WEBVTT - Beth

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<v Speaker 1>She was at the top of the seesaw and I

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<v Speaker 1>guess whoever was on the bottom got off. She came down.

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<v Speaker 1>She hit her head, but she went through the day.

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<v Speaker 1>She was okay. But later that afternoon she had a

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<v Speaker 1>seizure and I noticed immediately that the right side of

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<v Speaker 1>her face was drooping and she was talking out of

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<v Speaker 1>the left side. That's Brian and Kathy Usher. They're talking

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<v Speaker 1>about their daughter, Beth. She had a very rare neurological encephalitis.

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<v Speaker 1>Every minute or so she would have like either these jerks.

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<v Speaker 1>They'd throw her to the ground, off a chair, a

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<v Speaker 1>fork would go flying, whatever was in her hand. It was,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, not a good time. The day we left

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<v Speaker 1>Johns Hopkins, their last words to us, um it was

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<v Speaker 1>go home and enjoy life and let's hope she has

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<v Speaker 1>ten good years. And then that was in seven and

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<v Speaker 1>Beth just turned forty. Thanks Mar and Gathy. Just more

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<v Speaker 1>keep that off the podcast. I'm Carla Wallace and this

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<v Speaker 1>is Finding Fred, a podcast about Fred Rogers from I

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<v Speaker 1>Heart Media and Fatherly in partnership with Transmitter Media. Today.

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<v Speaker 1>Just one story I really wish I could remember. I

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<v Speaker 1>was so young at the time about Fred Rogers and

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<v Speaker 1>a kid named Beth. I only remember through stories that

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<v Speaker 1>Mom and Dad told me. It's slowly built up to

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<v Speaker 1>where she was having over a hundred seizures a day,

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<v Speaker 1>some so severe they would knock her down and she

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<v Speaker 1>would be flailing, and we were worried she couldn't breathe.

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<v Speaker 1>And I would go into grocery stores or church or whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>and people would look at me and look at her

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<v Speaker 1>because she was black and blue from head to toe

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<v Speaker 1>from falling. We were watching this deterioration happened, and every

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<v Speaker 1>time we went to the doctor, they had no idea

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<v Speaker 1>what was going on. It was so crazy that we

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<v Speaker 1>even tore apart of bedroom, thinking maybe she was bit

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<v Speaker 1>by a spider. Maybe there was a spider in the room.

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<v Speaker 1>You know. We were constantly calling all over the place

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<v Speaker 1>to try to learn of new drugs, new studies being done.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't you doctor was checking and go into the library.

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<v Speaker 1>I even borrowed a doctor's lab coat and broke into

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<v Speaker 1>Yale University's medical library because they weren't allowed owing anybody

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<v Speaker 1>in there. We felt like we were on Twilight Zone

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<v Speaker 1>because here something is obviously eating away at our child's brain.

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<v Speaker 1>We're watching it happen, you think like you have an

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<v Speaker 1>ill child and the world should come together and make

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<v Speaker 1>this child better. But no one had any idea what

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<v Speaker 1>was going on. We tried just about everything and um

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<v Speaker 1>in order for us to get ready for work in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning, we had to PLoP Beth up with a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of pillows in front of the television set, and

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<v Speaker 1>we instructed her older brother, he's Brian, he's older by

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<v Speaker 1>two and a half years, to sit with her with

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<v Speaker 1>his arms around her, and they were surrounded by pillows

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<v Speaker 1>watching Mr Rogers neighborhood and he called, he said, mom,

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<v Speaker 1>and I came running immediately, and he said Mr. Wadgers

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<v Speaker 1>is over with and Beth didn't have a seizure. And

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<v Speaker 1>then the next day the same thing happened, and the

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<v Speaker 1>next day after that, I said, this is very peculiar.

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<v Speaker 1>So then I sat down with her and I just

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<v Speaker 1>looked at her, and her eyes were just she was

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<v Speaker 1>inside that television screen, and it was like that he

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<v Speaker 1>was talking directly to her, even so that when he

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<v Speaker 1>would ask a question like shall we feed the fish today,

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<v Speaker 1>Beth would say, yes, we should. And at the end

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<v Speaker 1>of every episode he would say, I love you, just

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<v Speaker 1>the way you are, and Beth would say, I love

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<v Speaker 1>you too, Mr Rogers, and she would not have one seizure.

