1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:01,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. 2 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 2: We're the ancient two case story. 3 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 3: Time podcast hosts, and we have some ancient wisdom in 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 3: the stories coming up. If you want to hear the 5 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,399 Speaker 3: wisdom from two old heads that know more than they 6 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 3: know what to do with, you're gonna have to wait 7 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 3: for a quick message from our sponsors for the next 8 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 3: two minutes or so. 9 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 4: My husband's bizarre behavior is ruining our marriage. 10 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 2: He's tone it down a little bit of history. 11 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 4: My husband, thirty one male, and I twenty nine female, 12 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 4: have been married for one year together for three years. 13 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 4: I've always known he has a bad case of social anxiety, 14 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 4: which I've always been really supportive of. I myself often 15 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 4: battled the anxiety monster. Recently for his work, we moved 16 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 4: from North America to Europe. By the way, this comes 17 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 4: from deleted and if you want to smit your own stories, 18 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 4: go to the rt slash Okay story Time separate it. 19 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 4: I'm Sofia, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here to 20 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 4: give good advice. Goof Ley, But we don't have all 21 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 4: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let 22 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 4: us know what you would do in the comments. Our 23 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 4: relationship has always been super solid. We've always been completely 24 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 4: honest with one another. No history of lies in fidelity 25 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 4: or manipulation. Nothing. Up until recently, I thought we were 26 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 4: two solid peas in a solid pod. I was understanding 27 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 4: for the first month when he'd act extremely panicked when 28 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 4: we'd leave the house. But we've been here for four 29 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 4: months now and his behavior is gone from panicked to 30 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,479 Speaker 4: in my opinion, straight up bizarre. 31 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 2: Calling you right now, brain sewer. 32 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: How bizarre, how bizarre. 33 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 4: It's both worrying me and completely driving a wedge between us. 34 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 4: I sleep on the couch most nights now, Oh my god, dang, 35 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 4: your back's probably hurting or some people prefer it. You 36 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 4: know what Sam does. Whenever Sam stays at our parents' house, 37 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 4: he never sleeps like when he had. My parents have 38 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 4: since gotten rid of his bed because he never slept 39 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 4: in it anyway, But he would never sleep in his bed. 40 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 4: He would always sleep on the couch. 41 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 2: It's a nice couch. Also, my grandpa, my great grandpa, 42 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 2: and my uncle always slept on the couch and didn't 43 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 2: know that was a bad thing ish to people until 44 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 2: I got the collg. 45 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom's super against couch sleeping. She's like, they're 46 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 4: gonna mass up the couch and I'm like, but it's 47 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 4: for sitting on. He's been having really aggressive and confusing 48 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 4: outbursts pretty much NonStop, but again, I was trying to 49 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 4: be understanding that it's probably just his anxiety getting the 50 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 4: best of him. The event that caused me to start 51 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 4: sleeping on the couch was this one of my favorite 52 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 4: bands that I've been trying to see for ten years 53 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 4: was in town and also playing at this super cool 54 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 4: local venue I'd been wanting to check out, so I 55 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 4: was really excited and it was a pretty big deal 56 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 4: for me. We're at the venue, having some beers and 57 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,239 Speaker 4: getting along great. When I asked him if he knows 58 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 4: where the bathroom is. It should be noted that this 59 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 4: venue is underground, and he is an upstairs outside patio 60 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,399 Speaker 4: bar area, and there are two entrances to the downstairs, 61 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 4: but I was only aware of one at the time. 62 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 4: He says, it's just upstairs, then first door on the left. Okay, 63 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 4: So I walk up the only stairs that I'm aware 64 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 4: of and see no other doors anywhere. I wander around 65 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,839 Speaker 4: for a while and finally find the bathrooms. I come 66 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 4: back down and in completely good spirits. I jokingly said 67 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 4: he was trying to lead me on a wild goose show. 68 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 4: Since the bathrooms we weren't exactly to the left like 69 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 4: he said. He insisted, yes they were. I said, no way, 70 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 4: you have to walk all the way around the building. 71 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,639 Speaker 4: He asked which stairs I went up. I said the 72 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 4: stairs we came down from originally, and asking if they 73 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 4: weren't the only ones, He said no, there's some over 74 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 4: there behind that door and pointed. I said, oh crap, yeah, 75 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 4: I didn't even know those were there. That's when things 76 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 4: got weird. 77 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 2: So in life you have live experiences where things just 78 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: kind of happened and you commentate on it. That's, you know, yeah, 79 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 2: how things happen. If your relationship doesn't really allow that 80 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 2: to live or breathe and have mistakes, good, Like, there's 81 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 2: more than just this anxiety. I don't know. 82 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree. Yeah, he said, yes, I did know 83 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 4: they were there, and then I just used them. I 84 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 4: told him, no, I didn't know they existed until he 85 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 4: literally just pointed to them. He asked why I was 86 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 4: lying to him. I was confused and asked if he 87 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 4: wanted me to explain the exact path I took to 88 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 4: the bathroom, saying I didn't even know where those stairs 89 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 4: go and that I legitimately didn't know they existed until 90 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 4: just then. Oh dude, it's so frustrating. 91 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 2: Like step by step, yeah, you just said while you 92 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: get like, come on. 93 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 4: He got aggressive and said, yes, I effing did know 94 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 4: that he knew I used them, asking why I was 95 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 4: lying to him and claiming he saw me walk through 96 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 4: that door. I told him I definitely did not use 97 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 4: that door and asked what it mattered since it's just 98 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 4: a door, suggesting we move on. He refused and demanded 99 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 4: to know why I was effing with him and why 100 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 4: I was trying to make him feel crazy. 101 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 2: That's so oh my gosh. You see how backward this is. 102 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 2: Opie says, oh my gosh, you were effing with me, 103 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 2: goes through a conversation line flips around her why are 104 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: you effing with me? 105 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,919 Speaker 4: And also Opie was seemingly joking. 106 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 107 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 4: He's like, oh my goodness, you got me loving joking 108 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 4: joyfully yes, And he's like, how dare you yah about? 109 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: There's no join there's no joy in this relationship, you know. 110 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 4: Also Condy's relationship. 111 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 2: The number one killer of joy is overthinking and what 112 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 2: are we doing here? 113 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 4: Overthinking? And there you go out, folks. 114 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 2: Dude, if Sophia si me on a wild goose chase, dude, 115 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 2: look trying to give me to get my steps in? Man, 116 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: what are you doing? 117 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 4: How dare you? I know you use the stairs? What 118 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 4: is this? 119 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 2: D uh? 120 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 4: Getting concerned At this point, I asked if he was 121 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 4: okay and what was really going on. He kept insisting 122 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 4: I was effing lying to him and doing it on purpose, 123 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 4: demanding I explain it to him and asking why I 124 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 4: was trying to make him feel crazy. The conversation carried 125 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 4: on like this for a while, while you wouldn't drop it. 126 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 4: He stormed out a few times, stormed back, humiliated me, 127 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 4: ruined the night, and I ended up leaving with him. Now, 128 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 4: typically in those standard who ate the last piece of 129 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 4: bread arguments where both parties deny it, I'll just say yeah, 130 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 4: it was possibly me to avoid the argument. Feels like 131 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 4: you're probably having these bread arguments a lot. 132 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 2: Just get a gnome and blame it on them. 133 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 4: I'd rather be happy than right all the time. But 134 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 4: the fact is I absolutely didn't even know those stairs existed, 135 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 4: and I felt like giving in and lying to calm 136 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 4: him down would be enabling some pretty ft up behavior. 137 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 4: So I didn't, and I wondered, is this though it's 138 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 4: gonna be every time I don't bend to his will 139 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 4: to avoid confrontation. Seems like it. So I told him 140 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 4: that if he didn't see a therapist, I couldn't be 141 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 4: with him. He absolutely refused and said it was not 142 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 4: an option he would ever consider, even though I've gone 143 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,559 Speaker 4: to therapy many times and there is absolutely no shame 144 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 4: about it in our household. After I told him that 145 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 4: I could no longer live like this and would not 146 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 4: be sleeping in the same room as him anymore, we 147 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 4: finally made an agreement. If he ever had another outburst again, 148 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 4: he would agree to go to therapy. 149 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 2: Okay, hear me out here, if there's ever another explosion 150 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 2: that kills multiple people, will finally implement a system so 151 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,159 Speaker 2: another explosion doesn't happen. 152 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you should have stuck with the 153 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 4: first agreement, which you said, if you don't go to therapist. 154 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 4: You literally said, so I told him that if you 155 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 4: didn't see a therapist, I couldn't be with him. Stick 156 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 4: with that. 157 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's stick with that. We'll start seeing when now, So. 158 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 4: Why are you backing down? It seems like he's like, oh, well, 159 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 4: I guess he said we shouldn't do that, and so 160 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,239 Speaker 4: I agreed. I think he's doing the same thing as before. 