Speaker 1: When I do live gigs around the country, I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I sell T shirts and swag to
Speaker 1: the folks who are there, and then people always say,
Speaker 1: can we get this swag without sitting through a whole
Speaker 1: evening of you. Well, it's happened. It's finally here. You
Speaker 1: can buy Craig Ferguson merch on the Craig Ferguson Merch
Speaker 1: website and you can buy it for yourself or someone
Speaker 1: you hate or someone you love. For more information and
Speaker 1: link to the web store, please go to the Craig
Speaker 1: Fergusonshow dot com. That's all lowercase, the Craig Ferguson show
Speaker 1: dot com. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of
Speaker 1: this podcast is joy. I talk to interest in people
Speaker 1: about what brings them happiness. My guest today is someone
Speaker 1: who I've known for a very long time. It was
Speaker 1: one of my favorite guests when I was doing.
Speaker 2: The late night show.
Speaker 1: And she is maybe the coolest person I know. Now
Speaker 1: I know some pretty cool people. She's certainly in the
Speaker 1: top fifty. She's very very cool. Aisha Tyler, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm so good?
Speaker 1: Is your coffee tasty?
Speaker 3: I love this coffee.
Speaker 2: It was described to me as a blonde Americano.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Strange sexual subtext with the coffee, but it's got but
Speaker 2: if a.
Speaker 1: Do belong tone, If you don't mind me saying it
Speaker 1: really does, I don't mind it at all. This is
Speaker 1: from a new company called.
Speaker 3: Never heard of Them? Yeah, no idea that right.
Speaker 1: So somebody just told me you've got a cocktail company.
Speaker 2: I started a cocktail company. Yeah, you know. I can't
Speaker 2: remember the last time I saw you. It's been a
Speaker 2: long time, a long time in person anyway.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, let me tell you this because I don't
Speaker 1: know if you knew the time. I think you did,
Speaker 1: because I think I said it to you, like because
Speaker 1: you were when I when I quit late night, they
Speaker 1: said who do you think should take over?
Speaker 3: And I said I used to Oh my god, thank
Speaker 3: you for that.
Speaker 1: I thank you, But no one listens to me.
Speaker 3: So because no one listens to me either, because the whole.
Speaker 1: Time I was doing that shore, I was worried about,
Speaker 1: you know, my weight and my accent. And then you
Speaker 1: pick a fat guy with a working worse accent than me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, that's not right at all? Are you
Speaker 1: still working? For CBS.
Speaker 3: To me, yeah, I still work for CBS. I'm Criminal Minds.
Speaker 2: And well now Criminal Minds is on Paramount Plus, so
Speaker 2: it's it's like the parent organization is it's not CBS anymore.
Speaker 1: Minds is like an institution though it's it's.
Speaker 2: In its seventeen season, which is just like a mathematic impossibility.
Speaker 1: Right, You've called you must be really rich. It was
Speaker 1: like seventeen seasons and then.
Speaker 3: You're like, I've only done seven seasons, so I'm only.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so you're still in the kind of like
Speaker 1: fifty bucks an episode.
Speaker 3: Still I'm still world building.
Speaker 2: But but yeah, I mean, I I realize now that
Speaker 2: I had been working for CBS in some capacity or
Speaker 2: another for probably two decades.
Speaker 3: My god, you know, I had done. I had done.
Speaker 2: I had like a couple of overall deals there, and
Speaker 2: then I did Ghost Whisper and then I was on
Speaker 2: you know, The Talk, and I did c S.
Speaker 3: I for a season.
Speaker 1: They was really they really love you.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's me. It's a company of loyalty.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think they bet on their own good instinct. Right,
Speaker 2: It's like if they bet on you, they believe in you,
Speaker 2: they stick with you.
Speaker 1: I never really worked for them, No, No, when I
Speaker 1: was doing late and I worked for Dave my Time
Speaker 1: Slow and CBS on the thing. Yeah yeah, you know.
Speaker 3: But did you ever interact with CBS? Yeah a little bit.
Speaker 1: No much. I mean I had to go to the building,
Speaker 1: but not much. I had to have I had to
Speaker 1: go to some Super Bowls every now and again.
Speaker 2: Oh. I just went to the Super Bowl this year
Speaker 2: because it was it was a really really good game
Speaker 2: and it was the Swifties versus everyone else. Yeah, the
Speaker 2: Swifties versus the Internet. Yeah, from San Francisco.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just there last year, were you. It's awesome, right,
Speaker 3: It's a great city.
Speaker 2: It's it's in my opinion, and obviously I'm biased, it's
Speaker 2: the most beautiful city in America.
Speaker 3: It has beautiful It's like our Paris.
Speaker 2: Right, it's got this it's surrounded by water, it's walkable,
Speaker 2: there's great restaurants. It's got the most beautiful baseball park
Speaker 2: in the world. I will, I will actually get into
Speaker 2: a physical altercation over it.
Speaker 1: I haven't been to the base.
Speaker 2: It's it's delirious, like it overlooks the bay and there's
Speaker 2: splashed down alley where if there's like a home run,
Speaker 2: it goes into the water and they're kayakers out there
Speaker 2: catching the baseball, and you know, and then at San
Speaker 2: Francisco's you can get like sushi, you know, like garlic
Speaker 2: fries at the park.
Speaker 1: But because I was looking on social media, which I
Speaker 1: you know, is a mistake. You shouldn't do that.
Speaker 2: No, you shouldn't, and I I'm shocked. That feels out
Speaker 2: of character for you.
Speaker 1: Actually it actually did. I I don't have anything.
Speaker 3: And pull out your abacus to look at social media.
Speaker 1: Every now and again, I do it, like I download
Speaker 1: Instagram because I have gone Instagram again. Yeah, And normally
Speaker 1: it's just like ignore it, yeah, dude, Like somebody says,
Speaker 1: all right, you're posting. I think about your podcast, like okay, good,
Speaker 1: this is what we're going to say. Is that okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: But every now and again I go on it and
Speaker 1: look at it. I was looking at for somebody in
Speaker 1: San Francisco because I was go in there. It come
Speaker 1: up and it's like San Francisco in the hell of
Speaker 1: San Francisco fire. And then I was like you went
Speaker 1: and it was like it's birds are tweeting and it's
Speaker 1: it's perfect it's.
Speaker 2: A city because I grew up there. Like that, I
Speaker 2: find that narrative specifically irritating. I'm like, right, there's always
Speaker 2: been an intense I don't even say homeless problem. It's
Speaker 2: just it's a progressive city and people help homeless people.
Speaker 2: So homeless people go there because they know there are services.
Speaker 2: They know it's a good place if you're poor, because
Speaker 2: it's a progressive place and people are going to take
Speaker 2: care of you. The big problem, honestly is tech. Right,
Speaker 2: Tech took over the city and then they abandoned it,
Speaker 2: and so there's a part of San Francisco it's pretty
Speaker 2: small where they all left their offices. They empty, and
Speaker 2: it's it feels a little bit like a ghost town.
Speaker 3: But like you know, I blame Zuckerberg.
Speaker 1: I blame in Zuckerberg for most things. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: I think that that one of the worst things that's
Speaker 1: happened to the human race in the past fifty years
Speaker 1: and then, and there's been a few pretty bad things.
Speaker 3: It's been pretty bad.
Speaker 1: But social media is that's a civilization then there. If
Speaker 1: we're not careful it is.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because I can see the value in it,
Speaker 2: Like I remember during COVID feeling like they're like, and
Speaker 2: my Twitter feed is pretty positive because I look at
Speaker 2: positive things. So like, my Twitter feed was you know,
Speaker 2: I looked at poppy videos and kitting videos or like
Speaker 2: my primary source of information during COVID because it was
Speaker 2: the only way not to lose your mind. But you know,
Speaker 2: Twitter was responsible for, or at least partly responsible for
Speaker 2: driving the Arab spring. It was partially, I think predominantly
Speaker 2: responsible for driving Black Lives Matter. Like it was a
Speaker 2: way for people to share information without the filter of
Speaker 2: kind of corporate media. It was a way for you
Speaker 2: to get information from people on the ground rather than
Speaker 2: again from corporate media. But I mean, because I'm not
Speaker 2: a twelve year old girl, I know when I'm looking
Speaker 2: at something on the Internet that's going to make me
Speaker 2: feel like shit for weeks after, So I don't look
Speaker 2: at it. Right. I have an ability to filter with
Speaker 2: my mind. I'm psychic, amusing my mind and brain. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is bullshit, this is real.
Speaker 1: I think that I could easily become a radicalized face
Speaker 1: book mom if I had Facebook. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: just because I don't I mean, I used to know
Speaker 1: when I was looking at bullshit and now I kind
Speaker 1: of don't. It's tough.
Speaker 2: It's tough to parse and those I mean, there are
Speaker 2: elements that are trying to tell you, like everything you
Speaker 2: see around you.
Speaker 3: I mean, this is like a thought, a thought experiment.
Speaker 2: What if all of a sudden every message you got
Speaker 2: was the world isn't real. Everything you're looking at isn't real,
Speaker 2: everything you've been told isn't real. You can't figure, you
Speaker 2: can't get back on the Oh, his hand.
Speaker 1: Is up, guys. Yes, right, So here's what I think.
Speaker 1: So you're familiar with the work of Renade the cart.
Speaker 3: Right, Yes, but I wouldn't say intimately.
Speaker 1: All right, but enough to go to look at When
Speaker 1: he was like, I've talked about this before on podcasts,
Speaker 1: but when you use reason, when he went to try
Speaker 1: and use reason rather than revelation to prove the existence
Speaker 1: of God, and so he started with that he would
Speaker 1: doubt everything, right, So you just doubt everything. I doubt
Speaker 1: I doubt that I exist, I doubt that God exists,
Speaker 1: I doubt the universe is real. Everything doubt everything. So
Speaker 1: that's where we start. The only thing you can't doubt
Speaker 1: is that you're doubting, right, I mean, you can if
Speaker 1: you're doubting, you're doubting, right. So if you're doubting, the
Speaker 1: what you need to do to doubt is to think right.
