires were happening in the same areas in a short

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Speaker 1: period of time, seemingly with no natural cause, and he

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Speaker 1: was a witness to a lot of them. They're like, wait,

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Speaker 1: what was this? Well, like Canada is huge, right, like

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Speaker 1: we we all live here, Canada's pretty big, right. Why

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Speaker 1: is the smetherfucker always happened to be around every time

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Speaker 1: there's a fire, so he became a suspect specifically because

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Speaker 1: of his interest in fires, including those Facebook posts and yeah, so,

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Speaker 1: some right wing media pundits have tried to turn this

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Speaker 1: news into evidence that the government shouldn't have been so

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Speaker 1: quick to blame climate change for the forest fires, which

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Speaker 1: is what very stupid, because first of all, there were

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Speaker 1: more than seven hundred forest fires in Quebec this summer,

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Speaker 1: and ninety nine point nine percent of the fires were

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Speaker 1: sparked by lightning, and second of all, his version of

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Speaker 1: how the fires came about. He was arrested back in

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Speaker 1: September and admitted to starting some of the fires, but

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Speaker 1: only because he was doing tests to find out whether

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Speaker 1: the forest was really dry or not, so he sparked

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Speaker 1: the fires to test the hypothesis that the forest was

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Speaker 1: dry from climate change. The forest responded by being so

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Speaker 1: dry due to climate change that it immediately burst into

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Speaker 1: flames and started like devastating forest fires that could be

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Speaker 1: seen like from the country over like in the smoke. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was conducting an experiment and got the results in

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Speaker 1: dramatic fashion. And the dramatic results are climate change is

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Speaker 1: indeed very bad and causing forest fires.

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Speaker 2: Has he don't have any idea if he's come around

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Speaker 2: now that like it's true, he's like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: we haven't gotten.

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Speaker 3: You know what, my honor.

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Speaker 2: After these experiments and the way the results that I

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Speaker 2: did yield from them, I must say I believe that maybe, yeah,

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Speaker 2: they are dry as fuck.

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Speaker 3: My honor, and maybe it's climate change. So I'm willing

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Speaker 3: to I'm willing to own that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is one of the great experiments we've seen

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Speaker 1: conducted by the right wing, one of the great one

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Speaker 1: since that flat earther fired himself into the APPMO. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: and crashed back to Earth and died. Uh and you know,

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Speaker 1: proving I think probably the last thing he saw was

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Speaker 1: oh ship, that ship curves, this ship curn uh huh.

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Speaker 2: And then yeah, say, well you hate to see it

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Speaker 2: to all, to all the pioneering scientists out there, your

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Speaker 2: your your contributions won't have not gone in vain. But

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Speaker 2: I mean except for this guy who costs tens of

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Speaker 2: thousands of people, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Who's countless animals and endangered lives and.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like just be a danger to yourself, like go burn,

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Speaker 2: like burn your own ship down, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: But at least the guy in the fucking rocket ship

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Speaker 2: like that was a purely self generated l.

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Speaker 1: Right, all right, there's some fake news from the past week.

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Speaker 1: The AP he's been doing this service where they drop

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Speaker 1: a story that is like news that didn't happen this week.

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Speaker 1: Here's some stories that you might have heard. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I had heard any of these in particular, although

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Speaker 1: this first one, so the first one is about the

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Speaker 1: tunnels that the Hasidic community was digging, and that the

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Speaker 1: rumor was that these were being used for human trafficking,

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Speaker 1: whereas you know, it was actually being used to live

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Speaker 1: the truth that tunnels are fucking cool, as we previously reported,

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Speaker 1: but because anti Semitism never sleeps, they tried to cram

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Speaker 1: some antisemitic tropes in there and maybe about like sneaky

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Speaker 1: tunnels used to transport well.

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Speaker 2: Because like it's one of those things they're like pointing to,

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Speaker 2: like a report of like sexual abuse like in a synagogue,

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Speaker 2: and they're like, and that means any time this happens,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, you know, like with the Catholic Church,

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Speaker 2: where there's like enough like that you could be like,

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Speaker 2: I guess maybe, But also like, is that immediately what

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Speaker 2: we're jumping to here, because based on what all the

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Speaker 2: people in the community are saying, it was simply a

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Speaker 2: dispute over the rabbi there being the Messiah and trying

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Speaker 2: to expand the footprint of this specific temple.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, of course, because as you say, and.

