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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Debbie Brown from the Dropping Gyms podcast. Really

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Speaker 1: excited Me and my girls Zurie Hall from the Hot

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Speaker 1: Happy Mess podcast are bringing you Happy Jim's. That's right.

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Speaker 1: The Black Effect Podcast Network is proud to present the

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Speaker 1: Happy Jim's Virtual Event. It is going down to really

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Speaker 1: equip everyone with all the tools that they need to

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Speaker 1: live the biggest life possible. It's Bipop Mental Health Awareness Month.

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Speaker 1: We want to make sure you have all the tools

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Speaker 1: for your inner and outer work whenever you need it,

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Speaker 1: So don't miss this really unique, once in a lifetime

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Speaker 1: experience where you can find tools on creating balance and

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Speaker 1: manifesting happiness. To join me, Debbie Brown and Zurie Hall

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Speaker 1: for Happy Gems, go to moment house dot com, forward

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Speaker 1: slash Black Effect and get your tickets today. From grandmothers

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Speaker 1: who whispered in their baby girl is two fathers on

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Speaker 1: dimly lit street corners instructing young soldiers to always keep

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Speaker 1: their eyes open. You be queen, You were fired. You

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Speaker 1: will passed through centuries on the hands of your daughters.

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Speaker 1: They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the backs of diamond

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Speaker 1: eyed school children who grow into hymnals recited by amethyst,

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Speaker 1: holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments out of the

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Speaker 1: windows of restored Alchemedo cherios to keep the warmth of

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Speaker 1: their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, Opal Brown

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Speaker 1: courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of jim s

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Speaker 1: King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, wife,

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Speaker 1: told her daughter, and daughter told the ancestors, and the

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Speaker 1: ancestors told me that you would come to give wisdom

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Speaker 1: the house. They Hey, welcome. This is the Dropping Gems podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Debbie Brown, and this is a show

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Speaker 1: where we explore higher consciousness for real life. So it

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Speaker 1: is all about demystifying self care, demystifying personal discovery, demystifying

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Speaker 1: self awareness, and making all of these pieces so easy

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Speaker 1: to fit into your day to day life, because Lord

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Speaker 1: knows we all need the tools and we all already

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Speaker 1: have them inside of us. And this show is really

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Speaker 1: all about exploring how to observe them, utilize them, cultivate them.

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Speaker 1: So this episode today is really in service to recognizing

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Speaker 1: May as Mental Health Month. Mental health is a huge

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Speaker 1: conversation that is shifting the paradigm of our collective consciousness.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's obviously UM psychology has been around for

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Speaker 1: a couple hundred years, UM philosophy has been around for thousands,

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Speaker 1: and self investigation of the human experience and a desire

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Speaker 1: to feel deeply seen and heard, a desire to have

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Speaker 1: access to the highest level possible of our self expression

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Speaker 1: UM and to be known to one another. That is

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Speaker 1: a human desire and longing that has existed by design

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Speaker 1: since the start of humanity. So mental health and mental

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Speaker 1: health excuse me, is having really it's expanded moment in

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Speaker 1: the sun right now where we're able to have these

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Speaker 1: expansive conversations about what our pasts have looked like, what

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Speaker 1: we desire futures to be, how we're experiencing our present moment,

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Speaker 1: and also how to unburden ourselves. You know, something that

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Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed about being alive in this moment in

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Speaker 1: time is all of the conversations we are able to

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Speaker 1: have about our feelings and our experiences. And it's never

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Speaker 1: lost on me how we're really the first of our

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Speaker 1: kinds in this moment. Whatever generation you fall into, if

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Speaker 1: you are alive right now, whatever age you can be five,

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Speaker 1: you can be ninete. UM. This is a moment in

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Speaker 1: time that's never been where we are really practicing and

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Speaker 1: learning how to and standing in our truth UM, and

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Speaker 1: it is a privilege. I was having a conversation with

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Speaker 1: my mom recently we traveled to Mexico, my mother and

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Speaker 1: I my son UH this past week. I spend a

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Speaker 1: lot of time in Mexico. I actually lived there for

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Speaker 1: part of the year UM. And we were just having

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Speaker 1: a conversation about, you know, intergenerationally, what we've all had

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Speaker 1: access to. And I think something that was a really

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Speaker 1: important UM piece of my journey in the last ten years,

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Speaker 1: something I felt really strongly about, was this idea of

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Speaker 1: breaking generational curses UM and in other language that's referred

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Speaker 1: to as really the healing of ancestral trauma or the

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Speaker 1: healing of intergenerational trauma. And you know, I think myself

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Speaker 1: and many people that I know, there was such a

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Speaker 1: deep pride we were taking in that UM. But there's

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Speaker 1: also a humility and a gratitude to be had because

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Speaker 1: every generation did the absolute best they could from the

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Speaker 1: access to consciousness that they had. And the great thing

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Speaker 1: about humanity, UM Lord Willen, is that as we all

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Speaker 1: keep going, every incremental step forward that we make, every

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Speaker 1: healing that we share with ourselves, no matter how deep,

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Speaker 1: it's all in service to the generations that come next.

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Speaker 1: And so yes, many of us are committed to this

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Speaker 1: beautiful moment where we have the privilege and the freedom

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Speaker 1: and the access to be with ourselves as deeply as

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Speaker 1: we're capable of, and to have an access to information

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Speaker 1: and access to the hacks from other people that came

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Speaker 1: before us, the literature, the videos, the podcast like this one.

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Speaker 1: But we also have to honor the fact that all

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Speaker 1: of the generations that came before us, our parents, they

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Speaker 1: did not have all of this, and they did the

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Speaker 1: absolute best they could with the information that was the

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Speaker 1: leading information of the time. So one of the things

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Speaker 1: that she and I were exploring, I think I'll do

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Speaker 1: a whole another episode about this was even just parenting,

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Speaker 1: you know, and and the leading parenting of the time,

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Speaker 1: and the books that you know, my mom was reading

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Speaker 1: at the time. We're talking about things like time out

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Speaker 1: and how that's really needed for kids, and you know,

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Speaker 1: there's their space for time out. There's also time ins,

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Speaker 1: which is you know, what a lot of us call

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Speaker 1: it now. But the piece that we've expanded in now

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Speaker 1: gratefully is that you know, explaining to our children's why

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Speaker 1: they're having a moment to breathe, why they are having

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Speaker 1: a moment of time out, and nurturing their emotions in

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Speaker 1: that process and not isolating them. UM. But that only

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Speaker 1: comes with time, and that only comes with trial and error,

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Speaker 1: and so making peace with where parenting was at at

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Speaker 1: the different stages of our human experience UM can be