Speaker 1: And if you're thinking, that's where he got to cognito
Speaker 1: ergo simon. If I thinking I exist, so I think
Speaker 1: therefore I am. And I wonder if, like with social media,
Speaker 1: the answer is not to try and stop it, because
Speaker 1: you're not going to stop it. It's not going to stop.
Speaker 2: It's gonna it may, it may devour itself itself. And
Speaker 2: you know, at some point, I think X is eventually
Speaker 2: going to winkle out of existence because it's.
Speaker 1: No longer as relevant as I meant the teeth that
Speaker 1: it had when it was Twitter.
Speaker 2: It had literally like a party at four thirty in
Speaker 2: the morning where like three people are still in there
Speaker 2: and they're pouring getting all the beers together to make
Speaker 2: one giant kind of one beer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're just in the corner screaming at each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the whole idea of using reason to fight against
Speaker 1: the power of social media, because I'm genuinely scared. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm scared of it. I'm second it's.
Speaker 2: It's worth being, you know, frightened on behalf of people
Speaker 2: who are living in a space of doubt and can't
Speaker 2: fight their way out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because their children.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean I couldn't even imagine having kids
Speaker 2: in this climate. Like my mother wouldn't let me watch television.
Speaker 2: We didn't have a TV.
Speaker 3: I read a lot. I mean, it explains a lot.
Speaker 2: But she was like, you know, you've got to form
Speaker 2: your own ideas, You've got to form your own perception
Speaker 2: of the world.
Speaker 3: But reason, Yeah, you've got a reason.
Speaker 2: You've got you've got to take in as much information
Speaker 2: as possible and make your own calculations.
Speaker 3: But kids don't do that.
Speaker 2: They're being they're being shaped by Forrest's outside of themselves
Speaker 2: when at their most impressionable. And I was just having
Speaker 2: a conversation with someone. We really went deep so fast.
Speaker 2: I was having a conversation my Boos company. We're talking
Speaker 2: about after after you free yourself out then. But it
Speaker 2: was that that fear. You know that they are kind
Speaker 2: of like these primary drivers in the human body, the
Speaker 2: human mind, and one of them is fear, and that
Speaker 2: fear and anger are like very closely coupled.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: You know, we're animals and we've only been walking up
Speaker 2: right for a very short period of time in our
Speaker 2: evolutionary span. You know, we just figured out how to
Speaker 2: turn the lights Otherwise we've been around for you know,
Speaker 2: six hundred years, you know, and we were plopped on
Speaker 2: the earth with a big fun or jump fake dinosaurs,
Speaker 2: fake fake fossils, such an elaborate both what a what
Speaker 2: a what a what a broad sprawling false flag operationating.
Speaker 1: If you're an all powerful deity, why would you pull
Speaker 1: some kind of like.
Speaker 2: When you ask people these kinds of questions, right, like
Speaker 2: who and how and why would somebody spread these false
Speaker 2: fossils all over the world?
Speaker 3: I mean, what's a There's just no way. You can't
Speaker 3: it can't beget You're.
Speaker 2: Just like you'll go fizzle in the corner with your
Speaker 2: body with the work at the end of the party.
Speaker 2: But that the fear and the anger because you know
Speaker 2: we're you know, these kind of cowering creatures that we
Speaker 2: were living in caves and we're going to be eaten.
Speaker 2: They serve a purpose, right if you're frightened then and
Speaker 2: you're you know, you're fearful, then you get angry, then
Speaker 2: you fight, You protect yourself, you protect.
Speaker 3: Your family, you stay alive.
Speaker 2: Well, now you know, everybody's driving around in a cushy
Speaker 2: car and you know, staring at a shiny box, and
Speaker 2: so all that fear and anger, that kind of natural
Speaker 2: fear and anger that has been a protective element of
Speaker 2: you know, our species for so long, is now connected
Speaker 2: to the Internet and to social media, and so because
Speaker 2: it's a natural reaction, but it doesn't have anywhere to go.
Speaker 2: It's tethered to images of these people are trying to
Speaker 2: kill me, These people are threatening my way of life.
Speaker 2: This person wants to steal my daughter. This person wants
Speaker 2: to eat babies. None of these things are true, but
Speaker 2: we have to put that energy somewhere. And because people
Speaker 2: can't figure out what's real anymore, they become consumed by
Speaker 2: false images.
Speaker 1: So what do we do? How do we how do
Speaker 1: we figure out? I have a plan about a cocktail,
Speaker 1: but we have a cocktail and we watched can you
Speaker 1: see criminal mindy?
Speaker 2: You you are you know, I know you haven't had
Speaker 2: a drink in a very long time, and I'm always
Speaker 2: very very long time, which I'm very impressed by.
Speaker 3: But you're also like a very sophisticated thinker. I'll take
Speaker 3: it you well, you are. You're a very high thinker.
Speaker 2: My relationship with booze is is is complex, you know,
Speaker 2: because I love it and I'm a spirit enthusiast.
Speaker 3: I don't do a lot. I was. I'm a quality
Speaker 3: over quantity lady.
Speaker 1: Well see that's I would say that was healthy then.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, I feel like it's it's
Speaker 2: something that's been a tool of conviviality.
Speaker 3: It's a way to connect with people.
Speaker 1: If that's how it's for most people. Just for me
Speaker 1: it's not, But for most people, I think booze is
Speaker 1: reasonably healthful.
Speaker 2: And I think, you know, to think about it like
Speaker 2: anything else in the world, like social media or whatever
Speaker 2: it is, to try to find a way to have
Speaker 2: a healthy relationship with it and realize if you can't,
Speaker 2: to put it down right, because I think always a
Speaker 2: good way to look at it. But I just used
Speaker 2: to love the experience of going to a great bar,
Speaker 2: having a great drink, talking to the bartender.
Speaker 3: You know, I was a stand up, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 2: That's when you're a stand up, you have your hour
Speaker 2: on stage and then the other twenty three hours that
Speaker 2: you have to like entertain yourself, I know, and you
Speaker 2: gotta be careful. Yeah, and so I would go to
Speaker 2: a bar. I would go to a bar, you know,
Speaker 2: to talk to somebody, because you know, you can only
Speaker 2: eat bar mix in your hotel and watch Law and
Speaker 2: Order reruns so many nights before it's.
Speaker 1: Well with me. It's criminal minds. Thank you for that,
Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
Speaker 2: And and then I wanted to find a way to
Speaker 2: create that experience for people who didn't do that, you know,
Speaker 2: the idea of like, rather than drinking some sad warm
Speaker 2: beer or bad bottle of wine, to have one great
Speaker 2: drink at home, but not have to make it yourself.
Speaker 1: So will you? Does it come like pre make.
Speaker 3: Creemate, it's ready to drink cocktail.
Speaker 2: It's the brand is the line is calledhlosophy like philosophy
Speaker 2: all right, and which stands for the philosophy of elevation.
Speaker 2: The idea of like, don't drink the worst thing. Have
Speaker 2: have expression the best expression of what you're.
Speaker 1: Going to drink.
Speaker 3: Some oh my god in latin.
Speaker 2: Eless and so h and so it was really a
Speaker 2: way of saying, you know, you deserve better, because so
Speaker 2: much of this is ready to drink stuff is pretty trashy,
Speaker 2: Like yeah, so we have a margarita. It's the first,
Speaker 2: the first cocktail that we're launching with.
Speaker 3: It's a hundred percent organic.
Speaker 2: It's one hundred percent blue ebber agave tequila bottled in Mexico.
Speaker 3: It only has three ingredients tequila.
Speaker 2: Triple second line, which is all that should be in
Speaker 2: a margarita, right, And it took us two and a
Speaker 2: half years to develop. We hired a Citrus PhD, and
Speaker 2: they know those things existed.
Speaker 1: Wait, so somebody goes to college like a fancy call,
Speaker 1: very fancy. So what's your PhD going to be?
Speaker 3: Limes and limes and limes and.
Speaker 2: Women apart from limes and lemons, orange, tangerine, yellow, Buddha's hands.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, there are so many. I feel such a.
Speaker 2: Fool, you know, flung Latin in my face. I had
Speaker 2: to come back very aggressively.
Speaker 3: I'm a citrus eletterate.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable.
Speaker 2: There are many others that I couldn't even possibly meant.
Speaker 2: Oh coume quats, ohquatch.
Speaker 1: The come quotes are in the doll Belong Tondre Hall
Speaker 1: of Fame, along with Lake Tittykarca. Absolutely there's another one
Speaker 1: as well. I can't remember what it asked the blue
Speaker 1: Footed Booby, Bluefooted Booby, that's Bluefooted Booby, cum Quats and
Speaker 1: Lake Tittykarca the.
Speaker 3: Dublo Hall Hall of Fame.
Speaker 1: Right. The Craig Ferguson Fancy Rascal Stand Up Tour continues
Speaker 1: throughout the United States in twenty twenty four. For a
Speaker 1: full list of dates and tickets, go to the Craig
Speaker 1: Ferguson Show dot com slash tour.
Speaker 3: So you are there.
Speaker 1: When I said to you earlier that when I left
Speaker 1: late night, you were my you know, like they said
Speaker 1: to me, who do you think to take over? And
Speaker 1: I said, I think, I used to hell of it
Speaker 1: would be best for it because I think that you
Speaker 1: had the class and the and the poise that I
Speaker 1: hadn't done for further ten years previously. Is it something
Speaker 1: that you would have been interested in?
