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Speaker 1: First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys

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Speaker 1: online at advocuslaw dot com.

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Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone today for our first Date

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Speaker 2: follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Lena,

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Speaker 2: and in a few minutes we're gonna call her seems

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Speaker 2: to tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe get

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Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, how long has it

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Speaker 2: been since you heard from her?

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Speaker 3: You know, it's been like a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: That's definitely a ghosting. Yeah, So how many times have

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Speaker 1: you reached out to her.

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Speaker 4: In that time?

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Speaker 3: You know, just a few times. I don't like to

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Speaker 3: like text too much, you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 3: you like, I think three times I text her and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, that's I'm not doing any more than that.

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Speaker 1: So what do you Let's go back to the date then, like,

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Speaker 1: how did you guys meet? What happened on the date?

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Speaker 3: So we met on Hinge and then I felt like

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Speaker 3: a really good connection. We both love concerts and like

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Speaker 3: new adventures and trying new things, traveling and stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: and like she's very witty and she's very interesting. She's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: So we went to a burger spot on the water hic. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, it was a lot of fun. Like it

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Speaker 3: was nice, like kind of outside kind of area, and

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Speaker 3: we were having some drinks, you know, just talking and

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Speaker 3: afterwards we went and walked around and like kind of

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Speaker 3: took in the scenery and we you know, we had

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Speaker 3: a really great kiss. And it was just like, I

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Speaker 3: don't understand why she goes to me because it felt

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Speaker 3: so romantic and like idealized, you know. I mean maybe

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Speaker 3: some people would think it's cheesy. I don't know, but

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Speaker 3: that's what I was looking for.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds romantic actually, So after all this time,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's ghosting you two weeks later, the date

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Speaker 1: sounds great, But what is it about her that makes

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Speaker 1: you want to see her now?

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Speaker 3: You know? I just felt like I had a real connection.

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Speaker 3: We were like kind of similar goals. We both want

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Speaker 3: to travel. I just felt like we went well together.

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Speaker 1: Did something happen on the date at all that may

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Speaker 1: have made it go in a different direction?

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Speaker 3: Well, I will say, you know, something kind of not

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Speaker 3: popular now is I had made a decision recently to

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Speaker 3: abstain from sex until marriage.

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Speaker 4: Okay, and you told her this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I did, And this is new. You have

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Speaker 3: I'm always urged.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, right, and you think maybe she had a

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Speaker 2: problem with that because she's like I need you right now.

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Speaker 4: Ryan.

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Speaker 3: It's you know, it's possible because like I don't think

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Speaker 3: that's the thing that's common now, Like, you know, some

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Speaker 3: people do it, but it's like, especially you know here,

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Speaker 3: like I don't feel like that's one of those things

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Speaker 3: that people do anymore. But the reason why I kind

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Speaker 3: of went that direction is, you know, I slept around

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Speaker 3: and it felt empty, and it felt like I was

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Speaker 3: just kind of using girls for their body and I

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Speaker 3: wasn't connecting right, you know, and it's one of those

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Speaker 3: things after a while, you're like, gosh, like what do

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Speaker 3: I really want? So, you know, I asked myself when

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Speaker 3: I was like, I want somebody that I could build

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Speaker 3: a future with, and I feel like Lana has that potential.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I can respect that.

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Speaker 2: I heard my last breakup, I decided that I wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to give myself to anybody unless I thought that

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Speaker 2: their energy was good, you know, or that like it

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Speaker 2: wasn't necessarily a marriage thing, but it was kind of

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Speaker 2: the same thing, but it was more about I don't

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Speaker 2: want to like mix my energy with bad energy, you know,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like it does. I feel like you

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Speaker 2: know you do do it does somehow become a part

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Speaker 2: of you. Well, you exchanged more than just what you

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Speaker 2: can see. That energy is also exchanged between the two

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Speaker 2: of you. So fair, fair, for fair points for both

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Speaker 2: of you. Look at you, guys.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, because that's for sure. I'm maturing right.

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Speaker 2: Everybody connections to So why do you think she's ghosting you?

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Speaker 5: Then?

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Speaker 3: I think, you know, I just don't know if she

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Speaker 3: was comfortable with that. I mean that's my thought, but like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know for sure because everything else went pretty well.

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Speaker 3: But when I said that, she she didn't have a

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Speaker 3: bad reaction, but it was just kind of like she

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Speaker 3: tended up a little bit, you know, and then it

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Speaker 3: kind of like pat that moment passed. So I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I guess it's fine.

