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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Varry FM and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air Pop Pop, just like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. You never know.

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Speaker 1: It could be yours, could be it could be yours.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Okay,

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Speaker 1: subject where do I fit in with his friends? Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I recently married the man of my dreams,

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Speaker 1: and I love everything about him except his female friends

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Speaker 1: and his ex girl friends. This man is friends with

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Speaker 1: everyone from his past, and before we got married, his

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Speaker 1: house was party central. He slowed it down when we

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Speaker 1: got serious, and he changed his phone number to show

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Speaker 1: me that he was serious about being a one woman man.

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Speaker 1: He still allows an open door policy for his friends,

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Speaker 1: and I can't complain because he's such a great person.

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Speaker 1: The only problem I have is that he's too available

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Speaker 1: for his female friend and they think we're all a

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Speaker 1: big family and I'm their sister. In law. I have

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Speaker 1: politely corrected them for the past three years, and they

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Speaker 1: complain to my husband that I'm too standoffish and brash.

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Speaker 1: So a couple of weekends ago, we had a crap

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Speaker 1: crawfish boil for my husband's birthday, and I worked my

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Speaker 1: behind off to get the food and prepare the house

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Speaker 1: for to kick back. One of my husband's female friends

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Speaker 1: called and asked if she could bring the birthday cake

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Speaker 1: because her mom makes my husband's favorite Italian cream cake.

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Speaker 1: I told her thanks, but no thanks. On the day

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Speaker 1: of the party, not only does she bring the cake,

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Speaker 1: she brought her mom. Her mom pulled me aside and

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Speaker 1: told me that I'm going to run my husband off

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Speaker 1: with my attitude and I need to stop trying to

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Speaker 1: shut his girlfriends out of his life. She said she

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Speaker 1: came in peace, but I was crushed. I wasn't expecting that,

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Speaker 1: and I tried to get through the rest of the festivities.

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Speaker 1: I felt out of place in my own home and

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Speaker 1: told my husband about it after everyone left. He apologized

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Speaker 1: and held me tightly, but then said he can't argue

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Speaker 1: with the old folks wisdom. How can he agree? I

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Speaker 1: feel like the outsider here are my feelings valid. Well, yes,

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Speaker 1: of course your feelings are valid because your valot. You

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Speaker 1: know your feelings are not being valued. I don't think

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Speaker 1: by your husband, who agreed with the woman in front

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Speaker 1: of you. You don't do that. There's no way you

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Speaker 1: should feel like a stranger in your own home because

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Speaker 1: of his friends. But I have to point out that

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Speaker 1: you married him knowing he had all these female friends

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Speaker 1: and all these ex girlfriends, and apparently he was a

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Speaker 1: player or something because he mentioned about being a one

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Speaker 1: woman man when he got with you. I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: thought he would stop being friends with them, but nothing

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Speaker 1: changed when she became his wife. What happened to him

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Speaker 1: being a one woman man? Did that just go out

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Speaker 1: of the window. I mean, you might be his only wife,

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Speaker 1: but he still got all these other females in his life.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the issue. You expected he would change,

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Speaker 1: as so many women do, and he didn't. Well, okay,

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Speaker 1: he did change his phone number, but they found him anyway.

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Speaker 1: It's his behavior hasn't changed. You say, he's a great guy.

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Speaker 1: You can't complain about his open door policy, but you

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Speaker 1: don't want your home to be party central anymore. That

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Speaker 1: was fine for him, back when he was single. The

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Speaker 1: problem is he hasn't made you his wife the priority.

