1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:22,155 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Trump's 2 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:26,035 Speaker 1: attempt to stall his New York trial has failed. That's 3 00:00:26,075 --> 00:00:28,115 Speaker 1: the trial for claiming hush money he paid to the 4 00:00:28,155 --> 00:00:31,635 Speaker 1: porn star he cheated with on his wife three months 5 00:00:31,675 --> 00:00:36,075 Speaker 1: after she gave birth was legal expenses. The New York 6 00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:39,075 Speaker 1: trial will start thirty four counts as planned March twenty fifth, 7 00:00:39,075 --> 00:00:42,835 Speaker 1: And obviously the implications are that Trump trial Air traffic 8 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:47,275 Speaker 1: Control will now be waiving the Stormy Daniels Trump case 9 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:50,235 Speaker 1: in for a landing first, and it just told the 10 00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:53,555 Speaker 1: Trump election subversion case in DC to go round and 11 00:00:53,635 --> 00:00:58,355 Speaker 1: try to set down later. The Trump Georgia eleven eighty 12 00:00:58,435 --> 00:01:02,475 Speaker 1: votes trial is encountering some turbulence, even though the only 13 00:01:02,515 --> 00:01:06,595 Speaker 1: witness claiming any evidence of anything improper between Fannie Willis 14 00:01:06,635 --> 00:01:10,675 Speaker 1: and the extra prosecutor cannot remember how or when she 15 00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:14,635 Speaker 1: found out about the affair. And remember, the whole purpose 16 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:18,115 Speaker 1: of this is the same purpose it always is, stalling. 17 00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:22,955 Speaker 1: The Trump business fraud case has already landed and might 18 00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:26,635 Speaker 1: have deplayed yesterday in the same court building as the 19 00:01:26,715 --> 00:01:29,355 Speaker 1: Trump what did you do after your son was born? 20 00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:33,675 Speaker 1: I did Stormy Daniels case, but it didn't. We may 21 00:01:33,795 --> 00:01:36,395 Speaker 1: hear from Judge Arthur and gern with the final count 22 00:01:36,395 --> 00:01:39,075 Speaker 1: and the amount in the second New York trial as 23 00:01:39,155 --> 00:01:42,875 Speaker 1: early as today, and now the punchline to this brief 24 00:01:42,955 --> 00:01:45,875 Speaker 1: resume of all the criminal trials and other trials that 25 00:01:45,915 --> 00:01:49,795 Speaker 1: Trump is currently facing. None of that, None of that 26 00:01:50,475 --> 00:02:10,275 Speaker 1: is the current Trump legal headline. You do not get 27 00:02:10,315 --> 00:02:14,715 Speaker 1: to survive to become a seventy seven year old, deranged, 28 00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:19,675 Speaker 1: malignant narcissist without being really good at controlling your own image. 29 00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:23,195 Speaker 1: Trump's brain does not work right to him. Other people 30 00:02:23,235 --> 00:02:26,395 Speaker 1: are just furniture that can move on its own. He 31 00:02:26,435 --> 00:02:29,675 Speaker 1: has no courage, no conscience, and no conception that the 32 00:02:29,675 --> 00:02:33,795 Speaker 1: world was not created solely for him. But he's good 33 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:39,035 Speaker 1: at controlling his own image, or at least he was 34 00:02:39,595 --> 00:02:43,435 Speaker 1: until he made what could ultimately be a fatal mistake 35 00:02:44,075 --> 00:02:47,235 Speaker 1: if the rest of us just jump on it, because 36 00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:50,195 Speaker 1: as he yelled at cameras at Manhattan Criminal Court on 37 00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:53,355 Speaker 1: Center Street in New York yesterday, he made a terrible 38 00:02:53,475 --> 00:02:57,915 Speaker 1: logistical decision. Whenever Trump has talked to the media that 39 00:02:57,995 --> 00:03:01,315 Speaker 1: has been separated from him, even by those cold, imposing 40 00:03:01,635 --> 00:03:05,075 Speaker 1: silver police barricades, the one that looks like the bottom 41 00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:09,115 Speaker 1: half of a jail cell. Trump has always managed, in 42 00:03:09,195 --> 00:03:12,475 Speaker 1: that situation to position himself in a way in which 43 00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:15,795 Speaker 1: it is clear that it is the media that is 44 00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:20,675 Speaker 1: behind the half jail cell barricades and not him behind them. 45 00:03:21,155 --> 00:03:24,475 Speaker 1: It's simple, really, You stand parallel to those barricades, and 46 00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:26,235 Speaker 1: you make sure you are doing so in such a 47 00:03:26,235 --> 00:03:30,355 Speaker 1: way that only barricades in front of you are visible. 48 00:03:31,075 --> 00:03:33,555 Speaker 1: Even the taller barricades will only go up to the 49 00:03:33,595 --> 00:03:36,955 Speaker 1: belt line of even an average size man as long 50 00:03:36,995 --> 00:03:39,955 Speaker 1: as they are in front of him. Photographs of Trump 51 00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:42,595 Speaker 1: will therefore be cropped often, and even if they are not, 52 00:03:42,995 --> 00:03:47,715 Speaker 1: the barricades just look like ordinary railings. But something happened 53 00:03:47,715 --> 00:03:52,555 Speaker 1: to Trump yesterday in court. Those police barricades were in 54 00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:56,715 Speaker 1: front of him and also behind him in a kind 55 00:03:56,715 --> 00:04:02,355 Speaker 1: of loose octagon shape. Suddenly there were these half jail 56 00:04:02,555 --> 00:04:06,035 Speaker 1: cell bars in front of him as usual, but also 57 00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:11,235 Speaker 1: half jail cell bars behind him in the distance, so 58 00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:15,075 Speaker 1: that almost every photo of him and every video of 59 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,675 Speaker 1: him showed the ones in the back, and thanks to 60 00:04:18,715 --> 00:04:22,795 Speaker 1: the laws of perspective, they were even with his shoulders 61 00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:27,035 Speaker 1: or somewhat higher than his shoulders, and basically what looked 62 00:04:27,115 --> 00:04:30,795 Speaker 1: like jail cells could not be cropped out of every 63 00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:35,275 Speaker 1: photo of Trump. Just to make it worse, Trump, the 64 00:04:35,395 --> 00:04:40,715 Speaker 1: incredibly good orchestrator of his own image, exacerbated the problem somehow. 