Speaker 2: I was interested in at the time, and I guess hosted.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, A lot of people come through.
Speaker 1: Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 3: It's so interesting? You know, I love this.
Speaker 2: I mean, I you know, I loved coming on the
Speaker 2: show when you did it. Yeah, Because I came out
Speaker 2: of stand up radio was a big fundamental part of
Speaker 2: my life for such a long time.
Speaker 3: I love your art of conversation.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think comedians passionate comedians.
Speaker 3: I mean, and we were very very people.
Speaker 2: But I think like at our core, we just love
Speaker 2: to have a conversation, right, I just want to sit
Speaker 2: down and like talk shit. Well, there's some guys want
Speaker 2: to scream at you or you know, our fart or
Speaker 2: blow something up or you know, bring something with a
Speaker 2: hammer amel, Yeah, exactly, But.
Speaker 3: I think we just want to have the chats, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I think that's true. But I think there is a
Speaker 1: generational uh divide, And maybe I'm just like a you know,
Speaker 1: I'm on my lawn or yelling at people. But you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not really complaining about it. I just noticed a
Speaker 1: difference that there is a there is a thing now
Speaker 1: where people will say I I would like to have
Speaker 1: a career in comedy, and they make it sound like
Speaker 1: like it's it's like being a citrus PhD or something.
Speaker 1: Do you know, It's like like it's a like I
Speaker 1: think the comedians that I like, and I include you
Speaker 1: in this, are people who kind of are in some
Speaker 1: way tortured into it. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That there's like the chats thing you talk about. I
Speaker 1: think that's true. Like, but comedians who are kind of
Speaker 1: like I really need to talk to somebody.
Speaker 3: Want anyone because I'm going to explore it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whereas you know, there are other comedians and I
Speaker 1: guess it's maybe not that new though, come and say, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, how about those airline peanuts everybody? Or what's
Speaker 1: the deal with shoes? You have to tie them? You
Speaker 1: don't tie them? And I'm like, well don't. I don't
Speaker 1: worry about that. I worry a lot more about about
Speaker 1: bigger maybe bigger, but maybe I should be worried about shoes.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like you know you. And then the guys
Speaker 2: that I really admired when I was a baby comic
Speaker 2: were the conversationalists, you know, that Bill Hicks's and the
Speaker 2: Mark Marin's and I was, I mean, you know, Mark's
Speaker 2: probably gonna just spin off into space, but I just
Speaker 2: I wanted to be Mark because what it felt like
Speaker 2: when I was watching him was this is a guy,
Speaker 2: He's just sitting down and he's talking to the audience,
Speaker 2: and it always felt really organic and natural.
Speaker 3: It felt like a conversation.
Speaker 1: I think with Mark is I mean, it's like he's
Speaker 1: such a I mean, no one would no one embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Very choke he's been. He's been improving himself for quite
Speaker 2: a bit of time.
Speaker 3: He's getting better.
Speaker 2: He does.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's I think he's involved quite a bit.
Speaker 2: I mean, or Tom Rhodes or you know, or the
Speaker 2: grandfather of all of us, Richard pryor you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. Where it was you know, obviously a very
Speaker 2: tortured guy, but it was also this conversation, right, like
Speaker 2: versus the guys that were like here, poop fart sounds
Speaker 2: way home.
Speaker 3: It was like, this is something that happened to me
Speaker 3: and you've felt.
Speaker 2: I always say to baby comics now, like it's it's
Speaker 2: important to be funny, but that's not the most important thing.
Speaker 3: The most important thing is to tell the truth.
Speaker 2: Because if you, if you, you can see when someone
Speaker 2: leaves a show that was hilarious and when someone goes,
Speaker 2: oh my fucking god, yeah.
Speaker 3: You have to hear what this guy was saying.
Speaker 2: When people are nodding their heads and they're punching their
Speaker 2: friend in the arm because they're like they're feeling something,
Speaker 2: and then the laugh is like important but complimentary, you know,
Speaker 2: what I mean, and.
Speaker 1: Well, I think what you're talking about there is a
Speaker 1: live stand up performance, yeah, I mean what exists now
Speaker 1: that I don't think. I mean there used to be
Speaker 1: like for a stand up you would try and get
Speaker 1: a ten minutes for tonight shure, yeah yeah, or ten
Speaker 1: minutes for the improv for ten minutes, but it was
Speaker 1: always a ten minute.
Speaker 3: Yes, that was supposed to encapsulate your pointing a meal.
Speaker 1: Right in ten minutes. And now you have to do
Speaker 1: that in forty five seconds thirty seconds. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I could never do it in ten minutes.
Speaker 1: It takes me half an hour to start the show,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm like, hey, good evening. Well when
Speaker 1: I say good evening, and you know, and then it
Speaker 1: takes me.
Speaker 3: Once of the word evening. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: If you look at Renee the card, but he said
Speaker 1: good evening, he was a citress PhD. But the idea
Speaker 1: of no, somehow it's different, I don't know. And maybe
Speaker 1: it's better even I don't know, but it's certainly different.
Speaker 3: I don't watch a lot of comedy, and I don't
Speaker 3: know why that is.
Speaker 1: There's not a comedian in living or dead I would
Speaker 1: pay money you can see.
Speaker 3: Right, right.
Speaker 2: But then I'm like, why am I Maybe I'm the
Speaker 2: person standing on my front line, like, oh, you kids
Speaker 2: don't know what I think about it. Like I used
Speaker 2: to not watch comedy because I didn't want other people's
Speaker 2: jokes to get in my head exactly, And now I
Speaker 2: strangely it's like I'm a retired porn star and I'm
Speaker 2: never gonna have sex again. Like I'm not that compelled
Speaker 2: by it. Like I'm not like, oh, let's watch a
Speaker 2: special I did watch.
Speaker 1: Let me just roll you back to the retirement.
Speaker 3: That's just one for the kids that I did.
Speaker 2: I haven't watched the Gerrod Carmichael special Rathaniel, even though
Speaker 2: I know it was really popular. But I watched his
Speaker 2: reality show, which is like really really wild, and one
Speaker 2: thing that there's a bunch of his comedy in there,
Speaker 2: and he's doing that thing where he's just sitting on
Speaker 2: a chair talking to people, right, and there's there's something
Speaker 2: about like and I feel like you did this too.
Speaker 2: There's something about like letting the air out of the room,
Speaker 2: or there's not the pressure to have three jokes a minute,
Speaker 2: and it is a conversation that also, let's take the
Speaker 2: pressure off the audience too. Oh yeah, now we're just
Speaker 2: going to connect with this guy, not like, well I
Speaker 2: didn't laugh for the last thirty minutes, so I have
Speaker 2: to have another rubbed coke and drown my feelings. Yeah
Speaker 2: that but that that's that Or like tag Natara is
Speaker 2: also very kind of conversationalist, right, that's interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's someone who that's the real deal. But but
Speaker 1: for me, that the idea of stand up it is.
Speaker 1: I don't like even putting the word comedy on.
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I mean, yeah, stand up, stand up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's going to be times when you know,
Speaker 1: no in a club, like if there's if there's you know,
Speaker 1: chicken fingers coming out and you know, and it depends.
Speaker 1: I think. I think sometimes you've got to kind of
Speaker 1: read the audience a little bit and let them find you.
Speaker 1: But it is odd to me.
Speaker 3: That wasn't exciting to me.
Speaker 2: That was an exciting kind of math problem to solve
Speaker 2: walking into a room and seeing where the audience was
Speaker 2: eating them, where they were like versus coming barreling in,
Speaker 2: you know, with you know, your T shirt cannon. You
Speaker 2: know we all did because you know, you're like, I
Speaker 2: got to get this hour ends, I can get my
Speaker 2: money and go back to the hotel and drink my
Speaker 2: oxidized glass of Sauvignon blanc.
Speaker 1: Guitar of.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, oh this is so off pieced.
Speaker 2: Do you remember this was like when I was very
Speaker 2: much like in my baby years that there was this
Speaker 2: infamous video of this guy at the punchline in San
Speaker 2: Francisco who was a guitar comic and he was being
Speaker 2: heckled and everybody was really like on the comic side
Speaker 2: and pissed off at the heckler. But then the heckler
Speaker 2: approached the stage and the guitar comic you just see
Speaker 2: the guitar like rear out of frame.
Speaker 3: And then whack this guy in the head.
Speaker 2: And then it comes back and it's just like the
Speaker 2: neck and a few days he's just creamed this.
Speaker 3: Guy with this guitar.
Speaker 2: It disintegrated the guitar and you hear the audience just go.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I remember like watching that and we, I mean, we
Speaker 2: would laugh about it, and I think the guy was
Speaker 2: I hope the guy was okay, but as like the
Speaker 2: classic like and that's where he lost.
Speaker 1: That's where he lost.
Speaker 3: The audience lost, the audience.
Speaker 1: When you commit an act of violence on one of them.
Speaker 3: It's you're not There's no coming back.
Speaker 1: I don't think there is no no. I had a
Speaker 1: I was doing a show I don't know, because I
Speaker 1: still do stand up.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, do you still do it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do it all the time, because
Speaker 1: it's kind of for me. It's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: learned to play the piano when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: And although I've played in orchestras and I've written scores
Speaker 1: for movies and I do that, I still like to
Speaker 1: when I see a piano and the lunge of the hotel,
Speaker 1: it's kind of my I like it. I like it
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel good. And I was doing
Speaker 1: a show in Texas, I don't know, a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago. A gentleman collapsed, oh geez, and like we
Speaker 1: had to get the paramedics in and the lights go
Speaker 1: up across.
Speaker 3: The excitement I mean not great, but still excitement.