161 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 2: I think the reason she backed down. I don't blame her. 162 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 2: You see how persistent he was in that conversation of 163 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 2: understanding which there she took. Yeah, that would, dude, I'm exhausted. 164 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. 165 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 2: Oh, okay, okay, the same thing I got. 166 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 4: You, you know, because she she before, she she said 167 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 4: she when it was like a who ate the last 168 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 4: piece of bread? She'd always backed down, and it feels 169 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 4: like that's what she's doing here. 170 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's hard. 171 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 4: It's hard, just me thinking nobody can just change the behavior. 172 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 4: Overnight agreed it wasn't a matter of if, it was 173 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 4: a matter of when. Now, to his credit, a month 174 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 4: has passed and he hasn't had another super aggressive outburst. 175 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 4: But he's channeling that bizarre, obsessive behavior into other aspects 176 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 4: of his life, and he's having minor fits all the time. 177 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 4: In my opinion, many of his behaviors count as further outbursts, 178 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 4: but he's refusing to go to therapy, then that's it. 179 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 4: If you said you have to hold strong to your 180 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 4: boundaries and to the you know, like the lines that 181 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 4: you've you've said that if he crosses, then you're done. 182 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 2: I understand blowing off some steme yeah, for work or 183 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 2: in a relationship, and you know, working out or doing 184 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 2: something to get rid of that. This is a cross 185 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 2: a line. Cross the line, give yourself some value and leave. 186 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 4: To try to avoid rambling, I'll do a point form 187 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 4: list of some examples just from the last few days. No, 188 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 4: we're going to the grocery store, and when he was 189 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 4: about to grab a basket, I said, oh, I actually 190 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 4: have my cloth bag. We can just use that as 191 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 4: a basket and then we know we won't buy too 192 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 4: much to fit, to which he responds, Oh, it's no 193 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 4: big deal, let's just get a basket. A perfectly normal 194 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,560 Speaker 4: interaction until I started putting canned beans into the basket 195 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 4: and he starts getting extremely agitated about how he thought 196 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 4: I just wanted to get enough for the cloth. Back, 197 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 4: I explained how I thought he meant we should get 198 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 4: more when we got the basket. He responds that he did, 199 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 4: in fact mean that, so I'm confused as to why 200 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 4: he's upset. He just keeps repeating, I just thought you 201 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 4: only wanted enough for the cloth bag. That's what you said, 202 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 4: and now you're getting more than we'll fit in the 203 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 4: cloth back. It's just not what you said. You don't 204 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 4: have a cloth bag anymore, you have a basket. 205 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 2: You can't reason with this man. It's like being in 206 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 2: a mind game. 207 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 4: Literally everything you do is a mistake to him. Oh. 208 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 4: I tried to calm him down by saying we could 209 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,839 Speaker 4: just ask for an extra bag of checkout or put 210 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 4: the extra items back, and he made it clear neither 211 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 4: of those things were the point. He just kept repeating, 212 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 4: you said you want to just enough for the cloth bag, 213 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 4: and then you changed it. I had no idea what 214 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 4: he was actually upset about. Grocery store again, I'm looking 215 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 4: for tea. He starts breathing really heavily and clenching his 216 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 4: fists like he's trying to contain his anger. I figure 217 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 4: maybe he was getting anxious, even though we'd been in 218 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 4: the store probably thirty times at this point and it 219 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 4: wasn't busy at all. So I said sorry, if this 220 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 4: is taken a while, I'm sure it's here, somewhere just 221 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 4: a second, to which he starts ranting, take how ever 222 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 4: long you want. It's fine. You just didn't tell me 223 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 4: you wanted penalty. What am I supposed to do? I 224 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 4: didn't know you wanted penalty. 225 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: This is very leave him, Leave him. 226 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 4: You've given him so many freaking boundaries and saying this 227 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 4: is when I'm gonna leave you if you do this 228 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 4: and you keep lett him walk over them. 229 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: And he's doing this in public too, by the way. 230 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's gonna be things of life that come up. 231 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 2: If you can't have someone that is there to ride 232 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: those waves, you're gonna be so miserable. 233 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 4: Me a bit stunned, respond, Okay, I'll just be another second. 234 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 4: I know it's here. At this point, he was borderline 235 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 4: crying and stormed out of the house. He was furious 236 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 4: when I got home and could not explain why this 237 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 4: man has the emotional regulation of a one year old. 238 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: He stormed out of the store, by the way, and 239 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 1: at the house. What out of the store. 240 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 4: And stormed out of the store. 241 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: Yeah again, he's having a little temper chantrum in the supermarket. 242 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: In the grocery store, he just. 243 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 4: Kept repeating that he wasn't anticipating me looking for that tea. 244 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 4: He could not explain to me why it upset him. 245 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 4: I'm really I'm really wondering if this is like he 246 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 4: has some you know, neurodivergency and it's not. I mean, 247 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 4: we know his anxiety, but I feel like there's got 248 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 4: to be something else here. Yeah, that's because this feels 249 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 4: like an extreme reaction to I think it's like, yeah, 250 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 4: little things that are outside of his norm, you know, 251 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 4: like that's what it feels like. And I feel like 252 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 4: we need to say, therapist, let's get you, you know, diagnosed, get. 253 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 2: You checked up. Because he wasn't like this before, right, I. 254 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: Don't know I would go, I would like. 255 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 4: I don't even know if that's true, though, I think, ops, 256 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 4: it just never was this big. But I feel like, oh, 257 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 4: P said like, oh, you know, the bread argument. I 258 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 4: feel like he's done this before. 259 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: I'd be like, why why did you get why did 260 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: you act like that? Like what what made you feel 261 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: like that? And we just keep saying I don't know, Like, 262 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: all right, I think I know what we need to do. 263 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,439 Speaker 1: Time to go talk to somebody. 264 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 4: I could go on and on, but this is already 265 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 4: long enough a couple more quick notes that might be relevant. 266 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 4: He obsessively needs to finish what he's saying at all times, 267 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 4: no matter what. Even if he's trying to tell me 268 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 4: where he left a note for me and I say 269 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 4: I already got it, he has to finish explaining it 270 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 4: in detail, okay. He has also become extremely sensitive to 271 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 4: any perceived aggression, like I can't raise my voice to 272 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 4: talk to him, even if he has phones on and 273 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 4: I'm just trying to tell him that dinner is ready, 274 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 4: it's enough to make him cry. I genuinely think this 275 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 4: guy has some sort of sort of neurodivergency, Like I 276 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 4: think maybe this is autism. I don't want to diagnose 277 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 4: him do it. I don't know. I just do think 278 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 4: there's some like some sort of nerd divergency maybe or 279 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 4: a mental health problem, says deer to Stathem. I think 280 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 4: there's gotta be something going on here because are very extreme, 281 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,439 Speaker 4: you know, reactions. 282 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 2: I'll give him the ZGW diagnosis. 283 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: What's that? 284 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 2: Look, that's what's what he got. He's got that. 285 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, this is not just anxiety. 286 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: First, I just need to know how long has this 287 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: been going on, because it seems like it because OPI 288 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,199 Speaker 1: started off as like, eh, we like we've been together 289 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: for a while. 290 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 4: I think if it's something that like huge switch up, 291 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 4: then maybe he's hiding something cheating, brain tumor something like that. 292 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 4: If it's a huge swip shop, if it is somewhat 293 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 4: in line with what he's always been acting like, it's 294 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 4: just maybe a little bit more intense, then I think 295 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 4: it's probably you know, some sort of like nerdivergency. 296 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:11,199 Speaker 2: And since this is what like a wedship, yeah, you 297 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 2: got to put in more effort and trying to figure 298 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 2: out and get to the bottom of it, because if 299 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 2: you guys are like boyfriend girlfriend, it'd be like girl leave, Yeah, 300 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 2: it's time to leave. You're gonna feel so much relief 301 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:20,679 Speaker 2: off of this. 302 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 4: Read well, Ronna said, okay, start to she said it 303 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 4: started when they moved country. 304 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 2: Okay. 305 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 4: Wrestling Mama says, he's definitely nerdi vergent. Sounds like my son. 306 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 4: He has to know the plan always, he gets angry. 307 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 4: He's very sensitive. Sounds like autism to me as an 308 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 4: autism mom. That's kind of where I'm at. And I'm 309 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 4: just wondering if Op he didn't notice before because it 310 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 4: wasn't as you know, intensive reactions. 311 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,079 Speaker 2: And he has to explain everything in detail. 