WEBVTT - Million Dollar Scrubbing with Tracy Tutor 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:03.720 Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Ren and I 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:10.000 Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. In 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:13.560 today's episode, we have a very special guests, our first 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:18.479 in studio guests. I was like, I'm coming in. It's 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:21.360 so much better and I am obsessed with you. This 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.520 is the voice of Tracy Tutor. Everybody that is listening 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:27.760 and doesn't know. Um, I'm like coming off of this 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.960 high from Rihanna's super Bowl performance because I just feel 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:34.159 like she showed us, she showed us that you can 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:35.920 really do it all and have it all at the 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:37.640 same time. And I feel like you're the perfect guest 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.040 to have this week because I feel the same energy 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.400 from you. I feel like you are such a badass 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.560 in the workspace. I feel like you're constantly reinventing yourself 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.600 in different ways. You are an author, you are like 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:52.319 crushing it in your career, you have a relationship, you're 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.600 a mom, You're doing all these things and you're doing 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:56.840 it so well. And so I'm really excited to have 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.920 Tracy Tutor on with us because you're just all thing 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.200 this modern woman energy. Thank you. I'm so excited to 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:04.919 be here. I haven't seen you in a long time, 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.280 and it's so nice to meet you. I know, we 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:10.400 well we were talking about this before you came in. 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:15.280 You were um helping hand for Tanya while she was 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.960 going through what we call the trigger of it and 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:21.000 her breakup UM, and I remember there was she was 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.160 just like she took me under her wing. There was 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:26.640 like a like a sisterhood bond there of you just 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.240 like totally helping her navigate it. Well, I remember when 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.280 you came over to my house and we were having 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:33.640 like a glass of wine in the backyard with Haley 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.679 and like a couple of other friends. And obviously I 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:38.679 had gone through the divorce and I was at that 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:42.080 time probably three years out of it, out of it. 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.240 I was like finally like on my two feet again. 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.680 I had been dating, and I was like, girl, you 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:51.600 got this, you can like you need to be out there. 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.840 And then apparently you got set up. So two of 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.480 your friends that were outso at your house that night. Yes, 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.280 we know this guy. He's really great. He doesn't live here, 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:02.120 but we want him to move da dada. So they 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:04.240 were like showed me his Instagram and I was like, okay, cute. 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.560 So we started like dm ng on Instagram and this 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:11.680 guy we ended up scheduling like a Zoom day because 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.440 it was I think still kind of quarantine e at times. 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:15.800 But also he didn't live in l A. So it 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:17.400 was like a zoom day, Like we were like going 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:20.320 to have a drink on zoom together. Oh those were 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.640 the days. Then this was like my only date that 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:25.640 I went on when I was single. But it was 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.320 so funny because he basically spent the entire I think 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:31.280 we talked about an hour and a half. He talked 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.600 about his hex girlfriend and like kind of why he 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:36.799 was single and what happened in his relationship, and then 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:39.760 I was talking about Robbie and my breakup and what 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:41.679 all went down there. So we basically spent the entire 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:46.960 date talking about our exes. It's great cut to cut 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.040 to a year and a half later. I still follow 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.440 him on Instagram. He got back together with that girl. 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:55.840 They're engaged, Oh my god, and like fully so happy 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.200 and he we both message each other now, like and 0:02:58.360 --> 0:02:59.920 when I remember when when Robbie I got back to 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:01.560 he was like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:03.919 got back together with your guy. You guys look so happy, 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.600 And I was like, how funny that we both ended 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:10.240 up back with our you know, like that that telltale 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:12.320 sign of like the first date, when you spend the 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.839 entire first date talking about your axes. It's not really 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:18.080 a strong indicator that you guys are very each other. No, 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:19.880 we were not for each other, but I just want 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.760 it to be such a funny, funny and I still 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:25.919 found like, at what point do I unfollow this guy? Like, yeah, 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.040 I don't know if you're going to run into some date. 