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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of About Me This. I'm

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Speaker 1: your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock. Hey man,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why you keep asking me this, but

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Speaker 1: the answer is still yes. But I beg great. Let's

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Speaker 1: mean a rochamis Shall we, in no particular orders say

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Speaker 1: hello to James Heeny, Jenna, Janine and or Jimbo. When

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Speaker 1: is this gonna stop? All right? I can't stop. I

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Speaker 1: won't stop. We're gonna keep going and going and going.

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Speaker 1: Rockefeller Records. Baby, Joey, I don't understand why you would

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Speaker 1: feel the need to try me in on James intro. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: just you just cast stop? Okay? Look over there, it's

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Speaker 1: returning champion Caroline Cotter. Cotter Hell, I just met her.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe men and women will someday fly above? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And I think it's going to happen sooner than you

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Speaker 1: think you personally, um, maybe by the end of Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's all your permanent record. Uh do you ho ho?

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Speaker 1: It's Chris av Alarado, Rockefellow record, Barando on my mind.

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Speaker 1: When will you finally look in the mirror and say, well,

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Speaker 1: all right then, Jesus Christ, I wish I knew an answer.

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Speaker 1: I wish I knew an answer, but I'm in therapy

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Speaker 1: weekly and I'm working hard on it, so hopefully by

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Speaker 1: the end, Okay, it's gonna be a big, big time

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Speaker 1: for all of us. Uh. Then to turn the heat

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Speaker 1: down because Joey Greer is here. Joe means Joe, what's

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Speaker 1: tomorrow looking like for you? Tomorrow is looking like a

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Speaker 1: good day, slight weather pattern coming over the mountain ranges,

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Speaker 1: looking like a high of sixty four, and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: be having a cold front. Let it go, nobody. That's

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Speaker 1: his name? Yeah, I have changed it to that. Just

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Speaker 1: say exacting and last is it last? Already? Can't be? Yeah? Last,

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Speaker 1: But stay the all away from me if you think

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Speaker 1: him least. It's senior Craig cow Ski right about now?

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Speaker 1: So nice? When will you stop singing this? If referring

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Speaker 1: to the Rocket Feller skank from Holy Crap, I had

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Speaker 1: that as you're Oh, my prophecies come true? All right,

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Speaker 1: let's do a damn show. As always, we invite you

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Speaker 1: to be a v I P member of our Patreon page.

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Speaker 1: Bonus episodes not available to non members. There's a phone

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Speaker 1: number for just v I P S. Will you call

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Speaker 1: and leave a message asked Joey, what the fuck and

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Speaker 1: we'll reply to one of our hanks. Maybe would you

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Speaker 1: can get a recording of afterwards UH. These streamline for everyone,

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Speaker 1: but exclusively for v i P members after the fact

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Speaker 1: on on demand on the Patreon page. Please join our

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Speaker 1: super core fans by going to Patreon dot com slash alchemy.

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Speaker 1: That is Patreon dot com slash alchemy. There is UH. Then,

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Speaker 1: thanks again for everyone who came out to sketch Fest.

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Speaker 1: Really appreciate the love so very very much. We'll be

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Speaker 1: doing more live shows as we do UH every first

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Speaker 1: Sunday of the month at west Side Comedy Theater. Go

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Speaker 1: to Westside Comedy Theater dot com four D eight UM.

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Speaker 1: Almost all of our scene suggestions today we gather from

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Speaker 1: our listener emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please

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Speaker 1: write to the Damn Podcast at your name here at

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Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. I love reading the emails my

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Speaker 1: own damn self and appreciate it each and every one

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Speaker 1: of you for going to your name here at alchemy

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Speaker 1: this dot com. Our first scene ifact come from patron

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Speaker 1: v i P member David, who wrote scene suggestion no

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Speaker 1: Peaking James here's my fourth scene suggestion. I almost feel

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Speaker 1: bad for hogging them, but f you, I'm a Patreon subscriber. Wow, well, well,

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Speaker 1: well played the Alchemy this cast. Here's a scene suggestion.

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Speaker 1: The Alchemy cast go to a podcast convention, kind of

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Speaker 1: a comic con for podcasts. It could happen. They could exist.

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Speaker 1: Actually they do exist all over the country, and it's

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Speaker 1: kind of obnoxious. Uh. They there, they meet a variety

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Speaker 1: of fans. Ideas include, of course, the uber fan who

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Speaker 1: listens to everything in every episode and likes to point

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Speaker 1: out and get some inconsistencies within and between episodes. The

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Speaker 1: fans of scene suggestions were used, but is disappointed with

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Speaker 1: how it was played out and so on. Uh, fans

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Speaker 1: dressed all like James Heeney what have you? Thanks for

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Speaker 1: all the laughs, and yes, I will be disappointed if

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Speaker 1: this scene goes in a different direction. Just kidding, David Weaver.

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Speaker 1: It's make way, please make way, make way. Here's a

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Speaker 1: green room, all right, so whatever you guys knew. What

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Speaker 1: was your name? My name's Broden. Yeah, Broden. If I

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Speaker 1: could get some protein water, please, protein coaching water, and uh,

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Speaker 1: cresh for you anything, I'm gonna have am you don't

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Speaker 1: gotta make it up if you don't want anything. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sober, but I would like a want? Thank yeah?

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Speaker 1: You kind of protein water water? No, no, no, I

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Speaker 1: was pretending like I want the same thing he want.

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Speaker 1: What do you want to do? Something like her? Kind

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Speaker 1: protein water on ice? You wanted just a couple of

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Speaker 1: licens of protein water? What do you want? I need

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Speaker 1: like her? What I need liquor? Yeah? What do you want?

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Speaker 1: What do you want? What do you I don't know,

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Speaker 1: robby alcoholic? Just give me something that makes me drink.

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Speaker 1: But what do you if? I don't know what whiskey? Oh?

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Speaker 1: This is a great the ground? All was that necessary? Was?

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Speaker 1: It was? What can I get you something? Uh? First

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Speaker 1: of all, I can't help but notice, but there's brown

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Speaker 1: m and ms in this bowl. I read your writer. Okay, good,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. It's nothing brown eminem's yeah okay um.

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Speaker 1: I put him on my mouth, just like requests and

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Speaker 1: sput them back up in the bowl. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: reading that. I might have put that in there. I did.

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Speaker 1: It's just to check the mixture that people read our writer.

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Speaker 1: If they can get that right, they'll get everything else

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Speaker 1: right now nice to do you anything? Oh ship? Bad news? Guys?

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Speaker 1: What is it? Vanessa? What's up? She can't make it?

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Speaker 1: Holy ship? What are you talking about? She says she

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Speaker 1: can't make it? She says she has way more important

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Speaker 1: things to do today. Of course she does. But what

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Speaker 1: the funk? But here's my thought. There's a whole bunch

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Speaker 1: of screaming super fans out there. What if we grab

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Speaker 1: one of them and say it's Vanessa's crazy, I'll do it.

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Speaker 1: I can't do snoof at this point. That's easy. That's easy.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to do? No? Thank you. You couldn't

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Speaker 1: be Vanessa. You don't look like even close to Vanessa. Yeah, James,

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Speaker 1: you weren't talking about him. We're talking about geting an

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Speaker 1: actual woman. That's what I was thinking. But he's under

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Speaker 1: the impression he's going to get to play Vanessa. Oh

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Speaker 1: is that what you thought? Dude? Thinking section again? All right,

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Speaker 1: so let me just go get the protein water protein

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Speaker 1: it for you? Right? No, Okay, thanks a lot. Did

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Speaker 1: I miss hear that he didn't want to be Vanessa?

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Speaker 1: And probably? But uh but that's a thing though, right James,

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Speaker 1: It's like one of your cool eccentricities. What you'd miss

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Speaker 1: hear things. Is that a choice? Huh, that's I don't

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Speaker 1: have a thing. Let me who are you? I'm a fan.

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Speaker 1: It's really hard to My name is Marvel, Marvel. Hard

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Speaker 1: to get in Marvel. It is hard to get in here.

