WEBVTT - The Man Whisperer 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dean and Dared Haven. 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:11.880 I heart radio podcast. Hello suck Army, welcome back to 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.200 help I Suck at Dating. I am Jared Haven and 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:18.840 uh Dean Angler is golfing again, so he's not going 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:21.159 to join the podcast this week. But I have a 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.200 I'm kind of kidding, but Dean will not be on 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.120 the podcast this week. He's taken a week off. He's 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.920 recovering from last week having Kitlin on the podcast. That 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:33.880 was very, very emotionally traumatic for Dean, but it worked 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:35.559 out pretty well. I thought I gave both of them 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.400 some pretty softball questions. But I have a very special 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:42.040 guest who's currently sitting next to me in her glam room. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:43.960 I guess it's our glam room because it's our apartment. 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:49.240 My beautiful, wonderful, emotionally driven, amazing wife Ashley, I Ken Eddie, 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:54.840 have ben, Ladies and gentlemen. Hi a last minute fill in. 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:58.120 You're never a last minute filling You're always number one 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:01.360 on my list, always number one. Uh So, welcome to 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:02.800 help us suck a dating. This is not your first 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.360 time in the podcast, though, so it's really not that interesting. 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:07.640 I mean, you guys know that I love to interject 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.000 whenever I'm walking in now the room and I hear 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.479 Jared say something stupid, which is pretty consistent, I feel, yeah, 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:16.679 but you know, stupid is what stupid does. We have 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.240 a wonderful podcast coming up, though, like I said, Ashley 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:21.080 would be here the entire time. We're gonna be answering 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:25.200 your questions that I posed, uh from last night on Instagram. 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.240 You guys have amazing questions like you always do, suck Army. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.240 Thank you so much for submitting those. We'll be answering 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.640 them on the podcast. We also have a fantastic guest, 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:35.679 Lauren Francis, will be joining us later. She's of course 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:38.480 a relationship expert, and we'll school Ashley and I on 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:41.160 our relationship. Probably. We of course have some emails that 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.520 we're going to answer our favorite part of the podcast. 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:47.800 But first and foremost, Ashley, how the hell are you? Jared? 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:50.960 That's too weird to answer, but but I think we 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.760 should like talk about some funny things that have been 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:55.920 going on in our relationship. What do you think it 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:57.600 is so funny that's going on in our relationship? The 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.000 fact that you eat apple so loud? Nobody wants to hear. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.480 I really think that most people will understand just how 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:07.520 annoying it is when you're significant other eat something so 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:11.560 so loud and obnoxiously. Well, let me ask you this. 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.400 In our first few months of dating me eating an apple? 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:16.959 Was that annoying to you? Um, I'm sure it would 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:20.440 have been less annoying, but it probably still would have 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.880 been annoying. What's the most annoying thing I do? I 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.040 really think that eating apples is the most annoying thing 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.440 you do right now? That's definitely not I'm not joking 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:34.800 you my overall pessimism on life itself. You've gotten a 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:38.840 little better at that. I've got a little better. You 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.560 used to think that you could. I used to not 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.000 think that anything was possible. You'd be like, oh, that's 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.399 a pipe dream. I think like you believe things now 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:50.440 I don't think you think. I mean, I'm friends with 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:55.119 Rob Thomas. Like, now I've realized anything is possible. So yeah, 0:02:55.280 --> 0:02:57.840 no, no no, no, Like, you're definitely not as pessimistic as 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.919 when we first got together. I think that you're also 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:05.360 you don't get down on yourself as much as you 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:08.320 used to. Um, you feel I feel like you feel 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.800 more capable which you know, coincides with what we were 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:14.040 just saying. Yeah, I guess that's a good thing. Yeah, 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:18.760 I guess. Yeah, you're not that moody dark that's nice. 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.399 What's the most annoying thing you do? I know? Yeah, 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.160 we always focus on the annoying things that you do 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.240 because there's so many to choose from. Um that you 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.680 admit to it too. You admit to your faults as 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.600 I feel like I do as well. Yeah you do. 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:34.360 You're a little bit more I apologize from all the 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:37.800 time whenever is happening. It's much more difficult for you, 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.080 I feel like to admit your faults than it is 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:45.320 mine because I just probably, But it's because you're in 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:47.640 a good way. I think you're more confident in yourself, 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.000 where you're more sure about certain things you're doing, where 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:53.840 like I feel like I just navigate through life unsure 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.600 of every decision I've ever made. It's a weird way 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.400 of living, but it's gotten me here, so really, knock 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.600 on what I've been pretty lucky. The most annoying thing 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:07.120 you do, but you're right, Like I am slower to 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:10.280 admit when I'm wrong, but you can admit when you're wrong, 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.360 which is a big feat for a lot of people, 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.640 because a lot of people cannot do that. Um. Probably 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:21.520 the most annoying thing that you do is You'll get 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:24.360 mad at me for doing certain things, and then you'll 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.560 do the exact same thing, and I'll point out the hypocrisy, 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:31.080 and then you immediately get defensive and then start getting 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.560 emotional over it. I'm trying to think of a specific example. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:39.080 I can't think of anything right now, but like I'll 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.279 do something or like I remember one time held at 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.279 this I complained it was I was complaining about. I 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:47.400 forget exactly what it was, but it was very first 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.520 world problems. It was nothing, but it was just something 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.240 that I just needed to get off my chest. I 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.960 knew in in the bigger scheme of life, it was 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:55.640 not a big deal, but in the moment I was 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.320 just perturbed by it, and I wanted to vent to 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.600 Ashley because she's my wife and a word, I had 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:06.840 a vocabulary. Your vocabulary is uh much more vast than 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:12.400 I completely I make words up. You say words incorrectly. 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.880 I say words incorrectly, and I'm pretty sure I make 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.760 words up. You do not I think I do. There's 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.839 a lot of times in conversations. I'll say something, but 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.520 I say it convincingly, and I don't think I think 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.360 people just don't second guess me because I sound confident 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:27.680 when I say it. Even on in my head, I'm like, 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.760 I'm pretty sure that's not a word. Um, but like, okay, 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:32.520 So anyway, so I was perturbed by this thing, so 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:33.880 I just wanted to invent to you because you're my 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.960 wife and that's what we do. You know, I would 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.560 never say this to anybody else because I know how 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.160 many school it is, but it just bothered me, so 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:41.400 I just wanted to get off my chest. So I 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.320 just vent it to you for a second. And then 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:47.960 you immediately said, like, okay, Jared, that's you said it 0:05:48.000 --> 0:05:50.800 as if like I was annoying you, even though I'm 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:54.200 pretty sure I introduced the entire topic by saying, Ashley, 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:55.640 I know this isn't a big deal, but I just 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.479 got annoyed by it, so I want to vent about it, 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:59.080 and so I vented about it, and you're like, Jared, 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:03.560 that's that'siculous. Don't be mad about that. You introde it 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:05.800 by saying it's not a big deal. You walked in 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:12.360 and you were like ead, like a Tyrannosaurus rex. No, 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:14.600 I'm pretty sure you'd made it seem like it was 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:16.640 an end of the world thing. And then when you're like, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:18.840 this is an end of the world thing, lah blah 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.240 blah blah, and I was like, Jared, that's ridiculous. So anyway, 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.320 so I got mad at that because I I told 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.240 that I just needed to get that off my chest, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.919 and she was just not that was not the reaction 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:31.560 I needed. So anyway, fast forward a couple of weeks. 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.760 I'm sorry I did not. I was not there for 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:35.680 you as a listening here. You did not have to 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.200 apologize for it. But fast forward, you did the exact 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:41.320 same thing to me, were you. I forget what you 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:46.680 vented about, but you it was the most miniscule, small problem, 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:48.440 but it just like piste you off in the moment. 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.159 So you just needed to get it off your chest, 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.359 and you did. And I remembered when I did the 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:56.880 exact same thing to you. I remember what your reaction was, 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.560 So in my awful brain, I was like, well, I'm 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.599 going to get heard the exact same reaction that she 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:03.360 gave me a couple of weeks ago, and I know 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:06.040 it's going to piss her off, So of course I did, 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:08.480 and I said, Ashley, why are you so mad at that? 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.960 And you were like, because I'm just I'm so mad. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.400 And then after and then I explained myself. I said, listen, 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.080 I only said that because this is what you did 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:16.600 to me a couple of weeks ago. And then you 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.480 got defensive and you started crying, and then it was 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.640 fine after that. But yeah, that was the most annoying 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:25.000 because I was like, I I feel guilty right now 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:27.720 because I made you sad, But I didn't. I was 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:32.280 just pointing out your hypocrisy. Okay, I know, I get it. Well, 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.760 you don't have to Okay, No, I know. I don't 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:37.640 feel like I'm sorry. I doub no, no, no, no, 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:40.840 you didn't have up. Yeah a little bit. No, I see, 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:42.800 I fed up because I should live in a more 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:46.080 understanding in the moment. It's not really it was av 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:47.800 I was just trying to It was a very small thing. 