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Speaker 1: Dorn Burgen Ron Bergin talking and say anything wrong back,

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Speaker 1: and he's not playing any game. You are listening to

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Speaker 1: the Ron Burgundy podcast on wherever podcasts are available, and I,

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Speaker 1: of course I am your host, Ron Burgundy. As per usual,

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Speaker 1: I am joined by my producer, Carolina. Carolina. How was

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Speaker 1: your weekend? You mean last weekend? This past weekend? Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I was your weekend. It was fine. I from what

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Speaker 1: I remember, Oh, website, I'm sorry. You seem to be

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Speaker 1: thrown by the question. Should I should I not have

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Speaker 1: asked you how your weekend was? No, it's just that

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Speaker 1: it's Wednesday, and most people ask each other on Monday

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Speaker 1: how their weekend was. They don't wait till Wednesday. It's

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Speaker 1: like five days. I know, but I didn't see you

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Speaker 1: on Monday, so I'm just asking you today. How was

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Speaker 1: your weekend? Oh? No, it was good. So hold on.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. So I take it from what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: It's a crime if you know you asked someone how

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Speaker 1: their weekend was on a Wednesday. No exaggeration, of course,

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Speaker 1: it's not a crime. It's just that if you wait

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Speaker 1: until Wednesday asks some one how the weekend was, and

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Speaker 1: it just may take some time for that person and

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Speaker 1: recall everything they did. Well, I'm sorry, you're wrong. I

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Speaker 1: just don't buy that. You know, the weekend was only

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Speaker 1: two days ago or five five days you're counting from Friday. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was only I mean, go ahead, go ahead, ask

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Speaker 1: me how my weekend was. Okay, Ron, how is your skein?

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Speaker 1: It was great, Carolina, I had a great weekend. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for asking. Okay, cool? What did you do? Um?

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Speaker 1: What did I do? Well? Let's see, I uh, what

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Speaker 1: did I do? I went to the place? Yes, I

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Speaker 1: went to the place where you I food? So do

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Speaker 1: you mean a restaurant? I did that? No? No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: the place where the food is sold in the building,

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Speaker 1: you know with the rose the rows of food. Grocery store. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the grocery store. So so that was good. Did you

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Speaker 1: do anything else? Just went to the grocery store? Um? No,

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Speaker 1: I did a lot of things. It was the weekend, Um,

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Speaker 1: I oh, I know. I was Oh. I was rushed

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Speaker 1: to that place where everyone goes. What's the place where

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Speaker 1: everyone goes at all times of the day? Can it

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Speaker 1: can be in the middle of the night as well.

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Speaker 1: It's like an around the clock place and it's super

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Speaker 1: busy in their doctors, and there's a lot of commotion

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Speaker 1: and shouting. Okay, I think the emergency, yes, emergency. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I went to the emergency room because it turns out

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Speaker 1: I had been bitten repeatedly by a Oh come on, ron,

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Speaker 1: what are they called? Did you get a dog? No?

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Speaker 1: Smaller than that? And they don't have for no, come on,

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Speaker 1: help me out here. Um. No, they're long, they're long,

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Speaker 1: and they don't have feathers. A sneak, Yes, that's it. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I had gone for a hike and I I sat

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Speaker 1: on a on a rattlesnake when I when I came

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Speaker 1: back to my car, I sat on a rattlesnake who

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Speaker 1: was sunning himself in my car seat. And I I

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Speaker 1: had to take some had to take some stuff. Oh, oh,

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Speaker 1: for god's sake, what's the what's the medicine that stops

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Speaker 1: the rattlesnake poison from getting into your eyeballs? Venom? Yes,

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Speaker 1: anti venom? And they injected it into my eyeball. Wait

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Speaker 1: they okay, so they injected it into the ball because

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Speaker 1: let me guess, the snake bit you in the eye

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Speaker 1: over and over again, repeatedly. Yes, so we're on. You

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Speaker 1: were taken to the emergency room because you sat on

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Speaker 1: a rattlesnake who then repeatedly bait you in the face

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Speaker 1: and eyeballs. And this was over this past weekend. Yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: that was my weekend. You see, you're having trouble remembering this.