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<v Speaker 1>After two and a half years of research, constant seizures,

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<v Speaker 1>and makes of treatments, Beth and her parents finally got

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<v Speaker 1>a diagnosis rest Mussan's encephalitis. It's an extremely rare and

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<v Speaker 1>progressive disease that attacks the brain. The only treatment is

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<v Speaker 1>at that time, was to remove the entire left side

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<v Speaker 1>of her brain. You just can't fathom that type of surgery.

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<v Speaker 1>And I couldn't imagine doing that left there. So now

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<v Speaker 1>we're not doing that. We even consulted a neurosurgeon at

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<v Speaker 1>Yale who said that they would not even put a

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<v Speaker 1>dog through that. And then Bethy kept getting worse, and

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<v Speaker 1>I mean impacted her whole life, I mean her learning

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<v Speaker 1>her friendships. It was. It was a nightmare. We were

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<v Speaker 1>all petrified. We didn't go anywhere. We shut down as

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<v Speaker 1>a family. Um, we were afraid to leave her anywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't. One of us was with her all the

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<v Speaker 1>time around the cloth. Yeah. Finally, I think what pushed

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<v Speaker 1>us over the edge. It was a holiday show and

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<v Speaker 1>BETHI had prepared for it and singing a song with

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<v Speaker 1>her classmates. I think you were in what first grade

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<v Speaker 1>at the time, and it was bomb remember that. And

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<v Speaker 1>so the night of the show, we were there and

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<v Speaker 1>she has a seizure right in the middle. Bow had

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<v Speaker 1>to help her fixed seizure, and she looked at us

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<v Speaker 1>and said, I ruined the whole thing. And she said,

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<v Speaker 1>these seizures, I just want them to go away. So

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<v Speaker 1>they decided to go ahead with the brain surgery known

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<v Speaker 1>as a hemisphere ectomy, and they scheduled it for the

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<v Speaker 1>following February. That gave them two months at home with

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<v Speaker 1>Beth before the surgery. We knew that there was a

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<v Speaker 1>possibility that Beth could fall into a coma, she could

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<v Speaker 1>be paralyzed for life, and she could even die from

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<v Speaker 1>this surgery. We wanted to make the time before her

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<v Speaker 1>surgery spectacular. So Cathy found the number for Fred Rogers

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<v Speaker 1>TV station and explained to his assistant that her daughter

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<v Speaker 1>was going in for a horrendous surgery. Kathy asked for

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<v Speaker 1>an autograph photo of Mr Rogers to tape up in

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<v Speaker 1>the hospital room, and she said, I will, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>talk to Fred and get back to you. And maybe

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<v Speaker 1>an hour later I got a call and she said,

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<v Speaker 1>Fred is going to call Beth at seven o'clock this evening.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that good for you? And I said he's going

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<v Speaker 1>to call her. The phone rang and I picked it

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<v Speaker 1>up and I said to Beth, Beth, a friend is

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<v Speaker 1>calling for you. And at this point Beth had no friends,

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<v Speaker 1>so thinking that a friend was on the line was

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<v Speaker 1>really unbelievable. And she ran over and I gave her

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<v Speaker 1>the phone and she's skilled, it's squilled Mr Rogers. Bummy, dad,

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<v Speaker 1>it's Mr Rogers. Brian and I left the room. We

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<v Speaker 1>were peeking over around the corner because she we wanted

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<v Speaker 1>her to have this real, genuine conversation with him. Was

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<v Speaker 1>over an hour. She was talking to each and every

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<v Speaker 1>character on Mr Rogers and Neighborhood, and all of a

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<v Speaker 1>sudden we heard her say, I'm afraid I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>die and leave my brother and my parents. And then

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<v Speaker 1>we heard her say really, Mr Rogers, really, King Friday,

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<v Speaker 1>and she hung up the phone saying I love you too,

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<v Speaker 1>Mr Rogers, thank you so much. I love you King Friday.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you Elaine Lady Elaine fear Child, and I

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<v Speaker 1>love you Daniel Strike Tiger, thank you for calling me.

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<v Speaker 1>And I am going to be okay, and she hung

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<v Speaker 1>up the phone and we were in a puddle. We

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<v Speaker 1>just couldn't believe it. That February, the family made the

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<v Speaker 1>trip to Johns Hopkins for the surgery. The operation was long,

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<v Speaker 1>about twelve hours, and at first things for Beth looked good.

