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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for not accepting my sister's

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Speaker 1: relationship with my ax despite her having cancer as a teenager.

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Speaker 1: This is Okop, home to the craziest true stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia and Riley. Under what circumstances would you be

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Speaker 1: okay with your brother having a relationship with your ex if.

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Speaker 2: He's like gonna die tomorrow? Like, all right, yeah, one day, pal,

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Speaker 2: you could spend it with her, and then I'd be like,

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Speaker 2: you'd rather spend it with her than me and me?

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Speaker 2: And then you would still be mad. Yeah, Well, there's

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Speaker 2: no winning lost.

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Speaker 1: Papaya nine, two seventy eight, says my twenty five female

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Speaker 1: father married my stepsister's twenty three female mother when I

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Speaker 1: was four and she was three. So we have father

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Speaker 1: and mother and their stepsisters. Sorry, I just needed to

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Speaker 1: say that again. We've lived together most of our lives

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Speaker 1: and are a family. She and I were extremely close.

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Speaker 2: Hi, so basically sisters. Yes.

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Speaker 1: She developed cancer when she was fourteen and was sick

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Speaker 1: for about two years. She said's made a full recovery.

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Speaker 1: During that time. My parents became understandably overprotective. They also

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Speaker 1: asked a lot of me. I quit my extracurriculars so

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Speaker 1: I could get a job. The money went towards her

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Speaker 1: medical bills, and so I could drive her two appointments.

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Speaker 1: I didn't go to dances, and any fun activities I

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Speaker 1: did needed to include her. I did almost all of

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Speaker 1: this willingly, the exception being having to quit my high

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Speaker 1: school volleyball team. I did throw a bit of a

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Speaker 1: tantrum about that, but was swiftly punished, and I think

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Speaker 1: having one emotional breakdown was pretty chill given the circumstances. Anyhow,

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Speaker 1: I go to college and meet my ex we'll call

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Speaker 1: him Ben when I'm a junior. We fall in love,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. He and I move in together when

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Speaker 1: we graduate, so we've been living together for about three years.

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Speaker 1: We were serious until July when I walked into my

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Speaker 1: bedroom and saw him effing my sister. WHOA, Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: not like a circumstance that you can be okay with.

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Speaker 2: Yikes.

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Speaker 1: I broke it off, tears were shed, he moved out, etc.

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Speaker 1: My sister apologized at first, but then backed off. I

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Speaker 1: thought she was giving me space, but last week she

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Speaker 1: called and asked if we could meet up. She told

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Speaker 1: me that she and Ben were in love and were

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Speaker 1: just telling me as a courtesy before they started posting

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Speaker 1: photos online. Oh not, a sister distraught, I left her

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Speaker 1: in the restaurant by herself and did not pay my

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Speaker 1: portion of the bill. She later Ben mowed me asking

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Speaker 1: for the money. You're taking your money and her man.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: She told my parents, who then called me to their house,

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Speaker 1: telling me how disappointed in me they are for not

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Speaker 1: supporting my sister's relationship with Ben.

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Speaker 2: What about her do the parents know? I don't think

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Speaker 2: they know. They know?

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Speaker 1: Okay, if she's dating Bed for three years and that

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Speaker 1: he suddenly starts dating the sister three years with the

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Speaker 1: pieces together. They brought up the fact that because she

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Speaker 1: had cancer as a teenager, she never learned proper social

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Speaker 1: etiquette and as a hard time meeting people.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: I don't buy this, in part because I've seen her

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Speaker 1: socialized just fine, and since we spent a good chunk

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Speaker 1: of the time she was sick together, that would also

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Speaker 1: mean that I should bad social skills as well. By

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Speaker 1: that logic. They then told me that if I don't

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Speaker 1: accept my sister in Ben's relationship, they may have to

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Speaker 1: go no contact with me. I've reminded them that I'm

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Speaker 1: also their daughter and they should understand my point of view,

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Speaker 1: but they are adamant that this is about me being

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Speaker 1: jealous of her.

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Speaker 2: Whoa okay, okay, got it.

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Speaker 1: That is insane.

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Speaker 2: This is insanity. Why are the parents taking her side?

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Speaker 1: I feel like they've become super overprotective of her, Okay,

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Speaker 1: after you know, they had this whole ordeal and they

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Speaker 1: let her get away with everything now. But also like

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Speaker 1: they just seem like really bad parents because even like

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Speaker 1: I know, it's really hard when like you're one of

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Speaker 1: your childs like sick and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well you can't.

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Speaker 1: You can't sacrifice your other child.

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Speaker 2: Oh, your morals just goes one. Sick doesn't mean like

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Speaker 2: you their morals should be gone. Yeah. Well no, Like.

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Speaker 1: Even when she was sick, like it seems like they

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Speaker 1: totally like they were like to Opie, They're like, you

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Speaker 1: have to quit everything. Yeah, like making her quit volleyball,

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Speaker 1: like varsity volleyball.

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Speaker 2: That's so sad, that's so sad core memories.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, this is really sad. And then after the fact,

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Speaker 1: even when she's better, they're like, she's allowed to cheat

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Speaker 1: because she had cancer.

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Speaker 2: Why why has Ben like this? Why is he all

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Speaker 2: that sucks? Ben does suck? I hate this three years?

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Speaker 1: Three years, and then and then she catches she catches

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Speaker 1: them cheating, and then her family, her whole family, is like,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go no contact with you unless you're okay

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Speaker 1: with this.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, I'm just imagining if my brother were to

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Speaker 2: do this to me, I.

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Speaker 1: Literally would like, oh my never forget uh No, that's.

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Speaker 2: Horrible, I keep going, pa God.

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Speaker 1: For the record, I'm not jealous of her. I'm not

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Speaker 1: upset that Ben picked her over me. I'm sad about

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Speaker 1: the end of the relationship and do feel betrayed, but

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Speaker 1: Lord knows that I don't want to be with a cheater.

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Speaker 1: What I'm upset about is the fact that my sister

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Speaker 1: chose Ben over me, that she slept with Ben knowing

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Speaker 1: he and I were in a long term, committed relationship,

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Speaker 1: and continues to be with him, knowing how much it

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Speaker 1: hurts me. Now, no one in my immediate family is

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Speaker 1: talking to me, and I'm getting messages from my aunts

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Speaker 1: and uncles and cousins telling me that I'm an a

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Speaker 1: hole and a selfish whoa Your family sucks? Your family's horrible.

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Speaker 1: What's wild? Aunts and uncles, that's wild. No one is

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Speaker 1: taking your side. Everyone's against you.

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Speaker 2: They don't They must not see the full picture. Ain't

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Speaker 2: no way even if.

