Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with Dean and Dared Haven.
Speaker 1: I heart radio podcast. Hello suck Army, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I Suck at Dating. I am Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: uh Dean Angler is golfing again, so he's not going
Speaker 1: to join the podcast this week. But I have a
Speaker 1: I'm kind of kidding, but Dean will not be on
Speaker 1: the podcast this week. He's taken a week off. He's
Speaker 1: recovering from last week having Kitlin on the podcast. That
Speaker 1: was very, very emotionally traumatic for Dean, but it worked
Speaker 1: out pretty well. I thought I gave both of them
Speaker 1: some pretty softball questions. But I have a very special
Speaker 1: guest who's currently sitting next to me in her glam room.
Speaker 1: I guess it's our glam room because it's our apartment.
Speaker 1: My beautiful, wonderful, emotionally driven, amazing wife Ashley, I Ken Eddie,
Speaker 1: have ben, Ladies and gentlemen. Hi a last minute fill in.
Speaker 1: You're never a last minute filling You're always number one
Speaker 1: on my list, always number one. Uh So, welcome to
Speaker 1: help us suck a dating. This is not your first
Speaker 1: time in the podcast, though, so it's really not that interesting.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys know that I love to interject
Speaker 1: whenever I'm walking in now the room and I hear
Speaker 1: Jared say something stupid, which is pretty consistent, I feel, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, stupid is what stupid does. We have
Speaker 1: a wonderful podcast coming up, though, like I said, Ashley
Speaker 1: would be here the entire time. We're gonna be answering
Speaker 1: your questions that I posed, uh from last night on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You guys have amazing questions like you always do, suck Army.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for submitting those. We'll be answering
Speaker 1: them on the podcast. We also have a fantastic guest,
Speaker 1: Lauren Francis, will be joining us later. She's of course
Speaker 1: a relationship expert, and we'll school Ashley and I on
Speaker 1: our relationship. Probably. We of course have some emails that
Speaker 1: we're going to answer our favorite part of the podcast.
Speaker 1: But first and foremost, Ashley, how the hell are you? Jared?
Speaker 1: That's too weird to answer, but but I think we
Speaker 1: should like talk about some funny things that have been
Speaker 1: going on in our relationship. What do you think it
Speaker 1: is so funny that's going on in our relationship? The
Speaker 1: fact that you eat apple so loud? Nobody wants to hear.
Speaker 1: I really think that most people will understand just how
Speaker 1: annoying it is when you're significant other eat something so
Speaker 1: so loud and obnoxiously. Well, let me ask you this.
Speaker 1: In our first few months of dating me eating an apple?
Speaker 1: Was that annoying to you? Um, I'm sure it would
Speaker 1: have been less annoying, but it probably still would have
Speaker 1: been annoying. What's the most annoying thing I do? I
Speaker 1: really think that eating apples is the most annoying thing
Speaker 1: you do right now? That's definitely not I'm not joking
Speaker 1: you my overall pessimism on life itself. You've gotten a
Speaker 1: little better at that. I've got a little better. You
Speaker 1: used to think that you could. I used to not
Speaker 1: think that anything was possible. You'd be like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: a pipe dream. I think like you believe things now
Speaker 1: I don't think you think. I mean, I'm friends with
Speaker 1: Rob Thomas. Like, now I've realized anything is possible. So yeah,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, Like, you're definitely not as pessimistic as
Speaker 1: when we first got together. I think that you're also
Speaker 1: you don't get down on yourself as much as you
Speaker 1: used to. Um, you feel I feel like you feel
Speaker 1: more capable which you know, coincides with what we were
Speaker 1: just saying. Yeah, I guess that's a good thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah, you're not that moody dark that's nice.
Speaker 1: What's the most annoying thing you do? I know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we always focus on the annoying things that you do
Speaker 1: because there's so many to choose from. Um that you
Speaker 1: admit to it too. You admit to your faults as
Speaker 1: I feel like I do as well. Yeah you do.
Speaker 1: You're a little bit more I apologize from all the
Speaker 1: time whenever is happening. It's much more difficult for you,
Speaker 1: I feel like to admit your faults than it is
Speaker 1: mine because I just probably, But it's because you're in
Speaker 1: a good way. I think you're more confident in yourself,
Speaker 1: where you're more sure about certain things you're doing, where
Speaker 1: like I feel like I just navigate through life unsure
Speaker 1: of every decision I've ever made. It's a weird way
Speaker 1: of living, but it's gotten me here, so really, knock
Speaker 1: on what I've been pretty lucky. The most annoying thing
Speaker 1: you do, but you're right, Like I am slower to
Speaker 1: admit when I'm wrong, but you can admit when you're wrong,
Speaker 1: which is a big feat for a lot of people,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people cannot do that. Um. Probably
Speaker 1: the most annoying thing that you do is You'll get
Speaker 1: mad at me for doing certain things, and then you'll
Speaker 1: do the exact same thing, and I'll point out the hypocrisy,
Speaker 1: and then you immediately get defensive and then start getting
Speaker 1: emotional over it. I'm trying to think of a specific example.
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything right now, but like I'll
Speaker 1: do something or like I remember one time held at
Speaker 1: this I complained it was I was complaining about. I
Speaker 1: forget exactly what it was, but it was very first
Speaker 1: world problems. It was nothing, but it was just something
Speaker 1: that I just needed to get off my chest. I
Speaker 1: knew in in the bigger scheme of life, it was
Speaker 1: not a big deal, but in the moment I was
Speaker 1: just perturbed by it, and I wanted to vent to
Speaker 1: Ashley because she's my wife and a word, I had
Speaker 1: a vocabulary. Your vocabulary is uh much more vast than
Speaker 1: I completely I make words up. You say words incorrectly.