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Speaker 1: It kind of proves my point. This is a life

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Speaker 1: altering event. And even though it's only Wednesday, you're you're

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Speaker 1: not remembering that. You're absolutely right, point taken. Huh So

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Speaker 1: the bottom line is, if it is Wednesday or beyond,

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Speaker 1: don't ask someone how their weekend was. I don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I get it. I get it now. Yeah, so Wednesday borderline.

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Speaker 1: Don't ask Monday Tuesday, Fine, you're within the zone. How

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Speaker 1: was your weekend? Totally Wednesday maybe not, but by Thursday Friday,

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Speaker 1: how was your weekend? It's crazy, it's crazy because you've

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Speaker 1: already gone weight, you've shot way past. I would try

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Speaker 1: how was your night last night? Because Thursday Friday, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna get confusing because it's gonna be like, how how

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Speaker 1: was your weekend? Like you mean my weekend coming up?

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Speaker 1: You can always just say how are you? Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: That's so boring. Though, yeah, or you know, what are

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Speaker 1: you up to today? Yeah? I guess. But what if

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Speaker 1: here's the problem. What if it's Thursday and I've seen

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Speaker 1: this person Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and I just keep

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Speaker 1: forgetting to ask them how their weekend was, and I

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Speaker 1: legitimately wanted to know how their weekend was. Do I

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Speaker 1: just I know what. I would sit them down and go, hey,

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Speaker 1: I know it's Thursday, and I remembered you having a

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Speaker 1: big weekend last weekend. I know it's four days since

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Speaker 1: the weekend, but could you go back and just tell

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Speaker 1: me how your weekend was. That's it, That's it. I

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Speaker 1: figured it out. Good, Thank you, Carolina. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're welcome. Mhm. Shakespeare, what Buckingham, Las, Tower of London, England,

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Speaker 1: fish and chips, the English language? What do all these

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Speaker 1: things have in common? That's right, they came from England,

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Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Caroline? I find England and

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Speaker 1: all things English to be utterly fascinating, and thus Lee

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Speaker 1: I have chosen England as the topic of today's show.

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Speaker 1: We've all studied England in the history books, and much

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Speaker 1: of it is embedded in our brains, and yet some

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Speaker 1: facets of England are as mysterious as the secrets contained

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Speaker 1: in the famous pagan structure known as Stone Hinged. Over

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Speaker 1: the centuries, many groups of people have ruled over the

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Speaker 1: island nation. Whether it was the Vikings, the Visigoths, the Romans,

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Speaker 1: the Normans or Norman lear some one has always been

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Speaker 1: knocking on England's door. Finally, King Arthur and the Knights

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Speaker 1: of the round Table said enough is enough. They kicked

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Speaker 1: everyone out, gave Henry the Eighth the Turkey Leg, and

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Speaker 1: the rest, as they say, a stray Wait, we didn't

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Speaker 1: get that. What did you say? The rash aka? The

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Speaker 1: rest is history. We got it. Now's a good time

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Speaker 1: to go take a peep. We gotta take a commercial

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Speaker 1: break today. We are so fortunate to be joined by

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Speaker 1: two people who are actual subjects of the Commonwealth, so

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Speaker 1: we can take a deeper dive into all things England.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna start with you if you don't mind, and

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Speaker 1: would you please tell the listeners your name. Hello, my

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Speaker 1: name is Adrian, and they keep heaving me well. Adrian,

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Speaker 1: thank you for taking time to join us here on

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Speaker 1: the rund Burgundy Podcast. This is Carolina, Hi nice. Let

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Speaker 1: me let me start by asking you this. When you

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Speaker 1: think of England, what comes to mind? You know, I

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Speaker 1: think of I think of so many different things. I

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Speaker 1: think of the birthplace of constitutional monarchy. I think of

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Speaker 1: industrial revolution, colonialism. Yes, one of the greatest empires the

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Speaker 1: world has ever seen. And then the fall of that empire,

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Speaker 1: England has made I mean astounding contributions to literature and

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Speaker 1: music and technology and the rule of law. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the list really is in list, it really is. It

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Speaker 1: really is. Um. It's a fascinating place of fascinating culture. Um.

