WEBVTT - No-No Square 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:06.320 Hello everybody. Hi, Hi, you're listening to Dear Chelsea. I'm Chelsea, 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:10.040 and oh oh wait, before we get started, I want 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.360 to talk about this book that my friend wrote. Her 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:15.480 name is Shelley to Gilski. I think that's how you 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.040 pronounced her last name, but quite honestly, I don't know 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:21.319 if I'm pronouncing it right. Anyway, she wrote this new book, 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:23.639 and I wrote the foreward for the book, and I 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:25.360 just got done reading the book so that I could 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:27.319 write the foreward for the book. And I just have 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:29.400 to say that it's I'm going to have her honest 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:33.120 soon as we can, because this is the person who 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:37.919 for me made meditation cool and made mindfulness cool, and like, 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:40.879 she drinks and she has fun and she laughs and 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.479 she's like she's not a serious meditation person. She's like 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.680 a fun, vibrant meditation person. And she's the one who 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.040 kind of turned me on too, understanding that, oh, there's 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:52.440 more than one group of people who meditate. There's a 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:55.600 whole panoply. So I'm really excited for you guys to 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.120 read her book. Be I'll have her on the podcast 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:02.200 soon and we can talk about our friendship. And she's 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.080 the one who started the pandemic of love. So this 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:09.559 organization that I've mentioned on this podcast on separate occasions, 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:12.720 and what she does is she matches a donor, and 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.800 she matches somebody in need, and she puts you in 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.120 touch so somebody will agree to, you know, help you 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.360 with your rent for six months and then you have 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:24.040 a direct line of communication with them. And she's helped 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:28.400 give over like fifty four million dollars during this pandemic 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:32.920 of financial transactions between people helping people, And it's so important. 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:36.520 It's all about just community and being there for your community, 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:38.640 and like, how are you going to show up in 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:41.399 your small way to make the small ripple effect in 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:45.319 your small life to have it ripple to bigger, bigger, 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:48.040 bigger ponds, Like how do we all do that? And 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:52.880 it just takes everybody being actively engaged with their community, 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.080 with their neighbors, kind of like it was in the 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:57.200 olden days, so that when somebody's falling, you're there to 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:59.200 pick them up, and when you're falling, they're there to 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.440 pick you up. So it was really profound and I 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:04.640 was a good reminder for me to read that book. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:06.440 So it's called Sit Down to Rise Up. I don't 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.000 think it's out yet, but it will be coming out. 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.520 And if you want to be supportive of Pandemic of Love, 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.400 you can go to Pandemic of Love dot com and 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:17.560 sign up, register to be a donor, or register if 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:22.040 you're in need. And on that note, I'm already exhausted 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:25.680 from talking. What do we do now, Brandon? Today's episode 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:29.520 are all about bodies and sets to your favorite topics. Oh, okay, 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:33.200 is about body dysmorphia or not necessarily body morphia, just 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:37.519 about our anatomy? Okay, great, I'm a biologist. Well, and 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.840 let's get into the first submission. It comes from Kimberly 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:44.639 from Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne. She's thirty eight. 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:46.680 She writes, Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty eight year old 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.600 lesbian from Melbourne, Australia, and I'm thirty eight weeks pregnant. 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:53.040 I'm pretty happy about it, as it took some effort 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.440 to get here, but as now I'm considered full term, 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.880 I find myself suddenly wondering how it's anatomically possible for 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.520 this thing to come out of my huha without causing 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.720 some kind of irreparable damage on both my mental and 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:08.000 physical health. Why do women do this? Do you have 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:10.600 any tips or advice on how to prepare for labor 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:17.560 and birth? She came to the right place. I have 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.760 any tips on how to prepare for labor. Yeah, don't 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.760 get pregnant. It's too late for you. I don't like 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.519 when people speak in weeks. As soon as they become pregnant, 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.120 they start talking about weeks