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Speaker 1: Wanting a cool place to study.

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Speaker 3: Place cool place to study where you can like smoke

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Speaker 3: SIGs down there, you know what I mean, play the

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Speaker 3: fucking music your mom wants you to turn down and shit, yeah, dude,

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Speaker 3: that's weird.

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Speaker 1: That's right. Another fake story came about because there were

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Speaker 1: two comedians who dressed up as Trump supporters to film

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Speaker 1: the Stop the Steel rally back on January sixth, and uh,

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Speaker 1: that's being used by magg of people being like, see

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Speaker 1: the attacks were an inside job. Oh my god, because

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Speaker 1: these two YouTube comedians went undercover, that must mean that

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Speaker 1: they started the whole thing. It does not mean that.

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Speaker 1: And then another big story of forty four year old

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Speaker 1: migrant named sahill Omar was identified as the sus effect

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Speaker 1: in an explosion at a historic hotel in Fort Worth, Texas.

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Speaker 1: This is big news because he was also identified as

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Speaker 1: the suspect behind the shooting at UNLV last month. Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: it turns out he doesn't exist. What the explosion was

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Speaker 1: a natural gas explosion caused presumably by deregulation and corporate carelessness.

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Speaker 1: You'll find out more about that on tomorrow's episode when

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Speaker 1: we talked about Boeing.

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Speaker 2: So they they just made up a fucking guy, or like,

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Speaker 2: how how does this pursing the same guy?

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Speaker 1: They're just like late, they're copy and pasting this same

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Speaker 1: forty four year old migrant named sahill Omar.

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Speaker 2: So he's like the Alan Smithy of like xenophobic.

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Speaker 1: They just need a When you need a forty four

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Speaker 1: year old migrant to blame something on, this is your guy,

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Speaker 1: right For.

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Speaker 2: People don't know, Alan Smithy is like a pseudonym that

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Speaker 2: people use in show business to be like I didn't

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Speaker 2: write that or direct that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when a director like makes something and it gets

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Speaker 1: like they lose control of it or it turns into

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Speaker 1: be a turns out to be a big piece of shit,

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Speaker 1: they will be like this was actually directed by Alan

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Speaker 1: Smithy yes, I think American History X is probably the

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Speaker 1: best known movie that was directed by Alan Smithy. Oh really,

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Speaker 1: Edward Norton kind of took over control of that from

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Speaker 1: the director, and so the director was like, not me,

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Speaker 1: couldn't be me. Must have been that fellow, Alan Smithy.

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Speaker 1: Let's take a quick break. We'll come right back in

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Speaker 1: or back and the cold weather in Chicago is exposing

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Speaker 1: some failed design features on tesla's that this is a

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Speaker 1: little bit satisfying for me as somebody who has like

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Speaker 1: you know, gotten into a Tesla before, where I didn't

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Speaker 1: know how to work the door handle and felt like

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Speaker 1: an complete full trying to open the door handle, like

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Speaker 1: hitting it, it doesn't respond.

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you I was.

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Speaker 2: I was radicalized against tesla's the first time I tried

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Speaker 2: to get in somebody's tesla, Like I remember getting picked

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Speaker 2: up by one of like when we were I was

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Speaker 2: was me and her majesty and like her homegirl's husband

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Speaker 2: like has a Tesla and then pulled up the way

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Speaker 2: I looked like a time traveling peasant from the Middle

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Speaker 2: Ages trying to open like just be like this is.

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Speaker 1: Completely confounding me, me lord.

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Speaker 2: And it's just like press on the stick and then

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Speaker 2: like moved a little flap and then it opens, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, man, shit made me look dumb as fuck. Bro,

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Speaker 2: fuck these cars just like immediately like no, yeah, thank

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Speaker 2: shout out to my fragile ego.

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Speaker 1: Well, it turns out our fragile egos were right, because

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Speaker 1: these handles don't fucking work when it's cold outside. No,

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Speaker 1: you know, you get a little ice on the outside

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Speaker 1: of your car. I've definitely had this before where I

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Speaker 1: go to open the door of my car and it's

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Speaker 1: like frozen shut right that. But you just have to

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Speaker 1: like yank on a little bit with these like the

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Speaker 1: door handles, like you need to like start chipping away

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Speaker 1: at the ice. There's no there's no way to like

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Speaker 1: reach in there, which like not not very helpful.