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Speaker 1: Was was London home to you? No? I wish um.

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Speaker 1: When I was younger, you know, we were lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to visit London and later I did go to university there.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like I know it well. Interesting? So, um,

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Speaker 1: so you didn't live in London. Where where did you

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Speaker 1: grow up? Okay? And where is Auckland. It's in the

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Speaker 1: North Island. Oh that's right, that's right. I knew that.

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Speaker 1: I love the North Island. I mean, sorry, never mind,

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Speaker 1: keep growing. I love it. I love the North Island.

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Speaker 1: It's beautiful there, lovely. Yes. And let's see I've been there. Oh,

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Speaker 1: oh you have been. That's great. But yeah, I took

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Speaker 1: the train. Took the train from London and it's beautiful countryside.

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Speaker 1: It's just gorgeous. There's there's no train from London. Well,

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Speaker 1: sure there is, yes, because I took it. I took

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Speaker 1: it right into Auckland station. I took it from Paddington

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Speaker 1: and about the ticket and I said, straight to Auckland.

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Speaker 1: So oh you know the distance technically from from London

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Speaker 1: to Auckland. Ess, Actually it's a living thousand miles. Eleventh, Wait,

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Speaker 1: what part of England are you from? Well, I'm not

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Speaker 1: from any path of England, from New Zealand. You've got

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Speaker 1: to be kidding me, Carolina. Sorry, this is actually I

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Speaker 1: just found her in the hallway and she sounded really British. Well,

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Speaker 1: I actually can't blame you at all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: We're just going to turn off your mic and then

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Speaker 1: you can get out of here. Okay, okay, okay, um,

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Speaker 1: now I'll turn my attention to you over here. What

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Speaker 1: is your name and are you from England? My name

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Speaker 1: is b and yes I am from England. Okay, great,

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Speaker 1: this is Carolina. Did you know the other woman who

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Speaker 1: was in here? I've never seen that woman before. Okay,

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Speaker 1: did you know she was not English. Absolutely, Really, you're

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Speaker 1: not just saying that she sounded nothing like an English person.

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Speaker 1: It's like how a deer knows that a dog is

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Speaker 1: not a deer. I guess sounds crazy to me. What

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Speaker 1: where do you live now? Do you still live in

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Speaker 1: England or do you just visit? And I live in

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles, California. I get back to England probably every year.

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Speaker 1: Stuck upon Yorkshire tea essential very good? And what part

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Speaker 1: of England is that? Exactly? So Yorkshire is in the

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Speaker 1: north of England and I'm from a city called Bradford City.

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Speaker 1: Just celebrate Christmas in is it? It's extra Christmas Eve there?

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Speaker 1: It's got to be. It's not known for festivities. Are

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Speaker 1: you guys against Christmas? Is there a war on Christmas

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Speaker 1: there in Bramford, Braford? Yeah? I guess it gets a

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Speaker 1: little festive. It's it's a mixing part of cultures, so

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Speaker 1: we celebrate anything and everything, right, wonderful, wonderful. How would

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Speaker 1: you describe the English accent? Well, I think there's about

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Speaker 1: a hundred and fifty different English dialects. There can't be

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Speaker 1: someone does a study for you, just making that up?

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Speaker 1: But seriously, how many how many dialects. Well, let's let's

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Speaker 1: say a hundred and sixty. Oh, well, you can't go up.

