1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I want my stuff. 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:18,760 Speaker 1: I never told you a production by Heart Radio, and 3 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: today we are bringing back an episode that it was 4 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: inspired by something I recently mentioned, wherein I had a 5 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:34,879 Speaker 1: good friend help me avoid my landlord recently. And what 6 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 1: happened was this, She was very kind and drove me 7 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 1: to and from my house for the holidays, and when 8 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,480 Speaker 1: she was dropping me off, my landlord was outside of 9 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: my building and he was talking to someone very very enthusiastically, 10 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,319 Speaker 1: like a lot of hand gestures and all of this, 11 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: and I said, listen here, he's going to be there 12 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: for a minute. And I have I had all these 13 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: gifts from Christmas, you know, And so I didn't want 14 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: to be going back and forth with heavy things because 15 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: he stopped me before and talked to me when I 16 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: was carrying heavy things and didn't seem to notice that 17 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: my arms were shaking. And it was a bad situation. 18 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: And so she said to me, all right, well, we'll 19 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,199 Speaker 1: just sit here and we'll wait him out. This must 20 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: have gone on for ten minutes. He was going on 21 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: and on. We were trying to debate, like how we 22 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: could get around him, if we could help the person 23 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: he was talking to because I've been in this situation. 24 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: Like someone get me. 25 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: I felt bad, but eventually he did. He meandered off 26 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: and we we like booked it into my apartment with 27 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: these items and Casey came back. But this reminded me 28 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: of an episode we did, but that was also at 29 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: the time inspired by him in part about. 30 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: Ever listens to our show one day, Oh, one day, 31 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: I'm in trouble. 32 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: I'm in trouble. 33 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 2: Hilarious. 34 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: Actually, I think I think I kind of have the 35 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: upper hand right now, that is what I will say. 36 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: But anyway, I was at the time when we recorded 37 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: this originally, I was complaining about how I think that 38 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: it's a lot of times not the truth, not the 39 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: case that women talk more than men, or at least 40 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: in that way, that you're just taking up somebody's time, 41 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: because it's always My mom used to get teased for 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: it a lot, like, oh, she's just chatting away. But 43 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: then when I would actually pay attention, it was usually 44 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 1: a man who she was just listening to patiently and 45 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: he was not picking up that she actually had things 46 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: to do. And so this episode was just an examination 47 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: of where did that that idea come from, that women 48 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: are the ones who are doing all of the talking, 49 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: so please enjoy this classic episode. Hey, this is Anny 50 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: and Samantha, and welcome to stef I never told you 51 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: a protection of iHeartRadio. And welcome to another episode of 52 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: Monday Minnie. I will say this is kind of a 53 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: surprise Monday Mini, because I had another topic planned and 54 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: it did not work out. You will hear about it 55 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: in an upcoming episode because it was just it needed 56 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: a whole episode. So this kind of came late to 57 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: me in the day yesterday as we're recording this, and 58 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: it's about I had to make a phone call listeners, 59 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: and if you know me, I hate talking on the phone. 60 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: I once said I would rather punch you, punch me 61 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: in the face than call me on the phone. I 62 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: hate it. I think the very worst thing has happened. 63 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: I cannot hear you. I am awkward. I do not 64 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: like it. So I had to talk on the phone 65 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: the other day. On top of this, I've been trying 66 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,599 Speaker 1: to reach my mom and I haven't been able to 67 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: do it. But she's one of the few people I 68 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: do talk on the phone with, and as I was 69 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: calling her, I remembered kind of this teasing she got 70 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: when I was growing up that she talked on the 71 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 1: phone way too much. She always was on the phone, 72 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: Like there's a you know, popular story in my family 73 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: where my little brother once cut the phone cord because 74 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: he was so frustrated that she wasn't paying attention to him. 75 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: And it got me thinking about this trope about how 76 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: women talk too much, like they're always that they talk 77 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: way more than men. In this case, I was thinking 78 