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:49.400 You had every right to be like, Jared, get over 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:53.440 it quickly anyway, that's our little uh. But seriously, you guys, like, 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.320 I know it sounds annoying, but Jared and I get 0:07:55.320 --> 0:08:00.280 along so well. Knock on, sure, we like we haven't 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.480 even bickered a lot lately. That's why I advocate everybody 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.640 being friends with someone before they get into a committed relationship, 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.560 because I firmly believe the reason that we're so happy 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.160 and we're in a very loving relationship is because we 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:16.240 have that foundation of friendship beforehand, so like we'd never 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.400 get in big arguments because you know how to handle me, 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.960 I know how to handle you. We we developed this 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:25.560 rapport um that has created such a strong foundation that 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:28.800 we built a relationship off that. I I that's that's 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:30.840 the strength of it right there. We didn't build a 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.800 relationship and then try to build a report and a 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:37.360 friendship afterwards. We built the friendship and the report and 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:39.440 then built a relationship on top of that. And I 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.480 know that we're very unique in that, and we got 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.280 very lucky. I got lucky because you, throughout the three 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:46.960 years of our friendship, could have easily have been like, 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.360 piss off, Jared, I don't want to talk to you anymore. 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:53.560 Uh Luckily you didn't do that. Thank you. Maybe uh so, 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.439 I don't know. There's just like an extension of myself. 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.559 I feel like there's nobody else in the house that's 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:05.160 great yeah, all right, okay, Well do you have any 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:08.640 stupid things to complain about though, like like about the apples? 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:12.480 And Jared's been falling asleep on the couch at like 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:15.440 eight thirty every night, Like granted there was a time change, 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.240 and then there was another time change for us because 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.120 we went from East Coast to Pacific Coast. So like 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.600 she's like four hours off. So I get him falling asleep, 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:26.760 but like, also I like to hang out with him. 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:29.280 I mean, falling asleep at eight thirty on the couch 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:33.040 is like, well, I do love falling asleep on the couch. 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:35.520 There's something so relaxing about it. But only when I'm 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.800 totally ready for bed. Teeth brush, face washed. If you're 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:41.200 not ready for bed, then it sucks. Yeah, but you 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.000 you fall asleep without getting ready for bed, I know 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.839 it sucks because then I get up And he used 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.440 to be moody. I used to be moodier because I 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:50.560 used to You've been very good about taking Lois out, 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:53.719 Like around ten if I fall asleep before I'd fall 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:56.040 asleep by the couch, I'd wake up. It's like eleven 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.480 thirty midnight, and I'm like, I gotta take loas out. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.760 I gotta rush my teeth, have to wash my face, 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.280 and then I have to get in bad. Occasionally I do. 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:07.560 I didn't want to admit fully that, like seven days 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:08.840 of the week, I don't watch my face at night. 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:10.959 I wash it. I take showers every day, all right, 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:13.160 So I think that if I take a shower every day, 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:15.679 I don't need to wash my face at night. I 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.640 don't watch it. I don't think we were made Yeah, 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:20.640 and it's makeup. That's a big difference right there. But 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:25.640 you know your nose pores would say otherwise anyway. All right, So, 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:28.480 like we said, we have many questions from you guys 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:30.800 that were gonna answer later on in the podcast. We 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.640 also have an email that we're going to talk about. 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.720 But first we have a very special guest that is 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.680 coming on the podcast with us. It is a relationship expert, 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.240 Lauren Francis. But before we talk to her, we're going 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:53.800 to take a very short break Welcome back to help 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.760 I suck at dating. Of course, Ashley is by my side, 0:10:57.120 --> 0:10:59.439 as she will be in life. But we have a 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.559 very special guest on the podcast right now. She is, 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:06.600 of course a love and relationship expert. She is the 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:11.040 author of the best selling book Dating, Mating, and Man Handling. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.200 Something you could probably relate to it is Lauren Francis. 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:19.160 Ladies and Gentlemen. Yeah, hey, I'm so happy to be here. 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:23.559 So extra calls you the man whisper. Tell me why 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:27.040 and can you help my single friends who just seemed 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:31.520 to go on day after day and have failure after failure. Yes, 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.080 that is my specialty. So yeah, so I wrote this book. 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.160 This book was just like completely organic. It was a 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.840 bunch of field notes that I wrote down for my 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:41.800 girlfriends who kept calling me in the middle of the 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:46.000 night and annoying me, and my boyfriend not calling me. 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.600 Just here you go. And then I wrote this book. 