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Speaker 4: We'll see if we can figure it out for you.

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Speaker 2: Then we'll play a song come back, and then call

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Speaker 2: her and see if she'll tell us why she's ghosting

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Speaker 2: you and maybe get you another date.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, sounds great.

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Speaker 4: All right, man, please don't come back. Get your first

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Speaker 4: DA follow up.

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Speaker 2: Next Right in the middle of the first day follow

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Speaker 2: up and if you're just joining us.

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Speaker 4: Ryan is on the phone.

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Speaker 2: He's getting ghosted by Lana and in a minute we're

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Speaker 2: gonna call her see if us why she's ghosting him

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Speaker 2: and maybe get him another date. But first, Ryan, why

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Speaker 2: don't you recap to everybody your situation.

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Speaker 3: So I met Lana on Hinge. We connected really quickly.

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Speaker 3: I felt like a good connection with her loss of

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Speaker 3: similar andris. We went to a burger spot on the water,

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Speaker 3: had a bunch of cocktails and had a lot of fun,

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Speaker 3: and we went for a walk. We kissed. Everything seemed perfect,

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Speaker 3: But I feel like, maybe because I want to stain

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Speaker 3: from sex and until marriage because of my past, that

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Speaker 3: she might be ghosting me.

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Speaker 4: Okay, are you ready for us to call her?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Okay, here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Alana. Please.

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Speaker 3: This is Lana.

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Speaker 2: Hi Lana, how are you? My name is Jewbell and

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Speaker 2: I host a radio show. It's called The Jewbel Show.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Lana, the whole show's here. I'm Nina. Hi, I'm Victoria.

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Speaker 4: How are you?

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Speaker 5: Hi?

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Speaker 4: Good?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 4: Have you ever heard the show before?

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Speaker 3: I have not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll let you know something. We do a segment

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Speaker 2: on our show, it's called the first date follow up.

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Speaker 2: What that is is if you go out on a

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Speaker 2: date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person

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Speaker 2: can email us to get you on the phone and

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Speaker 2: ask why you're ghosting them. So we got an email

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Speaker 2: about you.

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Speaker 5: Oh and this is from Ryan.

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Speaker 4: Oh, yes it is Wowy. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you will say another name, so we know they're

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Speaker 2: ghosting multiple people. But you're obviously just ghosting Ryan right now.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 5: I would say that I have not exactly been ghosting Ryan.

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Speaker 5: That wasn't my intention. I was taking time to process

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Speaker 5: what he told me. At the end of our date.

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Speaker 5: Ryan said that he is waiting until marriage, and that

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Speaker 5: is not something that I've ever done in a relationship.

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Speaker 5: I have always had intimacy with all of my partners

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Speaker 5: and it's a really big part of a relationship for me.

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Speaker 3: So it was not my.

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Speaker 5: Intention to completely ghost Ryan. I really was trying to

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Speaker 5: take time to think about if this could be something

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Speaker 5: that would work for me. I had such a good time. Yes,

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Speaker 5: it was so magical, and he's such a spiritual guy

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Speaker 5: and we really connected. I felt like he was really

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Speaker 5: seeing me. But I'm afraid that if we get into

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Speaker 5: this relationship without you know, the intimacy that I'm.

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Speaker 3: Usual will one.

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Speaker 5: This sounds bad, but what if we're not good together

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Speaker 5: physically and.

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Speaker 3: We find out too?

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Speaker 4: That's fair.

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Speaker 3: And another thing that I have been thinking.

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Speaker 5: About is what if it becomes something that gives me,

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Speaker 5: you know, reason to stray, our thoughts to stray because

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Speaker 5: I am a sexual person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're processing a lot of different things.

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Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, I.

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Speaker 4: Can understand that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's not something that you hear all the time,

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Speaker 1: and especially if that's a way that you connect and

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Speaker 1: share yourself with another person. And then that's a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure too, right because you're like, wait a second,

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Speaker 1: so we're doing this, I'm gonna get excited and want

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Speaker 1: to unwrap the present, but I.

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Speaker 2: Can't marry you. So what if we could convince Ryan

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Speaker 2: to sleep with you before you're married? Would you swallow

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Speaker 2: them again?

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Speaker 4: But would you?