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Speaker 1: If he did, I mean, his friends, you know, wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be allowed to just bring a cake when you asked

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Speaker 1: them not to, you know, or she didn't have to

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Speaker 1: bring the birthday cake you asked them not to just

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Speaker 1: come to the house and enjoy the festivities. Okay, the

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Speaker 1: friend's mom wouldn't be pulling you aside telling you all

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Speaker 1: that stuff, and she wouldn't feel just to fight. But

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Speaker 1: then again, older people are gonna say whatever they want,

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Speaker 1: so we'll give her a path on that. But he

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Speaker 1: should never have agreed with them over you. So you

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Speaker 1: know which one is it gonna be. Either he's gonna

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Speaker 1: put your first to pull away from all these female

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Speaker 1: friends and ex girlfriends, or keep them and face the

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Speaker 1: possibility of losing you. Those are the choices. Your husband

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Speaker 1: can't have it both ways. Steve seem to me like

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Speaker 1: in this letter, you're gonna either have to fit in

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Speaker 1: or you're gonna get in the back of the line

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Speaker 1: where you seem to be anyway. See, how you start

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Speaker 1: is how you finish. All you can say it ain't

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Speaker 1: how you start is how you finish. But if you're

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Speaker 1: gonna start a marriage and a relationship a certain kind

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Speaker 1: of way and it is allowed to exist for a while,

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Speaker 1: how do you change that? You said, I recently married

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Speaker 1: the man of my dreams. Really okay, well, let's let's

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Speaker 1: find out about this dream and I love everything about

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Speaker 1: about him. Accept his female friends and ex girlfriends. You

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Speaker 1: ain't mentioned to do you got a problem with his

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Speaker 1: female friends and his ex girl friends with an s.

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Speaker 1: So let me lead you back to your letter. You said,

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Speaker 1: I love everything about him, and so do they? See

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Speaker 1: you have a community husband. He ain't just your husband.

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Speaker 1: He's a communal husband. He's he's he just too damn friendly.

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Speaker 1: He missed happy go lucky. Well, see, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to go somewhere else and be lucky, because it ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna be up in the hell. You didn't marry the

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Speaker 1: man of your dreams, who is mister happy go lucky

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Speaker 1: make everybody feel good and you if he can, Which

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Speaker 1: is the wrong approach in the marriage. Clearly you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to leave all others and cleave only on to her,

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Speaker 1: that's it. But now everybody see her. He turned to

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Speaker 1: take into account too many people, and this just ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna work. Sister, you didn't put your age in here.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how y'all ain't got no kids, but man,

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Speaker 1: it's just too much. When we come back, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: let Sister Odale, oh walk you through this letter with Shirley,

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Speaker 1: and Sister Odale will answer the questions that Shirley presents

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Speaker 1: or walk her through this letter. All right, we'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of Steve's reaction, of Steve's response and the

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Speaker 1: reenactment coming up with twenty three minutes after the hour

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter? Subject where do I fit in with

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Speaker 1: his friends? We'll get into it right after this. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. Reenact today's strawberry letter. We have a

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Speaker 1: special guest to do that. Uh. The subject is where

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Speaker 1: do I fit in with his friends? Our special guests

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Speaker 1: his family members Sister Odell to help her out. Lord, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know it is the first time. First of all mornies.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's hi, y'all. You know, I haven't been here so long.

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Speaker 1: You know, my feelings was sort of hurt because y'all

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Speaker 1: don't ask me back no more. But I just figured,

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Speaker 1: you know, you got yourself up at it, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you know Steve included, you know, he

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Speaker 1: went off. Now he don't, he don't just remember nobody now,

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Speaker 1: But you know it's okay, you know, that's just hope

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Speaker 1: that one stays on the ad. Oh all of them,

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Speaker 1: ain't you know. I'm just said calling it the way

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Speaker 1: it is. Shit Anyway, I'm here to help this help

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Speaker 1: with this letter because she's in him and got some

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Speaker 1: things that she don't seem to understand. Shouldn't it here

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Speaker 1: to marry this man with all these help us hanging

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Speaker 1: on health vons, hanging on that's it. Well, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: the halling in on health less, hanging on health less

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Speaker 1: hro uh no lotch gold. So now what is it

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Speaker 1: you need to know? She reley sweetehih she only been

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Speaker 1: a while. Well, hello, sister Hotel, welcome beautiful brutal for

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Speaker 1: how the Mexican man that you married. What's his name?

