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Speaker 1: Welcome you guys to Houchi Mama July. That's right, your

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Speaker 1: two favorite huccies of bringing you Houchie Mama July with

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Speaker 1: all the Hey, I don't know where you guys are

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Speaker 1: in the world, but it's hot where we at, So

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Speaker 1: all the Huchi Mama gear has been out and ready

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Speaker 1: to go.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you go and purchase all the Houchi Mamma

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Speaker 2: gear and.

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Speaker 3: Straddle up.

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Speaker 4: Taken this month's guest. We have some amazing guests, starting

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Speaker 4: with this week's guest. Who is Hadia Barbelle, the Ultimate

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Speaker 4: Goddess And guess what you guys, Hadia is going to

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Speaker 4: be hosting Week one of the Good Vibe Retreat in

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Speaker 4: Costa Rica. We are four weeks away from our summer retreat.

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Speaker 4: If you haven't booked your retreat, you definitely want to

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Speaker 4: trap Yoga Bay Unfortunately won't be able to join us.

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Speaker 4: She had to handle some stuff out here in the States.

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Speaker 4: But Hadia is the Ultimate Goddess and she is going

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Speaker 4: to be leading the Goddess training workshop to help us

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Speaker 4: tap into our inner goddess.

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Speaker 2: And I can't fucking wait.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Hadia is a bad, bad bitch goddess. You're so

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Speaker 1: lucky because this week's first episode of Huchi Mama July,

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Speaker 1: we bring you Hadia Barbelle so you can get to

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Speaker 1: know her a little bit more. And you, guys, it's

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Speaker 1: only four weeks away, so if you plan on intending

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Speaker 1: this life changing experience, it's time to purchase your ticket.

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Speaker 1: Don't wait, don't hesitate, don't think about it. Here's the

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Speaker 1: sign you've been waiting for. If you want to get

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Speaker 1: away for the summer, if you owe yourself a break,

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Speaker 1: if it's time to detach from all the hustle and

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Speaker 1: bustle of ghetto ass America, book your spot today.

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Speaker 4: Click the link in our bio for more information, and

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Speaker 4: make sure you follow at the Good Vibeer Tree so

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Speaker 4: you can see all of our sexy pictures of all

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Speaker 4: of our past attendees and catch all the good vibes. Anyway,

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Speaker 4: I hope you guys enjoy this episode and thanks Hadia

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Speaker 4: for joining us this week.

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Speaker 2: Enjoy Huchi of July.

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Speaker 4: M Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices America and

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Speaker 4: I'm Mila.

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Speaker 1: Happy Wednesday, everybody Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: How you feeling. I'm good, I'm good. I'm just chilling cool.

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Speaker 1: My dear scorpio friend. My god, we are here in

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Speaker 1: Atlanta are my old stomping grounds, the Black Mecca. We're

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Speaker 1: still here, y'all, and we're having a good time. I

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Speaker 1: love to be amongst my people. So I'm I'm thriving

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Speaker 1: and I'm happy with my wife and your husband and

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Speaker 1: my husband. I'm a polly queen. I'm a fucking Polly queen.

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Speaker 1: I'm really trying to master my anti jealousness. You're okay

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Speaker 1: has a boo too.

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Speaker 2: So wow, we're just putting me on blast, aren't we?

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Speaker 3: Still?

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Speaker 2: Everybody?

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Speaker 3: My wife?

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Speaker 2: What fuck you are you?

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Speaker 4: We gotta talk about your love every day on the podcast.

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Speaker 4: So she's here, don't I'm alone. She's only here with

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Speaker 4: me and my husband, our husband anyway.

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Speaker 2: What's going on? Anything new?

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Speaker 4: No, nothing new, just you know, living my best life

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Speaker 4: here in the atl little quick trip away from the kids.

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Speaker 4: We have a mama here that I'm really excited to

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Speaker 4: introduce you guys to. I've been stalking you on the

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Speaker 4: internet for years. Actually I didn't tell you this before

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Speaker 4: we met because I wanted to share.

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Speaker 2: I said, I was talking here on the internet. I've

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Speaker 2: been following her for a while too. I remember actually

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Speaker 2: it's been only two years. I think actually the first

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Speaker 2: video you I think maybe you did send me a

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Speaker 2: video of her. She was like smoking this elegant like

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Speaker 2: snow Dubai some salt right. She was like, should she

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Speaker 2: like in Dubai or some shit.

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Speaker 3: In the Middle East?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, I honestly so our guests.

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Speaker 2: She was in Dubai, she.

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Speaker 4: Was smoking, smoking, she was in Dubai, maybe doing things.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: It's so it's a little weird how the internet leads

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Speaker 4: you to people. Wait, and then we actually saw her

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Speaker 4: with our I know, I know, so this is the thing.

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Speaker 4: So you know, we saw people heavily on the internet,

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Speaker 4: but this time I saked to her.

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Speaker 2: I sent her to Erica and then.

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Speaker 1: I was like I want I want her on the

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Speaker 1: show or whatever. And I was like, she look at

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Speaker 1: her hula hooping.

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Speaker 2: And then I saw her.

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Speaker 4: We were in New York for July fourth at the

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Speaker 4: African Festival, and I was like, Yo, the girl's here.

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Speaker 2: The woman's here with the hulloop.

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Speaker 3: She's like what.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I see her and I was like

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Speaker 2: the one that was smoking the thing, yes.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, she was like, were we say

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Speaker 1: something to her. So I'm so fucking weird and awkward,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm friendly, but I get awkward because then how

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Speaker 1: do you make a like an internet friend your real friend.

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Speaker 1: So I went over there with you. I was like hi,

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Speaker 1: You're like hey, what's up. It was like I follow

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Speaker 1: I'm your friend online. She's like cool. It's like okay.

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Speaker 1: She was talking to this man. It's like an interesting hairstyle.

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Speaker 4: He had told me that he was, you know, like

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Speaker 4: the African like all the African principals, all the like

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Speaker 4: all the people are there, and he's like telling me

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Speaker 4: how he was Malcolm X reincarnated.

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Speaker 2: He had a book, he was things, so.

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Speaker 1: Like, so he told me all these things and I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, well this is interesting. And then I

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Speaker 1: just like kind of partoned myself because it's felt awkward

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Speaker 1: and like I was stalking her a little bit, which

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Speaker 1: I was.

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Speaker 5: But anyway, today we have Hula Hoop ex shorten there,

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Speaker 5: Divined Feminine Transformation Coach, Emmy Award winning hairstylists.

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Speaker 2: How do you, Barbell?

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Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you for coming after our long stockage

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Speaker 4: on the Internet of.

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Speaker 3: You, Oh my god, you all is so funny. I

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Speaker 3: was in Morocco.

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Speaker 4: By the way, Morocco, I knowne somewhere some long elegant cigarette.

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Speaker 4: Did you remember me coming up to you, like awkwardly

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Speaker 4: at the African Festival?

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Speaker 2: Actually it was pretty it was it was brief, it

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Speaker 2: was everything.

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Speaker 3: It was last year though, right, Yeah, I know I

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Speaker 3: didn't know you went over there.

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Speaker 2: I did. I was like, I talked.

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Speaker 4: I remember seeing her and it looked like she was

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Speaker 4: like behind multiple people, like she looked.

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Speaker 2: Hard to get first. I was like, did you see her?

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Speaker 2: You're like, no, that's not her, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: that is her.

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Speaker 3: I remember. I think someone just gave me some weed tea.

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Speaker 3: That's probably why I responded like what, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know, I'm supposed to say.

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Speaker 2: I was like some of your friend online, okay, well.

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Speaker 3: I was probably yeah, I took a sip off some

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Speaker 3: weed tea.

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Speaker 2: I know more about this Malcolm X.

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Speaker 3: Because I remember him. I know a feather and I

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Speaker 3: was like, I remember that conversation.

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Speaker 2: Is her friend as I need to know more.

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Speaker 4: I was like, well, she seems to be she seems

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Speaker 4: to be comfortable here, so maybe he's right. Maybe he

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Speaker 4: is Malcolm X incarnated. He says, Malcolm X and Jackie Robinson.

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Speaker 2: It was too pep.

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Speaker 3: He goes in.

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Speaker 2: It was two people.

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Speaker 4: He was reincardinated to that, and I said, you know, ship,

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Speaker 4: who the fuck a mine you might be?

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Speaker 3: He said, king tut. Also, yeah, it was.

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Speaker 4: Like Malcolm X, every black king there ever was, and

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Speaker 4: every genre a singer you did, okay.

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Speaker 3: King, and he's escalated to those levels.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean, I think that's beautiful.

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Speaker 4: I was really I had more questions, but I was

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Speaker 4: awkwardly like I came to disturb the existing conversation and

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Speaker 4: then he came with this massive information. I was just like, damn, well,

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Speaker 4: I don't know who I was. I gotta go, Oh

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Speaker 4: my god.

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Speaker 2: But I'm so happy to finally have you here. Actually

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Speaker 2: my homegirl.

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Speaker 4: After we talked to Lauren, Lodeville was like, this is

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Speaker 4: my mentor right now. I think you need to talk

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Speaker 4: to her. She needs to be on the show. And

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Speaker 4: I was like, so funny you mentioned it, because do

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Speaker 4: you know her? Tell her you know me because I

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Speaker 4: don't know what to say.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, because I was working with her for

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Speaker 3: a little while.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's great. Thank you. You all are just amazing.

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Speaker 3: I love I love watching all the Instagram posts and

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Speaker 3: the jokes, the laughter and and and the real stories. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I literally click and watch the whole thing every

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Speaker 3: single time. And that says a lot.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I know, I'm always look at your stories.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's so funny how like the divine, the

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Speaker 1: divine feminine energy pulls you to people. Because literally I

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Speaker 1: was looking at page I'm like, I love her. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I connect with her.

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Speaker 4: I don't know not think about her, but it's something

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Speaker 4: about like when you know and you have energy, and

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Speaker 4: then when you're willing to like follow the energy through

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Speaker 4: and have conversations because your intuition leads you there. I

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Speaker 4: think people miss that part to forget, Like you know,

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Speaker 4: sometimes we all have messages for each.

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Speaker 2: Other, and you know, you meet someone, you see someone in.

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Speaker 1: The crowd, and you gravitate towards them, like honor that

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Speaker 1: because you never really know like what collaboration that's there,

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Speaker 1: what they have to offer you, what message you have

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Speaker 1: for them.

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Speaker 2: Like I believe in that very strongly.

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Speaker 4: So I believe like this has been a long time

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Speaker 4: coming and this is the perfect time for us to

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Speaker 4: have a conversation.

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Speaker 3: We were going back and forth for a few months

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Speaker 3: about this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, where, which state are you in?

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Speaker 3: I was there. It doesn't matter. I'll just find myself.

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Speaker 2: You're like, I'll be there.

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Speaker 3: I'll be there, don't worry.

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Speaker 2: And she did. She flew into the head just a.

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Speaker 3: Few hours ago. I love you because I love your work.

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Speaker 3: I love I love anything that's unapologetic for woman.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I want to know more about you though,

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Speaker 1: like I do fall. I was drawn to you on

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Speaker 1: the internet, but like, what is your journey? I know,

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Speaker 1: so let me tell you what I gathered from my

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Speaker 1: from my stockernish.

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Speaker 2: I know you.

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Speaker 4: Started in like the hair world and then you start

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Speaker 4: to like this, tell me if I'm wrong, because you

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Speaker 4: know the internet be line it just and like you

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Speaker 4: at some point you went through like a traumatic breakup.

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Speaker 2: I know you're a mom. How many kids? Do you have?