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:52.079 I wrote it all down and then it got published 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.400 and now people can read it. But yeah, I taught 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.800 I teach women how to be what I call proactive 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.760 in their love life, creates self esteeming relationships, and then 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.480 also help men, you know, be more happy inside of 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.520 their relationships. Well, how what do you think the number 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.160 one blunder is for people going on you know, those 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.439 first couple of days. I'd say like one dates one 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:17.440 through three when you're just kind of feeling out whether 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.760 you wanted to lead to a relationship. Okay, So well, 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:24.040 a lot of people right now are dating online. So 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:27.360 it became like an expert in dating and cyberspace. So 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:28.679 I have a lot of tips about that if you 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.280 want to talk about dating apps and all of that. 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.520 But you know, the big the big mistake that most there, Well, 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.240 there's a mistake that men make, but there's also mistakes 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:41.000 that women make, and so I think the mistakes for women. Right, 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.400 for your girlfriends, so you can give them a homae 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:48.240 hook up? Is uh that you know, first of all, 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:53.000 they're going on unqualified dates. So I feel like what 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.839 does that mean I'm qualified? Like the men unqualified? Or yeah? 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:58.800 Is it because like they're going on like kind of 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:03.480 blind dates. Yeah, they're getting you know, chronic dating fatigue, right, 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.440 they're getting you know, it's like romantic a d D. 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.560 So if you the first thing, like if you're dating 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.559 online right or dating on dating apps, I always tell 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.439 people to put what they want in their app in 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.000 their dating app. So if you want to get married, 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:19.319 put it in there. If you a great family, put 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.360 it in there. If you're just going for a hook up, 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.880 put it in there, and then people will swipe right. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.240 It's like shopping on Amazon or you know the giant 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.640 catalog in the sky, right, So you want to just 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:33.480 be clear about what you are, what your romantic intentions are. 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:38.240 And then I always suggest talking to men or having 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:41.400 men talked to women on the phone first, because it 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.000 gets it just cuts to the crap. Well, it's just 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:45.840 like the amount of times you hear on these dating apps, 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:47.760 like guys and girls just talking back and forth, like 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.360 if I had a nickel for every time. One of 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.760 Ashley's friends is like this guy, he d ms me 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.880 all the time on the dating app, but he never 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:55.320 wants to talk to me on the phone call. He 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:57.400 never planned dates. It's always just like going back and 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:01.439 forth dates. Yeah, no, you just like cut that. You 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.000 just like literally, uh you know, you just say no. 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:07.080 Do you think that Do you think technology has helped 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:10.120 or hurt dating? Oh? I think it's like the wild West. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:13.160 I think it's millions of people at your fingertips, but 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.800 then there's also millions of people and you at your fingertips. 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.959 So learning how to sort and sipped through. It's like 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.200 when you're shopping on Amazon, like, right, what's the best deal? 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.840 Like what we wish we had Google reviews like, you know, 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:28.240 what are Amazon reviews for? You know, love? But that 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:32.960 being said, the biggest mistake women make is that there 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.960 women hate to hear this. The first date really is 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.480 for men to kind of show off. So I get 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.720 a lot of complaints that women are saying, oh, all 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.160 he did was talking about himself. He was so conceited. 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.080 Has that happened to you. I'm just glad that you're 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:51.360 saying that. I know people can be like interpreting this 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.120 as sexist, but I do think that the guy should 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:58.560 probably like lead the first date and ask the girl 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:02.360 more questions about her self. Did I lead the first date? Jared? 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.400 Our first date was not at all, like I know, like, 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.200 what was our first date? What are you talking about? 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.600 The doom Boggie doom boggy? Yeah, I feel like I 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:14.760 love that. I feel like you probably did. Yeah, he 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:19.600 was driving exactly, he was driving and metaphor, no, I 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:22.000 feel like metaphorically you're I was trying to be as 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:23.920 as possible. No, I know I was driving to doo 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:27.640 Boggie anyway. Sure, so basics, but on a lot of 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.040 first dates, a lot of guys will like, you know, 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.520 kind of show off. The peacock They want to kind 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.880 of just know that you like them, so they'll tell 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.240 you all the things about themselves that are awesome. Plus 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:41.240 they're nervous. They're nervous, but they're also like used car salesmen, right, 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.280 so they know how many recks they've been at, many 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:46.600 miles they've had to turn off, you know, roll off 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:50.080 the odometer, right in terms of their age. So I 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.560 think the thing that most women don't do well is 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.960 they don't know how to see men and understand that 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.720 you know their peacocking and that they just need to 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.040 be complimented. You don't have to date them again. You 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:04.880 just need to kind of stroke their feathers and go, 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.800 oh my god, that's awesome. Tell me more, right, and 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.760 