Speaker 1: I say words incorrectly, and I'm pretty sure I make
Speaker 1: words up. You do not I think I do. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of times in conversations. I'll say something, but
Speaker 1: I say it convincingly, and I don't think I think
Speaker 1: people just don't second guess me because I sound confident
Speaker 1: when I say it. Even on in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's not a word. Um, but like, okay,
Speaker 1: So anyway, so I was perturbed by this thing, so
Speaker 1: I just wanted to invent to you because you're my
Speaker 1: wife and that's what we do. You know, I would
Speaker 1: never say this to anybody else because I know how
Speaker 1: many school it is, but it just bothered me, so
Speaker 1: I just wanted to get off my chest. So I
Speaker 1: just vent it to you for a second. And then
Speaker 1: you immediately said, like, okay, Jared, that's you said it
Speaker 1: as if like I was annoying you, even though I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure I introduced the entire topic by saying, Ashley,
Speaker 1: I know this isn't a big deal, but I just
Speaker 1: got annoyed by it, so I want to vent about it,
Speaker 1: and so I vented about it, and you're like, Jared,
Speaker 1: that's that'siculous. Don't be mad about that. You introde it
Speaker 1: by saying it's not a big deal. You walked in
Speaker 1: and you were like ead, like a Tyrannosaurus rex. No,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you'd made it seem like it was
Speaker 1: an end of the world thing. And then when you're like,
Speaker 1: this is an end of the world thing, lah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, and I was like, Jared, that's ridiculous. So anyway,
Speaker 1: so I got mad at that because I I told
Speaker 1: that I just needed to get that off my chest,
Speaker 1: and she was just not that was not the reaction
Speaker 1: I needed. So anyway, fast forward a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I did not. I was not there for
Speaker 1: you as a listening here. You did not have to
Speaker 1: apologize for it. But fast forward, you did the exact
Speaker 1: same thing to me, were you. I forget what you
Speaker 1: vented about, but you it was the most miniscule, small problem,
Speaker 1: but it just like piste you off in the moment.
Speaker 1: So you just needed to get it off your chest,
Speaker 1: and you did. And I remembered when I did the
Speaker 1: exact same thing to you. I remember what your reaction was,
Speaker 1: So in my awful brain, I was like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: going to get heard the exact same reaction that she
Speaker 1: gave me a couple of weeks ago, and I know
Speaker 1: it's going to piss her off, So of course I did,
Speaker 1: and I said, Ashley, why are you so mad at that?
Speaker 1: And you were like, because I'm just I'm so mad.
Speaker 1: And then after and then I explained myself. I said, listen,
Speaker 1: I only said that because this is what you did
Speaker 1: to me a couple of weeks ago. And then you
Speaker 1: got defensive and you started crying, and then it was
Speaker 1: fine after that. But yeah, that was the most annoying
Speaker 1: because I was like, I I feel guilty right now
Speaker 1: because I made you sad, But I didn't. I was
Speaker 1: just pointing out your hypocrisy. Okay, I know, I get it. Well,
Speaker 1: you don't have to Okay, No, I know. I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I'm sorry. I doub no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't have up. Yeah a little bit. No, I see,
Speaker 1: I fed up because I should live in a more
Speaker 1: understanding in the moment. It's not really it was av
Speaker 1: I was just trying to It was a very small thing.
Speaker 1: You had every right to be like, Jared, get over
Speaker 1: it quickly anyway, that's our little uh. But seriously, you guys, like,
Speaker 1: I know it sounds annoying, but Jared and I get
Speaker 1: along so well. Knock on, sure, we like we haven't
Speaker 1: even bickered a lot lately. That's why I advocate everybody
Speaker 1: being friends with someone before they get into a committed relationship,
Speaker 1: because I firmly believe the reason that we're so happy
Speaker 1: and we're in a very loving relationship is because we
Speaker 1: have that foundation of friendship beforehand, so like we'd never
Speaker 1: get in big arguments because you know how to handle me,
Speaker 1: I know how to handle you. We we developed this
Speaker 1: rapport um that has created such a strong foundation that
Speaker 1: we built a relationship off that. I I that's that's
Speaker 1: the strength of it right there. We didn't build a
Speaker 1: relationship and then try to build a report and a
Speaker 1: friendship afterwards. We built the friendship and the report and
Speaker 1: then built a relationship on top of that. And I
Speaker 1: know that we're very unique in that, and we got
Speaker 1: very lucky. I got lucky because you, throughout the three
Speaker 1: years of our friendship, could have easily have been like,
Speaker 1: piss off, Jared, I don't want to talk to you anymore.
Speaker 1: Uh Luckily you didn't do that. Thank you. Maybe uh so,
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's just like an extension of myself.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's nobody else in the house that's
Speaker 1: great yeah, all right, okay, Well do you have any
Speaker 1: stupid things to complain about though, like like about the apples?
Speaker 1: And Jared's been falling asleep on the couch at like
Speaker 1: eight thirty every night, Like granted there was a time change,
Speaker 1: and then there was another time change for us because
Speaker 1: we went from East Coast to Pacific Coast. So like
Speaker 1: she's like four hours off. So I get him falling asleep,
Speaker 1: but like, also I like to hang out with him.
Speaker 1: I mean, falling asleep at eight thirty on the couch
Speaker 1: is like, well, I do love falling asleep on the couch.
Speaker 1: There's something so relaxing about it. But only when I'm
Speaker 1: totally ready for bed. Teeth brush, face washed. If you're
Speaker 1: not ready for bed, then it sucks. Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: you fall asleep without getting ready for bed, I know
Speaker 1: it sucks because then I get up And he used
Speaker 1: to be moody. I used to be moodier because I
Speaker 1: used to You've been very good about taking Lois out,
Speaker 1: Like around ten if I fall asleep before I'd fall
Speaker 1: asleep by the couch, I'd wake up. It's like eleven
Speaker 1: thirty midnight, and I'm like, I gotta take loas out.
Speaker 1: I gotta rush my teeth, have to wash my face,
Speaker 1: and then I have to get in bad. Occasionally I do.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to admit fully that, like seven days
Speaker 1: of the week, I don't watch my face at night.
Speaker 1: I wash it. I take showers every day, all right,
Speaker 1: So I think that if I take a shower every day,
Speaker 1: I don't need to wash my face at night. I
Speaker 1: don't watch it. I don't think we were made Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's makeup. That's a big difference right there. But
Speaker 1: you know your nose pores would say otherwise anyway. All right, So,
Speaker 1: like we said, we have many questions from you guys
Speaker 1: that were gonna answer later on in the podcast. We
Speaker 1: also have an email that we're going to talk about.
Speaker 1: But first we have a very special guest that is
Speaker 1: coming on the podcast with us. It is a relationship expert,
Speaker 1: Lauren Francis. But before we talk to her, we're going
Speaker 1: to take a very short break Welcome back to help
Speaker 1: I suck at dating. Of course, Ashley is by my side,
Speaker 1: as she will be in life. But we have a
Speaker 1: very special guest on the podcast right now. She is,
Speaker 1: of course a love and relationship expert. She is the
Speaker 1: author of the best selling book Dating, Mating, and Man Handling.
Speaker 1: Something you could probably relate to it is Lauren Francis.
Speaker 1: Ladies and Gentlemen. Yeah, hey, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1: So extra calls you the man whisper. Tell me why
Speaker 1: and can you help my single friends who just seemed
Speaker 1: to go on day after day and have failure after failure. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is my specialty. So yeah, so I wrote this book.
Speaker 1: This book was just like completely organic. It was a
Speaker 1: bunch of field notes that I wrote down for my
Speaker 1: girlfriends who kept calling me in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night and annoying me, and my boyfriend not calling me.