in pregnant. What about when 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.520 they have the baby? And then it's like, I know, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:37.320 I know, I know, don't It's so annoying. But anyway, 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:40.080 thirty eight weeks is what four into thirty eight is 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:43.640 almost she's eight months pregnant. Okay, eight months pregnant. Well, 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.560 the good news is is that people have been having 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:50.520 babies since the beginning of time. So while you may 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.720 feel like it's going to cause irreparable damage, I would 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:56.400 argue that you are panicking at the last stage of 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.760 your pregnancy, because that's probably what women do to once 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.280 they realize that a person is going to come out 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:07.400 of your Pikachu. It is a hard reckoning. It is 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.000 hard to think about that. But what you can use 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:14.200 to assuase your fears is the knowledge that this is 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:18.200 happening every day to millions of people. I mean, how 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:22.160 many babies are born a day? Yeah, I look that up. 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:25.200 I mean, you're in a big city with a real 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:29.839 hospital and people who have tons of experience laboring and 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:33.840 delivering babies. So I don't think you have a lot 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.960 to worry about except for your personal fears. And I 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:38.680 think you just have to kind of come to Jesus 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.000 with the idea that like, this is what becoming a 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.480 parent feels like. It's scary, and you're gonna be scared 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:46.880 after the baby is born at certain times. You're gonna 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:49.839 be scared during certain parts of their childhood. But the 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.440 important thing is that you're almost done. So that's a 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:54.799 victory in and of itself. And when you are done, 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.680 if anything happens to your Pikachu, they can fix that. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.160 You can tell them in advance that you want them 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.200 to fix that. What's going to happen to you mentally, 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:05.400 You're going to go through so many different emotions and 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:10.880 hormonal incitements that it's going to be a very, very 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:14.159 probably blurry time being a new mother for the first time. 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.760 So how many babies are born every day? Approximately three 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:21.599 hundred according to the u n. That's a hundred and 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.200 forty million a year. That's too many. That is too 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:29.200 many people. Wow, that's so scary. A hundred and forty 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:32.480 million people a year are born. It's a lot of 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:35.040 people who shouldn't be having babies. Well, but let's focus 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.440 on the fact that this woman is having a baby. 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:42.440 She is and that's that's a glorious decision that you 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.800 made your lesbian right, So she you actually worked very 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.320 hard to figure this out. So you're in a great 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.000 position and you should be enjoying it. And if you 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:55.960 have moments of doubt and insecurity, that's normal. Well, and 0:05:56.000 --> 0:06:00.000 I do think again, meditation just too mentally prepare for yeah, 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:05.040 for your integrating with the baby, and prepare yourself emotionally. 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.039 That's a great idea. I'm sure there's pregnancy meditations if 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:12.240 you look on Calm or headspace or Chopra, any of 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:14.920 those apps offer all those kinds of meditations. But you 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:18.719 should really start to get real focused on the labor 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:22.240 and delivery and know that you're gonna succeed and prevail 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.640 and it's all gonna work out and you're gonna be fine. 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:28.080 Because we're living in the year. So you know the 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.239 days of you going to the hospital having a baby 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:32.840 and something terrible happened. You know, that's not the way 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:35.839 we live in society these days. Just harness that strength 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:38.120 that you have. Yeah, you're a mama bear. You're a 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:40.560 mama bear. You gotta be strong for you and your 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.559 Oh that's exciting to have a baby if you're someone 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:49.360 other than me, Kimberly. Problem solved. Kimberly, thanks for calling 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:52.080 or writing and and good luck. Send us a picture 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.320 of you and your baby. Okay, we're gonna take a 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.760 quick break right now and we'll be right back with 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:03.280 more calls and calls and just love. Okay, I think 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.440 we need to get her some straight up birthing advice, 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:08.400 since neither of us can do that. Obviously, we're gonna 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:10.440 get my friend Carson Meyer on the phone. So this 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.600 is very exciting for me because I know Carson, but 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.080 I had no idea she was a dula. And this 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:17.440 is somebody who's going to talk to us about what 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:20.360 actually happens when you give birth. So to the woman 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.960 we just spoke to, and to all women out there 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:30.000 who are scared shitless of childbirth, count me in. Carson 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:34.800 is going to help us demystify I guess the entire situation. 