Speaker 1: She was at the top of the seesaw and I
Speaker 1: guess whoever was on the bottom got off. She came down.
Speaker 1: She hit her head, but she went through the day.
Speaker 1: She was okay. But later that afternoon she had a
Speaker 1: seizure and I noticed immediately that the right side of
Speaker 1: her face was drooping and she was talking out of
Speaker 1: the left side. That's Brian and Kathy Usher. They're talking
Speaker 1: about their daughter, Beth. She had a very rare neurological encephalitis.
Speaker 1: Every minute or so she would have like either these jerks.
Speaker 1: They'd throw her to the ground, off a chair, a
Speaker 1: fork would go flying, whatever was in her hand. It was,
Speaker 1: you know, not a good time. The day we left
Speaker 1: Johns Hopkins, their last words to us, um it was
Speaker 1: go home and enjoy life and let's hope she has
Speaker 1: ten good years. And then that was in seven and
Speaker 1: Beth just turned forty. Thanks Mar and Gathy. Just more
Speaker 1: keep that off the podcast. I'm Carla Wallace and this
Speaker 1: is Finding Fred, a podcast about Fred Rogers from I
Speaker 1: Heart Media and Fatherly in partnership with Transmitter Media. Today.
Speaker 1: Just one story I really wish I could remember. I
Speaker 1: was so young at the time about Fred Rogers and
Speaker 1: a kid named Beth. I only remember through stories that
Speaker 1: Mom and Dad told me. It's slowly built up to
Speaker 1: where she was having over a hundred seizures a day,
Speaker 1: some so severe they would knock her down and she
Speaker 1: would be flailing, and we were worried she couldn't breathe.
Speaker 1: And I would go into grocery stores or church or whatever,
Speaker 1: and people would look at me and look at her
Speaker 1: because she was black and blue from head to toe
Speaker 1: from falling. We were watching this deterioration happened, and every
Speaker 1: time we went to the doctor, they had no idea
Speaker 1: what was going on. It was so crazy that we
Speaker 1: even tore apart of bedroom, thinking maybe she was bit
Speaker 1: by a spider. Maybe there was a spider in the room.
Speaker 1: You know. We were constantly calling all over the place
Speaker 1: to try to learn of new drugs, new studies being done.
Speaker 1: Didn't you doctor was checking and go into the library.
Speaker 1: I even borrowed a doctor's lab coat and broke into
Speaker 1: Yale University's medical library because they weren't allowed owing anybody
Speaker 1: in there. We felt like we were on Twilight Zone
Speaker 1: because here something is obviously eating away at our child's brain.
Speaker 1: We're watching it happen, you think like you have an
Speaker 1: ill child and the world should come together and make
Speaker 1: this child better. But no one had any idea what
Speaker 1: was going on. We tried just about everything and um
Speaker 1: in order for us to get ready for work in
Speaker 1: the morning, we had to PLoP Beth up with a
Speaker 1: bunch of pillows in front of the television set, and
Speaker 1: we instructed her older brother, he's Brian, he's older by
Speaker 1: two and a half years, to sit with her with
Speaker 1: his arms around her, and they were surrounded by pillows
Speaker 1: watching Mr Rogers neighborhood and he called, he said, mom,
Speaker 1: and I came running immediately, and he said Mr. Wadgers
Speaker 1: is over with and Beth didn't have a seizure. And
Speaker 1: then the next day the same thing happened, and the
Speaker 1: next day after that, I said, this is very peculiar.
Speaker 1: So then I sat down with her and I just
Speaker 1: looked at her, and her eyes were just she was
Speaker 1: inside that television screen, and it was like that he
Speaker 1: was talking directly to her, even so that when he
Speaker 1: would ask a question like shall we feed the fish today,
Speaker 1: Beth would say, yes, we should. And at the end
Speaker 1: of every episode he would say, I love you, just
Speaker 1: the way you are, and Beth would say, I love
Speaker 1: you too, Mr Rogers, and she would not have one seizure.
Speaker 1: After two and a half years of research, constant seizures,
Speaker 1: and makes of treatments, Beth and her parents finally got
Speaker 1: a diagnosis rest Mussan's encephalitis. It's an extremely rare and
Speaker 1: progressive disease that attacks the brain. The only treatment is
Speaker 1: at that time, was to remove the entire left side
Speaker 1: of her brain. You just can't fathom that type of surgery.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't imagine doing that left there. So now
Speaker 1: we're not doing that. We even consulted a neurosurgeon at
Speaker 1: Yale who said that they would not even put a
Speaker 1: dog through that. And then Bethy kept getting worse, and
Speaker 1: I mean impacted her whole life, I mean her learning
Speaker 1: her friendships. It was. It was a nightmare. We were
Speaker 1: all petrified. We didn't go anywhere. We shut down as
Speaker 1: a family. Um, we were afraid to leave her anywhere.
