1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Time now for my Strawberry Letter for today. And if 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight, 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 8 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: All right, Thank you, nephew. Subject to his wife's picture 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: is on the nightstand. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a fifty 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: three year old single female and I've been casually dating 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: a man for three years. His wife died six years ago, 12 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: and he's a single dad raising a daughter. He lives 13 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: in my complex and when we met, we instantly clicked 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: and started dating. After a few months of dating, he 15 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: told me he wanted to take a break so he 16 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: could focus on his daughter. That was three years ago, 17 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: and I showed support by cooking for him occasionally and 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: showing up at some of his daughter's basketball games. He 19 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: was happy that I was so understanding. Recently, we talked 20 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: about getting back together and I told him that's all 21 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,279 Speaker 1: I ever wanted. We decided to be exclusive and talked 22 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 1: a lot about our future together. But there's one thing, 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,759 Speaker 1: one problem, and I need your advice. When I'm over 24 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: at his place, I am bothered by the constant reminders 25 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: of his wife. The kitchen is just as she left it, 26 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: down to the notes on the fridge. Then I spent 27 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: the night with him and I was shocked to see 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: a picture of him and his wife on the nightstand. 29 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 1: The picture was not there three years ago when I 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: stayed with him. I told him that the picture made 31 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: me uncomfortable, and he said it had been in his 32 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: drawer for years, and his daughter found it and put 33 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: it by his bed. I can't tell this man how 34 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: to grieve the loss of his wife, and I feel 35 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,559 Speaker 1: sorry for his daughter, but I'm not going to act 36 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: like this is okay. There are several family pictures throughout 37 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: the house, and I try to overlook them. He's a 38 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: great man. He loves that we can be honest with 39 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: each other about everything. So is this one of the 40 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 1: things I should be honest about? How should I handle this? Well? 41 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: If you guys have that agreement that you can be 42 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: honest with each other, yeah, you can be honest about it. 43 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: I think you are right. You cannot tell this man 44 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: how long to grieve. You can't do that. It's his 45 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,799 Speaker 1: late wife and it was six years ago, so it's 46 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,519 Speaker 1: going to take however long it's going to take. I mean, 47 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: these things do take time. But you can certainly help 48 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: him move forward and find happiness again. You've been a 49 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: supportive friend, you said, with the cooking and going to 50 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: his daughter's basketball games and things like that. But after 51 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: three years, I think it's definitely time to move the 52 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: relationship out of the casual zone. You guys have decided 53 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: to do that, and that's a good thing. You want 54 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: to be exclusive because what you don't want is for 55 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: another woman to come in and just swoop him from 56 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: right to your nose. You said, he's a great man. 57 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: You don't want that. I really think you should. You know, 58 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 1: not let the pictures bother you so much. Okay, it 59 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: just considered a sweet memory of his late wife for 60 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: him and his baby girl, his daughter. I mean, you 61 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: were gone for a while, so they just put the 62 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: pictures back out. I think in due time, once you 63 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: guys get closer, more serious, maybe marriage, and because I'm 64 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 1: sure that's what you want, you can move the pictures, 65 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: maybe to the office or to the family room. Hopefully 66 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: the daughter won't be offended by that and she won't 67 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: resent you for that. If you still, you know, want 68 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: to bring it up, I just say, you know, be 69 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: kind about it, be patient, wait for the right moment, 70 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: don't say anything crazy. I think it's a good thing 71 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: that you're helping him move on with your life. And 72 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: I you know, I wish you guys the best. Steve 73 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: three year old lady casually dating a man for three years. 74 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: Casually dating takes this letter all out of focus for me. 75 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: His wife died six years ago. He's a single dad 76 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: raising a daughter. He lives in my complex and when 77 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: we met, we clicked instantly and started dating. After a 78 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: few months of dating, he told me he wanted to 79 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: take a break so he could focus on his daughter. 