312 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 4: I'm so unhappy and I just don't know what to do. 313 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 4: He's always been such a gentle person, and I don't 314 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 4: want to abandon him if he really does need help, 315 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 4: but he just won't listen to me. I'm hoping some 316 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 4: unbiased outsiders' opinions might help me get some clarity in 317 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 4: my current predicament. So Reddit, am I overreacting? Is his 318 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 4: behavior normal for somebody with social anxiety? Am I right 319 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 4: for feeling he needs to talk to a therapist? And Edit? 320 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 4: I wasn't looking for any sort of diagnosis, but the 321 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 4: overwhelming support in my feeling that he would strongly, strongly 322 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 4: benefit from therapy has solidified my decision to push the matter. 323 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 4: I'm going out of town for a week, but I'm 324 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 4: going to talk to him when I get back. I'm 325 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 4: going to follow some advice and look up some local 326 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 4: specialists and present it to him when he were both 327 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 4: in a good headspace, so he knows it's serious and 328 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 4: that it's not just something I throw out at the 329 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 4: end of an argument. And that is the end of 330 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 4: the story. 331 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 2: Man, Is there an update? 332 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna check right now. 333 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think attracts more of a neurodivergency now instead 334 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 2: of a It sounds like the me like brain tumor 335 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: to brain tomor scariest thing. It's like my partner's doing 336 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 2: X Y Z oh. Now that you have three months 337 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: to live, it's like. 338 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,479 Speaker 4: Oh, Reese's my piece says the movie might have aggravated 339 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 4: the tism because the change was big. I feel, Yeah, 340 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 4: he's in a new environment. 341 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no update cash from deleted. 342 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: In these scenarios. If you ever find yourself, you gotta 343 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 2: give yourself aucy first before you can help others. How 344 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 2: can we. 345 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, how can you help yourself? 346 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so you can be in the best case scenario 347 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 2: to help. 348 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. 349 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 4: And also if you bring up these things and say, hey, 350 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 4: let's get a therapist and he said he refuses, then 351 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 4: there's not really much you can do if he's not 352 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,600 Speaker 4: willing to even look into things. 353 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 1: There is one comment I guess because OPI did respond, 354 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: and it has a lot of I guess up boats 355 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: or OPI, Yeah, yeah, this probably needs to be addressed. 356 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: You're not overreacting pretty much what we all said, and 357 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: OPI responds with I'm pretty far beyond wanting to deal 358 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: with it too. If we were just back in our 359 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: home country, honestly, I probably would have broken up with 360 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: him on the spot. But we just sold everything we had, 361 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: uprooted our entire lives, and moved to a new country, 362 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: me spending all my savings in the process. So I'm 363 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: trying so hard to deal with it. But You're right, 364 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: he needs therapy. I mean, in an up like side 365 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: comment on that. A lot of time psychiatric disorders are 366 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: aggravated or triggered by a stressful event like selling everything 367 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: you had, operating your entire lives to a new country. 368 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,720 Speaker 1: He needs a medical doctor, not therapy. I think he 369 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: needs both, But I think you need to get that checked. 370 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 1: We've said it, but those are those are pretty much it. 371 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 2: Like. 372 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like again, that makes a lot more 373 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: sense for OPI why she hasn't left or why she 374 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: isn't breaking up because guess what, all of that makes sense. 375 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 2: They're in it together. Oh man, good luck. 376 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 4: But we got another story coming right up, folks. 377 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,800 Speaker 2: Yep bee, I faked being asleep to catch my wife 378 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 2: in her lines. 379 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 4: I see. 380 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: The past couple of months, my wife has been complaining 381 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 2: about our cats, She's been claiming that the cats wake 382 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 2: her up constantly and that she's very frustrated every night 383 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 2: as she has to get up and open the door 384 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 2: for the cats, or the cats keep making noises, or 385 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,720 Speaker 2: the cats keep jumping on her. Have had cats through 386 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 2: this to me before, sounds like cats. It got to 387 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 2: the point where she started saying she wants me to 388 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: get rid of them. I told her I've never seen 389 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 2: or heard any of this, but she claims I sleep 390 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 2: through all of it. 391 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 4: It does sound like things that cats do that. 392 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 2: I once had a cat try to build a nest 393 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 2: in my hair. 394 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 1: What yeah, a cat, I asked, cat. 395 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 2: He was like, clawed out my curly hair. Okay, he 396 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 2: was building the. 397 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: Nest riley, I don't think cat's building nests. 398 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 2: He had sticks in his mouth. By the way, this 399 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: comes from uh oh, Sleepy throwaway. And if you want 400 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 2: some of my own stories, go to the r slash 401 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 2: okay stories home subreddit. We're gonna give good advice, Schoofully, 402 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know 403 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 2: what we do now, So let us know what you 404 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 2: know in the comments down below. Op He continues to 405 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 2: say she's kept telling me. She's been getting less and 406 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 2: less sleep, and kept's acting aggressive, blaming lack of sleep 407 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 2: from the cats and that if I didn't get rid 408 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 2: of them, she'd leave me. Woo cat. 409 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: And I was also say Riley, the cat was probably 410 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 1: making biscuits on your head. 411 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 4: I think that if she's at the I'm leaving you 412 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 4: if you don't get rid of these cats. Line, probably 413 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 4: not a healthy relationship. And there's something else going on here. 414 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 2: Get rid of the CATS's what's actually happening. She's still 415 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 2: gonna have lack of sleep, you know what, cheat and ooh, 416 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,920 Speaker 2: cheat and hating. It might be cool to just give 417 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 2: the cats to a friend for a week. See what happens. 418 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, see if she still complains. 419 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 2: Tricker, babe, I got rid of the cats today. See 420 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 2: what happens. 421 00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 4: Oh, but they're still there. 422 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: They're just better at hide again. 423 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: The cats out of the bag. 424 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,159 Speaker 2: I know where that came from. By the way, Yeah, I. 425 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,160 Speaker 1: Explain so wait really no, no, don't have time maybe later. 426 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 2: I legitimately started considering giving the cats to my sister 427 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 2: until I noticed something. One morning. She claimed she had 428 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 2: gotten up multiple times throughout the night to help the cats. 429 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 2: She listed a bunch of times. I thought it was 430 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,119 Speaker 2: weird because I'd been up till four am. She claimed 431 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 2: that she got up at one am to open the 432 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 2: door for them, and a few times around three am 433 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 2: because they were meowing and jumping on her. I was 434 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 2: in the bedroom the entire time while she slept, and 435 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 2: I know none of that happened. Things weren't adding up, 436 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 2: so I decided to run a test. I wait until 437 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 2: she said she was going to bed, then I let 438 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 2: the cat out of her bedroom, lowered my phone brightness, 439 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 2: and faked going to sleep. I just laid there in 440 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 2: the bed for the entire night, bored, but I definitely 441 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 2: didn't fall asleep. 442 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,120 Speaker 4: That's impressive. That's hard to do, to just lay there 443 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 4: and not fall asleep. 444 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,880 Speaker 2: You were at least playing movies in your head, though 445 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 2: I can play Guardians of the Galaxy movie in my head. 446 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 2: I made sure to make the time stamps every thirty 447 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 2: minutes on my phone through Discord, just to be sure. 448 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 2: I marked down every noight to my cat's made. One 449 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 2: Ga had jumped down from something. I made a little 450 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 2: sound at three eighteen. I'm sorry. Just the fact that 451 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 2: we're doing this is crazy, and one eight food relatively 452 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 2: quiet by the bedroom door at four fifty seven am. 453 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 2: Other than that, nothing had happened. 454 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 4: It's a specific Oh, he's like logging it because he's 455 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 4: he's faking being asleep, so he can't No, he can't 456 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 4: put it on his fond. 457 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 2: So how does he know this? 458 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 4: In his well, he has. 459 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 2: Fell with me lowered on brightness, so he's typing it. 460 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 2: Sure off. My wife slept from eleven pm until nine am, 461 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 2: ten solid hours asleep, and that morning she claimed she 462 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 2: had woken up at least seven times to open doors 463 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 2: from cat noises and cat jumping on her. Okay, so 464 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: my theory was she was cheating and she used the 465 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,360 Speaker 2: cat thing to just kind of, you know, say like, oh, 466 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 2: I've been up cheating, but the cats are the ones 467 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:20,400 Speaker 2: that are blah blah blah blah blah. 468 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, but she was asleep. 469 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 2: That's That's where I'm like, now I'm confused. 470 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 4: I think that I think she just doesn't like these 471 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 4: cats and she wants any reason to get rid of them. 472 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: Okay, Kean, I was gonna agree with you on that. 473 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,199 Speaker 1: I think maybe she doesn't even know, like this is 474 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: very odd that she does. She think she's waking up. 475 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: Maybe she's dreaming it. 476 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 2: Is she dreaming it? Miss jay Bird? 477 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, miss Jaybird? Is she dreaming? I feel 478 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: like she's dreaming it, because you know, you'd have very 479 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: realistic dreams, but the fact that she's dreaming this every 480 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:49,959 Speaker 1: night is very peculiar. 