Speaker 1: We didn't. One of us was with her all the
Speaker 1: time around the cloth. Yeah. Finally, I think what pushed
Speaker 1: us over the edge. It was a holiday show and
Speaker 1: BETHI had prepared for it and singing a song with
Speaker 1: her classmates. I think you were in what first grade
Speaker 1: at the time, and it was bomb remember that. And
Speaker 1: so the night of the show, we were there and
Speaker 1: she has a seizure right in the middle. Bow had
Speaker 1: to help her fixed seizure, and she looked at us
Speaker 1: and said, I ruined the whole thing. And she said,
Speaker 1: these seizures, I just want them to go away. So
Speaker 1: they decided to go ahead with the brain surgery known
Speaker 1: as a hemisphere ectomy, and they scheduled it for the
Speaker 1: following February. That gave them two months at home with
Speaker 1: Beth before the surgery. We knew that there was a
Speaker 1: possibility that Beth could fall into a coma, she could
Speaker 1: be paralyzed for life, and she could even die from
Speaker 1: this surgery. We wanted to make the time before her
Speaker 1: surgery spectacular. So Cathy found the number for Fred Rogers
Speaker 1: TV station and explained to his assistant that her daughter
Speaker 1: was going in for a horrendous surgery. Kathy asked for
Speaker 1: an autograph photo of Mr Rogers to tape up in
Speaker 1: the hospital room, and she said, I will, you know,
Speaker 1: talk to Fred and get back to you. And maybe
Speaker 1: an hour later I got a call and she said,
Speaker 1: Fred is going to call Beth at seven o'clock this evening.
Speaker 1: Is that good for you? And I said he's going
Speaker 1: to call her. The phone rang and I picked it
Speaker 1: up and I said to Beth, Beth, a friend is
Speaker 1: calling for you. And at this point Beth had no friends,
Speaker 1: so thinking that a friend was on the line was
Speaker 1: really unbelievable. And she ran over and I gave her
Speaker 1: the phone and she's skilled, it's squilled Mr Rogers. Bummy, dad,
Speaker 1: it's Mr Rogers. Brian and I left the room. We
Speaker 1: were peeking over around the corner because she we wanted
Speaker 1: her to have this real, genuine conversation with him. Was
Speaker 1: over an hour. She was talking to each and every
Speaker 1: character on Mr Rogers and Neighborhood, and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden we heard her say, I'm afraid I'm going to
Speaker 1: die and leave my brother and my parents. And then
Speaker 1: we heard her say really, Mr Rogers, really, King Friday,
Speaker 1: and she hung up the phone saying I love you too,
Speaker 1: Mr Rogers, thank you so much. I love you King Friday.
Speaker 1: I love you Elaine Lady Elaine fear Child, and I
Speaker 1: love you Daniel Strike Tiger, thank you for calling me.
Speaker 1: And I am going to be okay, and she hung
Speaker 1: up the phone and we were in a puddle. We
Speaker 1: just couldn't believe it. That February, the family made the
Speaker 1: trip to Johns Hopkins for the surgery. The operation was long,
Speaker 1: about twelve hours, and at first things for Beth looked good.
Speaker 1: The surgery went well, and then later that night she
Speaker 1: fell into a deep coma. We were killing ourselves, like,
Speaker 1: what did we do? You know, at that point we
Speaker 1: thought for sure we made the wrong decision. We were begging,
Speaker 1: praying to God, please just let her wake up from this.
Speaker 1: If she can't walk or talk, we don't care, just
Speaker 1: let her come out of it. And we did not
Speaker 1: leave her side. We were in the intensive care the
Speaker 1: entire time. Brian and Cathy said at Beth's bedside night
Speaker 1: after night for weeks, and one source of constant comfort
Speaker 1: was the music of Mr Rogers. Before her surgery, after
Speaker 1: he spoke to her on the phone, he sent her
Speaker 1: a huge box of tapes, cassette tapes, and we had
Speaker 1: this little tiny Fisher Price battery operated tape player, and
Speaker 1: all around the clock we would play songs. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful day in the neighborhood. You can go down, You'll
Speaker 1: never go down the drain, and we would play them
Speaker 1: over and over when she was in a coma. One
Speaker 1: of my vivid memories is going into the intensive care
Speaker 1: unit and she was strapped up to every thing imaginable,
Speaker 1: all kinds of I v s and her head was
Speaker 1: swollen like three times the size. Her eyes were swollen shut,
Speaker 1: and you could hear the beep beep beep of the
Speaker 1: heart monitor and the dripping of all the i vs.