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Speaker 1: really powerful to begin to explore and observe and begin

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Speaker 1: to release some against nous around and you know, just

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Speaker 1: looking at it from the purview of what was available

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Speaker 1: for those that came before us, and also recognizing for

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Speaker 1: some the courage and the bravery it took for each

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Speaker 1: to do the best they could in each moment. So

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Speaker 1: those are my thoughts on that I kind of I

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Speaker 1: wasn't expecting to go there, but here we are. So

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Speaker 1: this episode, we are in Mental Health Month, and I

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Speaker 1: had the opportunity to have a really expansive conversation with

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Speaker 1: of my best friends in the world, my soul family,

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Speaker 1: and also the creator of this network that my podcast

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Speaker 1: is on, Charlemagne the God a k a. Leonard. He

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Speaker 1: and I were part of a live series on the

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Speaker 1: Mental Health Coalition Instagram powered by Kenneth Cole and we

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Speaker 1: had a conversation that was called the one to one

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Speaker 1: and so the real basis of it was that everyone

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Speaker 1: needs to talk to someone and Charlemagne, for me, represents UM,

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Speaker 1: one of the closest human beings in my life. And

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Speaker 1: he and I are constantly UM throughout the week in

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Speaker 1: conversation about our growth and what we're learning and ourselves,

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Speaker 1: and such an honor and a joy to have that

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Speaker 1: depth of friendship in my life. And so he and

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Speaker 1: I talked about that. We talked about UM, the way

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Speaker 1: that we connect with one another. We talked insights on

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Speaker 1: self care and black mental health, and we were joined

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Speaker 1: by the phenomenal Dr Alphie, who is also both of

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Speaker 1: us are on the founding board of Charlemagne's foundation, the

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Speaker 1: Mental Health Alliance, and Dr Alphie is just such an

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Speaker 1: incredibly brilliant doctor, psychologist, woman, soul scientist UM. And so

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Speaker 1: we all got to weigh in on how we experience

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Speaker 1: mental health and how we experience connecting with other people

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Speaker 1: for the benefit of our mental health. So I thought,

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Speaker 1: this week, I'd love to share this conversation with you.

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Speaker 1: So here we go. Charlemagne got here live from the

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Speaker 1: Mental Health Coalition. You're about to have us a nice

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Speaker 1: little lively conversation today. These have been called one to

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Speaker 1: one courtesy and a Mental health Coalition. What's happening, my sister, Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: I love you. I'm so happy to see your face.

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Speaker 1: I love you more. You know, we're doing where we're

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Speaker 1: coming from. The Mental Health Coalition handle today for their

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Speaker 1: thirty one Days and May project. You know as well

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Speaker 1: as I do that May is mental Health Awareness Month,

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Speaker 1: and every single day in May we're gonna they're gonna

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Speaker 1: have live conversations about mental health, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: always tell folks on the only way we're gonna eradicate

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Speaker 1: the stigma around mental health of all of us to

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Speaker 1: tell our stories. So you know, that's what we're here

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Speaker 1: today to do. Absolutely absolutely owning. Owning our stories and

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Speaker 1: being an acceptance of our stories is such a big

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Speaker 1: part of what the work is the work of self,

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Speaker 1: the work of healing, the work of the soul. You know,

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Speaker 1: I think sometimes our stories can really limit us. But

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Speaker 1: when we connect to them and use them as things

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Speaker 1: that don't define us and are in judgment for ourselves,

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Speaker 1: for our stories, there's just so much opportunity I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: ask you a question, and I want to honest answer. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And it's a question nowadays that you should not ask

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Speaker 1: people if you don't want to honest answer. Oh Lord,

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Speaker 1: how are you? Oh? I feel very equipped for this

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Speaker 1: moment of my life. M hm, So I feel I

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Speaker 1: feel very well, I feel nourished, I feel good. But

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Speaker 1: life is also has its challenges, which I think for

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Speaker 1: all of us, and I speak to that to say

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Speaker 1: it's so important. I think a lot of people see

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Speaker 1: me meditating on the Graham, or you know, see me

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Speaker 1: working in wellness, and the imagination is that, oh, you've

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Speaker 1: reached that limit and now everything is peace, and everything

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Speaker 1: is constant tranquility. And yes, I do feel peace a

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Speaker 1: resounding amount of the time. But my life is like

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Speaker 1: every human experience that's filled with challenge. And I think

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Speaker 1: what these tools give us when we do lock into

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Speaker 1: healing work is that the way we feel about ourselves

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to have against this, it doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: have charged right. We can go through all of the

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Speaker 1: challenges that we may face with a little more stability,

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Speaker 1: a little more grace, a little more structure to our healing,

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Speaker 1: and a little bit more ability to be um equipped

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Speaker 1: to meet our own needs. Mhmm. So what if you

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Speaker 1: what about those moments when you show up and you

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Speaker 1: you you know, you say you feel equipped? What about

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Speaker 1: those moments when you don't feel equipped? Because that's the

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Speaker 1: thing about life, right, It's always these ebbs and flows.

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Speaker 1: Like some days you're like, you up and you're ready

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Speaker 1: for the challenge, and some days you're like, y'all, I'll

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Speaker 1: just exhausted. I'm drained. I don't have anything to pour

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Speaker 1: in anybody because I need to light pouring to me. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know what, It's interesting, right because by the word equipped,

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Speaker 1: I never said that I had every tool, and so

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Speaker 1: I think, um, we have to reevaluate what equipped me?

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Speaker 1: And sometimes equipped is I have the ability to stop right, Like,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's a day like I had a few weeks

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Speaker 1: ago where I did feel deeply depressed. I had some

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Speaker 1: depression creeping in I had I was really exhausted, and

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Speaker 1: in that moment, I just said, I'm gonna be with

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Speaker 1: myself today. I'm not going to get mad at myself

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Speaker 1: for feeling down. I'm not going to be in judgment

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Speaker 1: of myself for feeling not as on as I normally am. Instead,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, oh, my body is natural alarm system.