Speaker 1: I mean really, and the guy kind of he gets
Speaker 1: taken out and I say, look, obviously we're going to
Speaker 1: stop the show. And we stopped the show and the
Speaker 1: audience is kind of sitting there and it's weird, and
Speaker 1: I go out in the guy's regain consciousness. That Barnley,
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, it wasn't a bad thing,
Speaker 1: but the paramedics and we'll take you, take you another look,
Speaker 1: but we think you're okay. It's like dehydration or something.
Speaker 1: And it was all right. And I spoke to the
Speaker 1: guy that collapsed. They brought him around. He was in
Speaker 1: a gurney and he said, no, I'm fine. I said, well,
Speaker 1: I'll just go back and finish the show, and he went, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you should. So I went back and I
Speaker 1: was really excited because I thought, how am I going
Speaker 1: to dude?
Speaker 3: This is how am I going to turn this show?
Speaker 2: Like like the the the anxiety and the anticipation of
Speaker 2: like can I make this work?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And it was a great show.
Speaker 3: After that, people must have just been zinging, right.
Speaker 1: They were scared. And then I told him it was
Speaker 1: all right and I talked to the guy. So there's
Speaker 1: the relief relief, and then there's the running joke of
Speaker 1: you know, I pretend to faint because I am, and
Speaker 1: that's what let's talk about him because because you're doing
Speaker 1: a lot of acting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I've been lucky to stay pretty busy.
Speaker 1: And well, see that's the thing with me. I see,
Speaker 1: you are one of the smartest people I have met
Speaker 1: in this time. No, look, it's not a fucking high bar,
Speaker 1: like you are the tallest little person in the circus.
Speaker 2: That's the one with other film of her own assholes.
Speaker 2: She seems smart, but you are.
Speaker 1: I mean that being said, you are one of the
Speaker 1: smartest people have man in this town. And I get
Speaker 1: bored with the acting.
Speaker 2: And you've also created a lot of stuff for yourself.
Speaker 2: I mean, you've written and produced and directed all these films,
Speaker 2: and that's so all consuming that I could see it's
Speaker 2: feeling relatively draining, you know, it's it's.
Speaker 1: It's boring though, I mean, because you've directed movies and
Speaker 1: that that's not No.
Speaker 3: I love directing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, I mean I just directed I think
Speaker 2: my fourteenth episode of television.
Speaker 1: You directing The Criminal Minds and.
Speaker 3: Direct on Criminal Minds. I've directed the Criminal.
Speaker 2: Minds television series show, Yes, the entertainment show. And I've
Speaker 2: directed Walking Dead Fear the Walking Dead, which was a
Speaker 2: really cool experience.
Speaker 1: I like when that is the that Norman Norman reads.
Speaker 3: He's a delightful fellow. He's a great actor.
Speaker 1: He's got that kind of like he's got that something.
Speaker 1: What the fuck is he going to do? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't have that good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I kind of like that and like in
Speaker 1: a sportsperson or like an any artist, story of what
Speaker 1: the Yeah.
Speaker 2: He's also he was an interesting actor as a young person,
Speaker 2: and I think this is true of all actors. So
Speaker 2: I wonder if maybe you'll return to it at some point.
Speaker 2: Is that you get you just get more interesting as
Speaker 2: you get older. I think there were so predisposed or
Speaker 2: so obsessed with youth in Hollywood, but really the actors
Speaker 2: just get interesting once they've like as Niko Costa used
Speaker 2: to say, got fucked and got their heart broken, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Like you need to you need to live.
Speaker 2: And then you see these guys like god, this guy,
Speaker 2: he's doing incredible work in his fifties and sixties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, she's gotten so much more interesting.
Speaker 2: She's working all the time because you know, like stuff's
Speaker 2: happen to them.
Speaker 1: Well, it depends, though, on what was your currency at
Speaker 1: the beginning, because I wondered, this is something that I
Speaker 1: thought about. Now, this is going to sound a little weird.
Speaker 1: Let's stay with me a little bit, all right, So
Speaker 1: you are very beautiful. Oh no, but you are a
Speaker 1: very beautiful looking person. And I think that it's particularly
Speaker 1: when you are a young performer, like when you were
Speaker 1: doing this suit. You know, it's like, wow, look at this.
Speaker 1: It's like a supermodel and she's funny, you know. And
Speaker 1: I wonder if that is because I think for a
Speaker 1: lot of young performers because like most people, when they're young,
Speaker 1: they're cut mean, I mean, as cute as you, but
Speaker 1: but young and cute. When that ncy goes away and
Speaker 1: it hasn't for you, but you start to think that
Speaker 1: that maybe I need to have that all the time.
Speaker 1: I think that's why people end up mutilating themselves.
Speaker 2: Mutilating themselves. Yes, strange, it's like an alien race.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And then it becomes the tempo for everybody where, like
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, if you have a normal face
Speaker 2: like you, you are the one who's an outlier, which
Speaker 2: I think is so odd. I mean, I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: lucky I have the benefit of genetics. Like my grandmother
Speaker 2: was just a young looking lady.
Speaker 3: My mom's she's eighty.
Speaker 2: She looks like she's maybe fifty five. Like I just
Speaker 2: I just hit the jackpot. Yeah yeah, But also that's evident.
Speaker 2: But I also feel like, you know, it's a constant
Speaker 2: reminding yourself that your currency. And it's easy for me
Speaker 2: to say that your currency are not your looks. You know,
Speaker 2: I think Hollywood for men and for women, but obviously
Speaker 2: more for women is so much about youth and how
Speaker 2: thin you are and how but you know, like your
Speaker 2: body is just carrying their fucking brain around, and the
Speaker 2: brain is the most important thing, right the brain. This
Speaker 2: is the thing that's gonna keep you vital and connected
Speaker 2: for the rest of your life. And this kind of
Speaker 2: obsession with like I don't know to me. And I
Speaker 2: think because I was a stand up you know, and
Speaker 2: when I was there weren't a lot I mean it
Speaker 2: wasn't like I started in the thirties, but there weren't
Speaker 2: a million women doing it at that time, so you know,
Speaker 2: you just had to nut up right and and you know,
Speaker 2: I never that was never my currency. I wasn't gonna
Speaker 2: get there out there like a half shirt in the miniskirt.
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, this is a job of
Speaker 2: the mind. So maybe I was lucky that.
Speaker 1: You see male and female stand ups. No, they're like
Speaker 1: they're really good looks.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's that one guy who looks like an
Speaker 2: underwear model or whatever.
Speaker 1: Women who are like oh wow, right, and who was
Speaker 1: actually who did you watch?
Speaker 3: Did you watch the Tom Brady Rose?
Speaker 1: I didn't see you all of that so a bit.
Speaker 2: That's the the first time I've watched stand up in
Speaker 2: a very long time, even though it wasn't really stand up.
Speaker 2: And there was the one Nikki Glazier.
Speaker 3: Nicki Glazer set was like a perfect sech.
Speaker 1: I mean she's really really really.
Speaker 2: Really really funny and she's very glamorous, which also always
Speaker 2: feels a little countertuitive, but she killed it. And then
Speaker 2: Sam j like the two the best sets of the
Speaker 2: night were like these two women, which was just great
Speaker 2: to see, you know what I mean, Yeah, it was
Speaker 2: really great to watch.
Speaker 1: I've always kind of like I remember thinking right about
Speaker 1: the time, but twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, it was one
Speaker 1: time when I thought, you know, what the world really
Speaker 1: is lacking right now is Joan Rivers? Like because I
Speaker 1: feel like Joan was a real counter way.
Speaker 2: She was and she was a constant right and she
Speaker 2: was just a machine.
Speaker 3: She was lovely lady. I got to know her like
Speaker 3: late in life, and.
Speaker 2: She she was wow because she was such an institution.
Speaker 1: I loved there was a huge fan of her and
Speaker 1: I never met her.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was The weird thing is because I worked in
Speaker 1: Late Night and Joan had this big fallen out with
Speaker 1: Johnny Carson and Peter Lasally and so they were I
Speaker 1: was like, let's get John Rivers on the show and
Speaker 1: they were like, no.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, You're like grow up. Also, like how long
Speaker 2: ago was that pullet together?
Speaker 1: Everybody was mad. It was like they and it was
Speaker 1: kind of weird. There was a couple of people like that,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, why can't we have them on
Speaker 1: the show, And they're like wow, because you know.
Speaker 3: Because of something that happened in nineteen eighty nine and
Speaker 3: it wasn't even me.
Speaker 1: But know what was interesting is that later on, if
Speaker 1: I'd have thought about it, oh yeah, fuck it.
Speaker 2: But you just forget, you know, and you're caught up
Speaker 2: in kind of the gears of the machine sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1: I think they were a little concerned as well, because
Speaker 1: when I first started and Late Night, they said, who
Speaker 1: do you want on the show as your first guest.
Speaker 1: I said, I would like Kurt wont to get junior
Speaker 1: first guy. They were like, no, that's.
Speaker 3: Not going to happen, absolutely not.
Speaker 1: You'll have David Dakovny like everyone else's hell yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and that was a smart guy. Also tell everybody, as
Speaker 1: it turned out, you can write a bit. Yeah, that's right,
Speaker 1: he said. He have you written books yet?
Speaker 3: I have. I've done two. I did two.
Speaker 1: Bucks, I've read them both.
Speaker 3: I just you just wanted to make sure I remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna because you read mine.
Speaker 3: I have, I have fred All.
Speaker 2: I just but I watched a movie of yours relatively recently.
Speaker 2: Was it one where you go to a castle and Kethy?
Speaker 3: Yes, listen, I just watched that one recently.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. I'm going to tell you something,
Speaker 1: and I defy you. I defy you to disagree with me. Right,
Speaker 1: that's much better than you think it's going to be.
