WEBVTT - Tommy Talk: WHY YOUR TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk, and today's topic is

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<v Speaker 1>these words can Set You Free. So this episode is

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<v Speaker 1>based off of why I started a show called I've

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<v Speaker 1>never said this before, and I haven't really talked about

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<v Speaker 1>this before, but I think this is something very applicable

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<v Speaker 1>to all of us really. So at the core of

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<v Speaker 1>this concept is we all have things that we bury deep.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you listening or thinking of some of those

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<v Speaker 1>things right now, right But why do we do that?

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<v Speaker 1>Why do we bury things so deeply? Maybe something's too

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<v Speaker 1>painful to relive, or maybe we feel like people might

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<v Speaker 1>look at us differently once we share the things that

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<v Speaker 1>we tucked away. I've asked myself, will i feel embarrassed

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<v Speaker 1>or will I feel like I'm coming across as a

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<v Speaker 1>victim when other people are going through things that I

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<v Speaker 1>perceive as so much worse? And the truth is, we

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<v Speaker 1>all feel naked and exposed sometimes when those things are

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<v Speaker 1>brought to the forefront, when something is brought to the

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<v Speaker 1>forefront that we don't want brought to the forefront, Or

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<v Speaker 1>worst of all, if we share that thing that we

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<v Speaker 1>tucked away, will we feel judged? So admittedly, all of

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<v Speaker 1>these thoughts have gone through my mind at various times

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<v Speaker 1>in my life when I wanted to share my secret

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<v Speaker 1>or something tucked away with somebody close to me. And

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<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not alone. I know you listening have

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<v Speaker 1>been there or felt this at the same time. So

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<v Speaker 1>a quick aside. A lot of people who know me

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<v Speaker 1>best say I'm a little intuitive, maybe even a little psychic.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you're probably like, oh God, please this guy,

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<v Speaker 1>trust me. I feel you. I'm the same way. And

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<v Speaker 1>while I absolutely believe there are some people out there

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<v Speaker 1>who have extraordinary abilities, I never considered myself one of them,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't. But the truth really is that as

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<v Speaker 1>much as I roll my eyes and tease my family

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<v Speaker 1>and friends who say that, I do think there's something

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<v Speaker 1>in me that allows me to connect with people on

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<v Speaker 1>a deeply intuitive, almost spiritual kind of level the moment

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<v Speaker 1>we meet. I've always had a sense of empathy always,

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<v Speaker 1>and I can often tell what someone's thinking or feeling

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<v Speaker 1>before they ever say a word. Actually, once a friend

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<v Speaker 1>of mine sat down for a meal after not seeing

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<v Speaker 1>each other for about a year or so, and I

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<v Speaker 1>blurted out, you're pregnant, and it's just kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>a left my body. I didn't even mean to say that,

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<v Speaker 1>and her jaw dropped. She was literally just days pregnant,

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<v Speaker 1>like she just took the test. She wasn't someone trying

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<v Speaker 1>to get pregnant. She already has two kids. Happened a

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<v Speaker 1>little later in life, So it's not even like this

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<v Speaker 1>was something that was in the realm of possibilities, because

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't something ever we discussed, and I just felt it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I can't explain how I knew that. I just

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<v Speaker 1>felt some sort of energy from her. So sometimes I guess, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I do have that intuition, and even I have this

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<v Speaker 1>strange ability to sense what a complete stranger is about

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<v Speaker 1>to say before they say it. So okay, maybe my

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<v Speaker 1>friends and family were onto something. But never has this

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<v Speaker 1>been more evident to me than when I started interviewing celebrities.

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<v Speaker 1>And while you see red carpets, you know, and the

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<v Speaker 1>stars walking on them, you might think they look lamorous.