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:32.160 It's not like you had like no no connectionever. Yeah 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.880 that's okay. Yeah, but I do feel like this this 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:38.760 connection to you because I really do feel like I 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:40.640 was going through really tough time and I really felt 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:42.400 like you extended your hand and we were total strangers 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:44.360 and you were so lovely and kind and wonderful, and 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:46.360 so I just love you came into my house and 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:49.680 your energy was very similar even though you were going 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.240 through a totally difficult time. I don't know, I just 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.920 feel like that sisterhood of when you're going through a breakup, 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.480 Like the most important thing is that your friends and 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.280 girls rally behind in jail. I feel like that's the 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:05.440 way I got through my divorce. I can't even fathom 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:09.680 not having my girlfriends and my gaze, you know, around 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.440 me during that time because and so I always whenever 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.480 I know a girlfriend of mine or someone's going through 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.159 something like that, I'm like, do we need to go 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.040 have a glass of wine? Where are we having lunch? 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:20.640 Sunday morning? We're going for a walk. Let's get out 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:23.840 of it now. Yeah. I wanted to talk to you 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.279 about this because I had listened to an interview I 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.240 think it was on a UM like Serious XIM. I 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:30.000 don't know if it's a podcast or radio show, but 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.279 this was I think in October of last year. But 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:36.800 you're talking about your divorce and UM on Monday's episode 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:41.240 last week. We were talking about how men get so 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.560 comfortable or get such an ego that they're with these 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:49.600 incredible women and they feel comfortable enough to cheat. UM. 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:52.040 And I didn't know if you were comfortable talking about it, 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:54.920 but I was listening to how Jeff lewis yeah yeah, 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.200 yeah yeah. And and Jeff's a friend of mine, and 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.960 we had had drinks and before and we were chatting, 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.279 and of course it came up and he was like, 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.000 would you be okay talking about it? I go you 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.400 know what, I've never really spoken about it before, and 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.200 I finally feel like I'm on the other side of 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.320 it where I can like impart some wisdom and not 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:17.880 just like vicious hate because I went through all those spaces, 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:21.320 you know, so um, yeah, I'm comfortable talking about it. 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.600 So yeah, we were. We were just talking about the 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.240 fact that there's men and I don't know anything about 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:29.159 your ex, but knowing that, knowing just what I know 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:32.480 about you and the boss that you are, You're successful, 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:36.760 you're studying, like you have what your a ten out 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.560 of ten? And I don't know your ex, but the 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:44.040 fact that he even felt comfortable enough to cheat in 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.600 front of people, knowing that there was a chance that 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.520 could get back to you. What is it? Is it? Ego? 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:51.920 What is that? Like? What do you gather from that? 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.760 You know? I mean, I think, listen, we had been 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:58.080 together for by the time we got divorced, seventeen and 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:01.400 a half years and a lot of growth to kids, 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:05.640 a career, a TV show, him, you know, him changing 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:07.800 careers as well as like, I think there's a part 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:11.440 of us that grew apart, you know, probably five years 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:14.120 prior to that happening, and you know, you push through 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.800 and you're committed to the marriage and and that's something 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:18.279 that you sort of stick with it. But at the 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:23.640 same time, I wasn't acknowledging neither was he, that we 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.920 were both just in this lull. And the lull eventually 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:32.160 turned into you know, him wanting connection and really you know, 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.760 approval from other women. And it started with you know, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.760 sometimes conversations with women and I'd be like, why are 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.560 you talking to that person? And a lot but like 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:45.960 no physical connection. Um. But he he really required that 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:50.840 like constant approval, and I wasn't giving it to him anymore. 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.080 I was, you know, I was sort of one foot 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:56.880 out and so that's you know, the affair happened. I 0:06:56.880 --> 0:07:00.640 don't blame myself for it. I think, you know, initially Lee, 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.119 he kind of did you know that was that's always 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.160 the excuse. Well you wouldn't, you know, you weren't giving 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.039 me what I needed, so I went elsewhere, which is 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:10.280 such a cop out. Um. You know, there's a little 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.640 ego involved as well. I think being successful and being 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.960 financially completely free from him, I didn't rely on him 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:20.720 for anything, so I was able to make my own decisions. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:22.880 I think that made him feel less and less in control, 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:28.240 which traditionally in relationships, you know, it's the other way around. 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:31.920 I mean it's callused bad spade, wage gap, whatever it is. 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:36.200 More often than not, the man can make more money 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.640 and be more successful or maybe further along in their career. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.480 And in this case, it was the flip, which I 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:43.280 think was you know a little bit. It's it's a 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.000 shock to the ego and it's something that I have 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:50.240 dealt with even post marriage, you know, dating. I feel 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.720 like that's an interesting it isn't interesting dynamic because I 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.680 do think as much as again we hate it and 0:07:56.720 --> 0:07:59.040 we want to say that it doesn't it's not an 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:04.040 affecting actor. It really is. Oh absolutely, Like I had 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:07.080 dated a few different guys before being in the current 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.720 relationship you know that I was in and I was 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.960 finding kind of the same problem. And I think what 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.520 I found in my relationship now with Eric is it 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:20.400 was something younger and freer about you know, he grew 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:23.880 up in a different generation, so you know, someone in 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:27.440 their late twenties or early thirties, which tended to be 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:29.920 the direction that my dating life was going at the time. 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.160 I started to realize, like, why is that happening, Like 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:36.160 why are younger men more attractive? And one might say, oh, 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.960 because she has money, or you know, he's uh, you 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:42.000 know that type of guy or whatever, And and the 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.520 fact of the matter was, even the younger guys that 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:48.360 I had been dating prior to Eric, we're successful, you know, 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:52.959 early thirties, you know, made plenty of money. But there's 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:56.440 something different about the men of his generation and the 0:08:56.520 --> 0:09:00.640 men that are of my generation. It's a lot, a 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.480 lot tougher pale for them to swallow. And even Eric, 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.720 I think, from time to time struggles with it, you know, 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:10.520 like he's a co star or a guest appearance, right, 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:14.360 Like it's not it doesn't always feel equal, and I've 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:18.960 had to really examine that and not tow myself down. 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:23.400 But in a way also sort of contribute to them feeling. 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:27.120 The men in my life feeling, you know, like they 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.719 add value in many ways, like you have to kind 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:33.680 of overcompensate, which is not something a man is used 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:37.400 to doing, but as a successful woman in business, like 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.560 I feel like that's something that I do still to 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:44.199 this day. It's so you're it's so crazy to me 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:46.400 because I also feel like you're in you are in 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:51.600 like a male dominated working world. Were you always this 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:56.240 confident in your working world as you are now? I mean, listen, 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.400 I felt on my face so many times, and I 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.800 think I learned to be confident by virtue of just 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:04.680 continuing to get up and keep going. Um. I think 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:08.200 that that fear that we all have is we're scared 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:14.360 of the Yeah, on Amazon, we'll talk about the book, No, 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.640 but I think that that's such a big part of 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.800 it that we're you know, so terrified of, like the 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:21.240 falling down piece that we can't get out of our 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.920 own way. And I think what makes a woman confident 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:27.720 is how many times she's fallen down, gotten back up 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:35.360 and become successful again. So you know, obviously I'm forty seven. Um, 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.680 I didn't learn it overnight. Um. But that's kind of 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.320 why I wrote the book, because I wanted I wanted 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:45.840 to speak to actually younger women about that path, because 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:48.720 I think so many women come out of college and 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.400 you know, you know, we all grew up with this 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.679 traditional ideology that like maybe you meet the love of 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:57.440 your life in college and you'll you know, have the 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.240 white picket fence and like a beautiful little traditional house 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.520 with two kids in private school and then maybe you'll 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:04.520 retire and be a stay at home mom and all 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:07.360 these things, which is a beautiful thing, but it's not 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.559 the only way, right And and you know, I think 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:14.480 breaking away from those patterns and and young like twenty 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:17.320 something women having a woman to look up to that's 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.040 maybe twenty years their senior, but they actually relate to 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:24.000 um is something I didn't have. I feel like, so 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:25.920 the book she's talking about, it's called Fears, just a 0:11:25.920 --> 0:11:28.800 four letter word, and I feel like your book, to me, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.800 it felt like some like you were writing to your 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.560 younger self something that you wish you would have known prior. 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:36.440 And I think to me, those types of books are 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:40.960 so valuable because we all, especially as women, like we 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.600 learn from each other, you know, like we've all gone 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.200 through different things. And if you can just learn one 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:48.600 thing from somebody else, you can teach somebody so they 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.599 don't make the same mistake or maybe don't go or 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.360 don't feel as alone going through these certain things. It's 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:55.439 such a blessing. So if you do want to get 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.560 her book, you can get an Amazon or anywhere a 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:05.199 major book retailer. Yeah. Fellow author over here, Yeah. Gratulations 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.480 on that, but so happy for you. Writing a book 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:10.920 is wild. It's a it's a I had no idea 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.480 what I was up agains, you know, like I, first 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:16.360 of all not a great writer, and I was like, 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.640 we're gonna