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:39.000 Hi Carson, Hi, Oh my god, I love you. You 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:42.320 know what You're just what an adorable? I can't believe 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:45.480 you're a dula. Now I've been a duela for almost 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:48.040 five years, but I didn't even think you were nineteen 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:52.280 years old or how old? Are you? Almost eight? Oh? 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:55.360 My god? Are you back in l A I am. 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:58.840 I'm into Panga, the of the Duels. Oh, that's where 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:05.360 all duelas have to live of capital of the World. Carson, 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.280 really quick, can we get and explanate what is a duela? 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:11.200 For people listening who don't know or not familiar with 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.880 the profession, what exactly does a duela do? And maybe 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:18.400 how could they find a duel if they are interested. Yeah. So, 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.480 as a birth doul, I work with parents through pregnancy, birth, 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.600 and postpartum to help inform and educate them on all 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.760 of their choices in whatever setting they choose to give birth. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.920 I'm helping to advocate for them, making sure their voices 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.640 are being heard, needs are being met, and that they 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.280 have all of the information they need to make empowered 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:40.079 decisions through the process. So, okay, So we had to 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:44.760 call her. How would you summarize her. She was very 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.200 far along in her pregnancy and it just dawned on 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.080 her that she's going to have to birth this child. 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:51.120 It's no longer just going to take up space in 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.079 her uterus. It's going to have to come out at 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:56.920 some point. So she needs she needs a little pep talk. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:00.199 She needs advice and insight on what to expect to 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:03.040 get through it. She's freaking out and can't believe she's 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:06.200 about to give birth. I think just the process itself 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.560 is what's so scary to her, Like the idea, which 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:12.880 I think is very relatable, that it's very scary to 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.319 think about a human being coming out of your vagina, 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:19.079 what happens to your vagina, the pain that you experience, 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:24.000 and what happens if anything goes wrong, and how you 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:27.400 recover in the short term and probably in the long term. 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:29.600 You know. I saw TikTok video the other day of 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:33.040 a live childbirth, and I was disturbed, to say the 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:37.280 very least. And I just can't imagine something so violent 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:41.400 happening to my Pikachu. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you, 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.559 and I think we I feel this way. I felt like, 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.080 you know, we had sex, said, right. We were raised 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.960 to think get pregnant and die. Right, It's just the 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:54.040 most terrifying thing that can happen. Prefer that scene in 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.400 Mean Girls, right, or it's like have sex, get pregnant, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.839 and die. And that's like the extent of our childbirth 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:03.560 education as young women. And so for me, it was 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.000 when I saw the business of being born in college 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.880 that I was like blown away by seeing depiction of 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.559 birth that wasn't just the Hollywood depiction of birth. It 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:17.680 wasn't flailing legs and blood and all these masked men 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:21.440 standing over you. It was powerful and in some cases 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:25.520 even pleasurable and very empowering for these women. And so 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:28.199 I was like, why haven't I seen these depictions of birth? 