Speaker 1: Just here you go. And then I wrote this book.
Speaker 1: I wrote it all down and then it got published
Speaker 1: and now people can read it. But yeah, I taught
Speaker 1: I teach women how to be what I call proactive
Speaker 1: in their love life, creates self esteeming relationships, and then
Speaker 1: also help men, you know, be more happy inside of
Speaker 1: their relationships. Well, how what do you think the number
Speaker 1: one blunder is for people going on you know, those
Speaker 1: first couple of days. I'd say like one dates one
Speaker 1: through three when you're just kind of feeling out whether
Speaker 1: you wanted to lead to a relationship. Okay, So well,
Speaker 1: a lot of people right now are dating online. So
Speaker 1: it became like an expert in dating and cyberspace. So
Speaker 1: I have a lot of tips about that if you
Speaker 1: want to talk about dating apps and all of that.
Speaker 1: But you know, the big the big mistake that most there, Well,
Speaker 1: there's a mistake that men make, but there's also mistakes
Speaker 1: that women make, and so I think the mistakes for women. Right,
Speaker 1: for your girlfriends, so you can give them a homae
Speaker 1: hook up? Is uh that you know, first of all,
Speaker 1: they're going on unqualified dates. So I feel like what
Speaker 1: does that mean I'm qualified? Like the men unqualified? Or yeah?
Speaker 1: Is it because like they're going on like kind of
Speaker 1: blind dates. Yeah, they're getting you know, chronic dating fatigue, right,
Speaker 1: they're getting you know, it's like romantic a d D.
Speaker 1: So if you the first thing, like if you're dating
Speaker 1: online right or dating on dating apps, I always tell
Speaker 1: people to put what they want in their app in
Speaker 1: their dating app. So if you want to get married,
Speaker 1: put it in there. If you a great family, put
Speaker 1: it in there. If you're just going for a hook up,
Speaker 1: put it in there, and then people will swipe right.
Speaker 1: It's like shopping on Amazon or you know the giant
Speaker 1: catalog in the sky, right, So you want to just
Speaker 1: be clear about what you are, what your romantic intentions are.
Speaker 1: And then I always suggest talking to men or having
Speaker 1: men talked to women on the phone first, because it
Speaker 1: gets it just cuts to the crap. Well, it's just
Speaker 1: like the amount of times you hear on these dating apps,
Speaker 1: like guys and girls just talking back and forth, like
Speaker 1: if I had a nickel for every time. One of
Speaker 1: Ashley's friends is like this guy, he d ms me
Speaker 1: all the time on the dating app, but he never
Speaker 1: wants to talk to me on the phone call. He
Speaker 1: never planned dates. It's always just like going back and
Speaker 1: forth dates. Yeah, no, you just like cut that. You
Speaker 1: just like literally, uh you know, you just say no.
Speaker 1: Do you think that Do you think technology has helped
Speaker 1: or hurt dating? Oh? I think it's like the wild West.
Speaker 1: I think it's millions of people at your fingertips, but
Speaker 1: then there's also millions of people and you at your fingertips.
Speaker 1: So learning how to sort and sipped through. It's like
Speaker 1: when you're shopping on Amazon, like, right, what's the best deal?
Speaker 1: Like what we wish we had Google reviews like, you know,
Speaker 1: what are Amazon reviews for? You know, love? But that
Speaker 1: being said, the biggest mistake women make is that there
Speaker 1: women hate to hear this. The first date really is
Speaker 1: for men to kind of show off. So I get
Speaker 1: a lot of complaints that women are saying, oh, all
Speaker 1: he did was talking about himself. He was so conceited.
Speaker 1: Has that happened to you. I'm just glad that you're
Speaker 1: saying that. I know people can be like interpreting this
Speaker 1: as sexist, but I do think that the guy should
Speaker 1: probably like lead the first date and ask the girl
Speaker 1: more questions about her self. Did I lead the first date? Jared?
Speaker 1: Our first date was not at all, like I know, like,
Speaker 1: what was our first date? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: The doom Boggie doom boggy? Yeah, I feel like I
Speaker 1: love that. I feel like you probably did. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: was driving exactly, he was driving and metaphor, no, I
Speaker 1: feel like metaphorically you're I was trying to be as
Speaker 1: as possible. No, I know I was driving to doo
Speaker 1: Boggie anyway. Sure, so basics, but on a lot of
Speaker 1: first dates, a lot of guys will like, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of show off. The peacock They want to kind
Speaker 1: of just know that you like them, so they'll tell
Speaker 1: you all the things about themselves that are awesome. Plus
Speaker 1: they're nervous. They're nervous, but they're also like used car salesmen, right,
Speaker 1: so they know how many recks they've been at, many
Speaker 1: miles they've had to turn off, you know, roll off
Speaker 1: the odometer, right in terms of their age. So I
Speaker 1: think the thing that most women don't do well is
Speaker 1: they don't know how to see men and understand that
Speaker 1: you know their peacocking and that they just need to
Speaker 1: be complimented. You don't have to date them again. You
Speaker 1: just need to kind of stroke their feathers and go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's awesome. Tell me more, right, and
Speaker 1: then it'll turn around. The focus will turn around on
Speaker 1: you the next time. But usually have the most for
Speaker 1: the most part, on first dates, men are super nervous,
Speaker 1: and I feel like women are nervous too. I think
Speaker 1: the thing is men are just far more unwilling to
Speaker 1: admit they're nervous. Does that make sense? Like I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, for example, me and Ashley, Ashley is way
Speaker 1: more uh willing to be transparent apparent about her nerves
Speaker 1: were like, as a guy, I want to make it
Speaker 1: seem that I'm not scared or nervous, even though inside
Speaker 1: my heart is beating a million miles per hour. You're
Speaker 1: like just a little a little jello, like a duck
Speaker 1: on the mine. Do you ever heard that reference? What
Speaker 1: a duck on the pond? You know, how duck on
Speaker 1: the surface of the water is very looks still, but
Speaker 1: underneath the feet are going a mile a minute. I don't,
Speaker 1: it's exactly. Yeah. So I feel like women misinterpret, you know,
Speaker 1: when men are kind of showing off, you know, we're
Speaker 1: talking a lot about themselves, and I think they often
Speaker 1: think that men don't like them or they're really conceited.
Speaker 1: But I just think that's how men deal with first
Speaker 1: aid jitters, and I think women often didn't get really
Speaker 1: silent and get really annoyed that men aren't asking about them.