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Speaker 1: It's our green room, like, yeah, I stepped over a

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Speaker 1: dead body to get in here. I'm not sure it's

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Speaker 1: completely dead. Can we do for you? Um? I was

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Speaker 1: just wondering if you guys would sign my I did

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Speaker 1: some original artwork so all of you based off of

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Speaker 1: what I think you look like. I got to see

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Speaker 1: the James anyone? Can we show it? Can we see

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Speaker 1: the James anyone? Yeah? This is kind of um, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. This is it Jesus? I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: But it's not supposed to be based off of your voice.

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Speaker 1: So I did. It's like us. Yeah, I've never seen

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Speaker 1: any of you in real life. If I just drew

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Speaker 1: based off of what you sound like and when I

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Speaker 1: think you look like. So for you, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like you'll see. My inspiration is kind of like a salamander.

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Speaker 1: It looks like huge must Yeah, that's what everybody for you? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Do you know Joey career. Yeah, I hate him. Would

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Speaker 1: you like to be in the show? My second one?

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Speaker 1: That my second question? You want to do the show

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Speaker 1: me that? Yeah, I'm supposed to be at the one

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Speaker 1: of the pan What do you mean I'm one of

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Speaker 1: the podcasters, but I just don't have a landyard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing alchemy this. You don't look like a podcast, dude?

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Speaker 1: What you don't look like a podcast? Or I don't know,

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Speaker 1: what do you try to is hearing me or something

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Speaker 1: I heard you? I don't know. Well, I'm asking me.

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be inside. My group left me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: look look at this little pocket me. All right, have

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Speaker 1: look at your face. You are so pretty. You can't

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Speaker 1: be a podcast. You're a pretty boy. Good ines. Uh,

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Speaker 1: they're inside. I just got good. I have my ID,

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Speaker 1: but my group. I need to see your coredentials. Get

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Speaker 1: a load of this, he says, he's a podcaster. That's

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Speaker 1: the funniest thing. It's a podcast, comedy podcast. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's her name? When does the name of it? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: credentials in the name podcast. Here's my idea. What does

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Speaker 1: the name of goddamn fucking thing? I'm sorry, so just

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Speaker 1: kiss my neck. I just want to make real. I'm sorry, really,

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Speaker 1: one of my neck was real. What I mean, you're

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Speaker 1: not a podcaster? I am seem like it. So I'm Chris.

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Speaker 1: As you know, I didn't know that he's my picture

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Speaker 1: of you. Thanks, just a lollipop. Oh, I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm about to introduce you the Craig. But he's

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Speaker 1: a little um how do I say this? He's made

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Speaker 1: me mama move, made me mama move. Hey, budd many

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Speaker 1: mumbling mice, what what's up? Sorry, just just getting my space.

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Speaker 1: I understand we have a special guest. I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to introduce. This is Marble, Marvel. This is Marvel Marble. Okay, God,

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Speaker 1: here it comes Jesus. So what's going on? You did

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Speaker 1: some fan art? Yeah, I drew a picture of you.

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Speaker 1: It looks exactly like you. I really does, looking sexually

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Speaker 1: just based on my voice aloon. Yeah wow, I did

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Speaker 1: that all with the number two pencil. That's really impressive.

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Speaker 1: I think it's especially impressive. I actually knew you looked

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Speaker 1: a tiny, tiny, tiny bit like Wayne Federman. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: I can see a little bit of him in this

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Speaker 1: the Yeah, I know it's a little like that. That

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Speaker 1: bunny duck thing like this way, it looks like it

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Speaker 1: looks like I guess the protein water for you don't

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Speaker 1: want there's a floating pieces of steak and then you guys,

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Speaker 1: protein water for you and one for you. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to fucking protein waters? Christ Okay what Vanessa? Oh

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Speaker 1: there is you get some protein water for you? And

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Speaker 1: I got you special? Thank you? Some more ice? I

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Speaker 1: assume this is frozen liquor just oh yeah, we'll call

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Speaker 1: it I it's just ice. Do you want ice? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god? You know Crystal, I felt jacked out. This

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Speaker 1: is good five minutes. We need we need Joey? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Doing do we need him? Well? Guys no, I mean no,

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Speaker 1: I guess we don't need him. We want Yes, I

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Speaker 1: want him here y have around like a mascot. Ye

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Speaker 1: would you mind? But would you mind running out there?

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go out because the fans. Could

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Speaker 1: you go out and see there's a very good chance.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a do you have fan art of Joe?

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Speaker 1: Are you all right? Oh my god? What's that? All?

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Speaker 1: Room for your face? But for everybody? When you know

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Speaker 1: what che you could pass for show. But also if

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Speaker 1: you could go out there and see if Joey and

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Speaker 1: you know what, why don't you use this? This is

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Speaker 1: the thing. It's a beautiful Bucks and woman looking for

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Speaker 1: You're going to use the fan art based on that

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Speaker 1: to find Joey out without even thinking. I ate a

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Speaker 1: handful of those eminems that he had chewed got whenever

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Speaker 1: you got man, you've got Craig sick. Guys, I can't

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Speaker 1: go on. No, don't say that. There's no way I

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Speaker 1: can improvise. No, what's you're the one? I'm already brack

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Speaker 1: and bye with my dinosaur. Uh. It was it was

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Speaker 1: a lot to do this. Uh. I mean, you've got

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Speaker 1: Marble here, you know, could you at least help Brodon

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Speaker 1: here trying to see if Joey is not front? All right, bro,

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Speaker 1: I'll hope you try to find Joey. I know what

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Speaker 1: he looks like. You you want to fit in my

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Speaker 1: pocket or something? Yeah? Also, Marvel, do you have your

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Speaker 1: your picture of Joey? Yeah, you already gave it to that.

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Speaker 1: You're just actually just two jet it's the real face,

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Speaker 1: just kind of like at the beginning of the neck,

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Speaker 1: so maybe less judging and more looking. I just say

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Speaker 1: that's what it is. It's my art. Yeah you're now.

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Speaker 1: I just said, all right, so jump in my pocket. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll jump in your pocket. My friend the brother was welcoming.

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Speaker 1: All right, do you want any to el Fuck? We're screwed, guys,

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Speaker 1: We're fucking screwed. Fucking James. You can't do an accent either,

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Speaker 1: can I wait? I can do? You can't. So you

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Speaker 1: can't name the first three to Brooklyn accents? I do, sure,

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Speaker 1: marvel to me. Okay, that's what I'm talking about. Who

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Speaker 1: did that that? Hey, hey, piece'll collapse you Johnny Brooklyn.

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Speaker 1: It's Johnny Brooklyn. Hey someone, Hey, man, I love your podcast.

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Speaker 1: Holy sh it, So we're opening for you. I'm sum

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Speaker 1: yeah you are you? Pieces of ship? Ye scamming a

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Speaker 1: mouse scam Take my bowls of Samaranera bull that's so good? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, you get the fuck? Okay, how much time

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Speaker 1: are we doing before Johnny? I don't know. I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: like probably a few scenes. I don't know if we

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Speaker 1: have forty minutes. We don't have Craig and we don't

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Speaker 1: have Joey, we don't have an stream. I get nervous

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Speaker 1: and clam up on stage, so I can't give it.

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Speaker 1: Clam right up what I clam up. You gotta know

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Speaker 1: what that means. You've heard the term yes and no,

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Speaker 1: but I don't like the sound of it kind of work. Well, Kevin,

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Speaker 1: Maybe what we can do is when you ask me

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Speaker 1: one of those questions at the beginning, I can go

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Speaker 1: on a long but those aren't as cute as you

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Speaker 1: think they are. They aren't. No my accents for a second,

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Speaker 1: I listen, I'm no better, I'm no better. You and

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Speaker 1: I we're barely hanging on here. Then I've had these

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Speaker 1: great mom walks about real true things, and like the

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Speaker 1: hash Browns, you had one, you had the hash problems.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty good. It's good. It was good. Joey, Joey,

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Speaker 1: joe Where are you? Joe Hey, you gonna just say

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Speaker 1: something real quick? Yeah, I really like Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: you can get Thanks man, and thanks for honoring our writer.