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<v Speaker 1>The truth is the are some of the most anxiety

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<v Speaker 1>inducing environments for everyone. As a reporter, you have like

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<v Speaker 1>two minutes on a carpet. If you're lucky to capture

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<v Speaker 1>something that's compelling, memorable, headline making that can go viral.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean every question matters, every every single second matters,

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<v Speaker 1>which is so overwhelming. And then on the flip side,

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<v Speaker 1>ass the celebrity, you have those same two or three

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<v Speaker 1>minutes to come across as polished, intelligent, gracious, engaging. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>these press towards are everywhere now, so you have to

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<v Speaker 1>be prepared for anything that comes your way, answering questions

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<v Speaker 1>that shows off who you are, but also lets you

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<v Speaker 1>avoid any sort of SoundBite that can be controversial or

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<v Speaker 1>could get you canceled. It is a high pressure, high

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<v Speaker 1>pressure dance for everybody involved. We're all just trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get it right now. I've always treated people like human

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<v Speaker 1>beings on the carpet because guess what they are. They

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<v Speaker 1>are human beings. So my interview, my style has never

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<v Speaker 1>been about trying to get you or catched one off

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<v Speaker 1>guard to get that viral gotcha moment. No, that's trash,

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<v Speaker 1>and anyone that does that, like, shame on you. You shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be trying to get people. My work is about celebrating

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<v Speaker 1>their work and creating enough trust for a more personal

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<v Speaker 1>side of them to emerge the side that people don't

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<v Speaker 1>often get to see. Now. The challenge is that's incredibly

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<v Speaker 1>difficult to do on a ray carpet when you only

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<v Speaker 1>have a few minutes. Publicists are trying to whisk their

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<v Speaker 1>clients away before they're even finished answering your question because

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<v Speaker 1>they're running behind. You're surrounded by camera creuse, photographers, other reporters, bodyguards,

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<v Speaker 1>security producers, staff, screaming fans, all competing for the attention

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<v Speaker 1>of who you're talking to. Oh, and the temperature never

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<v Speaker 1>quite right. Either it's either stifling hot or it somehow

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<v Speaker 1>feels colder than the inside of a glacier. So there's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to navigate, and you have to have a

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<v Speaker 1>completely different set of questions ready for every person walking

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<v Speaker 1>towards you. So your brain's going one hundred miles an hour. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not as glamorous as one might think. I love it,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's not totally glamorous. But you know, through all

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<v Speaker 1>of this chaos, I would see a look in the

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<v Speaker 1>eyes of so many people I was interviewing, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was this a look that I can only describe as

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<v Speaker 1>it made me feel like they were secretly saying I'm

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<v Speaker 1>tired of answering the same question for the hundredth time today.

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<v Speaker 1>It's this look that made them feel like they were

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<v Speaker 1>longing to be anywhere but on that carpet where they

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<v Speaker 1>pretty much feel like a piece of art on display,

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<v Speaker 1>a look that made it seem like there was more

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<v Speaker 1>beneath the surface, and deep down I knew that more

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<v Speaker 1>was exactly why I started my show. I've never said

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<v Speaker 1>this before. Okay, so maybe this is where I do

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<v Speaker 1>sound a little witchy. But I can't tell you how

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<v Speaker 1>many red carpets I've walked away feeling like there was

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<v Speaker 1>an entirely different conversation waiting to happen. Well, that couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>happen because there wasn't enough time. Because on a red carpet,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like you're a bunch of robots on autopilot doing

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<v Speaker 1>what we need to do to get through a very

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<v Speaker 1>unnatural situation. So I decided to do the opposite. I

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<v Speaker 1>decided to create a space where people could slow down,

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<v Speaker 1>let their guard down, and simply be human again. So

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<v Speaker 1>I've never said this before. Is a safe place where

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<v Speaker 1>people can share things that they haven't said before, that

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<v Speaker 1>they can share words that can set them free. And

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<v Speaker 1>I've had people come on the show and share everything

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<v Speaker 1>from you, a prominent actress who's in her thirties who

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't found her partner yet revealed for the first time

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<v Speaker 1>she got her eggs frozen because she wants to be