65 00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:44,755 Speaker 1: His lawyer stood behind the barricade that was placed perfectly 66 00:04:44,795 --> 00:04:47,595 Speaker 1: parallel to the two men, and Trump stood to the 67 00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:51,955 Speaker 1: lawyer's left, and perhaps without ever realizing it, he put 68 00:04:52,035 --> 00:04:56,275 Speaker 1: himself in one of the corners where the front barricade 69 00:04:56,915 --> 00:05:01,715 Speaker 1: angled backwards. So if you have not seen the picture, 70 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:07,155 Speaker 1: bars in front of Trump, a second set of bars 71 00:05:07,195 --> 00:05:10,595 Speaker 1: to the side of Trump, stretching from where he stood 72 00:05:10,675 --> 00:05:13,955 Speaker 1: to back behind him, and to the right of him, 73 00:05:14,435 --> 00:05:18,315 Speaker 1: a third set of bars which sloped back from there 74 00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:22,875 Speaker 1: in Trump's direction, and then the pista resistance, the fourth 75 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:27,635 Speaker 1: set of bars, unmistakable and unavoidable, at the height of 76 00:05:27,715 --> 00:05:36,315 Speaker 1: Trump's shoulders. Trump behind bars several times. Trump even put 77 00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:39,035 Speaker 1: his hands on the railing in front of him, and 78 00:05:39,115 --> 00:05:41,395 Speaker 1: he might as well have been shouting, get me out 79 00:05:41,435 --> 00:05:45,675 Speaker 1: of this prison, yall lousy screw. In fact, there is 80 00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:49,315 Speaker 1: one set of images. The photographer was named Timothy Clary 81 00:05:49,395 --> 00:05:52,555 Speaker 1: of Ajen's Franz Press, and he must have put his 82 00:05:52,675 --> 00:05:57,595 Speaker 1: camera over his own head because in his shots those 83 00:05:57,715 --> 00:06:02,595 Speaker 1: back bars are literally appearing as if they were above 84 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:06,155 Speaker 1: Trump's head. The show is so wide that you see 85 00:06:06,195 --> 00:06:10,275 Speaker 1: perhaps two dozen people leaning against walls and standing staring 86 00:06:10,275 --> 00:06:13,715 Speaker 1: at Trump, and then in the middle bars suggesting jail 87 00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:17,715 Speaker 1: behind him, above his head, bars suggesting jail to his right, 88 00:06:18,115 --> 00:06:21,795 Speaker 1: bars suggesting jail in front of him. Looking left to right, 89 00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:26,115 Speaker 1: you see the cop outside the barricades, Trump inside the barricades, 90 00:06:26,435 --> 00:06:32,595 Speaker 1: lawyer inside the barricades, second cop outside the barricades. Even 91 00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:36,675 Speaker 1: if it is just on an unconscious level, the photograph 92 00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:49,715 Speaker 1: screams Trump in prison, Trump behind bars, Trump guilty, Trump 93 00:06:50,355 --> 00:07:02,075 Speaker 1: the criminal, Trump indicted, Trump so indicted. Wait, so indicted. 94 00:07:03,195 --> 00:07:11,075 Speaker 2: Oh, Nancy, I'm so indicted and I just can't fight it. 95 00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:16,155 Speaker 2: I'm about to go to jail in America likes it. 96 00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:23,595 Speaker 2: I'm so indicted. My defense at they're tightened, and I 97 00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:29,635 Speaker 2: know I know the unindicted co conspirators can bite it. 98 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:34,075 Speaker 1: Thank you, Nancy Faust. More than that, though, for once, 99 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:38,195 Speaker 1: it is Trump in that photograph, and most of those 100 00:07:38,195 --> 00:07:42,995 Speaker 1: photographs it is Trump who is behind bars, and everybody 101 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:46,755 Speaker 1: else in the shot is free, the court staff, the cops, 102 00:07:46,795 --> 00:07:49,955 Speaker 1: the media. I'll post the photo on Twitter x and 103 00:07:49,995 --> 00:07:53,595 Speaker 1: wherever else I can think to. I've never been on trial. 104 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:57,155 Speaker 1: I've never actually been a witness or anything else in 105 00:07:57,155 --> 00:08:00,755 Speaker 1: a courtroom, and only once have I ever been in 106 00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:04,075 Speaker 1: a deposition. Of course, it was a two day deposition 107 00:08:04,075 --> 00:08:06,955 Speaker 1: over an issue fifty million dollars. And one of the 108 00:08:06,995 --> 00:08:10,195 Speaker 1: things my very good lawyers for that deposition hammered into 109 00:08:10,195 --> 00:08:13,075 Speaker 1: me for use in the deposition and any other time 110 00:08:13,195 --> 00:08:16,675 Speaker 1: I encountered other lawyers, it was a very simple warning, 111 00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:24,195 Speaker 1: whatever you do, try not to look guilty. And in 112 00:08:24,235 --> 00:08:29,835 Speaker 1: the picture, God does Trump look guilty. I don't know 113 00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:33,475 Speaker 1: if Nicki Gley's campaign can license that image. It merely 114 00:08:33,515 --> 00:08:36,595 Speaker 1: proves her last honest point of her campaign that a 115 00:08:36,675 --> 00:08:40,795 Speaker 1: Trump candidacy will be nothing but him in court. It's 116 00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:44,195 Speaker 1: like five hundred bucks to license the rights to use 117 00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:46,395 Speaker 1: a photo like that off Getty Images, but for a 118 00:08:46,435 --> 00:08:49,875 Speaker 1: campaign would probably be way higher. However, the Biden campaign 119 00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:53,675 Speaker 1: ought to buy that photo and the rights and the 120 00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:57,555 Speaker 1: camera and any piece of video shot from that damning angle, 121 00:08:57,835 --> 00:09:01,475 Speaker 