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Speaker 1: I think on last check on Google it was a

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Speaker 1: hundred and sixty. I'm very interested in this kind of

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Speaker 1: thing because my dialects quite unusual. You might, I think

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Speaker 1: it just sounds a little bit confusing. That's because you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're from England, you could live like a mile

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Speaker 1: away from someone and sound completely different. Right. Well, and

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Speaker 1: do do you often get mistaken for being from New Zealand? Yes?

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Speaker 1: I get mistaken for New Zealand Australian, South African. I've

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Speaker 1: been asked if English is my first language, and it

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Speaker 1: is absolutely being from England. Yes, right, kind of invented it.

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Speaker 1: We get it, Carolina, What were you going to say? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I actually was going to ask if English was your

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Speaker 1: first language, and it's always been your first language always?

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Speaker 1: Have you do know any other languages? Do you know

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Speaker 1: New Zealand? I haven't studied New Zealand. It's not a language,

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Speaker 1: it's just a dialect because they speak English in New Zealand.

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Speaker 1: Our first guess really really through me. And I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: for not being professional, but thank you for hanging in

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Speaker 1: there with us today. Let me ask you this, why

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Speaker 1: is English food so bad? I mean, I happen to

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Speaker 1: like it, but for a lot of people they say,

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Speaker 1: you've heard the old saying. I'm sure if you're going

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Speaker 1: to visit England packed two suitcases, one filled with your

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Speaker 1: clothes and one filled with sandwiches, why why is English

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Speaker 1: food so bad? I think English food is very practical.

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Speaker 1: So England is kind of just like this cold, rocky

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Speaker 1: island in the middle of the sea. So the food

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Speaker 1: is really about it being kind of studgy, keeping you warm,

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Speaker 1: keeping you full, rather than like a culinary experience. Studgy. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I like that word because we don't have that word

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Speaker 1: over here. I'm just gonna get that down. Write down

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Speaker 1: that word Carolina stodgy, and I'll use it in my

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Speaker 1: speech tomorrow at the community Center. I didn't know, but

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Speaker 1: you're okay. It's in my book, it's in the calendar, okay. Um.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever drink mead or ale both regularly? When

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Speaker 1: I turned toty, I decided I was going to get

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Speaker 1: into stout. Oh stout that now, that's the heavier of

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Speaker 1: the beers, right, call him, I'm sorry, are you bullying me? Right?

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Speaker 1: Now I haven't drunk any stout today. Very professional. Now,

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Speaker 1: mead meat is a a alcoholic beverage. It is considered

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Speaker 1: a beer, or is it. It's considered to be a

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Speaker 1: regularly drunk of a horn. And there's chunks of flesh

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Speaker 1: in it. No flesh, just so it's not like a

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Speaker 1: soupy broth. No, okay, no, nothing like a broth. Actually, um,

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Speaker 1: I know Harry Potter is a movie, right, that's a given. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we got that. It's in fact, it's a wonderful movie.

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Speaker 1: One of the reviews I read said it was stodgy,

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Speaker 1: that's how good it is. I can't believe you read

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Speaker 1: those reviews, Carolina. You know I read all the movie reviews.

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Speaker 1: I know. I just feel like Harry Potter. It's like

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Speaker 1: reading the book review for Harry Potter. Anyway. Um so,

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Speaker 1: Harry Potter, it's a movie. But some of the magic

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Speaker 1: has to be real, you know, it had just has

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Speaker 1: to be I mean, what do you think do do

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Speaker 1: do most people carry wands in England in case of

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Speaker 1: an emergency? No? English people are very sensible. Doesn't really

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Speaker 1: no magic. I definitely didn't think people carry ones, right,

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Speaker 1: although our passports, do you have unicorns on them, so

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Speaker 1: there is that. Well, those are conflicting because because the

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Speaker 1: unicorn is a magical creature. Exactly do do you go?

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Speaker 1: I know in the English countryside there are the old

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Speaker 1: fox and hound, the fox runs where you hunt for foxes.