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<v Speaker 1>a mom and doesn't know if she's going to do

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<v Speaker 1>that with a partner or not, but wants the option

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<v Speaker 1>and wants the opportunity to have children, and she's never

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<v Speaker 1>shared that before, and she wants to normalize getting your

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<v Speaker 1>eggs frozen as a single woman. I've had men come

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<v Speaker 1>on sharing they've had eating disorders, and men don't talk

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<v Speaker 1>about that ever, right, it's a wild thing. And then

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<v Speaker 1>the burden that feels lifted after they've said that. I've

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<v Speaker 1>had men come on talking about mental health issues and

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<v Speaker 1>struggles to the point where they were almost not here anymore,

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<v Speaker 1>and they wanted to share that so that people can

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<v Speaker 1>remember to lean on their brothers and have men in

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<v Speaker 1>their lives to uplift them and make them feel seen

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<v Speaker 1>and valued and like they should be here on this planet.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had people come out and share their sexuality. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>the list goes on and on, And the point is,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have to come on my show and share

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<v Speaker 1>something that personal. It's whatever you want to share, but

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<v Speaker 1>it just should be something that makes you feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you're putting goodness into the world, or a bit lighter

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<v Speaker 1>or a bit freer. And I think that's what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>really proud of, and I want to push all of

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<v Speaker 1>us to continue to do in our everyday life, is

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<v Speaker 1>say things that we haven't really said before for whatever reason,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the fear may be right, because words really can

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<v Speaker 1>set you free, and you can feel less burdened by

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<v Speaker 1>all of that you truly, truly can. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>my hope for this Tommy talk today and for sharing

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<v Speaker 1>this today, is that no matter how successful someone may seem,

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<v Speaker 1>we all experience defining moments that shape who we become.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we all hurt, We hopefully all heal. We

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<v Speaker 1>all carried outs and worries and fears and stories that

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<v Speaker 1>we've never really spoken out loud. I certainly have. I

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<v Speaker 1>certainly have. But I've also always believed that through honest

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<v Speaker 1>and open conversations, we really do have that power to

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<v Speaker 1>make each other feel a little less alone in an

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<v Speaker 1>increasingly complicated world. And I don't know, maybe this is corny,

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<v Speaker 1>but sometimes just knowing that someone you admire has walked

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<v Speaker 1>a path similar to yours can be life changing and

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<v Speaker 1>even life saving at times. So through you sharing something

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<v Speaker 1>that you've never said before, it can help a neighbor,

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<v Speaker 1>a friend, a family member, a colleague, anyone. As I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure hearing things people have shared on their end has

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<v Speaker 1>sparked in ah in you or an awakening in you.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's what I love, is that it all kind

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<v Speaker 1>of goes towards the better good of humanity, where we

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<v Speaker 1>can help each other. We can help each other. How

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful is that, I don't know. I think it's beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>I really do. And at the end of the day,

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<v Speaker 1>through saying things that we've never said before, through saying

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<v Speaker 1>words that can set us free, I think it's a

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<v Speaker 1>form of self love. I do, because we're loving ourselves

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<v Speaker 1>enough to give us a chance to release any sort

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<v Speaker 1>of burden or fear or trauma even that has stayed

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<v Speaker 1>with us for so long. And I truly believe that

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<v Speaker 1>self love, that act of self love, it opens a

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<v Speaker 1>door to a happier life and friendships and romantic relationships

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<v Speaker 1>in our careers, and our mental health and wellness journeys.