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Speaker 1: Let is letting me know that I need to focus

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Speaker 1: on myself, that I need to have some rest. And

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Speaker 1: so that is being equipped knowing when to turn off,

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Speaker 1: knowing when to surrender. Um. So on days like that,

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Speaker 1: it's just so powerful to listen to your own soul,

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Speaker 1: to listen to your body and let it tell you

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Speaker 1: what it needs and stop trying to program it with

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Speaker 1: other things that you're seeing in the world or that

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Speaker 1: you're seeing on Instagram, or not to be comparative with

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Speaker 1: your journey. You know, part of the human experience is

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Speaker 1: we are constantly in this evan flow. You know, we

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Speaker 1: are constantly navigating and moving and just surrendering to that

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Speaker 1: flow and knowing that on the days that don't feel

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Speaker 1: as nourishing and don't feel as good, you're still enough,

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Speaker 1: You're still worthy, you still have the ability to change

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Speaker 1: directions at any moment, you have choice. What what do

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Speaker 1: you think you know, when we talk about mental health awareness,

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Speaker 1: M what do you think people should be aware of, Like, like,

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Speaker 1: if it's just a person that's just tuning into this,

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Speaker 1: you know they want to do the work on themselves,

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Speaker 1: but they haven't started. Where does the journey begin. I

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Speaker 1: think the journey really begins and simply identifying that you

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Speaker 1: want to feel something else. I don't want to put

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Speaker 1: it in the hierarchy of like, you want to feel better, right,

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Speaker 1: because that's everyone has their different level of that whatever

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Speaker 1: that is. And sometimes our perception of better or more

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Speaker 1: is based on the limitation of how we know ourselves

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Speaker 1: right now. So I think, um, when you just make

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Speaker 1: the conscious choice that you want to feel something different,

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Speaker 1: that is the beginning of it. Intention setting cannot be um,

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Speaker 1: I think. I think sometimes it's undervalued. I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: people see the idea of intention setting as you've already

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Speaker 1: reached a certain level of enlightenment and now it's about manifesting,

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Speaker 1: and so, oh, my intention is I want to have this,

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Speaker 1: I want to be this. And sometimes intention setting is

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Speaker 1: just saying I don't have the answer, but I know

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Speaker 1: I want to make another choice. Please please, Universe, God, people,

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Speaker 1: tangible people in my life, please support me in this.

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Speaker 1: And knowing that you not knowing the answer yet is

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Speaker 1: what the journey is. You know a lot of times

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Speaker 1: I think too, even when it comes with the acceptance

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Speaker 1: of self even when it comes with the way that

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Speaker 1: we experience our mental health. We walk into even our

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Speaker 1: healing with such a judgment of why don't I already

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Speaker 1: know of this? Why why don't I already have the tools?

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Speaker 1: And that judgment is what limits our healing. That judgment

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Speaker 1: is what limits our ability to even seek out the help,

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Speaker 1: because we're trying to wrap ourselves in a certain package

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Speaker 1: before we're even delivering to the doorstep of the person

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Speaker 1: that will help us. We are allowed to come as

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Speaker 1: we are in that moment. We are enough, We are

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Speaker 1: enough all the time, but giving ourselves permission to not

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Speaker 1: be perfect, to not be the experts. And I think

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Speaker 1: you know, part of the way the human brain works

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Speaker 1: in general is that we really prize predictive behavior, ever

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Speaker 1: since the cave man age when we had to stay alive,

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Speaker 1: and we look at everything that we envision for ourselves

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Speaker 1: and we think we have to have the vertical or

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Speaker 1: the trajectory of how to do that. Well, if you've

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Speaker 1: never done it, how could you? How would you? It

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Speaker 1: hasn't been done by you yet, And that's okay, and

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Speaker 1: that's what the journey is. And so I think the

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Speaker 1: use of it that I would really speak to that.

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Speaker 1: I hope anyone watching this takes away is the importance

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Speaker 1: of curiosity. When we begin to look at our lives

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Speaker 1: with curiosity instead of judgment, we create our freedom. So

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Speaker 1: even on the days that we feel sad, I work

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Speaker 1: in well being, but I also have been in this

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Speaker 1: global pandemic. I have struggled with depression for the past year,

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Speaker 1: as so many people. But in the moments that I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling my perceived lowest, I'm really looking at myself and saying, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what are your needs? How can you show up for

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Speaker 1: yourself right now? And if you can't show up for yourself,

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Speaker 1: that's okay, but how can you find someone or something

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Speaker 1: to aid you? But our freedom is in our curiosity.

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Speaker 1: As soon as we begin to see ourselves as these

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Speaker 1: divine co creators that can be active participants in our lives,

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Speaker 1: that don't have to know all the answers, that can

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Speaker 1: just begin to answer ask questions. We we take the

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Speaker 1: limitations of our life, we take the limitations off of

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Speaker 1: our mental health, off of our soul nourishment, and there's

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Speaker 1: just opportunity in front of us. Not having the answers

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Speaker 1: is what causes panic attacks. Dev I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: And what helps with that is making peace with the

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Speaker 1: fact that you were never designed to have the answers

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Speaker 1: who told you you had to have them, m who

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Speaker 1: told you that you had to know everything, who told

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Speaker 1: you that you had to fix quote unquote fix yourself

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Speaker 1: because of brokenness, or that something was wrong with you

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Speaker 1: because you didn't learn within your family system ways to

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Speaker 1: regulate your emotions. We have to start even our curiosity.

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Speaker 1: We have to start looking at the way we've answered

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Speaker 1: questions for ourselves. Curiosity isn't asking a question and then

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Speaker 1: shooting in with an answer. Curiosity is asking the question

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Speaker 1: and allowing life to inform that answer. Mhm. You know

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Speaker 1: I hit you last week. I sent you a text

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Speaker 1: because you know, I just had a conversation and we

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Speaker 1: have Jan Levan John on the show and I was saying,

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Speaker 1: how like well she said, she asked me, and am

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Speaker 1: I doing growth work? Healing work? And you know, I

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Speaker 1: get triggered easily, right like all like, And it's like

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Speaker 1: when you get triggered, it feels like all the work

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Speaker 1: you've done is just out the window, right because it

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Speaker 1: feels like you're right back to where you started, right,

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Speaker 1: So what do you think you think you think that

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Speaker 1: they go hand in hand. Can you be doing one

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Speaker 1: without the other? Like is their growth work? Is their

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Speaker 1: healing work with what's the difference? Yeah, And they absolutely

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Speaker 1: go hand in hand, but they are different things because

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Speaker 1: you know, human beings, by design, we can learn anything,

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Speaker 1: we can regurgitate anything, we can pare it anything. And

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Speaker 1: so what you would kind of call the way that

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Speaker 1: I'm interpreting what you're sharing, what we would call like

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Speaker 1: that stage in which we are m m that stage

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Speaker 1: and with we're when we're focused more on growth mindset

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Speaker 1: that is more of the cognitive or intellectualization phase. To

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Speaker 1: actually change our lives and the way that we feel

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Speaker 1: about ourselves, we have to take what we've learned in

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Speaker 1: our minds and bring it down to our hearts and

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Speaker 1: be with ourselves in process. And so you know, as

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Speaker 1: you shared, you know, like having triggers from not knowing

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Speaker 1: certain answers or having triggers of things that maybe we

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Speaker 1: have been previously working on. Even reframing that lens, it

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Speaker 1: takes us to a place that's so much deeper than growth,

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Speaker 1: and it really becomes that space of transformation and transcendence.