481 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 4: Yeah. Maybe she's having vivid dreams. 482 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, like it was like once in a blue moon, 483 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: or like once a week. I get it. But it's 484 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: like every night the cat's in her dream. 485 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:58,840 Speaker 4: She wakes up and lets the cats out. 486 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 2: Dude, Okay, we're not even like a seventh of the 487 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 2: way through. 488 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 4: Dang. 489 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 2: At this point, I was pissed because she was clearly 490 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,919 Speaker 2: lying to me. I was exhausted and fed up with 491 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 2: the lies, so I bluntly called her out on it. 492 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 2: I told her, that's funny. I set up all night 493 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 2: to monitor the cats, and they weren't even in the 494 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 2: room at all last night. I have time stamps and everything. 495 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 2: So you've been lying to me, trying to convince me 496 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 2: to get rid of my cats. Why why tell me why? 497 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 2: It feels like the villain scenes and all the movies. 498 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 4: Why did you do it? Why did you do it? 499 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: She just sat there, quietly shaking and looking pissed, then 500 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,439 Speaker 2: got up and left without answering. She came back hours 501 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,360 Speaker 2: later and ignored me whenever I tried talk to her, 502 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 2: and when I asked her how I'm the bad guy 503 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 2: in this situation, she finally said that I was treating 504 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 2: her like a child by lying about sleeping and staying 505 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 2: up all night just to see if she was lying 506 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 2: or not. 507 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 4: Then why are you lying? 508 00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,360 Speaker 2: Girl? And that making time stamps and everything as if 509 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 2: I was an investigator was going too far and makes 510 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 2: me an obsessive a hole. 511 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 4: She's trying to She's trying to flip it on you, girl, 512 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 4: I mean guy, she's trying to flip it on you. 513 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: Did you see what she did? 514 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 4: I just flipped it? 515 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 1: Sure you did what? 516 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 4: She's just not a go Yeah? I guess not. 517 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: No, I think there's more to it. There has me more. 518 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 4: What do you think? 519 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 2: What more is there? Though? 520 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I don't know. This is very 521 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: weird stuff. 522 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,679 Speaker 2: Because I was thinking cheating and she was using the 523 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 2: cats as the goat. 524 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 4: She's asleep. What is she doing? Why is she doing it? 525 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 2: I did it because she was threatening to make me 526 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 2: get rid of my cats or she'd leave me, and 527 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 2: her claims didn't add up. So am I an obsessive 528 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 2: a hole? 529 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: No? 530 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 4: Your wife is suspicious and I want to know what's 531 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:44,719 Speaker 4: up with her? 532 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 2: Yeah? 533 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:46,719 Speaker 4: What she hiding? 534 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 2: Some comments from very where is she? If Batman was 535 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 2: gay in that movie, he would have saved Rachel? What? 536 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 2: What think about it? 537 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 4: I don't know. I haven't seen the movie. 538 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 2: Think about who's Rachel? Some comments from Pepe. Yeah, ye, 539 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 2: small apartment, leaving area, bedroom, bathroom. She refuses to sleep 540 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 2: with the doors open, so keeping them open wasn't an 541 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 2: option to keep the cats from wanting in and out. 542 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 2: We're just under thirty, her a little younger than I. 543 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 2: Neither of us do recreational drugs. Though she's on antidepressants. 544 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: He's on that anti depress Since we. 545 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 2: Have another comment, not the a hole? That was gas 546 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 2: lighting and manipulative. And if she has issues with your cats, 547 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 2: she should have said so directly. 548 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 4: Yeah before she married you. 549 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 2: We have a reply not excusing her actions or lying 550 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 2: at all. She's clearly is trying to remove the cats 551 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,720 Speaker 2: by lying. But I wonder if there is any possibility 552 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: she's got a sleeping disorder or medical condition it's making 553 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 2: her think she's waking up and hearing cats. I mean, 554 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 2: just to rule out that there is any actual reasonable 555 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 2: reason she thinks she's waking up. Doesn't solve the cat 556 00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 2: hatred issue because she's admitted she wants them gone any 557 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: way possible, which is wrong. But I have to wonder 558 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: if there's something else going on here. Comment to does 559 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 2: she really dislike cats? I'm struggling to understand what her 560 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,640 Speaker 2: reasoning would be if that isn't the case. It does 561 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 2: sound like you two are well suited on other fronts, 562 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: so it would be a shame to throw it away 563 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 2: over this. Is she stressed about other things and misdirecting it. 564 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 4: Perhaps I think she's lying about some I think she 565 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 4: just wants it out. 566 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 2: I'm at a loss because we have so much more 567 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:28,360 Speaker 2: to go. 568 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 4: Where could this go? 569 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 2: Yeah? 570 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 4: Where is this going? Who is this? 571 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 2: This might be the crazy story we have, like it 572 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 2: could end up with the DNA tas. 573 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 4: Maybe this is a hoggy down situation where she took 574 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 4: six benadryls erhaps and she's hallucinating these cats. 575 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,400 Speaker 1: M Yeah, reaches my pieces says the wrong antitipressants can 576 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: mess with your brain. 577 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 2: Opie says she had cats of her own for years. 578 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 2: She had known me and my cats for four years 579 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 2: before we got married. Now she's been around them for 580 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 2: about ten years. Never had any problems with them, even 581 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 2: made good comments about how they've liven up the place. Strange, 582 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 2: we got an update. Okay, I need everyone's theories right now. 583 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 4: At the end, I think I think it's the simplest 584 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 4: it's the Aukham's raisor of it all. The simplest answer 585 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 4: is the right answer. I think that she just wants 586 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 4: it out. Okay, I think she's not. She doesn't want 587 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 4: to be in this relationship anymore, and she's blaming it 588 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 4: on everything. 589 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,120 Speaker 2: Get rid of the cats soon, it would be op. 590 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. The fact that she's like not trying to find 591 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 1: a solution for the cats is like, either you get 592 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: rid of the cat, leave, you get yeah, oh I leave. 593 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 4: I feel like that's just I want to get out 594 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 4: of this relationship. That's my two cents. 595 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 2: The only other thing is the antidepressants. Yeah, that might 596 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 2: be playing a factor here. 597 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,400 Speaker 4: I think that's why. I think that's another Those are 598 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 4: my two main theories. Her antidepressants, something's going on there, 599 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 4: or she just wants it out. 600 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 2: She seems like she's sleeping solidly through the night. 601 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's just a dog person. 602 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 4: Kind she's just a dog even though she had cats. 603 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 2: She's a cat person. 604 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: No, she's just a dog person. She people can twitch, 605 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,440 Speaker 1: people can change updates. 606 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 2: She's gone for now. That buy. I mean. I kicked 607 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 2: her out of the house. Why, because she's been in 608 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,680 Speaker 2: the bedroom for hours now, watching YouTube, refusing to talk 609 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 2: to me about what's happened. 610 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,679 Speaker 4: Well, maybe she's watching a good YouTube. 611 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 2: She's watching okay stores come it was GOODNA say. Maybe 612 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,320 Speaker 2: Dakota hit the two wegs for five hours. 613 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's got more time. 614 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 2: A few minutes ago, one of the cats started me 615 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,199 Speaker 2: owing and scratching to get in the room. Within seconds 616 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 2: of him doing that, she ran over to the door 617 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,640 Speaker 2: and kicked it really hard and scream this is all 618 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 2: your fault. F off. 619 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 4: Whoa you're screaming at the little kitty cat, little cute cat. 620 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 4: She's going, she said, and then she went back to 621 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,159 Speaker 4: watching us. Our followers would never act like this. 622 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 2: Scared the crap out of the cat, and he hid 623 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 2: under the couch. I opened the door and asked her 624 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 2: what to deal was that it could have hurt the cat. 625 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,120 Speaker 2: She said, good f the cat. 626 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: Whoa. 627 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 2: That's why I told her to get out of the 628 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 2: house and go find somewhere else to stay for a while. 629 00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,640 Speaker 2: She tried to cry her way out of the situation, 630 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,239 Speaker 2: but I told her I had enough. I'm done. She 631 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 2: had every opportunity to talk to me. Now she's screaming 632 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 2: at the cats and kicking the doors and scaring them. 633 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 2: I tried to listen and offered help, but she won 634 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,640 Speaker 2: none of it too late. Honestly, if I have pets 635 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 2: with a significant other, those are my kids. Yelling at 636 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 2: my kids like that are. 637 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 4: Your responsibility, and the way that you treat them is 638 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 4: also pretty indicative of how you would treat a child. 639 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yes, I. 640 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 4: Like I think there is a difference between the trial 641 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 4: and a pet, but a pet is a trial run 642 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 4: to how are you gonna treat your kid? 643 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,679 Speaker 1: Ultraviolet. She did not with the cat. She hit the door. 644 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: The cat was behind the door because the cat wanted 645 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,439 Speaker 1: to get in, but still, nonetheless, if that door wasn't there, 646 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: I feel like she still would have done. 647 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,919 Speaker 2: A cruel act towards an animal. 