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Speaker 1: Um do they ever hunt for unicorns? Is that why

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Speaker 1: it's on the passport? There's no unicorn hunt to my knowledge,

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Speaker 1: and I think they streak sticked vaicely to fox hunting

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Speaker 1: because the first thing I do when I visit London

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Speaker 1: is I order it unicorn steak and get a big

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Speaker 1: flagon of mead Ron just read the Harry Potter books

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Speaker 1: and loved them as we all loved them. I loved

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Speaker 1: I know, but hogwarts. Um, there is a word that

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Speaker 1: the English use. How do I get into this? Just

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Speaker 1: dive in Ron. It starts with a sea and rhymes

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Speaker 1: with punt. Going to ask this, okay, sorry, is it

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Speaker 1: okay for Americans to use it? Promise me you will

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Speaker 1: never use that word. I'm just asking because you go,

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Speaker 1: you know, you walk around the streets of London and

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Speaker 1: it's you hear it every five seconds. It does get

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Speaker 1: used liberally, but it's okayful Lindon, because they have the accent,

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Speaker 1: so why can't we use it here? Not that I

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Speaker 1: want to use it. I'm just more of a sociological

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Speaker 1: linguistic study. I think the official answer would just be

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Speaker 1: like it isn't anyone else is to take It's a

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Speaker 1: very specific RN. You called me that yesterday when I

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Speaker 1: was late. No, but I said, let's imagine we're in England,

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Speaker 1: right and you were late I know, so therefore it

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Speaker 1: was legal in a way. I shouldn't have called you that.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. The movie American Werewolf in London was quite

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Speaker 1: a hit. Um did it cause mass hysteria in the

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Speaker 1: streets of London? I think even there it was a movie.

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Speaker 1: People could tell a difference. So no hysteria and no

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Speaker 1: no reported sightings of wewelves in London, is Isle swhere

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Speaker 1: in England. Oh so there was not that the werewolf

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Speaker 1: sightings didn't increase, because that's the research I had done. No,

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Speaker 1: one time in my hometown there was a rat that

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Speaker 1: was as big as a dog. Maybe that was confused.

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Speaker 1: Maybe people thought the giant rat was a werewolf exactly. No,

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Speaker 1: I want you to be honest with me, is this

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Speaker 1: is this a good British accent, and I can take

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Speaker 1: criticism and just be as brutally honest as you need

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Speaker 1: to be. I'm just shining of a shade im and

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Speaker 1: I live in foggy London town. That is not truth

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Speaker 1: for accent, you don't know what you're talking about. Maybe

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Speaker 1: saying more because that one was we couldn't even pick

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Speaker 1: that up. Really well, I'm a shine of a shade

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Speaker 1: I am, and I live in folly landon down Yeah.

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Speaker 1: You would not get into Downton a be with that

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Speaker 1: kind of By the way, we'll keep working on it.

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Speaker 1: Downton Abbey. Ah, why did they end it? It could

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Speaker 1: have gone on forever as far as I was concerned,

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Speaker 1: there's going to be a movie? Really yeah? I think so?

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Speaker 1: Will they have wands? I don't think there's a magical

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Speaker 1: element to Downton Abbey. It's very serious, it's very accurate.

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Speaker 1: I found it so fascinating, and I think we'll always

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Speaker 1: be interested in how the other half lives, right, meaning

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Speaker 1: like downstairs, Yes, between the rich people and the working class.

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Speaker 1: I mean they pull their pants on one leg at

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Speaker 1: a time, just as everyone else does. Right. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: that's beautiful. I live in down gen Aby, I do

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Speaker 1: next stop Downey. That was better. I think I'm getting better.

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Speaker 1: I think it needs work. Mhmm. Here's a political question.

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Speaker 1: Are you happy that England let America go? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think given the distance between England and America, they

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Speaker 1: were already quite separate. Yeah, but there is a part

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Speaker 1: of every British subject who ruses the day when comes around,

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh gosh, and we're just we're just we're

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Speaker 1: eating corn on the cub and lighting fireworks that the

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Speaker 1: Brits aren't like, we let that one get away. We

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Speaker 1: have our own firework day on the fifth of November. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's not a competition. Were kind of over it. You

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Speaker 1: don't have to yell at me or those your real teeth.