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Speaker 1: They didn't, like, you know, even if they weren't told

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Speaker 1: specifically that you know, the sister and Ben cheated just

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Speaker 1: to look at the relationship, to be like Ben and

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Speaker 1: Opie were together for three years, which presumably they would know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then within a week Ben was dating Opie's sister

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Speaker 1: and to be like, wow, Opie, you're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: have any feelings about this.

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Speaker 2: If they if they were twins, I'd be like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: maybe he got mixed up, funny joke, Ben. But they're men,

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Speaker 2: no their stepsisters. That would be crazy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like twins are usually pretty easy. There's always

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Speaker 1: some way you can tell them a part, and if

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Speaker 1: you're with someone.

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Speaker 2: For three years you can't.

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Speaker 1: But they're not doing so. Moot point anyway, there's an edit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I hope this doesn't get worse. Thank you everyone so

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Speaker 1: much for your comments. This has gotten more attention than

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Speaker 1: I expected, and I am having trouble keeping up. So

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Speaker 1: if I don't say thank you, then thank you. I've

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Speaker 1: been given a lot of food for thought, tbh. While

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Speaker 1: I had moments where I've been resentful or upset about

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Speaker 1: my teenage years, I've always thought that I did the

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Speaker 1: right thing for my sister and for my family, and

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Speaker 1: that time wasn't all miserable. I was very close to

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Speaker 1: my sister, and we made things as fun as we could.

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Speaker 1: But I didn't think of it as an abdication of

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Speaker 1: my parents' responsibilities or that they were doing wrong by me,

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Speaker 1: which many of you pointed out. I definitely have a

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Speaker 1: lot to think about. Thank you again for making me

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Speaker 1: feel less crazy about all this.

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Speaker 2: So she just thought that was her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she was like, I'm a sister, That's what I

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Speaker 1: have to do. She really, you know, she stepped up,

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Speaker 1: and she apparently barely complained. But that is not like

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Speaker 1: a child's responsibility. Like that is that is one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent pair's responsibility.

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Speaker 2: That's so sadd Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, this is very sad. But there is an update.

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Speaker 1: There's another update. Oh okay, okay, so before we really

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Speaker 1: dive into our thoughts of everything gets better, update, sometimes

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Speaker 1: you can only laugh. Just got off the phone with

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Speaker 1: my cousin who saw this post and said he could

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Speaker 1: explain a few things. I asked him why he was

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Speaker 1: on Reddit instead of school. He asked me why I

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Speaker 1: was on Reddit instead of work, and I said touche.

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Speaker 1: He told me that after my conversation with my mom,

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Speaker 1: she went to his house and talked to my aunt.

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Speaker 1: And here's the deal. Oh, turns out my sister is

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Speaker 1: not only in a relationship with Ben, but four months pregnant,

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Speaker 1: which means she and Ben were affing for longer than

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Speaker 1: I ever guessed.

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Speaker 2: Who. Well, I think they've been together for like six months.

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Speaker 2: They got like have to be.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, because four months pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they've got they've gotten him four months. Been's a

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Speaker 2: shooter than four miles, but like.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be at the least six months. So birt

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Speaker 1: into the two and a half year mark of their relationship.

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Speaker 1: Maybe two to two and a half year of their relationship.

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Speaker 1: That's when you start cheating. Oh heye, you Ben. Apparently

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Speaker 1: my parents are so adamant that I forgive her because

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Speaker 1: I'm already ruining their experience of their first grandchild. That's right,

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Speaker 1: I'm less important than my stepmom posting ultrasounds to Facebook.

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Speaker 1: This is where we're at. Oh, my this sounds like

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Speaker 1: an evil stepmom story.

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Speaker 2: Honestly.

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Speaker 1: Anyhow, I call out a work sick the rest of

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Speaker 1: the day and I'm going to drink a lot of alcohol,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of alcohol, and then start thinking about

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Speaker 1: what the f I'm going to do. And there is

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Speaker 1: another update.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, that is horrifying. But wait, wait, wait the cousin.

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Speaker 1: So one of the cousins saw Op's Reddit post and

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, I got more a dish.

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Speaker 2: But this does not give even more. This is worse.

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Speaker 1: This is worse. That makes the whole thing so much worse.

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Speaker 1: And the fact that there the family is like just

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Speaker 1: letting Opie's sister get away with it is wild dang.

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Speaker 2: And then Ben be doing that with no rubber. That's wild.

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Speaker 2: Ben's wild, dude. Ben's crazy. Ben's cheating, which also is

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Speaker 2: so it's just like just cheating.

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Speaker 1: Is obviously horrible. Yeah, but just like having unprotected sex

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Speaker 1: while also cheating wild wild, Like you're like, just break

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Speaker 1: up with your partner, don't expose them to like STDs Jesus.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, she already got cancer.

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Speaker 1: Like come like you are like one sistaria cancer. Don't

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Speaker 1: give the other sister an SD Come on, come on,

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Speaker 1: But there is an update, probably about how horrible Ben is.

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Speaker 1: Opie clarifies two things before the update. One, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a shitty childhood. The favoritism started when my sister

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Speaker 1: was diagnosed. I moved out soon after and have been

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Speaker 1: pretty independent since then. Not saying that how my parents

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Speaker 1: treated me during those years was a okay, But I

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Speaker 1: wasn't Cinderella. And Two, I didn't drink myself until oblivion.

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Speaker 1: I had two white wine spritzers. But I appreciate the

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Speaker 1: concern from folks.

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Speaker 2: Nice Okay, So, but there's an update, favor That's good

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Speaker 2: to know about the favoritism, because I thought it was

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Speaker 2: like her whole childhood.

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Speaker 1: No, it's just when she when her sister was diagnosed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I want to say, like maybe like sixteen seventeen,

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Speaker 2: because it looks like she moved out right after when

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Speaker 2: she was diagnosed. Yeah, because it's like I moved out

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Speaker 2: after and had been pretty independent.

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Speaker 1: So like, so she developed cancer when she was fourteen,

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Speaker 1: and OPI is two years older, so she was sixteenth.

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Speaker 2: Time called it?

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Speaker 1: Nice, John, All right, let's get into the update. I

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Speaker 1: got in touch with my sister and asked her to

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Speaker 1: meet up again at a park. No Bill involved. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I thought his name was Ben.

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Speaker 2: No no, no Bill because they were at a restaurant.

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Speaker 2: Shouldn't pay She's been motor Co prestitor, Yeah, requested.

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Speaker 1: I asked her if she was pregnant, and she told

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Speaker 1: me the truth. She said she wanted us to still

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Speaker 1: be in each other's lives and that she wanted me

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Speaker 1: to be in her babies. A redditor and I forget who,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry mentioned that she may ask me to be

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Speaker 1: the godmother, and that person was correct, the audacity.

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Speaker 2: You should put money on that.

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Speaker 1: But as many of you pointed out, if I didn't

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Speaker 1: cut her off, I'd just become her bank and daycare employee.