648 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 4: Not Okay. 649 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 2: As she was leaving, I told her she can call 650 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,080 Speaker 2: me when she's calm down and willing to talk. I'm 651 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: just so drained at this point. I tried. I gave 652 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 2: her a chance to talk for all of this, and 653 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 2: she insisted there was nothing to talk about, my favorite 654 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,879 Speaker 2: kind talk. I may have not addled it in the 655 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 2: most mature way, sure, but I tried. Maybe this can 656 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 2: be fixed. Maybe not. I just hope a few hours ago. 657 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 2: Now I just whatever, hate it, Sam your og host. 658 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 3: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's 659 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 660 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 4: Update two, Oh man, I still don't know what's going on. 661 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 2: I'm confused. 662 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 4: I think we need to go right into it because 663 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 4: I have no thoughts other than what I've already said. 664 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 1: He and I'm gonna get into it. And no, he 665 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: said he she cheeked the door. 666 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 4: No he the story said that she kicked the door. 667 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 2: Update two, two days later, My wife has been a 668 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 2: baker act. She did not hurt herself, just said something 669 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 2: concerning in public. I got a call from the hospital 670 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 2: this morning asking me to head over for some family therapy. 671 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 2: Apparently she finally wanted to talk. I'll be honest, I'm 672 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 2: pretty pissed at the reason why she's been so hateful 673 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 2: towards my cats. It's absolutely asinine. 674 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 4: Finally will know, we'll know the reason. Please, I need. 675 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 2: To know from a scale the one to ten of 676 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 2: how stupid this is. It's an eleven. Oh no, do 677 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 2: you do? You want to have any slide of a 678 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 2: guess for what it could have been? Any slide, no, 679 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 2: any reason why. 680 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: She hates guys because her a had a cat? 681 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 2: Okay, uh, go, go littler. I just need one example 682 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 2: and I'll get right into it. I just want to 683 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 2: see what kind of thing you could have thought of. 684 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 4: I know the cat leaves, leaves its, she had the 685 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 4: litter around the house. That's my guess. 686 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 1: The cat, the cat farts. 687 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 2: The cat part okay, According to her, one of the 688 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,760 Speaker 2: cats stepped on her laptop and ruined a story she 689 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 2: was riding. 690 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 1: Oh dude, that can't be it. How did it ruin 691 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: I don't believe. 692 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 4: How did it ruin it? How did it delete it? 693 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 4: You can you can pull that back up? Did it 694 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 4: delete something in the reverse? Yeah? Control z. 695 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: There's no way that's the actual reason that it is 696 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 1: it is. If that's her actual reason, I'm like, stay here, done, 697 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 1: We're done. 698 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: She hated both cats ever since. I mean, that sucks. 699 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 4: I didn't even. 700 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: Touch your story, but it's not worth trying to emotionally 701 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,479 Speaker 2: blackmail me into getting rid of them. I asked her 702 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 2: why she didn't tell me the truth and why she'd 703 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 2: been lying and refused to talk about it. When I 704 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 2: asked her, do. 705 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: We believe this? Do we actually believe this? 706 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 2: Her answer was because you wouldn't have gotten rid of 707 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 2: them otherwise, and explain that. When she saw I wasn't 708 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,719 Speaker 2: willing to abandon them for her, she took offense and 709 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 2: made it a goal to have me pick her over them. 710 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:43,680 Speaker 4: Wow. 711 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: Well, guess what if she wants that I'm picking the 712 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 1: cats over her. Woy, I'm allergic to cats. O. 713 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: Yep, this is over sickening. Don't know why she actually 714 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 2: admitted to it all. The woman with us asked me 715 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 2: how I felt about all of it. I just told 716 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 2: him the truth. I told her it was an ice run, 717 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 2: but I'm probably going to want a divorce. I was 718 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 2: asked why, and I told them I've seen a new, hateful, 719 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 2: malicious side of her that I want nothing to do with. 720 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 2: She was so set on getting rid of the cats 721 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 2: over a fan fiction being ruined that she manipulated her husband. 722 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 1: She's not even a writer, she's not. 723 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 4: She's writing fan fiction. Yeah, he was over job. She's like, 724 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 4: and Harry reached over to caress Draca's face, and then 725 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 4: the cat like steps on it, and like so it 726 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 4: just starts typing like worse fan fiction. 727 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 2: It's like, no, no, no, no, better fan food. 728 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's better, it's better. It's like something fixes all 729 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 4: the bottles. No no, no, yeah, she's asleep and the 730 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 4: cat's out there being like and then Harry cats then 731 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 4: and then they went to get. 732 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 2: The other cat's probably mewed some answers to it. 733 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, no, not that the cats like got it, 734 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 4: got it, okay, yeah, the other cats. 735 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: The beta writer, I would look I would look her 736 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: in the eyes, like you you did all that because 737 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: a cat walked on your laptop. And she's like, yeah, 738 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: now you see my side of it, right, She's like, 739 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: now you. 740 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 4: Understand my one hundred k slow band fanfic was destroyed 741 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 4: by your cat. 742 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 2: My wife started shouting at me that I've betrayed her, 743 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 2: that I'm scum for choosing animals over her. At least 744 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 2: cats don't give ultimatums. Like she gave. I'm almost sure 745 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 2: I'm going for divorce. I'm very worried about having her 746 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 2: in the same house as my cats. I want my 747 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 2: cats safe. I don't want to worry about them being 748 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 2: harmed or disappearing. Screw that, I guess I'll do what 749 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 2: most of you suggested, keep the cats for home. The 750 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 2: wife nice. Not how I wanted to end it, but 751 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 2: this is always nice. If I may, I want to 752 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 2: clear up some things from the original post. I did 753 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 2: not stare at her all night. 754 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 4: We didn't even read the freaking post op. He was 755 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 4: there on his phone being like, just gonna make sure 756 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 4: she's not freaking walk it waking up. He wasn't like 757 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 4: at three a m she twitched at full seventy, she 758 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 4: at full forty five, she moved a little bit. 759 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 2: Well, so, if your partner has a problem with your cats, 760 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 2: make your cats wash this episode. Yeah, this is a. 761 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 4: We're on your cat's side. 762 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a cat friendly episode. We have a 763 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 2: mute TV with subtitles playing every night. I stubbly watched 764 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 2: TV while paying attention to the cat sounds. I'm not 765 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 2: allowed to install cat doors, and she won't let me 766 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 2: keep the doors open apartment rules. Why did I instantly 767 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 2: assume she was lying. I'm unfamiliar with mental health issues, 768 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 2: so when someone tells me events happened when they literally didn't, 769 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 2: I generally assume they're lying. Update two weeks later, Oh. 770 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 4: I hope it's like I haven't seen her because we're 771 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 4: broken up. 772 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, she gone, I think you've got another cat. 773 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 2: Someone's got her. Yeah, I sadly believe we have a 774 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 2: missing cat. 775 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,399 Speaker 4: No, don't take the cat. She's like, she's shaking the cat, 776 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 4: and she's like, if you don't write my fan fiction 777 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,280 Speaker 4: for me, you're done. 778 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 2: All this over some fan fiction. Man, this is wild. 779 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,320 Speaker 2: This really shows how far your wife has fallen. Yeah, 780 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 2: this is wild. I've never heard that excuse before, nor 781 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 2: am I I've heard like making a dog run outside 782 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,799 Speaker 2: because they didn't like them because they thought, like, you 783 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 2: know what, Actually, this is the same scenario as all 784 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,040 Speaker 2: the other ones. People think that they're prioritizing their pets 785 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 2: over them, and they get jealous. 786 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 4: That's what this is. 787 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,880 Speaker 2: Oh, you don't even appreciate my fan fiction. 788 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 4: You never read it. 789 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 2: Update three two weeks later. It's over a divorce is inevitable. 790 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 2: She went full psycho. I thought her being baker acted 791 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:52,759 Speaker 2: would help. 792 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,879 Speaker 1: And leash the beast. That's what it did. Well. 793 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 4: Probably it's kind of shown that there's a lot more 794 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 4: going on here than you know, you expect it, or 795 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 4: anybody clearly expected. 796 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,240 Speaker 2: Right after the last update, I left her a message 797 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 2: saying that I'll be here to support her if she 798 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 2: wants me to, and that she wants her items, she 799 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 2: will have to meet me at the apartment. I figured 800 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 2: she'd read it when she got released. After she was 801 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,320 Speaker 2: released from the hospital, she texted me, I'm getting my crap. 802 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,280 Speaker 2: I told her that her old key won't work anymore, 803 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,479 Speaker 2: and then I got off work in about an hour 804 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,800 Speaker 2: and can let her grab her things. Then she replied, 805 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,040 Speaker 2: I don't think. 806 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 4: So, She said, I don't thanks out. She's a She's 807 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 4: a last of us. 808 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 1: Ah, a clicker. 