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Speaker 2: Three children? Two boys and a girl.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 4: And I think you've kind of like come on this

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Speaker 4: journey and through like some trump traumatic things or maybe

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Speaker 4: that breakup that kind of led you to your passion

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Speaker 4: work and that also I don't know. I just want

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Speaker 4: to know your story and how you've been led here.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, the breakup was just recent actually okay, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's only been like almost Maybe this was like an

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Speaker 3: older breakup, like when you were like you were devastated.

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Speaker 3: I've been my children's father.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I think that's I don't know how it.

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Speaker 3: Was like fifteen years ago. Yeah, yeah, something, you know,

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Speaker 3: back then. But really I was always kind of like

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Speaker 3: on this path because I was raised by five percenters,

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Speaker 3: you know, by five percenters. Yeah, those are my parents,

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Speaker 3: so they were always keeping us on that path. But

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Speaker 3: I was always a rebel soul, you know. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be cultural like y'all, you know,

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Speaker 3: but you know, it stayed in me. But then when

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Speaker 3: I was in the industry, I worked in fashion and

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Speaker 3: beauty and entertainment, and it was a lot going on

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Speaker 3: in the industry, and I just wanted to stop. I

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Speaker 3: want an Emmy. I'm all the work I've done, work

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Speaker 3: with a lot of celebrities, and you know, I was

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Speaker 3: never really like someone who fit into that world, you know,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't. I tried, but it wasn't really that person.

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Speaker 3: So once I got the Emmy, literally the I worked

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Speaker 3: on the Wendy Williams Show as her key hair designer

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Speaker 3: for that, and I was doing so much work before that,

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Speaker 3: and I was just that breaking point of being there

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Speaker 3: and an environment wasn't really just suitable for where I

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Speaker 3: was going, and I just as soon as I got

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Speaker 3: the emmy, I quit the same day.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I had to do goodbye.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I was waiting for that moment and I quit.

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Speaker 3: And then I went on an ayahuasca retreat.

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Speaker 2: Okay. I was like, really, Journey, be who I really

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Speaker 2: am now right.

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Speaker 3: You know. I would go to this show and make

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Speaker 3: green juices for everyone and meditate whatever. And she was

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Speaker 3: like I don't want this hair, you know. She was

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Speaker 3: like stop this up. And I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 3: this is not me. I need to be who I am.

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Speaker 3: So I decided to do my own healing work. And

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know when I was going on that

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Speaker 3: ayuasca retreat that I was going on the Aua. I

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Speaker 3: don't even know what Auca was. Ayuasca. Maybe it's the

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Speaker 3: name of a tribe. Seriously, do you know what I'm saying?

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Speaker 3: This is like before it was popular, it was like illegal.

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Speaker 3: I think it might still be right, and I say,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but no one A lot of people

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Speaker 3: didn't know about this. I think this was like twenty

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Speaker 3: eleven when I went, and it wasn't like the popular

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Speaker 3: thing yet, and I just went to the jungle. I

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Speaker 3: left the children with it. We weren't together at the time,

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Speaker 3: but I left them with their father for maybe about

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Speaker 3: five or six weeks. You didn't speak to me after

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Speaker 3: that for a really long time. But it was.

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Speaker 2: How could you do this with the kid? How'd you

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Speaker 2: go hell and find yourself? Well, I have to do dad?

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Speaker 2: Ship was he trying to call you when you were

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Speaker 2: out there?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? It was no towers for phones like this, and

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Speaker 3: you had to go to like this room like where

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Speaker 3: everybody went in this hippie village. And they because they

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Speaker 3: kept cutting all the towers, they kept cutting all the

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Speaker 3: towers down from this like village. They wouldn't let any

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Speaker 3: cell phones. They wouldn't let any cell phones be there,

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Speaker 3: and so you had to go to this room this

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Speaker 3: like store and get on the internet to talk to

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Speaker 3: your family, like you couldn't even have a phone call.

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Speaker 2: Like internet cafe.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like a little Yeah. I guess it was

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Speaker 3: that I don't know, some makeshift place and I would

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Speaker 3: just say, hey, I'm okay, but I wouldn't say much

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Speaker 3: and I stayed there. Went to this journey. I was

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Speaker 3: sitting there, you know, with want in a ceremony. It

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Speaker 3: was literally my first real medicine ceremony, and they were like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you do know that this is an ayuasca retreat, right,

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Speaker 3: And I was like, what is ayuasca? They were all

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Speaker 3: looking at me like you didn't know, and I'm like no,

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Speaker 3: I just booked this trip five days ago. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I just want healing. That's what I want. I want

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Speaker 3: to get all that toxic stuff off of me. And okay.

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Speaker 3: Deshaun was like, well great, you came here with no expectations.

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Speaker 3: This is perfect for you. And he started beating the drum.

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Speaker 3: They gave us that liquid to drink that tea. It

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Speaker 3: was so disgusting. It was so disgusting, but I did

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Speaker 3: it and they started beating the drums, beating bing. Next

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Speaker 3: thing I know, I just started crying. It's like I

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Speaker 3: saw myself shrink down to this little girl and I

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Speaker 3: just cried and cried and cried for five hours straight

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Speaker 3: the whole ceremony.

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Speaker 2: Were you afraid when they said this is plant medicine?

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Speaker 4: And then you're going to go on a journey or

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Speaker 4: whatever they told you were you did you.

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Speaker 3: I'm a wild Sagittaria. We do wild things, you know,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm usually always looking to take a chance and

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Speaker 3: explore life. You know, it could work against me sometimes too,

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Speaker 3: but I am that. I am that girl, you know.

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Speaker 3: And so you know, when I was in that state

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Speaker 3: of mind, you know, going to my deep level, I

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Speaker 3: guess it was in a child because I saw myself

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Speaker 3: as a little girl and all these things that happened

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Speaker 3: when I was younger, and you know, I was just

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Speaker 3: seeing it all happen, and I was afraid of that,

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Speaker 3: you know, facing that. And then when I finally came up,

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Speaker 3: He's like, no, you can't put your head down, put

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Speaker 3: your head up. See the light. And I started to

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Speaker 3: see the light and I was like, wow, life is

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Speaker 3: so beautiful, you know. And then there was a message

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Speaker 3: that said, no matter what you're doing in this world,

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Speaker 3: everything has to be healing. You have to touch everyone

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Speaker 3: with the healing, even if you're going to stay in here.

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Speaker 3: No matter what you do, this is your work. It

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Speaker 3: was like an initiation and from then I did about

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Speaker 3: twenty two ceremonies after that. Yes, Wow, ay, your WATCHCA

336
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Speaker 3: payote all of them?

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Speaker 2: Baby, yeah wow.

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Speaker 3: And I just love ceremony, you know, And now I

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Speaker 3: hold ceremonies, you know. So that was my journey and

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Speaker 3: like really moving into that lifestyle of wellness, healing and woman.

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Speaker 3: You know, because when I was in the hair industry,

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Speaker 3: everyone was beautiful. I would do retreats but around hair,

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Speaker 3: like hair parties and all kind of stuff. It was fun,

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Speaker 3: but you know, I just knew that woman needed a

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Speaker 3: deeper level of healing. We need to go deeper. I

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Speaker 3: love the hair, I love the external, but I'm like, no,

347
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Speaker 3: there's some work that we have to do here because

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Speaker 3: I know I have to do work.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So that was my path. So it went from there

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Speaker 3: to there. But you know, I've already went to that

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Speaker 3: breakup with my ex husband. It was crazy. It was

353
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Speaker 3: always I was with him for when I was sixteen

354
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Speaker 3: years old, I had my first I had all my

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Speaker 3: children in my twenties, first at twenty, second at twenty two,

356
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Speaker 3: third at twenty eight, while raising a family, raising myself,

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Speaker 3: raising a career, raising a husband, right right, right?

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Speaker 4: How old were you when you are not were you?

359
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Speaker 4: How old were your children when you went on this

360
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Speaker 4: first retreat.

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Speaker 3: I thank god, let's see, I was okay. Yeah, So

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Speaker 3: I believe they were maybe somewhere around ten. The young

363
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 3: baby girl was probably somewhere around three, you know, ten eleven,

364
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Speaker 3: maybe three for something like that.

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Speaker 4: I'm just curious to know if, like they were old

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Speaker 4: enough to kind of understand what mommy was doing, or like,

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Speaker 4: did you have obviously now I'm sure they know exactly

368
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Speaker 4: what mommy does, but like, what was how did you

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Speaker 4: kind of introduce this new mother to them? Because I'm

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Speaker 4: sure that they kind of you came back different, I'm assuming,

371
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Speaker 4: and it was like who is this?

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Speaker 2: Who is this?

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Speaker 3: You know. It's kind of interesting because my boys always

374
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 3: kind of saw me as this interesting type of mother anyway,

375
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Speaker 3: you know, but they would say, why don't you work

376
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,440
Speaker 3: with celebrities anymore? Why aren't you not why are you

377
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 3: not in you know, make up all the time, or

378
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 3: you know. I became I became real like earthy I did.

379
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Speaker 3: My mom was like, are you gonna wear heels again?

380
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know. It depends on where the

381
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 3: spirit leaves. I became her. I went to a whole

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Speaker 3: nother place. You know. My daughter was pretty young at

383
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Speaker 3: the time, so she didn't have an idea of what

384
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Speaker 3: was going on. She was just, you know, it was

385
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 3: my son's But they all were always very supportive of

386
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 3: who I am. And I walk around the house topless.

387
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Speaker 3: I still do. I know it's crazy. People might think

388
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Speaker 3: it's I don't think it's I'm topless. I was hopless.

389
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Speaker 3: Just this morning, I'm getting dressed and my son and

390
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Speaker 3: people may not like it, but hey, they they saw

391
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Speaker 3: me like this growing up.

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Speaker 2: Someone asked me that recently.

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Speaker 4: Actually, one of our one of our friends, I think

394
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Speaker 4: whenever we were just at Coachella and our friend came

395
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Speaker 4: with her son and I was changing and our friend

396
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 4: our other friends said how do you think like you

397
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Speaker 4: have like we have to stop doing that, And I

398
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Speaker 4: was like, I don't know.

399
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Speaker 2: I guess when he gets thinks it's weird.

400
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 4: But like I was just thinking that because I'm never

401
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,560
Speaker 4: gonna like, I don't is that a thing to like?

402
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 4: I think we put all this pressure on boys to

403
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,439
Speaker 4: be like sexualized men. They don't know how to be,

404
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 4: but it's like they are children. They fucking were nurtured

405
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 4: from your breast there, you know.

406
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Speaker 2: It so strange.

407
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 3: I think that when you are like that they're not

408
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 3: as they don't sexualize everything because it's normal bodies to them.

409
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Speaker 3: In America, this is what we do here in the

410
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 3: Western world. We sexualize everything everything. Yeah, but like me

411
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 3: being that free, my sons they're like, Mom, we're gonna

412
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 3: practice semen retention. Oh really, Yeah, my sons are not

413
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Speaker 3: into any of that. They're all into like the higher

414
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,719
Speaker 3: way of being. And I believe that has a lot

415
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,880
Speaker 3: to do with how I was and how I still am.

416
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 3: And they know I'm like, listen, y'all, I'm not perfect.

417
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Speaker 3: You know, I'm a wild mother. I had y'all young,

418
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Speaker 3: and I'm trying to live my best life right now.

419
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Speaker 3: I hope you understand that, do you?

420
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Speaker 4: Ma?

421
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. It's like it kind of

422
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,679
Speaker 3: grew up with them, right yeah.

423
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Speaker 2: I think, you know, I see so much of myself

424
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Speaker 2: in you.