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 1: specifically about the phone. But I found some research on this. 79 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: But I will say this, this is going to be 80 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: a brief, broad explanation and it's more Western oriented, so 81 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: keep that in mind, so that there is probably a 82 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: lot more we could say about this. But in terms 83 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: of me just trying to understand this stereotype that was 84 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: used to kind of tease my mom, this is what 85 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: I found. So yeah, I found this history of like 86 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: the trope of why people think women talk too much 87 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: are that they talk more than men. We have done 88 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: episodes on women typically being the more social sex, like 89 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: having more friends, maintaining more relationships, and the societal reasons 90 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,919 Speaker 1: why that is. Like if you remember in our Emotional 91 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: Labor episode, we talked about how often in heterosexual heteronormative relationships, 92 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: the woman is the one who keeps the contact with 93 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 1: the family the man's family up like she's doing it 94 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: for her family and his family. So there are reasons 95 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: why that might be. But I was just kind of 96 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,480 Speaker 1: curious about this because I've heard her side of it, 97 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: and her side of it was always that it was 98 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 1: men she was talking to and that she's being very 99 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: polite with who did not pick up on her many 100 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 1: cues that the conversation was over, so she was like 101 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 1: being nice and they just kept going. And that reminded 102 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: me of several instances in my life that I've talked 103 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: about on the show, especially in a dating situation, where 104 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,559 Speaker 1: you're like, I have not said a word this whole time, 105 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: and I would like to leave, please. I could put 106 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: a card cut out here and you'd be just as 107 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: well off. You would not notice I was gone, and 108 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: I could be doing something else. So I just started 109 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: I started thinking about it, and she's That's not to 110 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: say she doesn't have like conversations and sometimes the long 111 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 1: conversations with women in her life, but she's actually pretty good. 112 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: And sometimes I feel like this is my fault because 113 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm always so busy and that's sort of a thing 114 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: that doesn't make me feel great. But she's pretty good 115 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: at being like, okay, this, we're done. You know, this 116 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: conversation has gone on. I can tell I have to 117 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: do stuff, you have to do stuff. That's how she 118 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: is with me, and I've heard her like that with 119 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: her sisters, her female friends. So I was just sort 120 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: of thinking about this, and especially in terms of like 121 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: kind of that very heteronormative joke of like the husband 122 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: being annoyed at his wife because they're late because she 123 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: was on the phone, or makeup and hair and all 124 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: that other stuff, but like, she was on the phone, 125 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: but at least in my experience, in this particular thing 126 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: that I'm thinking of, it was the men who were 127 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: talking that were keeping my mom and making her late. 128 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: So okay. The trope has a very long history. There 129 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: are multiple proverbs about it. A woman's tongue wags like 130 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: a lanced hill, never still, many women, many words, a 131 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: whole doll name chat Kathy, which I used to get 132 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: called that all the time, And I feel like I 133 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: didn't really sometimes sometimes I talked a lot, but I 134 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: feel like you're in general, I really did droughout history 135 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: a lot of literature paints strong men as quote silent 136 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: types who settle things with their fists, and women who 137 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: use their words as weapons. There has been an important 138 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: historical difference in the Western depiction of gendered talking. So 139 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: it's that men talk about quote, important stuff, women talk 140 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: about frivolous stuff. And this goes back to philosophers of 141 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,679 Speaker 1: ancient Greek and Roman times. Aristotle once suggested that women 142 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 1: are liars and complainers, and women in general were just 143 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: painted as weaker speakers, like they didn't really know what 144 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: they were saying. A famous Greek writer claimed that women 145 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: should essentially stay silent outside of the home. At the time, 146 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: it was largely believed that only men should engage in 147 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: public speaking virtuous women were not supposed to be involved 148 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 1: in anything public, supposed to be focused on the domestic. 