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Speaker 1: So I told her I could no longer be in

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Speaker 1: her life, and I left her crying on a park

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Speaker 1: bench and felt like the shittiest person in the world.

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Speaker 1: You kind of have to though, No, like, that's not

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Speaker 1: your fault at all.

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Speaker 2: It's not your fault. She was horrible to you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: horrible because you will become her bank in daycare. Yes, ah,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, this mark.

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Speaker 1: I emailed my parents and told them how betrayed I

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Speaker 1: felt that I'd be cutting off contact with them. To

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Speaker 1: my stepmom's credit, she apologized too little, too late. She

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Speaker 1: explained that she never thought my sister would live to

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Speaker 1: have kids and that she let her emotion over that

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Speaker 1: get the better of her. Understandable. My dad said nothing,

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Speaker 1: which is honestly what sucked the worst about all of this.

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Speaker 1: Ben tried messaging me from a burner account for the

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Speaker 1: first time since the breakup, but I blocked him without

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Speaker 1: reading it. I didn't go nuclear and post the story

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Speaker 1: to Facebook, as some suggested, but I sent an email

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Speaker 1: to the extended family members who I care about. I

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Speaker 1: explain the situation and how I'd be distancing myself from

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Speaker 1: my family. Some have made it on us versus them situation,

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Speaker 1: and as much as I appreciate the support, feeling like

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Speaker 1: I'm in some valiant battle just makes me more tired.

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Speaker 1: So I haven't been talking too much to anyone in

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Speaker 1: my family. I feel lonely and crappy, but I think

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Speaker 1: I made the right decision anyhow. Not the most exciting

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Speaker 1: update in the world, but hopefully everyone knows that I'm

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Speaker 1: not dead. I do really appreciate the support I've gotten

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Speaker 1: and made me smile during a really shitty time, and Hey,

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Speaker 1: if anyone in the Greater Boston area wants an extra

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Speaker 1: guest a Thanksgiving, let me.

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Speaker 2: Know in Boston embossed.

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Speaker 1: I love Boston. It's a separate thing that Wow, Opy

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Speaker 1: seems like so nice and I feel so bad for

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Speaker 1: them because they're like, I feel horrible about treating my

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Speaker 1: when like her sisters showed that she did not give

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Speaker 1: a hoot an f and a flying hoot about OPI,

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Speaker 1: which is wild, but.

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Speaker 2: Like everyone in her family, like sister, the mom, and

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Speaker 2: the dad, the dad, the fact that the dad said nothing, the.

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Speaker 1: Dad said nothing, yeah, and like doesn't stick up for

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Speaker 1: you at all. Come on, it's so long. No, it's like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. But like, honestly, even even just the stepmom,

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Speaker 1: the step mom has been in her life since she

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Speaker 1: was like four years old, and to just completely be

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Speaker 1: like we're going no contact, just to have that as

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Speaker 1: a threat as an option, Come on, come on, there's one.

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Speaker 1: I think one more. Maybe there's more updates. There is two,

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Speaker 1: there's two more updates, so three?

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Speaker 2: Three more updates? What okay, we're.

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Speaker 1: Getting through this.

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Speaker 2: Number one.

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Speaker 1: I'm spending Thanksgiving with a friend and her family so

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Speaker 1: I won't be alone thanks to everyone who offered to

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Speaker 1: host me. It was so sweet. Aw, that's good. Number two.

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Speaker 1: I'm still not in touch with my family, but I

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Speaker 1: know that Ben and my sister are having problems. I

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Speaker 1: know this because he showed up at my place and

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Speaker 1: cried for three hours.

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Speaker 2: Oh you suck, Ben.

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Speaker 1: Number three, I'm going to go to New Mexico in April.

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Speaker 1: Planning is underway. Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate, and

302
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Speaker 1: there is a longer update. But Ben is the worst.

303
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Speaker 1: I was wondering if he would like come crawling back

304
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Speaker 1: to her, Yeah, because he like, I feel like, if

305
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Speaker 1: a cheat, you're going to keep cheating.

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Speaker 2: So like, wait, he went back and cried for three hours,

307
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Speaker 2: went back.

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Speaker 1: To Ope and cried to her about his problems with

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Speaker 1: her sister, that he cheated on her with.

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Speaker 2: Why would she sit there and listen to that. I

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Speaker 2: don't I don't know, or did they I thought it

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Speaker 2: was like they lived together. No, she heard him in

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Speaker 2: the other room crying for three hours. I think she

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Speaker 2: just like showed up at her door crying. Wild the audacity,

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Speaker 2: This is just a story about audacity. Okay, So the

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Speaker 2: update continues. Ben and the Steps are now expecting a

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Speaker 2: baby within the next six weeks. Since I found out

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Speaker 2: about the pregnancy, He's tried to get in touch with

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Speaker 2: me six times through email, text burner accounts, has tried

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Speaker 2: to get mutual friends to talk to me for him,

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Speaker 2: and showed up to my place once. The latter was

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Speaker 2: the only time I humored him. He told me he

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Speaker 2: was sorry, he loves me, he doesn't want to be

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Speaker 2: with my stepsister and wants to get back together with me.

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Speaker 2: I told him, tough titties. Oh hell yeah, he made.

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Speaker 1: His bed and now he's got to lay in it

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Speaker 1: with her. I feel like, yeah, really quick. I feel

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Speaker 1: like he got the stepsister pregnant and now he's like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm already been the father. I gotta

330
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Speaker 1: go back to this other relationship. That's why I'm interpretation.

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Speaker 1: I haven't dated much since July because of my life's implosion,

332
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Speaker 1: But in November, a friend of from college messaged me

333
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Speaker 1: out of the blue. We hadn't talked in a long time.

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Speaker 1: He twenty seven male referred to as X two for

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Speaker 1: the rest of the post, and X one were good

336
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Speaker 1: friends but had a falling out over something fantasy football

337
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Speaker 1: related the year after we graduated, and I stopped talking

338
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Speaker 1: to him out of solidity or whatever. Anyhow, we go

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00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Speaker 1: on a date, we click, We go on a few

340
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Speaker 1: more dates. We'd become exclusive in early December. I was

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00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 1: feeling really hopeful about this until this morning. I was

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00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 1: supposed to meet X two at a New Year's party

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Speaker 1: last night. He got there before I left the house

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Speaker 1: and texted me saying that X one was at the

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Speaker 1: party and asked whether I still wanted to come. I

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Speaker 1: declined and went to another friend's house and had a

347
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,320
Speaker 1: pretty good time. I tried calling X two at midnight,

348
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Speaker 1: but he didn't pick up. I didn't think much about

349
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,000
Speaker 1: it Anyhow. I go to bed late, and when I

350
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,600
Speaker 1: wake up this morning, I have a message from X

351
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 1: two saying we're done.

352
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 2: Ooh.