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Speaker 1: And so what that would kind of look like, is

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Speaker 1: next time you feel triggered about something, just surrendering to

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Speaker 1: knowing you have a right to feel triggered and that

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Speaker 1: you have been on learning that. But now there's an

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Speaker 1: opportunity to deep in it, you know. There there are

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Speaker 1: certain things within my own story that I've been working

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Speaker 1: on for ten years, you know. And I remember at

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Speaker 1: one point I had a few years ago, I had this.

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Speaker 1: I ended up like collapsed in tears, and I was

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Speaker 1: just like, I thought, I already healed this. Why am

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Speaker 1: I Why do I Why am I crying about this?

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Speaker 1: You know? And someone I was speaking to at the time,

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Speaker 1: they said, yeah, but you healed so much of it,

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Speaker 1: and that's why you've arrived at this moment an opportunity

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Speaker 1: to go even deeper, you know. And so if we

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Speaker 1: stop looking at the growth of our spirits and the

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Speaker 1: nourishment of our mental health through the lens of society

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Speaker 1: and accomplishment, that's really what the problem is. We're looking

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Speaker 1: at our growth and our healing through the societal construct

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Speaker 1: of what it is to be successful, what it is

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Speaker 1: to be accomplished, and we reframe it around our own

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Speaker 1: personal needs. Freedom is there, you know, And so next time,

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Speaker 1: maybe something that was triggering for you, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe someone's been walking through healing betrayals or healing something

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Speaker 1: that happened within their family system, and next time you

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Speaker 1: get triggered just saying, oh, there's still something there, and

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Speaker 1: I'm stending it love, and I'm working on it and

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to look at it. But also, wow, I've

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Speaker 1: come so far. I remember when this moment I couldn't

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Speaker 1: even speak it out loud. Now I'm letting myself cry,

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Speaker 1: you know. And it's within this mental health conversation, within

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Speaker 1: like the conversation of well being, it's really about how

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Speaker 1: can we take away judgment for self, cut out those

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Speaker 1: other voices, and then how can we also meet ourselves

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Speaker 1: with compassion and tenderness when we need it? You know something,

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Speaker 1: you and we talk about me and you talk about

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Speaker 1: this stuff all the time, like we're always always always

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Speaker 1: on the phone talking. But you know, we talked about

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Speaker 1: with a joke like hugging trees, right, but even learning

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Speaker 1: to hug yourself and already though there's probably a few

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Speaker 1: people rolling their eyes in the chat, and that's cool,

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Speaker 1: but hugging, touching, loving yourself, you know, being able to

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Speaker 1: rest your hand on your heart for a minute, take

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Speaker 1: a breath, close your eyes. You know, how often are

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Speaker 1: we really with ourselves? How often are we really even

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Speaker 1: giving a compassionate hand to us. You can touch yourself,

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Speaker 1: you can focus on your breath, You can close your

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Speaker 1: eyes and get quiet and still and create this galaxy

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Speaker 1: inside of your being, this this place that's just for you.

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Speaker 1: You know. Reframing how we show up for ourselves is

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Speaker 1: so powerful. Maybe it's not taking yourself on the shopping trip.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's not going to the spa. Maybe it's just

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Speaker 1: being willing to look your own self in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and stare yourself in the eyes for a few minutes

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Speaker 1: and not look away. You know. Maybe it's just I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna hole my own body and hold my own shoulders

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Speaker 1: on a day that I'm not feeling full salute Saluta Shanty.

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Speaker 1: Does I see Andrew Martinez in here? S my man?

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Speaker 1: D Nice. Know what you're saying is so true, because

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Speaker 1: I think that we look at healing as something that

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Speaker 1: it's like a video game, right, like you got to

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Speaker 1: complete a level. But my therapist was like that's she

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Speaker 1: she was like, that's not the way to look at

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Speaker 1: it because it's a constant process. Right, because of what

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Speaker 1: you just said, those things might you might get retriggered,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, you know you gotta you gotta go back

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Speaker 1: within yourself again. Yeah, And we can't be scared of

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Speaker 1: the triggers, like we have to take away the fear

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Speaker 1: of what resides inside of us. That is the biggest

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Speaker 1: piece of it. We all have our stories, and I

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Speaker 1: think you know, for some people, sometimes those stories they

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Speaker 1: didn't they didn't ask for our consent to live inside

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Speaker 1: of us. Right. There are some things that some of

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Speaker 1: us are walking through that feel so shameful, so full

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Speaker 1: of guilt, so full of humiliation, pain, um or things

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Speaker 1: that we didn't ask for in such deep ways that

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Speaker 1: it makes us every time we get triggered, it makes

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Speaker 1: us ashamed of ourselves. And instead it's like, can you

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Speaker 1: be willing to treat your trigger, to treat your inner

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Speaker 1: child and your younger self with the same love and

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Speaker 1: compassion that you'd offer any other human being or any

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Speaker 1: child on the street. Talk to her, to yourself like

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Speaker 1: a three year old on my on my hardest day,

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Speaker 1: I talked to myself exact way I talked to my

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Speaker 1: three year old son you know, and I give myself.

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Speaker 1: I gift myself that love that sometimes I felt I

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Speaker 1: didn't receive. You can give yourself that love, you know.

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Speaker 1: But we have to we have to step out of

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Speaker 1: the fear when you're triggered. It's nothing to be ashamed about.

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Speaker 1: You experienced trauma, and you have come so far and

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Speaker 1: your healing and the healing that you lend to every

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Speaker 1: human being you encounter. And now I'm speaking directly to you,

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Speaker 1: shar because you are one of the most loving, loyal

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Speaker 1: human beings I have ever met in my whole life.

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Speaker 1: Like thinking of you and our friendship will bring me

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Speaker 1: to tears on any day you're gonna make me cry.

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Speaker 1: I want you to let those let those delicious tears fall,

431
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 1: catch up drink later. I was gonna I was gonna

432
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: ask you to give us an example, because I've seen

433
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: you talk to uh, my little man, So give me

434
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: an example of how you talk to yourself. Okay, well,

435
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 1: I'll tell you so. Every night I have a really expansive,

436
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 1: specific affirmation session that I deal with my son that

437
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: we've been doing since he was a newborn. And I

438
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: have found that on some of my days I repeat

439
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: the exact same things that I say to him, and

440
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 1: I say them to myself. So what I would do

441
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: is like close my eyes and I'm gonna share. I'm

442
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: gonna share with everyone. He you're in the way that

443
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,959
Speaker 1: I do it for my son. His name is Quest

444
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 1: and so you know, closing your eyes, hand over hard

445
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:12,239
Speaker 1: and just saying, um, I always say this to him.