Speaker 1: Did you find that with true? So? I? Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: I don't honestly have any personal details. Yeah, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: But my I'd say that people enjoy it when the
Speaker 1: men ask lots of questions. My question, Lauren, is, so, say,
Speaker 1: like a girl goes on a date with a guy
Speaker 1: and the guy's only talking about himself. He's doing exactly
Speaker 1: what you're describing. He's peacocking. He's not asking questions about her.
Speaker 1: Do you write them off or not? Do you write
Speaker 1: them off after the first date? Or do you give
Speaker 1: him another shot? No, I would actually ask some proactive questions.
Speaker 1: I would just say, oh my god, you're that's fascinating,
Speaker 1: I would, and I would say I I often I
Speaker 1: haven't feel like the most important thing in relationships or
Speaker 1: do people want the same things at the same time?
Speaker 1: Do you have the same relationship goals? But even deeper
Speaker 1: than that. I really feel like it's important to understand
Speaker 1: what you already know all about you as a woman.
Speaker 1: So women often will share a lot about their problems
Speaker 1: right or their negative dating experience. I think that's true
Speaker 1: about men and women. They don't get you know, if
Speaker 1: you're not happy, it's very hard for people to want
Speaker 1: to connect. People want to be with people that are happy, right,
Speaker 1: and especially during the pandemic, there's like a lot of
Speaker 1: complaining that's happening on first dates. Um, I can only
Speaker 1: imagine about what there's so much shock about. And the
Speaker 1: political the political thing right now is so intense, So
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like it's important to just
Speaker 1: know what it is that you want to create and
Speaker 1: then see if the person that you're sitting next to
Speaker 1: somebody you can see that potential with. So, I think
Speaker 1: a good first date question, you know, to ask a
Speaker 1: dude is to say, you, so, what is it that
Speaker 1: you're the most passionate about creating? That's a very deep question,
Speaker 1: most about Yeah, and then that just drops you in
Speaker 1: and you're having like a more heartfelt conversation instead of
Speaker 1: just all like the chatter that normally happens. And the
Speaker 1: reason why that's super important is because as a woman,
Speaker 1: you can't change the thing that a man is the
Speaker 1: most passionate about. Yeah, that's a good first question or
Speaker 1: not first first aid question? Wait, what do you mean
Speaker 1: as as a woman, you can't change what a man
Speaker 1: is passionate about? Like, what would you say? The most
Speaker 1: important thing to you is what the thing that you
Speaker 1: want to create? What I want to create? Yeah? For yourself,
Speaker 1: what are you the most passionate about? Oh Jesus, Uh,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. I am very passionate about the
Speaker 1: pace it's specifically Tom Brady, Uh, Like, what do you
Speaker 1: feel like yours is? Oh? God, that's what you're still
Speaker 1: trying to figure out you know, are we all just
Speaker 1: trying to find that out? Uh? My purpose, I guess
Speaker 1: my purpose. Um, this is gonna sound really stupid, but
Speaker 1: but I feel like my purpose in life is to
Speaker 1: uh uh, this gonna sounds so stupid, getting a body boner.
Speaker 1: I'm getting excited about to say something so meaningful. Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like, uh, be like the glue
Speaker 1: to my family. I that's one of the things that
Speaker 1: I'm first of all, I don't even know if that's true.
Speaker 1: I doubt it is. Well, not that I'm like the
Speaker 1: glue of the family, but like one thing that I
Speaker 1: love more than anything and find that I'm very, very
Speaker 1: good at is dealing with people, specifically dealing with my family.
Speaker 1: And it feels like a lot of times when I
Speaker 1: go home, I bring the family together because I don't
Speaker 1: live at home, and so whenever I'm home and I
Speaker 1: see family, they're like my cousin would be like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen your sister, and like also the last
Speaker 1: time you're at home, And I love that and it
Speaker 1: gives me like joy, Yeah that's the case. So so
Speaker 1: now we're having a really meaningful conversation. Yeah, that's true,
Speaker 1: just opened up his heart and that's like the most so.
Speaker 1: So what I would say about that, it's like, that's
Speaker 1: an amazing that's an amazing thing about you, and that's
Speaker 1: an easy thing for her to support. Well, what do
Speaker 1: you think your purpose is that? Oh, god, babe, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Um. I feel like my purpose, like past,
Speaker 1: especially in the past couple of years, has been um,
Speaker 1: making people feel like they're not alone or like just
Speaker 1: somebody who's relatable, who's gone through a lot of the
Speaker 1: things that they're like currently experiencing or felt weird about
Speaker 1: in the past. Yeah, Lauren, if you don't know. So,
Speaker 1: we were on Bachelor in Paradise and then Ashley ashually
Speaker 1: got this reputation of being well she was very open
Speaker 1: about her virginity being in her late twenties, and then
Speaker 1: she was also very emotional, cried all the time, loved
Speaker 1: boy bands, I like unabashedly, which is that a word? Yes? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: like embrace all the things that are me and well
Speaker 1: some of you know, the virginity thing was weird for
Speaker 1: me to talk about, especially at first, but like whether
Speaker 1: it's as trivial as boy bands or waiting for the rights,
Speaker 1: you know situation. Um, girls would be like, wow, like
Speaker 1: that's so cool to see somebody who is embracing that
Speaker 1: versus like feeling like awkward or like that they have
Speaker 1: to keep that in the closet. Were shame you were
Speaker 1: like you were really up friend. So so your mission
Speaker 1: of you know, being the glue and holding people together, right,
Speaker 1: that's easy for her to support because and you actually
Speaker 1: that's like a that's like a good devetailing fit in
Speaker 1: terms of relationship. And I would say, Ashley, you and
Speaker 1: she's I'm assuming she's super supportive of your family. She
Speaker 1: doesn't give you a hard time if you're on the
Speaker 1: phone or if you care about them. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: not at all, like some women that are like that.
Speaker 1: I like to listen to the conversations like the eaves
Speaker 1: drop away. Yeah. Well I was gonna say family conversations.
Speaker 1: But you're a part of the family. Yeah I know.
Speaker 1: Well we usually are on speaker phone with his parents
Speaker 1: and my parents and the and the parents always know
Speaker 1: that the other is listening in the background. Um, all
Speaker 1: right to checks just for a second, Lauren, give us
Speaker 1: the landscape of virtual dating right now, because everybody's experiencing
Speaker 1: it with the pandemic. So what is what is it
Speaker 1: to like? What is it like dating in the world today? Okay,
Speaker 1: I am calling this the Golden Age of romance. You're not.