353
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't even respond because he'd blocked me everywhere. I

354
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 1: talked to a friend who was at the party the

355
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Speaker 1: exes broad last night, and he said the two of

356
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 1: them had spent a good chunk of time chatting with

357
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,400
Speaker 1: each other, but he didn't know what they were talking about.

358
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Speaker 1: I'm not close with anyone else who was at the party,

359
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: so I don't really have anyone else to ask, Like, okay,

360
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 1: it was a two month old relationship. I'm sad, but

361
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm not bereft. But the paranoid part of my mind

362
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 1: is really concerned that X one said something that resulted

363
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Speaker 1: in X two becoming X two. X two has made

364
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 1: it abundantly apparent that he doesn't want to talk to

365
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,320
Speaker 1: me again, and I don't want to push that boundary.

366
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 1: But I'm so confused. I could contact X one, but

367
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 1: I get the feeling that will open a floodgate of drama.

368
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,680
Speaker 1: I could also try talking to other mutual friends to

369
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 1: see if they've heard about anything, but I also don't

370
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,679
Speaker 1: really want to spread this as a rumor if it

371
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: wasn't true.

372
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:25,239
Speaker 2: I don't know.

373
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Speaker 1: I'm at a loss any advice here. I'm spiraling thinking

374
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Speaker 1: that my ex is going to try to ruin every

375
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Speaker 1: relationship I have for the rest of my life.

376
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 2: Okay, oh my god, what do you think he said?

377
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: I think he was, like, she was so jealous when

378
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 1: like I broke up with her, and she was crazy

379
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 1: and she like ruined her relationship with like her family.

380
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 1: I think he said like something along those lines, but like,

381
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,639
Speaker 1: oh my god, she can't catch a break.

382
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I surely can't.

383
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 1: The fact that this story is going in a new

384
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 1: like there's more like a completely different part of the story,

385
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 1: Like this is book two started books one, and now

386
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 1: we're onto.

387
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,439
Speaker 2: The sequel, the sequel. I thought that X two was

388
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,199
Speaker 2: with her sister No no NOx a party. That's what

389
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,920
Speaker 2: I was like hoping what was gonna happen.

390
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 1: I feel like he I feel like he heard something,

391
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 1: like X one told him something.

392
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 2: But like what could he have said.

393
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know.

394
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 2: Why would X two like not even talk just blocker

395
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 2: like that, Like that's crazy. They were good friends in

396
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 2: the past.

397
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 1: But also it's kind of wild to if he if

398
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 1: X one did tell X two something and X two

399
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,639
Speaker 1: believed it, it's kind of wild to believe it after,

400
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 1: you know, breaking up a friendship over fantasy football. Yeah,

401
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,159
Speaker 1: you know, like they don't have a good relationship with

402
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 1: thought like sent them over the edge.

403
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 2: And then also another thing their relationship that X two

404
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 2: went to a different party than op.

405
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,399
Speaker 1: That's also weird. I was thinking that, like he was

406
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 1: she was like, hey, like I'm not really comfortable going

407
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,399
Speaker 1: to that party, and he wasn't, like let's go to

408
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,000
Speaker 1: another one. Let's do something together.

409
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me follow you to the other party.

410
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, obviously get permission from the like. Maybe the

411
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: friend didn't say, you know and buye other people, but

412
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 1: they could have worked someone out. There is another update.

413
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 1: This story keeps going. My last two partners have cheated

414
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: on me. Wait what is this just summarizing what the

415
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 1: first was a very serious relationship. We lived together, we

416
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 1: talked to a marriage and buying a house. He even

417
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,880
Speaker 1: took two pictures of us as kids and photoshopped them

418
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: together to show what our kids might look like one day.

419
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 1: The result was terrifying but hilarious. I had it as

420
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 1: the background on my phone for a month. I thought

421
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: he was gonna say he even took two pictures of me.

422
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 1: And then a few months ago, another guy came into

423
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 1: my life, and for the first time in ages, I

424
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,440
Speaker 1: felt hopeful. I thought to myself that maybe I could

425
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 1: actually move on and live my life. I wasn't in

426
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: love with him, but he was the kind of man

427
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 1: I thought I could fall in love with. We were

428
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 1: exclusive for about a month before we made the decision

429
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: to be exclusive. I told him everything that had happened

430
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: with my first txt and told him that I could

431
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 1: never be with another cheater. I wake up on new

432
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: Year's Day to a text saying we're done. And when

433
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,679
Speaker 1: I tried getting in touch, I found out he blocked

434
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 1: me everywhere.

435
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 2: Okay, real quick? Yes, Op, did tell the guy she

436
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,120
Speaker 2: was with X to everything? Yeah, okay, that's interesting that. Yeah,

437
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 2: and so he knows presumably or maybe he.

438
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 1: Was No, Yeah, I know, you tell them everything. Turns

439
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 1: out he met someone at a New Year's party and

440
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 1: he hooked up with her. Instead of telling me, he

441
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 1: just blocked me everywhere and sent a lackey lackey oh yeah,

442
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 1: and sent a lackey to message me a few weeks

443
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: later with the real story and a half assed apology.

444
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 2: Oh it was a sister.

445
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 1: Ah. I want to be angry, and maybe a part

446
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 1: of me is. But as I'm sitting here, I'm just thinking,

447
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 1: what if it's me? What if I'm just not lovable?

448
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 1: What if it's never gonna happen for me?

449
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 2: No? No, no, so much better.

450
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: Op.

451
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 2: It was a circle of people. Yeah, been around that

452
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: circle of people that knew each other from long ago.

453
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: You just need to go. Yeah, you need to try

454
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: to someone who does not know your first.

455
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: X, like he's a cancer.

456
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: He's metaphorically would do we have another word for that.

457
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: He is a plague.

458
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 2: He's a plague. He is a disease. He spreads disease. No,

459
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 2: he's he's horrible. Yeah, everyone he touches gets horrible. There

460
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 2: we go. Yeah.

461
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: The thing is, I've been a pretty confident person. I

462
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 1: went through BS as a kid, but I got through

463
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 1: it and grew stronger. I'm pretty good looking, though I've

464
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 1: admittedly put on a little weight in the past couple

465
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: of weeks. I've been told that I'm fun. I hold

466
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: out a good job and make decent money. I also

467
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: live my life according to my values. I've always put

468
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 1: my family and my partner first because that's just how

469
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,639
Speaker 1: I believe it should be done, and I thought that

470
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: I would be prioritized in return. I've lost most of

471
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: my family because they'd rather have my stepsister's baby in

472
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: their life than me. My friends have been fair weather

473
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 1: for the most part, and I know that I'm a

474
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: laughing stock in my friend group as much as they

475
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 1: pretend to pity me to my face. I feel the

476
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 1: little spark I've always had fading. I don't chime in

477
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: on conversation anymore. I've stopped putting on Q clothes when

478
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 1: I go out. I don't plan anything, so I don't

479
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: have anything to be disappointed about. Soon I'll be the

480
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: same age as my mom. When soon I'll be the

481
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 1: same age as my mom when she died. Oh, I

482
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 1: never knew her, but I've always loved her, thinking of

483
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 1: her watching over me. I don't remember the funeral, but

484
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: it was one of those funerals when there wasn't a

485
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 1: dry eye in the house. She lit up a room.