809 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,280 Speaker 4: Please don't ever become a clicker. 810 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 2: Be in a horror movie. Okay, we'll never be able 811 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 2: to see you do You're pretty convincing, it is. I 812 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,919 Speaker 2: rushed home from work to find my bedroom window smashed. 813 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,759 Speaker 2: I live on the second floor with no balcony. 814 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 1: Now I'm scared you made up you made these cats 815 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: meet her into a villain dude. 816 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 4: She turned into catwoman. 817 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 2: She had broken the way and somehow climbed over the 818 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 2: outer wall to enter the window. She took her laptop, headphones, 819 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 2: and on her way out, she destroyed the cat litter box. 820 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,439 Speaker 4: And the cat tree, terrifying. 821 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 2: I also couldn't find any of their toys anywhere. Thank 822 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 2: you to those who advised me to have my sister 823 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,240 Speaker 2: wash my cats for a while. 824 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 4: Girl, get out of there. 825 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 2: I knew that was gonna happen. 826 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 4: Get out of there. 827 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 2: The cats are safe with her, and she doesn't know 828 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 2: where my sister lives. I called her and she instantly 829 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 2: declined the call and texted me what I told her 830 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,920 Speaker 2: to pay to replace what she damaged. She tried to 831 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,919 Speaker 2: be clever by responding with no amount of money could 832 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 2: fix what damage you caused. I didn't take anything either. 833 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 2: You owed me a new laptop for what for the 834 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 2: cat stepping on it? 835 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,360 Speaker 1: What a dumb idiot. 836 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 4: No, I didn't even break the laptop. 837 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,719 Speaker 1: I think she's like, oh, I didn't take anything. By 838 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: the way, where's my laptop? Like I've someone stole my laptop? 839 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:58,880 Speaker 1: You eat? You buy me anyone? 840 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,759 Speaker 2: I never even mentioned, and her laptop was gone, so 841 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,680 Speaker 2: it's obvious she was lying yet again. Thankfully, we have 842 00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 2: a tile account that let's just track items, and we 843 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 2: both have tiles in our cars. I found her car 844 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 2: in a Walmart parking lot and through the window I 845 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 2: could see all the stolen items, along with her laptop 846 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,839 Speaker 2: and headphones. I just straight up called the police at 847 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 2: this point. Long story short, we're gonna be spending a 848 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,480 Speaker 2: lot of time in court, mental illnesses or not. I 849 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 2: have no sympathy for her anymore. She broke into my apartment, 850 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,400 Speaker 2: stole my crap, lied about it, try to get me 851 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,200 Speaker 2: to pay for her crap. That's ignoring the fact that 852 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,359 Speaker 2: she destroyed the litter box and cat tree. I'm one 853 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,720 Speaker 2: hundred percent of certain that if the cats were home, 854 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 2: she would have hurt, unlived, or kidnapped them. I do 855 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,240 Speaker 2: know that divorce is guarantee. I'd also like a restraining 856 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,920 Speaker 2: order and money back for the damage. Yeah, but that 857 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:51,879 Speaker 2: might be too much. 858 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,160 Speaker 4: I you should get all those things, but first off, 859 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,080 Speaker 4: you gotta get a restraining order. That's the most important, 860 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 4: Holy count, cause she's a look crazy. 861 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 2: I'm just so done. I feel defeated. I didn't even 862 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,400 Speaker 2: want to update I haven't had the will to do 863 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,000 Speaker 2: much of anything. I have even called out a work 864 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,320 Speaker 2: for multiple days in a row. I just lay around 865 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,920 Speaker 2: the house thinking of what I could have done differently. 866 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 2: Was there a better ending for everyone? We have some comments. 867 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 4: No, I don't think there was anything you could do differently. 868 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 4: She was lying, Yeah, how to full mental breakdown. 869 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 2: I think the only different thing you could have done 870 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 2: is had dogs. 871 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess so. But even then she would have 872 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:30,240 Speaker 4: you know, they would have done something ther fan fiction. 873 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,399 Speaker 4: She would have crashed out. 874 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 2: They would have barked and told her to write a 875 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:34,439 Speaker 2: better one. 876 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 4: Yeah. 877 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,879 Speaker 2: Comments from op. I've officially moved as of a few 878 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 2: days ago. I'm currently paying rent at two places because 879 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,200 Speaker 2: the place I live at I had to sign a 880 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,319 Speaker 2: contract that if I were to leave before the lease ended, 881 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,719 Speaker 2: that I needed to continue to pay rent until the 882 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,840 Speaker 2: assigned date. It's expensive, but I'm safe. I already handed 883 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,239 Speaker 2: the keys over to the complex and they confirmed with 884 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,880 Speaker 2: me that is of a few days ago, I'm no 885 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 2: longer responsible for the state of the so Luckily, if 886 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,560 Speaker 2: she damages anything or breaks in from this point forward, 887 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 2: I won't be held accountable financially. You have an update 888 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,640 Speaker 2: one and a half months later. 889 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,600 Speaker 4: Oh, I hope it just gets better. Yeah, I hope 890 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,440 Speaker 4: everything's going much better for you. Yeah, that's my desire 891 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 4: for you. 892 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,160 Speaker 2: So update one and a half months later, it's been 893 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,280 Speaker 2: a while. I'm doing better. For anyone curious. My cats 894 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,000 Speaker 2: and I have moved into a new place and only 895 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 2: my side of the family knows where I live. I've 896 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:32,799 Speaker 2: documented everything, and I finally feel safe. She contacted my 897 00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,359 Speaker 2: family by showing up at their home and threatening to 898 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,439 Speaker 2: sue me and fight a legal batter for ownership over 899 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,319 Speaker 2: my cats unless they told her where I moved to. 900 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,839 Speaker 2: Trying to get the fanfit cat. 901 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 4: Yeah, she's like, I need it's too good, I need 902 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:48,440 Speaker 4: that cat. 903 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 2: Yes, she threatened to fight for custody of my cats 904 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,960 Speaker 2: that she mistreated. I have no idea why my family 905 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,359 Speaker 2: didn't fold, because she basically threatened them with than an 906 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 2: easy win for me. Quite a few people that once 907 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,280 Speaker 2: sided with her are now apologizing to me after seeing 908 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 2: how she's been acting. I'd quit my job because she 909 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 2: kept causing trouble for the company, and they gave me 910 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 2: the option to either quit on my own terms or 911 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 2: be fired. I have a new and better job that 912 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 2: no one else knows about a lot of friends and 913 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,200 Speaker 2: family are here to support me and get nervous when 914 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:26,240 Speaker 2: I get anonymous calls, but I overall feel much happier 915 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,720 Speaker 2: now I even have someone interested in me. But honestly, 916 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,719 Speaker 2: I still need time before I consider anything of the sort. 917 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, no need to rush every. 918 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,040 Speaker 2: Time I see someone get out of a relationship and 919 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,319 Speaker 2: be like, but there's someone already talking to me, and 920 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,920 Speaker 2: like pumped up breaks? 921 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 4: Pumped up breaks? 922 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,320 Speaker 1: Do some you time? 923 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:43,960 Speaker 2: They you? 924 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 4: So? 925 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I get it. 926 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,920 Speaker 4: Unless unless, unless you don't need that. 927 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 2: I don't even see a scenario where that could happen. 928 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:50,880 Speaker 1: What do you need? 929 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 4: No, I'm fine, I took time, but some people, some 930 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:54,879 Speaker 4: people don't need time. 931 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,440 Speaker 2: I don't see like how you can get out of 932 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,239 Speaker 2: a relationship and then be with someone else. That makes 933 00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:58,640 Speaker 2: no sense. 934 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,400 Speaker 4: I think sometimes it works for some people. 935 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,759 Speaker 2: Like who who? You're Stop looking at me? I don't 936 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 2: know who. Never mind, I don't want to drag someone 937 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 2: else through into stocking drama. Thank you to those who 938 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,680 Speaker 2: ask for an update and who have supported me. I'm 939 00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,120 Speaker 2: sure this will be my last update unless something else 940 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,560 Speaker 2: whacky happens. Peace and we have another update. 941 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 4: And there you go. 942 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,800 Speaker 1: Update number five, I've married one of my cats. 943 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:23,239 Speaker 2: Yeah. 944 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,040 Speaker 4: I hope it just gets better and better for you. 945 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,760 Speaker 2: Oh, I guess it works for a lot of people. Yeah, 946 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,760 Speaker 2: someone to get directly. 947 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: Into some people. The best way to get over somebody 948 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: is to get on top of somebody. 949 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 4: Okay, no, no, no, no, not that way. Yeah, no, 950 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,359 Speaker 4: not to get over someone if you're over that person. 951 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 2: I just need one real life example under somebody and 952 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,840 Speaker 2: then I could maybe see this point of view. I 953 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,600 Speaker 2: guess we'll be looking Update five, four months later. I 954 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 2: didn't plan on ever updating again, nor ever looking at 955 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 2: this account again. That being said, a bunch of people 956 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,799 Speaker 2: on YouTube, hiktok and Twitter similarly read my post to 957 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,400 Speaker 2: their audiences recently, so out of nowhere emails were flooded 958 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,000 Speaker 2: with notifications from this account. 959 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,160 Speaker 1: Thanks. I mean, actually, you're welcome. 960 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:09,880 Speaker 4: You're welcome. 