80 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: What what man tells a woman he gonna stop seeing 81 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: her so he can focus on his daughter? You fifty 82 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: three howl? Is this man? So let's see here? Was 83 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 1: his wife a little bit younger? Maybe his wife was forty, 84 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 1: his daughter's twenty living at home. I don't know. I 85 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 1: don't know, but I don't know. Nobody that tells a 86 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: woman y'all wasn't doing number casually dating. You said that yourself, 87 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 1: he don't want to see you no more because he 88 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: want to spend some time with his daughter. Okay, cool, 89 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: it's over, But it wasn't really over then. That was 90 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: three years ago, and you kept on hanging in there by, 91 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: cooking for him, occasionally show him up some of his 92 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: daughters basketball games. Okay, so she probably high school or college, 93 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: one or the two. He was happy that she was understanding. Recently, 94 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: recently we talked about getting back together, and I told 95 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: him that's all I ever wanted. Y'all have talked about 96 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: being together before. That's what broke y'all up after the 97 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: three years of casual dating. Huh, do you understand what 98 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 1: I'm saying to you? But there's one problem. I need 99 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: your advice. When I'm over at his place, I'm bothered 100 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: by the constant reminders of the wife. The kitchen is 101 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: just as she left it. Well, he wasn't in that cookie, 102 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: so she left some of stuff. He liked. Where where 103 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: she hung the pot she liked. He liked where she 104 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: put the spoons, He liked the way the stuff is 105 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: just habit. What sway she dying? There, let's change his 106 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: kitchen round because it's too much like your damn mama. 107 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: What was he posts say to his daughter? And then said, 108 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: I spent the night with him, and I was shocked 109 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: to see a picture of him and his wife on 110 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: the nightstand. They slept in that bed. That ain't bother 111 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: the ass. Not a picture got you tripping. She's looking 112 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: at us, she is, said that woman that she looking 113 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,679 Speaker 1: at us. She is well at first two of Steve's 114 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 1: response her bad at twenty three minutes after the damn husband. 115 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: We'll be back at twenty three minutes after the hour. 116 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: Subject for today his wife's pictures on the nightstand. We'll 117 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening Steve 118 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap 119 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letters. Subject his wife's picture is on the nightstand. 120 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: This lady dating this man. Wife been deceased. He raised 121 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: his daughter. They broke up so he could spend time 122 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: with his daughter. That's what he told her, which ain't true. 123 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: They've been talking about getting back together. You for the 124 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: three years, been cooking for him. You said, that's all 125 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: you've ever wanted. And then y'all started talking about y'all's 126 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 1: future together. But here the problem she got. When I'm 127 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: over at his place, I'm bothered by the constant reminders 128 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: of his wife. Ah, you mean, like that's her house 129 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: that wanted to remind us you talking about you come up, 130 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 1: that's the cow she sat home, that's her TV. That's 131 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: where she arranged her living room. And then and then 132 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: she said, the kitchen is just as she left it, 133 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: down to the notes on the refrigerator. Eat your vegetables, 134 00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: back up some milk. I love you having ain't staying Oh, 135 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: that's getting on your damn nerves. When I spent the 136 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: night with him, I was shocked to see a picture 137 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: of him and his wife on the knife stand she 138 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: lived down. That was a picture of him on the 139 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: knife stand. Befoul Now, she said, the picture was not 140 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: that three years ago when I stayed with it. But 141 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: you've been going for a while, he probably said to 142 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: his daughter. I showed mission mom, and she said with Dad, 143 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put the picture back out for you. Now, 144 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: if you ain't bothered by being in this woman's bead, 145 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: what the hell is this picture? Bug? And you fall? 146 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: I know why because she looking she's looking dead at you. Now, 147 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: it ain't bothered in his ass, but it's bothered in you, 148 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: you know, and it and that picture made me uncomfortably. 