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Speaker 1: You guys can't talk in the middle of a podcast convention.

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Speaker 1: You know what dangerous that is? Thousand people walk in

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Speaker 1: every direction. You're gonna get cries. Okay, holy man, everyone

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Speaker 1: is podcasting here. I thought, what does that mean? It

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Speaker 1: means that thinking where is spaghetti? The history of that

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Speaker 1: is only as far as we know and so then actually,

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Speaker 1: if you think about what a plus sign is, it's

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Speaker 1: actually just two lines that are so if you no, no,

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Speaker 1: we got we have every everywhere? What do you everywhere?

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Speaker 1: Trained by day? Joe Rogan by night, all day to

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Speaker 1: turn and look look, okay, look this is my idea.

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Speaker 1: Names of front. Okay, the name of the podcast is. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you're going to have to remember that name. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember the name. You're so pretty you can remember. Stop. Stop,

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Speaker 1: let me feel your face. Don't touch me? Can I

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Speaker 1: have to content? Like? What's the theme? What's the what's

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Speaker 1: the angle the stick? I don't fucking no, It's like, ah,

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Speaker 1: is it about trains? No, it's not about shoes. Uh?

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Speaker 1: No about sports? No plan Stop asking me questions about

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Speaker 1: it's making my head hurt. It was about sports. Can

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Speaker 1: I just make it? Can? I bought one of your

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Speaker 1: phones and I'll call one of the people in the borrow,

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Speaker 1: one of the Please they have all my stuff. I

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Speaker 1: had a fanny pack. My buddy was holding what you

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Speaker 1: want to call I'm gonna call my buddy Chris. Yes, nobody.

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Speaker 1: You have it in memory and I have it in

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Speaker 1: my memory. What are the first five numbers? Uh? Three

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Speaker 1: to three eight six. Oh, that might be right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is right. Okay, what's the rest of it? Let

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Speaker 1: can take the rest of its gonna have your phone

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Speaker 1: typing in my phone? You don't want me to three

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Speaker 1: to three eight six four two nine three six, No,

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Speaker 1: it's not it's perfect, not number perfect. I have to

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Speaker 1: kind of can use it for a second. Let me

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Speaker 1: make sure it's on the other. Hello, it's just someone

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Speaker 1: named Chris. Yeah, I have someone out here named what's

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Speaker 1: your name, Joey, Joey, Joey Man, Joey Man. Tell him

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Speaker 1: how pretty he is? He's very pretty good. Oh I

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Speaker 1: uh wrung number? You pieces ship? So you Joey Man?

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Speaker 1: You got no friends named Chris? Because he did he

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Speaker 1: said it was Chris. When he did say he said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what the fun? You got any other Chris numbers? Yeah? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Four uh seven four four eight three to one? Ringing? Hello? Hello?

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Speaker 1: Is this Chris? Is James? James James Who James Heeney?

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Speaker 1: Hold on a second, you know what James Heeney? No,

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Speaker 1: and now all the way from Gwanas Canal. Forget about it.

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Speaker 1: It's Johnny Brooklyn podcast. John. Hey, what's up? What the

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Speaker 1: fund was? That podcast. Yeah, we got pizza guy here. Hey,

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Speaker 1: what's showing? All? Alright, let's go running. I meet everybody.

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Speaker 1: We got pizza guy and we got we got the

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Speaker 1: dough maan, I forget about it. There it is all right.

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Speaker 1: We got Sally Squeeps, we got Tommy, we got my grandma, grandmamma. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: coffee marble. What the fun was that? You didn't say

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Speaker 1: ship the entire fucking recording. So you guys don't know

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Speaker 1: what clam up? No? I thought it means that, like,

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Speaker 1: you know what a clam but you need to go

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Speaker 1: on stage with us. I didn't agree. I just got

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Speaker 1: why does a sheet? And then you dragged me on sticks.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, I hope, I'm not interrupting anything. That I

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Speaker 1: was so great I never heard. I'll give you this before,

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Speaker 1: and you in particular, we're all your silent bits were

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Speaker 1: so great. Your facial expressions, what about my stuff? That's James.

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Speaker 1: Were you in the show? It was the guy talking

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Speaker 1: a lot and had the excellents? Anyway, I drew a

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Speaker 1: picture of you based on how I thought you would sound,

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Speaker 1: based on seeing you. That's fine. I'm so glad that

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Speaker 1: you liked her because she's now an official member. Really, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is Marvel. This was awful for you didn't found

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Speaker 1: this podcast. I was just a guest. I came on

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Speaker 1: to give him fan art and then he dragged me

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Speaker 1: on the stage. Well you were the breakout star really yeah?

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Speaker 1: I mean I go to a lot of podcast conventions.

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Speaker 1: Podcast conventions. Have you been to him? I've been to

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Speaker 1: Tallahassee Sara Soda, Pensacola closely just around Florida? Yeah, Panhandle area. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Did you happen to see Joey gre out there? I did?

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Speaker 1: And what was you doing? Because we can't find state it? Uh?

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Speaker 1: I mean it looks like a woman, right, big big boobs?

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Speaker 1: Yeah okay, I mean if you were to draw him, yeah,

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Speaker 1: let me do it real quick like this. Yeah, for

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Speaker 1: noticed how much his head looks like boobs? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: think he was at the T shirt booth. Hey, before

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Speaker 1: you head out, do you want to join this podcast?

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Speaker 1: There's not really enough room. Cruspy've bet pretty much. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When I start to improvise, I I talked NonStop. That's perfect,

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Speaker 1: real steamroller. Yeah. With the silence we were getting from

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Speaker 1: the newest member, can you do a snoofer? What is

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Speaker 1: what does that sounding? Yeah, okay, all right, yeah, why not? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Why not accent? What do you what do you think? Well?

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Speaker 1: I just think that there's really only so many microphones

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Speaker 1: when we got one new person, and like I really

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Speaker 1: would like to have lost permanently clearly. Are you trying

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Speaker 1: to do a British thing? Yeah? Oh my god, I

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Speaker 1: like this guy, this guy? Yeah, yeah, you know what,

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Speaker 1: we got room for another. All right, how's your friench accent?

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Speaker 1: Can you do a French accent? He speaking French? Uncanny? Hey, Joey, dude,

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Speaker 1: I know your home. Open up, man, what it's up, dude,

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Speaker 1: Jesus the son out? Yeah, the sun's out? Hey, um, Joe,

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Speaker 1: come back to bed right a second. Hey, I have

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Speaker 1: buddy Hammer. We've been making love for three weeks straight. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I know his and is shaped like a hammer. That's

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Speaker 1: why you want to know where the nicknames. Listen. I

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Speaker 1: know that ballpoint. You've obviously seen ballpoint him. How well,

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Speaker 1: I'll comy this is doing and ye should come to

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Speaker 1: bring me booze or something. Actually, I can't even bring

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Speaker 1: you an the local cash know what the group is

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Speaker 1: now I'm doing this, but you know you are a

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Speaker 1: founding member, and I just wanted to give you a

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Speaker 1: little something. I thinks, all right, what do you want

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Speaker 1: to do to me? Nothing? Man, I was thinking, listen,

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Speaker 1: we're going to do a big, big show tonight. If

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Speaker 1: you can get your act together in the next three

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Speaker 1: or four hours, I say, show up. He's fucking kidding here. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. You're coming here with an envelope

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Speaker 1: full of cash. Yeah. I don't want to do anything

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Speaker 1: in my body's not Forget what you did for that podcast.

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Speaker 1: You could almost do an Australian accident as well as Vanessa. Right,

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Speaker 1: you got that great that great like country like work guy,

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Speaker 1: remember that guy you do? You're great with gunshots? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I was, man, you are? That was three weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: All right, I don't do that anything, Jesus do that anymore. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm walking away. Well, Chris, what are you doing at

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Speaker 1: Chilie's house? What do you mean? I was just bringing

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Speaker 1: him some cash and I was bringing in cash too.