Speaker 1: And in the background you hear there are many ways
Speaker 1: to say I love you, Mr Rogers in the backgrounds.
Speaker 1: That was constantly going on in the room. Anyways, anyways,
Speaker 1: more from the Ushers in just a minute, love you.
Speaker 1: After her brain surgery, Beth Usher fell into a deep coma.
Speaker 1: Her parents, Kathy and Brian, kept Mr Rogers music playing
Speaker 1: in her room. One night, a nurse came into Beth's
Speaker 1: room and said, Cathy, there's a man with a voice
Speaker 1: sounding like Mr Rogers, claiming he is Fred Rogers and
Speaker 1: he'd like to speak with you. And I went to
Speaker 1: the desk and I picked it up and he said, Cathy,
Speaker 1: this is Fred, and I'm getting concerned. I wanted to
Speaker 1: find out how Beth was, and I said, um, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for calling, but unfortunately there were major
Speaker 1: complications and Beth has been in a coma now for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. And he said, I'd like to come.
Speaker 1: I won't stay long, I promise, and um, so we
Speaker 1: said okay. So a couple of days later and he
Speaker 1: walked with a clarinet case. He placed it on Beth's
Speaker 1: bed and he opened it slowly and took out King Friday,
Speaker 1: Lady Elaine Fairchild, Daniel Striped Tiger, and Mio Mio pussy
Speaker 1: Gat and Beth had her own neighborhood's show. I just
Speaker 1: remember he was so genuinely concerned about Beth. He insisted
Speaker 1: we take pictures with the puppets and Beth he's got
Speaker 1: her feeding tube and she's hooked up the machines. And
Speaker 1: I think what touched me the most was when he sang,
Speaker 1: I love you just the way you are. It was
Speaker 1: my dad, your mom, a few of my sisters, and
Speaker 1: we were just outside the door of the room, and
Speaker 1: I remember hearing that outside the door, and I looked
Speaker 1: around at everybody, and even my dad had tears streaming
Speaker 1: down their faces, and I remember just thinking, what am
Speaker 1: I seeing here, this is incredible, and I honestly believed
Speaker 1: Beth was going to wake up, that's how magical it was.
Speaker 1: And when she didn't, I'm sorry, Mom, you know um,
Speaker 1: but I remember afterwards we held hands around her bed
Speaker 1: and we prayed, and that really gave us so much comfort.
Speaker 1: I just remember feeling as though things are going to
Speaker 1: be okay. Don't don't worry. It has a happy ending.
Speaker 1: Beth Asher finally came out of her coma about three
Speaker 1: weeks later. Mr George left all of his puppets. Oh
Speaker 1: on my bed should I wouldn't wake up and be alone?
Speaker 1: So I knew he came somehow. The surgery um it
Speaker 1: left her hemiplegic, paralyzed on the right side, but it
Speaker 1: also took away her right field of vision in both
Speaker 1: eyes and and speaking and speaking because half of her
Speaker 1: tongue is paralyzed. I talk it goodly now, but her
Speaker 1: hearing is perfect, So it's now. Beth and Mr Rogers
Speaker 1: corresponded throughout the years. He wrote many, many letters and
Speaker 1: even called Beth birthday. Kathy and I both worked at
Speaker 1: the University of Connecticut. Mom was put in charge of
Speaker 1: finding someone for the commencement speaking, and so I suggested,
Speaker 1: why not get Mr Rodgels and my mom and my
Speaker 1: dad will both nervous that college kids I won't get
Speaker 1: to listen to Mr Rodgels, And I said, no, no,
Speaker 1: I think they'll listen. So I went ahead. I wrote
Speaker 1: him a little He got right back to me, and
Speaker 1: he said he would be delighted to, under one circumstance,
Speaker 1: if I help him write his commencement address. I was
Speaker 1: only two, you know, jow it at the time. So
Speaker 1: Mr Rogers came and Brian and I have been involved
Speaker 1: and intended a lot of graduation ceremonies, and we could
Speaker 1: never quite hear the commencement address. The champagne corks going off,
Speaker 1: the balloons and balls that are being bounced around in
Speaker 1: this ceremony, you could hear a pin drop. And during
Speaker 1: the address, he pointed to Beth in the audience and
Speaker 1: he said, these words were provided to me by my
Speaker 1: good friend Beth Usher. And what what what was the
Speaker 1: main point of your advice to him when you wrote
Speaker 1: back to him, do small kind each for other people.