1: and hire the cameraman and plaster it everywhere. Trump on trial, 122 00:09:01,515 --> 00:09:05,755 Speaker 1: you know he's guilty, your Republican nominee. Only with nominee 123 00:09:05,835 --> 00:09:09,835 Speaker 1: crossed out and defendant written above it in read on 124 00:09:09,995 --> 00:09:25,995 Speaker 1: this photographer Tim Clary led pipe cinch Pulitzer prize that 125 00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:29,595 Speaker 1: sound effect. That's what the picture looks like. Meanwhile, a 126 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:33,435 Speaker 1: California grand jury has indicted James Comer's and Sean Hannity's 127 00:09:33,435 --> 00:09:39,195 Speaker 1: and Grandpa Grassley's key FBI informant against the Bidens. He 128 00:09:39,355 --> 00:09:44,915 Speaker 1: did make all that stuff up, the infamous FD one 129 00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:50,715 Speaker 1: zero two three form that Grassley released and Comber tried 130 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:55,195 Speaker 1: to sell as real about Barisma and bribing the Bidens. 131 00:09:55,715 --> 00:09:57,555 Speaker 1: And when they went back to the informant and they 132 00:09:57,595 --> 00:10:01,155 Speaker 1: said that a Barisma official told him in twenty fifteen, 133 00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:05,115 Speaker 1: according to his story, that he'd bribed the Bidens. Turned 134 00:10:05,115 --> 00:10:07,635 Speaker 1: out this guy had not met with anybody at Brisma 135 00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,035 Speaker 1: until two years after that, that the timeline didn't work. 136 00:10:11,075 --> 00:10:14,315 Speaker 1: It was obvious he'd made it up. He just repeated 137 00:10:14,355 --> 00:10:19,795 Speaker 1: his crap, which was or sounds awfully like Kremlin composed 138 00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:24,075 Speaker 1: dis info and James Comer and Chuck Grassley and Sean 139 00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:28,275 Speaker 1: Hannity served as to facto Russian agents in spreading it. 140 00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:33,315 Speaker 1: And now Alexander Smirnoff faces twenty five years in prison 141 00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:39,315 Speaker 1: for lying to the FBI in Russia. FBI sues you. 142 00:10:40,595 --> 00:10:43,275 Speaker 1: If they were Democrats, James Comer would have been stripped 143 00:10:43,315 --> 00:10:46,435 Speaker 1: of his chairmanship by right now, possibly forced out of 144 00:10:46,435 --> 00:10:49,075 Speaker 1: the House already, and Chuck Grassley would have been in 145 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:55,035 Speaker 1: jail years ago. So now Joe Biden's legal problems have 146 00:10:55,115 --> 00:10:57,995 Speaker 1: been reduced to just the one. Unfortunately, that one is 147 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:02,435 Speaker 1: having an idiot for his attorney general. How Merrick Garland 148 00:11:02,755 --> 00:11:06,395 Speaker 1: has not resigned yet is beyond me. I assume it's 149 00:11:06,555 --> 00:11:08,955 Speaker 1: just because, as we saw in the Trump prosecutions, he 150 00:11:08,995 --> 00:11:13,795 Speaker 1: does nothing quickly or in normal time, or even slowly. 151 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,155 Speaker 1: I presume he cannot go to the bathroom without a 152 00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:22,035 Speaker 1: six month long series of meetings and consultations. First. Well, 153 00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:24,955 Speaker 1: now Garland's got to act fast and spit or get 154 00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:26,675 Speaker 1: off the pot, and if he won't, Biden has to 155 00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:32,675 Speaker 1: fire him again. This political prostitute, Robert Herr, the Trump 156 00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:37,875 Speaker 1: appointee and now apparently de facto Trump campaign surrogate, the 157 00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:42,155 Speaker 1: centerpiece in what Politico aptly named the Biden Age plot, 158 00:11:42,555 --> 00:11:45,355 Speaker 1: her is revealing more and more of his plans to 159 00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:50,995 Speaker 1: try to sink the president, violating all legal ethics both 160 00:11:51,035 --> 00:11:55,675 Speaker 1: of them by including his neurological guesswork about Biden's memory 161 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:59,035 Speaker 1: inside a special Council investigation that oh, by the way, 162 00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:04,435 Speaker 1: cleared Biden, that wasn't enough damage to do, That was 163 00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:08,475 Speaker 1: a enough prostitution to perform on behalf of Donald Trump. 164 00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:14,075 Speaker 1: This bastard her, as I keep repeating here, is actively 165 00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:19,355 Speaker 1: and not even secretly, arranging to testify to at least 166 00:12:19,395 --> 00:12:23,795 Speaker 1: the House Judiciary Committee. It is now next month. CNN 167 00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:27,475 Speaker 1: and The Times reported yesterday HER's congressional testimony is set 168 00:12:27,475 --> 00:12:30,915 Speaker 1: for March twelfth, and somebody on HER's side of this 169 00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:36,275 Speaker 1: equation has spun HER's tawdry, subhuman question about the president's 170 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:40,755 Speaker 1: late sun Bo as justified because it was Biden and 171 00:12:40,795 --> 00:12:45,235 Speaker 1: not her, who first brought up Bo Biden. Axios also 172 00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:49,195 Speaker 1: reports that her quote has been in discussions with Sarah Isker, 173 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:52,155 Speaker 1: the head of public affairs and a senior counselor to 174 00:12:52,195 --> 00:12:56,075 Speaker 1: Trump's deputy attorney general during the Mueller investigation, to help 175 00:12:56,155 --> 00:13:02,795 Speaker 1: him navigate a congressional hearing. Sarah Isker. Sarah Isker is 176 00:13:02,835 --> 00:13:07,075 Speaker 1: the federalist phony who attacked Trump in twenty sixteen for 177 00:13:07,115 --> 00:13:11,075 Speaker 1: having threatened to prosecute Hillary Clinton, and who bashed CNN 178 