Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, and today's topic is
Speaker 1: these words can Set You Free. So this episode is
Speaker 1: based off of why I started a show called I've
Speaker 1: never said this before, and I haven't really talked about
Speaker 1: this before, but I think this is something very applicable
Speaker 1: to all of us really. So at the core of
Speaker 1: this concept is we all have things that we bury deep.
Speaker 1: I know you listening or thinking of some of those
Speaker 1: things right now, right But why do we do that?
Speaker 1: Why do we bury things so deeply? Maybe something's too
Speaker 1: painful to relive, or maybe we feel like people might
Speaker 1: look at us differently once we share the things that
Speaker 1: we tucked away. I've asked myself, will i feel embarrassed
Speaker 1: or will I feel like I'm coming across as a
Speaker 1: victim when other people are going through things that I
Speaker 1: perceive as so much worse? And the truth is, we
Speaker 1: all feel naked and exposed sometimes when those things are
Speaker 1: brought to the forefront, when something is brought to the
Speaker 1: forefront that we don't want brought to the forefront, Or
Speaker 1: worst of all, if we share that thing that we
Speaker 1: tucked away, will we feel judged? So admittedly, all of
Speaker 1: these thoughts have gone through my mind at various times
Speaker 1: in my life when I wanted to share my secret
Speaker 1: or something tucked away with somebody close to me. And
Speaker 1: I know I'm not alone. I know you listening have
Speaker 1: been there or felt this at the same time. So
Speaker 1: a quick aside. A lot of people who know me
Speaker 1: best say I'm a little intuitive, maybe even a little psychic.
Speaker 1: I know you're probably like, oh God, please this guy,
Speaker 1: trust me. I feel you. I'm the same way. And
Speaker 1: while I absolutely believe there are some people out there
Speaker 1: who have extraordinary abilities, I never considered myself one of them,
Speaker 1: and I don't. But the truth really is that as
Speaker 1: much as I roll my eyes and tease my family
Speaker 1: and friends who say that, I do think there's something
Speaker 1: in me that allows me to connect with people on
Speaker 1: a deeply intuitive, almost spiritual kind of level the moment
Speaker 1: we meet. I've always had a sense of empathy always,
Speaker 1: and I can often tell what someone's thinking or feeling
Speaker 1: before they ever say a word. Actually, once a friend
Speaker 1: of mine sat down for a meal after not seeing
Speaker 1: each other for about a year or so, and I
Speaker 1: blurted out, you're pregnant, and it's just kind of like
Speaker 1: a left my body. I didn't even mean to say that,
Speaker 1: and her jaw dropped. She was literally just days pregnant,
Speaker 1: like she just took the test. She wasn't someone trying
Speaker 1: to get pregnant. She already has two kids. Happened a
Speaker 1: little later in life, So it's not even like this
Speaker 1: was something that was in the realm of possibilities, because
Speaker 1: it wasn't something ever we discussed, and I just felt it.
Speaker 1: And I can't explain how I knew that. I just
Speaker 1: felt some sort of energy from her. So sometimes I guess, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do have that intuition, and even I have this
Speaker 1: strange ability to sense what a complete stranger is about
Speaker 1: to say before they say it. So okay, maybe my
Speaker 1: friends and family were onto something. But never has this
Speaker 1: been more evident to me than when I started interviewing celebrities.
Speaker 1: And while you see red carpets, you know, and the
Speaker 1: stars walking on them, you might think they look lamorous.
Speaker 1: The truth is the are some of the most anxiety
Speaker 1: inducing environments for everyone. As a reporter, you have like
Speaker 1: two minutes on a carpet. If you're lucky to capture
Speaker 1: something that's compelling, memorable, headline making that can go viral.