446
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna just go with it. But Mommy loves you,

447
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 1: Daddy loves you, God loves you, and you love you.

448
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: You are filled with joy and enthusiasm for yourself, for

449
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: your life. You are safe, you are protected, you are

450
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 1: provided for, You are covered in God's grace. You are

451
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: perfectly designed. And then I'll usually say you are loved

452
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: and lovable, You're valued, and you are valuable. You are

453
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 1: cherished and helped by the people in your life. You

454
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 1: have an expanse of open heart, you are so funny,

455
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: you are so and then I'll you know, I'll go

456
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 1: into different things, but that is the core of it.

457
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: And so I send that to him. And a big

458
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 1: breakthrough for me was if I see him and understand

459
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: him as worthy enough of this, then everything about me

460
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 1: is worthy of that as well. Even if I didn't

461
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: hear it in that way. I can still give that

462
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: to myself. So it's even this idea of the lack

463
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: of what we perceived that we didn't receive from other people,

464
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: other places, other experiences. We think we're just now expected

465
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: to live a life devoid of all of that. We're

466
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 1: in reality, we are always in control and have choice

467
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 1: and gifting that to us me doing that with myself

468
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: for five minutes cost me nothing. No one sees me.

469
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: I can be as tender, as silly as anything that

470
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: I want to be, but it changes the structure of

471
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: my day and how I feel about myself. Wow. Listen

472
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: for everybody who's just joining us. My name is Charlomi Nard.

473
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: I'm talking to Debbie Brown. Debbie is a wellness expert.

474
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: She's an author, and somebody just asked, when you're putting

475
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: out a book. She actually actually has a book out

476
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: right now called Crystal Crystal Bliss. I do, and I

477
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 1: should be working on my next one right You are

478
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: working working on her next one. And she's the host

479
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: of a podcast, Dropping Champs with Debbie Brown. It's on

480
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: the Black Effect. I Heart Radio podcast Networks, So you

481
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: can subscribe to that hold that thought, we are coming

482
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: right back, and I bought in another member of that right,

483
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: another member my sole tribe, Dr Alfie, Dr Alfie bree

484
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: Land Noble. She is a pioneering psychologist, scientist, and author,

485
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: and she is the chief mental Wellness officer for my foundation,

486
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: the Mental Wealth Alliance. Say how y'all doing? Can y'all

487
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: hear me? Absolutely? Okay, it's such a joy to be here.

488
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: I came in right when Debbie was speaking praise and

489
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: beauty over her son, and I was just like, oh

490
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: my God. Like so, I just was thinking about how

491
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: much when you share those words, DEVI, how we're all

492
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: reflections of each other, and when you reflect that to

493
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: your son, it gets reflected back to you. Um, when

494
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: you and share are having this beautiful conversation, you're just

495
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: reflecting so much light to each other. And it almost

496
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: makes me want to cry, because I think, giving your

497
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: platforms and where you sit in the world, that both

498
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: of you are as kind as you are, you don't

499
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: have to be that right, and so that just to

500
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: me speaks to this idea of what it means to

501
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: be in the constant process of healing. So I don't

502
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: want to interrupt the flow of the conversation, but that healing,

503
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: I just receive it right, and you know, fu full disclosure.

504
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: I do talk about being an anxious person. It runs

505
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: in my family as well. I'm although the person who's

506
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: the most anxious will never admit it because he's a

507
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: veteran and like they don't do that. UM. But just

508
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: knowing that there are people in the world who can

509
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: sit in this space and be like the two of

510
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: you and just for let that goodness in that light,

511
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: it really is heartwarming and it's just it means so much.

512
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: I know for so many people, So I speak for

513
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: all the rest of us commoners out here. It's wonderful

514
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: for you all this that you are who you are

515
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: and you do what you do. We appreciate you well.

516
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: I gotta I got a couple of questions where you

517
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: doctor ALPHAITEUM sustainable Underscore. NOLES wants to know how do

518
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: we address the psychological pandemic we've inherited through the pandemic

519
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: in communities of color. One is we have to acknowledge

520
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: that this is the space that we're in. So it's

521
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: like it sounds basic, but I think sometimes what we

522
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: do we get so used to moving and going. I'm

523
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: listening to and reflecting on something I heard Debby say

524
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 1: about how we live our lives, and I think what

525
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: we don't do is we don't stop and recognize what

526
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: we've been through. We don't stop and recognize what we're

527
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: going through in the moment. And I think when we

528
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: do that, when we keep trying to move, uh, we

529
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: we rob ourselves of the opportunity to be present. And

530
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 1: I feel like this this thing. I heard it from

531
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: Oprah a long time ago. If you don't learn the

532
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: lesson the first time that it comes, the lesson is

533
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: gonna keep coming back. And the analogy that I remember

534
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: was she said, I think she said, it starts like

535
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: a pebble, right, but when it comes back, every time

536
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: it comes back, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger

537
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: and bigger, until at the end it's like a boulder

538
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: if you don't get the lesson. And so one of

539
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: the things that I've learned as a black woman and

540
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: a woman of color during this pandemic is that you know,

541
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 1: I have these mantras that I use and I say,

542
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: in every moment, I am liberated to choose. I am

543
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: liberated to choose my own healing. I am liberated to

544
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: acknowledge all the things that I'm seeing around me with

545
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: racial injustice. I am liberated to choose disparities and the

546
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: recognition of the spirity that that's the real thing that

547
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily do anything to contribute to. And if

548
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,479
Speaker 1: I can recognize that, and I can start unpacking it

549
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: and working on my healing. But if I just keep going,

550
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: I can't work on my healing. So my job, my

551
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: responsibility to the ancestors seriously and to me into the future,

552
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: always be cognizant of I have a duty to work

553
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: on my healing. M No, I'm gonna tell you why,

554
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: because when you're talking about the devoted thing, how you

555
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: don't learn the lesson? Yeah, it keeps coming back? Is

556
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: that the same thing is when you're you're keeping keep

557
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: getting triggered by the same thing sort of. I think so,

558
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: I think, and I can see Debbie wants to add

559
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: to that too. I think the triggers. I think we

560
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: have to be patient with ourselves because healing is not linear, right,

561
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: So it's not like I heard Debbie say, you heal

562
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: it and it's fixed. I think the triggers are there,

563
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: like that's your your body's like I heard her say,

564
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: the alarm system, that's true, that's your body's way of

565
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: telling you. This is something that makes me feel unsafe,

566
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: and I just feel like we have to respect that.