00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:15,475 Speaker 1: as fake news, and first went to work for Trump 179 00:13:15,915 --> 00:13:20,075 Speaker 1: as the spokesperson for Attorney General Jeff Sessions, all the 180 00:13:20,155 --> 00:13:24,395 Speaker 1: while pitching herself for a job with MSNBC and CNN, 181 00:13:25,235 --> 00:13:27,675 Speaker 1: and finally being hired by CNN, which she had called 182 00:13:27,675 --> 00:13:32,715 Speaker 1: fake news, as political editor. They blew her out quickly 183 00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:35,595 Speaker 1: over there, and she was last seen at ABC News 184 00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:40,035 Speaker 1: before she signed on as Robert Hur's assistant henchman in 185 00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:45,755 Speaker 1: the aptly titled biden Age plot. And now besides this, 186 00:13:46,355 --> 00:13:48,675 Speaker 1: there is a new twist to the biden Age plot. 187 00:13:48,755 --> 00:13:51,555 Speaker 1: The New York Times reported that before it was released, 188 00:13:51,595 --> 00:13:54,035 Speaker 1: the White House pushed back on that report, but did 189 00:13:54,075 --> 00:13:56,635 Speaker 1: not take any of the actions it or the DOJ 190 00:13:56,915 --> 00:14:02,715 Speaker 1: could have done to censor that report. Nobl not smart, 191 00:14:03,035 --> 00:14:07,115 Speaker 1: but noble. The day before the report was released, the 192 00:14:07,195 --> 00:14:13,075 Speaker 1: dojy's senior career official, a man named Bradley Weinsheimer, wrote 193 00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:17,075 Speaker 1: back that HER's amateur doctoring and his other political opinions 194 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:21,075 Speaker 1: inserted into his report quote fall well within the department 195 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:25,075 Speaker 1: standards for public release. The Times does not tell you 196 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:29,435 Speaker 1: who this Bradley Weinsheimer is. They describe him as the 197 00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:36,195 Speaker 1: department's senior career official or non political appointee. That's bullshit. 198 00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:39,795 Speaker 1: He is hardly that. He was appointed by George H. W. 199 00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:42,875 Speaker 1: Bush to the Department of Justice, and he was elevated 200 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:49,715 Speaker 1: to his current non political position under Trump. There is 201 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:54,115 Speaker 1: nothing stopping Merrick Garland from stopping them all dead in 202 00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:59,555 Speaker 1: their tracks, denying the House Judiciary Committee any material at 203 00:14:59,595 --> 00:15:04,475 Speaker 1: hers testimony. There's nothing stopping him except Garland's own sluggish 204 00:15:04,795 --> 00:15:09,155 Speaker 1: trees instead of the forest phony piety about the Department 205 00:15:09,195 --> 00:15:14,515 Speaker 1: of Justice and Law with a capital L. Eric Garland 206 00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:17,915 Speaker 1: already missed his chance to redact her as utterly uninformed 207 00:15:17,955 --> 00:15:21,435 Speaker 1: and politically poisoned conspiracy theories. And now we have this 208 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:25,875 Speaker 1: Weinsheimer guy involved in this, and this Isker involved in this, 209 00:15:26,035 --> 00:15:32,115 Speaker 1: and it is a little miniature right wing conspiracy. Your 210 00:15:32,195 --> 00:15:37,315 Speaker 1: Department of Justice, mister Garland. It just produced a document 211 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,715 Speaker 1: in which some idiot from the Federalist Society was permitted 212 00:15:40,755 --> 00:15:46,315 Speaker 1: to speculate on the President's acuity. James Comy and then 213 00:15:46,435 --> 00:15:51,595 Speaker 1: Bill Barr had already turned DOJ and its branches into 214 00:15:51,675 --> 00:15:56,155 Speaker 1: a political whorehouse, and this clown Robert Hurr just turned 215 00:15:56,195 --> 00:16:02,235 Speaker 1: it into a free political whorehouse once again. Garland has 216 00:16:02,315 --> 00:16:07,795 Speaker 1: to shut this down, or Biden has to fire him 217 00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:11,715 Speaker 1: and take the fallout for doing so. Unless I don't know, 218 00:16:11,835 --> 00:16:15,115 Speaker 1: Jack Smith has threatened to quit if Garland goes. Unless 219 00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:18,515 Speaker 1: it's something like that, there is no reason to continue 220 00:16:18,595 --> 00:16:23,355 Speaker 1: to trust Merrick Garland a foolish, naive man, not just 221 00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:34,155 Speaker 1: to do the right thing, but to do anything. Remember 222 00:16:34,195 --> 00:16:37,515 Speaker 1: when I said that actor their Sunday Shows deceptively edited 223 00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:41,915 Speaker 1: quotes from the non brain parts of her report, edited 224 00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:44,915 Speaker 1: them like you would edit the phrase not guilty into 225 00:16:45,595 --> 00:16:49,115 Speaker 1: dot dot dot guilty. That they needed to fire their 226 00:16:49,155 --> 00:16:54,595 Speaker 1: anchors and their anchors bosses. This is probably a coincidence, 227 00:16:54,635 --> 00:16:59,115 Speaker 1: but ABC News is president. Kim Godwin just discovered, Hey, 228 00:16:59,595 --> 00:17:05,035 Speaker 1: there's another ABC News president above her. Deborah O'Connell has 229 00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:10,595 Speaker 1: been promoted to president News Group and Network's Disney Entertainment. 