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Speaker 1: These are my real teeth. Now you have wonderful teeth.

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Speaker 1: These are actually my baby teeth. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's a British thing, but I've only ever had one

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Speaker 1: set of teeth. They could fall out any minute. Ron,

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Speaker 1: that's so crazy. Ron only has his baby. I only

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Speaker 1: have my baby teeth. Well, maybe you have British Maybe

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Speaker 1: these are wow wow, m what are you doing after

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Speaker 1: the show? I'm sorry, let's just keep going. They referred

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Speaker 1: to Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister, as the Iron Lady.

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Speaker 1: But she the Iron Lady was just a that was

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Speaker 1: just a title she got from her her strong leadership.

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Speaker 1: There's there's no part of her that's made of iron,

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Speaker 1: Like she didn't have like an iron implant putting her

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Speaker 1: leg or anything like that. That's a good question. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think there was any part that was made

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Speaker 1: of metal, more like she had metal. But you said

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Speaker 1: that's a good question. So we don't know for sure.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen an X ray of micro facher should we?

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Speaker 1: But is that something people are talking about in England

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Speaker 1: to give her a full body skin to make sure

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Speaker 1: she doesn't have parts of iron in her body. I

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Speaker 1: haven't seen that being discussed. But you do raise an

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Speaker 1: interesting question. Until now, it hasn't been discussed, hasn't been discussed. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's called good journalism, that's what it's called. Yeah, um,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. This was just a simply fascinating discussion.

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Speaker 1: And I think I think you've answered almost all the

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Speaker 1: questions I had. Caroline, did you have any anything you

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Speaker 1: know what? The girl from New Zealand needs a write

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Speaker 1: home Tinny Zealand. Oh no, no, no, think I don't

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Speaker 1: unless there's a bridge that goes there. It's eleven thousand miles.

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Speaker 1: Come on, she just seems right to look awake, got it,

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Speaker 1: no problem, practically the same anyway. Be amazing, Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you for your time, Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this important announcement. Well, Carolina,

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Speaker 1: that was a fascinating show. Let's uh, let's do our

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Speaker 1: fact check. How do we do? Okay? Um, stonehenge right, stonehenged?

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Speaker 1: Stonehenge is actually how it's pronounced. And what did I say,

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Speaker 1: stonehenge unhinged? Stone hinged? That's not the way you say exactly,

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Speaker 1: okay um. And then I just we've poked some holes

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Speaker 1: in the rattlesnake story, so we just want to get okay.

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Speaker 1: I think we covered it very good, as my mother

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Speaker 1: would say, all in all, not bad. This is Ron

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Speaker 1: Burgundy reminding you that only you can prevent forest fires

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Speaker 1: unless there is lightning that strikes a remote part of

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Speaker 1: the wilderness, and then it's all the animal's fault for

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Speaker 1: failing to be vigilant until next time. So long, everybody,

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Speaker 1: stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of the

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Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy Podcast On the next Ron Burgundy Podcast. So

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Speaker 1: many broadcasters feel the need to fill every moment with

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Speaker 1: mindless chatter that is not the Burgundy style. Here I'll

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Speaker 1: show you what I mean. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is

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Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio Podcast Network and Funnier Die.

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Speaker 1: I'm Ron Burgundy. I'm the host, writer and exa acutive producer.

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Speaker 1: Carolina Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. The

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Speaker 1: show was also produced by Whitney Hodek, Jack O'Brien, Miles Gray,

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Speaker 1: and Nick Stuff. Our executive producer is Mike Farren. Our

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Speaker 1: consulting producer is Andrew Steeve. Our associate producer is Anna Hosni.

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Speaker 1: Our writer is Jake Fogois. Our production supervisor is Colin McDougall.

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Speaker 1: This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stump.

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Speaker 1: See you next Thursday on The Ron Burgundy Podcast.