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do to him? Oh? Man, can't

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Speaker 1: wait to see the scene description of that. Our second

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Speaker 1: scene comes from Matt who wrote Alchemists. Here's my scene

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Speaker 1: suggestion that takes place and annual espionage convention where the

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Speaker 1: world's most renowned superspies are in attendance. To protect the

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00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 1: secrecy of the event, it's always announced or advertised as

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Speaker 1: a convention for something incredibly uninteresting or oddly specific. For

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Speaker 1: the first time ever, this year, a non spy somehow

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Speaker 1: gains access. Thanks for all the last many regards, Matt

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Speaker 1: Gwinn ps, Mr Pollock, you're great. And the Marvel's Mrs

390
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Speaker 1: Majel Moist Majel is one of my favorite characters. He

391
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Speaker 1: didn't say that, I just know he did. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for that. Welcome to the place. Take the podcast please,

393
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Speaker 1: podcast tickets I do for the podcasts convention. Oh, yes,

394
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Speaker 1: for the podcast. Yes, we have a podcast. It's about

395
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Speaker 1: the weather. Oh, it's so good to see a fellow

396
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Speaker 1: podcast Yes, hello, yes, yes, I haven't seen you since

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Speaker 1: the last podcast Diamond. Yes, yes, hello, I'm at the

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Speaker 1: wrong place. Sorry, I gotta go. All right on the

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Speaker 1: way he thought he was probably had a podcast convention.

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Speaker 1: Here's my credential, gentlemen. May I see the tattoo? Yes,

401
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: very good. Welcome, Welcome, and you can its scanning scan

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Speaker 1: It's great. Welcome, Welcome, as every year, we asked that

403
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: you take copious notes of anyone who is seemingly uninteresting

404
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Speaker 1: to you personally. We compile a complete dossier on each

405
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Speaker 1: and every guest. Every year there's a raffle at the end.

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Speaker 1: We know how to appreciate your feedback and the raffle.

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Speaker 1: This year is a new cadillact. Oh wow, you know,

408
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Speaker 1: I am so shocked. Like, I meet you online, we

409
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Speaker 1: go for a date. Yeah, I'm a spy and then

410
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: so are you? Yeah? Almost back? Can you believe it? So?

411
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Speaker 1: I guess you've been to this convention before. Oh yeah,

412
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Speaker 1: I've been like the past five years. I've ever seen

413
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: you before, though you weren't like a different face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah.

414
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: This is exciting because I you know, I always want

415
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 1: to tell my significant other like what I'm up to

416
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 1: and then having to kill them because I me too. Um,

417
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 1: where's your tattoo? Where's my tattoo? Um? I don't feel

418
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: comfortable showing it because it's like underneath my breast. Nice,

419
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 1: that's good, that's a good place to put it. Yeah,

420
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 1: where's your tattoo? Oh yeah, fund of my stupid No no, please, yeah,

421
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: I got as you can say. They point in different directions,

422
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: even if I'm looking straight forward. I think you're great.

423
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: And listen the details on your last mission. Wow, that

424
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 1: was something I've never I didn't know dragons actually existed.

425
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: They did exist, and I took well they don't anymore.

426
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 1: I had to kill all the dragon You are fascinating. Yeah,

427
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: and yours was pretty cool too. You had to go

428
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: undercover at a post office. Yeah, you know, you know.

429
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 1: I triple checked the address on this, and I think

430
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: it was the right place for this, supposed to be

431
00:25:54,920 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: as h secret agent. Why are you saying it like

432
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 1: it's a secret spionage can do you want me to

433
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,959
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying? Don't look at you Look at

434
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: the invite. It's a spionage convention, that podcast and it's

435
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: this address. Puss me in, Let me in. Do you

436
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 1: have the tattoos? Yeah? May I see it? Listening inconvenient

437
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: place to show right now? Right now? What about it later? Well,

438
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: in private, I would show you sure later. Come with me.

439
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: Is this the line we're trying to get through? We're

440
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: trying to get podcast even wing wing? Okay? Yeah, here

441
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 1: I am lovely. Thank you. Close your eyes because I'll

442
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: save this for the fourth plus day. Okay, okay, I'm

443
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 1: looking away up right under there and look at that.

444
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: All right, thank you very much. I gotta tell you

445
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: the whole way here. I thought maybe you were bullshitting,

446
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: but you really are spying. Uh nothing, I'm being stupid.

447
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: Come on, let's look a drink. You are stupid now,

448
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: so if you'd follow me, please, I'm following step in here.

449
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: Look at these cat chits? Sorry, any of these dr smith? Yes, yes,

450
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: say this gentleman is trying to gain access. You're just

451
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: trying to Here's my invite right there. Anyone can get

452
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: an invite. Clamps activate you cut my arts. I think

453
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: these are small. Who sent you? Who sent me? I

454
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: got this in the mail and Henry cut off at

455
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: one of his nipples. No, no, no, no, no no.

456
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 1: I need both those nipples. They're not just for display.

457
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: I need thank you? Who sent you? Who's my neighbor's invite?

458
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 1: I took it. It was in the wrong mail. Back

459
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: cut off the nipp don't do a thank you? Who

460
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: is your neighbor? I don't know. I mean he's very elusive.

461
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: It doesn't talk much. He's cut off the round part

462
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: of the cheek when he smiles. Don't do it. That's hey, James,

463
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: Uh listen, I can't make it to the convention this year,

464
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: so I was hoping maybe you could go in my

465
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: places in the drawer, Honey, I'm looking in the drawer, Yeah,

466
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: the drawer. If you could go this year in my

467
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: place would be great. Yeah. So I'm gonna give you

468
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: the cretantials, but you have to have a tattoo. Everybody

469
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: right there no socks in the honey. Okay, So you're

470
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: saying this is like pretty cool secret agent stuff. That's

471
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: exactly what I'm saying. So I need to get you

472
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 1: the tattoo. You don't really want to get a tattoo. No,

473
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: we don't have to be a real tattoo. It just

474
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: needs to be a bar. We have reservations at six

475
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: with my mother. I'm ready, can't wait to see her again.

476
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: I need socks. Yeah you do, so we'll I'll get

477
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: the barcode and it'll be like a Hennah tattoo. I

478
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: think they call it where you know you can wash

479
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: it on. Okay, um, do we have to have I

480
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: remember death the sock drawer, but I'd be idiot. But

481
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm looking in the drawers. We so we have to

482
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: put it, maybe somewhere they can easily scan it easily,

483
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: your butt, cheeks or under your tongue under the time.

484
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: Doesn't have to it doesn't have to be on the taint.

485
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: But that's good. I like where your head's at. Okay, well,

486
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: as long as it doesn't matter where it tests. I'm

487
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: just gonna give you, well, thank you slip, and then

488
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: you can apply it and you just put water and

489
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: dab it on, and then let's just hold it there

490
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: for three minutes. I'm reading the instruction. Well usually it's

491
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Super Secret Convention. Now

492
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: we have many awards to give away tonight. Congratulations to

493
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: a lot of you. You stopped a lot of bad guys.

494
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: Diamond has been shot. What's but that's right, Davin Burke,

495
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,479
Speaker 1: choosing right next to me. She had been shot right

496
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 1: through the head. WHOA Okay, nobody panic, nobody, you reach

497
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: for your lasers. Nobody moved. Nobody moved. My suggestion, this

498
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: is a job for a spy. Lock all the doors,

499
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: nobody leaves until we figure out who committed this crime.

500
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: Where were you during the crime? I was up on

501
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: stage and this feels more like a murder mystery, but

502
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: a spy, a murder spy stree, something a murderer would say,

503
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: or a spy clue. I just dusted her whole body

504
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: for fingerprints, and I found a lot of her own

505
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: fingerprints on there. And I also found the fingerprints of

506
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: that man. What's your name, Jesus Christ? You're bleeding everyone,

507
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: my nipples and your face where you smiled. Oh my god,

508
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: that try. I can't even feel it. I can't even

509
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: feel it. I can stick my tongue to the whole

510
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: especially put him on trial now. I couldn't have murdered anybody.