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<v Speaker 1>The surgery went well, and then later that night she

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<v Speaker 1>fell into a deep coma. We were killing ourselves, like,

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<v Speaker 1>what did we do? You know, at that point we

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<v Speaker 1>thought for sure we made the wrong decision. We were begging,

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<v Speaker 1>praying to God, please just let her wake up from this.

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<v Speaker 1>If she can't walk or talk, we don't care, just

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<v Speaker 1>let her come out of it. And we did not

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<v Speaker 1>leave her side. We were in the intensive care the

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<v Speaker 1>entire time. Brian and Cathy said at Beth's bedside night

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<v Speaker 1>after night for weeks, and one source of constant comfort

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<v Speaker 1>was the music of Mr Rogers. Before her surgery, after

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<v Speaker 1>he spoke to her on the phone, he sent her

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<v Speaker 1>a huge box of tapes, cassette tapes, and we had

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<v Speaker 1>this little tiny Fisher Price battery operated tape player, and

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<v Speaker 1>all around the clock we would play songs. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful day in the neighborhood. You can go down, You'll

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<v Speaker 1>never go down the drain, and we would play them

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<v Speaker 1>over and over when she was in a coma. One

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<v Speaker 1>of my vivid memories is going into the intensive care

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<v Speaker 1>unit and she was strapped up to every thing imaginable,

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<v Speaker 1>all kinds of I v s and her head was

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<v Speaker 1>swollen like three times the size. Her eyes were swollen shut,

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<v Speaker 1>and you could hear the beep beep beep of the

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<v Speaker 1>heart monitor and the dripping of all the i vs.

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<v Speaker 1>And in the background you hear there are many ways

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<v Speaker 1>to say I love you, Mr Rogers in the backgrounds.

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<v Speaker 1>That was constantly going on in the room. Anyways, anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>more from the Ushers in just a minute, love you.

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<v Speaker 1>After her brain surgery, Beth Usher fell into a deep coma.

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<v Speaker 1>Her parents, Kathy and Brian, kept Mr Rogers music playing

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<v Speaker 1>in her room. One night, a nurse came into Beth's

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<v Speaker 1>room and said, Cathy, there's a man with a voice

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<v Speaker 1>sounding like Mr Rogers, claiming he is Fred Rogers and

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<v Speaker 1>he'd like to speak with you. And I went to

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<v Speaker 1>the desk and I picked it up and he said, Cathy,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Fred, and I'm getting concerned. I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>find out how Beth was, and I said, um, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you so much for calling, but unfortunately there were major

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<v Speaker 1>complications and Beth has been in a coma now for

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of weeks. And he said, I'd like to come.

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<v Speaker 1>I won't stay long, I promise, and um, so we

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<v Speaker 1>said okay. So a couple of days later and he

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<v Speaker 1>walked with a clarinet case. He placed it on Beth's

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<v Speaker 1>bed and he opened it slowly and took out King Friday,

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<v Speaker 1>Lady Elaine Fairchild, Daniel Striped Tiger, and Mio Mio pussy

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<v Speaker 1>Gat and Beth had her own neighborhood's show. I just

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<v Speaker 1>remember he was so genuinely concerned about Beth. He insisted

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<v Speaker 1>we take pictures with the puppets and Beth he's got

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<v Speaker 1>her feeding tube and she's hooked up the machines. And

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<v Speaker 1>I think what touched me the most was when he sang,

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<v Speaker 1>I love you just the way you are. It was

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<v Speaker 1>my dad, your mom, a few of my sisters, and

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<v Speaker 1>we were just outside the door of the room, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember hearing that outside the door, and I looked

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<v Speaker 1>around at everybody, and even my dad had tears streaming

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<v Speaker 1>down their faces, and I remember just thinking, what am

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<v Speaker 1>I seeing here, this is incredible, and I honestly believed

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<v Speaker 1>Beth was going to wake up, that's how magical it was.

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<v Speaker 1>And when she didn't, I'm sorry, Mom, you know um,

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<v Speaker 1>but I remember afterwards we held hands around her bed

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<v Speaker 1>and we prayed, and that really gave us so much comfort.