Speaker 1: That movie. You look at that movie like, oh.
Speaker 3: Man, I've got to see this, and you're like, really
Speaker 3: not that bad.
Speaker 2: I love I love that You're like, like just the
Speaker 2: narrative of the acquittal of your own work, because I mean,
Speaker 2: it didn't suck as much as you thought it was.
Speaker 2: I mean, I find you to be a riveting player,
Speaker 2: like I always like watching you, and Kathy Lee Gifford
Speaker 2: is consistently Kathy Lee Gifford.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, she Have.
Speaker 1: You met Kenny?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I mean I feel like I must have done that
Speaker 2: show like way back in the day, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? That era of daytime TV has ended right
Speaker 2: like that, very I don't want to say strange, but
Speaker 2: like a very kind of arch kind of Hey, everybody region.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Like that, like that, that era,
Speaker 3: it seems to happen.
Speaker 1: We just used to be in the record books for
Speaker 1: being the man who was on TV.
Speaker 3: Most long the longest.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but none of his record's been smashed a
Speaker 1: million times by just like kids who film themselves on phone.
Speaker 1: So it's like it doesn't it doesn't mean a TikTok's
Speaker 1: destroyed them home. I don't do the tickety talk. I've
Speaker 1: got a tickety talk. Yeah, hold on to it for
Speaker 1: songs again. Yeah it goes away. Yeah, yeah, it's gone away.
Speaker 2: Right, who knows? It's so interesting. I see why this
Speaker 2: whole thing is happening with TikTok. But I it's it
Speaker 2: seems strangely Unamerican. And I'm not saying that critically or
Speaker 2: non critically. I'm just saying it's very odd for a
Speaker 2: capitalist government to ban a giant corporation, Like, I don't
Speaker 2: get it, really, yeah, I don't. So I don't think
Speaker 2: it's going to hold to take.
Speaker 1: No, I think it's going to be there's some I
Speaker 1: don't know if you're aware of this, but there's some
Speaker 1: pretty good lawyers in this country.
Speaker 2: They are just salivating over. But it will go on
Speaker 2: for a decade. You know.
Speaker 3: By that time, the kids will invent something else they were.
Speaker 1: They're hanging onto this until Harry and Meghan did to
Speaker 1: get divorced. That's the big next legal opportunity is like
Speaker 1: can we get some of that sweet royal family money?
Speaker 3: Can we pull it back? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: But the I kind of it's kind of weird to
Speaker 1: me though, because I feel this could in one and
Speaker 1: one part of the the like the zeitgeist, I feel
Speaker 1: kind of disconnected from it, and then the other part
Speaker 1: I kind of love that I'm disconnected from it. I
Speaker 1: kind of I am the liberation of like you can
Speaker 1: be in your own world and you don't have to.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm where you are, Like, I feel like
Speaker 2: the unique nature of where we are with social media
Speaker 2: is that for the first time in human history, we
Speaker 2: are essentially and I know, not truly, but essentially connected
Speaker 2: with everybody else in the world right in a way
Speaker 2: that we never have been before, you know, I mean
Speaker 2: in our lifetimes. Like email was invented, the Internet was invented, right,
Speaker 2: Everything that feels like so fundamental to our existence right
Speaker 2: now is relatively new, and so the idea and I
Speaker 2: was always saying earlier about you know, something like Twitter,
Speaker 2: driving the airb Spring, driving, Black Lives Matter, driving me
Speaker 2: to driving, these these global movements that affected people all
Speaker 2: over the world and literally in a lot of ways
Speaker 2: improved their lives, like you know, the even.
Speaker 4: And had rivers been here, then we would have also
Speaker 4: had great jokes, like what we needed was punchlines for
Speaker 4: the Arab women demonstrating and driving without face, driving without
Speaker 4: their head scars.
Speaker 2: We really needed Joan to have a head scar joke
Speaker 2: in there, but that that we're in a unique time
Speaker 2: and to say to yourself, I'm going to opt out.
Speaker 2: You're only just going back to the way human existence
Speaker 2: was twenty years ago. I mean it's not you know,
Speaker 2: you're not living in a cave. You know, most people,
Speaker 2: for the history of human existence couldn't fucking put something
Speaker 2: on their phone and then have a guy and you
Speaker 2: know Rush or South America read it. It's just this
Speaker 2: is a new tool. It is a new tool, and
Speaker 2: I think it's not critical for your for your personal
Speaker 2: and like happiness, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like no, And I think it's a it's a little
Speaker 1: bit like electricity or a knife. I mean, it can
Speaker 1: kill you or make your tools. It's like it's it's
Speaker 1: how you use it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I stopped.
Speaker 2: I find social media to be like incredibly burdensome, Like
Speaker 2: I uh, it's a tool that I started using so
Speaker 2: I could like promote my stand up shows of course,
Speaker 2: and you know, promote my TV shows. And it's nice
Speaker 2: to connect with you and my alcohol and my cocka
Speaker 2: God bless you. My brand new Coca company lock and
Speaker 2: feed with the new Margarita.
Speaker 1: You can pre order it at lasophy dot com organic market.
Speaker 2: It's the only it's not the only organic margraine on
Speaker 2: the market, but it is the best tasting, ready to
Speaker 2: drink margareta.
Speaker 3: That one I'm going to work. I just take my
Speaker 3: word for it.
Speaker 2: It'll never tastetric, punchy, arresting, a little arresty, but it
Speaker 2: really is very delicious. But so for a little while
Speaker 2: when I was going to launch the company, I did
Speaker 2: with with kids do what kids do it?
Speaker 3: You know, like Beyonce does you know Donald Clover.
Speaker 2: A well, you know, yes, I know, but when the
Speaker 2: kids are already even it's the Swift Taylor, I don't
Speaker 2: know if Taylor Swift did this.
Speaker 3: Woman.
Speaker 2: You you wipe your you wipe your feed right, you
Speaker 2: remove your feed so there's nothing when people go to
Speaker 2: see you online, you have nothing in your feed, and
Speaker 2: then they're like, oh, like it's like a watch this space.
Speaker 3: Kind of move.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody would.
Speaker 2: They might do well, since you don't have a space,
Speaker 2: it'd be hard to watch the space.
Speaker 1: But may have my spaces on my space.
Speaker 2: Everybody, please go back to Craig's Tumblr, pa agency what
Speaker 2: he's got.
Speaker 3: Going on there. And so I had this.
Speaker 2: Freedom because I was waiting for the company to launch,
Speaker 2: where I didn't I wasn't posting, and oh my god,
Speaker 2: it was like skipping down the street with no shirt on.
Speaker 2: Like I loved not not feeling obligated to look at
Speaker 2: my social media and now I'm back to doing it,
Speaker 2: and it's a big fat pain in the center of
Speaker 2: my house.
Speaker 1: It has I have some experience with it, and it
Speaker 1: has for me all of the hallmarks of that of
Speaker 1: how it makes you feel. I'm doing this and I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it. It makes it does something
Speaker 1: for me that I that I kind of like, but
Speaker 1: it makes me feel kind of I resent it at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 3: I can't pull my eyes away.
Speaker 2: I'm mad at myself for doing it, but I can't
Speaker 2: put it down, and I'm wasting my time.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, well, here's the wasting time. Thing I
Speaker 1: think is like, I wonder you've written two books. I've
Speaker 1: written three. But I'm older than you, right, And also
Speaker 1: I don't have a tequila company company. But I wonder
Speaker 1: how many scripts and books and paintings and songs are
Speaker 1: not happening because of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what what what can secures haven't been invented?
Speaker 2: How much further along we'd be in space travel if
Speaker 2: people weren't looking at cat videos.
Speaker 1: Even though I love I do like a kid, I
Speaker 1: kind of.
Speaker 2: During COVID, it was a COVID and the Trump presidency
Speaker 2: and the world felt like it was unraveling.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The only thing that kept me from like losing my
Speaker 2: mind mind was just cat and dog videos.
Speaker 3: I hate.
Speaker 2: I wish it was something more sophisticated than that, but
Speaker 2: it was like a full It was like a good
Speaker 2: thirty minutes every day of just looking at like cats
Speaker 2: jumping off of tinfoil.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, touching each other in the face.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Or the dog with the Have you seen the dog
Speaker 2: with the three card money says it the dog it's
Speaker 2: a bolder Retriever, kicks the wrong cup and fixed it
Speaker 2: and then there's only one snack under there.
Speaker 1: You've seen the one where the border collie uses a
Speaker 1: little bridge to go over a river, but the labrador
Speaker 1: comes something just swims under it.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen that one, but I will be googling
Speaker 3: it immediately.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, stoopid like he watches them.
Speaker 1: That's that's not a thing.
Speaker 3: It's river.
Speaker 2: I mean, like that was the stuff that I guess
Speaker 2: made me feel at in a human time, like purely human.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is something deeply delightful that wasn't created.
Speaker 4: It contains no narrative and no I know it's not
Speaker 4: driving the human experience for anyone.
Speaker 2: They know.
Speaker 1: That's why. I think it's kind of like it's sugar
Speaker 1: is the ashes, and I like that it's here, I guess.
Speaker 1: But the truth is it'll kill you. It'll kill your brain. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. Yeah. Do you remember a gentleman called Drew Carry.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 2: I'm quite familiar with him. I actually saw him relatively recently.
Speaker 2: I saw him at the super.
Speaker 1: Bowl talk about someone growing an of themselves.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Really he has really like just expanded
Speaker 3: into space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, in a positive in a pants way, no, no,
Speaker 2: not a pantsway, and like an intellectual, self actualized way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's such a it's such an amazing generate. You watched
Speaker 1: because I you know, I started working with Drew right
Speaker 1: back when you were on the Drew Carry Show.
Speaker 3: Right, I was never on the Drew Carry show.