have to do this like my way. It's 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.640 going to be a little bit more conversational than you know, 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:24.199 my daughter writes something and I'm like, wow, you're talented, 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:27.280 you know, but I you know, I was a theater 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:30.200 major for crying out loud. So but it turned out 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.560 for the best because I think it's totally my voice 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.800 and and you know, it obviously spoke to like a 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:38.880 younger generation of women. And and that's the thing right now, 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.719 is I feel like on social media and like that's 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.800 why I love what you guys do and your show, 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:46.640 and how like supportive of women you are and how 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:51.040 light and bright and positive you are, because so much 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:54.800 of what we're talking about, half the haters and half 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.679 the people that keep us down or other women, it's 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:02.040 not it's not just men like like that that the 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.600 ideologies I was talking about earlier, and these traditions and 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:08.400 the way we're supposed to do it. You know, there's 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.360 a lot of women that are still sort of stuck 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:14.240 in that you know, mindset, and I feel like it 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.160 just makes me want to Like the more hate I 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.200 get or the more you should wear this or you 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.640 should wear that, the more I want to wear it 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:22.360 because I'm like, I'm going to continue to do this 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:25.480 until you realize that I can be a boss in 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.440 real estate, I can be on a TV show, I 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.200 can be sexy. I can also be a mom, you know, 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.400 like why do we have to be defined? And why 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:37.440 do women not want to elevate? Like it's it's beyond me. 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.600 I sometimes get in these dm like back and force 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:44.920 with women, like like you've got to really consider, like 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:49.600 why you're coming from this place, like your own insecurity 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.800 issues clearly to me Sometimes like when I get a 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:58.079 negative methode or comment from a man, I'm literally unbothered 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.160 by it, But when it comes from another woman, I'm like, wait, 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.520 a sect totally, we're not supposed to do this to 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:06.120 each other, Like we're not supposed to. And also like 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.880 because you're right now for a million dollar listening l A, 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:13.240 you're like the girl you're holding it down, and I 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.320 just think it's so like I don't know, just to me, 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.360 I look at you, and I just I'm so inspired 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:19.560 and motivated by you, and so I feel like it 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:23.080 makes me sad that you get attacked for certain things. Well, 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.240 I it's almost like and I used to take it 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.320 a lot more seriously. The only time I get actually 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:30.200 upset by it is when it has anything to do 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:35.960 with my kids. But candidly, I need to do it 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.960 more like it makes me like people are like, oh, 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:43.280 you know, we're dressed appropriately or stop getting plastic surgery 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.400 or whatever the hell people want to say. And when 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.920 it comes from a woman, I just want to like 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:55.160 be even more authentic online and tell people what I've 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.760 done and say and you know, yeah I do. I 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.240 work out. I worked out hour and forty five minutes 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.280 this morning. I didn't have surgery to get the body 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.160 that I have, right, Like, I'm forty seven. I worked really, 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:10.280 really hard. I'm not as It just makes me want 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.160 to be more transparent and work my ass off at 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.240 the same time so that I can sort of dispel 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:19.480 more of this idea that we have to be like 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:24.320 men or conservative to be successful in business. It's just nonsense. 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:41.920 You know you have two daughters, right do I have 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.680 a seventeen year old Juliette and a fourteen year old 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:48.280 named Scarlett. What is it like parenting two girls with 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:53.000 the TikTok world? And like, what's it's so different than 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.080 it was even for us, like when we were in 0:15:56.200 --> 0:16:01.280 high school. I mean, both my girls are on social media, 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.760 of course, but I don't so much have a problem 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.360 with the TikTok. It's the snapchat that I'm like, well, 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:10.480 what's happening on Snapchat? Like they send the snaps and 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.280 then they go away where the TikTok lives. You know, 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.560 they're pretty transparent on social media. They don't post a ton. 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:23.480 They're like of that younger generation. They're like Instagram's like done, 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:29.000 you know, they're like the slame you know, but um, 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.320 they scroll. I just I try to get them to 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:36.560 be both busy. So I think when they're busy, they're 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:41.080 on it less and they're more engaging. Um, you know. 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.800 I just feel like social media really screws with our 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.080 ability to like connect with people. And so luckily, I 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:50.040 think because I've they have busy schedules that when they 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.160 sit down in their room and they don't come out 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:54.640 for three hours, and I'm like, what's going on in there? 