230 00:17:12,195 --> 00:17:14,675 Speaker 1: She has more words in her job, so that means 231 00:17:14,715 --> 00:17:19,355 Speaker 1: she's boss. This is not necessarily cause in effect. I 232 00:17:19,395 --> 00:17:23,075 Speaker 1: would actually guess it's not cause and effect. Godwin was 233 00:17:23,115 --> 00:17:28,275 Speaker 1: reportedly hated at ABC, and evinced no earthly clue that 234 00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:31,355 Speaker 1: she knew what she was doing. But the news president 235 00:17:31,395 --> 00:17:35,195 Speaker 1: positions the producers and management at the key shows they 236 00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:37,835 Speaker 1: put those people there and keep them there, and it's 237 00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:41,035 Speaker 1: usually their favorites. Not so much with the talent, but 238 00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:44,395 Speaker 1: definitely the producers of shows like Meet the Press and 239 00:17:44,515 --> 00:17:48,635 Speaker 1: This Week are the people that the Kim Goodwins of 240 00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:53,795 Speaker 1: this world want there. So those producers, the ones particularly 241 00:17:53,795 --> 00:17:57,435 Speaker 1: at This Week, all have to be scared right now 242 00:17:57,995 --> 00:18:01,955 Speaker 1: because their boss is no longer the boss. And by 243 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:06,675 Speaker 1: the way, after how they screwed up her story Good 244 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,995 Speaker 1: two other TV stories. The Washington Post has made a 245 00:18:11,075 --> 00:18:15,275 Speaker 1: million arteries run cold a nice little feature on biden 246 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:19,555 Speaker 1: game strategy for the election and why nearly three percent 247 00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:22,395 Speaker 1: of the one hundred and thirty million dollars Swing States 248 00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:25,035 Speaker 1: ad buy that they have arranged is going to go 249 00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:32,595 Speaker 1: for Joe Biden's spots in Omaha, Nebraska three million, seven 250 00:18:32,715 --> 00:18:36,275 Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars worth of Biden commercials and Biden ad 251 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:44,155 Speaker 1: and Biden's streaming stuff in Nebraska. Well, in the second 252 00:18:44,235 --> 00:18:49,275 Speaker 1: district of Nebraska that state splits its electoral votes. Four 253 00:18:49,435 --> 00:18:53,275 Speaker 1: are awarded from the deeply read first district. One is 254 00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:59,795 Speaker 1: awarded from the deeply Omaha second district. It's kind of 255 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:04,835 Speaker 1: blue there. It's a city. I'll just read the rest 256 00:19:04,875 --> 00:19:08,635 Speaker 1: of the little post story. Under a scenario where Biden 257 00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:13,555 Speaker 1: wins the three northern swing states and the other uncontested 258 00:19:13,595 --> 00:19:19,795 Speaker 1: Blue states, a loss in Nebraska's second district, well, that 259 00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,155 Speaker 1: could result in a two hundred and sixty nine two 260 00:19:22,235 --> 00:19:25,915 Speaker 1: hundred and sixty nine tie, kicking the selection of the 261 00:19:25,955 --> 00:19:29,715 Speaker 1: president to the House, where Republicans currently have an advantage 262 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:32,955 Speaker 1: in the number of state delegations they control. And remember, 263 00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:38,075 Speaker 1: if God help us, the House ever has to decide 264 00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:42,835 Speaker 1: who's going to be president. Each state gets one vote, 265 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:48,715 Speaker 1: and right now the Republicans control twenty six state delegations. 266 00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:54,835 Speaker 1: So you're going to spend three point seven mili in 267 00:19:54,875 --> 00:20:00,715 Speaker 1: the Omaha market? Are we sure that's enough? And a 268 00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:04,235 Speaker 1: year ago today, Tucker Carlson was already in negotiations with 269 00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:08,875 Speaker 1: Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, remember Kevin McCarthy, to 270 00:20:08,995 --> 00:20:13,315 Speaker 1: unleash the greatest blockbuster in the history of American television, 271 00:20:13,355 --> 00:20:18,715 Speaker 1: the real January sixth tapes, which of course turned out 272 00:20:18,755 --> 00:20:24,755 Speaker 1: to be several days worth a video of empty hallways, 273 00:20:25,275 --> 00:20:29,955 Speaker 1: so didn't wind up being a full length Zuppruder film. 274 00:20:30,035 --> 00:20:32,315 Speaker 1: But we didn't know that then. A year ago today, 275 00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:39,275 Speaker 1: and Where's Tucker Carlson now filming inside a Moscow supermarket 276 00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:43,475 Speaker 1: explaining that Russia is far better than the United States 277 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:48,155 Speaker 1: because the prices in the supermarket are so low, without 278 00:20:48,235 --> 00:20:51,115 Speaker 1: ever noting that the prices are still two to three 279 00:20:51,195 --> 00:20:54,715 Speaker 1: times higher than the average Russian can ever afford in 280 00:20:54,795 --> 00:21:00,835 Speaker 1: his lifetime. Moreover, if you thought Carlson's flatulent lap sitting 281 00:21:00,915 --> 00:21:04,395 Speaker 1: interview with the Russian dictator Vladimir Putin was useless, I 282 00:21:04,435 --> 00:21:07,075 Speaker 1: hope if you saw how it was trashed by a 283 00:21:07,155 --> 00:21:12,755 Speaker 1: critic named Vladimir Putin. Putin said, I honestly thought he 284 00:21:12,795 --> 00:21:17,355 Speaker 1: would be aggressive and ask so called sharp questions, but 285 00:21:17,435 --> 00:21:22,675 Speaker 1: he chose a different tactic unquote. What's he implying there? 