Speaker 1: Who's line?
Speaker 3: Whose line?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I took over for him whose line? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But but you were I think you were part of
Speaker 1: the improv.
Speaker 2: I was. I did a lot, I mean a lot
Speaker 2: of stand a lot of improv, I feel like, and
Speaker 2: I went on his our paths crossed a bunch before
Speaker 2: whose line?
Speaker 3: But you know, it's all a blur.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I hear. It's like when people talk
Speaker 1: about you, did you ever watch BoJack?
Speaker 3: I did. I actually did a couple episodes of Jack.
Speaker 3: All right, Yeah, what did you do? I played.
Speaker 2: Aquafina. She was a singing talking dolphin. Oh yeah, dirty, dirty,
Speaker 2: wrapping dolphins.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I loved bu Jack because I felt like, because I
Speaker 1: was back in the nineties, I was a famous TV show.
Speaker 3: Famous talk show TV I was on I was I
Speaker 3: was on a TV show in the nineties.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it was so if you get the combination
Speaker 1: of Curby your enthusiasm, BoJack Horseman, and Ray Donovan, that's
Speaker 1: what it's like to live in Eli maybe with a
Speaker 1: sprinkling of modern.
Speaker 3: Fast that is fair that night. That's a fair assessment.
Speaker 1: It's like it's dangerous and awful.
Speaker 2: Dangerous and strange. Yeah, And if you don't work very
Speaker 2: odd it's just like the Internet. If you don't work very,
Speaker 2: very hard to parse what's real from what isn't, you
Speaker 2: can get caught up in like the bizarro.
Speaker 3: World of Hollywood, such.
Speaker 1: A provencial time you haven't moved out.
Speaker 3: It's a company town. It's a company town.
Speaker 1: It's so weird. Man, you come in and you like,
Speaker 1: I coming in from the airport the other day and
Speaker 1: you see a bunch of like billboards for sure as
Speaker 1: that you know are gonna die, and nobody else in
Speaker 1: the country has haird of them, and the actors and
Speaker 1: the producers driving by going well, the billboards up.
Speaker 3: We're just talking to ourselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, buddy, of I told me the other day,
Speaker 2: Ah Man, I can't remember what I was talking about
Speaker 2: talking to you. He's like, yeah, so if you have
Speaker 2: a movie coming out, because we're talking about this movie
Speaker 2: that was really really good but.
Speaker 3: Didn't didn't do well. It was a great movie and
Speaker 3: it it didn't open, was in the.
Speaker 1: Big teas the nineties. I feel that way about that
Speaker 1: movie to this day. It is a great movie and
Speaker 1: it does.
Speaker 2: It might have been it might have been a monkey Man,
Speaker 2: which I loved. Monkey Man is a great movie.
Speaker 1: I haven't even heard.
Speaker 2: Oh see, there you go, Depatel. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: I love Batal. He wrote it, he produced it, he's
Speaker 2: in it, he directed, I think, and it's he directed
Speaker 2: it and it's like a kind of a South Asian
Speaker 2: John Wick.
Speaker 3: It's amazing. It's an amazing movie.
Speaker 1: It's so awesome.
Speaker 2: I loved it, and I did fine, Like it should
Speaker 2: have made way more money than it did. Everybody goes
Speaker 2: see it, it's so great, and.
Speaker 1: Why not have a cocktail?
Speaker 2: Why why not watch it at home stream it criminal
Speaker 2: minds as an appetizer as you enjoylosophy, a glass of
Speaker 2: delicious organic margarite hilosophy, and then watch a monkey man
Speaker 2: so and then after that, if you're still up, you
Speaker 2: can stream all fourteen seasons of Archer on Netflix. Right.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I forgot you were.
Speaker 2: You know, you know what everything else to do. But
Speaker 2: so I was talking to this guy, and I was like,
Speaker 2: this movie should have done much better. It's a great fit.
Speaker 2: Like sometimes you're like, I know why that movie didn't open,
Speaker 2: and sometimes you like that movie sucked and it opened
Speaker 2: for all these other reasons. But this movie should have
Speaker 2: made a lot more money. And he said, and we
Speaker 2: were talking about the fact that people didn't know that
Speaker 2: it was coming out. He said, well, I got to
Speaker 2: tell you something. As he worked at the studio, He's like,
Speaker 2: studios will got a billboard directly down the street from where.
Speaker 3: The actor or the director lives.
Speaker 2: So that they think they spend a bunch of money
Speaker 2: on the campaign and legacy. Oh there's my movie on
Speaker 2: that billboard and they've done it nowhere else in the world.
Speaker 2: And so it's just a town that's just talking to
Speaker 2: itself about itself all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and nobody knows what the fuck.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. And I think that's the reason why you
Speaker 1: see people mutilate themselves, particularly actors. You know, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: I have to be young. Yeah, well you kind of don't.
Speaker 2: Not only not only don't you, but it's impossible. Yeah,
Speaker 2: time is coming for you. You look like a melted candle.
Speaker 2: Relax yourself, like like we would have just enjoyed seeing
Speaker 2: you be a human being. But now all we're fixated
Speaker 2: on is this mutilation, this self mutilation, which you're not.
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, no, Now I'm going to start with
Speaker 1: my testicles.
Speaker 3: Well, as long as we don't have to look at them.
Speaker 1: Well that what I feel is, first of all, they're
Speaker 1: mostly concealed.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Secondly, this is just for you.
Speaker 3: You're just doing this for me. This is some you time.
Speaker 3: And it's so they're testicles.
Speaker 1: If they bought it, who cares? Are you even gonna know?
Speaker 3: Do you watch have you ever seen that show? Watched?
Speaker 1: Oh? God, I can. I'm too squeamish. I've tried, and
Speaker 1: then like I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: It's it's just like an orgy of of like psychological
Speaker 2: I don't even know what the right word is, like
Speaker 2: just incredible psych Like it's like the psychological self injury
Speaker 2: paired with the physical self injury.
Speaker 3: It's one of those things that I would watch on
Speaker 3: the road and you put it on, it's like a marathon,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: And then and these people that just you know, that
Speaker 2: insane body dysmorphia and they are absolutely confident that like
Speaker 2: having like a chin shaped like you know, like a
Speaker 2: pip and apple or whatever, it's going to like change
Speaker 2: their lives.
Speaker 3: And it's a bummer man.
Speaker 2: And you really think that that show should just be
Speaker 2: people come in to get mutilated, and then it's like
Speaker 2: a bait and switch. You think you're gonna talk to
Speaker 2: these plastic surgeons and then instead, like a psychologist just
Speaker 2: comes in. You sit down and talk about yourself, not
Speaker 2: the plastic. Lets talk about your mother. Yeah, yeah, let's
Speaker 2: talk because it's all with your mother. Also have lips
Speaker 2: like pneumatic tiahs. It's so it's crazy.
Speaker 1: It is a little have you ever seen the show.
Speaker 1: The kind of counterweight to that is the show on
Speaker 1: Channel four in Britain called Naked Attraction.
Speaker 2: I have, First of all, people who are listening, I
Speaker 2: know you guys love Craig and he's a delightful and
Speaker 2: very sophisticated mind.
Speaker 3: But Europeans are insane. This show is insane.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: First of all, it's it's it's like see and then
Speaker 2: also Americans are also insane because there's this Naked Attraction show.
Speaker 2: It's essentially mostly men. I guess there's men and women,
Speaker 2: but a lot of men women. You see three people,
Speaker 2: it's kind of like a dating game, but you see
Speaker 2: three people.
Speaker 3: From the neck down.
Speaker 1: They're fully no, they're revealed from the feet up, so
Speaker 1: it goes up the legs and then they're naked behind
Speaker 1: the screens and it's kind of like the dating game,
Speaker 1: and it goes up and then you see their knees
Speaker 1: and then you see there. You get all the way
Speaker 1: to the job, Get the janital, You get the job,
Speaker 1: get the ganital, you get boobs, you go up to it. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: after after what you've you've been passed that.
Speaker 3: Exactly. I don't I don't want to have the steak
Speaker 3: after I've had this.
Speaker 1: Straight to the.
Speaker 2: But but I mean the American version of that is
Speaker 2: naked and afraid, which you know, Americans have to make
Speaker 2: it even more extreme. Like you in the safe studio,
Speaker 2: you're not going to get a bug up your whole,
Speaker 2: but in America, we want you to get bitten by
Speaker 2: a scorpion directly at the center.
Speaker 3: Of your taint. Well you see that.
Speaker 1: You know, Look, everyone's got their cank and I don't
Speaker 1: know how you found out about mine, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: So I like it center the center of center, which
Speaker 1: is not it's not a huge area.
Speaker 3: There's precisions, precision scorpions.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like top gun.
Speaker 3: They only exist in a very small area of the
Speaker 3: South America.
Speaker 1: This precision scorpion miniature Tom Cruise has to fly a
Speaker 1: scorpion up your pats and exactly.
Speaker 2: The right point in It's like Star Wars, State on target,
Speaker 2: stay on target.
Speaker 1: Well, see, we're keeping a classy which I think.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what we were supposed to do today,
Speaker 3: but I'm enjoy immensely.
Speaker 1: I don't have an agenda. They when I was starting
Speaker 1: the podcast, they said to me, what do you want
Speaker 1: to do. And I said, well, I just want to
Speaker 1: talk to people I want to talk to Yeah. They
Speaker 1: went all right, they said, but can you can you
Speaker 1: do a thing? I said, well, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do a thing.
Speaker 3: Don't you remember the robot. He's not going to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do the thing like I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do a kind of like name five cats. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you know, let's you know, it's fucking BuzzFeed started
Speaker 1: that show, you know, six celebrities who are taller than.