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Speaker 2: No, the clips that are going around are a lot

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Speaker 2: of people being like, Okay, so ice is completely frozen

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Speaker 2: over my door handle and the door. So like maybe

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Speaker 2: once I've after I've excavated the handle with my fingernails

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Speaker 2: and bloody fingertips, I can then get the fucking handle

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Speaker 2: to activate. But then at which point the like little

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Speaker 2: pneumatic lever that's pushing the door open can't even fucking

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Speaker 2: do it because the rest of my door is frozen

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Speaker 2: solid shut. It's just wild to see. Because there's also

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Speaker 2: the superchargers. Those places were completely like malfunctioning because of

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Speaker 2: the super cold temperature and like people's like their cars

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Speaker 2: are basically dying as they were waiting to get in line.

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Speaker 3: For a supercharger.

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Speaker 2: Uh and yeah, but unfortunately this is this has created

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Speaker 2: a huge wave of like conservatives like on the internet

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Speaker 2: being like and this is why I'll always keep burning

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Speaker 2: petroleum in my earthfucker car. So not the best the

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Speaker 2: best ad for Tesla, but you know, so.

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Speaker 1: My car belches black smoke exactly the only way to

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Speaker 1: do it.

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Speaker 2: Except when there's a software update and then that completely

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Speaker 2: bricks my car.

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Speaker 1: But that's it's still a fucking forward, right. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: there's a way to make e vehicles and uh you

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Speaker 1: know that that work and aren't shitty and we we

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Speaker 1: will get there totally soon, I think. But a lot

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Speaker 1: of the people I'm assuming they won't be made by

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Speaker 1: Elon Musk.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, a lot of the people who have been

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Speaker 2: like who are like know about it, like, oh, people

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Speaker 2: should be doing this before, and that helps a lot,

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Speaker 2: like because I think there might be a lot of

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Speaker 2: people who have I don't know. I mean, like I

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Speaker 2: get it, like the battery life is the range that

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Speaker 2: goes down when it's super cold, but like you know,

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Speaker 2: it seems like there's ways around it.

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Speaker 3: But hey, that's why I'm over here without the tesla.

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Speaker 2: And I look like I said, I'm an aspiring Lambeaux

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Speaker 2: owner and this shit would never happen in a Lambo.

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Speaker 1: That's right. Lambeau's handle extremely well in icy conditions. Oh

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Speaker 1: we all know that. Oh yeah, all right, Uh, this

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Speaker 1: is something I hadn't really experienced. But apparently the US

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Speaker 1: Federal Highway Administration is having to put a stop to

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Speaker 1: humorous highway signs. Ah have you have you seen a

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Speaker 1: humorous highway sign? I have, like some examples Usia Blanca

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Speaker 1: in Massachusetts, don't drive star spangled hammered. I'm assuming that's

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Speaker 1: on for the July pocus Pocus drive with focus. Oh.

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Speaker 1: I like that Halloween.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I saw one that was having to

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Speaker 2: do with like smoking weed, like in Oregon, maybe Washington

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Speaker 2: or something. I saw like one like that that was

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Speaker 2: very like, hey, stoner, don't lose your boner while you're driving.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it said that exactly, but it

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Speaker 3: was it was something to that effect.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was again like one of these sort of punny,

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Speaker 2: rhymey kind of things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. One one that I'm seeing a picture for here

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Speaker 1: is driving fast and furious. That's Luda Chris O.

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Speaker 3: Ye.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so cousin Eddie says Twitter is full put down

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Speaker 1: the phone was one in Mississippi. That one sucks. I

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Speaker 1: guess it's the reference to Christmas vacation. Yeah. For some reason,

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Speaker 1: like my my brain went to t G I F

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Speaker 1: and I think I mixed cousin Larry and Eddie from

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Speaker 1: Family Matters in my head.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's I mean, Yoda uses.

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Speaker 1: The force but still needs a car seat. No the

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Speaker 1: fuck he doesn't, doesn't. Y'all were just like trying to

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Speaker 1: get and on the mandalor.

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Speaker 2: I like getting like like actually the fucking like low

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Speaker 2: Star Wars law of a sign.

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Speaker 1: No, yeah, please.

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Speaker 2: Let's hold on, just start shut all the fucking traffic

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Speaker 2: down to get everyone's attention.

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Speaker 3: He does not need a car seat.