961 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 2: Not really what I wanted to deal with being reminded 962 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,799 Speaker 2: of the messy events I went through, but it is 963 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 2: what it is. An update is neither happy nor sad. Honestly, 964 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 2: nobody really wont here. My cats were hurt and frightened 965 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,160 Speaker 2: by all of this, having been kicked at moving from 966 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 2: place to place, losing someone that they for a long 967 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,960 Speaker 2: time considered their mother. They haven't been as playful as 968 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,359 Speaker 2: they used to be, and the youngest one had been 969 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,880 Speaker 2: urinating all around the house. The vet said it's a 970 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,239 Speaker 2: behavioral thing. Due to what happened, Max's wife has been homeless, 971 00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:47,040 Speaker 2: CouchSurfing wherever she can. All I know is from a 972 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,800 Speaker 2: mutual friend. She got into a substance usage from someone 973 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,439 Speaker 2: who let her stay at her place. And I don't 974 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,920 Speaker 2: even need to explain how that negatively impacted her, considering 975 00:42:58,280 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 2: she clearly already had issues. 976 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,360 Speaker 4: Oh that's yeah. I mean, clearly she's gone through something 977 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:04,799 Speaker 4: and there's not much that you can do. 978 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,799 Speaker 2: I don't know much else other and she never got 979 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 2: mentally helped because she refused it when offered. She also 980 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,440 Speaker 2: apparently uses an altered telling of the events as a 981 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:17,239 Speaker 2: way of gaining sympathy from people. I myself have a 982 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,839 Speaker 2: decent newer job after I had to quit my old 983 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,200 Speaker 2: one because of her. I lost all of those amazing 984 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,680 Speaker 2: benefits in great pay. Luckily, I have a new girlfriend, 985 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,439 Speaker 2: no man. 986 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,319 Speaker 4: Moving on quick. So for you, I don't know how 987 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:31,839 Speaker 4: long was it. 988 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 2: They were together for ten years, but how long I 989 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 2: would say about six months later. 990 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 4: Ten years and ends badly, a. 991 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,040 Speaker 2: New girlfriend and they're divorced. 992 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,360 Speaker 4: If it's six months after they've. 993 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,239 Speaker 2: Been separated, not divorce separated, it's not crazy soon. If 994 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 2: it's six months, then there have been other issues before that. 995 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,239 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. I think that that's the thing. 996 00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 4: I think oftentimes when you sometimes have the more successful ones, 997 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,759 Speaker 4: it's usually like relationship hasn't been working out for a 998 00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,359 Speaker 4: minut it and you're already kind of emotionally checked out, 999 00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 4: and then you break up and it's like, I'm already 1000 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,760 Speaker 4: like halfway over this person. 1001 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,080 Speaker 2: We've been debating on dating for a while, and a 1002 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,799 Speaker 2: few weeks back we decided to try it. We're having 1003 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 2: fun for the most part, but I still have bouts 1004 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,720 Speaker 2: of anxiety interest issues after everything that happened. 1005 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, which is why I mean usually I wouldn't recommend 1006 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 4: jumping into it. 1007 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, but be careful anything else. I mean, he's got 1008 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 2: a girlfriend, he's got a new job. 1009 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,440 Speaker 4: I think, just to keep having conversations with your girlfriend 1010 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,400 Speaker 4: about where you're at mentally, because if you're not completely 1011 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,240 Speaker 4: honest about all of those anxieties and stuff that you're thinking, 1012 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,920 Speaker 4: it's not going to go well, because this is pretty 1013 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,480 Speaker 4: soon after a ten year relationship that did not end well, 1014 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 4: and so you gotta be really on top of it. 1015 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have moved on this quart Yeah, well, he says. 1016 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 2: When she first told me she saw my cat urinating 1017 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,120 Speaker 2: on the carpet, I almost had a parent attack. It 1018 00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 2: started questioning her. 1019 00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,600 Speaker 4: You're like, what do I have to say about my cats? 1020 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,680 Speaker 2: I've been writing any fan fiction recently. 1021 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:56,879 Speaker 4: He just starts quizzing her. 1022 00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 2: After calm down, I felt terrible. I've been going to 1023 00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,440 Speaker 2: therapy and I've recently started meds for mental health issues 1024 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,600 Speaker 2: likely caused by all this, So hopefully I'll be back 1025 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,480 Speaker 2: to normal some points to it. As you can see, 1026 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 2: nobody won. Everyone is struggling in some way. It sucks, 1027 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 2: but it is what it is. I guess I really 1028 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,120 Speaker 2: don't want to focus on this much further. I'm going 1029 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 2: to keep notifications on for maybe like a day or so, 1030 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,600 Speaker 2: then I'm turning them off and probably never coming back 1031 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,880 Speaker 2: here again. I'm sorry if this update isn't what do 1032 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 2: you hope for, but it is what it is, and 1033 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 2: we do have some cat tax go TECs. 1034 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,360 Speaker 1: There is the picture of the cats. 1035 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,239 Speaker 2: Oh, check it out, go to my thing, go to 1036 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,960 Speaker 2: the All is so cute. 1037 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story. 1038 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,440 Speaker 2: Yep, Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to 1039 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,520 Speaker 2: the stories. Put a quick three. 1040 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,680 Speaker 3: Minute ad break from our sponsors that keep the show going. 1041 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,680 Speaker 4: My husband extended his trip and left me scrambling with 1042 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 4: three kids. 1043 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,280 Speaker 2: Sounds like you can handle it, though. 1044 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,920 Speaker 4: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay story Time. 1045 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 4: Separate it. I feel like I'm losing my mind from 1046 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,320 Speaker 4: the way my husband just reacted to me. My female 1047 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:03,120 Speaker 4: thirty eight, it's been forty two of twenty years, is 1048 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 4: obsessed with hunting. He picked up the hobby about eight 1049 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,759 Speaker 4: to nine years ago. Every fall I can count on 1050 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,680 Speaker 4: him being out hunting pretty much any time he can. 1051 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:13,719 Speaker 4: It was hard for me to adjust to this at 1052 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,799 Speaker 4: first because I'm very anti pepews and because we have 1053 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:20,320 Speaker 4: three kids with busy lives, ages nine, eleven, and fourteen. 1054 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Inside Classic ninety seven 1055 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:24,799 Speaker 4: to seventy nine, and if you want to submit your 1056 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,040 Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subvert it. 1057 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,040 Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice. Goofley, but we don't 1058 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,160 Speaker 4: have all the answers. We only know what we do, 1059 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,680 Speaker 4: so let us know what you would do in the comments, 1060 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,320 Speaker 4: and Opie says, but I've accepted that this is important 1061 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 4: to him, and I've worked hard to pick up the 1062 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,920 Speaker 4: extra slack on weekends when he's busy doing his thing. 1063 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,719 Speaker 4: About four years ago he started going out west to 1064 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:48,040 Speaker 4: hunt in the fall. He's going out wished and staying 1065 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 4: anywhere from one week to two months, depending on his 1066 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,480 Speaker 4: work flexibility. Immedia. 1067 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,719 Speaker 2: Now, dude, are you have three kids? Yeah, no, I 1068 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,520 Speaker 2: get maybe two to three weeks. 1069 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,840 Speaker 4: Even then two to three weeks, leaving young kids behind. 1070 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 2: Yeah no, that's two months. 1071 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,200 Speaker 1: Hunting for that long? 1072 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:10,040 Speaker 4: What is he hunting? Bigfoot? He better alright, better better 1073 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:10,520 Speaker 4: catch him. 1074 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,760 Speaker 2: Here's my thing. If you're out there hunting for that long, 1075 00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,440 Speaker 2: you better bring back a year worth of supply of me. Absolutely, 1076 00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 2: so we don't have to worry about going to better. 1077 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:23,840 Speaker 1: See ten bucks to Buffalo oneeh one t rex. 1078 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 4: Even when you know people were hunting for food, like 1079 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:32,879 Speaker 4: and that was like a necessity for just everyone. Yeah, well, 1080 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,160 Speaker 4: weren't going for two months. It's just like maybe a week. 1081 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:37,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's a leisure thing. 1082 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:38,560 Speaker 1: Were you there? 1083 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:39,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a leisure thing. 1084 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,479 Speaker 1: You're right. 1085 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,880 Speaker 2: The way my family does it is we have land 1086 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,560 Speaker 2: where we live and we go, like you know, we 1087 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,120 Speaker 2: do it like from six It goes like five am 1088 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:52,600 Speaker 2: to like noon on Saturdays, and then whatever we you know, get, 1089 00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,200 Speaker 2: we bring it back and we have it for the year. 1090 00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:55,840 Speaker 1: My family does that. I think they do it like 1091 00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,040 Speaker 1: maybe the Friday to Sunday if they really do a 1092 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,440 Speaker 1: long weekend. But they do so, they tell their families 1093 00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,600 Speaker 1: in advance, like very far into avancage. 1094 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,359 Speaker 4: I can't imagine any more than a week. 1095 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,759 Speaker 2: This is like vacation time I did this year. 1096 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,440 Speaker 4: He's scheduled to go one week in September and another 1097 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,360 Speaker 4: week in November. No big deal. I handled the kids 1098 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,120 Speaker 4: solo most of the time anyway, clearly, and there were 1099 00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,720 Speaker 4: no major things planned that he would miss. This summer, 1100 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,640 Speaker 4: my eleven year old started having anxiety about being away 1101 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,440 Speaker 4: from home overnight. She actually had two panic attacks on 1102 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:27,080 Speaker 4: different occasions, and I'm working with her and her doctor 1103 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,440 Speaker 4: on coping mechanisms. I had that I couldn't have sleepovers 1104 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,200 Speaker 4: when I was twelve because I got too anxious, and 1105 00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,480 Speaker 4: then my mom had to pick me up at one 1106 00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 4: in the morning. And that happened for a whole year, 1107 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,839 Speaker 4: and then one day I just got over it. It's 1108 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,960 Speaker 4: been difficult and really overwhelming as a mom. My husband 1109 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,719 Speaker 4: really hasn't engaged in it at all. She has a 1110 00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,000 Speaker 4: two night class trip coming up just a few days 1111 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,200 Speaker 4: after my husband was scheduled to get back from his 1112 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,480 Speaker 4: trip in September. In the past, this would not have 1113 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,439 Speaker 4: been a problem, but given her recent difficulties, I talked 1114 00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,880 Speaker 4: to my husband and I volunteered to be a shopper 1115 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,880 Speaker 4: own on the trip so that she wouldn't have to worry. 