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<v Speaker 1>I just remember feeling as though things are going to

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<v Speaker 1>be okay. Don't don't worry. It has a happy ending.

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<v Speaker 1>Beth Asher finally came out of her coma about three

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<v Speaker 1>weeks later. Mr George left all of his puppets. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>on my bed should I wouldn't wake up and be alone?

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<v Speaker 1>So I knew he came somehow. The surgery um it

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<v Speaker 1>left her hemiplegic, paralyzed on the right side, but it

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<v Speaker 1>also took away her right field of vision in both

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<v Speaker 1>eyes and and speaking and speaking because half of her

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<v Speaker 1>tongue is paralyzed. I talk it goodly now, but her

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<v Speaker 1>hearing is perfect, So it's now. Beth and Mr Rogers

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<v Speaker 1>corresponded throughout the years. He wrote many, many letters and

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<v Speaker 1>even called Beth birthday. Kathy and I both worked at

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<v Speaker 1>the University of Connecticut. Mom was put in charge of

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<v Speaker 1>finding someone for the commencement speaking, and so I suggested,

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<v Speaker 1>why not get Mr Rodgels and my mom and my

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<v Speaker 1>dad will both nervous that college kids I won't get

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<v Speaker 1>to listen to Mr Rodgels, And I said, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I think they'll listen. So I went ahead. I wrote

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<v Speaker 1>him a little He got right back to me, and

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<v Speaker 1>he said he would be delighted to, under one circumstance,

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<v Speaker 1>if I help him write his commencement address. I was

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<v Speaker 1>only two, you know, jow it at the time. So

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<v Speaker 1>Mr Rogers came and Brian and I have been involved

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<v Speaker 1>and intended a lot of graduation ceremonies, and we could

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<v Speaker 1>never quite hear the commencement address. The champagne corks going off,

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<v Speaker 1>the balloons and balls that are being bounced around in

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<v Speaker 1>this ceremony, you could hear a pin drop. And during

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<v Speaker 1>the address, he pointed to Beth in the audience and

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<v Speaker 1>he said, these words were provided to me by my

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<v Speaker 1>good friend Beth Usher. And what what what was the

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<v Speaker 1>main point of your advice to him when you wrote

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<v Speaker 1>back to him, do small kind each for other people.

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<v Speaker 1>Then they'll do small kind eats for other people and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we'll start a chain reaction. And he also did

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<v Speaker 1>the take a moment to think about someone who helped you.

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Fred Rogers did this often in speeches, asked crowds to

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.159
<v Speaker 1>sit quietly and reflect on the people they love and

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:15.199
<v Speaker 1>the people who love them. Like in this commencement address

0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:18.200
<v Speaker 1>at Dartmouth College, I'd like to give you all an

0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 1>invisible gift, a gift of a silent minute to think

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:29.880
<v Speaker 1>about those who have helped you become who you are today.

0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Wherever they are, if they've loved you and encouraged you

0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:42.639
<v Speaker 1>and wanted what was best in life for you, they're

0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:47.920
<v Speaker 1>right inside yourself, and I feel that you deserve quiet

0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:55.879
<v Speaker 1>time on this special occasion to devote some thought to them.

0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:59.240
<v Speaker 1>So let's just take a minute in honor of those

0:18:59.320 --> 0:19:04.840
<v Speaker 1>who have heard about us all along the way, one

0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:14.080
<v Speaker 1>silent minute. I have goose bumps now when you look

0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:19.919
<v Speaker 1>around at the audiences and students and parents, you just

0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:25.520
<v Speaker 1>see them like these big burly football basketball athletes with

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:30.280
<v Speaker 1>tears streaming down their eyes. Um when when they were

0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:34.560
<v Speaker 1>asked to think about somebody who really helped them along

0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:51.800
<v Speaker 1>the way, Whomever you've been thinking about, Imagine how grateful

0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:57.600
<v Speaker 1>they must be that during your silent times you remember

0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:05.040
<v Speaker 1>how important they are to you. At the end of

0:20:05.080 --> 0:20:08.639
<v Speaker 1>the speech that Mr Rodgers gave, the President of Yukon

0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:12.440
<v Speaker 1>gave Mr Rodgers a present and it was this engraved

0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.560
<v Speaker 1>jewelry box and he hands it to my brother Brian

0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:21.320
<v Speaker 1>and said keep it until we meet again. He was

0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:27.440
<v Speaker 1>so aware that Beth's brother was kind of in the background,

0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:32.080
<v Speaker 1>and everybody was paying so much attention to Bath, as

0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:37.800
<v Speaker 1>they should. He made a point of asking him about

0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:43.160
<v Speaker 1>his life, about what he enjoyed doing, and Mr Rogers

0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:47.840
<v Speaker 1>paying attention to him really was huge, and he knew that.