511
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: Why not, because I'm in a lot of pain. I

512
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: couldn't murder anybody. Here, hold my gun. Sorry, I didn't

513
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: know it was loaded. I didn't even I've never fired

514
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: a gun. He died doing what he does best, which

515
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: is proving a point. That was an accident. Ms. Thompson.

516
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: And this is the newest ladies gun that all the

517
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: spies I've been giving. And I wanted to go over

518
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: a couple of the things about it. You need to

519
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: release your weapon under the rest you mean no, I

520
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: don't mean I mean us. Someone insisted give them your

521
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: weapon trying to you know, hinted me talking off. I'm saying,

522
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: if you're in trouble and they take your gun, this

523
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: button on the side, if you activate it and the

524
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 1: gun will go off on them. Okay, so this is

525
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: an exact replica of my penis, is what you say.

526
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: I don't understand the line of questioning. I'm trying to

527
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 1: understand what you're telling me this cock talk. Yeah, I've

528
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: not been on a podcast before. So what do I do?

529
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: Do you just breathe? Just breathe through. Okay, so we

530
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: Casper Mattress is one of the nicest best mattresses in

531
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,959
Speaker 1: the world. You can if in fact you belong here, sir,

532
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: then show us you're too two. You know what, I

533
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: kind of made a silly thing and I put it

534
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: in between my butt cheeks. So let's see it, Okay,

535
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: I mean at this point it's life or death. So

536
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: between you about cheeks or in the taint exactly? Well, honestly,

537
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: there's not a place or under the penis tongue. Well

538
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: that is the taint under the penis tug. You'll find

539
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: the taint, not on me. I'm not an expert, clearly,

540
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: not So Okay, here we go. Um, now, I'm sure

541
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: it's still there unless I sweat it off. It's just

542
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: a messa looks like a muggy as hell, most of

543
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: us do. Four on. By the way, listen, I'm not

544
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: supposed to be here. My neighbor. My neighbor gave me

545
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: his thing, and I'm so sorry if you just let

546
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: me go alive. Who is this neighbor? Well, you don't

547
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: give us his name his name, yeah, or her name

548
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: or its name. Well, it's it's their name their name. Well,

549
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: there are a couple, and I believe they're probably both

550
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: in the biz uhy biz I mentioned. So they seemed

551
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: to do everything together. And why would they give you

552
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: that to do? Well, they gave me the two and

553
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 1: they said that this year they couldn't. We wanted a

554
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: seat next to the water, right, So what did you get?

555
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: My mother wants a seat next to the water. Honey,

556
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: I got exactly what you want. You got to see

557
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: looking at the water, it's that next to the water.

558
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: What's the difference. But the differences were by the water.

559
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: And then now we're looking at the water. Mommy's hi,

560
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: nice to see you, pasure Oh for interesting? Fine? Fine, fine,

561
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: So how is the biz the business? Great, we can

562
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: get you closer to the water if you'd like. I'm fine.

563
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: Kathlene was saying, maybe that's what you would prefer. You

564
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 1: look too skinny. I can eat more, Kathleen, what do

565
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: we say about the I can need more. We'll talk

566
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: about that later. Okay, let's just can we please get

567
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: an appetizer of just bread? Bread? Yea, thank you? Um?

568
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: Do you want white? You want ride? Do you want

569
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:33,760
Speaker 1: whole wheat? Yes? Okay, great, I'll be back now. Listen.

570
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: I didn't bring I didn't want to have dinner with you,

571
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 1: just to see you too. Obviously I have some business business.

572
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: I am getting out. No, I'm going away. No, I'm

573
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: going to stage my death boat accident and then you

574
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: will never hear from me again. I'm sorry. I just

575
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: I will just sing into the computer I am saying,

576
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: goodbye boat accident. Yes, huh, so we'll get the insurance

577
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: that was putting punching bread. Just come back here and

578
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 1: get bread, punching bread. The person who trained me told

579
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: me to punch in everything. Get the fucking bread. Am

580
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: I supposed to listen to the head chef? Or am

581
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: I supposed to listen to the server. That train being

582
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 1: you're supposed to listen to the head chef. I cook

583
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn. You understand this alright? Wait no, I don't understand.

584
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: Can you explain it? I mean, Brooklyn Bread is the

585
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: best brand the whole God damn, I'm not kidding. I'm

586
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: not gonna you don't make me miss my fucking podcast.

587
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 1: Just take the god damn bread. Okay, I get the fun.

588
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: I will punch it in. Don't punch it just you're

589
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: making me wasting. We are alive. Don't miss this. Don't cry.

590
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: Don't cry just like it's like what you're gonna die

591
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: your brand? We have the whole week we have, right,

592
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: are you okayn? Huh? You haven't bit okay? And oh

593
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 1: oh my god, sit down, have a seat. I'll get hit,

594
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: I'll get spanks. My boss who by boss banks me

595
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: if I sit down. That seems weird. Huh? And here

596
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 1: it's not weird. It's a family restaurant. Give me one second.

597
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 1: Excuse me? My mom? Who's the head chef back here?

598
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 1: We just asked you for her name. We don't need

599
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: an whole anecdote. Well, her name is Kathleen. I've never

600
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: really gotten his name. He's very elusive. I'm surprised that

601
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: she shared her name at all. Do you have a

602
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: last name, first name? I'm not going to do ship

603
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: for us. I don't have a last I mean I

604
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: wanted to say on the invitation if it was addressed

605
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: to them, Well it says it says Smith. But that's

606
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 1: gotta be That sounds like a spy. Roger Smith. Roger Smith,

607
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: you have won the Cadillac. Do you mind if I

608
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: cash in on that? Since I have? So I got

609
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: a hay and then is Roger Smith? Here? Is there?

610
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just have the last name. So

611
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: could I get the cattle? Okay? First of all, you're

612
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: you're bleeding everywhere. Okay, Candiba, you might have killed this

613
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: person here, and then you did kill the person earlier

614
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: who handed you their gun, so you're in a whole

615
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: lot of trouble here, Bud. You can't just walk away

616
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 1: with the spy cadillac. You see what I'm saying. I

617
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 1: see that. That's pretty clear when you say it. I

618
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 1: need a drink. Let me just check your resume here.

619
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: You were the last job spy. Yeah, pretty pretty big

620
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 1: time spy. What does that mean exactly? For the government. No,

621
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: not for the government, independent spy And um, how long

622
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: were you spy independently? Independently? You said you were spy independent? Yeah,

623
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 1: well I was, you know, like a mercenary spy for

624
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: higher by any corporation or even person. Okay, what was

625
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: your second to last assignment? Uh? Well, I was going

626
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: through the recycling container of my neighbor. Uh discover as

627
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: part of the assignment. Yeah, I was spying on them,

628
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: and I discovered that they don't realize some things that

629
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: they think are recyclable aren't recyclable. That just sounds like

630
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 1: no nosy neighbor stuff. No, it's spy work. Uh. Are

631
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: you paid for this job? It's independent work. So it

632
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: was a job you decided to take on yourself. You know,

633
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: you'd be surprised what kind of payment to get background? Here?

634
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: Do you want to work at subway? These are the

635
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 1: things we need to know. I do want to work

636
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: at subway really bad. Why don't you just call my

637
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: reference and I'm sure that uh, rather than have this conversation. Well,

638
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I could tell you all the stories you

639
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: want to hear, but if you hear it from me,

640
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: I could be making it up. I'm a spy. And

641
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 1: did you in fact work at Tegos? You've written downe

642
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: Tegos as well. Yes, I did work at Tegos for

643
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: a very short time. I did. Can I get lettuce? Tomato?

644
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,760
Speaker 1: Banana peppers? Did you just put poison in the sandwich?

645
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: It looked like you slipped this little vin. Yeah, it

646
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: looks like you slipped a violent poison. No, I was

647
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: just you always think you trying to poison you. I'm sorry,

648
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: but Martin, can I talk to you for a second?