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:32.520 And where's the class later on in life to say, Okay, 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:36.040 we're not scaring you into pregnancy anymore. Here are your choices, 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.679 here are your options, here is some let's work through 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.880 these fears that we kind of pushed on you for 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:43.480 so many years. Seeing the business of being born was 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:45.280 really eye opening to me. And so I think she 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.880 is not alone in that fear. I hear this all 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:50.080 the time, and part of what I do as a 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:55.040 birth duel is help parents work through these fears, demystify 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.920 some of the myths that they have been hearing around childbirth, 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:03.040 and then also know how to approach of what can 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:06.760 be a very difficult process and something that is a 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:11.480 huge life transformation. So what does our body naturally do 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:14.840 for us during this process? I think that's what people 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:18.800 have a hard time understanding. How does your vagina open 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.440 up big? And then what happens after? I mean that's 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:26.160 my first question obviously, that's but like, how does your 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:33.000 body internally ready you for this experience? Yes, so the 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:37.920 understanding the physiological process of what is happening in the 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:43.839 body during pregnancy and labor and postpartum is unbelievable and incredible, 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:46.040 and for me, it just gives me such a deeper 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:51.080 respect for the female body and nature and how brilliant 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.600 the whole process is. What happens in labor is the cervix, 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:59.200 which has remained closed and hard through pregnancy to keep 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:04.640 the baby inside, is starting to soften and open. And 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:09.000 so a process that we say, oh it takes so long, right, yeah, 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:11.560 first time leaver, it can be long, But really, what's 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:15.680 happening in a day or two Your cervix is going 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:20.520 from completely closed to ten centimeters open to allow for 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.160 the baby to come out. And this happens through the 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.679 contracting of ten centimes. Is that the limit or can 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.680 it go beyond that ten centimeters? It just goes to 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:32.320 ten centimes, I bet you some people go to twelve. 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.520 Well it does you know? It stretches and allows for 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:39.800 the baby to come through. Um. The cervix is what goes. 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.920 It's on the top of the birth canal right, the 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:46.199 vagina so okay, well that's good because I honestly didn't 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.600 know that that has to open for the baby to 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:53.200 come into the birth Okay, copy, that keep going. What's 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:57.119 happening in that process the contractions, which is the stimulation 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.520 of the uterus that is bringing the baby's head down 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.800 onto this cervix and lower into the pelvis. That happens 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:06.520 due to oxytocin. And some people know of oxytocin because 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:09.920 it's this potocin, which is very widely used in UH 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.679 labor as a drug, is a synthetic version of oxytocin. 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:17.000 But oxytocin is something we create in our bodies automat 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.040 to be confused with oxycotton. People this is a two. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:24.560 These are two very separate items. They are, but they 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:29.520 also both feel good right a few chemical or hormones, 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:33.440 So oxytocin is known as the love hormone because it's 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.400 released in our bodies when we fall in love, when 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.439 we have sex or orgasm, when we are with our pets, 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:43.040 when we are in laughing amongst friends. It's what bonds 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.000 us to one another and makes us feel good and 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:50.680 like we belong. The highest surge of oxytocin that ever 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:54.160 happens in the body happens in labor, and this is 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.880 what is contracting the uterus. So I always say that 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:00.720 you know, feeling good having a dula, how the music, 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:05.640 having support, feeling safe, being in low lighting, having candles right, 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:07.400 the same way the baby comes in is the same 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.920 way the baby comes out. Having that oxytocin, and that 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:15.240 feel good is not just a nice experience for your birth, 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:19.800 but it's literally telling your body you are safe, you 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:23.160 are okay to bring baby out into the world. So 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:25.720 I think that's like the proof of how important it 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:28.880 is to work through fear before birth and to approach 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:31.680 it feeling empowered and supported, because when we stop the 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:35.440 flow of oxytocin, we stop the flow of labor. Oxytocin 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.440 is also what bonds you to your baby right away. 