149 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: So that's the thought, that's how it went. It was 150 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: considered unfeminine to be vocal, especially in regards to men. 151 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: Don't ever speak your mind to men. That's sort of 152 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: the saying. I even found something that sort of traced 153 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: it back to Adam and even being like. 154 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 2: One. 155 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,559 Speaker 1: She was foolish and look what we got because of her, 156 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: but also kind of that's a ductress, like she could 157 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: bewitch you or something with her voice, so that's that 158 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,439 Speaker 1: play as well. In religious documents out of the twelfth 159 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: and thirteenth centuries spoke of women's false tongues. Some historians 160 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: speculate that this is when we got the phrase old 161 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: wives tale. Actually, oh so, in wake of all of 162 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: the death of the Black plague in Europe, there was 163 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: so much turmoil and women were often some of the 164 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: loudest voices about injustice and inequality and all that, and 165 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: they were viewed as danger and threatening to the status quo, 166 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: especially when a lot more of society ran on orally 167 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: based arguments, so it was seen as very dangerous that 168 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: they were speaking out. And pre Internet, this gossip was 169 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: the Internet. That's how people like shared what was going on, 170 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,720 Speaker 1: and the powers that be wanted to crack down on 171 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: what they called the sins of the tongue. Women were 172 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: the majority of those prosecuted for defamation and quote scolding 173 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: at the time. Most historical depictions of scolds are women. 174 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,080 Speaker 1: Just the use of the word gossip parkens back to 175 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: the idea that women's talk is frivolous and it's unimportant, 176 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: like how we view it today. When you use the 177 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: word gossip, it's often got that connotation. At one time 178 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: that word meant godparent, which was generally used for folks 179 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: at a christening. However, as time passed, it pretty much 180 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: came to just refer to women at such an event, 181 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: and then after more time passed, it was associated with 182 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: women talking frivolously once again. During the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, 183 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: quiet modest women were prized. That was like an admirable trait. 184 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: When they did speak, they had very high expectations to meet. 185 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,679 Speaker 1: Their words had to be measured and calculated. A quiet 186 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: respectful to a woman was desired. Allow trill woman was not. 187 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: And I know immediately your feminist bells are probably ringing 188 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: because that word trill has been used so many times 189 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: against feminism. And that does bring us to modern day 190 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: comparisons because we are still feeling this to this day. 191 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 1: It's in how we police and judge women's voices, how 192 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: much we talk. Classroom studies have found boys take up 193 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: a majority of speaking time. Boys were also called on 194 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: more frequently, but the teacher's large reported the girls were 195 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: taking up more time, even though that wasn't true. Yes, 196 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: the boys were also more likely to interrupt the girls, 197 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: which we've talked about before. Studies into the professional world 198 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: have suggested that this rewards men for speaking but punishes 199 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: women for speaking, So of course they aren't going to 200 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: voice their ideas, concerns, what have you as much if 201 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,199 Speaker 1: that's the case. So men speaking up, you get lauded, 202 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: you get promoted. Women speaking up, you get jazzed, you 203 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,199 Speaker 1: get ignored. These again, this is a very broad stroke. 204 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: There's a lot of nuances here that I just thought 205 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: this was interesting because I was just thinking of like 206 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: my mom getting teased about talking too much on the phone. 207 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: But it is true because it was sort of the 208 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,839 Speaker 1: the implication was she was like wasting time and doing 209 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: something frivolous, you know what I mean. Like it was 210 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: very like she's on the phone again. And when women 211 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: do speak up in traditionally male spaces, I think that 212 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: it is going to get noticed more or not because 213 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: of the substance of it, unfortunately, but because it's quote 214 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,959 Speaker 1: different because it has been traditionally a male dominated space. 