then it'll turn around. The focus will turn around on 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.080 you the next time. But usually have the most for 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:18.960 the most part, on first dates, men are super nervous, 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.280 and I feel like women are nervous too. I think 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:25.960 the thing is men are just far more unwilling to 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.600 admit they're nervous. Does that make sense? Like I feel like, 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.720 you know, for example, me and Ashley, Ashley is way 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:37.040 more uh willing to be transparent apparent about her nerves 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.480 were like, as a guy, I want to make it 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:43.280 seem that I'm not scared or nervous, even though inside 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.400 my heart is beating a million miles per hour. You're 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:49.120 like just a little a little jello, like a duck 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.200 on the mine. Do you ever heard that reference? What 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.400 a duck on the pond? You know, how duck on 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.040 the surface of the water is very looks still, but 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.200 underneath the feet are going a mile a minute. I don't, 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.800 it's exactly. Yeah. So I feel like women misinterpret, you know, 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:05.520 when men are kind of showing off, you know, we're 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.920 talking a lot about themselves, and I think they often 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.360 think that men don't like them or they're really conceited. 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:14.240 But I just think that's how men deal with first 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:18.480 aid jitters, and I think women often didn't get really 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:23.600 silent and get really annoyed that men aren't asking about them. 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:28.000 Did you find that with true? So? I? Yeah, um, 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:33.120 I don't honestly have any personal details. Yeah, I don't remember. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:37.359 But my I'd say that people enjoy it when the 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.680 men ask lots of questions. My question, Lauren, is, so, say, 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:43.200 like a girl goes on a date with a guy 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.960 and the guy's only talking about himself. He's doing exactly 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:49.080 what you're describing. He's peacocking. He's not asking questions about her. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:50.400 Do you write them off or not? Do you write 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:51.680 them off after the first date? Or do you give 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:55.320 him another shot? No, I would actually ask some proactive questions. 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.480 I would just say, oh my god, you're that's fascinating, 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.159 I would, and I would say I I often I 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.679 haven't feel like the most important thing in relationships or 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:04.720 do people want the same things at the same time? 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:08.639 Do you have the same relationship goals? But even deeper 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:12.160 than that. I really feel like it's important to understand 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:15.040 what you already know all about you as a woman. 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:17.960 So women often will share a lot about their problems 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.280 right or their negative dating experience. I think that's true 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.760 about men and women. They don't get you know, if 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:27.360 you're not happy, it's very hard for people to want 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:31.520 to connect. People want to be with people that are happy, right, 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:33.879 and especially during the pandemic, there's like a lot of 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:37.080 complaining that's happening on first dates. Um, I can only 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.840 imagine about what there's so much shock about. And the 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:44.160 political the political thing right now is so intense, So 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.320 I feel like I feel like it's important to just 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.239 know what it is that you want to create and 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.320 then see if the person that you're sitting next to 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:55.160 somebody you can see that potential with. So, I think 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.760 a good first date question, you know, to ask a 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:00.840 dude is to say, you, so, what is it that 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:04.880 you're the most passionate about creating? That's a very deep question, 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:08.680 most about Yeah, and then that just drops you in 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:12.000 and you're having like a more heartfelt conversation instead of 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.800 just all like the chatter that normally happens. And the 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:20.320 reason why that's super important is because as a woman, 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.879 you can't change the thing that a man is the 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.280 most passionate about. Yeah, that's a good first question or 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:27.560 not first first aid question? Wait, what do you mean 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:29.240 as as a woman, you can't change what a man 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:32.080 is passionate about? Like, what would you say? The most 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:35.360 important thing to you is what the thing that you 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:39.800 want to create? What I want to create? Yeah? For yourself, 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:42.679 what are you the most passionate about? Oh Jesus, Uh, 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.560 that's a great question. I am very passionate about the 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:53.760 pace it's specifically Tom Brady, Uh, Like, what do you 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:56.760 feel like yours is? Oh? God, that's what you're still 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:58.439 trying to figure out you know, are we all just 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:02.760 trying to find that out? Uh? My purpose, I guess 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:07.600 my purpose. Um, this is gonna sound really stupid, but 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.760 but I feel like my purpose in life is to 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:15.639 uh uh, this gonna sounds so stupid, getting a body boner. 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:18.720 I'm getting excited about to say something so meaningful. Well, 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:23.959 I was gonna say, like, uh, be like the glue 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:28.159 to my family. I that's one of the things that 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:30.440