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Speaker 2: He's in a floating carriage ORB type situation, which he

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Speaker 2: absolutely doesn't need. He has full control of the force anyway,

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Speaker 2: and also his name is Groku.

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Speaker 1: Right, this is a real alien versus predator situation where

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Speaker 1: whoever wins, we all lose because on the one hand

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Speaker 1: you have the buzzkill US Federal Highway Administration who are like,

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Speaker 1: you must not make your signs this funny. They are

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Speaker 1: a distraction. And on the other hand, you have like

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Speaker 1: the office comedians who are writing these things. Right, these

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Speaker 1: just like labored pop culture references. Yeah, like almost definitely

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Speaker 1: people who say that's what she said five times a

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Speaker 1: day still to this day.

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Speaker 3: Or do like love to make fart sounds with their

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Speaker 3: mouths all the time, Like.

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Speaker 2: It's like, dude, come on, fucking thirty thousand years old, please. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I almost as said thirty nine and just self owned there, dude,

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Speaker 2: you're thirty nine, you're Ninefo you're.

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Speaker 3: Doing fart noises? Yeah, I think they're funny.

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Speaker 1: Still, did you censor that for me? You didn't want

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Speaker 1: to hurt my feelings?

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Speaker 3: No, I know, I was.

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Speaker 2: I was just realizing I was just gonna just completely

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Speaker 2: roast myself.

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Speaker 3: I was protecting me, Jack.

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Speaker 1: I learned it from watching you. Okay, another one texting

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Speaker 1: and driving say it, I'm the problem. It's me, Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, Taylor. I do feel like these would be

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a distraction. On the other hand,

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Speaker 1: maybe they are more likely to get my attention. I

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Speaker 1: would probably get a little annoyed after I saw it

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Speaker 1: for like the fifth time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but like, have you ever been moved by a

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Speaker 2: clever pun to actually change your like reckless behavior, Like

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Speaker 2: at the peak of my like boozing and drug use

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Speaker 2: or something in college and I saw a sign like that,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, hah, that shit is funny.

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Speaker 1: I'm going harder now, turn around to the back seat

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Speaker 1: fully to.

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Speaker 2: Talk about it exactly, fucking hands completely off the wheel

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Speaker 2: and be like, can you should I go around?

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Speaker 3: I'll pull back around, dude, I'll go over this fucking

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Speaker 3: k rail.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. Some of the people are like, actually,

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Speaker 1: we're having a lot of success with these signs in Mississippi,

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Speaker 1: which harnessed the power of which is the ones that

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Speaker 1: did the Taylor Swift sign. And then you've got the

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Speaker 1: federal regulators who are like, how funny is too funny?

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Speaker 1: This is a distraction. So yeah, the pro the people

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Speaker 1: who are pro say funny triggers more brain activity among participants.

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Speaker 1: The people who are like that shit is distracting. It's

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Speaker 1: too damn funny. I think the big lesson is everybody

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Speaker 1: involved has a bad sense of humor, and maybe we

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Speaker 1: need to find like other creative outlets for these people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe we give them like some improv lessons or something,

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Speaker 1: or just classes for the.

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Speaker 2: Office, or maybe let's not simplify like that. The solution

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Speaker 2: to the scourge of like horrific drunk driving accidents is

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Speaker 2: to get somebody to like, like think of fast and

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Speaker 2: furious and a ludicrous pun. Like, maybe we can do

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Speaker 2: a little bit better than that, like maybe dealing never mind,

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Speaker 2: I was about to say dealing with root causes to

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Speaker 2: shut up.

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Speaker 1: Now Anyways, the conclusion that we're dealing with is signs

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Speaker 1: should be simple and not include humor, wit or pop

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Speaker 1: culture references, which, like I just I can't imagine like

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Speaker 1: the people involved in these meetings, like the arguments just

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Speaker 1: be pretty demoralizing.

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Speaker 2: You have to seriously debate that, and then they say

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Speaker 2: stuff like, well there was increased brain activity.

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Speaker 3: What this is not serious at all? These can we

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Speaker 3: do something actually effective here?

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Speaker 1: But I love a good fun all right, Well, those

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Speaker 1: are some of the things that are trending on this

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Speaker 1: January seventeenth. We are back tomorrow with a whole ass

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Speaker 1: episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other,

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Speaker 1: be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing

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Speaker 1: about white supremacy, and we will talk y'all tomorrow. Bye bye,