149 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: He said it had been in his drawer for years, 150 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: and his daughter found it and put it by his bed. 151 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,319 Speaker 1: So what are he gonna do? Take it off? You 152 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: over there? Lady, Come on now, you grow now until 153 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: this gets somewhere else. But I can't tell this man 154 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: how to grieve the loss of his wife. Okay, so 155 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: what we're typing his letter fall. I'll tell you why 156 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: because I feel sorry for his daughter. But I'm not 157 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 1: gonna act like this is okay, okay, cool, But right 158 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: now it's not your house. It's still his house, and 159 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: his daughter is there, and it's their house. Remember, see, 160 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: you just got back in se you're gonna mess around 161 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: to be out for you get back all the way 162 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: in that what you're ass fing to do? I'm just 163 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: telling you right now, your ass finn to mess around 164 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: to be out. So you said something before, That's why 165 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: he said we need a break. Now you're gonna come 166 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,079 Speaker 1: back in that trick. Oh, I'm trying to tell you 167 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: now you're gonna come back in there with this little 168 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: buffalo moved right here. I'm over here. I want all 169 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: these notes down at this kitchen, and let's change where 170 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,439 Speaker 1: these blastes and stuff is. I don't want none a 171 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: hound here no more. What your ass finn to mess 172 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: around and be out lady now, she said, And there 173 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,200 Speaker 1: are several family pictures throughout the house, and I try 174 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: to overlook them. It's family pictures. It's him, his wife's daughter. 175 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: You know, they got life together. You can't just throw 176 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: that out the wonder because your ass want to sleep 177 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: with him. That ain't the way this work, Lady, You 178 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: trip it. Man, he loved this woman he married. Huh, 179 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,599 Speaker 1: you all are casually dating. This is your words and 180 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: your letter. He loves that. I could that we can 181 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,439 Speaker 1: be honest with each other and everything. So it is 182 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: this one of the things I should be honest about. 183 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,439 Speaker 1: How should handling run over there and say something that 184 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: man about his wife. Go in there and say something 185 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: to this man about him family pictures up there on 186 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 1: the wall, and his daughters still live there, going over there, 187 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: going over there. Why don't you do this? Why don't 188 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: you have stim and stay at your house until everything 189 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: smooths out. Why don't you just do that. No, but 190 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: you want everybody taking stuff down at the house because 191 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: your ass is over there. I don't even know if 192 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: you want to consider this here, but I'm gonna just 193 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:09,000 Speaker 1: throw this head out. She ain't dead. What she coming home? 194 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: I'm just wanna throw that out there. I don't want 195 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: to put that in the mix. Why. I just want 196 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: to just put that out there for you. She ain't dead. Hey, 197 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 1: he ain't seen her. She broke it off. Heyy dog dog. 198 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: She just over cousin's house. He's been working it out. 199 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 1: She to get her sympathy vote. Okay, I don't know. Hey, 200 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,599 Speaker 1: I'm just throwing that out there. Got something for you 201 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: to consider. All these notes are still out there, and 202 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: the notes to change. You better start reading them notes careful. 203 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: You're gonna try to look at a note on the 204 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 1: Let me catch your ass in here. How about that 205 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 1: note on the refrigerator tailor? Bee, keep her hands out 206 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: from my sugar, honey, iced team, start reading not who 207 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 1: hair was that on the pillowcase? You know you better 208 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: start reading these notes real careful. Now she hunting the house. 209 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: She got another damn problem. People do not do well. 210 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: You're gonna be in the land one night, just a 211 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 1: broom handle star whooping your ass in the AMM. No, 212 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 1: we don't do well. She beating you cross the back. Wow, 213 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: she's dead. Here go another note? Did this note say? Boom? 214 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: All right, listen, we gotta get out of here. Uh. 215 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: Please post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Stephen 216 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 1: Hervey FM, Instagram, and Facebook. He's so stupid, And don't 217 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: forget to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand 218 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: now coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, 219 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: Sports Talk with Junior Sports Back so he can talk 220 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: about it, talk about it, talk about it. Right after this, 221 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show