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Speaker 5: I would love to sleep with Ryan, But if this

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Speaker 5: is a boundary that he is setting I and I

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Speaker 5: were to get into a relationship with him, I would

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Speaker 5: I would want to respect that. I would not once

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Speaker 5: I am in the relationship, I would not. I would

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Speaker 5: have given up any plans to sleep with Ryan what if.

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Speaker 4: We could convince him to go back on his morals? Though,

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Speaker 4: do ball she's.

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Speaker 1: Respecting his boundaries, maybe you should respect his boundaries.

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Speaker 2: I'll respect his boundaries for now, Lona. Ryan is actually

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Speaker 2: on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

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Speaker 5: Oh hi Ryan.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's probably like the most awkward way

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Speaker 3: we could meet again. But I want to say, first

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Speaker 3: of all, I respect that, like you respect my boundaries.

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Speaker 3: It was nice to hear that without you knowing I

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Speaker 3: was there, because like that, that proves to me that

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Speaker 3: if it could make it work, that this could work.

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Speaker 3: But I just want to say, like for me, I

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Speaker 3: don't see intimacy as just there's physical, emotional, mental intimacy

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Speaker 3: that can be built, Like you know, we can have

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Speaker 3: days where we just cuddle, his collapse, like all that's

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Speaker 3: on the the table. Still, I'm just not trying to

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Speaker 3: think it all the way.

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Speaker 4: So like where do you draw the line?

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's something that we have to discuss, right.

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Speaker 3: I respect that, and that.

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Speaker 5: Does make me excited to hear that you have interest

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Speaker 5: in being intimate with me. I am My biggest concern

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Speaker 5: is still I just am really concerned of straying and

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Speaker 5: that's not your fault, not your fault at all, And

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Speaker 5: that's something that I need to decide and you know,

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Speaker 5: make a plan with my.

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Speaker 3: Morals that I will not you know, if.

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Speaker 5: We were to be in a relationship together, that I

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Speaker 5: will not feel that I'm not getting what I need

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Speaker 5: and then.

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Speaker 3: Look for what I need elsewhere. I think I can

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Speaker 3: find ways to take care of what you need at

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Speaker 3: least shorter.

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Speaker 2: Not that I'm trying to get you to rethink the

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Speaker 2: promise that you made to yourself, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: get you to rethink it. When I decided to do

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Speaker 2: this similar thing, I didn't make it about marriage because

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Speaker 2: you know, like you should really get to know somebody

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Speaker 2: for it, and it can be a long time before marriage,

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Speaker 2: so that's a long time not doing it. But me

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Speaker 2: and my therapist came up with I will not give

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Speaker 2: myself to anybody until I know I have a secure

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Speaker 2: connection with them.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's fair. I think that's a healthy

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Speaker 3: way of thinking of it.

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Speaker 1: Two.

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Speaker 2: So, cause, does it have to be like a ring

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Speaker 2: and a ceremony and all that for Ryan to get

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Speaker 2: it out?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think it has to. But there definitely

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Speaker 3: has to be that line where it's like, I know

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Speaker 3: I'm building a future with you at the very least.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of talk that we're getting

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Speaker 1: ahead of ourselves here a little bit. You guys like

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Speaker 1: each other, and I think there's definitely stuff that you

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Speaker 1: guys can explore to even see if you're gonna make

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Speaker 1: it all that way. People just tell me not to

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Speaker 1: get ahead of myself, and I feel like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: be ahead of ourselves here too, So I don't know

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Speaker 1: that there's a possibility of you getting your needs met

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Speaker 1: in a so in Waylana and Ryan, you know you're

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Speaker 1: open to exploring that stuff too.

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Speaker 4: I don't see any problems.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that would work.

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Speaker 5: I do think that it may be cheesy, but I

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Speaker 5: think that it is very sweet that you brought me

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Speaker 5: on the radio to call me for a second date.

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Speaker 5: I think that is very romantic and I'm willing to

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Speaker 5: try it.

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Speaker 3: I think that we have such a good connection.

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Speaker 2: So Lana, you'll go out with Ryan again. We'll pay

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Speaker 2: for it, I will.

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Speaker 3: I would love to see you again. Ryan, So awesome,

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Speaker 3: that's great. I'm glad to hear that. It's like it's

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys are cute. I'm excited too, me too.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Congratulations, Ryan, you did it. You got another date? All right?

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Speaker 3: Jules First Date follow up