486
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: People tell me she was a good woman. In my

487
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 1: worst moments, I wonder what it would be like if

488
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: I died right now? Would eddie this is so sad?

489
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, would anyone cry? Would anyone care?

490
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 1: Would anyone even come anyhow? Sorry for writing a novella.

491
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: Just not sure what to do anymore and who to

492
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: talk to. If you read all this, thank you. There's

493
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 1: another update.

494
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 2: I just found another another update because she said she

495
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: made decent minds. To God, if this doesn't get happier,

496
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be sad all day, all day. We got

497
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 2: we got a big day ahead of this.

498
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna be sad all day. I don't

499
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 1: even have anything to say about that. I don't have

500
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: any thoughts because that's just so sad. You don't deserve this.

501
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: Adult find new friends, my.

502
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 1: New friends, find a new circle. I'm gonna go to

503
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: the update because I really want something good to happen. Hey, folks,

504
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 1: I thought that things on the internet died after a

505
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 1: couple of days, so color me surprise when I'm still

506
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: getting requests for updates on the regular. Long story short,

507
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: I don't have much to update. I didn't end up

508
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: going to New Mexico because I conveniently got COVID the

509
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: week before I was supposed to go. Oh no, the

510
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: baby was had, but I have had no contact with

511
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,959
Speaker 1: the baby or their parents. I've done a pretty good

512
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: job of insulating myself from news about them. Let's slash

513
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: the rest of my family. My life is pretty much

514
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 1: the same as it was. So sorry to the folks

515
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: who are hoping I've had some kind of happy ending

516
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: to slap onto all of this. Things are improving just

517
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 1: because time barrels on and you can grow numb to

518
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 1: most anything given enough time and distance. But I have

519
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: had no grand revelations, have not met the love of

520
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: my life, nor had elaborate revenge on those who have

521
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: wronged me. I'm going to Europe for the first time

522
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 1: in October though. So that's exciting.

523
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 2: Oh, it is excited this country.

524
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, leave the country, go on a trip, say for

525
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: a year. I will say this, while I appreciate the

526
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: solidarity and sometimes colorful language to describe my sister and

527
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: Ben and my DMS, I wholeheartedly ask everyone reading this

528
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: not to waste their energy on hating them. They're now

529
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: parents to a newborn, and regardless of the things they've

530
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: done in the past, I hope that they can come

531
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 1: together as a happy family and raise their child in

532
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: a loving, healthy home. Hating them doesn't do anything for anyone,

533
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: including ourselves, in the long run.

534
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 2: Why is she so nice? Ah, you're so.

535
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: Nice, You're so nice, opie. Anyhow, that's the non update update.

536
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: I promise that if I meet the love of my

537
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: life at the top of the Eiffel Tower, or or

538
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: more likely stuffing my face with waffles in Bruges. I

539
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: add waffles in Bruges. They were delicious, I will post

540
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: another update. Until then, you can assume that I am living,

541
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: trying my best, and am very appreciative of all the

542
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 1: people out there in the world who have read the

543
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: saga and reached out with the support, even if I

544
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 1: have not had the energy to respec on to everyone.

545
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 1: Update in the comments, Hi just wanted to give it

546
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: more recent, less depressing update. I'm currently in my hotel

547
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: room in Paris, eating a crumbrew, lay in bed, reading

548
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: a romance novel, and about.

549
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 2: To go to sleep early. All as well, Aw, and.

550
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: There's another update. But I'm really glad that there's a

551
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: little bit of a happy news. That's good, eating a

552
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: crumbrewlay in bed, reading a romance novel.

553
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 2: That's like Paris. In Paris, I hope there's like a

554
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 2: view of the Eiffel Tower. I hope so too. She

555
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 2: needs that. She just needed to get out of the country.

556
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, leave everything behind, find yourself.

557
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 2: But I scoured the internet. You scoured, and I found

558
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: a new new update.

559
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: I like this Opie because she gives us everything that

560
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 1: we want. This is presumably five This is five months,

561
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: I'm assuming five months later today, five months ago today. Hello,

562
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 1: So it's been a minute, but I still get messages

563
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: from folks asking how I've been, and I'm up too

564
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 1: early and a little bit bored. So I thought i'd

565
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: give you the answer I was written for. You made

566
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 1: a lot of really positive changes in my life, and

567
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: I am in a much better place physically and mentally

568
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: than I was last year. To answer some specific questions, no,

569
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 1: I'm not in contact with my family. The last straw

570
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: was in spring twenty twenty two. My dad emailed me

571
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: to ask if we could get lunch and talk. Me,

572
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: having always harbored the secret and foolish hope that we'd

573
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,199
Speaker 1: reconcile and go back to normal, agreed. I arrived at

574
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: the restaurant and waited two hours. When my server gave

575
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: me a free dessert on the house with a p

576
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: thing look, I called it and went home. Later, I

577
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: got an email from my stepmom, which I'm sure was

578
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: full of excuses, but I didn't read it.

579
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 2: Her dad stood her up. Her dad's horrible.

580
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: Your family sucks. I'm glad that you're no like I mean,

581
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: I'm not glad that you're no contact with them, but

582
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, it is a good decision to be no contact,

583
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,959
Speaker 1: like this suck. Your dad sucks. Ah, I'm so angry.

584
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: I'm so angry. This is a rollercoaster of emotions. I

585
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: was like, really sad and not furious, but the real

586
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 1: positive outcome of that was that made me realize that

587
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: I needed to move far away and not come back,

588
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: which I did. I'd always been really scared to move

589
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: away from my family, but since I don't have it,

590
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: But since I don't have one anymore, I ended up

591
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 1: somewhat spontaneously moving halfway across the country. The spontaneous move

592
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,719
Speaker 1: was stressful and expensive, but I can now say that

593
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: moving was one of the best decisions of my life.

594
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: I ended up reconnecting with an old friend and falling

595
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 1: in with her friend group, who are the loveliest people.

596
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: I have never felt safer or more supported, and I

597
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: feel so lucky to have them in my life. And

598
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: it's less humid here. That's a big win.

599
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: She's on the West Coast.

600
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: One of our friends is a counselor who helped me

601
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: find a therapist that I really click with. And it

602
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: took a few tries and a therapists who didn't immediately

603
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: want to do CBT with me.

604
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 2: What is CBT?

605
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: I know it, but I don't know.

606
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 2: I think it's weird. Oh, I think I could be wrong.