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.920 Like I know, like being a teenager, you want to 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.040 be in your bed a lot, but like if it 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:00.440 makes you feel any better, I can sit on my 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:07.040 phone on TikTok and scroll for three hours. Are still developing, 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:13.480 you know, like they're not five yet, that full frontal 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:16.920 lobe situation and men too, like Eric's twenty eight and 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:20.560 I'm like this, this whole social media thing is really 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:25.760 going to screw you up, Like you just finished this 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.760 is this could be bad. It is true though, like 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:32.159 between social media and then also with the pandemic, it 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.840 was like we kind of lost ability like how to 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:37.000 connect with people face to face of like how to 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:40.280 have conversations, how to ask questions about someone else and 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.240 learn about people's interests. We kind of just like we're 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:48.480 relying on the screen to occupy that space. Luckily, I 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:51.879 they I've seen a lot worse. And like I said, 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:57.320 like my daughter, my little one, she rides horses all 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:58.760 the time. Like if she could quit school and just 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.960 ride full time, she would, but because she's so engaged 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:04.280 in that, it kind of keeps her away from it, 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.919 and she's like doing I think there's a balance, you know, 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.480 it's like you can't take it fully away, they exist 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:13.199 in it. I have family friends and parents that are like, 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.040 I'm not going to let my kid on it, and 0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:19.200 that you know they're eventually going there no matter what. 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.480 And so it's just about finding a balance, I think. 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:25.840 And you'd rather than feel comfortable to be able to 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.119 use it and be open with you than hundred speaking 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:31.640 it around if you take it away. Yeah, And they're 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:33.880 kind of at the age where at this point all 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:37.359 the kids are on it, but um, they have some 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.159 pretty decent boundaries around. It's so cool to have like 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:42.560 you as a mom, because I feel like, do you 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:45.160 instill the way that you treat your life in your 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:48.280 career in the in them as well? A you know, 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.200 in the last couple of years, I think post COVID 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:53.560 working from home as much as I was during that 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.080 and I was promoting the book at that time and 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.080 doing a lot of Zoom interviews, and the kids were 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:01.320 home and so they were seeing you work a lot more, 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:06.440 and I think kind of grew a little bit of 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:09.600 a better understanding of what I do and what and 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:13.040 how hard I work, and in turn like had a 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.520 lot more respect for me, I think as like a 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.800 working mom, And so they get I mean, my older 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:22.919 one gets uber defense in defense of me, like on 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:24.600 social media, should be like you don't know what you're 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.919 but she says it like with the most eloquent voice 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:32.440 that like the trolls are like gone, They're like, we're 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:37.400 so sorry Julia because she's just you know, she has 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.679 the ability. But you know, I was really strict with 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:42.359 them when they were young. Um. You know, I taught 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:45.040 them right from wrong. I taught them manners. They look 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:48.560 people in the eye when they speak to them. Um. 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.080 And now they've just developed into these like little mini feminists, 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.879 but like the right kind of feminists, you know, not 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:59.280 like the judge feminists. Um. And so it's great. They're 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:02.920 like flourished ng And I mean, I'm like, they make 0:20:02.960 --> 0:20:06.399 me so proud. I can't even stand it. I know 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:10.320 that Jeff Lewis interview, you talked about the relationship between 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:20.000 you and I guess their step mom. Now, Oh oh yes, um, 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:23.720 my ex husband's new wife, Amanda. So yeah, we've had, 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:28.240 you know, a roller coaster of a time, um, getting 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:30.560 to like where we are today. But the amazing thing 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:35.040 about it is I looked at her a couple of 0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:37.560 weekends ago, or actually I guess it was. That was 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:39.600 a couple of weeks end of January. We had dinner 0:20:40.119 --> 0:20:41.840 and I go, you know, it's so crazy, Like in 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:46.760 another life, I think we would have been like friends 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:51.280 outside of this. Like now we are and we're in 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.600 this sort of scenario together where she's married to my 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:58.600 ex husband is really good to my girls, and you know, 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:01.159 we've wrapped our head around that and we're like in 0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:05.719 a really mature, like healthy, good place, um, which I 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:07.840 think is like the greatest story to tell, which I 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:09.520 had to explain to my ex husband because he sat 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:13.760 me down after the Jeff Lewis thing, so he's gonna 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:15.880 be like, you did it again, you know, But but 0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:19.520 the truth is, I was like, you know, I'm less 0:21:19.560 --> 0:21:22.720 worried about talking about what happened in our marriage and 0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:26.280