425
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 1: I guess that's maybe like a part of the things

426
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 1: that like abtracted me to you, even on the internet

427
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 1: in ways, because I feel like I don't know, like hmm,

428
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 1: this woman looks familiar to me in ways.

429
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Speaker 2: But I think, you know, as we're.

430
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Speaker 1: We've kind of just started this journey of like this

431
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 1: retreat healing and holding space for women in ways. We've

432
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 1: been doing this for a while, just with the podcast

433
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 1: that we've been doing, you know now for four years,

434
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: but this that wasn't really our goal. Initially, we were

435
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,159
Speaker 1: just like coming to congregte together and kind of just

436
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 1: like get some shit off our chest. But it became

437
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 1: deeply healing and then it's just unraveled in ways that

438
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 1: we're just kind of like peeling back the layers and

439
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 1: seeing this bigger picture of our purpose and how we're

440
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 1: here to serve our community and like how they're here

441
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,199
Speaker 1: to serve us, and just like really in society and

442
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 1: so like, you know.

443
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 4: Okay, our daughters are seven, and I've had questions and

444
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,679
Speaker 4: I'm one because your father along in the journey. Your

445
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 4: kids are grown, and.

446
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: It's like I've weighed the pros and cons of my

447
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 1: child having a non traditional mother, right because we have

448
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,400
Speaker 1: daughters too and even boys, you know, but the society

449
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: will put so many things on our children, on us,

450
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 1: on our programming, and I've wondered, like, because I've had

451
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 1: people challenge me, like what if you know, my daughter's

452
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 1: name is Luna. What if Lunda grows up and wants

453
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 1: to like put topless pictures on the Internet Internet like you,

454
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: And I'm like, she's grown. And also I'm like, she's like,

455
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 1: what does she wants to do when she's sixteen? I'm like, my,

456
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 1: first of all, this hypothetical fucking question. Second of all,

457
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 1: obviously that's not appropriate if you're fucking sixteen.

458
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 4: Second of all, like, my child knows who I am.

459
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 4: She knows that's mommy, you know what I mean.

460
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to hide or pretend to like

461
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 1: fit into some kind of mold. And I think in

462
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: ways for me, I feel like it's going to be

463
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: super beneficial.

464
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 2: Like I see her now and we.

465
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 4: Turn on certain music and I can see how she

466
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 4: like moves her body and how she's in tune with

467
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 4: the music and like in tune with her sensuality in ways.

468
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 4: And I know people are going to be triggered by

469
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 4: this comment because like sensuality, you know, like applied to

470
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 4: a seven year old, everyone gets very Yeah, people like,

471
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 4: like we said, over sexualized a lot of things. But

472
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 4: I see that and I'm proud, you know, I'm proud

473
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 4: that she's in tune in ways. But I know it

474
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 4: could go a lot of different ways. And I know,

475
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 4: like for you with your daughter and in doing it

476
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:30,400
Speaker 4: early and going on ayahuasca retreats, like words of advice

477
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 4: or what have you learned in this journey, like as

478
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 4: a mom, an untraditional mother to your daughters and to

479
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 4: your son.

480
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 3: Hmmm, well, I mean, just know that that's the it's

481
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,440
Speaker 3: definitely a path let's traveled.

482
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 2: Right.

483
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 3: Understand that you are going to get resistance, you know,

484
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 3: that's the part of the process because people are not

485
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: used to that. They're not used to seeing someone just

486
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 3: outwardly show that level of freedom. Because there's a certain

487
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 3: role that a mother should play, you know what I mean,

488
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 3: like a mother should look like how she should behave

489
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 3: And I believe that we have to really just pay attention,

490
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,959
Speaker 3: pay attention to our children, Listen to what they're saying,

491
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: pay attention to how you're feeling. You know, if you've

492
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: gone a little too far with something, right, I heard

493
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,719
Speaker 3: you saying that earlier, like you know that, you know what,

494
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 3: you know she was saying that earlier too, you know

495
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,479
Speaker 3: when Okay, you might have been a little irresponsible, you

496
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 3: know that. So you know, you just have to always

497
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 3: just check in with yourself, check in with the children.

498
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 3: But you will definitely get resistance, and you will be

499
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 3: called the bad mother. It may trigger you, you may

500
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 3: feel like you're not a great mother, you know, but

501
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 3: you really just have to just stay connected with your heart,

502
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 3: stay connected with them. You know who you are, they

503
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 3: know who you are. Have open conversations about it. But listen,

504
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 3: be yourself, and that's what that's the message that you're

505
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 3: teaching your daughter. It's individuality because honestly, I'd rather come

506
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 3: from you. I'd rather come from the mother than from

507
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 3: the world. That's how I see it, you know, because

508
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 3: there's so much information on the internet. There's all these

509
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 3: videos and these celebrities that's promoting one way, and that's

510
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 3: okay for everyone to do, right, it's okay if they

511
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 3: do that. But when you're like in your witchy mode

512
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 3: and your goddess mode and you're vegan or whatever you

513
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 3: do your holistic way of living chakras and crystals and

514
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: going on medicine retreats and putting the work into the community,

515
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 3: they would call you like a witch or irresponsible or

516
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 3: you're not It doesn't look like that's a mother. But

517
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 3: the times is changing now and you're at a great time.

518
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 3: Both of you are in a great time. I think

519
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: that I'm about ten years older than all of you, yeah,

520
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 3: both of you. I'm forty three. Yeah, yeah, I'm forty three.

521
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 3: It's different when I was. You're thirty. What is it,

522
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 3: You're thirty two.

523
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 2: I'm thirty three, thirty three four?

524
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 3: Same? Okay, I'll be thirty forty Wait, maybe i'll be

525
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 3: thirty three too. That's how I feel, you know, I

526
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 3: really do. So It's like when I was that age. Yeah,

527
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: you know, I was going through that battle with my

528
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: children's father, and to this day, I don't speak. We don't.

529
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 3: It's just we just have. He does not like me

530
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 3: because of who I am, because of my my whimsical,

531
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 3: wild woman ways. He sees that as an unfit mother.

532
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: Do you think him feeling that way in ways influenced

533
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: your children to adopt those feelings.

534
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 3: I think that it influenced probably my daughter more than anything.

535
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 2: Why because she was the youngest.

536
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 3: She's the youngest. She is the youngest, you know, and

537
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 3: so that's why she lives with him.

538
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: Now.

539
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 3: It's a great match. Okay, yeah, it's a great match.

540
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 3: You know, I raised her to a certain age and

541
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,719
Speaker 3: when she wanted to, you know, she likes a certain lifestyle.

542
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 3: She's it's an interesting, really interesting conversation with the daughters.

543
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,880
Speaker 3: The sons usually are gonna support, you know. I think

544
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 3: about Queen of Foul and I watch her sons and

545
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 3: I see her daughter. The sons are always by the

546
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: mother's side. They will always support the daughters. Is a

547
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 3: little tough. It's because it's a certain thing that sometimes

548
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,439
Speaker 3: they want to be opposite of you, you know, and

549
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 3: that's what I see, you know. And then but it

550
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 3: depends because.

551
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 4: I say that, it's so funny you say that because

552
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 4: I think that I think that even in my own

553
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 4: personal relationship with my mom. I think that in your

554
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 4: relationship with your mother, like not wanting to be have

555
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: certain qualities that she has me Like, I remember my

556
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 4: mom was saying, what do you want to be to corrupt?

557
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,239
Speaker 4: And I was like, not a makeup artist, and she

558
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 4: was so offended, and I was like, I don't even

559
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 4: know why I said that, you know, like just didn't

560
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 4: want it. I want to have my own path. I

561
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 4: want to do my own shit. I want to like

562
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 4: carve my own thing out. I didn't want to be

563
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 4: like the woman who birthed me. And now obviously I

564
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 4: respect my mother so much. I respect her so much,

565
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 4: but there's still even there's still a tinge of like,

566
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 4: I don't want to be like that.

567
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 3: Though I couldn't I could relate to that.

568
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 4: Why is it like that? Why are we like Because

569
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 4: I think it's something about I mean it's generational too,

570
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 4: because we're just different women. I think I think I'm

571
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 4: I'm I think I'm just I've always been a pretty

572
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,959
Speaker 4: different woman than my mom, and I think now we

573
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 4: have she can admit, like, you've lived your life authentically,

574
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 4: where maybe she hadn't had the space of the permission

575
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 4: to tap into that.

576
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: And for me growing up, her not being stepping into

577
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: who she was to me felt weak. I felt like

578
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: she she chased my dad. I felt like she there

579
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 1: was a lot of you know, her wanting to be

580
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 1: in this role and like fighting basic shit that she

581
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: probably should have released a long time ago.

582
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: And I held on to that.

583
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 4: And that was and I think I unfortunately and fortunately

584
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 4: a part of not only I'm just a spicy ass bitch,

585
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 4: but just also that played a big part into who

586
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 4: I am because I was like, I'm not going to

587
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 4: do that. I don't care if it looks good or

588
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 4: not like I want to be who I am and

589
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 4: no one is going to tell me otherwise, not even you.

590
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 4: But I think it's just an interesting thing with daughters,

591
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 4: especially because we are women who I would say hold

592
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 4: space for women to heal and give permission for women

593
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 4: to heal, because we've kind of dived into that in

594
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 4: our personal lives, and so it's interesting that our daughters

595
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 4: wouldn't be recept you know, liked, would not be receptive

596
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 4: of that, and oh my god, I hope it doesn't happen.

597
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 4: But it's interesting to think that we're healing women specifically,

598
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: and then the little women in which we birth are

599
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 4: like that.

600
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well that's to be expected. And I think

601
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 3: that that's what we really need to bring lights to

602
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 3: because it's not popular. You have to understand why it's

603
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 3: like that. If you were like the bad bitch, right,

604
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,959
Speaker 3: just that that look, that energy, that everything, just one

605
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 3: hundred percent all the time. Trust it would be different.

606
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 3: I know because I watch my daughter and I'm not

607
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 3: what she wants to look like or be like, not

608
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 3: right now until it's starts becoming more popular. So now

609
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 3: she started seeing her friends wear waste speeds, and she

610
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 3: started making wat speeds. She started seeing people her friends

611
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 3: liking my little crochet tops and my little hippie style,

612
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 3: and she's like, can I wear one of those shirts.

613
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, oh really, I thought, okay, no problem,

614
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 3: you know, but she's into whatever is popular, and that's

615
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 3: at that age when they're trying to find themselves, They're

616
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: gonna they want what is accepted by the masses, and

617
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 3: that's the reason why they're going to be against their mother,

618
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 3: especially if you're non traditional, because you're not accepted by

619
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 3: the masses. So it's to be expected and you just

620
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: have to keep doing what you know to be true

621
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 3: from the heart and they will come around. Because I

622
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 3: was like that with my mother. I saw my mother

623
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 3: and I watched my mom growing up, and I was

624
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 3: just like, I don't want to be like her.

625
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: And your mom was pretty like free and hippie.

626
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 3: And she was, but it was like, I.

627
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 4: Want to be sex not like that, like this, but

628
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 4: not like that.

629
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 3: I want to be sexy. I want to wear little

630
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 3: stuff showed my body. My mom was fully covered. She

631
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 3: went through mini and I watched her go through so

632
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 3: many phases of being a five percent of Rastafarian Muslim.

633
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: I was like okay, okay, like you're just gonna keep

634
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 3: going like this, like you no serious. It's like every

635
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 3: time it was a different thing, and I was like, Okay,

636
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 3: she's on the journey, she said, and I couldn't understand it.

637
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 3: And then I did not see her happy a lot

638
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,239
Speaker 3: of the time either with men, and so, man, I'm

639
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 3: so sad I'm even saying this right now, but it's like,

640
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 3: really like, when I think about my mom, I just

641
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 3: feel like I didn't I feel deeply about it. I

642
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 3: think I'm like, wow, I don't feel like any man

643
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 3: really honored her, and that really bothers me. And so

644
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: in my mind, I'm like, I'm not gonna be like this.

645
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 3: So that's when we see this. Growing up, she didn't

646
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: know better because she didn't have her mom. Her mom

647
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: died at a young age. My mom had me when

648
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: she was sixteen. I was her second child, and my

649
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 3: mom and I never met my grandmother or my grandfather.

650
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 3: So that is a disconnect right there alone. You know,

651
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 3: my grand her father died of a drug overdose, and

652
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 3: those times that was the thing, right and then her

653
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 3: mother died. She had cancer, breast cancer, and then she

654
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,239
Speaker 3: had mental illness. So my mom grew up young. She

655
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 3: went into the five percenter from my father. They took

656
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 3: her in at a young age. I found myself on

657
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 3: that same path. I did not want to be on

658
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 3: the same path. But now my children's father was a

659
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 3: Hebrew Israelite. It was like, oh, okay, so now I'm

660
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 3: and so you know what I mean, So we're getting

661
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 3: what we don't really want. And then I think about

662
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 3: my mom and I'm like, wow, I couldn't. I didn't

663
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 3: see my father didn't marry her, but then he went

664
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 3: on to marry someone else. That still bothers me to

665
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 3: this day, like he literally created a whole another family.

666
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 3: And so now I'm now halfing to heal from those

667
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 3: abandonment issues. I saw it and how I relate to

668
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 3: men I did. I had to really discuss, like be

669
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 3: honest about it, like way yea, dear, this is what

670
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 3: like going to other healing retreats really revealed it to me,

671
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 3: Like when I broke up with my children's father and

672
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, it's time to do the healing.

673
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 3: And I was like, wow, I really have abandonment issues

674
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: and I have to work through this. So this is

675
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 3: not good. You know, and it went back to my

676
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 3: father leaving at a young age. My mom left my dad.

677
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 4: I think so many of us have abandonment issues and

678
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 4: don't even know where to start with that, Like what

679
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 4: was the beginning of healing that?

680
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: Like, how does one even begin? I think first by

681
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: acknowledging that that exists.

682
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, of course, but like then what it's one

683
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: thing we can all acknowledge.

684
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 2: We have our shit. But that's what I know.

685
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 3: For me, I was sitting there, I didn't know what

686
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 3: was happening because I was just going through the process.

687
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 3: And I know that in my relationship, I was with

688
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 3: my ex husband for twelve years from age sixteen to

689
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 3: twenty eight in a whole like cult and that's what

690
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: I call it, the Israelites. It was crazy, okay, And

691
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 3: I went through that. That's why it's a lot part

692
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 3: of my journey of why I do this work.

693
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 2: So I don't have no idea what Israelites are.

694
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, the whole thing is like, what's the belief system like.

695
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 6: That?

696
00:31:55,240 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 3: If? I mean, you know that they are the true,

697
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 3: the real people of Israel, And it's it's kind of

698
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 3: like I don't even I've blocked it out so much

699
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 3: from my head. But what I'm going to say about

700
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 3: it is that women. They usually go after women really

701
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 3: young and they're able to lay their minds. You are

702
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 3: property to them when you do that. But you are

703
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 3: definitely property to them. You're only they to serve. They

704
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: can have many wives as they want, and you're just

705
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: there to submit and they get you. They only go

706
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 3: after the woman when they're young. And then it's like,

707
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 3: if you're not going to join us, you're going to die.

708
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 3: This is gonna happen. You need to be a part

709
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 3: of this. But when the world changes and where the

710
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 3: chosen people, that's usually the you know, pretty much the cult,

711
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 3: that's what. Yeah, it's all cults. If you don't join us,

712
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 3: this will happen. And then when you're like someone who's younger,

713
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 3: who's a young girl, and you want to feel like

714
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 3: you belong to something, you will. It doesn't start off

715
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: like them telling you that. It starts off as a

716
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: nice looking man and they get taking care of you.

717
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: And they're taking care of you so they do things

718
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 3: that your father wasn't there. If you had the father

719
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 3: in your household, it would never happen. They would never

720
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 3: They can't get in, but because there's something missing, you

721
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: want to be a part of something. They're like, yeah,

722
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 3: you're my wife.

723
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 2: You like, ooh, I'm cherished.

724
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 4: Also, that'll tapping into that those abandonment issues is just

725
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 4: like heap major for you, a major.

726
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 3: And so I was in it. I was in it.

727
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of women and a lot

728
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: of people, like we said, have those abandonment issues. And

729
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,719
Speaker 1: it's funny that we're having this conversation after Shanisha left

730
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: because one thing that she said that we didn't get

731
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: to like elaborate on because we're just beginning, was that

732
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: like she was like talking about a relationship and like,

733
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: I like being told what to do. She should that

734
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: guy was really jealous and really crazy, but actually I

735
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: like being told what to do.

736
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,959
Speaker 2: And we were like huh huh, I don't know how.

737
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: They're like whitch what? But like in ways, women do

738
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 2: you know?

739
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 4: We we we are forces to be fucked with, you know,

740
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 4: But if we find a masculine energy that can submit

741
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 4: us and set.

742
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: Us down, we are happy to submit. But I think that's.

743
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: Where you have to be really careful, because you have

744
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: to be you have to love yourself enough to know

745
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: that when you are letting the right person in to

746
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: lead in that way, because there are so many bottom

747
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: feeders and that appear as gentlemen and appear as woke

748
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 1: humans or appear as leaders. And I think that's where

749
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 1: like these these religious cults come into play, and they girl,

750
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: I was looking. I wanted a deep dive on the

751
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 1: fucking Nature Boy fucking ship.

752
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 3: Oh god, he's a culture.

753
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 2: You know him?

754
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 3: No, yeah, I thought he was calling it type.

755
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 2: He's out here right here. He got arrested or something.

756
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 2: He's from New York though, he's some kind of cult leader.

757
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: But our friend went to his friend. My friend was

758
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 2: in his cult for a while.

759
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 3: You got the name of the cult.

760
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 2: I don't know Nature Boy, I don't know the call.

761
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 4: But he went to person recently he's he got extra,

762
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 4: he got he got exed, Like how do you say,

763
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 4: like extra died like.

764
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: As a couple of places.

765
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: But you know the point is, and I know, like

766
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 1: people may be at home listening laughing right now, like

767
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: that won't happen to me, or that's crazy. I know

768
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: more than one friend who got swept up by different

769
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: sects of different religious cults. And I think it's just

770
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: it's even me. Like, I'm not saying I got swept

771
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: up by any religious cults, but like I I was

772
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: dating this Muslim guy, was like, dickmatizing the fuck.

773
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 3: Up, That's what I was gonna say. I was waiting

774
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: for you to say.

775
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: That dickmatizing the fuck out of me and was Muslim

776
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: and was like, hey Muslim, of course, fake Muslim was like,

777
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: you know what, died a virtuous woman and like, you

778
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 1: know the things he would tell me. I was like,

779
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: doesn't that sound kind of crazy? Like that sounds like

780
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: you want a puppy, you know. But even in the contrary,

781
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,800
Speaker 1: I was getting sucked in. And as I was getting

782
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: sucked in, I was like, this is absolutely crazy. He's

783
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: going to fuck up your world.

784
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: I could, I could hear myself.

785
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 4: I could see it how happening, and also not I

786
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 4: could not.

787
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 2: Not do it.

788
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: I was like, I gotta check off this box, you know,

789
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: even though I knew that it was absolutely crazy and

790
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,439
Speaker 1: I'm such a free bitch like I would.

791
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 4: I could never conform into a box. It would only

792
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 4: last for so long, you know. I had to get

793
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 4: the ship slapped out of me for to be like, Okay,

794
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 4: I'm out look, literally he slapped me.

795
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 2: Oh let it, you know, literally he did.

796
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 4: He slapped the shit out of me, and I was like, okay,

797
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,919
Speaker 4: that was spirit girl, that wasn't even it. I still

798
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 4: continued to fuck with him after that. This is me

799
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 4: as an adult, like, this is like last year. This

800
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 4: is not a long time ago. I'm not that heeled,

801
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 4: you guys.

802
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: And I consciously went into it knowing. I said to myself,

803
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: I said, God is testing me to see if I'm

804
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: really ready.

805
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 2: And I did it anyway.

806
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 4: And the last time I saw him, you guys, he

807
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck. He was a little crazy,

808
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 4: but he was like saying something disrespectful to me, and

809
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 4: I was.

810
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: Like, get the fuck out, Get the fuck out. And

811
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 2: I swear to God, I never saw him again.

812
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 1: The Good Lord removed this Muslim fake as Muslim so

813
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: quickly out of my life, but he creeps up in

814
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 1: my mind because I'm like my psychonist like wants it

815
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: a little bit. And it's like even being a free

816
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: woman and being like knowing my passion, knowing my purpose,

817
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: knowing the things I'm supposed to do.

818
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 2: Even I am like, how did this happen? How did

819
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: you get some basic for eight months.

820
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: But it's just like as women I think we do

821
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: in ways search for safety and for love, and men

822
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: will like, well, men can seek that shit out. And

823
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: if you haven't like poured into your well, yep, and

824
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: you haven't figured out who you are, and you haven't

825
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: honored who you are, and you haven't said you know,

826
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 1: no matter if a shadow of a doubt, this is

827
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 1: what who the fuck I am?

828
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 4: And no one can come in and fuck that up.

829
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 4: Even after I vowed to do this, I still got

830
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 4: fucked up.

831
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 1: So it's just like I think, I always say this,

832
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: there's an attack on free women, and there's an attack

833
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 1: on wild women. And when I say wild, not like

834
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: in this freaky like sense, but just like men who

835
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: are honoring their true nature, because it's like the imbalance

836
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: in the world trying to fuck up the purpose.

837
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 3: A natural process of nature is a wild woman who

838
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: is connected to that. That is the natural flow of nature,

839
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 3: that's all. And humans are always trying to obstruct the

840
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 3: natural form of nature. So they're gonna try what They're

841
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 3: gonna start with the woman. She is the greatest force

842
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 3: on earth. Every time most power, of course, go for her,

843
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 3: go for her.

844
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and especially having kids with someone who doesn't believe

845
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 4: that same way that Like, like you said, there is

846
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 4: nothing more hurtful than someone telling you you're not a

847
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 4: good mom. Yeah, you know it doesn't like even like

848
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 4: I said, Erica says something to me now was my

849
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 4: feelings for her?

850
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,720
Speaker 2: Like evenough I know this is my friend.

851
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 4: Like when someone comes for that and you your fans

852
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 4: fucking come out because you're like, what the fuck are

853
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,399
Speaker 4: you talking about, you know, because like that's our number

854
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 4: one duty, Like I think that, you know, that's our

855
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 4: birth right in ways, and so when people attack that,

856
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 4: especially the people you have babies for, you're like, damn,

857
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 4: you just saw me lay on the table and push

858
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 4: this motherfucker out my pussy, and you're gonna disrespect me

859
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 4: like this.

860
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 3: And especially if they're not present. So that's the part

861
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 3: that really gets me. You're not a good mom, but

862
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 3: you saw your daughter once one time in the whole

863
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: year of the pandemic. So it's and it's like, and

864
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 3: if you are now trying to juggle everything that you

865
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 3: have on your plane, you are going to drop the

866
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 3: ball somewhere. Let's just really normalize that because what's been

867
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 3: happening is that like this, I can do it all thing,

868
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 3: Like I can beat the boss and do the household

869
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 3: and you know, be the lover and the teacher and

870
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 3: you know, make the nice lunches. And you can't show

871
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 3: up to the PTA meetings all the time. You can't

872
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 3: go to the park, go to the way. You're gonna

873
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 3: drop it. You're gonna forget about the doctor's the point.

874
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 3: Oh my bad. I could even forgot to mind my

875
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 3: own doctor's appointment. It's normal, and I think we need

876
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 3: to normaliz and have these conversations more so that you

877
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 3: don't have the mom guilt all the time. And then

878
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: someone else is trying to throw that at you. Oh

879
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 3: you fell short here, and they might be feeling this class. Hey,

880
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 3: I did the best I could. Hey, if the other

881
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,959
Speaker 3: party wasn't present, what do you expect. So when someone

882
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 3: says that, if I hear it from him, you're not

883
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 3: a good mom, or you didn't do this, I said, okay,

884
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 3: so when's the last time you took us to the

885
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 3: doctor's appointment? Well, did you have to take it to

886
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 3: the movies once? From the whole fifteen years?

887
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: You know?

888
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 3: And then it's interesting enough somehow it doesn't even matter. Somehow,

889
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 3: the daughter specifically will still gravitate to the father and

890
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 3: still look, do.

891
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 4: You think that's because women just gravitate towards the male

892
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 4: energy in general, and whether it's whether it's positive or negative,

893
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 4: whether it's fatherly or not.

894
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, they weren't and mother's always. When my mom left

895
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 3: my dad, I was angry with that. I gave us

896
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 3: such a hard time.

897
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 2: I gave us so old even though you knew she

898
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: wasn't happy.

899
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 3: She wasn't happy, and he was cheating and he was

900
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: doing all kind of stuff to her, but it didn't

901
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 3: matter to me. It was her fault.

902
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

903
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: So I made her. I punished her because of it.

904
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 3: I did.

905
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: You did?

906
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: I did because you felt a way that she wasn't

907
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: like accepting you with like no, like like you don't

908
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: see all that I'm doing.

909
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 3: It didn't matter. She the father should be here and

910
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: it's your fault that you left him, and now we

911
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,479
Speaker 3: have to suffer. So yeah, now I'm suffering. Now I'm hurting.

912
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 3: My dad is not here. I grew up with mom

913
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 3: and dad, So now it's your fault. It's always always

914
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 3: the mother's fault, always, you know, and so that's but

915
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: what I do know is that I am out of

916
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 3: my mom's six children, I'm the most like her. She

917
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: always says to me, I live vicariously through you. I

918
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 3: gave her the most hell out of all of her children.

919
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 3: I mean I really gave her. I ran away the boys. Oh,

920
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 3: I gave it to her. But I came into my

921
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 3: own and all the work that she was teaching me,

922
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 3: and the products that she uses on her face and

923
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,800
Speaker 3: all those holistic ways of living that I was like, ugh,

924
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 3: can she just be normal? I do everything right now

925
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 3: that she taught me. The meditation classes that we would

926
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 3: go to, I'm holding them. And this is why we

927
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: just got to stay the course, no matter what. To

928
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 3: stay the course. They always always watching. The children are

929
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 3: always watching.

930
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 4: They are and they always and even like I think

931
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 4: about me and my relationship with my mom, like coming

932
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 4: the full circle moments and the coming back around, I

933
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 4: want to I want to talk about more about just

934
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 4: the classes that you do hold and these workshops and

935
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 4: things that I see on the internet.

936
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 2: You on the beach and hula hooping and.

937
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 4: And all of this amazing feminine like divinity that I'm

938
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 4: seeing on the gram like I get glimpses of it,

939
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 4: but like, what is what is the work that.

940
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 2: You do for women?

941
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 4: And and I guess what is?

942
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 2: How did it?

943
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 4: How did you besides obviously the plant medicine experiences, how

944
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,240
Speaker 4: did you kind of fall into this work?

945
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 3: Okay, So, as I said before, I was working in

946
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 3: the here industry for a while and I host a

947
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 3: lot of and so I was always into bringing community together.

948
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 3: Because I was raising community, I was raising the five

949
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 3: percent nation nations of gods on Earth. There was a

950
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 3: rally every week. I was used to having people around.

951
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 3: When I was in the hair business, I would host

952
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 3: hair parties. I would call it crowns and cocktails, and

953
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 3: I used to make these wigs that I called crowns.

954
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 3: And then I'm like, you know what, I'm going to

955
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 3: have a sample sale for hair. I worked in New

956
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 3: York City. There was sample sales all the time. And

957
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 3: then someone walks in from the New York Times and

958
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 3: she's just like randomly walks in one of my events.

959
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 3: It's like You're going to be in the New York

960
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: Times with this, And I was like, wow, Okay, so

961
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 3: I got into New York Times like on like that's

962
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 3: a big deal in New York. To get into you

963
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: like you have to have a publicist. People try to

964
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 3: pay you to get in there, and it's just like, naturally,

965
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 3: it was always happening for me. I never had a

966
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 3: pr It always happened. And so they were like making

967
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 3: this big deal about me doing these events with women

968
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 3: and hair and everything, and I was just like, you

969
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 3: know what, I was always online speaking my truth. I

970
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 3: was empowering women through transformation. That's what I I do,

971
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 3: So the work that I do is always in transformation.

972
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 3: But I wanted to express myself and come out the closet,

973
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 3: come out the closet. I was in a closet. Like

974
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 3: so there was this whole disconnect between this, you know,

975
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,399
Speaker 3: really fabulous world. I'm in the red bottoms. I had

976
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 3: breast and plants, I had all of that. I was

977
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 3: full on, ready for it, you know, full on, and

978
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 3: I enjoyed that world. But as I started to connect

979
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 3: more with the enemy and wanted to heal, I started

980
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 3: to let go. Then I started to speak my truth

981
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 3: about it, speak what goes on in my heart, speak

982
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 3: about healing. And I decided that I wanted to start

983
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 3: holding space for women for that purpose. So I started

984
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 3: to combine the hair and then the healing through movement,

985
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 3: through dance, through meditation, through moon circles. And I was

986
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,399
Speaker 3: always building community behind it, and they were I didn't

987
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 3: even really want to do it, like it wasn't like

988
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 3: a hardcore thought. It just kind of like had to happen,

989
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 3: you know. It was like I was always talking, always

990
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 3: connecting people together, and they were just like, when are

991
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,359
Speaker 3: you having something. I'm like, oh, okay, I guess we

992
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 3: won't just have something for hair anymore. We'll do it

993
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 3: all now. And so I was always going to retreats.

994
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 3: I learned, I learned from different leaders, and then you know,

995
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 3: I just started doing my own and it started off

996
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 3: really really small, and I was like I don't know

997
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 3: what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it, you know,

998
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 3: and people showed up. I was like just donation hardly,

999
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 3: you know, because I was practicing, I was learning. I

1000
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 3: was doing it for hair, and but I wanted to

1001
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,360
Speaker 3: go deeper and just listen, give a woman a space

1002
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 3: to speak and to talk about their pain, to release

1003
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: it in the ceremony. And because of my experience and

1004
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 3: being in ceremony, I kind of knew the format of

1005
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 3: it also, But then it just started. It started growing

1006
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 3: and growing and growing, and then I started going on

1007
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 3: these experiences. I was in Thailand, and when I came

1008
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 3: back from Thailand one day, I couldn't sleep. I was

1009
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 3: in it. I woke up in the night, in the

1010
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 3: middle of the night, and I was like, I don't

1011
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 3: want to do this hair stuff anymore. I want to

1012
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 3: have my work completely. I want to open up a

1013
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 3: healing center in New York. And I was like, oh,

1014
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 3: do I want to run another business in New York again? No,

1015
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'm the healing center and that's how.

1016
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 3: And I just wouldn't sleep because of the time difference.

1017
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 3: So I was jet lax. I would wake up and

1018
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 3: I'd be like, God, his glow up. It just came

1019
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: in a dream. And that's how I created it. And

1020
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 3: I didn't want to just create it for me. I

1021
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,359
Speaker 3: wanted to create it where I bought other leaders, other

1022
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 3: women together because I knew that we needed that that

1023
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 3: sisterhood and me growing up, I was a weird, a

1024
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 3: weird young young lady. You know. I used to wear glasses,

1025
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 3: thick ones. I'm legally blind actually, And so they didn't

1026
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 3: have the technology they have now with contact lens. When

1027
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 3: I wake up in the morning, I don't see I

1028
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:42,919
Speaker 3: don't know what that looks like. Everything is a blur.

1029
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 3: And growing up like that, and in five percent of

1030
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 3: clothing where the skirts were all the way down to

1031
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 3: your ankle, your head was wrapped up and the glasses

1032
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 3: who am I? Who am I? I'm like, why am

1033
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 3: I even in this body? Like I was like not happy.

1034
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 3: I felt just you felt disconnected from your I felt

1035
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 3: completely disconnected. I didn't even know who I was. I

1036
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 3: was like low self estee. People would laugh at me,

1037
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 3: tease me all the time, you know. And so I

1038
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 3: was able to now have a space where people can

1039
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 3: just be themselves, you know, and just you know, express

1040
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 3: their creativity, you know, being their truth. And I just

1041
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 3: kind of it was just being myself. And I opened

1042
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 3: up the way for women to be themselves, you know.

1043
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 3: And then also what I didn't what I saw was

1044
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 3: that there was a disconnect, like there was this thing

1045
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 3: like the conscious community. Only certain people would fit this

1046
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 3: look to be a part of this group. I never

1047
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 3: fit the look. I was always wearing hair, you know,

1048
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 3: I like my designer stuff. I was always kind of

1049
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 3: boho with it, but I always mix it in, Like

1050
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 3: right now I have on Gucci and I have a

1051
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 3: skirt from India like.

1052
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 4: So as I get older, the one thing I will

1053
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:59,200
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1054
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1055
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1056
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,320
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1057
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1058
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1059
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Speaker 2: That's right.

1060
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:23,000
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1061
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:27,680
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1062
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1063
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1064
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1065
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1066
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1068
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1069
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 4: of comfort. So you know, in the beginning of twenty twenty,

1070
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 4: Eric and I talked a lot about microdosing because it

1071
00:48:58,680 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 4: basically saved.

1072
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 2: Our life, and you hear about it a.

1073
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 4: Lot with psychedelics, but you don't really hear about people

1074
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 4: microdosing THCHC.

1075
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 2: But now Loomy.

1076
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 4: Has brought to you microdose of THHC and let me

1077
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 4: tell you, it takes the edge off, less anxiety, more sleep,

1078
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 4: just a happier me. The microdose gummies are delicious. They

1079
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 4: helped me sleep, they help me get creative, they help

1080
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 4: me get into the zone, and honestly, I hate don't know.

1081
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 2: What I do without them at this point.

1082
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 4: Sometimes I need a break from smoking and Loomygummies has

1083
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 4: been the best solution for that. Microdose is available nationwide.

1084
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 4: To learn more about microdosing THCHC, just do a quick

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1110
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Speaker 3: It's kind of like if you didn't have this like natural.

1111
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 2: Look look a part of the community.

1112
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 3: I know you're not. You're talked about, Oh you're a fake.