Speaker 1: You're not the first person to say that either, Well
Speaker 1: then I'm just like seconding it or third in it. No,
Speaker 1: what I meant is I think you're right. I think
Speaker 1: people do you see what happened on The Bachelor, like
Speaker 1: with you know, the last bachelorette, Claire and Dale. They
Speaker 1: fell in love very quickly. I mean, so it's like
Speaker 1: if you've been like sheltering in place and you've been alone,
Speaker 1: like in your single and your single you know, there
Speaker 1: was a lot of cushion around being single, where single
Speaker 1: people didn't really feel single because they had, you know,
Speaker 1: their girlfriends that they went out with. You had your crew,
Speaker 1: you went to the bar, you hung out, you were
Speaker 1: around family and friends, and all of a sudden, you've
Speaker 1: been at home alone, quarantining, and people are like not
Speaker 1: seeing their their families for the first time for the holidays.
Speaker 1: It's like really hard. But my dad got sick. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I don't know if I'm
Speaker 1: going to see my dad ever. Again he's had and
Speaker 1: he's fine now. But but so just so. But for
Speaker 1: people that are single, I feel like navigating the pandemic,
Speaker 1: navigating the crazy political stuff, you know, all of it
Speaker 1: has really made people under And I live in California,
Speaker 1: so we had like these amazing like fires and you know,
Speaker 1: really like apocalyptic events. It's really made you go if
Speaker 1: you're a single person single and I am alone in
Speaker 1: the house and I ran out of toilet paper and
Speaker 1: I am a terrible cook, and what the So I
Speaker 1: think that it's made people really drop into their hearts
Speaker 1: and go, wow, I actually need a partner, and you
Speaker 1: know where if dating was like a box of chocolate's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll have a bite out of you know. I think
Speaker 1: that the you know, as a dating expert, especially for
Speaker 1: you know, single women, like the dating culture got really
Speaker 1: it was like a bummer. You know, women were just
Speaker 1: so disposable. We we wound up being in a really
Speaker 1: super disposable culture. And nobody's disposable really anyway. So that
Speaker 1: makes sense because like this pandemic must be easing the
Speaker 1: hook up culture. Mm hmm, Well, there is a hook
Speaker 1: up culture, a big hook up culture for kids in
Speaker 1: their twenties, you're just like, let's go. They're just so bored. There.
Speaker 1: I mean, there is that, that's definitely there. But I
Speaker 1: think that you know, people in their late twenties, thirties
Speaker 1: and above, people are really like falling madly in love.
Speaker 1: And I have clients. I have clients that you know,
Speaker 1: just start dating and then all of a sudden they're
Speaker 1: living together. Like literally, it's so and like what happened
Speaker 1: with Claire and Dale and The Bachelor, they were like
Speaker 1: they were quarantining and she saw it. They were like,
Speaker 1: let's go. And that's actually what's happening right now. It's
Speaker 1: really And then also people are breaking up. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: what I heard. I heard a lot of people are
Speaker 1: breaking I mean, honestly, it's not you know, this pandemic,
Speaker 1: as horrible as it is, has you know, shined a
Speaker 1: light on a lot of different people and relationships for
Speaker 1: better and for war. It's probably all for better. Just
Speaker 1: like you said, like if if you broke up during
Speaker 1: the pandemic because you spend so much time together you
Speaker 1: realized you weren't the right fit, it kind of worked
Speaker 1: out because at least you found out in a short
Speaker 1: amount of time rather than three years from now and
Speaker 1: possibly you know, having it worse off, whether you know
Speaker 1: you had to get a divorce or you know there's
Speaker 1: children involved. Um, I don't know. It's a crazy world
Speaker 1: we're living in right now. It's a crazy and the
Speaker 1: thing that changed, you know, The thing that I'm suggesting
Speaker 1: to my clients is to really kind of update your profile.
Speaker 1: So if you just used to say I love zip
Speaker 1: lining and you know, going to the Eiffel Tower, you
Speaker 1: know you're you're really not doing that right now. You're
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch. Everybody knows it, and you're lonely.
Speaker 1: So uh, you know, talk about the things that you
Speaker 1: have mastered during the pandemic. And I feel like really
Speaker 1: having um suggest everybody gets on the phone for first
Speaker 1: date and then does a FaceTime date afterwards, because you
Speaker 1: literally are taking your life if you believe in COVID?
Speaker 1: Uh whould I do? You know? You're taking your life
Speaker 1: in your hands just making out or just taking your
Speaker 1: mask off and having caught Like the stakes have never
Speaker 1: been so high. So I feel like it's a really
Speaker 1: good idea to treat first dates as phone dates and
Speaker 1: then do a FaceTime date and see if they look cute,
Speaker 1: like if they look like they look in their picture,
Speaker 1: if you two look like you look like this is
Speaker 1: the cutest you too, are delicious, Lauren, Well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. That's so nice of you to say you're
Speaker 1: You're welcome to come back on the podcast anytime. I will.
Speaker 1: And I'm not just flattering you. It's just like super cute.
Speaker 1: You're just like very cute anyway. So so I would
Speaker 1: use the zoom like that FaceTime date and get a
Speaker 1: ring light so you look cute, you know, doing interviews,
Speaker 1: just like get a ring light and you know, set
Speaker 1: up a time for It's just you can just say, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, having so much fun talking to you, I think,
Speaker 1: well let's set up a FaceTime date. I completely agree.
Speaker 1: I think FaceTime dates are great. We should have really
Speaker 1: invested in ring lights before all this happened. You really
Speaker 1: don't need one yet I did. Um. But then you know,
Speaker 1: you do the FaceTime date and then you treat it
Speaker 1: like a first date, so you just get dressed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know that's kind of well, usually have a
Speaker 1: drink too, Like do you want to meet for drinks
Speaker 1: via zoom? Yes, you could have like a zoom date.
Speaker 1: We talked about on the podcast before where you can
Speaker 1: get like listen, you don't have to go over the top,
Speaker 1: but like you know, it's the one time where you
Speaker 1: get to like kind of dress up and even if
Speaker 1: you can't leave your house, you have a nice little
Speaker 1: zoom day and you make like a martini or you know,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to do, have fun with it. Virtual cocktails, yeah,
Speaker 1: virtual cocktails. I mean you're not driving home, You're fine. Um.
Speaker 1: And also I agree update your your profile so if
Speaker 1: it says I like going to the Eiffel Tower, just
Speaker 1: change that to um, I love going to the refrigerator. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love binge watching Ozark. I actually this was the
Speaker 1: funniest thing I started. So when COVID happened, I was like,
Speaker 1: I gotta help my ladies because I do tell a class.
Speaker 1: You know, I do a lot of you know, tele
Speaker 1: classes and got a podcast. Um uh dose avitam l.