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Speaker 1: A black man? His name is Ernesto. Thank you, Lenny

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Speaker 1: sound you know anyway? Well, thank you for asking. He's

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Speaker 1: doing well, thank you, sister Odell. Okay, Well, this woman

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Speaker 1: wrote in she she she said she married the man

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Speaker 1: of her dream She loves everything about He's the man

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Speaker 1: of a lot of people's dreams. Yeah, but he has

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Speaker 1: all these female friends and these ex girlfriends. Um, how

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Speaker 1: many times has Steve hold y'all that y'all can't have

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Speaker 1: all these opposite sex friends and it don't cause a

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Speaker 1: problem in your relationship? He's saying it over and over. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: too many times to count the throw too many times

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Speaker 1: to count, um, she says. And what is wrong with him?

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Speaker 1: She wants to know. He's friends with everyone from his

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Speaker 1: past before they got married, but with girl friends, and

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Speaker 1: she said, in a lot of ex girlfriends with an

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Speaker 1: ass only meaning he got more than one. He don't

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Speaker 1: cut nobody loose. Now, that's two things could be happening here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that friendly Oh lord lord, he was bringing it and

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Speaker 1: they just can't cut him loose. He must have been

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Speaker 1: up in there just he must have been letting him

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Speaker 1: have it. Really. Oh hey, Carlie, why sweetie, you know

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Speaker 1: I've been to tell the truth. Steve can't answer this

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Speaker 1: letter like I can't go ahead and shooting. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: she said he slowed it down when they got married.

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Speaker 1: He changed his phone number. Yeah, because he wanted to

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Speaker 1: show her that he changed his phone number, but they

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Speaker 1: got the new number. Yeah, they got it. He wanted

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Speaker 1: to let her know he was a one woman man.

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Speaker 1: But sister O'Dell, he still has an open door policy

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Speaker 1: for his friends. And then she says she can't complain

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Speaker 1: because he's such a good person. But she's stat of

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Speaker 1: y'all having a home. You got a club. Stop the club?

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Speaker 1: They just coming in going like they won't do it open,

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Speaker 1: they can't. Ain't nobody after do? They just coming in

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Speaker 1: and out. You ain't even got a body guard a

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Speaker 1: dish club, right right? Not a bouncer. Ain't nothing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she says she doesn't complain about that because he is

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Speaker 1: such a great person, but she says he's too available

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Speaker 1: to his female friend. He's a great person to too

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Speaker 1: many people, sweetie, he's supposed to be a great person

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Speaker 1: to you. Well know what, let me help you. He

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Speaker 1: could be a great person all he won't. Then, if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be a great person again, you needs to

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Speaker 1: be a greater husband. That's right, that's right, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Now she's gonna be a great husband. I don't give

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Speaker 1: a damn by how greater people he is uhhh, but

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Speaker 1: the poles skills somewhere else. I need a husband up

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Speaker 1: in hill, right. I need somebody to serve and protect,

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Speaker 1: love and honor, deathly sickness, off for health. Richard Pope

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Speaker 1: said he'll death. Vis Ain't said nobody to take care

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Speaker 1: all these other healths. The wedding wires theyre at the house,

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Speaker 1: she says, they because they think they're one big happy family.

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Speaker 1: And I could put a stop to the big happy

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Speaker 1: family and the thing come to white time meet me.

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Speaker 1: I bet you won't coming up here. Thank you. We're

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Speaker 1: a big happy family. After I come up in there. Yea,

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Speaker 1: let me come over, sweet stop. All is happy as

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Speaker 1: coming up in here if you want to. We're doing

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Speaker 1: it half for checks at the dough half for checks.

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Speaker 1: And then they complain about her being stand offish. Uh

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Speaker 1: to the husband she stand offish yeah and brash. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, we gotta go. I wish thank you, thank

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Speaker 1: y'all for having me though it was real nice. I

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Speaker 1: hadn't been here in a while. By college. By hey, monic,

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Speaker 1: MONI coming hey Mississippi. Tell you mama be oning for

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Speaker 1: some catfish next Friday. All right, sister Dell, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on demand coming up in forty six minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour, it's Sorts Talk with Junior. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to The Stave Harvey Morning Show