1113
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 3: And then I have boobs and everything, so I don't

1114
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 3: deserve healing right, right, And so what I did is

1115
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: I created a space for women just for that, and

1116
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 3: then spirit just worked through me. I started to just

1117
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 3: get more and more grave of it, and and then

1118
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 3: just started expanding and expanding, expanding, and I was able

1119
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 3: to use my gifts of transformation and work it into

1120
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 3: these women's circles, these retreats, you know, everything that I'm

1121
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,280
Speaker 3: great at. I kind of seasoned it up and created

1122
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,479
Speaker 3: my own thing with it. And then I started teaching

1123
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 3: people how to do the same and offering value, learning

1124
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 3: about the feminine, learning about healing, and then so I

1125
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: could get to know myself more, and it made me

1126
00:52:07,120 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 3: become a greater leader. You know, I started peeling back

1127
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 3: the layers. I got really extreme with it too, and

1128
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 3: you know that really happened, No, it happened. Sometimes we

1129
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 3: have to talk about that. It's like, when you first

1130
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,239
Speaker 3: get into like getting to know yourself, you're like, you're

1131
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 3: judging yourself the same way they were judging you. It

1132
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 3: happened to me like I was like, I want I

1133
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 3: want these breasting plants out to them out, and then

1134
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 3: like now I want to delete every picture on my Instagram.

1135
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 3: No I did. I did everything that I was just

1136
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,359
Speaker 3: like so like sensual, and you know, it was like

1137
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 3: boobs out, hair everything. I would just archived everything. Even

1138
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 3: to this day, maybe you might see a little sprinkled

1139
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 3: hair in there, but it was like I'm not her,

1140
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:46,720
Speaker 3: I don't know her.

1141
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,200
Speaker 2: You still feel do you feel that way?

1142
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 3: No? Nope, but I'm not the full expression of that.

1143
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 3: So You're not going to see that. It's going to

1144
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 3: be confusing. But so now I'm like I went to

1145
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 3: this space where I just would pull my hair back,

1146
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 3: be natural, be and then I'm like, look I like

1147
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 3: a little bit of this. I like a little bit

1148
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 3: of that. I've learned to be balanced with it. And

1149
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 3: it was a time where it's like completely extreme because

1150
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 3: I want people to respect me for this. But then

1151
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 3: I had to just learn to embrace all of me

1152
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 3: and get comfortable with me, and by sharing my journey

1153
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,240
Speaker 3: so authentically, that's how I was able to build that tribe.

1154
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I was doing it. I was

1155
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 3: just being truthful about my pain, about my journey about

1156
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 3: not being accepted, and there's a lot of people who

1157
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 3: feel the same exact way.

1158
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 2: You know.

1159
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 4: I'm happy you said that because I think about just

1160
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 4: even the people that are listening right now and feeling

1161
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 4: like I think there's a lot of people that listen

1162
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 4: to like I'm not like Erica or I'm not like

1163
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 4: Jamila or I'm not like Hadya.

1164
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 2: Like how do I I can't?

1165
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,359
Speaker 4: Like, I don't I don't fit into this space like

1166
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 4: I can tap in and listen, but I don't know

1167
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 4: how to adopt these things into my life because I

1168
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 4: don't fit the bill. And it's like, I think a

1169
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 4: lot of a lot of women feel that way, especially

1170
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 4: if they want to tap into the healing community, because

1171
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 4: there is this kind of like persona.

1172
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 2: It's like like.

1173
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 4: This thing that you that you feel feel like people

1174
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:05,320
Speaker 4: present as in order to fit in, and it doesn't

1175
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 4: escape any sort of community. Doesn't escape the healing community,

1176
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 4: it doesn't escape the beauty community, it doesn't escape any

1177
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 4: fucking community. There's always kind of like a mask of

1178
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:19,479
Speaker 4: some sort. But I feel like even you know, even

1179
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 4: I've had to feel even I've had to stepping into

1180
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 4: this healing space and stepping into this idea of me

1181
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:29,919
Speaker 4: being a retreat leader, like do I fit the bill?

1182
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 4: Am I like judging myself?

1183
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 6: Like?

1184
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 2: Am I like?

1185
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 4: Am I earthy enough for this? Or am I am

1186
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 4: I like? Do I moan loud enough? Or do I like?

1187
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 4: There's even in the in the process of me leading women,

1188
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 4: I'm also judging myself at times and guide and trying

1189
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:51,280
Speaker 4: to work through things. But I think like the beauty

1190
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 4: of the work that we do is that, like, not

1191
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 4: only do we get to help other women, but ultimately

1192
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 4: we're healing ourselves too. It's almost selfish work in ways

1193
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 4: it's selfish, but obviously it's not, but it is. It's

1194
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 4: self serving and it should be because I think like

1195
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 4: we have to feel we have to fill our cups

1196
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 4: in order to kind of you know, fill the cups

1197
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 4: of other people. But that healing doesn't look different, doesn't

1198
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 4: look the same for everyone, and it always looks different.

1199
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 4: And you can be wearing a fucking Beyonce wig and

1200
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 4: be a top notch meditator, or you could be had

1201
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 4: the biggest titties in the world and you know, lead

1202
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 4: an ayahuasca retreat. You know, and it doesn't necessarily take

1203
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 4: away from It doesn't take it not necessarily. It doesn't

1204
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 4: take away from what the goal is, which is to

1205
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 4: heal women, to heal yourself, to hold space for people.

1206
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,280
Speaker 3: It doesn't take it away, but I'll tell you you're definitely

1207
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 3: going to be judged by it, absolutely, And that's why

1208
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 3: people are triggered by that. You know, you're you know

1209
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 3: because like you said, first of all, I want to

1210
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 3: say I love your retreats. Let me just say I

1211
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:57,960
Speaker 3: just been wanting to actually before I even go there,

1212
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 3: let me say you like, I love it. And I'm

1213
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,760
Speaker 3: proud of both of you for really stepping into that space.

1214
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 3: Because the true leadership is really being your authentic self

1215
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 3: and opening up the way for other people to do

1216
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 3: the same thing, for other women to do the same thing.

1217
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,840
Speaker 3: And that's what I see. So when we're judging ourselves

1218
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,879
Speaker 3: like oh am I great enough? Or am I really

1219
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 3: this leader? You are leading? You are leading by being you.

1220
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 3: That's what they came from. If you were trying to,

1221
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 3: like if you were signing up to this what is that,

1222
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 3: like this like course on how to be a leader,

1223
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:35,319
Speaker 3: and you were following it straight, you know, chapter one

1224
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 3: chapter two. Okay, I'm certified leader. Now, No, you're certified

1225
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 3: because you showed up. Because you showed up just like

1226
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 3: that badass. Look at the name good Mom, Bad Choices.

1227
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 3: I mean, that's original. That's what people want. They like that.

1228
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 3: That's like, wow, that's out the box. And so all

1229
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 3: the people who are gravitating towards that are out the

1230
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 3: box just like you, and they want a place to

1231
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 3: fit into that. They want to fit into your work, like,

1232
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,959
Speaker 3: oh wow, this is more like me. So it's great

1233
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 3: that you're doing this, just.

1234
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 2: So you know, Like, no, I mean, I love what

1235
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 2: I do.

1236
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm just basically, I'm just saying, is that,

1237
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 4: like it doesn't it's not one size fits all essentially,

1238
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,399
Speaker 4: And like I don't think any retreat leader shows up

1239
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 4: totally healed and ready all the time, like and knowing

1240
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 4: all the answers and having all the answers, and like,

1241
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 4: I just show up at these retreats as like this

1242
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 4: healed person like that has it all together.

1243
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 2: Bitch. No, No, I'm just a vessel. Like I'm not.

1244
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 2: I'm not like healed.

1245
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 3: But they think that though, you know, like people will

1246
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 3: think that and they'll get disappointed and when they see

1247
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 3: that you're human. Yeah, you're also human. You know.

1248
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 1: I'm super grateful to have for all of us to

1249
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 1: have created a space that is just true to being

1250
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 1: not perfect. You know, like no one could come to

1251
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: us and talk shit like I just said, I knew

1252
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 1: everything you know.

1253
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 3: And that's what I'm gravity That's what you see in me.

1254
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 3: So when you said that you're gravitated towards my energy,

1255
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 3: that's what I see in you. And because you just

1256
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 3: said something that I just love, I just fell in

1257
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 3: love with you. A little while ago. You just said

1258
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 3: you said, I'm not even healed from that. He was

1259
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 3: just like, I'm not healed from what? That's why do

1260
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 3: you understand by you saying you're not healed? That is

1261
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 3: why people are going to want to come to your experiences.

1262
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,440
Speaker 3: You would think that you have to appear to be here. No,

1263
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 3: I'm not healed, okay, but my hair linking to bio.

1264
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 2: I'm not here. I'm not perfect. But do you want

1265
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 2: to come not be perfect? Let's be imperfect together.

1266
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:33,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, but they will come because you're being this.

1267
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 2: Is I mean, that's why I would come, you know

1268
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 2: what I mean. That's and that.

1269
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 4: I didn't want to go on a retreat with a

1270
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 4: bunch of bitches who think they're perfect, or that's too

1271
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 4: much pressure, too much pressure, as so much pressure, I'm

1272
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 4: going to be performing.

1273
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be able to be myself.

1274
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 4: I'm not going to be able to you know, unwind

1275
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 4: and scream and have my titties out of the jungle.

1276
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 4: Like I'm not like I'm gonna feel like I have

1277
00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 4: to be performative.

1278
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:56,280
Speaker 2: I also think.

1279
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 1: That's the beauty of us just being in this time

1280
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: where we have the unique opportunity to I mean, like

1281
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 1: you have had an experience where you've been a part

1282
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: of like these very rigid cult like religions, which for me,

1283
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: you know, religion has some has some good, you know,

1284
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 1: but I think putting people in the box and saying

1285
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: this is wrong and this is good and this is

1286
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 1: how you'll get to heaven is just not healthy, you know,

1287
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 1: like just let's just start there.

1288
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 2: It's not good, you know, because we're all here to we're.

1289
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 4: All going to fuck up, no matter what you believe

1290
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 4: in Adam and Eve, everybody fucked up.

1291
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: Like, let's be clear, you know, nobody's perfect. And I

1292
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 1: think I always say, like the religion is being true

1293
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 1: to yourself. The religion is like letting spirit.

1294
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,120
Speaker 4: Guide you, and and and and that and and saying

1295
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 4: I'm flawed, I'm fucked up, like I'm not perfect. But

1296
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 4: I think that is the testimony that I've I've failed,

1297
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 4: I've faltered, I've cried, I've loved the wrong digging, I've

1298
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 4: been addicted to the wrong dick, you know what I mean.

1299
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 2: I haven't. Now I'm working on it.

1300
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 1: I'm trying to have healthy love and I'm trying to

1301
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: figure it out. And it doesn't need to look like

1302
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 1: that doesn't need to look like that bitch over there,

1303
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 1: and it may not even look like what I thought

1304
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: it was going to look like, you know, like maybe

1305
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 1: I'll have two husbands, you know.

1306
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 4: Maybe he'll have another bitch on over there. You know,

1307
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 4: like I don't know what that I am.

1308
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 3: Okay, let's talk about that.

1309
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:23,919
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, I'm trying to get in your business because

1310
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 4: I felt that.

1311
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:25,760
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, let's just go there because I'm

1312
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:28,000
Speaker 3: not you ask me anything, really, it doesn't matter to me.

1313
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 2: I love that, you know, because we're open books.

1314
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 4: But yeah, like I'm I I am working on just

1315
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 4: dismantling the idea of what my family dynamic may look

1316
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 4: like with my potential husband may look like, you know,

1317
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 4: I do want to be kept in ways. I want

1318
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 4: to be a wife. I'm domestic.

1319
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: I could cook and shit, but I don't want to

1320
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: do it all. And sometimes I when you get the

1321
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,439
Speaker 1: funk away from because you're gonna get my nerves, like god,

1322
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: you know. And then I'm in a relationship with someone

1323
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 1: right now who's like very non traditional, and there's all

1324
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: these things that are coming up that I love this person,

1325
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: but there are things that I I'm having to relearn

1326
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 1: and like you know, we're not monogamous.

1327
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 2: And then sometimes I'm triggered. I'm like, I'm so jealous.

1328
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:05,800
Speaker 2: This is not for me.

1329
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 4: Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this?

1330
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 4: I'm stressed out, like I'm over it. Let's not do this.

1331
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 4: But also it's like how much do I really like?

1332
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 4: How much is it really bothering me? Like do I

1333
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 4: still do I still love you? I do you know

1334
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 4: what I mean? Like I would much rather nigga tell me. Oh,

1335
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 4: I mean know, I'm gonna be here and go see

1336
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 4: this girl. This is who it is.

1337
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 1: I want to say, Hi, hey girl, all right, hit

1338
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 1: me when you're done, you know what I mean? Versus

1339
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 1: so many niggas having affairs with coworkers and secretaries and friends.

1340
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: I'm not with that, you know at the and I'm

1341
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: conditioning myself to learn to love the honesty.

1342
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 3: I like that. I like that you're conditioning yourself that way.

1343
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 3: What about you?

1344
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 4: What's your what's your take on the monogamy or the

1345
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 4: marriage or the family structure.

1346
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 3: Listen, It's like, whatever is the it's the best dynamic

1347
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 3: for the two individuals. It's not a one way thing.

1348
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 3: And honestly, there's a lot of women in this world

1349
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 3: and it's not as much men. I look at nature.

1350
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 3: I just we have to be honest. I know that

1351
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 3: the Western culture have taught us that it's one man

1352
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 3: to one woman. I know that this conversation is triggering

1353
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 3: to you know, the traditional family dynamic, the traditional relation

1354
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 3: relationship dynamic. But we have to be honest. I know

1355
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 3: because I know married men and they're my friends, and

1356
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: they always tell me that they're always I'm like, he

1357
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 3: was like, you think I'm gonna really be with my

1358
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 3: wife all the time? And I'm I'm like, she's He's like,

1359
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 3: and I said, did you tell her. He said, yes,

1360
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 3: I told her. And what did she say? She said, no,

1361
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,120
Speaker 3: baby's outside of the marriage and no diseases, but okay,

1362
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 3: And I said, okay, well, as long as you told her.

1363
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that people just need to be honest,

1364
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 3: both men and women, because sometimes women don't want to

1365
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 3: you know, he might not want to stay with this

1366
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,960
Speaker 3: one man either, just half an open I think it's communication.

1367
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 3: That's where it's at.

1368
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 4: For me.

1369
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 3: I don't have a listen. If there's a great man

1370
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 3: and he's doing really well in life and he got

1371
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 3: hisself together and he wants to build and he has

1372
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 3: a woman, I'm like, let's all sit down and get

1373
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 3: this bag, like, let's have a conversation about this. But

1374
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,120
Speaker 3: she has to know. We all have to know. We

1375
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 3: all have to be mature enough. We all have to

1376
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 3: be spiritually emotionally mature to handle that. And that's the

1377
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:19,160
Speaker 3: issue here. A lot a lot of people are not,

1378
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 3: and that's why they sneak and hurt. That's where the

1379
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 3: pain comes in. It's lying and hurting, and it's unnecessary pain.

1380
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,920
Speaker 3: You may not like it, but at least you know it,

1381
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 3: you know what to expect. You might as well, just

1382
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:32,640
Speaker 3: like try to work together. I just think that everybody

1383
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 3: should work together. I say, the dream work, the teamwork,

1384
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:37,960
Speaker 3: let's do it. I agree, I'm here for it. I'm

1385
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 3: not but but but a deserving man. So you have

1386
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 3: to be the man, has to be a great leader

1387
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 3: for that to happen.

1388
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 1: And I think we've been very we've been polluted on

1389
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 1: what like divine masculinity looks like. You know, what we

1390
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: think it is and what it actually is and how

1391
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: it shows up may look different than what we thought.

1392
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 1: It may not be Jesson in Mamoa, because that's what

1393
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 1: I hoped if it looked like, but it's not. You know,

1394
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 1: this looks like all these different things, and like honoring

1395
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: that and honoring what really feels good to you and

1396
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: not what it looks like to other people, and just

1397
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 1: just doing that.

1398
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 2: And for men too.

1399
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: I think men have a hard time being like, oh,

1400
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 1: if I'm doing this, maybe you'll do this too.

1401
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, nigga, Yeah, that's what the issue really is.

1402
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 2: That's really that issue is. The issue is niggas case.

1403
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:25,720
Speaker 3: That's what I got a sneak and you be the

1404
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 3: perfect wife waiting for me when I'm done running town.

1405
01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 3: You just have everything, my food cooked, be able to

1406
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: rub my back when I need it, and be that comfort,

1407
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 3: that nice stable home. They want to always come back

1408
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 3: to the stability of the me too.

1409
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 2: Nigga. I want to come back to the comfort of

1410
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 2: my safe home too, nigga.

1411
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, after I went to Columbia, after I went

1412
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 4: to Yeah, I did some Dominican Republic. But now I'm

1413
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:55,280
Speaker 4: back because those niggas is fine over there too, not

1414
01:04:55,360 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 4: just the bitches. And they're affordable affordable God treatments in

1415
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 4: the d R.

1416
01:05:03,360 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 2: Is that the next?

1417
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 6: Wait?

1418
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 4: Okay, well, sometimes you pay for what you want, ask

1419
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 4: her what you want, pay for what you.

1420
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 2: Want, not just men, women, I support you, pay what.

1421
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:20,280
Speaker 3: You want affoordable goddess. So are we calling it goddess worship?

1422
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 3: Is we had?

1423
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 4: We had a goddess worship experience in Costa Rica and

1424
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 4: her we shared a man, a worshiper. Yeah, we shared

1425
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 4: a worshiper. He worshiped us for one night after actually

1426
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:30,800
Speaker 4: after our retreat.

1427
01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 1: After two weeks of retreating, we were drained and we

1428
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,120
Speaker 1: had been around so many women and we were we

1429
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 1: knew a man and we said hey.

1430
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 4: He said, hey, we deserve to feel like Goddes says,

1431
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 4: can you do that for us? And he said absolutely,

1432
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:43,760
Speaker 4: and he came over and he delivered.

1433
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 2: And we cook breakfast the next day and rubbed our feet.

1434
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 2: We didn't pay him, but we didn't. We paid for his.

1435
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 4: Cap, yeah, and his breakfast.

1436
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 2: And it was maybe will give him one hundred dollars

1437
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 2: next time.

1438
01:05:55,440 --> 01:06:00,120
Speaker 4: I will give that man actually not say that. He

1439
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 4: was deserving and he respected us and he was all.

1440
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 4: He did exactly what we asked him.

1441
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 1: To do so and we laughed and we joked and

1442
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:10,280
Speaker 1: we pumped each other up and I manifested four million

1443
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 1: dollars and she pushed my hips and she said, eat

1444
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 1: her pussy, that's my friend.

1445
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,360
Speaker 2: And I was like whoa.

1446
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 4: And it was great and it was a beautiful, harmonious

1447
01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 4: friendship experience.

1448
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:24,440
Speaker 2: And I love that, And yeah, I think I think

1449
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 2: you know.

1450
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:29,000
Speaker 3: I love that. Eat her pussy, that's my friend. That's

1451
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:33,080
Speaker 3: a nice T shirt like a crop top and you

1452
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 3: put the arrow next to each other.

1453
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we need best friends shirt. The amount

1454
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:42,959
Speaker 2: of merch ideas we've had on the show that.

1455
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 3: I'm always thinking about, like creating businesses out of these conversations.

1456
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 2: Every time I feel like it would be a hit.

1457
01:06:50,480 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 3: Hey, eat her pussy. That's my friend.

1458
01:06:52,320 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 4: Well, before we get out of here, I would love

1459
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:55,440
Speaker 4: for you to pull a card Audia.

1460
01:06:56,200 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 3: That's a book too anyway, right, No, that's my friend.

1461
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:09,160
Speaker 4: How to how to manifest in multiple multiples.

1462
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 2: Very powerful multiples, this.

1463
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 3: Girl, I'm manifesting multiples, multiples of everything.

1464
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 2: Of everything.

1465
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 4: I literally was like four million first of all, like two.

1466
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 4: When I was like, no need to each four million,

1467
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 4: it was great. I'm coming on the next, Come on,

1468
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 4: the Three of Swords.

1469
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:34,480
Speaker 2: What do we have here? The Three of Swords?

1470
01:07:35,240 --> 01:07:41,640
Speaker 1: Heartbreak, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, hurt. When the Three of

1471
01:07:41,680 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 1: Swords turns up in a tyrot, reading the signals that

1472
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 1: you are feeling deeply hurt and disappointed, this is me.

1473
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 2: I'm not hail.

1474
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:53,440
Speaker 1: Your heart has been pierced by the sharp blades of

1475
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 1: others hurtful words, actions and intentions, and they have inflicted

1476
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 1: intense emotions of pain, sadness, grief, and heartbreak. These are

1477
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,160
Speaker 1: events are often unexpected and come out of the blue,

1478
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:03,560
Speaker 1: making them even more painful.

1479
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 2: The Three of Swords. It's also about.

1480
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 4: An emotional release when you have suffered a major setback

1481
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 4: or loss.

1482
01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:11,600
Speaker 1: Now is an excellent time to have a good cry.

1483
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 1: Expressing your sadness is part of the cleansing process, and

1484
01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:16,720
Speaker 1: letting it all out will help you move on to

1485
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:20,559
Speaker 1: better times. Allow yourself the opportunity to experience these emotions,

1486
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:21,679
Speaker 1: no matter how painful.

1487
01:08:22,320 --> 01:08:24,760
Speaker 2: Cry, shout, scream.

1488
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 4: Or moan that at the top of your lungs. Do

1489
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:31,840
Speaker 4: whatever it takes to express your anger or pain, as

1490
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:35,000
Speaker 4: this will help the emotions flow through and out of you.

1491
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 4: I mean, I think that's pretty spot on for all

1492
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,080
Speaker 4: the things you're talking about, just even the pain of

1493
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,760
Speaker 4: like you know, maybe like our children not at fully

1494
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 4: understanding us. And then also as saying how important it

1495
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,799
Speaker 4: is for women to scream, let it out and release

1496
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:54,880
Speaker 4: that pain and all those things like every time the

1497
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:55,439
Speaker 4: cars be.

1498
01:08:57,040 --> 01:08:59,920
Speaker 2: Every single time you do you relate to this card.

1499
01:09:00,680 --> 01:09:04,720
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I'm still healing onswell, you know, it

1500
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,280
Speaker 3: haven't been hasn't even been a full year, and it's

1501
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 3: like I'm trying to date, trying to let somebody in,

1502
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 3: and I'm like really resistant. So yeah, I could see that,

1503
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 3: you know. That's with that, And then like you know,

1504
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 3: being a mother and a daughter is a bit like

1505
01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:22,640
Speaker 3: she's non traditional not saying that, but like kind of

1506
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:25,439
Speaker 3: like gravitating towards her dad more. Yeah, those things are

1507
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 3: kind of like they touch you. Yeah, that's how That's

1508
01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:29,640
Speaker 3: how I feel right now with my daughter. I'm like,

1509
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:32,720
Speaker 3: I wish it was a better connection, you know, but

1510
01:09:33,560 --> 01:09:34,759
Speaker 3: you have to just give that time.