Speaker 1: But I have a lot of free stuff on my side,
Speaker 1: people to go to and get go my book. It's
Speaker 1: my plug. But I started to be called the Ring
Speaker 1: and it was like just all my ladies who were
Speaker 1: single during COVID, and I started coaching them and a
Speaker 1: lot of them wound up in relationships. But one of
Speaker 1: the first adapters after the lockdown, I think it was
Speaker 1: great was meeting She had her first date in a
Speaker 1: parking lot in front of Costco. They literally met her,
Speaker 1: and then they did some light shopping together, and then
Speaker 1: they met at another like shop. And then I said, Okay,
Speaker 1: if when you meet in front of a pharmacy, I'm
Speaker 1: going to know it's seriously Yeah, that sounds like a
Speaker 1: great day to me. I'm not a little shopping at Costco.
Speaker 1: I'll do that fine. He had a Costco, she had
Speaker 1: a Costco card, and he didn't. They met a Costcoit's
Speaker 1: day with they went somewhere to Costco. Lauren, I just
Speaker 1: want to thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
Speaker 1: You were awesome. We really appreciate it. Everybody listening. You
Speaker 1: can go to Lauren Francis dot com for everything she's
Speaker 1: doing right now. You can check her out on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Followers you are Lauren Francis Love on Instagram, and of
Speaker 1: pick up a copy of her best selling book Dating,
Speaker 1: Mating and Man Handling Laurens or anything else you want
Speaker 1: to plug before you go. No, You're just awesome and
Speaker 1: I really I love I actually I do a lot
Speaker 1: of interviews, and I loved listening to your podcast. You've
Speaker 1: had a lot of my friends on it too, So
Speaker 1: I'd love to come back any time, and I wish
Speaker 1: you all the love that you deserve. Thank you, Lauren.
Speaker 1: The door is always open. We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to help I suck at dating. Of course,
Speaker 1: I'm joined by a beautiful wife, Ashley. Lauren was so sweet.
Speaker 1: She was the best. Make sure you go to Lauren
Speaker 1: Francis dot com check out everything she's doing right now.
Speaker 1: Like we said, we're gonna answer some of your questions
Speaker 1: suck am me because you guys are the best. We
Speaker 1: have Eastern and Becky on the line as well, because
Speaker 1: you know what, We're gonna have a little question panel.
Speaker 1: Why not when Dean's not here? What is it when
Speaker 1: the cat's away? The mice will That's what we're doing today.
Speaker 1: Uh So some of your questions are really good. I
Speaker 1: like this one. What are your thoughts on the right
Speaker 1: person at the wrong time? So I used to think
Speaker 1: that was a total excuse. I was like, the right
Speaker 1: person will want to be with you whenever is now? Um,
Speaker 1: But then obviously Jared is case in point an example
Speaker 1: that that does not stick. Um, you can know the
Speaker 1: right person and it'd be the wrong time for them,
Speaker 1: for sure, But I don't think that that is a
Speaker 1: common thing. What are you looking at me like that for?
Speaker 1: I don't know where you're going with this. I don't
Speaker 1: know where I'm going with us either, But do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? Because like I'll have friends
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, I think it was just the
Speaker 1: wrong time for him, and I'll be like, no, that's
Speaker 1: b s. But with us it was true. So maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. Well, Becky, what do you think
Speaker 1: Do you think that there's a such thing as the
Speaker 1: right person, wrong time or if it's the wrong time,
Speaker 1: it's just the wrong person. Um. I wouldn't say like
Speaker 1: it's just the wrong time and it's the wrong person.
Speaker 1: I think that there's certain people in your life that
Speaker 1: are in for certain seasons, um. And maybe it's just
Speaker 1: not supposed to happen in the future. But um, I
Speaker 1: I don't have a personal experience or know any friends
Speaker 1: that have like eventually gotten back with their person and
Speaker 1: it worked out. It never really worked out in the end,
Speaker 1: and it was really the wrong person times that than
Speaker 1: the opposite on this one, maybe Easterns. I mean this,
Speaker 1: this kind of thing happened to me too, Like I
Speaker 1: wast friends with my wife for like almost a decade
Speaker 1: before we started dating, such a long bedding process. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know, you guys can relate. We were one third year.
Speaker 1: You know, you've got to be really sure, that's what
Speaker 1: they always say. But I don't remember having a crush
Speaker 1: on Allison, like when we just worked together, and she
Speaker 1: she says she felt the same way, and we were
Speaker 1: both in other relationships, And I like to think that
Speaker 1: it was the right person, just at the wrong time,
Speaker 1: and at least on my part, I definitely had a
Speaker 1: lot of growing up to do before I was able
Speaker 1: to be the partner that she deserved. And she's been
Speaker 1: fine the whole time, So it's always the right time
Speaker 1: you needed to clean your act up. But I think
Speaker 1: that can happen. I definitely think so well. Jared and I.
Speaker 1: You especially say that if we got together during Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise too, and we were like an official boyfriend girlfriend,
Speaker 1: you don't think that we would have survived the entire
Speaker 1: way through. You think that we eventually would have gotten
Speaker 1: back together but he thinks that we would have had
Speaker 1: like some sort of we would have we would have
Speaker 1: had way more rough patches. I agree with that. I
Speaker 1: think both you and I had a lot of growing
Speaker 1: up to do in these few years that we became friends.
Speaker 1: So it worked out really well. But we just got
Speaker 1: super lucky, because it doesn't work out for a lot
Speaker 1: of people, because people move on and life goes on.
Speaker 1: You hear so many here's some stories about people who
Speaker 1: were like, oh, I rekindled things with like my high
Speaker 1: school boyfriend decades after. You know. Yeah, all right, next
Speaker 1: question comes from our very own tory. I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: out on this one, good old tour. We miss you.
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm not joking about this. How much is
Speaker 1: too much porn? A guy told me he watches almost
Speaker 1: every night? I think every night. If you're watching porn
Speaker 1: every night, I think I think that might be a
Speaker 1: little bit too much, especially like, well, here's the thing,
Speaker 1: is the dude single. Is he in a relationship that's
Speaker 1: you know, that's a big difference. Obviously, answer this question.
Speaker 1: You don't want to answer this one, you know, So
Speaker 1: why don't you take this one first? Hey? You know,
Speaker 1: I mean it's all up to Sometimes any porn is
Speaker 1: too much pored. And sometimes I think when it like
Speaker 1: affects your work and your daily routine, I think that's
Speaker 1: when it becomes a problem. Like like I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to watch them right now, this damn podcast is
Speaker 1: in the way, but yeah, really affects the Wi Fi quality. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta watch it. That's horrible, But you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know I personally every night is
Speaker 1: I mean, it seems excessive to me, but it seems
Speaker 1: a little excessive. Not gonna lie, Becky, I'll I'll get
Speaker 1: you off the hook on this one. You don't have
Speaker 1: to answer that one. Uh. This comes from Julie. It
Speaker 1: says a guy and I are six months in exclusive
Speaker 1: but no titles. Should I be worried? Six months exclusivity?