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<v Speaker 1>Even I mean, whatever you may be grappling with right now,

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<v Speaker 1>or not even grappling with, but whatever maybe makes you

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<v Speaker 1>feel on wordthy or unattractive or unlovable or undeserving. Fuck that,

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<v Speaker 1>Remove the un the un from your vocabulary. Remove it

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<v Speaker 1>right because your perspective just might begin to shift a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit. It's silly, it's a silly start, I know,

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<v Speaker 1>remove the UN. I'm not a guru, but it's just

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<v Speaker 1>it's so simple. But we all have to start somewhere,

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<v Speaker 1>silly or not. And I think that something I've had

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<v Speaker 1>to learn to do is give myself grace for the

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<v Speaker 1>journey I've been on. I beat myself up for many

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<v Speaker 1>years for not coming to terms with things that I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't want to say out loud. Don't do that. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>do that, Please don't, because here's the thing. I'm actually

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<v Speaker 1>grateful I went through those experiences because they've given me

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<v Speaker 1>a deeper appreciation for the person I've become. They remind

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<v Speaker 1>me now to never take for granted the very things

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<v Speaker 1>that make me who I am. And I have something

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<v Speaker 1>that I've never said before that I will share with

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<v Speaker 1>you in a future episode. Not today, because that's a

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<v Speaker 1>whole other episode. But there is something I haven't said before.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's a lot of things haven't said before,

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<v Speaker 1>but one of them is pretty powerful and it's kind

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<v Speaker 1>of scary to say it in such a public way,

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<v Speaker 1>but I will and hold me to it, hold me

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<v Speaker 1>to it. So that's to come. But this is just

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<v Speaker 1>meant to start start generating your thoughts on something that

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<v Speaker 1>you want to release. And it can feel terrifying to

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<v Speaker 1>say something out loud that you've never said before, but

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<v Speaker 1>it can also feel like you're returning this this missing

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<v Speaker 1>puzzle piece to your soul, because once you say it,

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<v Speaker 1>you're kind of taking your power back. You're pushing back

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<v Speaker 1>against that sneaky little bitch called fear. She's such a bitch.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm not going to sit here and tell you

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<v Speaker 1>fear is all bad because it's not. It's motivating me

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<v Speaker 1>throughout my life and fueled me to prove wrong the

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<v Speaker 1>things that was whispering in my ear. But there comes

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<v Speaker 1>a point where fear has served its purpose and it's

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<v Speaker 1>time to cut her loose so you can sort. So

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of goodness in saying something you've never

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<v Speaker 1>said before, because the words can set you free. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's why I love the concepts of the show and

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<v Speaker 1>bringing people on and letting them have that moment. And

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<v Speaker 1>I hope for them it's special and they remember it forever.

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<v Speaker 1>And I hope it encourages you to say something that

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<v Speaker 1>can set you free, because we all deserve to feel

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<v Speaker 1>a little lighter going through this journey of life. And

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<v Speaker 1>I think the bottom line is we all have things

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<v Speaker 1>that we do keep in and keep tucked away, and

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<v Speaker 1>the minute we can say them out loud, or face them,

0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.320
<v Speaker 1>or even say them to one person, that's all it means.

0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.160
<v Speaker 1>It means just saying it like it just saying it

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<v Speaker 1>to yourself, or saying it to a person, like putting

0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:29.520
<v Speaker 1>it out there, admitting it. It just creates a much

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<v Speaker 1>much more free future for yourself. And that's what I

0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.839
<v Speaker 1>want for everybody, because we all deserve that. There's one

0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:37.720
<v Speaker 1>life to live. It's a short life. Let's make it

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<v Speaker 1>the most. Let's not hold onto things. So I am

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<v Speaker 1>proud of you if you're thinking about sharing something you've

0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.240
<v Speaker 1>never said before, and I hope that you truly do

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<v Speaker 1>feel a little better in your journey of life and

0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:56.800
<v Speaker 1>a little lighter because we all deserve it. I've never

0:11:56.840 --> 0:12:00.720
<v Speaker 1>said this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Jadario. This

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:05.080
<v Speaker 1>podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio and

0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 1>by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've Never

0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 1>Said this Before is part of the Elvis Duran podcast

0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:16.760
<v Speaker 1>Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate, review and subscribe

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.480
<v Speaker 1>to our show and if you liked this episode, tell

0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:23.559
<v Speaker 1>your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Diderio.