286 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:33,195 Speaker 1: What's the opposite of sharp? Dull? Soft? Worst? Yet, Putin 287 00:21:33,235 --> 00:21:37,035 Speaker 1: made Carlson release their interview unedited, and then when it 288 00:21:37,115 --> 00:21:41,115 Speaker 1: appeared on the Russian government's official site, they had edited 289 00:21:41,155 --> 00:21:44,555 Speaker 1: out the really dull parts, which turned out to be 290 00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:50,995 Speaker 1: many of Tucker Carlson's questions. One day, you're in the 291 00:21:50,995 --> 00:21:54,395 Speaker 1: middle of the Kremlin praising Putin to his face. The 292 00:21:54,435 --> 00:21:58,315 Speaker 1: next day you're praising the prices in the Borsch department 293 00:21:58,355 --> 00:22:02,755 Speaker 1: at the Moscow win Dixie. So I'd like to congratulate 294 00:22:02,795 --> 00:22:07,595 Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson, the first broadcast to my knowledge, who has 295 00:22:07,635 --> 00:22:16,235 Speaker 1: been fired by CNN, PBS, MSNBC, Fox News and now 296 00:22:17,395 --> 00:22:27,195 Speaker 1: by the KGB. Also of interest here, how many different 297 00:22:27,275 --> 00:22:31,515 Speaker 1: things does Marjorie Taylor Green not understand? I mean, I 298 00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:34,275 Speaker 1: suppose the answer is infinite. I mean, she has spent 299 00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:38,075 Speaker 1: several days congratulating herself now on being named one of 300 00:22:38,115 --> 00:22:41,235 Speaker 1: the impeachment managers for the trial of Secretary Majorcis in 301 00:22:41,275 --> 00:22:47,035 Speaker 1: the Senate. Blithely unaware or blithely too stupid to be 302 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:49,875 Speaker 1: aware that there is not going to be a trial 303 00:22:49,955 --> 00:22:53,355 Speaker 1: of Secretary Majorcas in the Senate. The stunt is over. 304 00:22:54,195 --> 00:22:57,955 Speaker 1: But yesterday Marge went back to one of her favorite 305 00:22:57,995 --> 00:23:03,315 Speaker 1: gaps in her knowledge back things and she got called 306 00:23:03,435 --> 00:23:08,875 Speaker 1: out for it. Crushed. Thank you, Congressman Robert Garcia of California. 307 00:23:09,395 --> 00:23:17,355 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Auberman. 308 00:23:18,475 --> 00:23:43,875 Speaker 1: Aberman still ahead of us on countdown. It's Fridays with Thurber, 309 00:23:43,995 --> 00:23:46,995 Speaker 1: and we'll get back to the beginning. To my mind, 310 00:23:47,075 --> 00:23:50,395 Speaker 1: it is the quintessential Thurber story. It's the one I 311 00:23:50,475 --> 00:23:54,315 Speaker 1: heard the actor William Windham recite on public television in 312 00:23:54,395 --> 00:23:58,275 Speaker 1: nineteen seventy seven in his One Man Thurber Show, And 313 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:00,755 Speaker 1: I thought, I wonder if I could ever have a 314 00:24:00,955 --> 00:24:05,235 Speaker 1: job that would let me read Thurber stories out loud 315 00:24:06,595 --> 00:24:12,315 Speaker 1: for an audience. The perfection of a box to hide 316 00:24:12,355 --> 00:24:15,675 Speaker 1: in coming up first. Yes, it's the daily roundup of 317 00:24:15,675 --> 00:24:19,795 Speaker 1: the misgrants, morons and Dunning Krueger effects specimens who constitute 318 00:24:19,795 --> 00:24:25,675 Speaker 1: two days worse Parsons in the world, the bronze worse 319 00:24:26,315 --> 00:24:30,195 Speaker 1: Nike and Major League Baseball. Nike is the new supplier 320 00:24:30,355 --> 00:24:33,035 Speaker 1: of baseball's uniforms, and thus they are the people who 321 00:24:33,075 --> 00:24:38,835 Speaker 1: have brought everybody in the game into rare agreement. Everybody 322 00:24:38,835 --> 00:24:42,115 Speaker 1: in the game loves to disagree. That's the point about baseball. 323 00:24:42,275 --> 00:24:44,635 Speaker 1: It's about to end. Somebody says, oh no, it's never 324 00:24:44,635 --> 00:24:48,435 Speaker 1: been better, says somebody else. Now we all agree. Young fans, 325 00:24:49,315 --> 00:24:53,475 Speaker 1: uniform nerds, old reporters now in their seventh decade of 326 00:24:53,555 --> 00:24:57,035 Speaker 1: going to games, and the players themselves, they are all 327 00:24:57,075 --> 00:25:04,795 Speaker 1: saying the same thing this February, the new uniforms suck eggs. 328 00:25:05,635 --> 00:25:09,115 Speaker 1: As spring training begins, everybody can see the obvious, the 329 00:25:09,235 --> 00:25:13,555 Speaker 1: numbers and the player names have been shrunk to near illegibility. 330 00:25:13,795 --> 00:25:16,875 Speaker 1: Outfielder Taylor Ward of the Angels says, they look like 331 00:25:16,995 --> 00:25:20,875 Speaker 1: replica uniforms. Somebody else said, yeah, they look like replicas 332 00:25:20,915 --> 00:25:25,595 Speaker 1: at TJ Max, but it's worse than that. The hefty 333 00:25:25,635 --> 00:25:29,755 Speaker 1: and large Angels reliever Carlos Estevez pointed out to reporters 334 00:25:29,755 --> 00:25:33,235 Speaker 1: that the white in his team's pants does not match 335 00:25:33,275 --> 00:25:36,715 Speaker 1: the white in his team's shirts, and Estebez says he 336 00:25:36,755 --> 00:25:39,715 Speaker 1: can't fit into his pants and they will not let 337 00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:43,195 Speaker 1: him tailor his pants. I feel like I'm wearing someone 338 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:48,555 Speaker 1: else's pants. The blue in the Cubs uniforms, according to 339 00:25:48,635 --> 00:25:51,435 Speaker 1: a Cubs player, does not appear to be the same 340 00:25:51,595 --> 00:25:54,155 Speaker 1: blue the Cubs have worn since the mid nineteen fifties, 341 00:25:54,475 --> 00:25:59,675 Speaker 1: and they have screwed up the fabled script Dodgers uniforms 342 00:25:59,715 --> 00:26:02,675 Speaker 1: of the Los Angeles Dodgers. The shirt used to open 343 00:26:02,795 --> 00:26:06,355 Speaker 1: used to button between the OH and the middle D 344 00:26:06,635 --> 00:26:09,715 Speaker 1: in the word Dodgers across the chest. Now it opens 345 00:26:09,795 --> 00:26:12,515 Speaker 1: in the middle of the OH. So if an LA 346 00:26:12,595 --> 00:26:15,435 Speaker 1: player has his top buttons on button, it really looks 347 00:26:15,475 --> 00:26:26,315 Speaker 1: like his uniform reads Dudgers, Dodgers, Dudegers. The next complaint 348 00:26:26,315 --> 00:26:27,915 Speaker 1: will come from the fans when they find out that 349 00:26:27,955 --> 00:26:30,635 Speaker 1: the price of one of these replicated uniforms has risen 350 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:37,035 Speaker 1: to about four hundred dollars. The runner up worser Marjorie 351 00:26:37,235 --> 00:26:42,475 Speaker 1: Taylor Barney Rubble, please get your deviated septum fixed. Green, 352 00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:48,595 Speaker 1: the first congress person dumber than Rosie the robot from 353 00:26:48,635 --> 00:26:49,315 Speaker 1: the Jetsons. 354 00:26:49,915 --> 00:26:52,115 Speaker 3: I'm not a doctor, but I have a PhD In 355 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:55,395 Speaker 3: recognizing bullshit when I hear it. It's time to be 356 00:26:55,555 --> 00:26:59,075 Speaker 3: honest about the vaccine injured and we need to stop 357 00:26:59,635 --> 00:27:03,195 Speaker 3: allowing these COVID nineteen vaccines to be given out to 358 00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:06,355 Speaker 3: children in a lady's time has expired, and now recognize 359 00:27:06,395 --> 00:27:09,315 Speaker 3: mister Garcia from California for five minutes of questions. 