Speaker 2: It's also pretty much dead. I think it's like one
Speaker 2: AI AI robot and a guy.
Speaker 1: That have you got the EI on your phone?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I refuse, And in that way you should feel you
Speaker 3: have company. I'm I.
Speaker 2: I use technology as a tool, but I'm strangely becoming
Speaker 2: more of a leddite as I get older, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm not letting it in and I have all the
Speaker 2: tracking things turned off on my phone and I don't
Speaker 2: want to.
Speaker 3: Oh you use it.
Speaker 1: I don't use it. I downloaded a couple of days
Speaker 1: ago chat GPT. Yeah, and I've been asking the questions
Speaker 1: about God, oh wow, it's fascinating.
Speaker 3: So you're just trying to stump the chump as well.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a little bit I'm trying to sort
Speaker 1: of perform a kind of weird my version of the
Speaker 1: Turing test on it. But I've been asking the questions
Speaker 1: about the deity and about the idea of a god,
Speaker 1: and it's it's fascinating because really, what it is, I think,
Speaker 1: is just Google. It just googles things. It's it's Google.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 3: You could do it with your own face. It's just
Speaker 3: gging a little harder than you.
Speaker 1: It's just like it makes Google feel a little more intimate,
Speaker 1: but it's not really already.
Speaker 2: Has like an AI driven kind of like a curated
Speaker 2: or an assemblage result now, so like if you ask
Speaker 2: a question, it used to be that you get pages,
Speaker 2: but now what you get at the top is that
Speaker 2: Google looks at all the answers and then writes you
Speaker 2: a compiled answer based on Yeah.
Speaker 1: I do like that function, right, but but yeah, I
Speaker 1: tell you what I know. It's in San Francis. You're
Speaker 1: talking about the I is the cabs with no drivers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, San Francisco is just that. I mean, it's wild.
Speaker 2: I know, I know we have them here too, we
Speaker 2: have never here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're here. There.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's la so there's like three
Speaker 2: and they're spread out very very far and why But yeah,
Speaker 2: San Francisco is just going to be like you know that,
Speaker 2: what's that? What's that movie? The Minority Report? Very soon
Speaker 2: just people rise cars.
Speaker 4: But the.
Speaker 1: Was I was kind of like doing a bit about it,
Speaker 1: and I was talking to do you know Carrie Byron
Speaker 1: from MythBusters?
Speaker 3: But I know the show. Yes, she's really.
Speaker 1: Cool and she's up in the city.
Speaker 3: I think like the whole MythBusters team is up, most
Speaker 3: of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there, for my money, maybe the greatest show
Speaker 1: ever on American.
Speaker 3: Clas not agree with you?
Speaker 1: Is such a great, believable show. I don't know why.
Speaker 3: And explosions, science, explosions and fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, Well explosions you've ready to go.
Speaker 2: That's fine, That's that's what science plus explosions equals equals.
Speaker 3: Come on, kids, it was.
Speaker 1: It was the greatest show. And I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: my guess is pretty expensive, but it was a great show.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, it was expensive.
Speaker 2: And I don't even think I know the narrative, but
Speaker 2: I think one of the guys and his name is
Speaker 2: not in my hair right now, passed away.
Speaker 1: Great, Yeah, Grant got them. But Grant he built the
Speaker 1: rule boat on my late night show.
Speaker 2: Do you know that?
Speaker 3: No, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: That was a friend of mine and he said to
Speaker 1: me it was actually when Twitter was fun. And he said,
Speaker 1: if you can get me one hundred thousand Twitter followers,
Speaker 1: I'll build you a robot for your late night show.
Speaker 3: See Twitter used to be great, right, So that was fun.
Speaker 1: So I tweeted out, all right, we need Grant to
Speaker 1: get one hundred thousand follows and twitters like forty minutes.
Speaker 1: And he had even like gout it so and he
Speaker 1: had he was Robot.
Speaker 3: Wars guy and he built just so awesome and he used.
Speaker 1: To commend every month and maintain him.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 2: Twitter was also a place where you could just if
Speaker 2: you rolled over the middle of the night and you
Speaker 2: were bored, you could write a fart joke and everybody
Speaker 2: would laugh at your fart joke.
Speaker 3: It used to be a really, really fun place to
Speaker 3: just screw around. Yeah, that's dead. I think we'll have
Speaker 3: msk ruins everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah he can't. Well, I'll tell you what. That fucking
Speaker 1: truck that's that's bullshit. I don't care like that's I
Speaker 1: do it. Lou Black I saw doing.
Speaker 3: Run do a bit about it.
Speaker 2: It's like a boat. You know, it looks like an
Speaker 2: amphibious car as what that thing looks.
Speaker 1: You know, it went straight to stonewashed Dannim in like
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It was like, oh my god, yescause it was emerging
Speaker 3: from the assembly line.
Speaker 2: It's like it went straight cool de Laurian, Oh cool
Speaker 2: Lan immediate.
Speaker 1: Glorian's kind of done the reverse reach around and now
Speaker 1: it's almost ironically cool. But I mean, maybe in twenty
Speaker 1: five years Elon Musk goes to jail for trying to
Speaker 1: keep his company up by sailing cocaine, then you might
Speaker 1: have a story.
Speaker 3: That could be pretty cool. I mean, I wouldn't I
Speaker 3: wouldn't rule it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyway, I was talking to carry Byron in San
Speaker 1: Francisco and I was talking about the driverless car and
Speaker 1: I said I was kind of like being shitty about it,
Speaker 1: and she went, let me tell you something. I use
Speaker 1: them all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of people do. I'm not going to
Speaker 3: do that, but yeah, I said.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it. She said, you know what,
Speaker 1: I've never got in a driverless car and had the
Speaker 1: guy hand on me asked me for my number. Be creepy?
Speaker 1: Is he getting near my house?
Speaker 3: All that stuff?
Speaker 2: Is he intoxicated? This place smells like the car smells
Speaker 2: like weed or listening to nekel Back. I can't can't
Speaker 2: be trusted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Huba steink. This This is not right. Huba stank.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I mean I kind of get it.
Speaker 1: And then I said, but they're tracking you in the
Speaker 1: in the car.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's too late. We're tracked.
Speaker 1: That's the thing.
Speaker 2: That's the thing that you and I and our curmudgeonly
Speaker 2: anti technology positions need to take in. And really just
Speaker 2: we know a lot of we're boned. They've been tracking
Speaker 2: us for a really long time now. And the whole
Speaker 2: idea that you're going to get off the grid is
Speaker 2: just it's it's past, man. That opportunity is over.
Speaker 1: The good thing is that all of the behavior that
Speaker 1: I exhibited, the better off grid is well in the
Speaker 1: rear view mirror.
Speaker 2: For me, anyway, Like if they want to, God, you
Speaker 2: got your dirt done before cell phone camp was like
Speaker 2: by n ninety two, I was like, you can watch
Speaker 2: me whatever you want.
Speaker 1: All I'm doing is going to whole food.
Speaker 2: Man, you want to dig up some records of what
Speaker 2: I've done, You're gonna do a library and look at
Speaker 2: a micro first, right.
Speaker 1: That's right. You're going to have to go to the
Speaker 1: Glasgow Police Department and talk, you know, and give cash
Speaker 1: money to a target.
Speaker 2: You got know the doing decimal system to look up
Speaker 2: the stuff I did back in the eighties.
Speaker 1: Well, the truth is though I wasn't I mean, it
Speaker 1: wasn't even I was doing anything. It was just embarrassing, shitty,
Speaker 1: fall down drunk behavior. Yeah, I waiting for kids.
Speaker 2: Know that.
Speaker 1: You know, you you do something stupid or you fail
Speaker 1: as a stand up right when you've got it. If
Speaker 1: you want to be a stand up, you have to fail.
Speaker 1: It's part of the Process's.
Speaker 2: There's no way around it, right, It is part of it.
Speaker 2: I mean like literally, to get funny, you must bomb you, yes,
Speaker 2: you must yes.
Speaker 1: And now that I mean bombing is is kind of
Speaker 1: like it's so an integral part of the process. If
Speaker 1: you remove that and they kind of have to, or
Speaker 1: if you bomb and it stays and around forever.
Speaker 2: Ever forever, or or just the guys that are doing
Speaker 2: those like stupid lazy, bad jokes, you know, the ones
Speaker 2: that like every well not every because a lot of
Speaker 2: young comedians are trying to lean into intellectualism or trying
Speaker 2: to be original. But the guys that are just doing
Speaker 2: the racist stuff for the sex oft stuff, the fart stuff,
Speaker 2: you know, and and ed is memorial forever, and then
Speaker 2: you know, now you're thirty, you're like, well that guy
Speaker 2: was an asshole. Well you know what, that's the That's
Speaker 2: the only guy anyone's ever going to know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I feel about writing books though, because
Speaker 1: I wrote I've written some stuff, and I know you've
Speaker 1: written two books. I've read them both, and yeah, the
Speaker 1: that I wrote some stuff down when I was younger
Speaker 1: and I look at.
Speaker 3: It now, I go, yeah, it's funny. I don't know
Speaker 3: that I and I haven't looked at my stuff in
Speaker 3: a long time.
Speaker 2: But because I was thinking about republishing my first book,
Speaker 2: like the rits just reverted to me and I'll say,
Speaker 2: maybe I'll do an maybe I'll turn into it. Oh
Speaker 2: you look like you know, like rewrite it and re
Speaker 2: release it, right, And I was like, I don't think
Speaker 2: I have anything there that like I would cringe over.
Speaker 2: There's just like a lot of like just simplistic thinking.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was a long time ago, right Like
Speaker 2: I was just like not that sophisticated, do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean?