0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.439
<v Speaker 1>One day I came home from work. I was making dinner.

0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:13.240
<v Speaker 1>I remember it profoundly. I was trying to make spaghetti

0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:17.359
<v Speaker 1>and meatballs, and I was rushing around multitasking, and the

0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:20.680
<v Speaker 1>phone rang and I picked it up, and he said, Kathy,

0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:23.800
<v Speaker 1>is this a good time to talk? This is Fred

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:27.920
<v Speaker 1>And I went, oh, no, Fred, this is perfect. How

0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:31.080
<v Speaker 1>are you? He said, I just have a quick question.

0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:36.480
<v Speaker 1>Beth and Brian seemed to have such great self esteem,

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:40.800
<v Speaker 1>and I just want to know what your philosophy is

0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:45.399
<v Speaker 1>and how you go about raising your children to have

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:49.720
<v Speaker 1>such great self esteem. And I'm going on and on

0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:53.639
<v Speaker 1>and in the meantime, Brian comes home from work and

0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:57.480
<v Speaker 1>he's kind of listening to my side of the conversation.

0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:00.639
<v Speaker 1>And I said, okay, Fred, oh, of to you and

0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Joanne and and I hung up the phone. And Brian

0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:06.840
<v Speaker 1>said to me, who were you talking to? And I

0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:12.120
<v Speaker 1>said Mr Rogers And he said you we're telling Mr

0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Rogers about children and self esteem like and afterward I went, oh,

0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:21.560
<v Speaker 1>my goodness, what did I say. I'm telling the Guru

0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:25.679
<v Speaker 1>of children. Um. But that that was how he was.

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:29.879
<v Speaker 1>He didn't feel he had all the answers he was

0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:37.080
<v Speaker 1>asking everybody else. Fred was always learning, always curious, always listening,

0:22:37.520 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 1>and he was always there. I mean, there's so many

0:22:41.119 --> 0:22:45.439
<v Speaker 1>stories about Fred showing up in surprising places, about his

0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:50.240
<v Speaker 1>kindness to people that he didn't even know. Kindness and

0:22:50.280 --> 0:22:54.760
<v Speaker 1>presence were what Fred believed in, maybe because that's what

0:22:55.000 --> 0:22:59.560
<v Speaker 1>God was for him, what goodness really meant, love and

0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:04.320
<v Speaker 1>of availability. So that's what he did as much as

0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:13.000
<v Speaker 1>he could in person and through his show. Next time.

0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:16.399
<v Speaker 1>Fred didn't call Mr Rogers Neighborhood a show, and he

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:19.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't call it a program. What he called it was

0:23:19.600 --> 0:23:23.560
<v Speaker 1>a television visit. Think of what a visit is. A

0:23:23.720 --> 0:23:28.359
<v Speaker 1>visit is you and me together. He was talking with us,

0:23:28.560 --> 0:23:34.919
<v Speaker 1>not to us. Finding Fred is produced by Transmitter Media.

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:38.720
<v Speaker 1>This episode was produced by Jordan Bailey. Our editor is

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:42.600
<v Speaker 1>Sarah Nick's Special thanks to Michael Garofolo. The executive producer

0:23:42.600 --> 0:23:46.560
<v Speaker 1>for Transmitter Media is Greta Cone. Executive producers at Fatherly

0:23:46.640 --> 0:23:49.800
<v Speaker 1>are Simon Isaacs and Andrew Berman. Thanks to the team

0:23:49.800 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 1>at I Heeart Media, and thanks also to Beth Brian

0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:57.240
<v Speaker 1>and Kathy Usher. Our show is mixed by Rick Kwan,

0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:01.320
<v Speaker 1>music by Blue Dot Sessions and Alison Layton Brown. I'm

0:24:01.359 --> 0:24:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Carver Wallace. Thank you for listening.