215 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: So if you think about a lot of the things 216 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 1: we've talked about on here before about just our experience 217 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: being on a podcast and using our voices. There's so 218 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: much like concern about women in vocal fry. Never mind, 219 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: the men do it too, about women not being trustworthy, 220 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 1: not knowing what they're talking about, not being credible, using 221 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: speech modifiers, like like all of these things to judge 222 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: and dismiss what a woman is saying, and yet the 223 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:43,400 Speaker 1: stereotype is that we can't stop talking. I also think, 224 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: going back to this whole thing on the phone, it 225 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: makes sense to me that women who were largely expected 226 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 1: to stay at home and clean and take care of 227 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: your kids and cook, all of these pretty isolating things 228 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: that you'd want to talk to people on the phone. 229 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: And this was before the internet, so it was also 230 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: a way to get advice. We talked about that in 231 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: our episode about Baby Crocker, Like you couldn't just go 232 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: online and be like, hey, I need a recipe for this, 233 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 1: and I don't have what's in the book that maybe 234 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: you had or or whatever. People would call the people 235 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: or they would listen to Reddy Crocker on the radio 236 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: in this case. But that just makes sense to me. 237 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: And it also like you didn't have a cell phone, 238 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: you weren't texting, right, It's like this was how you. 239 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: Did it right, And oftentimes they're isolated, so they're just 240 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 2: trying to find companionship. Of course, like if they were 241 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 2: expected to be a stay at home mom and they 242 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 2: had just kids like to talk to, and they were 243 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 2: and then they weren't like the subdivisions now, so I'm sure, 244 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 2: but like not to this level. I'm wondering half of 245 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 2: them being like, oh, this is companionship or trying to 246 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 2: find like talk to my mom because I miss her, 247 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 2: like stuff like that, which is completely normal as we're 248 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 2: opposed to at that point in time, if the men 249 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 2: and were going to work, they had plenty of people 250 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 2: to talk to, too many people to talk to you. Sure, sure, sure, 251 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 2: But then she would also be excited that men came home. 252 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 2: And if they are good partners, she wants to talk 253 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 2: to you about your day. Why would that be a 254 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 2: bad thing. But it has become this whole trivial thing 255 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 2: instead of being like, this is called communication and it's good. 256 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: Right, And it just frustrates me because I feel that 257 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: so many times that trope has been the very tired 258 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: trope of like the man going to work and complaining 259 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 1: about his wife and one of the things he complains 260 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: about is Oh, she's always on the phone, but she 261 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: couldn't have a job back there. I couldn't like have 262 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: a line of credit. She was supposed to stay home. Yeah, 263 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 1: it's track on the phone, right, It's just yeah, it 264 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: annoys me. Even as a kid, I always was kind 265 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: of like, I do I don't get this, I don't 266 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 1: like this. 267 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 2: I don't understand. 268 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I do think this is a way bigger conversation. 269 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: But we've talked about in a bunch of other episodes, 270 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: surprisingly including our true crime episodes and episodes aboutrror movies. 271 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: But when it comes to stuff like gossip that's like 272 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: like it or not, that can help inform you of 273 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: what's going on and what not to do in heavy quotes, 274 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: like what people are talking about, there is a use 275 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: in gossip. Can it be detrimental, can it be terrible? Yes, 276 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: but there's a reason people do it and a lot 277 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: of astitude with learning from how other people in situations 278 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: have been judged and treated. So yeah, again, this could 279 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: be There's a lot more here, but this is a 280 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: quick primer on what I found about this trope. So 281 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: we'll probably revisit one day. But in the meantime, listeners, 282 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: let us know if you have any thoughts on this 283 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: or any experiences about this. Again, this is pretty kind 284 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 1: of Western American oriented, but if it's different in other countries, 285 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: please let us know. You can email us at Stephanie 286 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: Momstuff at iHeartMedia dot com. Can find us on Twitter 287 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff. 288 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: I never told you. We have a tea public store, 289 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: and we have a book you can get wherever you 290 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: get your books. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina, 291 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you 292 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening. Steffane never told you 293 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: this production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, 294 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 1: you can check out the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 295 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: or where you listen to your favorite shows