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.440 So when you look into your baby's eyes, when you 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:44.080 have skin to skin, what does oxytocin do. It tells 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:48.200 the uterus to continue contracting, and that's what helps stop 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.840 leading postpartum. It's what gets that uterus that has grown 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:54.080 to the size of a watermelon back to size. It's 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.400 also what tells your body to produce breast milk. So 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.000 it's really this brilliant hormone that is play. Wow. That 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.640 is you know what. This is a very helpful explanation 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.880 for someone who will never have a baby. You make 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:10.480 it sound beautiful. Now, I'm understanding the draw. If you 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:14.120 do it the right way, it can be beautiful. Yeah, 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.280 and I think there's there's room for for it all. 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.720 It's beautiful and it's hard and it's messy, but I do. 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.560 My wish for all women who want to have kids 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.480 is that they can go into it feeling that and 0:15:26.520 --> 0:15:31.280 knowing that feeling good is what's going to serve them. Yeah. Also, 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:34.120 you know my psychiatrist, he has a theory about being born. 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.040 Well not it's not his theory but there is a 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.080 theory out there, you know, about being born, about being 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.520 You're in the womb and it's safe, and it's you're 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.240 there for nine months and there's no noise, and and 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:44.920 you're being fed and you don't have to go to 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:49.400 the bathroom. And then you're thrust into fluorescent lighting, spanked 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:52.320 on the ass and having tubes shoved in you, and 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:54.720 all of a sudden you're in the world and you 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.240 have to communicate that you're hungry, and you have to 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.800 communicate that you have to go to the bathroom, and 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.760 that is a trauma in and of itself. Being born 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.600 is traumatic, yeah, and I, but I doesn't have to be. 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:11.120 And that's where we've done a big disservice in the 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:15.400 over medicalization of birth. Right. Birth is not a medical event, 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:19.520 and doctors and opis and hospitals are fantastic at dealing 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:24.440 with emergencies, and thank god we have them right, But overall, 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:27.040 we have kind of swung this pendulum for the past 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:31.360 really a hundred years almost two, taking away from this 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.160 physiological process and over medicalizing it. And we're learning now 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.520 through research and also, as you're saying, right, people who 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.360 are working through trauma that's starting from day one, is 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:46.640 that the more we can protect this environment, and that 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:50.320 means home, hospital, wherever you are, and support a gentle 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:52.760 birth for the mother, but also for the baby. Right 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:56.640 being born into dim lights, being born into hearing your 0:16:56.800 --> 0:17:01.080 parents voice first, right right or two own skin to 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:04.679 skin with your parents, having that time to adjust to 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:08.280 the outside world, which is big, right. Yes, it's going 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.280 to be traumatic at a certain point to just be 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:14.280 human and and function in our our world today, but 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.960 protecting that space is so important for establishing healthy breastfeeding. 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.040 And then, like you say, I think it's something that 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.680 we store in our memory for years. Right. The way 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.560 that we perceived the world has a lot to do 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.960 with our first moments in it. I'm biased, but I 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.680 do think that having a doula is a wonderful way 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:35.560 to prepare for this process. You can find Dulah's through 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:40.359 word of mouth, Instagram, asking around yoga teachers in your 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:45.320 community acupuncturist. I think more and more everybody is learning 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.240 about the benefits that are actually evidence space of having 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:52.240 a dula. You can find me online at Carson dash 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.160 Meyer dot com and I teach childbirth education classes online 0:17:56.320 --> 0:18:00.399 and also have a wonderful community of other recommendations, and 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.280 I'm happy to send your way. Well, that was very 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:05.720 well said. Thank you Carson. Thanks for your time today. 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.639 It's lovely to see your face as always, and you 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.760 know what your background looks to me like somewhere I 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:13.480 want to be, so just pretend I'm there with you. Okay, 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.879 Oh I love this. This is great. I mean, who 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.919 knew I would ever spend as much time talking about childbirth. 