649
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 1: Who me? Yes? Mark? Okay, what the hell is this

650
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: is the third person who said that they've been slipping

651
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: some kind of vial of something. Okay, our spokesperson was

652
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 1: a fucking porn freak. Okay. We can't have a goddamn

653
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: employee poison people. We can't take that hit. Do you

654
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 1: understand it? Do you understand I did. I just didn't

655
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 1: think anybody would see me. Excuse me, I can't help

656
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: it over here. It was worse than that. Well, look

657
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 1: at it at some way, like when you're here your

658
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: fans talking about Jared. Right. I have a question. Is

659
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: this is this subway twenty anchors long? Yes? It is.

660
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: I knew it sid's of an actual subway. So Martin Toil,

661
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: please don't okay, alright, anything to keep me out of

662
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 1: working at Togos to Goes. I always thought it was

663
00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: to Goes for some reason. Well, yeah, I'll take a take.

664
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I was looking for Wait, I can't. I

665
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: can't work on all you guys at the same time,

666
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 1: one at a time. What do you want? One tug

667
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: at a time? No? Alright, Well, this year's convention was

668
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: a real bust, real bust. I had no fun. I

669
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 1: didn't learn any new gadgetry. Somebody we don't know got

670
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: the Cadillac. Yeah, but didn't you enjoy the day we

671
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: went on before the day started? Yeah, but then I

672
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: don't know, I just went south or date was ha

673
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: having a good time. I was gonna give you a

674
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: sloppy little hogs kiss on the lips. Damn, that sounds nice.

675
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like much of a spy anymore. Well,

676
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: you know what I do. Whenever I'm feeling like a

677
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: spy and I don't feel like a spy, I've got

678
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: to do the most spy thing I can think of.

679
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: I like that, So maybe like get in disguise or

680
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: use a gun or something. Yeah, yeah, so you didn't.

681
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: You didn't think I mentioned was that bad this year.

682
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 1: I thought it was totally awful. Yeah, I thought it sucked.

683
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: But it's not. It's not getting you do. Yeah, it's

684
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: it's fun. I'm sorry, we're cleaning up here. You all

685
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 1: gotta go. I feel better already, And that's our last

686
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: scene comes from Zach who ache. That's proudly IP supporter here.

687
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: He o recently took my suggestion for a scene with

688
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: the man whose life is falling apart. I laughed my

689
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 1: ass off at his wife calling from Morocco asking for

690
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: his apple pin. I especially enjoyed hearing the alchemists holding

691
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: back uncomfortably uh their laughter at the recent events of

692
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: my life in parentheses dying dad, unfaithful wife, stuck overseas

693
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,959
Speaker 1: with twin boys, et cetera. Go ahead and laugh next time.

694
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: It's shitty, but it's also ridiculous and funny in a

695
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: dark way. My life has gotten much better recently, just kidding.

696
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: It's still crap, God, but no terrible things have happened

697
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 1: since I wrote last, so that actually feels like a win.

698
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 1: I have another scene suggestion. Anything you want, pal honestly,

699
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: people who really like their undesirable jobs for the worst reasons. Example,

700
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 1: a corrections officer who's into bondage. Oh, I see, or

701
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: a garbage man who eats inappropriate things. Interesting. Thank you,

702
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 1: alchemist for all that you do. I am looking forward

703
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: to trying to call in during the next hang session.

704
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: Until then, zach a still in England. Hello, this is

705
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: a T and T. We're just doing a just a

706
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,839
Speaker 1: call check in to see how you are. Um. Hey,

707
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,879
Speaker 1: I'm great, I'm loving okay, I men dial this number again.

708
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: There we go. Hello, it's a T and T, just

709
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: going to see how you're doing. Oh, how you just called? Yes?

710
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: I did? How are you great? Okay? Game? Bye? These buttons? So, Hi?

711
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 1: Say T and T? How are you? How are you doing?

712
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: What's going on? Hello? How this att? How are you

713
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: enjoying our service? Are you one of those guys that

714
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: came by by these buttons? Oh? Hey Phil? Yeah, hold on,

715
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm just in a Hello. Hello, Hi, how to a

716
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: T and T? How are you stop? Okay? Spuns muns

717
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: muns munsllo? Oh these buttons? Buddy buttons three seven nine?

718
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: Shut up? Shut up? Okay calling? Why did you keep

719
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: picking up. I don't know. I just felt like, I mean,

720
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 1: it was obvious on the third call what was happening.

721
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 1: I don't judge people like you do. I let it

722
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: go to voicemail every time. Hey, you got to get

723
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 1: off too. You let that guy whack off while calling you.

724
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: I bet he's not even from a T and T.

725
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: Whether he is or isn't, that isn't the point, man.

726
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 1: It's like, look, the world sucked right now. If somebody

727
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: wants to get off, let him get off. You're right anyway,

728
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: back to this deal, this proposal. All I'm saying is

729
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: a hundred thousand, you get ten percent equity, Okay, in perpetuity. Now,

730
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: those are the only words I know. I'm sorry I

731
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: want to be sat next to a different employee. Um,

732
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't want to talk to you. I'm

733
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: talking to our boss. You're not the one that I'm

734
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 1: having the issue with. Shut up, I'm sorry. I don't

735
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: want to sit next to fill any more because anywhere.

736
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? You're saying that as if there's not

737
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: an issue. He jerks off ten times a day. Well

738
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: that's way down from seventeen. Are you kidding? He does

739
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:01,879
Speaker 1: this next to me, I'm pregnant. Hello, that stuff could

740
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: get in there. What are you talking? You're not pregnant

741
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 1: to pregnant? Is it like a pregnant pause? Sort of pregnant.

742
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,320
Speaker 1: I am one year away from getting my big A,

743
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,399
Speaker 1: T and T pension, so that's why I'm not leaving. Okay,

744
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: So I would appreciate being set next to anyone else

745
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: in the company who's not going to jerk off next

746
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 1: to my pregnant Tom, who's not going to make a

747
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: conversation with me and I don't want to talk, who's

748
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: not going to talk about non A, T and T

749
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 1: related things. So you'd like to be moved, Yeah, that's

750
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yes, away from Phil. Yes, where would

751
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: you like to say? Anywhere that's not close to Yeah,

752
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: I need specifics. I don't know. Maybe in the other

753
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 1: corner by your office. Hey, Gretta, Hi, Yeah they did

754
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 1: Hell yeah your pregnant. Yeah, I'm nine months. In fact,

755
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 1: they said it's a medical anomaly that I haven't given

756
00:45:54,920 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 1: a birth yet. So yeah, yeah, I have one. Please

757
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: mostly relish, but both catchup. Yeah, thats there. Yeah, as

758
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: to have little hats or little shoes if it's an option, yes,

759
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 1: I do. So you guys, get the hot dog guy

760
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: down your your section where you used to be what

761
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:29,800
Speaker 1: we No, we don't, of course, I know most of

762
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: We're happy to have you here. Thanks. That's part of

763
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: a T and T is a little different. Yeah, I

764
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 1: can tell I didn't even know we had a hot

765
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,959
Speaker 1: dog guy. All I heard was just a concert. What's

766
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,879
Speaker 1: that mean? Um? That was stilled jerking his he's still

767
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: jerking off. Yeah, you know, it's not anything personal. I

768
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 1: know it's not. It's the numbers, and I'm glad that

769
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 1: you're enjoying your service. Have a great day. Eight Are

770
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 1: you jerking off? Stop it? What do you do all

771
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: this number? Hey, I'm in the middle of work. Are

772
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 1: you enjoying your service? You've reached the voicemail of Tony

773
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: and Carrater. They have a message after the beat. Okay

774
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: you are wait wait, hold on a sand wait, hey,

775
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: you race the voicemail. What what do you want? I

776
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe we can do this a team thing.