Speaker 1: Then they'll do small kind eats for other people and
Speaker 1: maybe we'll start a chain reaction. And he also did
Speaker 1: the take a moment to think about someone who helped you.
Speaker 1: Fred Rogers did this often in speeches, asked crowds to
Speaker 1: sit quietly and reflect on the people they love and
Speaker 1: the people who love them. Like in this commencement address
Speaker 1: at Dartmouth College, I'd like to give you all an
Speaker 1: invisible gift, a gift of a silent minute to think
Speaker 1: about those who have helped you become who you are today.
Speaker 1: Wherever they are, if they've loved you and encouraged you
Speaker 1: and wanted what was best in life for you, they're
Speaker 1: right inside yourself, and I feel that you deserve quiet
Speaker 1: time on this special occasion to devote some thought to them.
Speaker 1: So let's just take a minute in honor of those
Speaker 1: who have heard about us all along the way, one
Speaker 1: silent minute. I have goose bumps now when you look
Speaker 1: around at the audiences and students and parents, you just
Speaker 1: see them like these big burly football basketball athletes with
Speaker 1: tears streaming down their eyes. Um when when they were
Speaker 1: asked to think about somebody who really helped them along
Speaker 1: the way, Whomever you've been thinking about, Imagine how grateful
Speaker 1: they must be that during your silent times you remember
Speaker 1: how important they are to you. At the end of
Speaker 1: the speech that Mr Rodgers gave, the President of Yukon
Speaker 1: gave Mr Rodgers a present and it was this engraved
Speaker 1: jewelry box and he hands it to my brother Brian
Speaker 1: and said keep it until we meet again. He was
Speaker 1: so aware that Beth's brother was kind of in the background,
Speaker 1: and everybody was paying so much attention to Bath, as
Speaker 1: they should. He made a point of asking him about
Speaker 1: his life, about what he enjoyed doing, and Mr Rogers
Speaker 1: paying attention to him really was huge, and he knew that.
Speaker 1: One day I came home from work. I was making dinner.
Speaker 1: I remember it profoundly. I was trying to make spaghetti
Speaker 1: and meatballs, and I was rushing around multitasking, and the
Speaker 1: phone rang and I picked it up, and he said, Kathy,
Speaker 1: is this a good time to talk? This is Fred
Speaker 1: And I went, oh, no, Fred, this is perfect. How
Speaker 1: are you? He said, I just have a quick question.
Speaker 1: Beth and Brian seemed to have such great self esteem,
Speaker 1: and I just want to know what your philosophy is
Speaker 1: and how you go about raising your children to have
Speaker 1: such great self esteem. And I'm going on and on
Speaker 1: and in the meantime, Brian comes home from work and
Speaker 1: he's kind of listening to my side of the conversation.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, Fred, oh, of to you and
Speaker 1: Joanne and and I hung up the phone. And Brian
Speaker 1: said to me, who were you talking to? And I
Speaker 1: said Mr Rogers And he said you we're telling Mr
Speaker 1: Rogers about children and self esteem like and afterward I went, oh,
Speaker 1: my goodness, what did I say. I'm telling the Guru
Speaker 1: of children. Um. But that that was how he was.
Speaker 1: He didn't feel he had all the answers he was
Speaker 1: asking everybody else. Fred was always learning, always curious, always listening,
Speaker 1: and he was always there. I mean, there's so many
Speaker 1: stories about Fred showing up in surprising places, about his
Speaker 1: kindness to people that he didn't even know. Kindness and
Speaker 1: presence were what Fred believed in, maybe because that's what
Speaker 1: God was for him, what goodness really meant, love and
Speaker 1: of availability. So that's what he did as much as
Speaker 1: he could in person and through his show. Next time.
Speaker 1: Fred didn't call Mr Rogers Neighborhood a show, and he
Speaker 1: didn't call it a program. What he called it was
Speaker 1: a television visit. Think of what a visit is. A
Speaker 1: visit is you and me together. He was talking with us,
Speaker 1: not to us. Finding Fred is produced by Transmitter Media.
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Jordan Bailey. Our editor is
Speaker 1: Sarah Nick's Special thanks to Michael Garofolo. The executive producer
Speaker 1: for Transmitter Media is Greta Cone. Executive producers at Fatherly
Speaker 1: are Simon Isaacs and Andrew Berman. Thanks to the team
Speaker 1: at I Heeart Media, and thanks also to Beth Brian
Speaker 1: and Kathy Usher. Our show is mixed by Rick Kwan,
Speaker 1: music by Blue Dot Sessions and Alison Layton Brown. I'm
Speaker 1: Carver Wallace. Thank you for listening.