Speaker 1: I mean every question matters, every every single second matters,
Speaker 1: which is so overwhelming. And then on the flip side,
Speaker 1: ass the celebrity, you have those same two or three
Speaker 1: minutes to come across as polished, intelligent, gracious, engaging. Right,
Speaker 1: these press towards are everywhere now, so you have to
Speaker 1: be prepared for anything that comes your way, answering questions
Speaker 1: that shows off who you are, but also lets you
Speaker 1: avoid any sort of SoundBite that can be controversial or
Speaker 1: could get you canceled. It is a high pressure, high
Speaker 1: pressure dance for everybody involved. We're all just trying to
Speaker 1: get it right now. I've always treated people like human
Speaker 1: beings on the carpet because guess what they are. They
Speaker 1: are human beings. So my interview, my style has never
Speaker 1: been about trying to get you or catched one off
Speaker 1: guard to get that viral gotcha moment. No, that's trash,
Speaker 1: and anyone that does that, like, shame on you. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: be trying to get people. My work is about celebrating
Speaker 1: their work and creating enough trust for a more personal
Speaker 1: side of them to emerge the side that people don't
Speaker 1: often get to see. Now. The challenge is that's incredibly
Speaker 1: difficult to do on a ray carpet when you only
Speaker 1: have a few minutes. Publicists are trying to whisk their
Speaker 1: clients away before they're even finished answering your question because
Speaker 1: they're running behind. You're surrounded by camera creuse, photographers, other reporters, bodyguards,
Speaker 1: security producers, staff, screaming fans, all competing for the attention
Speaker 1: of who you're talking to. Oh, and the temperature never
Speaker 1: quite right. Either it's either stifling hot or it somehow
Speaker 1: feels colder than the inside of a glacier. So there's
Speaker 1: a lot to navigate, and you have to have a
Speaker 1: completely different set of questions ready for every person walking
Speaker 1: towards you. So your brain's going one hundred miles an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not as glamorous as one might think. I love it,
Speaker 1: but it's not totally glamorous. But you know, through all
Speaker 1: of this chaos, I would see a look in the
Speaker 1: eyes of so many people I was interviewing, and it
Speaker 1: was this a look that I can only describe as
Speaker 1: it made me feel like they were secretly saying I'm
Speaker 1: tired of answering the same question for the hundredth time today.
Speaker 1: It's this look that made them feel like they were
Speaker 1: longing to be anywhere but on that carpet where they
Speaker 1: pretty much feel like a piece of art on display,
Speaker 1: a look that made it seem like there was more
Speaker 1: beneath the surface, and deep down I knew that more
Speaker 1: was exactly why I started my show. I've never said
Speaker 1: this before. Okay, so maybe this is where I do
Speaker 1: sound a little witchy. But I can't tell you how
Speaker 1: many red carpets I've walked away feeling like there was
Speaker 1: an entirely different conversation waiting to happen. Well, that couldn't
Speaker 1: happen because there wasn't enough time. Because on a red carpet,
Speaker 1: it's like you're a bunch of robots on autopilot doing
Speaker 1: what we need to do to get through a very
Speaker 1: unnatural situation. So I decided to do the opposite. I
Speaker 1: decided to create a space where people could slow down,
Speaker 1: let their guard down, and simply be human again. So
Speaker 1: I've never said this before. Is a safe place where
Speaker 1: people can share things that they haven't said before, that
Speaker 1: they can share words that can set them free. And
Speaker 1: I've had people come on the show and share everything
Speaker 1: from you, a prominent actress who's in her thirties who
Speaker 1: hasn't found her partner yet revealed for the first time
Speaker 1: she got her eggs frozen because she wants to be
Speaker 1: a mom and doesn't know if she's going to do
Speaker 1: that with a partner or not, but wants the option
Speaker 1: and wants the opportunity to have children, and she's never
Speaker 1: shared that before, and she wants to normalize getting your
Speaker 1: eggs frozen as a single woman. I've had men come
Speaker 1: on sharing they've had eating disorders, and men don't talk
Speaker 1: about that ever, right, it's a wild thing. And then
Speaker 1: the burden that feels lifted after they've said that. I've
Speaker 1: had men come on talking about mental health issues and
Speaker 1: struggles to the point where they were almost not here anymore,
Speaker 1: and they wanted to share that so that people can
Speaker 1: remember to lean on their brothers and have men in
Speaker 1: their lives to uplift them and make them feel seen
Speaker 1: and valued and like they should be here on this planet.
Speaker 1: I've had people come out and share their sexuality. I mean,
Speaker 1: the list goes on and on, And the point is,
Speaker 1: you don't have to come on my show and share
Speaker 1: something that personal. It's whatever you want to share, but
Speaker 1: it just should be something that makes you feel like
Speaker 1: you're putting goodness into the world, or a bit lighter
Speaker 1: or a bit freer. And I think that's what I'm
Speaker 1: really proud of, and I want to push all of
Speaker 1: us to continue to do in our everyday life, is
Speaker 1: say things that we haven't really said before for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: whatever the fear may be right, because words really can
Speaker 1: set you free, and you can feel less burdened by
Speaker 1: all of that you truly, truly can. I think that
Speaker 1: my hope for this Tommy talk today and for sharing
Speaker 1: this today, is that no matter how successful someone may seem,
Speaker 1: we all experience defining moments that shape who we become.
Speaker 1: You know, we all hurt, We hopefully all heal. We
Speaker 1: all carried outs and worries and fears and stories that
Speaker 1: we've never really spoken out loud. I certainly have. I
Speaker 1: certainly have. But I've also always believed that through honest
Speaker 1: and open conversations, we really do have that power to
Speaker 1: make each other feel a little less alone in an
Speaker 1: increasingly complicated world. And I don't know, maybe this is corny,
Speaker 1: but sometimes just knowing that someone you admire has walked
Speaker 1: a path similar to yours can be life changing and
Speaker 1: even life saving at times. So through you sharing something
Speaker 1: that you've never said before, it can help a neighbor,
Speaker 1: a friend, a family member, a colleague, anyone. As I'm
Speaker 1: sure hearing things people have shared on their end has
Speaker 1: sparked in ah in you or an awakening in you.