777
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Let's make some phone calls

778
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 1: together after work right now at once? I'm working, man,

779
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: all right, you're jerking at I love my job. Yeah,

780
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,359
Speaker 1: I can tell I love my job more than anything

781
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,359
Speaker 1: in the world. I haven't had this much fun at

782
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: work ever, and it's just watching. You're a new guy,

783
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: all right, Yeah, you're a new guy. Yeah. Let me

784
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 1: dieal some numbers. Kevin Steele is that your name? Let

785
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 1: me dial a number? Talk? Don't you talk about dial

786
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 1: Come on, let me see who this is? Hi? This

787
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,400
Speaker 1: is uh, this is Luke at the A T and

788
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: T come jerk at, jerk at jerk talking about touch yourself.

789
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 1: I just wanted to know how you've been liking you

790
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: touch yourself. Come just write about your name? Name is Kevin? Hey?

791
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: Stop it. Look I only picked up it because you

792
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: guys left me. Uh fifteen five second voice man, Okay,

793
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: I gotta go by. What's going on? You have ten

794
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: percent equity right for a hundred thousand dollars? Right? Will it?

795
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 1: Will it liquidate or depreciate? Well, I mean I can

796
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: liquidate it anyway you want. So if you want that

797
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 1: money to be hard currency, we can do that. Hey,

798
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,439
Speaker 1: I forgot my What the fuss going on here? Sorry?

799
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 1: Another dealmaker came in sea. What how am I doing?

800
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. You're my fucking step brother, you know

801
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: how I'm doing. Give me one second. Hello, Hi, Okay,

802
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: So about your phone? Yeah? What do you what? What

803
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 1: about it? Do you like it? Do you like the

804
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,839
Speaker 1: Can you take this outside? No? I can't you, saund

805
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant as fuck. I am okay, I'll put you

806
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 1: in a hole for one second. But what's going on here?

807
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: I mean, what's going on here? Hey? Also, is this

808
00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 1: deal better than my deal? Well? What kind of a

809
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: are we looking at? Come on, breaking, I'm thinking under

810
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: four breathable? So you know, do we got a deal?

811
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 1: We got a deal. We want to make it. I

812
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 1: want to clearly, I want to make a deal. There's

813
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:17,399
Speaker 1: something you don't understand. Seventeen years ago, his mother fell

814
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 1: in love with my father, who was a happily married man. Okay,

815
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: his mother then committed homicide, killed my mother, and now

816
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,879
Speaker 1: they got married and now related. It's a little thing.

817
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: So it sounds like I should buy from you. Yes,

818
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: I got the story, I got the killer instincts and me.

819
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 1: That's that's why I you know, I'm so sorry, but

820
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: you guys are talking really loud in front of our house,

821
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: and our family is still packing to move out. Okay,

822
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: it's pretty upsetting that you guys are so excited about

823
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 1: taking our home. What kind of sick monsters are you? Like?

824
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: I didn't realize I was buying a home. What did

825
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: you think you were buying? I wasn't sure. Just what

826
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 1: did you think? I wanted to make a deal? Mom,

827
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 1: who's at the front car. It's the people that are

828
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:05,799
Speaker 1: buying our home? What down off you guys? Fuck off? Yes?

829
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: So they'll be gone in a week, no matter what.

830
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 1: And it is ours alighting? Hi? You had me on

831
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: hold and I just wanted to call back. Oh yeah,

832
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: you know what. I have time now, you guys figure

833
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: this out? So what's up? Um? I was just wondering

834
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: what you think of a T and T S service.

835
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:23,880
Speaker 1: You're an a T and T customer, you've been with

836
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 1: us for over five years. I don't know. I felt

837
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 1: it's hard to tell, right, um No, I think just

838
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 1: usually if it sounds than this has the ants in

839
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: the hats and shoes. Okay, um, I'm so sorry. If

840
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: it sounds clear, yeah, if it sounds clear, if you're

841
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: not getting calls dropped, I'm sorry. Can you get a

842
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: fresher bun? Can you get a fresher bun? This is

843
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 1: all you have green. Yeah, it's mold. So it's mold.

844
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 1: You see the mold then as well? Okay, well, can

845
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: I just have another hot dog? Just no bun. You

846
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 1: just want loose meat, Just slap it onto my desk

847
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: whenever you're ready, and I'll have the same topics. Sorry,

848
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,399
Speaker 1: So basically, you know, if it's like, if you can

849
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 1: hear clearly, if you don't get dropped calls, Yeah, I

850
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: guess it's I guess it's pretty good. Okay, great, that's

851
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 1: kind of all. Hold on, hold on, I'm getting a call. Hello,

852
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 1: this is a d and TAM's curious. How you doing? Hi?

853
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 1: This is crazy? Sorry, I'm good. How are you? Can

854
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: you just stay on hold for this? Okay? Thank you? Yeah, Hi, Hi,

855
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 1: I'm here. Are you happy with you? I guess what

856
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: do you mean by that? Happy with my service? Do

857
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: you spend most days smiling? Yeah? You know what I do.

858
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 1: I've never thought about that that I do. Yes, well,

859
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:46,919
Speaker 1: I would like to take some of the credit for that. Yeah,

860
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: do you need a PUPUSA? Yes? Okay, thank you. Yeah,

861
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,800
Speaker 1: I'll have the regular Salsa slaw regular. However, you know

862
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 1: you're still there? Yeah, I keep holding and where's the

863
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: hot dog. What there's something wrong with the baby? What

864
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,399
Speaker 1: do you mean? But it's been in there for ten months,

865
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:18,839
Speaker 1: so tell me it's like a porn thing or something.

866
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: It turns out, it turns out it's not actually a baby.

867
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Drink here, Hold on a second, hold on,

868
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 1: let me do that. I think that's important, just to

869
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 1: get to the chase because she feels like she's losing it.

870
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 1: You want to get to the chase there. What are

871
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 1: you talking coming from? Well, we happen to have an

872
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 1: extra baby. We can put inside your stomach. Then you

873
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: can birth that if you'd like. But what's inside hot dogs?

874
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 1: You got a whole bunch of hot dog eating there. Okay,

875
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: you're still impossible. That's impossible because I've been getting hot

876
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 1: dogs at work and whenever I eat, when I shoved

877
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: up my vagina. So you're telling me that instead of

878
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: being pregnant with the baby, I hot dogs hot dogs

879
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: that are fermenting inside your tune come and it's just

880
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: stand in your stomach. Okay, that's gas all right? But

881
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: and what's that in your hands? This is a baby

882
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 1: for you. Since you're not going to have a traditional baby,

883
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 1: you can have this one it's from Amowski Park. So

884
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 1: it's a little dino, little dino baby, it's little hey

885
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: Grant Hunt. Wow, what do you oh? That's is that?

886
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: My boy? I know you and I don't want it.

887
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 1: You want to raise it by yourself. But so this

888
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: is really complicated. So what I thought was a pregnancy

889
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 1: was actually me just storing process meat in my womb.

890
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait, it probably happens. You ruined my marriage,

891
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 1: our affair ruined my marriage. You said you were pregnant

892
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 1: with my baby. I thought I was. And who's this?

893
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: What's this talking to me? It's a dino baby. His

894
00:53:52,600 --> 00:54:02,360
Speaker 1: name is don't don't it's Frank, it's your name. You

895
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 1: want to hold him? You see the little guy he bites,

896
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: so be careful, but he usually misses. Gosh, you know,

897
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: it's funny. It just seems like yesterday you're pounding me hard. Yeah,

898
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 1: it seems like yesterday I was willing to just flush

899
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: my marriage down the toilet for you. Just pound you hard,

900
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: just take you down to poundtown. And then that pregnancy

901
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: scare ruined my marriage ten months. Yeah, and then now

902
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: you got this little guy. Are you happy with your service?

903
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 1: Like the service I give you as somebody who had

904
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,319
Speaker 1: an affair with you ten months ago. Would you say

905
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 1: you're disappointed? Um, I think yeah, I'm pretty happy. I

906
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 1: think it's good. I think like if you could take

907
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 1: like the kind of emotional drama out of it a

908
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:55,839
Speaker 1: little bit, it would be better. Okay, Well the wife's gone. Yeah,

909
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: well I have a mom. Now I have to raise

910
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,959
Speaker 1: the dino babies. That's right, that's right. Well I'm gonna

911
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: give this back to you. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, hey,

912
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 1: you keep it real, man, give him a little high fight.