Speaker 1: But you guys are a boyfriend girlfriend Okay, so being
Speaker 1: exclusive means your boyfriend and girlfriend. This guy obviously just
Speaker 1: isn't like labels. Yeah, but I don't like that. But
Speaker 1: maybe he's maybe he's lying. Maybe he's saying that he
Speaker 1: doesn't want the label because he's actually dating someone else
Speaker 1: and he's just saying that he's exclusive to her. Even
Speaker 1: though he wants to, you know, mingle around. I don't
Speaker 1: know that it doesn't make any sense. It goes hand
Speaker 1: in hand if you are exclusive your boyfriend and girlfriend,
Speaker 1: and if you are not exclusive, but it leaves that
Speaker 1: little loophole, that tiny little loophole for him. See, I
Speaker 1: was I was in an exclusive relationship for six months,
Speaker 1: and but he like would never call me. I would
Speaker 1: never call him my boyfriend, and he would never call
Speaker 1: me a girlfriend, but he would say, like you're my
Speaker 1: girl or whatever. But it was like that like level
Speaker 1: of commitment, Like there was just like that one little
Speaker 1: extra step to have that label on it, and like
Speaker 1: he just didn't want that. So even though we were
Speaker 1: still only people seeing each other, I think that was
Speaker 1: like again his loophole. One of my best friends had
Speaker 1: this experience, and I'm telling you, he would say the
Speaker 1: exact same thing, like you're the only girl I care about,
Speaker 1: You're the only girl i'm seeing low so adamant about that,
Speaker 1: and and yet would not call her girlfriend. I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: like at least a year. It was so bad to
Speaker 1: the point where like they were almost living with each
Speaker 1: other and he wasn't calling her girlfriend. But finally he
Speaker 1: got over it, but I don't remember that there was
Speaker 1: like a hurdle. But he was so uncomfortable just with
Speaker 1: the title. I don't know. That's bizarre to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I have a follow question. Why would that title
Speaker 1: be uncomfortable men? Yeah? No, I agree, it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: If you're exclusive, then just be boyfriend girlfriend. There's legitimate,
Speaker 1: there's no difference. Yeah, I agree. I love that title.
Speaker 1: I wanted like when I was a dating man. We'd
Speaker 1: go on one day and I'm like starting my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I know. It's so exciting when you're
Speaker 1: able to use that word. Yeah, boyfriend girlfriend. No, I agree,
Speaker 1: especially in the early stages when you start going out
Speaker 1: and like you hang out with your friends and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is my girlfriend. Are you Like you're like family
Speaker 1: get togethers and you're like, oh, my boyfriend does that
Speaker 1: or my boyfriend's coming. Yeah. I mean, it gets old,
Speaker 1: but it's very nice at the beginning stage. Uh. What
Speaker 1: was your biggest dream when you guys were kids. That's
Speaker 1: a question. I like this one. It's not dating, but
Speaker 1: you know, it's very cute. Oh man, I mean besides
Speaker 1: being superman. I'm not sure I mean you guys. I
Speaker 1: used to watch I loved Backdraft the movie, and I
Speaker 1: used to watch Rescue nine one one. So I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a firefighter until I was like six firefighter Ashley.
Speaker 1: It's very cute. You'd be a terrible firefighter. Becky, what
Speaker 1: about you? What was you childhood dream? Um? My childhood
Speaker 1: dream was I sing, and I'm saying my whole life
Speaker 1: like my parents always just I could sing before I
Speaker 1: could talk. So my dream was to be like a superstar,
Speaker 1: like being the singer. Well, Becky, you have a beautiful voice.
Speaker 1: I heard you singing on Instagram the other day. You
Speaker 1: did well you reposted it on your story. Oh you guys.
Speaker 1: Of course I saw that. I follow you. Oh it
Speaker 1: was I was. I was taken back. I didn't know
Speaker 1: you had a voice like that. Did you make it
Speaker 1: for close friends? And apparently Jarny's are now close? You
Speaker 1: know what? Jared? You follow me on help I second dating.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize connect with that. That's how I saw that. Yeah, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I appreciate it. Of course, I
Speaker 1: don't think that's a childhood dream. I think that's a
Speaker 1: that's a something you can very much obtain Eastern. I
Speaker 1: want to know what your dream was besides just being
Speaker 1: awesome and growing must I wanted to be on the radio.
Speaker 1: I love the radio. Since I was a very little kid,
Speaker 1: I wanted to be on the radio, and I'm I
Speaker 1: work in the radio now and it's the dream come true.
Speaker 1: Of course, you have the most adorable answer to this question. Um, well,
Speaker 1: let's see what's your best first date? Wait? Because Jared,
Speaker 1: what did you want to be? I told you Superman?
Speaker 1: I wanted to be honestly, as a kid, I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a cop because I grew up watching cop movies.
Speaker 1: Like some of my favorite movies that I watched all
Speaker 1: the time, well two of them Kiana Reeves movies Point
Speaker 1: Break and Speed Got. I watched those probably like a
Speaker 1: hundred times as kid. I watched like I loved Swat
Speaker 1: when that first came out with Colin farl and Samuel Jackson.
Speaker 1: I just loved cop movie and so I wanted to
Speaker 1: be a cop growing up. Um, and then I became
Speaker 1: a reality TV starts. Uh, so, Ash, what's your best
Speaker 1: first day? And you obviously should it not be ours? Like,
Speaker 1: because that's obvious? I guess yeah, Oh no, you don't
Speaker 1: want it, You don't want to hear about it. Probably
Speaker 1: don't want to hear about it. It was something I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. Well, like, is it somebody that
Speaker 1: I like I know of? Um, when I think about that,
Speaker 1: I guess that was like two that were really really nice,
Speaker 1: but like they obviously nothing really evercame of them. They're
Speaker 1: very nothing. Well, what was it? Very weird? Did you
Speaker 1: have a boat? One boat? Didn't you go to boat
Speaker 1: or something? I want a boat with Jonas brothers? Well,
Speaker 1: that's stupid, you know mine? Okay, one was with like
Speaker 1: a friend who like we kissed a few times before,
Speaker 1: and we went to an Orioles game and then to
Speaker 1: a bar afterward, and it was just fun. And then
Speaker 1: that was like a that was like a date date,
Speaker 1: but it was like the only date we ever went on.