607
00:27:55,520 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 2: I CBD. Now that's CBD. I feel the comments right

608
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: now saying CBD mean like rather you're such an thing, idiot,

609
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: I hate you. Nogative behavioral therapy therapy got you, Okay,

610
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, I thought it was the one where

611
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: they showed you images like like a cheating boyfriend. We go, here,

612
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: we go, here, we go? What are you looking at?

613
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: A graph? A graf?

614
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: Why was that like a Christopher walking impression? A graph?

615
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: I can't do a Christopher.

616
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is.

617
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm Christopher Walk.

618
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I never mind. I know that guy.

619
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: My really broad impression helps you get there?

620
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 2: Behave.

621
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,880
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't see that, but it doesn't matter.

622
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: I like graphs.

623
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: Who didn't immediately want to do CBT with me, which

624
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 1: just isn't my thing. But I found someone I really

625
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: connect with. I'm now doing I f S therapy.

626
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 2: Wait, therapy terms these acronyms. We can't say anything because

627
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 2: we're also an acronym. Yeah, we do, the goal of

628
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: IFS therapy is to help people identify and accept the

629
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 2: different parts of the and heal the parts that are wounded.

630
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 1: Well, what does IFS stand for though?

631
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: Internal family systems? Interesting? Wait, wait, we need a graphed A.

632
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: Graph can't go anywhere without a graph.

633
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,479
Speaker 2: Sorry, guys, I don't. I don't have the graphs for you,

634
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: but just like, look up the graphs.

635
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: Just look up the graphs. Internal Family Systems therapy.

636
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 2: If you're in your car, pull over right now, look

637
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: at right now, look it up, look pull up a

638
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 2: graph or don't or don't be spontaneous pull over, no pressure.

639
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: Okay, anyway, I'm not doing IFS therapy and it has

640
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: really changed my relationship with myself and help me realize

641
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: all of the hurt and pain I've been holding on

642
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: to and start to heal. So y'all were right and

643
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: I needed to.

644
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 2: Go to therapy. Good for her, Yes, that is good.

645
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: Give yourselves a pat on the back for that one.

646
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: I also got diagnosed with depression and I'm taking medicine

647
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: for that. It was a bit hard to stomach as

648
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: someone who always saw her value as being the happy

649
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: person who takes care of everyone all the time. But

650
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: it turns out that sometimes when your needs aren't meant

651
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: as a kid, you end up becoming the a person

652
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: who takes care of everyone all the time. That if

653
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: you show the slightest bit of unhappiness, you won't be

654
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: loved anymore. And that's effed up it is. That's why

655
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: a lot of comedians are very sad like they're very funny,

656
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: like Robin Williams is like amazing, you know person, but

657
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: obviously had like a very sad or was dealing with

658
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: a lot of sadness. That's just a side note.

659
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 2: Wow, I wanted to be a comedian. Do you have

660
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 2: a lot of sadness? I guess I do recently recently

661
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 2: have a lot of sadness. I do have a lot

662
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 2: of sadness recently.

663
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: Anyway.

664
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 2: Oh, I also had a guy, another one, a better one.

665
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: I hope there are times to charge.

666
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what they say. They said three times, and

667
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: then you get there and I know you're all saying

668
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: papaya No.

669
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: I think that's thea. No.

670
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: Your decision making around men cannot be trusted. But I

671
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: assure you that he's different. Instead of rolling his eyes

672
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling off, he'll either just quietly lay on

673
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: the couch with me or go for a walk. He'll

674
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: say really dirty things to me and is spot on

675
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: kermit until I'm laughing so hard I can't focus on

676
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: anything else. And Bunns he's far too busy painting. D

677
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: and D minis to find the time to cheat on me,

678
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: so I'm not even worried about that. I did have

679
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: to invest in a somewhat elaborate Renaissance ferret costume, which

680
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: is not something I had imagined for myself. But I'm

681
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: having a great time. I'm going to marry this dude someday.

682
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: I love this. That's what I want. I want. I

683
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 1: want someone to pay D and D minis and play

684
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: D and D with me. That's my dream, and go

685
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: to rennes I never I've never been to a Renaissance. No, Okay,

686
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: well we'll get into it.

687
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: I have a friend back home you should meet then. Okay, Okay,

688
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 2: we'll talk about it after this. He's like six, he's

689
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: six years old.

690
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: As for Ben and my sister, as far as I know,

691
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: they're still together. Every so often she tries to get

692
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: in touch with some manner a burner account, but I

693
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: ignore all of it. I'm still bummed that I'm not

694
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: going to be part of my nibbling's life, and I do,

695
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: honestly still really miss my family, oh nibbling. As in

696
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 1: the Nemesis sibling Child, it's like the gender neutral version

697
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 1: of niece and nephew, nibbling.

698
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 2: Someone comment the term the correct term for this. That

699
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: doesn't sound like a sibling.

700
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that is a term that is the current thing,

701
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: and I do, honestly still really miss my family, but

702
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: I know this is right for me. Sorry, I don't

703
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 1: have any salacious info on them, since I know you're

704
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: all really here to hear about their karmic downfall or whatever.

705
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 1: But on my end, things are good, better than they

706
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: were before I found out I was being cheated on.

707
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: My current life is built on a real contentment, not

708
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: fear disguised as shallow happiness. It's not perfect, and I

709
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: have a lot of problems that I'm working through, but

710
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself and I think my mom.

711
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: Would be too.

712
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: Oh so that's the update. I think it's going to

713
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: be the last one. Thanks Reddit for supporting me and

714
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: making me smile through some of the worst, weirdest points

715
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: in my life. May you too be blessed with Internet

716
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: strangers who cheer you on and offer to sabotage the

717
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: lives of people who do you wrong.

718
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 2: It's so beautiful. Oh my god, we had to get

719
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: through how many words? Was that? A lot? A lot?

720
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: That was three thirty three hundred oh more more, Oh,

721
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: because you added stuff forty three hundred, forty three hundred

722
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: words to get to a happy ending. And I'm glad

723
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 1: we stuck it.

724
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 2: Me too, because yeah, that, oh my gosh, the amount

725
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: of ups and downs. I really hope she's doing all right.

726
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 1: I hope. So it seems like she is, but I

727
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: hope I hope she is.

728
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 2: And I think, like, because earlier she was like, why

729
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 2: is this always happening to me? I'm a bad person.

730
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: The fact that she's in this place now where she

731
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: still knows she has problems and things to deal with,

732
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,959
Speaker 2: but she's proud of herself. Yeah, that is an amazing

733
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: place to be.

734
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I'm in therapy, I'm feeling better and I've

735
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: got work to do. Chef's kiss.

736
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: Wow, full circle. And the fact that she holds really

737
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: no resentment towards her family. She knows that they're razzy,

738
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 2: they did her wrong, but she's like, you know what,

739
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna like not gonna burn their house down.