Speaker 1: And that's what I love, is that it all kind
Speaker 1: of goes towards the better good of humanity, where we
Speaker 1: can help each other. We can help each other. How
Speaker 1: beautiful is that, I don't know. I think it's beautiful,
Speaker 1: I really do. And at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: through saying things that we've never said before, through saying
Speaker 1: words that can set us free, I think it's a
Speaker 1: form of self love. I do, because we're loving ourselves
Speaker 1: enough to give us a chance to release any sort
Speaker 1: of burden or fear or trauma even that has stayed
Speaker 1: with us for so long. And I truly believe that
Speaker 1: self love, that act of self love, it opens a
Speaker 1: door to a happier life and friendships and romantic relationships
Speaker 1: in our careers, and our mental health and wellness journeys.
Speaker 1: Even I mean, whatever you may be grappling with right now,
Speaker 1: or not even grappling with, but whatever maybe makes you
Speaker 1: feel on wordthy or unattractive or unlovable or undeserving. Fuck that,
Speaker 1: Remove the un the un from your vocabulary. Remove it
Speaker 1: right because your perspective just might begin to shift a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's silly, it's a silly start, I know,
Speaker 1: remove the UN. I'm not a guru, but it's just
Speaker 1: it's so simple. But we all have to start somewhere,
Speaker 1: silly or not. And I think that something I've had
Speaker 1: to learn to do is give myself grace for the
Speaker 1: journey I've been on. I beat myself up for many
Speaker 1: years for not coming to terms with things that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to say out loud. Don't do that. Don't
Speaker 1: do that, Please don't, because here's the thing. I'm actually
Speaker 1: grateful I went through those experiences because they've given me
Speaker 1: a deeper appreciation for the person I've become. They remind
Speaker 1: me now to never take for granted the very things
Speaker 1: that make me who I am. And I have something
Speaker 1: that I've never said before that I will share with
Speaker 1: you in a future episode. Not today, because that's a
Speaker 1: whole other episode. But there is something I haven't said before.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of things haven't said before,
Speaker 1: but one of them is pretty powerful and it's kind
Speaker 1: of scary to say it in such a public way,
Speaker 1: but I will and hold me to it, hold me
Speaker 1: to it. So that's to come. But this is just
Speaker 1: meant to start start generating your thoughts on something that
Speaker 1: you want to release. And it can feel terrifying to
Speaker 1: say something out loud that you've never said before, but
Speaker 1: it can also feel like you're returning this this missing
Speaker 1: puzzle piece to your soul, because once you say it,
Speaker 1: you're kind of taking your power back. You're pushing back
Speaker 1: against that sneaky little bitch called fear. She's such a bitch.
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to sit here and tell you
Speaker 1: fear is all bad because it's not. It's motivating me
Speaker 1: throughout my life and fueled me to prove wrong the
Speaker 1: things that was whispering in my ear. But there comes
Speaker 1: a point where fear has served its purpose and it's
Speaker 1: time to cut her loose so you can sort. So
Speaker 1: there's a lot of goodness in saying something you've never
Speaker 1: said before, because the words can set you free. And
Speaker 1: that's why I love the concepts of the show and
Speaker 1: bringing people on and letting them have that moment. And
Speaker 1: I hope for them it's special and they remember it forever.
Speaker 1: And I hope it encourages you to say something that
Speaker 1: can set you free, because we all deserve to feel
Speaker 1: a little lighter going through this journey of life. And
Speaker 1: I think the bottom line is we all have things
Speaker 1: that we do keep in and keep tucked away, and
Speaker 1: the minute we can say them out loud, or face them,
Speaker 1: or even say them to one person, that's all it means.
Speaker 1: It means just saying it like it just saying it
Speaker 1: to yourself, or saying it to a person, like putting
Speaker 1: it out there, admitting it. It just creates a much
Speaker 1: much more free future for yourself. And that's what I
Speaker 1: want for everybody, because we all deserve that. There's one
Speaker 1: life to live. It's a short life. Let's make it
Speaker 1: the most. Let's not hold onto things. So I am
Speaker 1: proud of you if you're thinking about sharing something you've
Speaker 1: never said before, and I hope that you truly do
Speaker 1: feel a little better in your journey of life and
Speaker 1: a little lighter because we all deserve it. I've never
Speaker 1: said this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Jadario. This
Speaker 1: podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and
Speaker 1: by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never
Speaker 1: Said this Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast
Speaker 1: Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe
Speaker 1: to our show and if you liked this episode, tell
Speaker 1: your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.