1116 00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:59,920 Speaker 4: My husband knew about it all, and we agreed it 1117 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 4: would be best. Fast forward to tonight, a week after 1118 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,239 Speaker 4: he and I talked about it. I was confirming with 1119 00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 4: him that he would get off work in time to 1120 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,799 Speaker 4: pick our youngest up from school while I'm away, when 1121 00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,160 Speaker 4: he looks at me and says, you know I'm staying 1122 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,359 Speaker 4: for two weeks, right, I requested another week off leave 1123 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,600 Speaker 4: and it got approved. Oh man, I think my mouth 1124 00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,920 Speaker 4: actually dropped open. I pulled up our shared calendar and 1125 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,440 Speaker 4: it was showing the old dates I told him he 1126 00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,200 Speaker 4: never told me, and I think I sounded a little panicked. 1127 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,600 Speaker 4: He aggressively responded with, well, you never talk to me, 1128 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,399 Speaker 4: so when would I tell you I have to stay 1129 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,319 Speaker 4: longer to make it worth going all the way out there? 1130 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,839 Speaker 2: Oh boy, when is. 1131 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,880 Speaker 4: She supposed to talk to you? You're gone all the 1132 00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:40,160 Speaker 4: time to hunt. 1133 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're probably gone all the time to work. 1134 00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1135 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't really think you guys got to marriage here. 1136 00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 4: I don't. I mean, doesn't seem like he's a parent. 1137 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 4: How much does he actually parent your kids? 1138 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:50,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like. 1139 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 4: You were kind of a solo parent. 1140 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,760 Speaker 2: And how much time you guys like spinning together alone? 1141 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:54,520 Speaker 2: Quality time? 1142 00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,000 Speaker 4: Like whenever it seems like whenever he can get time off, 1143 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,279 Speaker 4: he spends it alone, not with you, the dear. I 1144 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,760 Speaker 4: instantly switched into problem solving modes, staring at the calendar 1145 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:07,080 Speaker 4: and trying to figure it out. He kept saying, what 1146 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,400 Speaker 4: what now? I started to talk about how I'll have 1147 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,840 Speaker 4: to find someone for two kids to stay with, but 1148 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 4: it will have to be two different families because they're 1149 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,160 Speaker 4: in two different schools. Well, I'm stressing about the logistics. 1150 00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:20,200 Speaker 4: He responds, like, it's settled. Yeah, just ask random family 1151 00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,120 Speaker 4: we know. Then he walks out of the room. 1152 00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:22,720 Speaker 2: Nice. 1153 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I don't. 1154 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:25,960 Speaker 2: Know if this is a problem solved. 1155 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:28,880 Speaker 4: I don't know if this is going to continue. I followed, 1156 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,759 Speaker 4: still thinking I must have looked worried. Maybe that's what 1157 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,680 Speaker 4: prompted him to say, would I do now? They're always 1158 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,440 Speaker 4: mad at me. I honestly didn't even choo out. I 1159 00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,520 Speaker 4: wanted to be mad, but I know better than to 1160 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,840 Speaker 4: lose my temper when he pulls stuff like this anymore. 1161 00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,560 Speaker 4: So he was reacting to just my stress over trying 1162 00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,680 Speaker 4: to solve the problem. Oh, there is a little left 1163 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 4: to the story. You're one of our own. This is 1164 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,600 Speaker 4: not okay for him to be doing. This is unacceptable behavior. 1165 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,799 Speaker 4: It seems like he is not pulling his weight as 1166 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,640 Speaker 4: a parent or as a partner. If you agreed on 1167 00:50:56,719 --> 00:51:00,879 Speaker 4: something that he should follow through, not you to know 1168 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,160 Speaker 4: that he changed the plans on you. I think you 1169 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,799 Speaker 4: have to have a very serious conversation with him. You 1170 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:10,720 Speaker 4: can't do this without letting me know because we're co parenting, 1171 00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,000 Speaker 4: we're partners. 1172 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,440 Speaker 2: And I think we can kind of see the state 1173 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,520 Speaker 2: of this relationship when he asks his work for another 1174 00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,359 Speaker 2: week off and not coming to you first and game 1175 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:20,959 Speaker 2: planning Hey, what if I got. 1176 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's talking to you at all, 1177 00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,239 Speaker 4: not talking to you about the kids, doesn't seem to 1178 00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,160 Speaker 4: care about the kids or what happens to them, just 1179 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,600 Speaker 4: expects you to figure it out. I feel like I'm crazy. 1180 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,120 Speaker 4: How am I the bad guy in this story? You're not. 1181 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,399 Speaker 4: I'm taking the kids into bed now, and I don't 1182 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,319 Speaker 4: even want to go to my bed tonight because I'll 1183 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,279 Speaker 4: have to rehash this again when I see him. I'm 1184 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,040 Speaker 4: sure it's one thing to be so insensitive that you 1185 00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 4: schedule being away from home for an extra week when 1186 00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:46,840 Speaker 4: you're supposed to watch your kids without telling anyone, But 1187 00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,040 Speaker 4: it's even worse when you add in guilt tripping your 1188 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 4: partner over it somehow. And that is the end of 1189 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:52,600 Speaker 4: that story, folks. 1190 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:57,160 Speaker 2: But yeah, thanks goodness, gracious, good luck. Yeah, good freaking 1191 00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,920 Speaker 2: luck with that. Like, I think it's time for bigger conversation. 1192 00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:05,239 Speaker 4: Yes, big conversation, big change, or this is not gonna work. 1193 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,040 Speaker 2: If I found myself in this situation and I was 1194 00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,520 Speaker 2: taking care of the kids and my wife was out 1195 00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:14,960 Speaker 2: going to fashion extravaganzlos all the time, like, babe, we gotta, 1196 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,880 Speaker 2: we gotta be us. Yeah, gotta rekindle what we have 1197 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,200 Speaker 2: here because if we don't got to work. I think 1198 00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 2: this is a relationship. 1199 00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,840 Speaker 1: We gott to rewire this relationship because it ain't working 1200 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:24,080 Speaker 1: like that. 1201 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 2: Boom, just like that. 1202 00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,319 Speaker 4: That's the end of that story. And we've have some 1203 00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:31,200 Speaker 4: comments from another video of ours. Wow, oh my wife 1204 00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,320 Speaker 4: cheated and now wants an open marriage. And this was 1205 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,680 Speaker 4: posted on September tenth, twenty twenty five. The TLDR for 1206 00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:41,120 Speaker 4: this story is op thirty three. Mail forgave his wife 1207 00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,480 Speaker 4: thirty female after she cheated years ago, but now she 1208 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,399 Speaker 4: wants an open marriage. Opie agreed, only to find out 1209 00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:50,279 Speaker 4: she's been secretly hooking up with her best friend Chris 1210 00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,840 Speaker 4: all along. Now Opie's done and divorce is on the table, 1211 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,680 Speaker 4: but his wife is begging for another chance. If you're 1212 00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:58,880 Speaker 4: curious to know the full story, you can go watch 1213 00:52:58,920 --> 00:52:59,520 Speaker 4: the full video. 1214 00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,320 Speaker 1: But we have common number one by Bob d Shred 1215 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,160 Speaker 1: eight ninety four. The woman cheated on her husband and 1216 00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,360 Speaker 1: us now trying to find a way to cheat more. 1217 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:11,719 Speaker 1: Open marriage is not the way to fix her cheating. Yeah, 1218 00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,520 Speaker 1: and common number two by Rachel v K. How can 1219 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,440 Speaker 1: an open marriage still be considered a marriage. It sounded 1220 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,359 Speaker 1: like people are diluting themselves. It sounds like something that 1221 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,839 Speaker 1: can't work out in the long run. These people need 1222 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,800 Speaker 1: to get therapy, not spicy sleep with other people, which 1223 00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,280 Speaker 1: only compounds the problem. 1224 00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,280 Speaker 4: You can't have an open marriage when you're already halfway 1225 00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:31,719 Speaker 4: out the door. 1226 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:33,360 Speaker 2: You can only have an open marriage if you have 1227 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:36,520 Speaker 2: Google calendars and great structure. 1228 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:39,799 Speaker 1: And great communication, great communication and trust. And it's like 1229 00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: the most communication. Because there are people in our community 1230 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:48,520 Speaker 1: who do open marriages or are polly and they say 1231 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,880 Speaker 1: communication is like, yeah, you can make it work, not 1232 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:55,040 Speaker 1: even it's like the biggest key to the entire thing. 1233 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,120 Speaker 1: And trust. It's a lot. But this is not for everyone. 1234 00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,200 Speaker 1: It's not for everyone. And we have a third and 1235 00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:03,120 Speaker 1: here by World Domination ninety two. In my opinion, I 1236 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,880 Speaker 1: don't think you can open a closed relationship, especially if 1237 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,680 Speaker 1: it's been monogamous for a considerable length of time or 1238 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,360 Speaker 1: even began as monogamous, without going through professional counseling first. 1239 00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:15,759 Speaker 1: In separate and couples, it's such a fundamental change in 1240 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,600 Speaker 1: the dynamics. I think it warrants exploring the home truths 1241 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:22,640 Speaker 1: about each other and the relationship that might facilitate this change. 1242 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:26,160 Speaker 1: I think casually bouncing into or expecting one party to 1243 00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,279 Speaker 1: jump into it puts them on the spot, and I 1244 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,279 Speaker 1: don't think it's the healthiest way to begin this new 1245 00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,160 Speaker 1: foundation of their relationship. 1246 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,560 Speaker 2: I agreed, agreed, that's not a RelA. That's not a foundation, 1247 00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,320 Speaker 2: not a very sturdy foundation. 1248 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,719 Speaker 4: Really shaky. But that's the end of that story and 1249 00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,799 Speaker 4: those comments and the end of this episode. So if 1250 00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,279 Speaker 4: you love us, make sure to subscribe. 1251 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,239 Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.