Speaker 1: It's a snapshow who you are in the moment. I
Speaker 1: mean the problem is if if you get too many
Speaker 1: snapshots that it starts to look like that's who you are,
Speaker 1: right right? You know if I write a book when
Speaker 1: I'm thirty years old and then it's sixty two nearly,
Speaker 1: I feel differently.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you've you've experienced a bunch of stuff. You
Speaker 3: are different. You are a different person. You're a different
Speaker 3: assembly of cells.
Speaker 1: But you know what one's the real one?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then you got the problem of well time does
Speaker 1: it fold?
Speaker 3: Or this is a question for the AI in your phone?
Speaker 3: This is a question chat?
Speaker 1: Yeah you wait, chat time?
Speaker 3: Phone? You were you were?
Speaker 2: You were in the prime cycle of like introspection, right
Speaker 2: like this is the part of your life where you
Speaker 2: start thinking about what does it all mean? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm going to ask you a big question since
Speaker 2: this is apparently a big question hour did you look
Speaker 2: at the web telescope.
Speaker 3: Pictures like the pictures of space?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That really fucked me up. Like that was that was
Speaker 2: the thing that really put me into what does it
Speaker 2: all mean? Headspace for quite a bit of time, because
Speaker 2: there were they were beautiful.
Speaker 3: They were like the.
Speaker 2: Most kind of detailed pictures of space we've ever seen.
Speaker 2: And there was one of them, and it's got something
Speaker 2: like three hundred thousand galaxies in this one image right right,
Speaker 2: and they're pointing them out to you, these little worlds,
Speaker 2: these old spirals, different colors, different shapes, different sizes, and
Speaker 2: they said, so, within this one photo, there are three
Speaker 2: hundred thousand galaxies like our galaxy that are visible. And
Speaker 2: this is the size this area of space is one
Speaker 2: grain of sand held at arm's length, right, That's how
Speaker 2: much we're seeing those many galaxies in that part of space.
Speaker 3: And then of course there's those infinite grains of sand.
Speaker 2: We could be looking at any part of space and
Speaker 2: see another three hundred thousand galaxies filled of billions of stars.
Speaker 1: It could not be there because it's taken so much
Speaker 1: time for the light to get here. You're million years.
Speaker 2: Exactly, and so like, I mean, so then this little
Speaker 2: puny computer that's telling you about whether God exists, I mean, this.
Speaker 3: Is just wow, some kind of stage play you do.
Speaker 1: You do come with me? And this is this is
Speaker 1: a good question because I watched with.
Speaker 3: That's why you should drink lots of drink to Grock.
Speaker 1: But here's the But here's the thing. I when one
Speaker 1: of my boys was about ten years old. You watch
Speaker 1: a lot of YouTube videos at the universe and you know,
Speaker 1: lego stuff. So I'm not in this universe thing and
Speaker 1: it was only usual. I can't remember what it was,
Speaker 1: but it was. It was as you describe. You know
Speaker 1: about the trillions and billions and things, but mostly what
Speaker 1: our the observable universe is is nothing.
Speaker 3: It's just emptiness, right, black hole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like so as much mass as you can see,
Speaker 2: but within between that mass is just nothingness, infinite nothing,
Speaker 2: that's infinite.
Speaker 1: Nothing.
Speaker 3: Oh, I have to lie down.
Speaker 1: And so the best I've ever felt in meditation or
Speaker 1: in any kind of God contemplation, or quietly in a church,
Speaker 1: or in a or in a field, or or in
Speaker 1: a in a moment of face down in a damp puddle,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, whatever thing is when the scorpion is
Speaker 1: the right center of the day, whenever you it's always
Speaker 1: about silence. And then I think most of the universe
Speaker 1: is silence. And there's a quote in a there's there's
Speaker 1: a book Bible. There's a lot of bad stuff in it,
Speaker 1: there's a little weird stuff in it, but there's an
Speaker 1: interesting quote and it says, be still and know that
Speaker 1: I am God. And I think that the idea of
Speaker 1: a god, I'm not talking about angry Santo in a
Speaker 1: cloud and after you die you get you know, a prize.
Speaker 1: It's sod your handed a ridiculous, you know, and like
Speaker 1: here's your cloud and here's your place where you're gonna
Speaker 1: like walk around wearing.
Speaker 2: Slacks slacks in a meadow with your family assembled around here.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so beyond fucking ludicrous, it's insulting. The
Speaker 1: I don't I don't have any kind of grip on
Speaker 1: the idea of of an after life, but the idea
Speaker 1: that the silence exists infinitely, I find that quite comforting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I I can see how you would.
Speaker 2: It could also really just kind of rock your world,
Speaker 2: depending on you know, your framework.
Speaker 3: I think two things.
Speaker 2: I think that the thing I've become very comfortable with
Speaker 2: knowing is that I am never going to know. I
Speaker 2: can make some decisions I can hold on to some perceptions,
Speaker 2: but that the universe. Because one thing I thought a
Speaker 2: lot about after the web seeing those web photos was like, well,
Speaker 2: then what's beyond that and what's beyond that and what's
Speaker 2: beyond that?
Speaker 3: And that is just ungroppable to the human mind. It
Speaker 3: can't be groped.
Speaker 2: There's just no way just understood right like that, there's
Speaker 2: but like comprehensively understood, like there's just no way, which
Speaker 2: is why we've created a guy and this guy who's
Speaker 2: peering down over the side of our fish bowl looking
Speaker 2: at us and you know, fucking us up and ruining things,
Speaker 2: because otherwise, if you think about the vast expanse of space,
Speaker 2: it's it just goes on forever, and you're trying to
Speaker 2: reach beyond that with your mind and it cannot be reached.
Speaker 1: Or, as Saint Augustine of Hippo said, trying to understand
Speaker 1: the mind of God is like trying to pour the
Speaker 1: ocean into a cup.
Speaker 2: You're not it's just to do the creatures, you know,
Speaker 2: And we're pretty we're more advance than we've ever been.
Speaker 2: I imagine we'll advance further if we don't destroy this
Speaker 2: place and blow ourselves out.
Speaker 1: Have you seen Oppenheimer.
Speaker 3: I have I have pretty hilarious God a laugh a minute.
Speaker 3: Although you know the.
Speaker 1: Murphy character, he could lose a little way.
Speaker 3: Like Jeff Peterson, like, oh my god, God. And even
Speaker 3: in the movie they say to him something I think.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think in real life he was a
Speaker 2: guy who just lived on tobacco and you know, meditating
Speaker 2: on the determination of human life.
Speaker 1: He was on the old Late Night Show and he's
Speaker 1: he's lovely. He's such a nice guy, a nice guy,
Speaker 1: and I'm very envious of his.
Speaker 3: Really thoughtful actor.
Speaker 2: I saw him, I went to Uh, there's an Irish
Speaker 2: there's like an Irish Oscars.
Speaker 3: Every year it's.
Speaker 2: Called the It's called God because your Scott is.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you touch it, but you're gonna have.
Speaker 2: Irish people do love they love this buds though. Oh
Speaker 2: they love the spuds and uh. It's called the Oscar
Speaker 2: Wild Awards and they have it at Bad Robot in
Speaker 2: Santa Monica every year and they kind of honor all
Speaker 2: the Irish, you know, the different Irish artists that have
Speaker 2: been nominated. And this was a big year for Irish artists.
Speaker 2: I mean, there were a lot of nominees and he
Speaker 2: was there at the killing, was there at the very beginning.
Speaker 2: And he's just about the most delightful guy. Like he
Speaker 2: just exudes. I mean, talk about a guy who I
Speaker 2: don't know what he does in his private time, but
Speaker 2: he looks like he meditates for six hours day.
Speaker 3: He's the most serene.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cool guy, He's got something for sure.
Speaker 2: It's just you know, I just said hi to him
Speaker 2: for a beat, and you know he's I'm sure, being
Speaker 2: dragged in every single direction. This what I love about
Speaker 2: Oscars because almost everybody in the town is no nomination, nothing,
Speaker 2: no way, in no way they related to what's gonna
Speaker 2: happen on Oscar. But there's twittering around town in a skirt.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're not nominated for shit.
Speaker 3: Go home? Why are you dressed up on a Tuesday
Speaker 3: at go back? Go home, have a TV dinner and
Speaker 3: you know, do you know what I think?
Speaker 1: It's like I remember once doing a corporate gig and
Speaker 1: eating the second most successful car salesman in the Grand
Speaker 1: Rapids area.
Speaker 3: I cannot this is like the fucking Oscars.
Speaker 1: It's like it's exactly like the os because everyone gets
Speaker 1: dressed up, gets in the stupid cars. And walks in
Speaker 1: and who is going to be the greatest the second
Speaker 1: art car salesman in the Grand Rapids area, A fucking.
Speaker 3: Oscars is exactly the relations gym. Well done. You are
Speaker 3: an inspiration runner up.
Speaker 1: This is for all the little fat kids out there
Speaker 1: that wanted to sell automobiles and didn't know if they.
Speaker 3: Can follow your dream. For all of you out there
Speaker 3: who never believed in me, you can suck it. You
Speaker 3: suck it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we've been talking for way too long
Speaker 1: about Oh no, yeah, will you come bined and do
Speaker 1: another one?
Speaker 3: I love talking to you that much. I love talking
Speaker 3: to you. What a delight you are just great, You're great.
Speaker 3: It's great to see you in person.
Speaker 1: It's great to see you. And and good luck with
Speaker 1: the cocktails. Criminal man, I came in here to.
Speaker 2: Talk about criminal minds at my cocktail company, and we
Speaker 2: just talked about the vast expanse, the unknowable, unknowable nature
Speaker 2: of God and the universe.
Speaker 1: What the fun do you think it is?
Speaker 3: And after you listen to this episode, you will
Speaker 2: Need a drink to philosophy dot com get and I
Speaker 2: get it.