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:21.640 Now she's going to become a duel. Oh my god, 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:23.680 what if I become a duel? Like can you imagine 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.560 if you got bad to have birth and I'm by 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.440 your side. Well, let me tell you. You know what 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:32.320 helps oxytocin flow is laughter? Yeah, axy tie, you know 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.240 what helps laughter? Well, we'll talk about that later. I 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.960 love you, Carson, Thank you so much. And yeah, please 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:40.879 reach out to Carson for all of those of you 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:43.520 out there in this area that are looking for someone 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.000 qualified to teach you about all this stuff. It sounds 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.199 like we found our girl and get support. Don't be 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:53.880 afraid to ask for help. Yeah, definitely, Thank you by Carson. Well, 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:58.000 that was just delightful. I mean that was delightful. That 0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:02.399 was the first time that I have paid attention to 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:09.480 a conversation about child birth that intricate I. Usually it's 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:13.240 almost like math. When people get too into the weeds 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:18.720 about childbirth or financial numbers, I tune out, and then 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:21.600 I need to take it edible. Well, she gave a 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:24.800 great explanation. It still doesn't make it seem like it's 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:26.320 going to be great. But if you can get that 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:28.800 set up to make it a little bit more enjoyable, 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:31.360 I mean more power to you. I'm glad that we 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:34.439 don't have a baby. Yes, you will never have a baby. 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:37.520 Oh my god, I need to be more enthusiastic for 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:40.640 people who are having I feel like I'm such an asshole, 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.000 but I see you don't have a baby. I see 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:47.000 people who are pregnant, and I just think, why, why, 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.840 why would you do that? When we were traveling, when 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:52.080 we were at the airport, that's what Levi had said. 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:53.800 He just looked at me, goes, aren't you so fucking 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:55.639 glad we don't have to worry about a car seat 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:58.440 or a stroller. And you're any of that ship while 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:04.119 you're fires are cheer Rio's fucking everywhere driving around in 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:07.720 a smelly minivan that has fucking food stuck in yogurt 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:12.360 squirts and yogurts, those yogurt fucking squirt things. My sister's 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:14.960 cars give me so much anxiety. No one's going to 0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:16.920 have to get in them, and then when I'm in them, 0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.320 just I want to wipe everything. I know. I know 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:22.119 I have the same thing my sisters now, my sister Simone, 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:24.920 whose kids are older, so her car is a completely 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:26.760 different situation than it used to be when they were 0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:29.080 growing up. I mean, it was so gross. I remember 0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:30.440 when I moved to l A. I lived with my 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.040 aunt Gabby and uncle Terry on Beverly glenn And Boulevard, 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:35.080 and they had nine children, and I had to take 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:37.520 all nine children to school every day in a minivan, 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:40.560 and I listened to Howard Stern to watch that show 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.760 Actually you as a bus driver, I was such a count. 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:44.920 I would fucking scream and yell at them. But I 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:47.280 would also take them to Disneyland and go to Magic 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:49.080 Mountain if one of them didn't want to go to school. 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:53.120 So I was good sometimes, but I basically just had 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:57.680 to earn my keep at my aunt's house and my responsibility, yeah, 0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.560 it was to take them to school every day, and 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:02.680 I just I fucking hated it. I hated the smell 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:07.440 of that van so much. It's like diapers, yogurt and 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:13.760 cheerios stuck everywhere. Everything's tacky. Well, tacky isn't the right 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:16.760 word for me, Like the every like car seats have 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:24.600 TACKI TACKI like sticky or TACKI isn't taste both? Well, No, 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:28.280 it's not feeling, because you can't have taste when you're 0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:31.440 doing that, when you're running around with fucking children. It's 0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:32.960 not like you have time to be like, oh, I'm 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:35.800 gonna this is stylish. You know what else I'm never 0:21:35.840 --> 0:21:38.480 gonna do is fucking share a hamburger with a child. 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:41.200 Have you ever seen that? Like parents who eat things 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:43.680 that their children have left there? Yeah, chicken nuggets. That's 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:45.159 the only reason I would have kids, so that I 0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:48.320 could have all the chicken nuggets. Not after they slob no, No, 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:53.520 but I will chicken a stricter threshold of what they 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:57.600 will allow. I had a friend who's going through a 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:03.160 really difficult thing because her daughter is sexually active, and 0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:07.119 my friend is like freaking out about it, and her 0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:09.600