1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: Well, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Who knows it 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: could be yours. Buckle up, hold on tight, We got 8 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letters subject 9 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: his ex wife won't let me visit him here Stephen Shirley, 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I've been dating for about five months 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: and he's the best man I've ever been with, and 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: he treats me really good. There's a situation that I'm 13 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: dealing with and my man doesn't understand why it's bothering me. 14 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: When we first met, he had just gotten a divorce. 15 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: I mean it was literally finalized the day before I 16 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: met him. Because it was a quick divorce, he was 17 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: still living in the house he shared with his wife. 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: He said they didn't put the house in the divorce 19 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: settlement because it was his wife's house in her name. 20 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: I thought within months of getting a divorce he'd move out. 21 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 1: We even went to look at apartments and rental houses together. 22 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: Then he informed me that he decided to stay in 23 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: the house with his ex wife because she agreed to 24 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: let him rent his man cave area of the house. 25 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: He said. The room is on the second floor and 26 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: it's got a bathroom attached to it and a wet 27 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,839 Speaker 1: bar section with a tiny fridge in it. He said 28 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: he's got access to a bedroom upstairs too, because his 29 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: wife doesn't go upstairs at all. I asked him about 30 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: the common areas they have to share, and he assured 31 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 1: me that he had it all worked out. This has 32 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: put a strain on our relationship because he has to 33 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: stay at my house all of the time since I'm 34 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: not allowed to visit him or even step foot on 35 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: this woman's property. I popped over there last week to 36 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: see what would happen, and his ex wife met me 37 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: at the door and said, if I don't like her rules, 38 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: then I should let him move in with me. I 39 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: left and called and cursed him out. He doesn't understand 40 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: how crazy this is. I'm getting the vibe that he's 41 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: a sorry but mane it right, that's what she said. 42 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: What is really going on here? Please help you know what, 43 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: I don't like this situation at all for you, because 44 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: this arrangement is just really stupid. I mean, what are 45 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: you getting out of this? You're you're getting nothing but 46 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: stress and misery and unhappiness. This so called best guy 47 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: that you've ever had is living with his ex wife 48 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: and paying her rent to live there. As much time 49 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: as you say he spends at your place, Why don't 50 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: you charge him rent? You should be charging him rent. 51 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: Maybe that will help him to understand that it's time 52 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: to get out of his wife's house and move on 53 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: with you in his life. That means getting his own place. 54 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: You said, you guys looked at places, what happened. That 55 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: means getting his own place where you're invited, where you 56 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 1: can go over there and hang out and spend the night, 57 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: things like that that couples do. It makes absolutely no 58 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: sense for him to still be staying there unless unless he's, 59 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: you know, having trouble letting go. He might be. Remember 60 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: you said, he treats you really well, so he should 61 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: have moved out when his wife spoke to you so 62 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: rudely when you popped up over there, his story behind 63 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: did nothing. Okay, he's not right for you. I mean, 64 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: he can barely take care of himself at this point, 65 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: so you need to do for yourself when he can't 66 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: do for himself. And let's move on. It's only been 67 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: five months. You'll be all right. You'll be all right, Steve. Wow, 68 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: this letter, God, I don't believe it written all over it. Yeah, 69 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: I do not understand why this woman is writing this 70 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: letter because it don't make no sense. How much time 71 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: I got to deal with this before we go to break? 72 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: All right? So here it does. Now, you first met 73 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: this man, best man you ever had, but you never 74 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: treat you really good. We first met he had just 75 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: gotten divorced. I literally finalized the day before I met him. Danger. Danger, 76 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: We don't open some danger, Jess got out. Now, I 77 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: know marriages are over long before the data is finalized, 78 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: so they've probably been going through this. But you did 79 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,119 Speaker 1: say it was a quick divorce. So he was still 80 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: living in the house that he shared with his wife, 81 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: and they didn't put the house in the divorce settlement 82 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: because it was his wife's house in her name. Well, 83 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: you can't put it in the divorce settlement because of 84 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: what he did. Dak brought about the quick divorce. You 85 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: never mentioned that. And now you ain't getting this house. 86 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: You got to get out this my damn house. So 87 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 1: now that's why that didn't get put in the divorce settlement. 88 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 1: I thought after months, I thought, within months of getting 89 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: a divorce, he'd move out. Y'all went to look at 90 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: apartments and rental houses together. He wasn't serious. He was 91 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: just you know, you know, appeasing you. Then he informed 92 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: me that he decided to stay in the house with 93 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: his ex wife because she agreed to let him rent 94 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: his man cave area of the house. He saying, the 95 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: room is on the second floor, and it's got a 96 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: bathroom attached to it, a wet bar section with a 97 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: tiny fridge in it. Listen to me, You mean to 98 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: tell me that a man gets divorced and his option 99 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: is to stay in the house with the wife that 100 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: you've divorced because you got a man cave in it 101 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: with a access to a bathroom and a tiny fridge. 