740
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 2: Literally high road. They took the high road and like

741
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 2: went across the country. Dude, going across the country really

742
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 2: does something to a person, really does.

743
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: You came across the country and you're like, I've got a.

744
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 2: Whole new life. I really do like me.

745
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: No, I mean I think it does change.

746
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,919
Speaker 2: Three months ago it was very different from me now.

747
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: I Well. I think also when you have a like

748
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 1: a completely different group of friends because your friends, there's

749
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: like this whole thing about like your friends.

750
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 2: Show me your five friends, and I'll show you who

751
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 2: you are. Yeah.

752
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, your friends, your five friends like establish who

753
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 1: you are as a person. And I think that's super

754
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: true because I think I am different around different groups

755
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: of friends.

756
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 2: Wonder if we're each other's five friends.

757
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: I think you have to be. We live, I see

758
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 1: you every day now that is true. I think you're

759
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: like one of the people I see the most now.

760
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: Same. Yeah, we influence each other. Yeah huh, I have

761
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: to think about that. Okay, you know what I want

762
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: to think on even more though this next story. Yeah,

763
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:51,240
Speaker 2: I hope. Okay.

764
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: Also, for you guys out there who have been complaining

765
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: about the amount that we talk of, we yap, I

766
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:57,720
Speaker 1: hope we yapped less.

767
00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, let us yap yep.

768
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: Today AFT up by marrying a sociopath who faked having

769
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 1: cancer and then I divorced them. This is okop Home

770
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: of the craziest true stories on Earth.

771
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: Riley. You know, I usually say something wild after these

772
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 2: things that.

773
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 1: Was already pretty wild.

774
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 2: I'm not. I don't even know what to saying.

775
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say either that wild, this

776
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: is crazy.

777
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I'd get canceled even if I

778
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 2: tried to joke about it. Yeah. No, I think we

779
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:27,879
Speaker 2: just read the story.

780
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, please, Okay, so discard after using TA says

781
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: like most today, I afft up. This story actually happened

782
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: in the past, and I'm on a throwaway account to

783
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,959
Speaker 1: protect my ninem and the e. About six years ago,

784
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: I was dating a girl who I had to go

785
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: to school with and reconnected with at a bar one

786
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: night after blacking out from alcohol and marijuana. It started

787
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: any true love story.

788
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 2: Fact, that's so funny. My parents got together low.

789
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: Key blacking out from alcohol and marijuana.

790
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 2: I yeah, they didn't really tell me the full story,

791
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 2: but they.

792
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: Don't remember the full story anyway. In our quest to

793
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: eskate reality, we really hit it off and started drinking

794
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: and smoking pot pretty much every day and eventually got

795
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 1: into the occasional harder drugs. This didn't seem like a

796
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: problem at the time, though we were both in the throes

797
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 1: of substance dependency. Oh, it was easily ignored as socially acceptable.

798
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: Fast forward a few years, and everything seemed great. I

799
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 1: had a great job, we had just moved into a

800
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: nice apartment, and we were deeply in love. She was

801
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: my best friend, and I saw us getting married and

802
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: having a family together one day. Oh However, in the

803
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 1: winter a few years ago, she gave me the devastating

804
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: news that the cancer from her childhood had returned. It

805
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: was heartbreaking to hear, and I did everything I could

806
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 1: to comfort her. I told her how I would take

807
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,359
Speaker 1: care of her and love her no matter what, and

808
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: that we were going to beat it. I offered to

809
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: go to her doctor's appointments, give her rides, buy whatever

810
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: she needed, and do what any good partner would do.

811
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: But things seemed off from the get go. While she

812
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 1: was always getting sick from chemo, and any time I

813
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: tried to take off work to go to a doctor's appointment,

814
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: the appointment would get changed at the last minute, or

815
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 1: something else would pop up, like a uti or injury

816
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: that would require going to the er. I can't tell

817
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 1: you how many days I spent with her waiting in

818
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: the RS or taking her to doctor's appointments at various hospitals.

819
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: I even picked her up at Dana Farber. What oh,

820
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 1: Dana Farber Cancer Institute. I even picked her up at

821
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 1: Dana Farber Cancer Institute about ten times after suppose doctor's appointments.

822
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 2: What was she doing? What was she doing? Because she's

823
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: in cancer we already know this was she doing? Wait,

824
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 2: but like she's actually at the hospital.

825
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: She's going to the hospital, but like for fun, like

826
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: she's going to get lunch or something.

827
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: Oh.

828
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: The odd part was whenever I was able to be there,

829
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: doctors would always ask me to leave the room before

830
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: speaking with her, which I didn't see odd at the time.

831
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: That gave her the cover she needed to keep the

832
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: ruse going. I figured most of her sickness that popped

833
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: up were related to the chema.

834
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,919
Speaker 2: Wait wait wait what wait waitit wait? But I see

835
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 2: you in the comments, but you see what's going on?

836
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 2: I mean, I see in general, what do you mean?

837
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,879
Speaker 2: He said? The doctors would ask him to leave, and

838
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 2: that gave her the cover she needed to keep the

839
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 2: ruse going. Yeah, she's the doctors. What yeah, Yeah. Conspiracy

840
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 2: conspiracy theory, that's what's happening. Why would the doctor? Why

841
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 2: would the doctors?

842
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, have you never been to a doctor's appointment

843
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: with like a family member.

844
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,320
Speaker 2: I understand that we also have to leave the room.

845
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: But if she doesn't have cancer, what are they talking about? No,

846
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 2: they're talking no.

847
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: But she's probably like going for like into the doctors

848
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: and being like, hey, I have this like issue, just

849
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: like bringing up random issues, and it's told them prior that,

850
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,240
Speaker 1: like she prefers to, you know, talk about in privacy.

851
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 2: I just said his conspiracy theory, but I I that

852
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 2: might be what's going on.

853
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 1: Okay, let's find out. I figured most of her sicknesses

854
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: that popped up were related to the chemo. After all,

855
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: she was losing lots of weight, was very sickly and

856
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: throwing up daily. Is she pregnant?

857
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 2: No, you wouldn't be losing it, but you know, dang,

858
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 2: oh wow.

859
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 1: She wouldn't be losing light if she was pregnant, right.

860
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 2: Or it's just an elaborate scheme. My god.

861
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 1: She also was able to answer most of my questions

862
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: related to her treatment. Being an idiot, and because I

863
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: wanted her to know that I was in it for

864
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: the long haul. I eventually proposed to her ooh, and

865
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 1: that fall we had an amazing wedding over one hundred

866
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: of her close to friends and family, a beautiful fall

867
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: day and one of the happiest days of my life.

868
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: Her uncle, a lawyer, officiated for us, and I was

869
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: happy to call her my wife.

870
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 2: Ah.