360 00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:10,355 Speaker 1: Thank you so Chairman. 361 00:27:11,235 --> 00:27:12,715 Speaker 4: I'm sorry you all had to go through that. That 362 00:27:12,875 --> 00:27:17,355 Speaker 4: was a lot of conspiracy theories and wild accusations which 363 00:27:17,395 --> 00:27:20,395 Speaker 4: we now have been debunked by medical science. And we 364 00:27:20,435 --> 00:27:23,795 Speaker 4: should be clear that vaccines work and save lives, and 365 00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,835 Speaker 4: they have millions of lives in this country. 366 00:27:26,355 --> 00:27:30,915 Speaker 1: Good lord, I mean Marjorie Taylor Green can't spell PhD. 367 00:27:32,555 --> 00:27:35,755 Speaker 1: Thank you, Congressman Garcia, but our winner the worst the 368 00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:39,635 Speaker 1: Associated Press. You know for the most concentrated, most absurd 369 00:27:39,795 --> 00:27:43,315 Speaker 1: both siding of the presidential election. The AP, which is 370 00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:47,595 Speaker 1: usually just bland and shallow, may have won the award 371 00:27:48,475 --> 00:27:51,515 Speaker 1: for all of journalism in the month of February. The 372 00:27:51,675 --> 00:27:55,795 Speaker 1: headline of a story analyzing Congressman elect Tom Swase's victory 373 00:27:56,275 --> 00:27:59,155 Speaker 1: in the special election in the New York Third quote, 374 00:27:59,755 --> 00:28:03,315 Speaker 1: Democrats cheered New York win as good omen for November. 375 00:28:04,795 --> 00:28:13,755 Speaker 1: Is it enough to calm anxiety over Biden? Ah the 376 00:28:13,875 --> 00:28:19,595 Speaker 1: Associated Press. I swear to Jesus if Kamala Harris discovered 377 00:28:19,635 --> 00:28:25,035 Speaker 1: a pill guaranteeing everybody eternal life, and she was handing 378 00:28:25,115 --> 00:28:28,475 Speaker 1: them out to everybody on the street. Here take two, 379 00:28:28,955 --> 00:28:33,955 Speaker 1: somebody would write, Democrats cheer public reaction to their immortality pill. 380 00:28:34,515 --> 00:28:39,315 Speaker 1: But is it enough to calm anxiety over Biden? Today's 381 00:28:40,075 --> 00:29:05,595 Speaker 1: worst persons in the world. It's been a long week. 382 00:29:06,355 --> 00:29:09,355 Speaker 1: And every time I find myself thinking it's been a 383 00:29:09,475 --> 00:29:12,635 Speaker 1: long week, I like to turn to my book of 384 00:29:12,755 --> 00:29:15,475 Speaker 1: James Thurber, and it's Fridays with Thurber. And it's been 385 00:29:15,515 --> 00:29:18,395 Speaker 1: a few Fridays since I've done any James Thurber. And 386 00:29:18,515 --> 00:29:21,555 Speaker 1: so let's start at the beginning. As I've mentioned many times. 387 00:29:21,675 --> 00:29:24,435 Speaker 1: I read this story first aloud in a class in 388 00:29:24,595 --> 00:29:27,115 Speaker 1: college in nineteen seventy nine, and a friend of mine 389 00:29:27,155 --> 00:29:28,635 Speaker 1: came up to me and said, you should forget that 390 00:29:28,755 --> 00:29:32,635 Speaker 1: sportscasting thing. You should read Thurber for a living, and 391 00:29:32,755 --> 00:29:36,355 Speaker 1: I said, yeah, that'll ever happen. This is, for some 392 00:29:36,555 --> 00:29:41,515 Speaker 1: reason salvation for me, Catharsis, and every other emotion that 393 00:29:41,635 --> 00:29:47,395 Speaker 1: is appropriate after it has been a long week. A 394 00:29:47,555 --> 00:29:54,995 Speaker 1: Box to Hide In by James Thurber. I waited till 395 00:29:55,075 --> 00:29:59,235 Speaker 1: the large woman with the awful hat took up her 396 00:29:59,355 --> 00:30:04,075 Speaker 1: sack of groceries and went out, peering at the tomatoes 397 00:30:04,275 --> 00:30:07,435 Speaker 1: and the l us on her way. The clerk asked 398 00:30:07,475 --> 00:30:12,075 Speaker 1: me what mine was. Have you got a box, I asked, 399 00:30:12,555 --> 00:30:16,315 Speaker 1: A large box. I want a box to hide in. 400 00:30:17,955 --> 00:30:21,635 Speaker 1: You want a box, he asked, I want a box 401 00:30:21,675 --> 00:30:24,515 Speaker 1: to hide in. I said, what do you mean? He said, 402 00:30:24,595 --> 00:30:27,635 Speaker 1: you mean a big box. I said, I meant a 403 00:30:27,835 --> 00:30:30,635 Speaker 1: big box big enough to hold me. I haven't got 404 00:30:30,635 --> 00:30:33,915 Speaker 1: any boxes, he said, only cottons that cans come in. 405 00:30:36,075 --> 00:30:38,635 Speaker 1: I tried several other groceries and none of them had 406 00:30:38,635 --> 00:30:41,435 Speaker 1: a box big enough for me to hide in. And 407 00:30:41,515 --> 00:30:44,675 Speaker 1: there was nothing for it but to face life out. 408 00:30:46,235 --> 00:30:49,715 Speaker 1: I didn't feel strong, and I'd had this overpowering desire 409 00:30:49,835 --> 00:30:55,955 Speaker 1: to hide in a box for a long time. Well, 410 00:30:56,075 --> 00:30:57,715 Speaker 1: what do you mean you want to hide in this box, 411 00:30:58,275 --> 00:31:03,075 Speaker 1: one grocer asked me. It's a form of escape. I 412 00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:07,435 Speaker 1: told him, hiding in a box. It circumscribes your worries 413 00:31:07,635 --> 00:31:12,155 Speaker 1: in the range of your anguish. You don't see people either. 414 00:31:13,475 --> 00:31:15,275 Speaker 1: How the hell do you eat when you're in this box, 415 00:31:15,795 --> 00:31:17,395 Speaker 1: asked the grocer. I don't the hell do you get 416 00:31:17,395 --> 00:31:20,715 Speaker 1: anything to eat? I said, I had never been in 417 00:31:20,795 --> 00:31:22,875 Speaker 1: a box and didn't know, but that that would take 418 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:26,835 Speaker 1: care of itself. Well, he said, finally, I haven't got 419 00:31:26,875 --> 00:31:30,515 Speaker 1: any boxes, only some pasteboard curtains that cans come in. 420 00:31:32,355 --> 00:31:36,315 Speaker 1: It was the same every place. I gave up when 421 00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:39,395 Speaker 1: it got dark and the groceries closed, and hid in 422 00:31:39,515 --> 00:31:42,675 Speaker 1: my room again. I turned out the light and lay 423 00:31:42,755 --> 00:31:46,075 Speaker 1: on the bed. You feel better when it gets dark. 424 00:31:47,395 --> 00:31:49,555 Speaker 1: I could have hit in a closet, I suppose, but 425 00:31:49,755 --> 00:31:55,155 Speaker 1: people are always opening doors. Somebody would find you in 426 00:31:55,195 --> 00:31:58,275 Speaker 1: a closet. They would be startled, and you'd have to 427 00:31:58,315 --> 00:32:01,715 Speaker 1: tell them why you're in the closet. Nobody pays attention 428 00:32:01,835 --> 00:32:05,155 Speaker 1: to a big box lying on the floor. I'd stay 429 00:32:05,395 --> 00:32:09,715 Speaker 1: in it for days, and nobody'd think to look in it, 430 00:32:10,035 --> 00:32:16,675 Speaker 1: not even the cleaning woman. My cleaning woman came the 431 00:32:16,715 --> 00:32:19,155 Speaker 1: next morning and woke me up, and I was still 432 00:32:19,275 --> 00:32:22,075 Speaker 1: feeling bad. I asked her if she knew where I 433 00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:25,635 Speaker 1: could get a large box. How big a box you want, 434 00:32:26,475 --> 00:32:29,195 Speaker 1: she asked, I want a box big enough for me 435 00:32:29,235 --> 00:32:32,635 Speaker 1: to get inside of, I said. She looked at me 436 00:32:32,795 --> 00:32:37,715 Speaker 1: with big, dim eyes. There's something wrong with her glands. 