Speaker 1: And then the other one was just like somebody this
Speaker 1: is that I got along with? Well, and we went
Speaker 1: to a really nice restaurant and like you could tell
Speaker 1: that like he like hand picked it and like the
Speaker 1: people knew him there and it was just a very
Speaker 1: easy conversation. That's it. That's very weird. What about you, Thanky,
Speaker 1: what's your best first date. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: have one. Um, I mean tomorrow is probably listening, so
Speaker 1: poor guy. Um. Yeah, I don't really think like I have.
Speaker 1: I mean I just had like good conversations and good dates,
Speaker 1: but I don't think there's anything like an activity that
Speaker 1: was like, wow, this guy really put a lot of
Speaker 1: thought in there, and this was fun and cool. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean the whole weekeme was tomorrow was great. Tomorrow.
Speaker 1: If you're listening, you're also but you can't see your
Speaker 1: wife either. My my wife and I never had like
Speaker 1: a first date. That's something that we talked about. But
Speaker 1: but something else we were talking about the other day
Speaker 1: is like having an incredible first date with someone and
Speaker 1: then it like doesn't go anywhere or like or you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like that can happen. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it wasn't anything crazy, but I do remember
Speaker 1: there was this young lady named Bronica that I did
Speaker 1: it for like a year, and our first date was
Speaker 1: just one of those nights that you just like never
Speaker 1: want to end. Like, you know, you got to dinner
Speaker 1: and if everything's going great, and then you go get
Speaker 1: coffee and then in our case, who went down to
Speaker 1: the seaside of musement park that I used to and
Speaker 1: wrote some rides. It was just it was just a
Speaker 1: great time and you know, it was very nice, very
Speaker 1: nice night. Um. And then the relationship ended quite poorly,
Speaker 1: but that's okay. Um. Yeah, I'm my one of my
Speaker 1: favorite first dates besides ours, of course, because I went
Speaker 1: bowling one time, um with a girl and that was
Speaker 1: a lot of fun because I never really went on
Speaker 1: any sports activity with a girl on a date before
Speaker 1: on a first day, and so that was super fun
Speaker 1: because she was competitive and good at bowling so and
Speaker 1: I'm very competitive and decent that bowling. So that was fun. Uh.
Speaker 1: And went to like, you know, some cool bowling place
Speaker 1: that's like you know, has like club at not club outnesshere,
Speaker 1: but it's musing playing and dim lighting and there's like
Speaker 1: the neon lights everywhere. So that was fun. And then
Speaker 1: the other one I went, I went on a date
Speaker 1: at first date at one time with a girl that
Speaker 1: it went really well and we it was like similar
Speaker 1: to you East and actually you saying it reminded me
Speaker 1: of it. Where we stayed up to like four or
Speaker 1: five in the morning, just like talking and then you're like,
Speaker 1: holy it's five in the morning, the sun's coming up.
Speaker 1: So that was a great first day as well, but
Speaker 1: nothing ever compared to But I do agree with like
Speaker 1: it being like kind of something that you wouldn't normally do.
Speaker 1: Like when we did go to the Orioles game, it
Speaker 1: was like Camden Yards a summer night. It's like a
Speaker 1: cool feel and it's like he had friends that like
Speaker 1: always gathered around this one bar before like in the
Speaker 1: stadium before or the game started, and you could just
Speaker 1: tell he was like proud to show to them, which
Speaker 1: is nice. It was cool, And that's the end of
Speaker 1: this weird conversation. Yeah, so there's this question I want
Speaker 1: to ask that one, um, should you know I don't
Speaker 1: know that I don't know. I like maybe a ballpark
Speaker 1: maybe supposed to know, like a ball The question is,
Speaker 1: should you know the number of sexual partners your partner
Speaker 1: has had? And I i'd say a ballpark figure, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like yeah, I think it might be
Speaker 1: worse if you know the exact number and you're like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: thirty seven or whatever it is, then you're like, oh what, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're keeping count. I have learned not to share my number.
Speaker 1: But then also not to ask me number because this
Speaker 1: one guy scared me with how big his number was. Um,
Speaker 1: and I just want, I just want um. It was
Speaker 1: it was like it was a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: so I'm sure it's grace now, but it was a hundred.
Speaker 1: Yes he can. I thought. I laughed because I was like,
Speaker 1: you're joking, and he's like so specific, it's so precise. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was like, you really keep trying. Do you
Speaker 1: have the written down? Yeah, you have like a white
Speaker 1: board in his bedroom, Like I had a kiss the dust,
Speaker 1: but like my kiss less was only twenty two, I think,
Speaker 1: so like that wasn't like it was like kissless that
Speaker 1: was twenty two. That's pretty cute and innocent. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that's very adorable. I agree with the kind of
Speaker 1: like you guys ever see I forget which American pie
Speaker 1: it is, but they're like any guy that tells you
Speaker 1: his number divided by three, and that's the actual number
Speaker 1: of people he slept with and with girls, whatever number
Speaker 1: they tell you, multiply it by three and that's the
Speaker 1: actual number of people. That's what interesting Because your best
Speaker 1: girlfriend told me a number for Jared that was far different,
Speaker 1: like one third the amount than the one that he
Speaker 1: told me on our honeymoon. How the hell would she know?
Speaker 1: I don't know. She she literally thought, I mean, should
Speaker 1: I put out numbers here? No numbers, no numbers, numbers, no,
Speaker 1: no numbers, just getting That's it this week, ladies and
Speaker 1: Jonathier for help. I suck at dating. No specific that's
Speaker 1: so weird. She told you a number she has no idea. Well,
Speaker 1: she made it seem like she had a very good
Speaker 1: idea and that it was like, well it was star
Speaker 1: different than the number that you speculated with me. Well,
Speaker 1: I know more than she Know's okay about my sex life? Anyway?
Speaker 1: What were we saying? I think that's it, right, I
Speaker 1: think that's it. That was good. We'll answer more of
Speaker 1: your questions next week. We have tons of questions on here.
Speaker 1: We're when Dean is back. Maybe we'll see if he's back.
Speaker 1: We'll find out next next week. I'll take his check. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he's still you know, he's got to pay for the van. Uh.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to Lauren Francis for joining us
Speaker 1: on the podcast again. Make sure you go to Lauren
Speaker 1: Francis dot com check out more from her. Becky Easton.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for helping me and Ashley answer
Speaker 1: some of these questions. It was very entertaining, very funny.
Speaker 1: You guys are the best. Uh and UH that will
Speaker 1: do it, of course. Thank you all of you suck
Speaker 1: army for for asking us questions, for emailing us in
Speaker 1: your questions, and you guys are the best. We love
Speaker 1: you so much. Please keep emailing us. Follow us on
Speaker 1: help by Second Dating Instagram, and then make sure you
Speaker 1: tune in next week where hopefully we all suck just
Speaker 1: a little less. Follow Help by Suck at Dating on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast