Speaker 1: Hello, I'm good. How are you? Nice to meet you?
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you. I love the woolpaper.
Speaker 3: It's brand new. I'm so happy you said it. The
Speaker 3: reason I was a few minutes late. This is the
Speaker 3: first time I've ever recorded in this new space, and
Speaker 3: I'm feeling myself and so this is Valentine's Day, but
Speaker 3: this is my new wallpaper. Yay.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy you complimented me.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad that I noticed that. And I love love,
Speaker 2: so of course i'd see that.
Speaker 1: Well, that's a great way to start.
Speaker 3: So I saw something of yours and I forwarded it
Speaker 3: to my team and said, can you book this guy?
Speaker 3: I don't even remember what I saw, so we'll get
Speaker 3: there eventually. But what would you say you specialize in?
Speaker 3: Would you your your your life coach? You are a therapist? Like,
Speaker 3: what is your background? What do you call yourself? If
Speaker 3: you're on a plane with someone?
Speaker 2: Well, out there in the world, I'm known more as
Speaker 2: the mind architect. I don't particularly like the Monica life coach.
Speaker 2: I think it's sort of somewhat diluted, but agreed, the
Speaker 2: mind architect is something that I generated necessity being the
Speaker 2: mother of invention. I felt there was a void, and
Speaker 2: it felt appropriate that I'm re architecting people's in a
Speaker 2: thinking space. So my product is freedom. I'm bringing people
Speaker 2: freedom from all of their limitations, fears, and constraints.
Speaker 3: I've been hearing a lot somehow I've met. I've ended
Speaker 3: up on the attachment style side of TikTok, and I
Speaker 3: find it fascinating and I never even knew about it,
Speaker 3: Like I'm loving this. What I am loving about social
Speaker 3: media is the access to different people's opinions about self help, like,
Speaker 3: for example, Mel Robbins right now, my friend Mark basically
Speaker 3: Caultrey said, she's like the Rachel Ray of like wellness
Speaker 3: right now in the sense that she's sort of dumbing
Speaker 3: it down, chewing it up and digesting it. So people,
Speaker 3: So the average person who's not even interested in this
Speaker 3: type of stuff normally can talk about it, which I
Speaker 3: think is great. You know, it's like sort of like
Speaker 3: fortune cookie self help. I mean, it's like the comap
Speaker 3: for meditation. We don't all have to go to India
Speaker 3: and know, you know, be silent for three months. And
Speaker 3: I think that's a positive move in the right direction,
Speaker 3: I think, and I would say it's probably tricky for
Speaker 3: people to be listening to everything everyone's saying. But like
Speaker 3: anything else, it's like listening to cooking recipes. You can
Speaker 3: get a bunch of different advice. You're gonna end up
Speaker 3: doing what you think is right, or if something speaks
Speaker 3: to you and you could throw the rest away. But
Speaker 3: there are these new things that aren't new, but that
Speaker 3: are new in the vernacular. And I heard it first
Speaker 3: from because I have a dating podcast, and I heard
Speaker 3: it first from a dating a matchmaker, and was like,
Speaker 3: tell them that you your attachments. I think it was
Speaker 3: like to tell my therapist or to ask my therapist
Speaker 3: about this, that your dating style is anxious attachment. I
Speaker 3: had never heard about it, but the minute I heard
Speaker 3: what the words, I was like, that tracks like you
Speaker 3: want to feel safe at all times. You want to
Speaker 3: know where you are, where you stand. You're not good
Speaker 3: with like sporadic communication. And so because of talking about this,
Speaker 3: I started, you know, people think about someone else's sign,
Speaker 3: their color, personality, whatever, And I started thinking about how
Speaker 3: people are compatible with attachment styles, and I think it's
Speaker 3: fascinating and I wanted to ask you does everybody have
Speaker 3: one or some people only have like the dismissive, avoidant,
Speaker 3: or the anxious, like the ends of the spectrum and
Speaker 3: the person in the middle is fine.
Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be a signed one.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not a traditionally trained therapist, so I
Speaker 2: don't really use those terminologies. I look at it more energetically.
Speaker 2: But I think that runs the gamut. Right. You've got
Speaker 2: the people who are incredibly attached and dependent, the codependency
Speaker 2: that we see in relationships, and then you have people
Speaker 2: who are more aloof and that's their way of surviving.
Speaker 2: I'm much more interested in overcoming all of it. Right,
Speaker 2: So rather than classifying yourself like, oh, your pisces or
Speaker 2: your virgo, which I understand. I enjoy astrology and all
Speaker 2: of those things. I think these more subtle emotional and
Speaker 2: behavioral tendencies they can all be transcended if you're committed
Speaker 2: to being a potent, powerful human being. That's what I'm
Speaker 2: interested in, right.
Speaker 1: Otherwise it's a crutch.
Speaker 3: You're hanging on to that thing and saying you get
Speaker 3: an excreuse, that's my thing, and now I get to
Speaker 3: be that and I am that. It's like saying I'm
Speaker 3: a commitment phobic, or these labels that people. So you
Speaker 3: don't like any of these labels because they box you in.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's what I do, is I help transcend
Speaker 2: all of the constraints, because that's still a constraint. It's
Speaker 2: an enabling behavior where you're basically not wanting to be
Speaker 2: accountable for something, which is where you're dismissing your own
Speaker 2: power as a human being. So I'm in the camp
Speaker 2: of full responsibility for your existence, which not everybody wants.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Well, no, it's very alive, and it's very present and
Speaker 3: it's very honest.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Okay, interesting And how what about the reason I asked this?
Speaker 3: Six My mother passed away in April was very very
Speaker 3: complicated relationship. But I feel that once your parents pass away,
Speaker 3: it's a very profound experience in a positive way. And
Speaker 3: it's hard for people to say and admit that, but
Speaker 3: you become a different person. You become because you talk
Speaker 3: about freedom. I think in ways, even if you had
Speaker 3: a great relationship with your parents, I think in ways,
Speaker 3: it is freeing. I want to know what you think about,
Speaker 3: like what you talk about and think about death.
Speaker 2: I love death, as I was saying around suicide, you know,
Speaker 2: like I don't want people to take their lives. I've
Speaker 2: helped many people not do it. In fact, one of
Speaker 2: my most popular posts on my Instagram is where I
Speaker 2: speak about this distinction about like suicide isn't the death
Speaker 2: of you, but rather than the death of the part
Speaker 2: of you that no longer serves you. Right. So I
Speaker 2: love death because again I say that in order to
Speaker 2: be fully alive, you have to constantly die to the
Speaker 2: olbitteration of yourself. So I love the topic. Again, it
Speaker 2: tends to be taboo, and that's why people don't look
Speaker 2: at it because there's so much fear. Your comment about
Speaker 2: your mom and the death of parents. My mom died
Speaker 2: of cancer when I was seven and then my dad
Speaker 2: and my dad went to work when I was seventeen.
Speaker 2: I was an only child, so it was just me
Speaker 2: and my dad at that point, and he worked on
Speaker 2: the ferries. I grew up in England, and he worked
Speaker 2: on the boats that went between Dover in England and
Speaker 2: Calais in France and then Zayberger in Belgium. And they
Speaker 2: carry cargo and they carry people going on vacations with
Speaker 2: caravans or whatever. And he was on a boat the
Speaker 2: capsides with about fifteen hundred people on it, like you know,
Speaker 2: it's like a cruise liner, and he was sadly one
Speaker 2: of close to two hundred people that died.
Speaker 1: So you were an orphan it's seventeen correct.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, wow, that's wild. That's really wild that I
Speaker 3: would instinctively want to have you on and not even
Speaker 3: knowing really anything about you, but just hearing you speak
Speaker 3: for two seconds, and that I've pretty much been an
Speaker 3: orphan my whole entire life. I'm also an only child.
Speaker 3: But that I would just say that to you and
Speaker 3: ask you about that when I never really ask anybody.
Speaker 3: I've never asked anyone about that. I've talked about it,
Speaker 3: but I think it's weird that I've never asked anybody
Speaker 3: about it and now you like walk into it and
Speaker 3: it's like that.
Speaker 1: So that's energetic to me? Do you believe in all
Speaker 1: of that?
Speaker 3: The energy and like being connected and you being hearing
Speaker 3: me saying that for that reason, Like, that's weird to me.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I mean that's the realm of trafficking,
Speaker 2: right with vibrational beings. I mean everything, ultimately, as Tesla said,
Speaker 2: comes down to energy, frequency and vibration. So so yeah,
Speaker 2: so I cite those in terms of my own experience
Speaker 2: so that I could address your question, which is, yes,
Speaker 2: I know, especially after the death of my mom. I
Speaker 2: was such a good little boy, you know, I was
Speaker 2: such a well behaved, quintessential perfect child that if my
Speaker 2: dad was still alive, I wouldn't And again it's all
Speaker 2: hypothetical because it's not what happened. But I wouldn't have
Speaker 2: become the man I am today because I would have
Speaker 2: still been caught under the auspices of my own It's
Speaker 2: my own, not his interpretation of who he thought or
Speaker 2: I thought he wanted me to be right. So that's
Speaker 2: where most children get stuck, even though they're adults, which
Speaker 2: is why, as you said, people do experience some liberation. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's grief, but they ultimately feel free, often when their
Speaker 2: parents die, because what happens is that narrative that was
Speaker 2: within them associated with their parents now can be let
Speaker 2: go of. There is a form of liberation and freedom
Speaker 2: that occurs, so in ways that I didn't fully comprehend.
Speaker 2: Obviously when all of this happened, I didn't want my
Speaker 2: dad to die. Of course, I nonetheless recognized from a
Speaker 2: soul contract that in order for me to do what
Speaker 2: I do and help find freedom for millions of people
Speaker 2: around the world. I had to go through that myself.
Speaker 2: That was my rite of passage so that I could
Speaker 2: step into what it meant. You know, at the beginning,
Speaker 2: it was pure survival, but then ultimately I found my
Speaker 2: own rais on detra and I found my own purpose.
Speaker 2: And as I said, it's about being completely free, and
Speaker 2: now I can help people find that even though their
Speaker 2: parents are still.
Speaker 3: Alive, whether positive or negative, you relateationship was with the parents, like,
Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be that it was bad or good.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: I mean, I only know the bad, but it is
Speaker 3: and was freeing, and like you, I talked about it
Speaker 3: and I had a very emotional podcast that was like
Speaker 3: a real like gut wrenching. But I did think it
Speaker 3: helped a lot of people because I just don't think
Speaker 3: it's something that people talk about enough, and I was
Speaker 3: going through the experience, so I made sure to talk
Speaker 3: about it as I was going through it completely freed
Speaker 3: and probably not what most people would think is at
Speaker 3: a time when you'd be speaking about it, But that
Speaker 3: was why I thought it was important because we can
Speaker 3: package it later, but it's different when you're going through
Speaker 3: and it's happening.
Speaker 2: You know, well that's the original, you know. To go
Speaker 2: back to adult relationships, romantic relationships, our relationship with our
Speaker 2: parents is the initial codependency relationship that we learn, right
Speaker 2: because as kids, we are dependent, we are powerless, we
Speaker 2: are helpless, we are weak, we don't have resources, and
Speaker 2: so that energetic dynamic, that attachment tends to propagate into
Speaker 2: adult relationships. It is their initial wound. And what people
Speaker 2: don't realize is as one of the first traumas that
Speaker 2: we all experience without it being a trauma, is we
Speaker 2: abandon ourselves because as an agreement, albeit unspoken, that as
Speaker 2: a child, we decide that we will be who we
Speaker 2: think the parent wants us to be in order to
Speaker 2: stay safe, because they're the ones that provide.
Speaker 3: The thing is I there are so many people in
Speaker 3: parental and familial relationships that have a nice package. To
Speaker 3: your point about the thirty five or fifty years of
Speaker 3: marriage has a nice package they get to have. They
Speaker 3: have the resume. My parents are together for fifty years,
Speaker 3: it was me and my brother whatever, and a lot
Speaker 3: of these people because of the things going on inside
Speaker 3: the house, a lot of it's like the parents fought
Speaker 3: but like with in the other rooms. So they thought
Speaker 3: the kids didn't realize they stayed together quote unquote for
Speaker 3: the kids, but they were miserable, like the kids do.
Speaker 3: Feel like there's a lot of I've noticed a lot
Speaker 3: of people that are really really fucked up that came
Speaker 3: from a really good environment, and when you unpack it
Speaker 3: and go deeper, it wasn't that great. They just don't
Speaker 3: get to say that they had issues because it looked perfect.
Speaker 3: You know, like maybe you have parents that never really
Speaker 3: emoted at all. They just didn't. They're not people that
Speaker 3: emote whatsoever. But everything looked good and everybody was dressed
Speaker 3: perfectly and everybody did what they we supposed to. That
Speaker 3: seems like a prison to me for the way that
Speaker 3: I live. At least all the craziness was right out
Speaker 3: in the open. I could see it, and so it's
Speaker 3: a little more freeing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent self express right, you know. The
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter who I've worked with, they could have
Speaker 2: had the most idea copy aesthetic childhood that looks on paper,
Speaker 2: like you said, like it's perfect. And then I've got
Speaker 2: people who were sadly molested by their own father, and
Speaker 2: you know, really heinous and abhorrent things that have happened
Speaker 2: to children. It doesn't really matter as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 2: As long as you're here as a human in this
Speaker 2: dimension of planet Earth, you've got shit to deal with.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what happened. That's the actual dimension of
Speaker 2: what it is to be human. We arrive with these constraints,
Speaker 2: these fears and limitations, and the game of being human
Speaker 2: is to break free. That's it. And you are going
Speaker 2: to be given the list of characters and these NPCs
Speaker 2: and whatever you need to be able to get triggered
Speaker 2: to basically evolve and recognize, without sounding too poetic, your
Speaker 2: own divine nature. That's the game. Whereas most people play
Speaker 2: the human game right, which is, oh, well, I want
Speaker 2: to find a partner, I want to go from a
Speaker 2: studio apartment to a house and then a place in
Speaker 2: the suburbs. I want to make more money, I want
Speaker 2: to get more followers. And there's this exognous game that
Speaker 2: people are playing where they're trying to control circumstances. That
Speaker 2: to me, that's where people are misguided. It's got nothing
Speaker 2: to do with that. It's all about the internal revelation
Speaker 2: of yourself. That's it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you know, my daughter has an incredible
Speaker 3: life and I'm very emotionally available and I'm emotionally intelligent
Speaker 3: and the advice and nurtured and we have a great
Speaker 3: but by the way, I'm a famous person and it's
Speaker 3: a lot going on and it's a different life, and
Speaker 3: who knows how if she'll be fucked up because of
Speaker 3: that or not, Like we can't just everyone's got Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just think that people that grew up in normal
Speaker 3: quote unquote normal household don't get their flowers enough for
Speaker 3: being able to have plight and issues because you don't
Speaker 3: know what's going on beneath the surface is what you know,
Speaker 3: you don't know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter who it is, how ideal like it
Speaker 2: looks like on the surface. All the form the manifest
Speaker 2: world is irrelevant. All of it is a catalyst to
Speaker 2: reveal where are you internally as a human being living
Speaker 2: from what I consider the current way that we function
Speaker 2: as humans is from limitation, fear, suffering, disease, and dysfunction.
Speaker 2: That's the current operating system that we have. And I'm
Speaker 2: introducing people to the operating system on the other side
Speaker 2: of that. So regardless of how available you are or
Speaker 2: how beautiful kind you are, emotionally intelligent you are, for
Speaker 2: your daughter, no, no slight to you, She's still going
Speaker 2: to have to go through whatever she has decided to
Speaker 2: go through as a soul in this paradigm.
Speaker 1: That's it, exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's the good news, right because on both sides.
Speaker 2: You know, one of the things that I deal with
Speaker 2: with a lot with parents is that guilt, the shame, right,
Speaker 2: the mum guilt, and it's like, Okay, you can only
Speaker 2: do the best you can within the realm of awareness
Speaker 2: that you have. So that's the thing that I want,
Speaker 2: you know, parents to understand, is you're going to be
Speaker 2: limited by your own awareness, by your own sense of conditioning,
Speaker 2: by your own patterns, and so to take the load
Speaker 2: off and the pressure that you could fuck up your children,
Speaker 2: like a lot of parents worry about. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 2: want to be, you know, a bitch or an asshole
Speaker 2: as a father, or the disciplinarian or someone who's mercurial
Speaker 2: and raises their voices and God forbid you hit children. No,
Speaker 2: I don't condone that, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: your children, their souls with their own journey that they
Speaker 2: will curate for their own benefits, so that they can
Speaker 2: evolve and discover their own true nature. That's the game.
Speaker 2: So you're more guides as parents, as opposed to to
Speaker 2: thinking that's all incumbent upon you to make sure that
Speaker 2: your children are kind of molly coddled and covered in
Speaker 2: cotton wool.
Speaker 1: It just as well, that's also its own fucked up problem.
Speaker 3: I was talking to two people yesterday in a podcast
Speaker 3: that's everyone wants to wrap their kids in bubble wrap.
Speaker 1: And that's another. That's another.
Speaker 3: The pendulum is we know so much that the pendulum
Speaker 3: is gone in the opposite direction. You know, I was
Speaker 3: raised and be pregnant, drink wine, smoke a cigarette, Let
Speaker 3: you get out the back door, and hope you see
Speaker 3: them at eight o'clock. Like that's right, that was what
Speaker 3: that was the generation I didn't even have that. I
Speaker 3: didn't have parents that would be there at eight o'clock.
Speaker 3: But we you know, everyone wants everyone and I some time.
Speaker 3: At one appearance, I was asked the question that I've
Speaker 3: been asked a million times about the work life mom
Speaker 3: life balance, and I just realized in that moment on
Speaker 3: stage talking to like a thousand people. I'm here right now,
Speaker 3: and I'm present in what I'm doing, and this is
Speaker 3: as important to me and as much a part of
Speaker 3: who I am as being a parent, and in this
Speaker 3: dating thing that I was explaining to before about running
Speaker 3: into all these men, so many men. And I've said
Speaker 3: this a bunch of times in this podcast, want a
Speaker 3: cookie for like, I'm a very involved dad, and they
Speaker 3: want you to really know. And their kid could call
Speaker 3: about a belt, they're buying a mall and they jump
Speaker 3: off because kids come first. The kids come first, And
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, my child comes first. If something's
Speaker 3: going on, my child isn't first every second she's not
Speaker 3: in diapers. Like if I'm in an appearance, I'm in
Speaker 3: an appearance. There are boundaries. And even with men that
Speaker 3: are like, oh, I've never introduced someone to my child,
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, good for you. My daughter has met
Speaker 3: people four dates in doesn't mean we're getting married, doesn't
Speaker 3: mean anything. But sometimes she'll have an opinion if she
Speaker 3: likes them.
Speaker 1: She doesn't.
Speaker 3: Everyone puts these this big emphasis on what they believe
Speaker 3: is being like the best parent, And like I said
Speaker 3: at this appearance, It's equally as important to me to
Speaker 3: be a good parent as it is to be a
Speaker 3: good business person as it is to meet someone. If
Speaker 3: I don't meet someone and I don't have a partnership,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to feel good about the fact that
Speaker 3: I'm going to be the cat lady sitting at home
Speaker 3: waiting for my daughter to come visit me on Thanksgiving. Like,
Speaker 3: I want to have a full life, and I think
Speaker 3: you're the most healthy person if you kind of do
Speaker 3: have a full life. I just think that people sort
Speaker 3: of feel guilty if they're not like standing there as
Speaker 3: a concierge for their kids at all times.
Speaker 1: And I don't believe in that.
Speaker 2: No good for you. I think you know howard is
Speaker 2: your daughter?
Speaker 1: She's fourteen?
Speaker 2: Fourteen? Yes, I mean I would say if I were
Speaker 2: a child, or if I were counseling parents, which I
Speaker 2: often do, then for sure I would much rather a
Speaker 2: parent who's self expressed, who is you know, entrusting their
Speaker 2: child's about to figure shit out? I mean, my dad,
Speaker 2: God bless him. He was one of the most beautiful
Speaker 2: humans I ever met, and people often feel sorry for
Speaker 2: me that he died when I was seventeen. I'm like, look,
Speaker 2: I had my dad for seventeen years who just adored me.
Speaker 2: You've had duels for seventeen and he's never told you
Speaker 2: that he loves you. So wow, which would you rather?
Speaker 3: Right, Well, that's us of the years that really you
Speaker 3: get molded as a person as a kid.
Speaker 1: So that's a that's a fair point. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: fair yeah.
Speaker 2: But one of the things that to your point about
Speaker 2: how you conduct yourself relative to these you know, other
Speaker 2: humans who like again, no fault, no judgment, but most
Speaker 2: people are dictated by fear, right, So that that guilt
Speaker 2: and the concierge, to use your term, energy is all
Speaker 2: fear bait, right, So whereas you're living from more of
Speaker 2: a freedom base, which I applaud. But my dad would
Speaker 2: say to me, he'd draw the shit out of me.
Speaker 2: He would have done anything for me, but he would
Speaker 2: always tell my friends, you know, if I was going
Speaker 2: through something, don't worry about. Peter's old enough and ugly
Speaker 2: enough to take care of himself. And that was his
Speaker 2: affectionate way.
Speaker 1: That sounds very British.
Speaker 2: Yeah, figure it out. He's capable, you know. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: it's the empowering perspective versus the disempowering. And you know,
Speaker 2: humans are so fricking resilient if you look at generations
Speaker 2: gone by, the stuff that we had to withstand and
Speaker 2: go through, and now everyone's so mollycuddled. I mean this
Speaker 2: woke exactly. The woke society I have no time for.
Speaker 2: It's like the expression I've seen the memes so many
Speaker 2: times where people are ashamed of nothing but offended by everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to give people permission.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do a podcast permission to be flat, like,
Speaker 3: to be flawed, and to be selfish like you you know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's an arbitrary rule that like, oh, we have to wait.
Speaker 1: A year until I introduced my daughter, someone said who?
Speaker 1: Who said who? And why? I want her to be
Speaker 1: part of the process.
Speaker 3: It's the two of us, and I want us to
Speaker 3: have a whole community if we meet, if I meet
Speaker 3: someone that I love, I want it to be a
Speaker 3: whole family. But that's just a random thing I'm bringing
Speaker 3: up to you, just as arbitrary as like, oh, I know,
Speaker 3: and your kids have to comfort like these men they
Speaker 3: always want to. It's and it's the same men by
Speaker 3: the way of custodayt their kids like, well, I no
Speaker 3: the kids come for the kids. I'm like, yeah, no,
Speaker 3: my daughter is very important to me and I love
Speaker 3: her and she's a priority, but she doesn't always come first.
Speaker 3: Like I can go on a vacation, I'm allowed to
Speaker 3: leave one night, Like that's okay. Like I learned that
Speaker 3: because I had a brutal divorce that made was made
Speaker 3: guilty about anything that I did if I ever left
Speaker 3: the house for five minutes, and I trained myself into
Speaker 3: this bizarre construct. But like, yeah, I think being being
Speaker 3: a healthy, happy person individually is the same thing as
Speaker 3: put your mind, like put your mask on first in
Speaker 3: the plane, Like exactly, I'm supposed to be happy. I'm
Speaker 3: supposed to be healthy. So I'm additive to my daughter
Speaker 3: not only a train wreck that's panic stricken, just to
Speaker 3: be there for her every second.
Speaker 1: It's weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also this is going to maybe shock a
Speaker 2: few people, maybe even piss a few people off, which
Speaker 2: is fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The misnomer that you know when a guy or woman
Speaker 2: says the kids come first, is actually inaccurate, not only
Speaker 2: because it's inaccurate literally, but it's also what's happening is
Speaker 2: what they're putting first. If they really understand the mechanics
Speaker 2: of the mind. Every human being, by default, and this
Speaker 2: isn't bad, is self oriented. So even when a man
Speaker 2: that you meet says the kids come first, no, that's
Speaker 2: not a truth. What's coming first is his own belief
Speaker 2: that the kids should come first. So it's still about him.
Speaker 1: Well, I could go even deeper.
Speaker 3: I think it's his own belief that it's the performative
Speaker 3: action of what people will think about him saying and
Speaker 3: performing that the kids come first.
Speaker 2: Correct, So it's still self oriented. Yeah, exactly, there's no
Speaker 2: there's no one out there who myself included, who's truly selfless, right,
Speaker 2: because that's not the way we're designed as humans. Our
Speaker 2: imperative is to survive, you know, and that's okay. We
Speaker 2: do the best we can if we can transcend our fears,
Speaker 2: and holy shit, you know, you really can step into
Speaker 2: what I speak from, or I like to really live from,
Speaker 2: is unconditional love. I don't have judgment. I hold space
Speaker 2: with people all around the world, and I do the
Speaker 2: best to allow them to actually step into their own
Speaker 2: self love. Right, But most people have got all of
Speaker 2: these metaphors and these analogies and these belief systems. It's
Speaker 2: all self generated and that's okay too, but stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a little I know what you say. It's
Speaker 3: a little bumper sticker. It's a little bumper sticker. And
Speaker 3: also you're not dealing with the other stick like it's
Speaker 3: it's not balanced if you're so fixated on thinking that
Speaker 3: the kids come first and you're running every second like
Speaker 3: something else is out of whack, like every And that's
Speaker 3: how it started. When I was on stage that day
Speaker 3: to answer that question, I said, I'm present right here
Speaker 3: with you as I talk to you, and when I'm
Speaker 3: with my daughter most of the time, i'm present as well.
Speaker 3: Like I'm not always present in work. Sometimes something happens,
Speaker 3: I'm distracting them out a robot. But when I'm with
Speaker 3: my daughter, I want to be present too. At dinner,
Speaker 3: I intervene in, like get off your phone and let's
Speaker 3: be together. And so anyway, yeah, this is your interesting
Speaker 3: this is an interesting conversation. I'm liking the way this
Speaker 3: podcast in general is going because I'm gravitating towards these
Speaker 3: types of conversations as I think my audience is. It's
Speaker 3: just they do much better ironically than talking to like
Speaker 3: the most A list of celebrities about what's going because
Speaker 3: it's like people are everyone's just trying to survive. And
Speaker 3: I think this is the stuff that's more valuable as
Speaker 3: the conversation. So I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that. That's my commitment. It's certainly
Speaker 2: my purpose, as I said, to help people discover this
Speaker 2: new world of freedom, love and possibility and having vitality
Speaker 2: versus disease, having harmony versus dysfunctions. You know, it's an
Speaker 2: entirely different operating system. And it's okay. People are doing
Speaker 2: the best they can within the limits of their awareness,
Speaker 2: as I said, and that's where the compassion comes in.
Speaker 2: I often say, you can't be how to accountable for
Speaker 2: that which you're oblivious to, right, so we have this
Speaker 2: blind spot. We have these blind spots. That's okay. You
Speaker 2: know people who point fingers at people because they spoke
Speaker 2: or they drink, and it's like, look, they're doing the
Speaker 2: best they can. They don't know why, and if you
Speaker 2: could have compassion, they usually are just missing love. You know.
Speaker 2: It really comes down to that that they were never held,
Speaker 2: they were never seen, they were never heard, they were
Speaker 2: never encouraged, and now they're just like anyone else out there,
Speaker 2: based in fear, trying to fucking survive, and that's the
Speaker 2: human experience. And it's hard, you know, And so I
Speaker 2: come from as much compassion as I can. But at
Speaker 2: the same time, I have my tough love where when
Speaker 2: someone's ready to hear it, I tell them to pull
Speaker 2: their head out of the ass and realize they're extraordinary
Speaker 2: and be responsible for your existence, you know.
Speaker 3: Geat intervene in your own behavior. You and back would
Speaker 3: get along. I'm introduced you guys. Maybe we'll I'll get
Speaker 3: on one time.
Speaker 1: I think you're great.
Speaker 3: I think this was really interesting and I'm so grateful.
Speaker 3: This is a great conversation. Hopefully you'll come back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, thank you for having me on.
Speaker 1: Awesome. Thank you so much. We'll talk again soon.
Speaker 2: Pleasure to be with you. Thank you to the
Speaker 3: Ass went back the faster