437 00:32:38,795 --> 00:32:41,355 Speaker 1: She's awful, but she has a big heart, which makes 438 00:32:41,395 --> 00:32:45,755 Speaker 1: it worse. She's unbearable. Her husband is sick, and her 439 00:32:45,875 --> 00:32:48,595 Speaker 1: children are sick, and she is sick too. I got 440 00:32:48,635 --> 00:32:50,275 Speaker 1: to thinking how pleasant it would be if I were 441 00:32:50,315 --> 00:32:52,595 Speaker 1: in a box now and didn't have to see her. 442 00:32:52,995 --> 00:32:54,435 Speaker 1: I'd be in a box right there in the room, 443 00:32:54,475 --> 00:32:56,635 Speaker 1: and she wouldn't know. I wondered, if you had a 444 00:32:56,715 --> 00:33:00,915 Speaker 1: desire to bark or laugh when someone who doesn't know 445 00:33:01,835 --> 00:33:06,075 Speaker 1: walks by the box you were in, maybe she would 446 00:33:06,115 --> 00:33:08,195 Speaker 1: have a spell with her heart. If I did that 447 00:33:08,395 --> 00:33:13,035 Speaker 1: would die right there. The officers and the elevator man 448 00:33:13,155 --> 00:33:16,595 Speaker 1: and mister Grammage would find us funny. Dog Gune. Thing 449 00:33:16,675 --> 00:33:19,435 Speaker 1: happened at the building last night, the doorman would say 450 00:33:19,435 --> 00:33:21,435 Speaker 1: to his wife, I led him this woman to clean 451 00:33:21,515 --> 00:33:24,075 Speaker 1: up tenf and she never come out. See she's never 452 00:33:24,155 --> 00:33:26,275 Speaker 1: in there more in an hour, but she never come out. See. 453 00:33:27,035 --> 00:33:29,155 Speaker 1: So when it got time for me to go off duty, why, 454 00:33:29,195 --> 00:33:31,275 Speaker 1: I says to Krenik, who was on the elevator, I says, 455 00:33:31,315 --> 00:33:33,075 Speaker 1: what the hell you suppose this happened to that woman 456 00:33:33,195 --> 00:33:36,515 Speaker 1: cleans tenf. He says he didn't know. He says he 457 00:33:36,595 --> 00:33:38,715 Speaker 1: never seen her after he took her up. So I 458 00:33:38,875 --> 00:33:42,275 Speaker 1: spoke to mister Grammage about it. I'm sorry to bother you, 459 00:33:42,355 --> 00:33:45,395 Speaker 1: mister Grammage, I says, but there's something funny about that 460 00:33:45,555 --> 00:33:49,195 Speaker 1: woman cleans TENF. So I told him. So he said 461 00:33:49,235 --> 00:33:51,035 Speaker 1: we better have a look, and we all three goes 462 00:33:51,115 --> 00:33:53,115 Speaker 1: up and knots on the door and rings the bells 463 00:33:53,155 --> 00:33:55,715 Speaker 1: sea and nobody answers. So he said we'd have to 464 00:33:55,795 --> 00:33:57,955 Speaker 1: walk in. So Credic opened the door and we walked 465 00:33:57,995 --> 00:34:02,035 Speaker 1: in and here was this woman cleans the apartment, dead 466 00:34:02,595 --> 00:34:06,635 Speaker 1: as a herring on the floor, and the gentleman that 467 00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:13,875 Speaker 1: lives there was in a box. The cleaning woman kept 468 00:34:13,955 --> 00:34:18,035 Speaker 1: looking at me. It was hard to realize she wasn't dead. 469 00:34:20,035 --> 00:34:26,795 Speaker 1: It's a form of escape. I murmured, wat say. She asked, Dully, 470 00:34:28,155 --> 00:34:30,595 Speaker 1: you don't know of any large packing boxes, do you? 471 00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:36,915 Speaker 1: I asked, now, I don't. She said, I haven't found 472 00:34:36,915 --> 00:34:40,555 Speaker 1: one yet. But I still have this overpowering urge to 473 00:34:40,755 --> 00:34:46,075 Speaker 1: hide in a box. Maybe it will go away, maybe 474 00:34:46,115 --> 00:34:51,315 Speaker 1: I'll be all right, Maybe it will get worse. It's 475 00:34:51,515 --> 00:34:58,355 Speaker 1: hard to say a box to hide in. By James Thurber, 476 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,035 Speaker 1: I've done all the damage I can do. Here. Here 477 00:35:14,075 --> 00:35:16,395 Speaker 1: are the credits. Most of the music was arranged, produced 478 00:35:16,435 --> 00:35:19,355 Speaker 1: and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel, who 479 00:35:19,395 --> 00:35:23,395 Speaker 1: are the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by 480 00:35:23,475 --> 00:35:26,915 Speaker 1: John Phillip Shanel, guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray, 481 00:35:27,355 --> 00:35:31,075 Speaker 1: produced by Tko Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged 482 00:35:31,115 --> 00:35:34,075 Speaker 1: and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. The sports 483 00:35:34,155 --> 00:35:36,715 Speaker 1: music is the Olberman theme from ESPN two and it 484 00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:40,715 Speaker 1: was written by Mitch Warren Davis and appears courtesy of ESPN, Inc. 485 00:35:41,195 --> 00:35:44,795 Speaker 1: Musical comments from Nancy Faust the best baseball stadium organist ever. 486 00:35:45,155 --> 00:35:47,835 Speaker 1: Our announcer was John Dean, and everything else is pretty 487 00:35:47,875 --> 00:35:50,275 Speaker 1: much my fault. So that's countdown for this, the eight 488 00:35:50,395 --> 00:35:53,835 Speaker 1: hundred and sixty fourth day since Donald Trump's first attempted 489 00:35:53,875 --> 00:35:56,595 Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States. 490 00:35:56,955 --> 00:36:00,475 Speaker 1: Don't forget to keep arresting him while we still can. 491 00:36:01,555 --> 00:36:04,075 Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Monday, and until then, I'm 492 00:36:04,115 --> 00:36:08,195 Speaker 1: Keith Oldriman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. 493 00:36:25,635 --> 00:36:29,595 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For 494 00:36:29,795 --> 00:36:34,675 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 495 00:36:34,955 --> 00:36:36,915 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.