102 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: Now later on and say, and the bedroom is he's 103 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: accessible is on another floor. What girl, A man cave 104 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: can't mean nothing much to you if you ain't the 105 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: king no more. See, a man cave is only good 106 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,239 Speaker 1: is if you the King, and you got a man cave. 107 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: But if you ain't the king no more. You ain't 108 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: got a man cave. You a renter. A matter of fact, 109 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: you just a B and B. I don't even see 110 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 1: how you he ain't got nothing. When we come back, 111 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna break your heart. I'm gonna break you'll, all right, Steve, 112 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: hang on, we'll have part two of your responses coming 113 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: man cave, got a little boy, got a tidy fridge, 114 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: a little bitty fridge coming up. Steve's response Part two 115 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes after the hour Strawberry Letters. Subject 116 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: for today his ex wife won't let me visit him. 117 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening, 118 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on, let's 119 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,919 Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter. The subject his ex wife won't 120 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 1: let me visit him. This man got a divorce. You 121 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: met him right after he got the divorce, y'all, the 122 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: best man you ever met, you save. It was a 123 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: quick divorce, so they didn't put the house into the 124 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: divorce settlement because it was his wife's house and then 125 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: her name, So you thought within months of getting the divorce, 126 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: he moved out, y'all went apartment looking and everything that 127 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: was just to appease you. Then he informs you that 128 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 1: he decided to stay in the house with his ex 129 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: wife cause she agreed. She agreed to let him written 130 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: his man cave area of the house. Now, he said, 131 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: the room is on the second floor. It's got a 132 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: bathroom attached to it. Which anything that's got a bathroom 133 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: attached to it on the second floor is not a 134 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: full band. It's a half bad sink. Tarlet. I want 135 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: you to understand this now. They don't put showers and 136 00:07:55,880 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: stuff on little areas that don't have beds, not in 137 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: regular houses. They don't. I'm just telling you. He set 138 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: the rooms on the second floor. It's got bathroom attached 139 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: to it and a wet bar section, so that means 140 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: as a sink or sink over there with a tiny 141 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: refrigerator in it. He got access to a bedroom, but 142 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: the bedroom is upstairs because his wife doesn't go upstairs 143 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:34,839 Speaker 1: at all. What in her house she don't go upstairs 144 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: at all? So you asked him about the common areas 145 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: that they have to share, and he assumed me, assured 146 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: me that he has had it all worked out so 147 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: now he don't even have an area of his own. 148 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: He got common areas with his ex wife. This has 149 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 1: put a strain on your relationship because he's had to 150 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 1: stay at my house all of the time since I'm 151 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: not allowed to visit him or step foot on this 152 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: woman's property. Now, guess what this crazy woman does. I 153 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: popped up over that last week to see what would happen, 154 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: and his ex wife met me at the door and saying, 155 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,959 Speaker 1: if I don't like her rules, then you should then 156 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: I should let him move in with me. First of all, 157 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: you should have never done that. And what you think 158 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: the woman was gonna say, oh, hey, nice to meet you, 159 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: come on here in her house that's in her name. 160 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: That he hadn't already He hadn't told him, She hadn't 161 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 1: told him. He ain't the king no more. This ain't 162 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: a man cave. This a room. I'm gonna give you 163 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: access to a bed room that's upstairs, and you're gonna 164 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: pay me money. And then told you if you don't 165 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 1: like the rules, in order to let him move with me, 166 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: I left called and cuts him out? What you cuts 167 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: him out for? He told you ass couldn't come over there. 168 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: He said don't come over here. This half for crazy. 169 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: This her house, she making all the rules. He doesn't 170 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: understand how crazy this is. I'm getting the vibe that 171 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: he's a sorry ass man, you think, because I'm gonna 172 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: tell you what's really going on? She say, what's really 173 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,839 Speaker 1: going on? Please help? All right? First of all, I'm 174 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: gonna tell you what's really going on. Number one, he 175 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: ain't got no money, because any man that gets a 176 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: divorce is not gonna live in a subservient position like 177 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: this with all these rules. He can't have a company, right, Yeah, 178 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: you can't date, and you don't bought your ass over 179 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: there to just see what would happen, and you don't. 180 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: You don't. Damn it got cussed out. So now let's 181 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: go over what this man has. One a tiny fridge, 182 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:52,719 Speaker 1: access to a bedroom which is his. He just got 183 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: access to it. He has a bath that's probably a 184 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: half bath. They have to share common areas, and if 185 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: she and there, she could tell him it ain't common. 186 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: Right now, your ass back in your man cave, just 187 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: your space is the man cave. Next one, it's her house, 188 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: it's in her name. Here's the next one. She makes 189 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: all the rules. Here's the next one. She told you 190 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: if he don't like it, he can move in with you. 191 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: Listen to me, A man cave can't mean that much 192 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: when you ain't king, and he then gave up all 193 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: rights as king. See what makes you have a man 194 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: cave is when you king of the castle and your 195 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: wife gives you a space that she don't a lie. 196 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: The kids come in, nothing that's yours. You can do 197 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: it like you want to because you're the husband. That's 198 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: your area. Baby, do it like you want to. Y'all 199 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: want to watch the game video or whatever you want 200 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: to do, if that's your rule. He don't have that normal. 201 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: You know why because now he written that. So you 202 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: see he has nothing and he ain't got no money, 203 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: because why would I rent this space that I can't 204 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: even have company in when I could take my money 205 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: and get me an apartment. But he can't go get 206 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 1: the apartment with you because he ain't got this money, right, 207 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 1: because he lost it in the divorce. She ain't just 208 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: take the house. She got the savings because whatever he 209 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: did to get put out, he got to pay for it. 210 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: You get the feeling here, sorry, ass man, she do too. 211 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: That's why he got the damn man came and he 212 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: paid rent in it and he got access to it commentary, 213 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: and he can't have no company like he's sixteen, all right, Steve, 214 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey 215 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: FM on Instagram, and a teenager check out the Strawberry 216 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six minutes 217 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: after Sports Tea to ask him if y'all still go together. 218 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning 219 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:23,559 Speaker 1: Show