1511
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:39,040
Speaker 4: I think everything is a process, even us, even how

1512
01:09:39,120 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 4: we show up, even us coming into our full you

1513
01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 4: know selves.

1514
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,519
Speaker 1: It's it's it's nothing. It's perfect. And like the Internet

1515
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 1: would make you see, like look at her hula hooping

1516
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:50,080
Speaker 1: on the internet. Everything's gravy over there, or I'm doing this,

1517
01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:53,080
Speaker 1: or you're traveling, and even in you know your purpose

1518
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,599
Speaker 1: and then your healing and as you heal, like we

1519
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:58,599
Speaker 1: are healing too, yep. And shit is not always easy,

1520
01:09:58,640 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 1: it's not always greener. But I am grateful that we're

1521
01:10:01,439 --> 01:10:04,400
Speaker 1: all committed to doing the work and to talking about

1522
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:08,240
Speaker 1: it and being testimonies to you know ship not always

1523
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: being beautiful, but worth it. So thank you, my my

1524
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,800
Speaker 1: sisters and my friends from the internet and all over

1525
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 1: for like for really you know, congregating and flying in

1526
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:25,120
Speaker 1: and all these things to meet some strangers that start internet.

1527
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 3: It doesn't it never feel it didn't feel like that.

1528
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,519
Speaker 3: And this just even in this moment, this feels like

1529
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 3: sacred space, you know what I mean. This feels like

1530
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:37,080
Speaker 3: really close. It feels sacred. It feels cozy, you know,

1531
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 3: it feels like sisterhood. And when we could be vulnerable

1532
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:44,080
Speaker 3: and really like speak about our pain, say hey, I'm

1533
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:47,200
Speaker 3: not healed, this is what I'm going through it it's

1534
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 3: a greater just a greater opportunity for all for all

1535
01:10:51,479 --> 01:10:53,880
Speaker 3: of us to heal when that happens like that, So

1536
01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:55,800
Speaker 3: no one has to put on a mask or have

1537
01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:57,679
Speaker 3: to appear to be like you are on the internet.

1538
01:10:58,160 --> 01:10:59,560
Speaker 3: Like I don't have to like, oh they know me,

1539
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:01,880
Speaker 3: for instance. Let me be like that, just like this

1540
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,800
Speaker 3: is real. This is my pain. That's what I went

1541
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 3: through when I was growing up. This is you know,

1542
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:08,080
Speaker 3: why I'm doing what I'm doing. And it's just nice

1543
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,479
Speaker 3: to be able to like share and I hear someone

1544
01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 3: else says, hey, I'm still healing that to me, it

1545
01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:17,640
Speaker 3: connects that. It's humanity. It's human like. Humanity connects to

1546
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 3: people no matter where you are on is Earth. Just

1547
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,920
Speaker 3: be human, right and it will always connect. We can

1548
01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:26,280
Speaker 3: always connected that space, you know, because.

1549
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 2: We all experienced it.

1550
01:11:27,400 --> 01:11:28,960
Speaker 4: No matter where you came from, who you are, what

1551
01:11:29,040 --> 01:11:33,120
Speaker 4: color you are, parent, whatever, we all go through some

1552
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:35,080
Speaker 4: shit we are and we all experience pain.

1553
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 3: So thank you for having me, Thank you for thank

1554
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:40,000
Speaker 3: you for having me here.

1555
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 2: Can you tell our people where they can find Wait?

1556
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:44,400
Speaker 2: Wait wait wait wait need an affirmation? Do you have an affirmation?

1557
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 2: And this is gonna be good. I have a feeling.

1558
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:52,160
Speaker 3: So this is what we want say that we should say,

1559
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:56,439
Speaker 3: especially when we're going to through a transition. And this

1560
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,719
Speaker 3: came to me when I was talking to a friend

1561
01:11:58,720 --> 01:12:00,720
Speaker 3: of mine about the breakup that I was going through

1562
01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:03,800
Speaker 3: at the beginning, and he was saying to me, oh,

1563
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:05,719
Speaker 3: you sure you don't know what's on the other side.

1564
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 3: Are you sure you want to do this? You're sure

1565
01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:09,400
Speaker 3: you want to let this go? And then I said,

1566
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:16,160
Speaker 3: I am open to my next level of elevation, no

1567
01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:20,880
Speaker 3: matter how it may come or whom it may come through.

1568
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:22,320
Speaker 3: I surrender.

1569
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:27,519
Speaker 4: I am open to my next level of elevation, no

1570
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:32,160
Speaker 4: matter how it may come or who it may come through.

1571
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:34,040
Speaker 3: I surrender.

1572
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:36,760
Speaker 2: Ooh, I love that.

1573
01:12:36,800 --> 01:12:39,040
Speaker 3: I gotta get that on camera. That's what that affirmation.

1574
01:12:39,320 --> 01:12:41,640
Speaker 3: It takes everything off of me, and I remember I

1575
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:43,720
Speaker 3: was telling my friendship Achi about that, and she was like, Oh,

1576
01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 3: that's scary because it is that.

1577
01:12:49,360 --> 01:12:51,880
Speaker 1: That is the number literally, like I just wrote about this,

1578
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:55,280
Speaker 1: like that, that prayer is the prayer that people are

1579
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:58,800
Speaker 1: most fearful of because they know that one comes with

1580
01:12:58,880 --> 01:13:01,519
Speaker 1: the ship. You don't want to detach from that one

1581
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:05,240
Speaker 1: there makes you have to detach from the ship that

1582
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:07,439
Speaker 1: is maybe not good for you but comfortable for you.

1583
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,559
Speaker 3: Hey, hold on, I gotta get that. Excuse me, what's

1584
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:10,040
Speaker 3: your name?

1585
01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:12,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, right right?

1586
01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:14,439
Speaker 3: Can you please record this point now?

1587
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:15,000
Speaker 2: It's all.

1588
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:19,880
Speaker 3: I want this part right the media queen, I am

1589
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,840
Speaker 3: open that part because you are breaking it down in

1590
01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:23,760
Speaker 3: a way that I really wanted to hear.

1591
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:25,000
Speaker 2: But I do I think.

1592
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:27,760
Speaker 4: I think that that statement that prayer is always like

1593
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:30,120
Speaker 4: give me what is best for me, no matter what

1594
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:30,720
Speaker 4: it looks like.

1595
01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:33,439
Speaker 2: When you even when I know when I say that.

1596
01:13:33,360 --> 01:13:36,519
Speaker 4: Shit in secret like alone, I'm like, okay, bitch, you're

1597
01:13:36,560 --> 01:13:40,080
Speaker 4: ready for the change because it comes with absolutely releasing

1598
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:44,000
Speaker 4: even the things that are toxic but comfortable because we

1599
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:46,360
Speaker 4: attached to things that are comfortable even when they are toxic.

1600
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:50,080
Speaker 1: But when you welcome that prayer of surrendering. That is

1601
01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:51,840
Speaker 1: when the shifts happen.

1602
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:55,000
Speaker 4: It's usually literally be careful, it's don't be careful, do it.

1603
01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:57,760
Speaker 4: But it's like a four to seven day period.

1604
01:13:57,800 --> 01:14:01,960
Speaker 3: Because you think that you know how the healing is

1605
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:03,760
Speaker 3: going to happen, or you think you can control it

1606
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:05,919
Speaker 3: or choose it. So I wanted to say that affirmation

1607
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 3: one more time together, because that's it's it, just it's

1608
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:10,840
Speaker 3: so healing every time I say it, and then I

1609
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:11,799
Speaker 3: hear more people saying.

1610
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:12,000
Speaker 2: It with me.

1611
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:14,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, let's do this work, all right, one, two, three.

1612
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:20,840
Speaker 6: I am open to my next level of elevation, no

1613
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:25,680
Speaker 6: matter how it may it may come, or who it

1614
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:27,120
Speaker 6: may come through.

1615
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:31,640
Speaker 2: I surrender, Yes, yes.

1616
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:34,360
Speaker 3: I surrender, And right there it is out of your hands.

1617
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:34,760
Speaker 2: And it's done.

1618
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:37,680
Speaker 4: And so it is, so it is, and then and

1619
01:14:37,720 --> 01:14:39,960
Speaker 4: then when and then when the universe opens up for

1620
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,439
Speaker 4: you in that way and people fall off and people

1621
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:44,479
Speaker 4: come in, you have no choice but to honor it.

1622
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:45,439
Speaker 2: Because you asked for it.

1623
01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:47,720
Speaker 3: You said I surrender. I surrender, and you said no

1624
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:49,760
Speaker 3: matter how it may come. And you know what, it's

1625
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 3: times where people think that they like, oh, I don't

1626
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:54,639
Speaker 3: know why, why did this happen with this person, or

1627
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:57,360
Speaker 3: why this person ghosted me or cut me off, and

1628
01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:58,920
Speaker 3: it's like they.

1629
01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:00,599
Speaker 2: No longer serve You just said. You just said it.

1630
01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:04,000
Speaker 2: You said you were open to whoever and however it looks.

1631
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:06,519
Speaker 3: Or that next new love in your life, and like, wait,

1632
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:08,400
Speaker 3: I didn't know what it was going to come through him?

1633
01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:10,240
Speaker 2: Who's this?

1634
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:14,000
Speaker 3: He's short yea? Or oh that's a crap top on

1635
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:17,320
Speaker 3: or he's another race. I mean exactly. I'm just saying, yeah,

1636
01:15:17,320 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 3: that's true that you said you was open no matter

1637
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:23,920
Speaker 3: how it may come, it may come through I'm just saying, yeah,

1638
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:27,160
Speaker 3: it could be a woman too. I'm just saying, you

1639
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:29,439
Speaker 3: just said that, surrender.

1640
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:32,599
Speaker 2: It's true. It's true. Oh my god. Okay, Well tell

1641
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:33,840
Speaker 2: our people where they can find you.

1642
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:38,559
Speaker 3: They can find me on Instagram at Hadiya Barbel and

1643
01:15:38,640 --> 01:15:39,599
Speaker 3: at goddess glow.

1644
01:15:39,479 --> 01:15:41,920
Speaker 4: Up hey, and all of her information will be the

1645
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:44,479
Speaker 4: description of this episode, and you guys know where to

1646
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:48,240
Speaker 4: find us. Good Mom's Bad Choices dot Com. We have

1647
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:50,519
Speaker 4: a retreat coming up. You don't want to miss this ship.

1648
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,479
Speaker 1: There's a lot of shit happening over there, a lot

1649
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,120
Speaker 1: of healing, a lot of screaming, a lot of moaning

1650
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,400
Speaker 1: in the jungle, a lot of titties out, a lot

1651
01:15:56,439 --> 01:15:59,200
Speaker 1: of sisterhood, a lot of new friendships that are being created.

1652
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,639
Speaker 1: So please join us in Costa Rica.

1653
01:16:01,720 --> 01:16:02,599
Speaker 2: We have two dates.

1654
01:16:02,680 --> 01:16:06,360
Speaker 1: We have a Trap Yoga Bay joining us week one

1655
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:09,679
Speaker 1: and we have a Sexual Essentials joining us week two.

1656
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 2: It's going to be bomb as fuck.

1657
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:15,679
Speaker 1: And also rate and review this episode, and of course

1658
01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:18,839
Speaker 1: please join us on Patreon where we have all this secret,

1659
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:21,640
Speaker 1: top secret ship that we don't tell everybody because we

1660
01:16:21,680 --> 01:16:25,680
Speaker 1: tell everything but not everything. Patreon dot com backslash Good

1661
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:48,400
Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices, Bye bye bye