567
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: So when it the lesson keeps coming back, I think

568
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: what I'm really speaking to is this idea of we

569
00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:00,120
Speaker 1: keep doing the same things, not paying attention to and

570
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: being cognizant of what we want to do differently to

571
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: get a different outcome. Right. So, for example, if one

572
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: of the things I'm afraid of speaking up for myself, right,

573
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: I can remember this from being a from them, will

574
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: tell all the business about what it needs to be

575
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: in academia, right and let people know because it ain't

576
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: it ain't not nice. But if I started out in

577
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: academia and I didn't speak my mind when I know

578
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: I needed to, then what's gonna keep happening is these

579
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: opportunities that are gonna keep showing up for me to

580
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,439
Speaker 1: speak my mind because the universe to that these point

581
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 1: is waiting for me to open my mouth and use

582
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 1: my words. Right, It want it wants me to heal

583
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: in that way. So I for me, the triggers are

584
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: really I see them as opportunities. They don't feel like

585
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: it in the moment, but I really do see them

586
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: as opportunities. It's just your reminder this thing is not healed,

587
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: So this is your opportunity to try something different. What

588
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: tools do you have has your therapist giving you. Let's

589
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: try one of those new tools. Last time, I use

590
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: the hammer. This time, let's use the screwdriver. So that's

591
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 1: how I tend to tend to look at those triggers.

592
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: I would love to add shar like one thousand percent

593
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: in alignment and agreeance with that. You know, it's it's

594
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: it's really in the reframe, right, So like what dr

595
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: Ator was speaking to with really those patterns repeating, it's

596
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: I like to call that catching God's fade because I

597
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: feel like God used to coumb to me and whispers

598
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, yeah, maybe alright God, Like I'm

599
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: gonna keep doing my thing, and the next thing, I know,

600
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: like I'm getting this like divine punch in the face

601
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: and like I'm being forced to transform. Um. So I

602
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: learned that I would no longer like to catch God's spades.

603
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 1: So I have fine tuned my ear um to listen

604
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: to the tiny whispers, right, and sometimes those whispers come

605
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: to us with just a thought that crosses our mind,

606
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 1: or we're at a stoplight and something is revealed. It's

607
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: when we don't act on it. And so anytime we're

608
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: not acting on what we know to be for our

609
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: highest good or to be the deepest way that we

610
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: can heal, um, we're we're betraying ourselves. So now we're

611
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: creating all these extra moments of self betrayal that then

612
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: begin to affect the way that we feel about ourselves

613
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: because we're perceiving ourselves as always letting ourselves down. Now,

614
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,240
Speaker 1: triggers are I believe to be a powerful alarm system.

615
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 1: But triggers are different because there it's not that the

616
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: lesson is repeating, but your coping mechanism is repeating. And

617
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: so like the trigger is that internal experience where you

618
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: it's just letting you know what's going on. We don't

619
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: get to see that part of it, and it can

620
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: be so you know, the triggers are triggers can be playful.

621
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 1: It's about how we're experiencing them, and it's again taking

622
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 1: away you judging yourself, speaking out to what is real

623
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 1: in the world. Right, is this me and how I

624
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: feel about me? Or is this structural racism? Is this

625
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 1: all the ancestral trauma that everyone has carried for hundreds

626
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: and hundreds of years for a lot of women, Is

627
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: this the patriarchal trauma that we've been carrying since antiquity? Right?

628
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 1: And so when we ask questions that are more rooted

629
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: in rational thoughts, sometimes that can help um. And when

630
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,479
Speaker 1: we're in the midst of being triggered by something, being

631
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: able to just be with it. You don't have to

632
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: do anything with it. Sometimes you can just observe it,

633
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: you know. I like to be a little more. I

634
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: like to I like to seduce my pain. So I

635
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: like to be very flirty with my triggers and my

636
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 1: pain and be like, oh, oh she upset today, what's

637
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: going on? Baby? Like? I get playful with it because

638
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: the triggers are going to come. But how we experience

639
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: them is how we choose to experience them. So even

640
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 1: reframing oh, something's coming up, Okay, I need to spend

641
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: time with this later, I need to heal, I need

642
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: to focus on this later, you know, and just really

643
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 1: tapping in something something else would like to come out.

644
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: Let me give it freedom, yeah, or coping with it

645
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: in the moment, maybe I need to stop right so

646
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: I agree. Sometimes it's i'llgree with them, but sometimes it's

647
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: I need that let me stop right now, right, depending

648
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: on I think the sides of it is. I think

649
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 1: it is there like a speed bud, like slow down

650
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: all you roll, like deal with this now. Sometimes it's

651
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: not always, but I do think sometimes absolutely, And I

652
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: think that's the emotional regulation of really trusting that you

653
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: know what you can give yourself. So in some situations

654
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: it's like, you know what, in this exact moment, I'm

655
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 1: gonna choose something else, Or if maybe you're in the

656
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: midst of like work or with your child and like

657
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: I can't fall apart in tears right now, but I'm

658
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: gonna promise myself that tonight, I'm gonna give myself a

659
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 1: little ceremony. I'm gonna let myself cry for as long

660
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 1: as my body needs to, and I'm gonna get a

661
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: nice meal. You know I've done that where I'm like, well,

662
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: I need to cry. So I drew myself a nice bath,

663
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: I ordered my favorite take out, and I was like,

664
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: you're gonna cry tonight, girl, Come on now, I got

665
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: a couple more questions before we get out of here,

666
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 1: because you know, I don't want to take up everybody,

667
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: take up too much of everybody's time. But you know,

668
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: recently I've had people come to me and they said,

669
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 1: we talked so much about what it is we need

670
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 1: to do as far as our mental health, but what

671
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: about family members who are dealing with people who have

672
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 1: like severe mental health issues? Are are even I don't

673
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: want to say there's no some thing as a minor

674
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: mental health issue, but things less severe than schizophrenia, bipolar,

675
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 1: things like that. What do what do? What do the

676
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:24,479
Speaker 1: family members need to do? That's a so I talked

677
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: about that. I had this whole series I did on

678
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: I G t V because what I found when I

679
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 1: was practicing close to the full time is that I

680
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 1: think as family members, we get caught up in this idea.