871
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: The odd part was I never signed the forms to

872
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 1: get the marriage certificate because she was taking care of

873
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: it and her uncle, who married us and was supposedly

874
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: helping to expedite it. But a few weeks late, the

875
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: marriage certificate never arrived. I asked about it and was

876
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,919
Speaker 1: always in the mail. I found that odd, but bought

877
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,360
Speaker 1: the lie hook line and sinker for the next few months,

878
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: all the while her illness would get better than worse

879
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: than get better. At this point, I was paying for

880
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: everything and she was down to working part time according

881
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: to her. I even gave her money to pay off

882
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: her supposed medical bills. But then one day I saw

883
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: her drinking while supposedly on chemotherapy medication, and I realized

884
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: something was seriously wrong. I decided I had to confront her,

885
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: and I needed to hear about her illness from a

886
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 1: doctor's mouth without her filtering it. Because anytime I brought

887
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: up the doctors she would get mad at me for

888
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: being so incessant in trying to get that appointment. She

889
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: was able to delay the inevitable for a few more months

890
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: until I physically took her to the hospital and stood

891
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: there as she asked to speak with her doctor. Shortly after,

892
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: a doctor brought us to her room, where she came

893
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: clean about not having cancer and proceeded to have a

894
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 1: mental breakdown and was institutionalized.

895
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 2: WHOA, oh boy.

896
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: I'll never forget how it felt sitting in the room

897
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: as the lies of the past few years rumbled before me.

898
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: It was the most pain I ever felt in my life,

899
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 1: and was like the past few years of my life

900
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,320
Speaker 1: were complete.

901
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:00,760
Speaker 2: Lie.

902
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 1: I should have ended it there, but stupidly I didn't.

903
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: I decided to try to help her still through her

904
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: actual illness, which had components of schizophrenia and bolimia. I

905
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 1: was wondering because she was throwing up, So that does yeah,

906
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: that does add up.

907
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 2: She wasn't the doctor, No, No.

908
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: I didn't think she was, because it makes sense that

909
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: she was actually like ill in an.

910
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 2: Out yea, he would have got weird vised in the

911
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 2: doctor too.

912
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, if I had to guess, I'd say it also

913
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 1: had a component of being a sociopath, but I'm no

914
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 1: psychologist anyway. She got out of the hospital after a

915
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 1: few days and then went into an inpatient treatment, then

916
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: out patient, and then back and forth a few times

917
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: over the next few months. Anyone that has ever dealt

918
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: with bolimia knows it's a very hard to treat disease,

919
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: and I had shrugged off all her abuse and lies

920
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 1: as being related to the bolimia. Eventually, when she was stable,

921
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: we started planning to move to New Hampshire because her

922
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: new job was in New Hampshire. Being the fool I was,

923
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: I found a new job myself in New Hampshire. My

924
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: first day, I was let out early, and when I

925
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 1: caught home I found her drunk on the couch and

926
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: surprised as ever to see me seeing her even with

927
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 1: empty bottles around. She denied any responsibility and started getting

928
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: mad at me. It was at that moment I knew

929
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: there was nothing I could do. I finally kicked her

930
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 1: out and started looking into divorce. Problem was I never

931
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 1: got my marriage certificate. She eventually told me that the

932
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: paperwork was never done and her marriage wasn't legal. Not

933
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 1: believing her at this point, I literally ran a background

934
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 1: check on myself to be sure she was actually telling

935
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,720
Speaker 1: the truth, which is odd because her uncle, the lawyer,

936
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: married us. Thankfully, it was the easiest divorce in history.

937
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: Though I was a fool, I don't regret trying to

938
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 1: be a good boyfriend and husband. I haven't seen her

939
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: since the day I kicked her out, but I hope

940
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 1: she eventually got the help she needed fighting her demons.

941
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 1: I'm glad I was able to get help fighting mine,

942
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 1: as the experience really messed me up for some time.

943
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say my life is so much better now.

944
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 1: I'm in a loving relationship with someone who is trustworthy,

945
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: and I haven't touched any drugs in over a year.

946
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 2: Nice.

947
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: I wish I didn't go through what I did, but

948
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: I'm glad I made it out the other side. Frank,

949
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 1: I wouldn't believe this story if it didn't happen to me,

950
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: but that's okay. I feel like I made it through

951
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,320
Speaker 1: holland back and it made me much stronger and wiser.

952
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 1: She was never held responsible for her abuse and theft,

953
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: but I will leave that up to the universe to

954
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: work out. I'm just grateful to be free. My only

955
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: relationship advice is that it is okay to trust, but

956
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: don't be a blind fool and deny reality, especially when

957
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: faced with overwhelming evidence. Wow, boy, oh boy, these stories

958
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: are wild.

959
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 2: This wild, It's crazy. What do you think she was

960
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 2: a sociopath?

961
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to speculate because they already like diagnosed

962
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 1: her and I'm definitely not a psychologist. But like regardless,

963
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: I think she had like issues that she needed help with.

964
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: And yeah, I don't think that op had the bandwidth

965
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 1: to like be able to take those on, especially after,

966
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: like you know, finding out that what your whole marriage

967
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: is live.

968
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 2: I mean people say like, oh, I am a sociopath,

969
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 2: but you know they're joking. Yeah, what is like? Lack

970
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 2: of empathy for others, impulsive behavior, attempting to control others,

971
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: threats and aggression, using intelligence, charm or charismatic to manipulate others,

972
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 2: not learning from mistakes or punishment, lying for personal gang

973
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 2: and showing Tennessee who was physical violence and fights hm hm,

974
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 2: which is also it's also called ASPD. Well that that's

975
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 2: the whole story, nikes, Wow.

976
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 1: Wow, Wow, I'm glad that I'm glad that op found

977
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: someone else. I think that I think he said that

978
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 1: he found someone else, did Yeah, I think he said, like,

979
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm in a new relationship.

980
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 2: Which is great, good for him, Yeah, because that relationship

981
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 2: is a lot. That is a lot, and like he

982
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 2: did the best that he could do. You think he

983
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 2: could have left earlier? Should he have left earlier? Yeah?

984
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 2: When would you have left?

985
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: I think when I found Like, I think he's such

986
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: a good guy because I think if I found out

987
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: that my partner was lying about cancer, I'd be like, which,

988
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: like I also understand that, like she truly like had

989
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: some you know, mental issues going on, but yeah, like

990
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 1: diagnosed things. But I don't know if I would. I

991
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: don't know if I'd be like, wow, I'm going to

992
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 1: keep paying for all this stuff? Like that's not good

993
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: on him, honestly, Like that's a lot to go through

994
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:10,320
Speaker 1: and still be like I'm willing to help you. Like, jeez,

995
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: these people and these two stories are so like self sacrificing.

996
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 2: They are they really are. Yeah, these people are nice people. Jees.

997
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: You know what's nice though? What this next story you're

998
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 2: gonna read? Oh,