913
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 1: It's cute. Yeah, he's cute. What are you doing? You

914
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: can't come back in the uber? You gotta huh? You

915
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 1: were still waiting outside? That just on my phone. You

916
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:20,239
Speaker 1: can't just come back. Okay, Well I left and you

917
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: said I'm gonna stand here for like fifteen so I

918
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: assume what if I do my business? You can't just

919
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: come in. I'll call another uber. What has your license

920
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: plate on here? Because that's that's my receipt, it's my

921
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 1: stars you're giving me. How did you like the service?

922
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 1: Forget about or? I love this podcast? A lot of

923
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: dead air and what's going on? Man? Yeah? Forgot about it?

924
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,239
Speaker 1: You might just stepping away from the car. I just

925
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,880
Speaker 1: I just called a new thing, has your car on it? Okay,

926
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: I have to accept that it doesn't just happen, all right?

927
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: Can you except that there's no other cars around here?

928
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 1: I don't care a lady, alright, I don't care. I

929
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: do tip. Yeah, and it wasn't enough, all right. It

930
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 1: was a five dollar ride. I know what I wanted

931
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 1: a little more. You're kid pissing ship all over in

932
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 1: the back. So you know what's it's gonna cost me?

933
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 1: I don't know more than that, a little more than

934
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 1: that dollars. Just it was a little dry turn. Yeah,

935
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:31,240
Speaker 1: we's gonna tank grand Where are you getting your car service?

936
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, come on, break me a deal here,

937
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, parts labor, come on please, man,

938
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 1: I gotta get back on the road. I mean we're

939
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 1: looking at minimum ten. It's air in the tire, man,

940
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: it's air in the tire. I'm sorry, man, you know,

941
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: I mean we're friends. We're friends. You know. I'm trying

942
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 1: to cut you a deal here. Yeah, well it's not

943
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 1: really a deal of everything is the same goddamn price. Alright, Tommy,

944
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 1: I appreciate everything you're doing on the law. But I

945
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: just need you to up the prices a little bit

946
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 1: when people come in for service. Okay, yeah, so normally

947
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: it's a regimented by the government. Quite frankly, we could

948
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 1: take the walking orders from them, and you know it's

949
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 1: based on a percentage of time, labor and parts. We

950
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 1: want to even ten grand, no matter what the issue is,

951
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 1: I want to put you out on the floor. So

952
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 1: are you're comfortable with that? Absolutely? You're Hey, listen, uh,

953
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 1: I know he asked you to ask for everything for

954
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 1: ten grand. Right, let's make that price up again. I'm

955
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: his stepson. I'm here's a lot of turnover at this place.

956
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: I understood. Now, I'm his stepson. That's his deal. He

957
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: gets my drift, he gets off to that figure. It

958
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 1: doesn't do anything for me. How many times is it

959
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: did he say in his office? He said it a

960
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: lot of times. That's what I'm saying. So do what

961
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 1: you want on the floor. But I'm not doing You know,

962
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: that guy's getting his fucking rocks all. Okay, now it's

963
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: it's now thinking through it. It seemed odd. It seemed

964
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: like an inflated figures. How can I get some help, Hey,

965
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: that's on you later. But hi, Hi, how are you? Yeah? Hi? Um?

966
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: I just I need like my car was totaled, Just

967
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: need like a quick like rebuild. Okay, Well, if it's total,

968
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 1: then the insurance company is gonna yeah, but I just

969
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 1: want to do it now, so I didn't want to

970
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 1: involve them, so like, how did you even drive this?

971
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 1: And then this looks terrible? Yeah, it's if it's got

972
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 1: two wheels in a motor So how how much it's

973
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: gonna be? Dollars? Seriously? Fine? Fine, okay you want to

974
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: you want to go ahead and do it all right.

975
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 1: I just want to thank you for getting the ten

976
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: thousand out of that broad That was really nice because

977
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: you know, I actually get ten thousand and you came

978
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 1: back with ten thousands. Then I looked at him, Can

979
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:57,400
Speaker 1: you put it away? Which one? Just put it away?

980
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: All right? Snake? Yeah, get the snake away out from

981
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 1: What about the puppy? I'm fine with the puppy, okay, cool?

982
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: And the cock is what I was really yeah, let

983
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: me just tuck that away. Hey, Greta, welcome back to

984
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 1: work after your maternity to leave. Got good news and

985
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 1: bad news for you. The good news is you still

986
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: have your job. That's great. I think it'd be legal. Yeah,

987
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: we're putting you back at your old desk. How are

988
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: you serious? Yeah? Sol got fired the guy. Oh my god,

989
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 1: thank god. And you still have all your little hot dogs? Cool? Okay,

990
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: thanks and the hats for the hot dog. Should I

991
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: gotta go? Hold up? This is nice. Thank you. Yeah,

992
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:50,439
Speaker 1: we heard about your pregnancies situation. Congratulations, thank you. Yeah,

993
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 1: that's cool. I'm really happy. That's cool. That's really cool. Um,

994
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,480
Speaker 1: you know a T and he doesn't offer healthcare to

995
00:59:56,560 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 1: non human births. That has been made explicitly clear me.

996
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 1: Because we're not a fucking freak. Shout what everybody says.

997
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 1: Have a bunch of little fucking freaks on around. I

998
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 1: mean human, only human. I'm not a humanist, you know

999
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 1: what I mean. So it don't make that face at me.

1000
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, fucking dinos around here. Okay, it seems

1001
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: like you are, well, it just seems like you follow

1002
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: the fucking Kamowski fucking Park method. Dude. No, this is

1003
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 1: actually a doctor. My O B G y N's partner

1004
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: just handed this to me. And the where did that

1005
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 1: thing come from? Probably Kamowski park I don't know where

1006
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 1: it can question. I didn't ask questions. Can I get

1007
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 1: back to work? No? You can't, actually, because the bad

1008
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 1: news is I'm firing myself. I quit, so it sounds

1009
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 1: like I can still get back to work. Have you

1010
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,959
Speaker 1: been happy with your job here? Have you been happy

1011
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 1: with No? Not since you left. What I gotta call

1012
01:00:51,480 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 1: and hey keep that fucking dinosaur today? Oh baby? Uh?

1013
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 1: That one? It will be called? Are you happy with

1014
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 1: your service? Looking far out? Joey Greer, Thank you so

1015
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: much for mostly being here. I really appreciated. Jeffy Greeber

1016
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 1: at Jeffy Greeber. Okay, excited about that, And check out

1017
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 1: the album folks, if you haven't yet, it's called See

1018
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 1: You Later, good Night. In the morning, it's called good

1019
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: Night Good Amazon, Spotify all of them. James Heeney. That's

1020
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: me second and fourth Wednesdays. It's a pair supply first

1021
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 1: Sunday's It's Alchemy. This live at the West Side Comedy Theater.

1022
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: But if you just want to see my contact, go

1023
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 1: to the real James ni dot com. Thank you so much.

1024
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: Great Kikowski at Kikowski on Twitter, see Kikowski on Instagram.

1025
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: Tag me in your fan art. People keep saying they

1026
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 1: can't find me on Instagram when I've said that handle

1027
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 1: several times. Sweet, thank you so much for that. Caroline

1028
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: Cotter U Instagram at cotter Poop. My Twitter has been

1029
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 1: taken over by a bot and I don't play in

1030
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: on changing Sweet Sweet Russian Box. Chris Offer at Chris

1031
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 1: Brod on Instagram. I realize I don't really post pictures anymore,

1032
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 1: just use a story function as my own personal commercials. Yeah. Nice, Yeah.

1033
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 1: I am at Kevin Pollock one to three, the lamest

1034
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,959
Speaker 1: handle in the history of and we missed Doug Bam.

1035
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 1: Also Chris, our engineer for today. Right to us your

1036
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: name here tlcome to this dot com Until next time.

1037
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:02,520
Speaker 1: Up to the b