681
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: I know it's not everybody. We get caught up in

682
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: this idea. We have to save people, and we have

683
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: to save the people in our lives. And one of

684
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 1: the one of the first things I always tell family members,

685
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: especially when we will all be sitting together, is the

686
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: first thing we're gonna do is gonna take that savior

687
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: complex and take it out of the room. Right. So,

688
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 1: for people who are spiritual, who are most of my patients,

689
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: because there are people of color, generally, I say, you

690
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 1: are not God, nor do you want that responsibility. And

691
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: so it is not up to you to fix that

692
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 1: loved one in your life. It is up to you

693
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: to love that loved one in your life. And let's

694
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: start talking about what can you do to care for

695
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 1: them in this moment. The first thing you can do

696
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: is care for yourself. And so I know sometimes people

697
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: feel like that sounds reductive. I said, but you can't

698
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 1: take care of anybody else if you're not taking care

699
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 1: of so you know, you hear people say you can't

700
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: pour from an empty cup right when you fly, you

701
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: know when people used to fly. Some of y'all still do.

702
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: Fly whose mask goes on first yours? Because if your

703
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: mask is not on, you can't breathe. If you can't breathe,

704
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 1: you can't function, and you can't help the people you love.

705
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: So I always tell people to come back to this

706
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: place of it's not your job to fix other people.

707
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 1: It's not your job to save other people, and you

708
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 1: have to start with taking care of you then once

709
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: you do that, this is me I think you have

710
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 1: to make an assessment of what is it that that

711
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: person is seeking from you, that loved one who's experiencing right,

712
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: Maybe they have significant anxiety, maybe they have debilitating anxiety.

713
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: Maybe they do have a psychotic disorder and they're experiencing

714
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: schizophrenia or or something similar. Maybe they do have severe depression. Again,

715
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: it is do we take the time to ask people

716
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: what they need from us instead of making assumptions about

717
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: what people needed from us. So I can remember this

718
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: one time, a long time ago, my spouse and I

719
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: were having a conversation and you know, he was upset.

720
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: Now he wasn't depressed in that moment, but he was upset,

721
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: and so I was like, well, let's go do this.

722
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 1: Let's go do this, let's go and find He was like, Alfie,

723
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: I don't want any of that. And you know I

724
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 1: was in my familys I was like, wait, which menu

725
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: I want none to day. You're supposed to want this

726
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: because I'm trying to help out. But what the reality

727
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,359
Speaker 1: was that was me, That was my need to do

728
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 1: something for him. It wasn't for him, it was for me.

729
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 1: And so I think coming back to that place of

730
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: recognizing I want to love this person for who they

731
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 1: are in this moment, and I need to start by

732
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 1: asking them what they need. And if they are in

733
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: a place where they tell me what they need, then

734
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: we have a place where we can start. But we

735
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: can't start from I need to fix that. I need

736
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 1: to do this that in the third because I don't

737
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: know what they need. So I think some of it

738
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: is just coming back place of you're not here to

739
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: fix everybody. Stop trying to fix people. You've got to

740
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 1: deal with you first, and then ask them for what

741
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,720
Speaker 1: they need. I don't know, Dabbie, if you have anything

742
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 1: you wanted to add, you know, I think what I'd

743
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: like to add to this might just speak to a

744
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: portion of the population watching this, but it might be beneficial,

745
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 1: you know. I think when we think about this savior

746
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: complex that we take on, I think for some people,

747
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 1: and this was my personal story, I realized that anything

748
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 1: can be used as a tool of self avoidance, including

749
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: doing things for other people. And so that was revolutionary

750
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: for me because so much of my identity was always

751
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: steeped in how strong I was, how much I was

752
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,320
Speaker 1: showing up for other people, being the fixer in people's lives,

753
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 1: who people came to for advice. Oh, do this, do this,

754
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 1: you know, but when you do that on an ego level,

755
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 1: it feels really good, even especially when it's for family members.

756
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 1: But there is that's also a trauma response. And that's

757
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: also you know, that savior complex, that that path of righteousness,

758
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: um that doing doing doing also even some you know,

759
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 1: different systems. They can be used as powerful tools of

760
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,919
Speaker 1: avoidance and you can spend your entire life doing them

761
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: and feeling really great about yourself or looking great to

762
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,479
Speaker 1: other people. But you didn't get any of the work

763
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 1: accomplished here that you were supposed to do for you.

764
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: And so it's like that, if you are not connected

765
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: to your wholeness, what you do for other people is

766
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,880
Speaker 1: a performance. So who do we want to be? Right? Who?

767
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: Who do we want to be? I want to be

768
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: healed and whole. When I'm whole and healed or in

769
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: pursuit of hot pursuit of self, then me being myself

770
00:43:54,760 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 1: effortlessly extends that permission, that grace, that instructional ability to

771
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: anybody that gazes upon me. Right. Wow, this is my

772
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: final question for both of y'all, because you know, you know,

773
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 1: y'all are just two people that I enjoy talking to

774
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: so much. But what why is it important to have

775
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 1: somebody to talk to? Because this is one to one,

776
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: So what why is it important to have somebody to

777
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: talk to? I think there are lots of reasons. One

778
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 1: of the reasons is, I mean, it's kind of on

779
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 1: a basic level, we don't know everything right, and so

780
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: we want to be in a place where we are

781
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: able to, going back to the very beginning, reflect another

782
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 1: person's light. We want to be able to reflect, like

783
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 1: to say, for instance, Debbie working towards wholeness. I want

784
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: to be in the presence of people who are working

785
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: towards that wholeness because that gives me something to aspire to, right,

786
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,760
Speaker 1: It makes me feel a sense of community. I'm always

787
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: talking about bipocket, marginalized communities, black folks and people of color,

788
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,959
Speaker 1: queen here, LGBT, LGBT folks, people with disabilities. I feel

789
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: like all of us so often go through the world

790
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: feeling so isolated um in our workplaces, sometimes in our homes,

791
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 1: in our neighborhoods, and you know, having that other person too,

792
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: I don't know, like ride or die to go along

793
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 1: with you. I think about my girlfriends with the PRR crew.

794
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 1: Some of them are here, they know who they are,

795
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 1: like they reflect different aspects of who I am, and so,

796
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 1: you know, I think for me, it's really about finding

797
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: a sense of community, finding peace in seeing other people

798
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 1: who look like me, who reflect me, when there's so

799
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: much in the world that tells me who I am.

800
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 1: Being a chocolate girl right with natural hair and having

801
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: the brain that I have having come through some of

802
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: the experiences that I've come through, there's so many ways

803
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 1: in which at those parts of me are always told

804
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 1: you're not enough, sit down, get back with your turn.

805
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 1: And I think having other people to talk to helps

806
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: me undo a lot of that. Right, They helped me

807
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 1: unlearn some of those negative of lessons. I see. One

808
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends just shouted out, I go there, Cindy um.

809
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 1: And so for me, it's really about helping us know

810
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: that we're never on this journey alone. And I do

811
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: say I think, you know, for those folks who are spiritual,

812
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: God gives you those friends to like just help to

813
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: help you on your journey. You're not meant to be

814
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: on this journey by yourself. Right If I hadn't met you,

815
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: shar if I hadn't met Debbie, Like there's a there

816
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,399
Speaker 1: are parts of my life that wouldn't be reflected as

817
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: brightly and as positive as they are now that I've

818
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 1: met you, and then you've given me an opportunity to

819
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 1: be on here with you today. So for me, it's

820
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: just about not going through life alone. Nobody should go

821
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:38,879
Speaker 1: through life alone. Yeah, so deeply in agreeance with that.

822
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 1: Before I answer that, Um, just because I know we're

823
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 1: at the end, I want to say this out loud.

824
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 1: Dr Often you are a queen and I love you.

825
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: I stand your work, and I love just being in

826
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 1: this moment with you. Thank you devy Um. You know,

827
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: I think human connection that's what we came here for, right,

828
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 1: That's what this Earth experience is about. And I think

829
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: we are meant to be powerful mirrors from one another. Um.

830
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: I think it is important that we each recognize that

831
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: we are the start of our own lives and we

832
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: should have top billing in our life. But I think

833
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: we came here to aid each other in a multitude

834
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: of ways, which even means in the challenging relationships that

835
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: we have, there is purpose to that. There's something that

836
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: needs to be known to us, even in that challenging relationship,

837
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: and we have to deepen in our curiosity to find it,

838
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: you know. And I think when it comes to some

839
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 1: of our best friends that were blessed with which and

840
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: it might make me cry, but like Charlotte, I love

841
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 1: you so much, like you're one of my more best

842
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: friends in life, and it's an honor. It's just an

843
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: honor to have our friendship. I'm so grateful for the

844
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: relationship we have. You know, when it comes to people

845
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 1: like us, I couldn't even imagine living without you, you know,

846
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: like we don't have those people that can really see

847
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: us with clear eyes. Um. Sometimes this human experience is

848
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 1: so hard, and we get we get a really distorted

849
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: view of who we are if we aren't careful right, Like,

850
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 1: life can really come in and program us in a

851
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: way that doesn't serve us. But when we are blessed

852
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 1: with some of these substantial, deep, beautiful relationships, we can

853
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: always return home, you know, we can always see ourselves,

854
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 1: um in the way that the people love us most

855
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: see us. And also they can offer such great insight

856
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 1: that we may not have grasp of. So I think

857
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: we we need the solo experience and to be on

858
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 1: our journey, but we also deeply need the shared human experience.

859
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: You know. That's how that those paradigm shifts happen, because

860
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,320
Speaker 1: of conversations like this that then go on to change

861
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: the world, you know, and raise collective consciousness. So all

862
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: parts are necessary, all parts of purpose. Debi Brown, Dr Alp,

863
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: I love you, both value, both appreciate you. Both tell

864
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 1: them where to find y'all go ahead heavy. Um, I

865
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: might be Pinfelow, I don't know, but at Debbie Brown,

866
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: just my name d v I Brown. Um, the Lincoln

867
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: Bio will take you everywhere. I have a podcast, like

868
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 1: a website, have a bunch of different stuff, um that

869
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 1: I feel really grateful to do. So Lincoln Bio at

870
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 1: Debbie Brown dot com or at Dee Brown Instagram. So

871
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: it's uh www dot dr Alfie dot com. It looks

872
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: like Drawfie my son's kids. That's what they call me.

873
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: They call me Droffy, Liam and Luke and all y'all kids.

874
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 1: Um uh and um dr Alfie Drowfee Uh is my

875
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: handles everywhere on Twitter, on Instagram, so on and so forth.

876
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: And then I also want to shout out because I

877
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: know Sho's not gonna do it. The Mental Wealth Alliance

878
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 1: all one word, Um, you gotta go there and check

879
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: that out, and then me A Common Project is a

880
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: young youth and young adult nonprofit. I'm sorry. And then

881
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: I have to say to both of you, I just

882
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 1: wish you so much love and light and I'm sending

883
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 1: you so much love and I do love both of you.

884
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 1: You all are just and double people. And I'm just

885
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 1: so grateful to Kenneth Cole and the Mental Health Coalition.

886
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 1: You all do. You have no idea what you've done

887
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: for me just in this forty five minutes, honestly all

888
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: our blessing. So thank you so much. Luting my guy

889
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:14,320
Speaker 1: ken of lout to the Mental Health Coalition, saluting the

890
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 1: coal I think Queen the Coach shouting on here too.

891
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: So hello Nicole, and thank you all very much. And

892
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and I hope that everybody you know

893
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: learn something from this live. I hope this live for

894
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 1: something into you today. All right, Thank you both, queens.

895
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, love you, love you, thank you. All right.

896
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: That was my conversation, the one to one with Charlemagne

897
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: the God. I also have the video of that up

898
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: on my Instagram page at Debbie Brown if you want

899
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: to check it out. That was such a wonderful conversation. Um,

900
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm recording the podcast right now and I'm doing a

901
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 1: little construction in my backyard, so you guys might hear

902
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: a little extra noise for a moment. Apologies, doing the

903
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: best stack can can't help that extra little background um

904
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: sounds that you might hear. But yeah, So that was

905
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: our one to one conversation on the Mental Health Coalition

906
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:14,360
Speaker 1: Instagram Live that we did, powered by Kenneth Cole. And

907
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: huge shout out to my brother, to my sole family,

908
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 1: to my tribe, my lifelong friend Charlemagne. I love you,

909
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you. And huge shout out

910
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 1: to the incredible Dr Alphie for all the powerful work

911
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: that she does in the world and all the beautiful

912
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: wisdom and insight that she shared. So you guys, thank

913
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,760
Speaker 1: you for joining the show. Um, if you get a chance,

914
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 1: please go ahead and subscribe, share this with a friend,

915
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: anyone that you think could glean some information from, and

916
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: don't ever think it just pop it up in your

917
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 1: podcast and texted to a couple of people. Um, and

918
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 1: if you have the bandwidth. I would definitely be grateful

919
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 1: if you took a moment usually takes about less than

920
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 1: sixty seconds uh two within iTunes, Go ahead and leave

921
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 1: a rainy and write a review. Super appreciative. Love you,

922
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 1: Catch you next week. God bless hey. Find me on

923
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 1: social let's connect at deVie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,

924
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: or go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And

925
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: if you're listening to the show on Apple podcasts, please

926
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 1: please please don't forget to rate, review and subscribe and

927
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: send this episode to a friend. Dropping Jams is the

928
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and Black Effect Network. It's

929
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 1: produced by Triple and Me Debbie Brown. For more podcasts

930
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,

931
00:52:39,040 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.