Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
Speaker 2: to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim
Speaker 2: and give us time and a terminol and gay. We
Speaker 2: want to send you off instide.
Speaker 1: We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about every scared he was it fine?
Speaker 1: Malborn.
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Ride? Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgera.
Speaker 5: We're in my neighborhood, but we're not going to my house.
Speaker 5: We're going to a guest's house.
Speaker 1: That's right, because it's not about you today, Chris, It's
Speaker 1: about our guest.
Speaker 5: There's been so many episodes where in the past I've
Speaker 5: made it about me, like it's me day, but yes day,
Speaker 5: it's someone else day.
Speaker 1: Although may I just say podcasting every day is me day.
Speaker 1: That's what podcasting is all about.
Speaker 5: Yes, It's almost like there's nothing into life aside from podcasting,
Speaker 5: right right?
Speaker 3: And then we hear a gun noise, Yeah, just a
Speaker 3: gun noise. Not the shot.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, And that wasn't a joke about violence
Speaker 1: or no self violence that's.
Speaker 5: Ever happened to anyone in your family, Any violence has
Speaker 5: touched you in any way.
Speaker 3: We don't mean to bring that up.
Speaker 1: Oh bring back man, a red light touch from violence. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I would like to just tell everybody that I am
Speaker 1: wearing essentially dentures right now because I'm getting new teeth
Speaker 1: and so I'm wearing fake veneers and it feels weird.
Speaker 3: They could be the real thing.
Speaker 1: But don't you love this neighborhood.
Speaker 3: I do love this neighborhood.
Speaker 5: There's so much going on that I gotta be careful
Speaker 5: because I could leave the house every night and then
Speaker 5: you know what happens when I leave the house.
Speaker 1: You're happy?
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then so it which is fine. It sounds
Speaker 5: good on paper, but then the rest of my life
Speaker 5: I'm contrasting it with that happy time I once had
Speaker 5: living in Echo.
Speaker 1: Park, that time where you were just walking down the
Speaker 1: street whistling like Jughead himself.
Speaker 5: On top of sunshine with my green, pointy weird hat.
Speaker 1: I'm on top of sunshine in my hat, a top
Speaker 1: of the sunshine.
Speaker 3: Why oh yeah, Uh well, yeah. We Uh. I took
Speaker 3: my first plates class yesterday. Chris something.
Speaker 1: When did you get divorced? Okay, up top.
Speaker 5: That yeah, that shower, that'll shower.
Speaker 3: Look at this round muscular bubble butt. Did you take
Speaker 3: the kids away?
Speaker 5: And again, if any of your kids have been taken
Speaker 5: away from you and we're not light, that's not a
Speaker 5: red button flag for that.
Speaker 1: We're not flagging anything and we're not pushing any button
Speaker 1: at all. Was it the kind that had machine?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes, aren't those cool when your neck when your spine cracked?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I had, I mean I need.
Speaker 5: It was like an introductory level thing, so they didn't
Speaker 5: have it on the spine crack setting.
Speaker 3: It was just like starter off. Yeah. We basically did
Speaker 3: the warm up and cool down and I'd never done plates, but.
Speaker 1: It's pretty right.
Speaker 3: Yeah. They know it's good though, because it's fucking expensive. Yes.
Speaker 5: They were like, okay, well you can do the uh
Speaker 5: all the time everything plan for three hundred dollars a month.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, let's go down from there.
Speaker 5: All the people that were in my little intro thing
Speaker 5: all heard that price and said no. Yeah, And I'm
Speaker 5: such a sucker for sales. I don't know how to
Speaker 5: say no. I wanted to say no, but so I
Speaker 5: just bought four visits oh in a month, but it's
Speaker 5: still like almost a one hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: Well it's good because if you just started doing it,
Speaker 1: you want to make sure that you like it, right, But.
Speaker 5: I gotta be doing something else too. I can't just
Speaker 5: have one workout day a month. I mean that won't
Speaker 5: or a week that won't do anything for me. True,
Speaker 5: but it's I just don't know how to say no.
Speaker 5: It's like the time I bought carpet cleaner from some
Speaker 5: door to door guy and I didn't even have carpet.
Speaker 3: I could have easily told him these are wood.
Speaker 5: Floors, but I still bought somers because the guy had
Speaker 5: a bad tie.
Speaker 3: And I feel bad, right, is it?
Speaker 5: I wish Paul lived here at this camouflage would be
Speaker 5: aware of doghouse.
Speaker 3: Sorry, thank you for your service, sir, Paul. I didn't realize.
Speaker 1: BMW racing up the street.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry?
Speaker 1: Did that was? That was a tough one.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's how bumpers get ripped off. Good thing, it
Speaker 5: was a short curb.
Speaker 3: Thank you, sir.
Speaker 1: Thank you a very low cark.
Speaker 3: Did we honk? It seemed like your horn was so
Speaker 3: far away.
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't me, it was it was someone
Speaker 1: far away.
Speaker 3: I bet he'll respond to that honk as if it
Speaker 3: were us. That's the first time I've had a honk assist.
Speaker 1: It's perfect timing.
Speaker 5: Thank you, passer by. It was probably honking because they're
Speaker 5: mad at us.
Speaker 1: Thank you the clearly the lord who's on our side.
Speaker 1: Evehn Do I sound different on the mic you now
Speaker 1: that I have new teeth.
Speaker 3: I think you sound more sophisticated and more confident.
Speaker 1: Thank you, and.
Speaker 3: They'll have to get you when you talk right. It's
Speaker 3: like having a tongue ring. Just to relate it to
Speaker 3: most people.
Speaker 1: To most people at Lilith Fair. Yes, it already feels
Speaker 1: I'm slightly getting used to.
Speaker 3: I went to Lilith Fair years ago, and I really
Speaker 3: have no memory of it.
Speaker 1: Were you on drugs or drink I don't believe.
Speaker 5: I think it was long enough ago to where I
Speaker 5: wasn't quite doing it that much drinking. I wish I
Speaker 5: remembered more about it, because then it would be followed
Speaker 5: by a story you know, huh, not just I did that,
Speaker 5: and then silence followed by helicopters.
Speaker 1: Listen, First of all, this is a helicopter podcast, be
Speaker 1: not a storytelling podcast. We don't owe anybody anything.
Speaker 6: Hello, Hi Paul, nice to see you.
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 4: Just have you a leisurely afternoon.
Speaker 1: It's nice to see you.
Speaker 3: I'll give you my hand.
Speaker 7: Hi, goodness, see you see I will not a lot
Speaker 7: of That's okay, A lot of people, uh, don't expect
Speaker 7: that when they get in the car, we won't be
Speaker 7: facing each other.
Speaker 3: You're gonna look at the back of my hair. That's right.
Speaker 4: You've well sad to see this as a.
Speaker 3: Oh she had to go first head rest.
Speaker 4: I can't see your hair.
Speaker 3: It's oh, yes, yes it is. It is grothy.
Speaker 4: It's like you're a waiver for a head Paul.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? I like this area?
Speaker 4: Thank you. This is my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Huh, I go park right.
Speaker 8: You know, it's summertime in the neighborhood. It's hanging out,
Speaker 8: a lot of riding bikes around the neighborhood.
Speaker 3: It's really old timey Hollywood looking hospital.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a rehabilitation facility and it's you know, keeps
Speaker 8: some exciting characters hanging hanging in the neighborhood.
Speaker 4: As well.
Speaker 1: Yes, nice.
Speaker 5: I mean we were just talking about how I should
Speaker 5: go to rehab because ever since my trip to Lilith Fair,
Speaker 5: I can't even remember being there.
Speaker 1: What a story, Yeah, got it was.
Speaker 5: The ups and downs of it, followed by a home
Speaker 5: run conclusion.
Speaker 1: Are there any characters, Paul, that you can think of
Speaker 1: offhand that you this that makes you think of that
Speaker 1: you've witnessed in the neighborhood?
Speaker 4: What his Lilith Fair problem?
Speaker 3: No folk.
Speaker 1: Or really anyone.
Speaker 8: Well, there's one time this guy came to my house.
Speaker 8: I was getting uh someone, We had some people doing
Speaker 8: some repairs on our apartment and this guy comes up
Speaker 8: and bangs on the door and he said, you're I
Speaker 8: have your your bulldog? Your dog got out and I
Speaker 8: was like, oh what and he was like, yeah, we
Speaker 8: found it up the street. Can I Can I bring it?
Speaker 8: Can you want to come up with us and keep
Speaker 8: your dog? And I was like, well, why don't you
Speaker 8: bring her down? He's like yeah, but you know, I
Speaker 8: just would feel more comfortable with like you came up
Speaker 8: to get her exce I don't wanted to be worried.
Speaker 4: I was like oh yeah, okay, wow.
Speaker 8: And I had my kids with me, and I was like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 8: all right, and I turned around to tell them what
Speaker 8: the deal was and my dog was in the apartment.
Speaker 5: Oh what then did you casually say? You know what,
Speaker 5: I never really liked that dog.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I was like, you know, my dog's here right now,
Speaker 8: but thanks for your concern. And that's when I realized
Speaker 8: I was being lured. Yes, I was being lured out
Speaker 8: of my house.
Speaker 1: Well that's super crazy. Were you being lured to the
Speaker 1: rehab center?
Speaker 8: Well, that's that's sort of the hangout spot out in
Speaker 8: front in the grass. They do kind of a decent job,
Speaker 8: but it's always ends up. You know, I'm going to
Speaker 8: walk my dog and there's four guys getting real loose
Speaker 8: and loaded in the grass and I just don't want
Speaker 8: any part of it.
Speaker 1: You hate stuff like that?
Speaker 8: I hate stuff? Well, yes, as a rule, I do.
Speaker 8: You know, can you do me a favor while we're
Speaker 8: in this area?
Speaker 4: Totally?
Speaker 8: I need to drop off this DVD at the library. Yes,
Speaker 8: I use my neighborhood library.
Speaker 1: I love it all the time.
Speaker 3: Quit showing off.
Speaker 8: Well, you know these are these DVDs. They only give
Speaker 8: it for four days, so you know, people get how
Speaker 8: short DVD.
Speaker 1: Rentals are that's right, and you don't want to get charged.
Speaker 4: No, lord, no, they've already got me over the barrel
Speaker 4: for three dollars. They asked me for it. Every time
Speaker 4: I'm in there, I.
Speaker 1: Never have cash over the barrel, over that library barrel.
Speaker 4: It's it's a big barrel filled with books.
Speaker 1: Yes, filled with Encyclopedia, brown books.
Speaker 4: They've got a zine rack. It's a hip library. Wow.
Speaker 1: Local zines, Yeah, some local zines.
Speaker 8: There's yoga, there's I don't I don't know what else
Speaker 8: they have, but they have others.
Speaker 4: There's a comedy of it.
Speaker 1: Mike, there is this the one that's near the Red Lion.
Speaker 8: Uh no, no, it's actually we're almost we're almost added.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's just.
Speaker 4: Up around this bend a bit of a ways.
Speaker 1: Okay, texts got you?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, the place I never know how to pronounce
Speaker 5: certainly isn't spelled like text.
Speaker 1: No, taks doesn't feel like text.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to go tags.
Speaker 4: It doesn't feel that sounds strange. You know you're forcing it.
Speaker 3: I went there. Now I've heard.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, this is subsided. This is it right here?
Speaker 4: So after these this little bakeup park cars is slide
Speaker 4: over and all. Okay, I'll pop it in the box,
Speaker 4: pop it in the barrel.
Speaker 1: Gotta love it.
Speaker 8: Joel Schumacher's The Phantom of the Opera Back to the People.
Speaker 3: How was it?
Speaker 1: Would you give us a review? It was I'd never
Speaker 1: seen it before. I was like, who is this man?
Speaker 4: And it?
Speaker 8: And it is h Gerard Butler. Oh the Phantom and
Speaker 8: that was so shocking. And he sings his own stuff,
Speaker 8: which really Yeah, okay, I gotta keep for you this.
Speaker 3: You know everyone does.
Speaker 1: There's more to Gerard but ely than I thought.
Speaker 4: That's right. I thought he was just eye candy.
Speaker 5: It's just auto tuning, a little auto tuning, and I
Speaker 5: can that's true.
Speaker 1: Everybody sounds good with auto tune.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all Hollywood's just bells and whistles.
Speaker 1: I love the idea of helping people do their errands
Speaker 1: during this podcast.
Speaker 5: Yes, I wish more people took the initiative and brought
Speaker 5: things for us to do.
Speaker 1: I think if we say that, sorry, no, don't worry
Speaker 1: about it. I think we should start helping people get
Speaker 1: stuff done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we drive around.
Speaker 5: Else do you need to do? Do you have to
Speaker 5: pay a bill? Go to the Warner building?
Speaker 4: I pay my bills online.
Speaker 1: But that's good.
Speaker 4: But the library I like, I r L. I like
Speaker 4: to go in there and.
Speaker 5: Drive you to like a coffee shop that has computers
Speaker 5: and you could go online and pay bills.
Speaker 1: You can surf the web without getting caught by the FBI.
Speaker 3: Oh right, that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: Go to my more scandalous websites at the coffee shop.
Speaker 1: Well, Chris said that he'd seen he's been seeing you
Speaker 1: at auditions. What's the last audition that you had? You
Speaker 1: gonna tell us about it?
Speaker 3: Sure? It was? Please say Frisky's cat food?
Speaker 1: Why was that yours?
Speaker 3: No? No, I have Toyota one today. It's boring.
Speaker 4: Wow, that's good.
Speaker 8: Anything that's a large multinational corporation, that's yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you know that. It made me do a
Speaker 5: fist pump right when I woke up.
Speaker 4: That's early.
Speaker 8: I had to pretend to be a guy desiring a
Speaker 8: man cave. I just know that from my time here
Speaker 8: in Hollywood. It's so unfair what they do to your
Speaker 8: self perception. I know that I definitely look like a
Speaker 8: guy that should have a man cave and a giant house,
Speaker 8: and it hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I see you differently, Thank you guy.
Speaker 1: I see you as the guy that has a really
Speaker 1: interesting snacks for sale at a grateful dead show.
Speaker 8: Oh god, that's that is a great side hustle, right
Speaker 8: the very first I mean.
Speaker 1: My own ice cream sandwiches.
Speaker 3: Right, No, no, it's it's quite all right. Yeah.
Speaker 5: The first commercial I ever was in it was Burlington
Speaker 5: coat factory. In the house that they shot it in,
Speaker 5: it was the most beautiful ice So was flattered that
Speaker 5: they would even think that I would have a house
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nutched a Christmas tree that big?
Speaker 4: What world could this possibly be?
Speaker 5: And then so I just walked away from it and
Speaker 5: realizing I won't.
Speaker 3: I don't have that house and I probably won't ever
Speaker 3: have that tree. Yeah, well it's confronting these commercials.
Speaker 1: You could have the tree though, maybe.
Speaker 5: But if I had that house and I had that tree,
Speaker 5: you know, wouldn't we shopping at Berlin a coke factory.
Speaker 1: But it's so much more than coats.
Speaker 3: Yes, they have a band of scarves.
Speaker 1: They do. They do very odd oddly fitting socks.
Speaker 3: Let's not forget about our hat barrel.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I love to pick my hats from a barrel.
Speaker 4: I let see them smoosh.
Speaker 8: Together, so I know that they've got each other's good
Speaker 8: energy rubbed up on them.
Speaker 1: Ooh, a hat from a bank and a hat that
Speaker 1: has a fish on it together at last.
Speaker 5: I've told you about the hat I had that I
Speaker 5: got at a garage sale that said ninety and still
Speaker 5: on the go. And when it's at a garage sale,
Speaker 5: you know the guy is no longer on the cot.
Speaker 3: No, and so.
Speaker 5: I'm just wearing a dead guy's hat stopped. But I
Speaker 5: did think about him every time every time I wore it.
Speaker 1: I think that's what he'd want.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, it's better than his fucking kids gave to him.
Speaker 8: You know, they should have kept the hat.
Speaker 5: I really think they definitely should have kept all the
Speaker 5: Elvis Costello cassettes I got from him.
Speaker 1: I mean, clearly those kids didn't have a sense of
Speaker 1: humor if they didn't keep that hat.
Speaker 4: Definitely.
Speaker 5: It's strange to me that I because I'm really into
Speaker 5: Elvis Costello now and I at the time I knew
Speaker 5: of him and maybe a song here or there, but
Speaker 5: it wasn't until I had four cassette types from this
Speaker 5: dead guy. It's I he'll never know that he got
Speaker 5: me into Elvis.
Speaker 1: Do you know I can't listen to Elvis Costello because
Speaker 1: my college roommate used to sing I'm sure I to
Speaker 1: do this, but used to sing. We listened to him
Speaker 1: all the time, but she would sing a long, full
Speaker 1: honor choir voice, so it'd be like Oliver's arm mean
Speaker 1: is him to?
Speaker 5: I was just like And the worst experiences when someone
Speaker 5: has a good voice but happy birthday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when they can't control the performance of the voice
Speaker 1: right where it's like we're in the car, I don't
Speaker 1: want this in my ears.
Speaker 5: Before you do that, you you go to my level
Speaker 5: when we're singing in the car.
Speaker 3: And then when you're in the studio, I'm are.
Speaker 1: You talking about me? Yeah? When are we in this studio?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I've heard some of your studio recordings.
Speaker 5: I wasn't there, otherwise I would have mucked up your performance.
Speaker 1: I say, when we were doing our Duets album.
Speaker 5: If you haven't listened to Karen's Live at the Bootleg,
Speaker 5: you should listen to a lot of people, don't someone.
Speaker 5: I've gotten messages where it's like, who did your guys' song?
Speaker 3: They don't even know it's you.
Speaker 1: Really, that's fine.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: But interestingly enough, like half the people that were did
Speaker 1: that live show with me that night are in this
Speaker 1: car right now. Paul Dinky was the host of the
Speaker 1: entire evening, that's true, and Chris Ferbanks was a free
Speaker 1: farmer on it.
Speaker 4: Wow, this is kind of a reunion, the reunion show.
Speaker 1: It meant a lot to me, guys.
Speaker 4: It was a really fun time. One of my own
Speaker 4: ago was that six years No.
Speaker 1: Five five, twenty fourteen.
Speaker 5: I believe that makes that that registers that. That's one
Speaker 5: of those dates where I feel good because I hear
Speaker 5: it and I'm like that sounds right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have lost context.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was years.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, we're all dying so quickly. Yeah, it's
Speaker 5: just now that's.
Speaker 1: How it usually is. Chris, that was nineteen years ago. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone freaks out.
Speaker 8: I'm I'm now twenty years out of high school. This
Speaker 8: is my my years year having the twenty year reunion.
Speaker 8: So it's that's I don't really care about that. But
Speaker 8: all of the articles I see is like, this album's
Speaker 8: twenty years old now, this album's twenty five years old now,
Speaker 8: and it is like, oh fuck, yeah, yeah, it all
Speaker 8: has been aging this whole time. Oh yeah, okay, Wow,
Speaker 8: those NBA recruits didn't know who Outcast was. What they
Speaker 8: were showing a bunch of new guys that they signed
Speaker 8: up through the draft for the NBA, and they were
Speaker 8: showing them people from twenty years ago, and they didn't
Speaker 8: know who Outcasts were.
Speaker 4: God damn showed me to the bone.
Speaker 1: That's horrible.
Speaker 4: That's horrible.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, in their defense, Outcast hasn't been pumping
Speaker 5: out any head slightly.
Speaker 1: I feel like, hey, yaw is forever.
Speaker 4: Thank you. Have you been to a wedding? I think
Speaker 4: you know Outcasts.
Speaker 5: I think you do know because I'm on the floor
Speaker 5: shaking it like a polaroid picture.
Speaker 1: So give me some sugar. I'm your fucking neighbor. The
Speaker 1: best song lyric of all time. There's no fucking it
Speaker 1: is it is it is, That is truly. Every time
Speaker 1: I heard that song when it first came out, I
Speaker 1: would laugh out loud the whole time.
Speaker 3: I Am your neighbor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so oh the way he says it, Okay, some sugar.
Speaker 8: Oh, I'm still now on it plays on K one
Speaker 8: on one on our super classic rock station.
Speaker 4: Sometimes.
Speaker 5: Oh that's when you know when Outcast is on the
Speaker 5: classic rock station.
Speaker 4: Well they got to move it forward. That's yeah, they
Speaker 4: have still but it is pretty eft.
Speaker 1: It's pretty awful. I speaking of time passing and aging
Speaker 1: and our body's decaying.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: At the dentist this morning, I had one of those
Speaker 1: like huge hold your mouth open, Oh, this is a
Speaker 1: plastic in for like an hour straight, and when he
Speaker 1: took it out, there were these lines, these red lines
Speaker 1: from just my that skin being stretched. But it like
Speaker 1: it was so jarring where I was like, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm going to look like when I'm eighty. Like
Speaker 1: it was just like and they weren't going away, So
Speaker 1: he was trying to talk to me because I've said
Speaker 1: on this podcast before, but my dentist is beautiful, and
Speaker 1: it's really awful to have a hot person in your mouth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it's very shaming, pulling.
Speaker 4: All the bad smells from deep within your mouth.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I think about it.
Speaker 1: Too, but I mean old popcorn shells.
Speaker 5: I'm not a try I just I worry about what
Speaker 5: my dentist is experiencing all the time because she's such
Speaker 5: a nice person.
Speaker 3: She doesn't deserve.
Speaker 1: What your mouth is giving her.
Speaker 5: And she works so hard to really get in there,
Speaker 5: which just just more punishment for her. I mean, I'm
Speaker 5: no hog in the mouth face.
Speaker 4: You've got great teeth, chriss, you definitely have gree Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I've been around a while.
Speaker 1: They are good teeth.
Speaker 4: Yeah, litl choppers, nice and straight.
Speaker 1: Real straight.
Speaker 5: I wish they used to be really white. But you know,
Speaker 5: I also used to have twenty twenty vision.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Those things change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they do.
Speaker 1: They crumble away.
Speaker 3: Just one morning. They just suddenly shatter your eyes.
Speaker 5: I used to gray vision, and then one day I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: something happened. I can't read my phone. And I actually
Speaker 5: went to an optimologist.
Speaker 3: And he said, yeah, just you're at that age.
Speaker 5: And I'm like, yeah, but yesterday I could see, today
Speaker 5: I can't. So clearly there's cobalt from my hip surging
Speaker 5: through my veins. He said, no, that's how it happened
Speaker 5: for me too. One day I just noticed I couldn't see, yes, yeah,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, okay, so then I and he interrupted
Speaker 5: me and said, in the world as a vampire.
Speaker 3: Ye, great, so he's saying it.
Speaker 1: Do you know that I went to the ophthalmologist one
Speaker 1: time because my prescription had changed so quickly and I.
Speaker 1: It was the optomologist in the mall, and he was
Speaker 1: very odd and at one point when he was checking
Speaker 1: my eyes to figure out what my new prescription was,
Speaker 1: he was like right here, like his face was one
Speaker 1: inch away from my face or less. And I was
Speaker 1: just saying, yeah, it's really weird because I was I
Speaker 1: feel like I was like a certain amount of near
Speaker 1: sighted for a while, and now it's just cratered and
Speaker 1: now it's crazy bad. And then just with his face
Speaker 1: right next to my face, he went, you cannot fight
Speaker 1: Mother Earth or Father Time. Oh and the lights were
Speaker 1: out because he was looking like in the backs of
Speaker 1: my eyes. But so we were in a dark room
Speaker 1: and he was whispering that shit right right at me.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, yeah, I get his numbers. He sounds like
Speaker 4: a cat.
Speaker 1: I think he was.
Speaker 4: So creepy in those moments.
Speaker 3: That's just a terrible I mean, Mother Nature, that would
Speaker 3: have been normal.
Speaker 1: But so, yeah, no one's trying to fight Mother Earth
Speaker 1: for fuck's sake, it's too big.
Speaker 4: Yeah we live here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no one's doing that, but.
Speaker 5: We are all in a bloody battle with the Father Time.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just never hear him called that, right, it's the.
Speaker 1: Patrecide element nobody wants to face. Right, we're killing our
Speaker 1: own father exactly.
Speaker 3: Just leave my parents out of.
Speaker 1: Please, please, please, So, Paul. One of the things we've
Speaker 1: really started doing pretty habitually on this podcast is going
Speaker 1: to Starbucks drive throughs around town. I love it.
Speaker 5: I love it, even though we know there's Ma and
Speaker 5: Pa coffee shops, but they don't get put that spring
Speaker 5: in my staff.
Speaker 3: Um sorry, now you.
Speaker 8: I grew up in a town with I think the
Speaker 8: most per capita drive through coffee shops.
Speaker 4: Really, they're on like every corner and.
Speaker 8: Every grocery store parking lot would have a little like
Speaker 8: a little photo hut that you could drive through and
Speaker 8: get coffee. And it's the best. You shouldn't have to
Speaker 8: get out of your car and stand in line for
Speaker 8: a coffee.
Speaker 1: Once you do a drive through a coffee place, you
Speaker 1: never want to get out of your car again, right,
Speaker 1: And when I say you, I mean me. I don't
Speaker 1: want to get out of my car.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm becoming a person that doesn't want to be
Speaker 5: in my car ever, because now I live in a
Speaker 5: neighborhood where I can walk to everything, and I just
Speaker 5: leave it in the garage and then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: I got to drive today and the batteries just tad.
Speaker 4: Yes, I have lived that, that is happening.
Speaker 3: I gotta wake up the neighbor Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Someone I've met another person that used to live in
Speaker 5: my area and yeah, just a friend that from Austin
Speaker 5: and he said, you know, that neighborhood has a lot
Speaker 5: of sex offenders in it. And I'm like, why, what,
Speaker 5: why are you telling me this? He said, because there's
Speaker 5: not a school around that neighborhood. We should go to
Speaker 5: Annie's Law, Amy's Law, whatever, Neighborhood Watchdog one of these sites.
Speaker 3: And of course my neighbor was on there.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Wow, I gotta look at these things.
Speaker 4: I have children, I mean, yeah, no, I should know.
Speaker 3: Do his picture was?
Speaker 4: I mean, well, you know that's why we keep the
Speaker 4: kids not locked up, but very close to locked up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as close to locked up as possible.
Speaker 3: You leave that bulldog running around the neighborhood.
Speaker 4: I mean it's well, I shouldn't know.
Speaker 3: She never kids up when that guy?
Speaker 5: Did you specify when that guy you noticed your dog
Speaker 5: was in the place, did you then just slam the
Speaker 5: door shut?
Speaker 8: You know he was he immediately got apologetic and like
Speaker 8: backed off.
Speaker 4: Oh, And I was like, hmmm, that's what I thought.
Speaker 4: Oh man, I'm just suspicious of that.
Speaker 1: Did he want you out of the house so that
Speaker 1: they could go in or did they want you up
Speaker 1: somewhere so that he could mug you?
Speaker 3: All right? Yeah, no one of the two.
Speaker 5: I went the menu at the dog, ran in and
Speaker 5: sprayed him right in the face with pepper spray.
Speaker 3: I will say that it.
Speaker 8: Was one of those things that just gives you that
Speaker 8: cold feeling in your body of like you so easily
Speaker 8: get walked into these things, right, and.
Speaker 1: Especially when the people are nice and like Nacy Nicy, right,
Speaker 1: they're helping. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I walked past a woman the other day and she
Speaker 5: was kind of doing her hair, and from behind I
Speaker 5: couldn't tell that she was very much on crack or something,
Speaker 5: but she was like using a reflection in a window
Speaker 5: to do her hair. And I just glanced over and
Speaker 5: then she got behind me and said, did you did you.
Speaker 3: Mess with my shit? Did you mess with my shit?
Speaker 5: And she pushed me and then I turned around and
Speaker 5: it was just an eye. I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 5: what you but she wasn't going to listen to reason,
Speaker 5: and she just kept getting in my face. And then
Speaker 5: some woman that works in like a bridal shop was like, oh,
Speaker 5: it's okay.
Speaker 3: She's she knew of her.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and he just gave her a look and the
Speaker 5: lady totally snapped out of it and like smiled and
Speaker 5: walked away, and I'm like, oh, that was just a
Speaker 5: fun game to her.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, she's just mentally ill and shouldn't be
Speaker 1: on the street because that all those people used to
Speaker 1: be in mental hospitals, but because of Ronald Reagan, they
Speaker 1: all live on the street now. I just walked drove
Speaker 1: down Sunset and there was just long strips of sidewalk
Speaker 1: that are homeless encampments with garbage everywhere. It looks like
Speaker 1: post apocalyptic. It looks like a movie.
Speaker 3: And they are ninety percent mentally ill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, They're just trying to get by. It's horrible.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm always saying, especially when it's a lady that
Speaker 5: just looks like my mom wandering around, I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 5: And and she's got shoes that were probably nice a
Speaker 5: couple of years ago when she had an apartment.
Speaker 3: I fucking came in. It's horrible.
Speaker 5: It drives me nuts, and I like to cheer people up.
Speaker 5: On this podcast with just I'll relate to.
Speaker 3: What other fun things are you doing?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 8: It's you know, it's just like these drive through coffee
Speaker 8: places homeless encampments are popping up in every city across
Speaker 8: It's true.
Speaker 4: They're all dealing with both things.
Speaker 1: It is true. Hi Yah, can I get a ventie
Speaker 1: of your iced tea lemonade? Anything you want?
Speaker 4: I would. I want to have your exact same order.
Speaker 1: Okay, and can we get two of those iced ty
Speaker 1: lemonades please? Same? Thank you.
Speaker 3: She did a good job.
Speaker 1: She's like for all that noise, yeah no, she she.
Speaker 3: Just was like, I want to make sure there's no mistakes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she was thorough.
Speaker 5: And here's the card that we are using Shelley in
Speaker 5: Wonderland on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Shelly for buying our coffees this week.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1: What an amazing racket Chris and I have made up, Paul,
Speaker 1: we started going to Starbucks drive through so now at
Speaker 1: all of at least my favorite Murder live shows, and
Speaker 1: then Chris is starting to get it too. At his
Speaker 1: comedy shows, people will come in the meet and greet
Speaker 1: line and be like, oh and this is for you
Speaker 1: and chrispher Dinah and give us Starbucks gift cards so
Speaker 1: we both have a ton It's the best. It's the
Speaker 1: best thing we never meant to do and now get
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 3: Yes, brilliant, awesome mistake I've ever made.
Speaker 4: It's been Yeah, it's the kismet, no serendipity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, both mixed together.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm reaping the rewards of it right now.
Speaker 1: This is fantastic, enjoyed.
Speaker 3: This is good.
Speaker 4: Actually, I like.
Speaker 8: That you order it as an iced tea lemonade and
Speaker 8: not as the infront ouncelable Arnold Palmer.
Speaker 3: Arnold Palmer, what a hard name. You know. He drive
Speaker 3: a lot of cars that were rear real drives, rear
Speaker 3: wheel Arnold Palmer, mirror.
Speaker 1: You feel like you're drunk when you're trying to say Arnold,
Speaker 1: or I do.
Speaker 4: I'm just swallowing the whole word.
Speaker 1: It's yeld Palm all.
Speaker 4: In the back. A horrible name.
Speaker 1: You have to keep it way in the back. I
Speaker 1: saw on my way to pick up these guys at
Speaker 1: the office, of course was late, as we all know,
Speaker 1: there was a big strip of brown rug in the
Speaker 1: center thing and it literally looked like somebody hit a
Speaker 1: brown bear. But it was like right in the middle
Speaker 1: of Silver Lake, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: someone killed the Saint Bernard or it was crazy.
Speaker 5: But then it was just cart You imagine how horrified
Speaker 5: you would have been if it was one of those
Speaker 5: brown bear rugs and the head was at the end.
Speaker 1: Of it someone just threw it away.
Speaker 3: It would just that would be you got to pick
Speaker 3: that up. That should be some prank that you know,
Speaker 3: Ashton Kutcher or someone should pull on someone.
Speaker 4: In college.
Speaker 8: Yeah, my friend sent me a box and I didn't
Speaker 8: know what it was and I opened it up and
Speaker 8: it was a fake stuffed polar bear rug. So as
Speaker 8: I opened it, it was it looked on first open
Speaker 8: like a real bear's face.
Speaker 4: It scared me. I was scared. It was a great prank.
Speaker 8: We used to mail each other pranks and that was
Speaker 8: the I think that might have ended it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems expensive.
Speaker 5: It's hard to top severed animal head in a box
Speaker 5: when it comes to pranks.
Speaker 1: Here's a good prank. The boys my sister's neighbors in
Speaker 1: her college apartment put a freeze dried, curled up rattlesnake
Speaker 1: into her car when we were moving her out of
Speaker 1: her apartment. So I opened the passenger door, put something in,
Speaker 1: looked down. There was a coiled up ready to strike rattlesnake,
Speaker 1: and I just moved backwards and shut the door quick
Speaker 1: more quickly than I've ever moved in my life. And
Speaker 1: they were all standing up on the porch watching and
Speaker 1: they were like whoa. And they were like really impressed
Speaker 1: because I didn't scream, I didn't have a reaction. I
Speaker 1: just got away from it as physically fast as I could.
Speaker 1: And I've always been incredibly proud of myself for that.
Speaker 4: I know I would stand the test of a real rattle.
Speaker 1: I really I passed a rattlesnake drat test, and I
Speaker 1: don't think that's easy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's huge.
Speaker 5: I fell down my stairs the other day and kind
Speaker 5: of did a diving role and ended up on my feet,
Speaker 5: and I just was proud that.
Speaker 3: It's like, my reflexes are still there. Wow, still do that?
Speaker 1: What's Paul? What are you proud of IM?
Speaker 4: I am also proud of my reflexes.
Speaker 8: I feel like, especially when you become a father, your
Speaker 8: reflex has become more important.
Speaker 4: Do you have to I've caught a child by the face.
Speaker 1: Before wow was falling.
Speaker 3: Don't just scream. I can't even pull my basketball.
Speaker 4: My daughter was on the stairs and she was going
Speaker 4: to jump to me, but instead of jumping, she did
Speaker 4: like a trust fall.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 8: So she ended up about, you know, a couple stairs
Speaker 8: shorter than she should have, and I caught her face
Speaker 8: right before it hit the stairs.
Speaker 3: Oh well, and it was she so she.
Speaker 8: Wasn't hurt and didn't at all appreciate what an amazing catch.
Speaker 4: I there's no one to share this great moment in
Speaker 4: her mind.
Speaker 3: You just slapped her in the face.
Speaker 4: Ow. I'm like, yeah, yeah, ow, but I would call
Speaker 4: it off the stairs.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: There's a compilation out there of dad's oh rabbing their
Speaker 5: kids at the last minute. Video that is some of
Speaker 5: them are horrifying, like out of control car into a
Speaker 5: gas station and people are just grabbing kids by their faces. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: at the last minute. And it's you know, it's old.
Speaker 5: It's not a bunch of athletes doing this. It's just
Speaker 5: everyone has that fight or flight instinct, like, yeah, your
Speaker 5: quick twitch muscles, I'll just wake up when it's a kid.
Speaker 1: I think one time Nora was on a like a
Speaker 1: play structure at the playground across the street from my
Speaker 1: sister's house. And she was two, and she walked very
Speaker 1: very early. I think she was walking at like nine
Speaker 1: months or some of that. It was really creepy, and
Speaker 1: she would run down the street and people would like
Speaker 1: stop and talk to my sister because it looked it
Speaker 1: looked like we had a puppet the night way. So
Speaker 1: she was on this play structure and she was going
Speaker 1: to she was showing me how she was going to
Speaker 1: go and run across that little bridge. You know how
Speaker 1: they make a little bridges sometimes that are kind of loose.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and then kids think it's great to run
Speaker 1: across them. So she was climbing up the stairs to
Speaker 1: get onto the bridge, and at the top she just
Speaker 1: started falling backwards. But I was on the other end
Speaker 1: of where the bridge was ready to catch her on
Speaker 1: that end, and I moved so lightning fast and caught
Speaker 1: her by the back of the head and just tipped
Speaker 1: her back up and then she went anyway. It was
Speaker 1: like for her, it was just like a weird thing
Speaker 1: that then she was going. But for me, at like
Speaker 1: I saved her from intense brain damage by somehow like
Speaker 1: the flash moves where it was just like I was
Speaker 1: here and then I was here catching her, and I
Speaker 1: don't remember like any steps in between.
Speaker 3: That's so great.
Speaker 1: It was crazy.
Speaker 4: I love that stuff.
Speaker 8: It's the you know, it's the superpowers of our human nature.
Speaker 8: M hmm, it's they really show up in those weird
Speaker 8: moments like that.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why can't they just be around all day?
Speaker 4: Well, you got to keep putting yourself in mortal peril. Yeah, right,
Speaker 4: that's right, and you will be great and long may
Speaker 4: you run, but eventually you'll miss the catch and you'll
Speaker 4: die from it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I should start living my life with my back against
Speaker 5: the wall, just just for my just for my reflexes.
Speaker 4: Well, just just look behind you, Chris, you are we
Speaker 4: all are.
Speaker 3: Yea, You're right. You're threatening me.
Speaker 1: You guys are going to get into a fight.
Speaker 8: Oh man, this is the ideal scenario to get in
Speaker 8: a fight with someone directly behind them.
Speaker 4: To drap into the car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done it before.
Speaker 5: You grab the seat belt, the slack, you wrap it
Speaker 5: around their neck.
Speaker 3: Everyone knows that.
Speaker 5: You put their feet behind their seat and then you
Speaker 5: yank until nobody's breathing, right, Karen that's that's right.
Speaker 1: You've got to remember these things.
Speaker 5: Or if you have an extension cord nearby, that'll do
Speaker 5: the trade too.
Speaker 4: I've got a whole plate full of courts right next
Speaker 4: to somebody. Look pretty thick.
Speaker 1: You brought the chords, right, Paul, Oh.
Speaker 4: Yes, I travel with cords.
Speaker 5: You never know when someone's going to need to recharge
Speaker 5: their phone or get.
Speaker 8: Choked out or get killed, gets killed out, just get
Speaker 8: killed lacks man skirt?
Speaker 1: Are you are they still doing the squat melt m
Speaker 1: Have you? Have you done it recently?
Speaker 4: We just did it last night.
Speaker 1: Can you tell us a little bit about it? Because
Speaker 1: I love that idea?
Speaker 5: Does everyone close their set with the police shutting down
Speaker 5: the thing.
Speaker 8: The police have Now that the squat mill has moved,
Speaker 8: it's now a comedy crawl, a tool if you will, right, Okay,
Speaker 8: it's got a lot less attention from security types, which
Speaker 8: is nice.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense, So tell people what you're talking about. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the people that have never heard of.
Speaker 4: It, Okay.
Speaker 8: Squa melt started when the Meltdown Comics Theater closed down.
Speaker 8: Howard Kramer felt like just because the place was closing
Speaker 8: didn't mean comedy shit and at that address.
Speaker 4: So he did a show in their parking lot. But
Speaker 4: it was amazing.
Speaker 8: The first few one were performing in like the old
Speaker 8: trash and signs of meltdown comics, so it was it
Speaker 8: was quite hilarious. And then we were at the Steve
Speaker 8: Allen Theater for a while in their parking lot, another
Speaker 8: closed down comedy venue as seen in the.
Speaker 3: TV show Bear.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I just recognized that in Barry.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: And now it's been ripped down. It is now also
Speaker 4: torn to the.
Speaker 1: Ground, is that true?
Speaker 4: Yeah, they leveled it this week.
Speaker 5: All those poor old men, those poor old athing its
Speaker 5: threading around the glasses.
Speaker 3: What do we do today to push the movement of
Speaker 3: no religion?
Speaker 5: I know they all wear old men and they were adorable,
Speaker 5: but they were like atheists.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and whole bunch of Roy Orbison's.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was Roy Orbison, a famous Avis.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: He just wore lot of black and more weird across
Speaker 5: like bolo tie and he looks like a Satanist to me,
Speaker 5: but maybe that's just in his TV concert.
Speaker 1: At the one time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I still have a haunted grandmother amazing.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 3: Do you know the concert I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: Where there it's like seeing black and white, Yes, and it's.
Speaker 5: It's beautiful and all the backup people, it's Katie Lang
Speaker 5: and all these people.
Speaker 3: But they he looks so.
Speaker 5: Cool in it, you know, his hair and the glasses
Speaker 5: and everything he was doing to just cover up his
Speaker 5: face that he didn't he felt awkward about.
Speaker 4: But man, sense I want to do that. He needed
Speaker 4: to get a big black wig, a nice dusty black wig,
Speaker 4: you can giant faded glasses.
Speaker 1: So so once it left the Sea Vland Theater with
Speaker 1: Roy Robertson and the people who love Satan, you then
Speaker 1: it's just a crawl. Then it's just been going from
Speaker 1: place to place.
Speaker 5: Well it yeah, the time I was on it, it
Speaker 5: was across the street from there, so they crawled just
Speaker 5: across the street. And that was a day where all
Speaker 5: those cops they were like fanned out. It was like
Speaker 5: seven cars.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was intense.
Speaker 3: They were like are we getting arrested?
Speaker 8: And we were in the Barnsdale Park parking lot at
Speaker 8: that point, and I think that's where that was not
Speaker 8: a place to do that.
Speaker 4: That was the smart smart venue, right, but just walking
Speaker 4: up and down the street.
Speaker 8: It's sort of close closed shops and murals, and it
Speaker 8: is really funny just to watch the character of each
Speaker 8: person set shaped by the environment that they're put into.
Speaker 1: Because I realized a couple of weeks ago, I was
Speaker 1: going to dinner at Friend sixty two with my friend
Speaker 1: and as we were walking up, it took me forever
Speaker 1: to put it together that it was a squat. I
Speaker 1: think it was Megan Keester doing a set at squat
Speaker 1: melt uh huh. What it looked like and what I
Speaker 1: assumed it was because remember there was a theater right
Speaker 1: by Skylight Books, yes, and there would always be actors
Speaker 1: like do rehearsing on the sidewalk. I thought it was
Speaker 1: some fucking gorilla theater thing. And I'm immediate was like,
Speaker 1: look at these fucking nerds, and I was like so
Speaker 1: angry and hateful, and then I was like, oh wait,
Speaker 1: that's Megan Geyster. I immediately realized it was squat. No,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, those are all my friends. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was pretty funny. I a lot of hate for it. First,
Speaker 1: I also get someone had a camera and a light, yes,
Speaker 1: so it just looked like la douchebaggery.
Speaker 4: And that is definitely a lot of the reaction it
Speaker 4: gets on Vermont's Boulevard. Yeah, people are apt whatever it is.
Speaker 3: That's funny.
Speaker 1: Everyone's so afraid to be the bad hipster that they
Speaker 1: love when they see the bad hipster, like, there's a
Speaker 1: real bad hipster. It's not me, Yeah, it's act guy.
Speaker 5: Everyone gets mad when they see something non union happening.
Speaker 8: Megan Keister was on the show last night and she
Speaker 8: did a set with Alison Stevenson and that they one
Speaker 8: point put the question out who here has a pilot
Speaker 8: and then made a couple of people explain what their
Speaker 8: pilots were. And to see it done in Los Felise
Speaker 8: like that was chilly. Yeah, it was just like, oh god, no,
Speaker 8: no one suddenly wanted to talk about their show.
Speaker 3: A incredible that's so funny.
Speaker 5: But you gotta be able to no matter what the situation,
Speaker 5: you gotta fire it off because you never know what
Speaker 5: executive you're going to be sitting next to on the Greyhound.
Speaker 1: Every day is an audition in Los Angeles, that's right.
Speaker 5: That's why I just walk around singing and dance and
Speaker 5: waiting for a baby to follow.
Speaker 1: You know, that is. That is what Michael Caine. That
Speaker 1: was his number one advice to actors is treat everything
Speaker 1: you do and everywhere you go like an audition because
Speaker 1: it is in Los Angeles? Is not guy the best?
Speaker 4: Michael Kane with that voice too, giving that advice. I
Speaker 4: want to follow.
Speaker 3: It every day an audition.
Speaker 1: Every day.
Speaker 3: I'm Michael Kaine.
Speaker 1: I like my I'm Michael Kaine.
Speaker 5: I have to say his name to do all my
Speaker 5: impressions are saying the guy's name. Sure have mone Michael Kaine.
Speaker 5: Didn't I say I'm Michael.
Speaker 4: You're finding it. You're definitely the Actually almost.
Speaker 1: We're doing an impression of the guys from the trip,
Speaker 1: doing the impression Michael Caine. It's really this is it's.
Speaker 5: Like it's like an impersonator's game of telephone.
Speaker 8: You know, I don't like the gossip about celebrities that much.
Speaker 8: But but Josh Grobin attended Squat Melt and watched the
Speaker 8: entire show, really stayed for the whole two hours, traveled
Speaker 8: with the program and watched it and had a great time.
Speaker 8: It's really funny. It's such a it's such a unique experience.
Speaker 8: People are really loose with it.
Speaker 3: It's really fun Josh.
Speaker 1: Josh is a unique experience.
Speaker 3: He seems undeniably like a cool, funny guy.
Speaker 4: He's an icebreaker. Yeah, he's got He was on Ally
Speaker 4: McBeal the by.
Speaker 1: Like the music, the Christian music.
Speaker 4: Yeah, is that what he does?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I just know the song from Polar Express.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's started and Christmas Christian evangelical.
Speaker 1: Oh well, but he also has a new TV show
Speaker 1: that's a comedy where he plays I think some kind
Speaker 1: of a detective or something.
Speaker 3: Tony danzas in it? Or am I making that up?
Speaker 4: I think I don't know.
Speaker 3: Tony dan looks like it's dad.
Speaker 1: Oh, but maybe that's why he's like trying to hang
Speaker 1: out around comedians.
Speaker 5: He's playing it by the books. Tony danzas a loose
Speaker 5: cannon together.
Speaker 3: Is it Tony d It's who's the caboose?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Yeah, hard to believe that Tony Danza could once play
Speaker 8: a loose cannon.
Speaker 4: He looks stressed out, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Does he he does? He's got the Did he make
Speaker 1: some bad investments?
Speaker 4: Who has it?
Speaker 3: Looks like finances.
Speaker 1: I see a lot of finance stuff around the eyes.
Speaker 6: Yes, oh yeah, A little wrinkles shape like dollars with negatives,
Speaker 6: specific hardened brow, a squint, a little, that light gone.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm judging Tony Dance a little bit
Speaker 1: because I'm thinking of Scott Bayo and all of his antics, right,
Speaker 1: and they kind of look alike.
Speaker 3: Yeah they did in the beginning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but now I don't think Tony Danzon deserves that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're probably right, An It's got a few years
Speaker 5: on Bayo. Yeah, yeah, he was already a grown ass
Speaker 5: man in taxi. Isn't that crazy to think?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: He I bet he was twenty eight. I bet he
Speaker 4: was really Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny. Thing is so was the little Danny DeVito.
Speaker 3: Probably it's crazy. I will never My.
Speaker 5: Favorite piece of trivia is that Wilford Brimley was fifty
Speaker 5: two in Cocoon.
Speaker 3: I'm just going to say that every episode.
Speaker 1: It's no, it's worth it. It's worth it because we have
Speaker 1: to think about this, that we are living better as
Speaker 1: human beings these days.
Speaker 5: Did you see the Cocoon Post or the foul Peralta Yes,
Speaker 5: guy from ben put us in Yes, very Yeah, he
Speaker 5: did good, he.
Speaker 3: Did, he done did good.
Speaker 4: I'm going to find this content.
Speaker 5: It's just just go online and just go straight to
Speaker 5: that scene where it's old people break dancing.
Speaker 3: That's my favorite.
Speaker 5: They don't see it in movies anymore where it's clearly
Speaker 5: a stunt man and his wig is crooked, yes, or
Speaker 5: a stunt answer. But man, when they all get the
Speaker 5: feeling because they got cocoon juice in them apparent, they
Speaker 5: just start breaking electric bugaloo.
Speaker 1: I think it's really good though, that old people doing
Speaker 1: young things comedy is over because after there's something about
Speaker 1: Mary or the wedding singer with the rapin Granny. There
Speaker 1: was about a decade of like solid like MTV promos
Speaker 1: which had old people rapping.
Speaker 3: And they just put old man makeup.
Speaker 1: On all and there was always there was always a
Speaker 1: rap element to it. So it was the you're just
Speaker 1: watching old actors humiliate themselves for money. And I hated
Speaker 1: it so fucking much. I hated it, and.
Speaker 8: I'll never get the cash in on it. Yeah, because
Speaker 8: when I'm old there they won't be rapping anymore.
Speaker 1: What if it comes back around when you're old and.
Speaker 4: Really peaks, it's I'm gonna start rapping again.
Speaker 5: I think it's becoming such a thing because now there
Speaker 5: are old I see guys with white hair skateboarding, and
Speaker 5: now young people don't know who outcast is. There are
Speaker 5: old people going hippity and hippity hop at at or whatever.
Speaker 3: That song is the one that.
Speaker 5: The old hip hop hip and that you'll see an
Speaker 5: old person do that at karaoke and it wouldn't even
Speaker 5: be ironic, or it.
Speaker 4: Would just be well received.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like, oh that makes sense. So that little
Speaker 5: window of time is gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all gotten. The irony is dead.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 8: I just saw that Beg's Awards show got their lowest
Speaker 8: ratings ever. Then I realized maybe hip hop is having
Speaker 8: the same thing happen to them that rock and roll happened,
Speaker 8: and electronic music is gonna take It'll be we'll have
Speaker 8: old DJs. But that's not funny, right, you know, drinking
Speaker 8: a red bull. That's not that funny.
Speaker 1: It really isn't. We should work on it.
Speaker 5: Yeah. What if they stopped waving their hands because they
Speaker 5: just don't care anymore?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What if we just started caring? Yeah, come on, everybody.
Speaker 3: What if you wave your hands like you do care.
Speaker 1: But not in the air, down by your down by
Speaker 1: your hips?
Speaker 3: Yeah you do you care about your hips?
Speaker 8: So old people can't reach that high. That's why it's funny.
Speaker 8: It's actually sad.
Speaker 1: This sounds of cracking, that's what's funny.
Speaker 4: Get those joints biked up.
Speaker 5: I like how that press works for the city Parking
Speaker 5: Division and it says watch the road on and the
Speaker 5: he's covered with dents.
Speaker 3: And he just pulled in front of us like timidly.
Speaker 1: He just cut He just essentially cut us off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where's the real number? I want to tell someone,
Speaker 3: how has driving is?
Speaker 1: I want to talk to the city comptroller.
Speaker 3: This is the under this bridge.
Speaker 5: I skateboard sometimes really curbs depytesn't set up, but they
Speaker 5: it's now a bust as they say. Oh, the guy
Speaker 5: came in his old golf cart and he was like,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, but it came from corporate that you guys
Speaker 5: can't skateboard anymore.
Speaker 3: He was like, really sad about it.
Speaker 5: I think it's great, but my boss, there's a camera
Speaker 5: in there and then there's people skateboarding. He looks at me,
Speaker 5: and then I got to come over here and I'm like,
Speaker 5: you stop now, you're already the nicest security.
Speaker 3: Guard ever went and whatever happened to that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, old people are rapping and security guards are tugging
Speaker 5: at my heartstrings.
Speaker 1: It would be funny if then you cut the inside
Speaker 1: of home depot. There's no office, there's no camera. That
Speaker 1: guy's just intentionally emotionally manipulating you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't work for home deepoe. He's just a
Speaker 3: guy with a golf cart.
Speaker 1: It's just a massle with a golf card.
Speaker 3: He's just playing through.
Speaker 8: Think it's a golf course. That is an alarming character.
Speaker 8: I'm not ready to admit that that could be real.
Speaker 1: Mind sucked security guard.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all you have to do is buy a golf
Speaker 4: cart like border patrol those guys that volunteer to do that,
Speaker 4: but just.
Speaker 3: Lower steaks all the Zimmerman type dudes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Paul, have you ever been arrested or interacted with
Speaker 1: security in a violence?
Speaker 3: How much time did you do and what a federal
Speaker 3: or state prison?
Speaker 1: Well, let's hear about it.
Speaker 4: I've never been arrested.
Speaker 8: I've been I've been kicked out of places, skateboarding when
Speaker 8: I was a kid, or you know, writing around in
Speaker 8: shopping carts. And it's how it used to be, man,
Speaker 8: just when you'd have fun in parking lots as a youth.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but uh no, I never got locked up.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I was very fortunate all through all through my
Speaker 8: years where I maybe had it come in.
Speaker 1: You never had to go to juvie.
Speaker 4: I never. No, No, I never had to go to juvia.
Speaker 4: Get my nose clean, Karen, have you been thrown in
Speaker 4: the slammer?
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm pretty sure I haven't.
Speaker 3: Okay, or if I.
Speaker 1: Was, I was blocked out during it and I don't remember,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't count.
Speaker 3: Or you block it out because it's a terrible experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, emotionally I couldn't handle it. But no, I'm actually
Speaker 1: very afraid of authority in that way of like I
Speaker 1: never do anything that might get me in trouble, in
Speaker 1: the way of like people going let's let's sneak into
Speaker 1: this concert. I would never do that, like if I
Speaker 1: could get caught like shopliftings type stuff. I've always been
Speaker 1: beyond paranoid to quote unquote get in trouble like large concept.
Speaker 8: It's not worth it, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never.
Speaker 5: I've never I've been lined up to get handcuffed because
Speaker 5: we're skating in the street and the cop threw he
Speaker 5: was in his regular car, his personal vehicle, and he
Speaker 5: threw open the door and right then it was after
Speaker 5: a basketball game. Right then, a news van ripped the
Speaker 5: door off his car, amazing and throwing him to the
Speaker 5: ground because he was holding onto it. And he was
Speaker 5: so mad, like it was our fault, and he started
Speaker 5: yelling at us, and we're like, hey, we didn't have
Speaker 5: anything to do with what just happened.
Speaker 3: And then he was like, let us go, and he
Speaker 3: was embarrassed. He was embarrassed that he's embarrassed.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's like, maybe you shouldn't let us skateboard
Speaker 5: across the bridge through stopped traffic.
Speaker 3: Where a small town, it wasn't a big deal.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now you have to explain why you got the
Speaker 4: door ripped off your car like an idiot.
Speaker 5: Again, knowing then you probably have to put your badge
Speaker 5: on his desk and on Monday.
Speaker 1: Turn your gun in. Your door got ripped off. What
Speaker 1: if that's like the one rules, the one rule with cops.
Speaker 1: It's unspoken, but you know it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you can understand the mechanics of traffic and
Speaker 5: your door, you shouldn't be operating a firearm.
Speaker 1: No, I had to drive through a bowl traffic the
Speaker 1: other night beforehand, and there was a guy that was
Speaker 1: because in Los Angeles, as we in this car, No,
Speaker 1: but maybe you don't know if you live somewhere else. No,
Speaker 1: everyone drives everyone. If you're waiting to go left on red,
Speaker 1: no one will stop in time, and you end up
Speaker 1: going left on I mean you have you have to
Speaker 1: wait till the light is red to take your left.
Speaker 5: Hand, and the person behind you most likely is going
Speaker 5: to do it too, even though.
Speaker 1: Yes, so people will so and it gets crazy. And
Speaker 1: then when the Hollywood he's in session, it gets terrible
Speaker 1: because the people get mad that they're made to wait
Speaker 1: for more than four minutes, and they start going totally
Speaker 1: deserved yeah, because.
Speaker 3: They basically paved a farm road to get you to home.
Speaker 1: It's so bad. Whatever. So there was a guy that
Speaker 1: was that was basically making people stop correctly and letting
Speaker 1: people go when they were allowed to. But he's standing
Speaker 1: there in the middle of traffic, just doing this real chill,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, everyone could kill him right now.
Speaker 3: Wait, was he just a guy with a golf cart?
Speaker 5: No, because you can just buy a vest and in
Speaker 5: direct traffic.
Speaker 1: He'd be oh wait, now that I think about it.
Speaker 1: There was a golf cart parked in the street as well.
Speaker 1: Guys everywhere he's a scammer, but he's.
Speaker 3: No, he's just doing nice things.
Speaker 4: He sees a problem and he's fixing it. Yeah, he's
Speaker 4: filling the void. That's right, innovator.
Speaker 5: I do have reoccurring a reoccurring dream. I always wake
Speaker 5: up thinking I've done a crime. I have like nightmares
Speaker 5: that I killed someone and I forgot about it and
Speaker 5: then all of a sudden. It's the same as like
Speaker 5: the nightmare where you didn't finish math homework and so
Speaker 5: you have to go back to high school.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 5: It's always right before I wake up, I think. But
Speaker 5: I have one where it's a very specific dream.
Speaker 3: But I buried a bunch of office equipment.
Speaker 5: I crawled into it and it's reoccurring, and so it's
Speaker 5: copiers and everything. I put it in plastic bags and
Speaker 5: I buried it in before on Mount Sentinel. Yeah, but
Speaker 5: I stole the stuff in Helena and I'm with these
Speaker 5: friends of mine. It's very specific, and when I have
Speaker 5: the dream, there's nothing more real than it to where
Speaker 5: I'm like, where's that coming from?
Speaker 3: And did I do that? Yes?
Speaker 5: Right, I'm watching the confession tapes right now. And if
Speaker 5: someone said you know you did you know you did
Speaker 5: this and they didn't get specific, I would just say,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I stole all that office equipment. I thought
Speaker 5: it was a dream. Yeah, I'm so. I'm glad I'll
Speaker 5: never be interrogated because I would fold and I would
Speaker 5: say that right, I did it because I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, nobody trusts their mind. The least trustworthy thing about
Speaker 1: me is my brain and the way it fucking works
Speaker 1: and the ship it tells me. So like, yeah, if
Speaker 1: you're if you were like, no, no, no, that wasn't
Speaker 1: a dream, Karen, you actually did that, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh fuck, I don't believe anyone over me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and try and try and use that defense in
Speaker 5: a court of law. You can be I mean, I
Speaker 5: don't know what my brain's telling me to do. You guys,
Speaker 5: you can be charismatically saying that they're like, yeah, he's.
Speaker 3: Guilty, but they don't know what it's like to be
Speaker 3: in the hot seat.
Speaker 1: No, I have no idea.
Speaker 8: That's why I told my my wife to stop asking
Speaker 8: me if I locked the car, Like if we've left
Speaker 8: the car, just let's all assume I locked it, but
Speaker 8: if you ask me, I will have to walk two
Speaker 8: blocks back and relock that.
Speaker 4: I'm tired of taking that walk.
Speaker 1: In the all the times that you had to do,
Speaker 1: take that walk and make that check. Were there times
Speaker 1: where the car was not locked?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, never I locked. That's everyone does. It's automatic when
Speaker 1: you get out, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Pretty much.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I got an older car than this. You still
Speaker 4: you still got to push the button?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you have to do this? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: hold the handle.
Speaker 4: Up, thank god. No, it's on the it's on the fob.
Speaker 4: At least nice.
Speaker 3: Did you say on the fob?
Speaker 4: On the fob?
Speaker 3: What is that?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: You're the thing that I didn't know?
Speaker 1: It's called the fob? Yeah, oh well key fob guys.
Speaker 5: And I know it's probably people assume this, but I
Speaker 5: do learn something new every day.
Speaker 3: There are a lot of things I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's true about you.
Speaker 9: Yeah, great that every day it happened, and it'll be
Speaker 9: a word where I'm like, like I one time I
Speaker 9: went with Michelle and Martha to six Flags and this
Speaker 9: was not this was less than a decade ago, and
Speaker 9: Michelle said, go pick up our tickets.
Speaker 3: There will call And I'm like, we'll call? What's a
Speaker 3: will call? She's like, will call the boot? I didn't.
Speaker 3: I'd never heard that phrase.
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Yeah? Incredible?
Speaker 5: And then the same thing with them. They were angry.
Speaker 5: They were like mad that I didn't know that, and
Speaker 5: I sorry I did. It wasn't some rich kid going
Speaker 5: to concerts growing up. I've never been to a will call.
Speaker 5: There aren't a lot of music going experiences in Montana
Speaker 5: where there's even a ticket. You just walk up and
Speaker 5: you pant someone five dollars, like it was rarely a concert.
Speaker 1: You hadn't been a Broadway right.
Speaker 3: And people are always like, what was the first concert
Speaker 3: you went to? I'm like, I don't know, Jay's upstairs.
Speaker 3: I probably saw a punk band and didn't pay.
Speaker 5: Like I just didn't know about ticket booths until I
Speaker 5: was in the big fancy city.
Speaker 1: Well that's where they belong, That's what that's where all
Speaker 1: the best ticket booths are.
Speaker 4: Big fancy stah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the ticket booths and in Hollywood and blazoned with
Speaker 5: gold and the glasses bulletproof.
Speaker 3: It's so fancy.
Speaker 4: What was the first big concert? I was just gonna
Speaker 4: ask that I was curious answers, and I was thinking, well,
Speaker 4: I just said.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't remember.
Speaker 5: It's always a question on like an interview or yeah,
Speaker 5: it's I do not recall.
Speaker 4: Can we make one up for you?
Speaker 3: That?
Speaker 5: I mean, I saw screaming Trees once. That was pretty early.
Speaker 5: That's a real concert situation. But that definitely wasn't the
Speaker 5: first one.
Speaker 1: What was yours, Paul.
Speaker 8: My first big concert was Tom Petty. Oh it was.
Speaker 8: It was really amazing. The Black Crows open for them,
Speaker 8: and that was it was really cute, like the Black
Speaker 8: Crows are like, you know, they're definitely obviously they played
Speaker 8: a lot of live music. They're a real kind of
Speaker 8: loose rock band, and you know a couple of their songs.
Speaker 4: It was fun.
Speaker 8: And then Tom Petty is so fucking good and you
Speaker 8: know every song. But the guy behind me loved it
Speaker 8: so much and was screaming yeah the whole time.
Speaker 4: I would I won't even do it. I don't want
Speaker 4: to imitate it now because we're in a small space.
Speaker 4: But it almost ruined. It ruined it for right left
Speaker 4: in a bad movie.
Speaker 3: Sure, sure, don't sing in a concert, wait, just.
Speaker 1: Do stage whisper. But but give us the like longevity
Speaker 1: and intensity and whatever of like oh wow, wall back down,
Speaker 1: scam me up.
Speaker 5: Hell but uh, not singing along, just screaming. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: like Penny waiting, pausing while the guy yelled Yeah it's
Speaker 5: so stupid. Well, there was a I saw this man, Typhoon,
Speaker 5: and I knew nothing about him, but they have a
Speaker 5: huge following, or like a Portland man.
Speaker 3: And the people behind me it was a couple.
Speaker 5: They were singing at top volume, but they were like
Speaker 5: good singers, and they knew all the lyrics and they
Speaker 5: were harmonizing with each other. And I was like, it
Speaker 5: was just like it was in stereo. I didn't give
Speaker 5: a shit about that. I hadn't seen them before. Oh
Speaker 5: that's good. They were great. I've never seen a band.
Speaker 5: It was amazing how good they were. It's just a
Speaker 5: band I'd never heard of. But the people behind me
Speaker 5: were pretty good too. It was just like an added experience. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's very rare.
Speaker 3: I just don't know.
Speaker 1: You start going yeah, but turning totally with my back
Speaker 1: to the stage.
Speaker 5: Yeah, two people that are six inches from my face.
Speaker 1: It'd be such a passive, aggressive way to get them
Speaker 1: to stop. It's pretending you're so into it that you're
Speaker 1: ruining it. So how long did that guy do that
Speaker 1: the whole time?
Speaker 8: No, like the city ramped, Like he wasn't doing that
Speaker 8: during Black Crows. I think he was more of a
Speaker 8: casual fan there. But the show was like the Tom
Speaker 8: Petty part was so great that this kind of a
Speaker 8: ornate stained glass looking backdrop with all these pillars of
Speaker 8: stained glass, and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, wow, it's really beautiful.
Speaker 8: I'm subtle, and then it changes throughout the show and
Speaker 8: by the end of it, it's like, if you were
Speaker 8: on as that it would have been fucking incredible. It
Speaker 8: would have been you wouldn't have gotten out.
Speaker 4: Of your seat for sure.
Speaker 8: But it was so good and I love Tom Petty
Speaker 8: so much that my blood was it turned to fire
Speaker 8: and it took me days to calm down.
Speaker 1: And how old would you say that guy was?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: He was, you know, definitely in his fifties, the perfect
Speaker 4: or humorous, all sense of decorum and self.
Speaker 8: And it's a rough time for a guy. You can
Speaker 8: become a real piece of shit.
Speaker 5: You know a lot about being in your fifties and
Speaker 5: then you just peel off a mass give me like
Speaker 5: an older version of yourself.
Speaker 1: That's why he gets all those man cave commercials because
Speaker 1: he knows what a boomer feels like.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I am fifty, but I do get botox. So
Speaker 8: I'm living the dream.
Speaker 1: The La dream. Have you? Oh? Have you guys seen?
Speaker 1: I was shown a viral video yesterday because I've been
Speaker 1: on a social media hiatus, hiatus, and so my two
Speaker 1: friends came over and I was like, anything exciting happening
Speaker 1: on Twitter that I should know about?
Speaker 3: Have you guys are not even looking?
Speaker 4: No good for you.
Speaker 3: I thought you just weren't contributing, but you did? You know?
Speaker 3: You still want to get your news and everything?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I don't. I can get news anywhere,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to get the news. It's all
Speaker 1: fucking horrifying. But yeah, that woman that got rescued out
Speaker 1: of the canyon, but then her the basket that they
Speaker 1: put her in, did you see? That's holy shit? It
Speaker 1: was so as they drew her up into the helicopter, huh,
Speaker 1: the baskets starts spinning, and then it's spinning faster and
Speaker 1: faster and faster, and they can't they can't put it
Speaker 1: back down because as they start to lower it it
Speaker 1: spins even faster, and that motherfucking basket was spinning for
Speaker 1: like four minutes at top speed.
Speaker 4: It's amazing, It's crazy.
Speaker 3: She just was at the end. Now I'm also vomiting.
Speaker 1: Yes, but apparently she's fine and she just was dizzy
Speaker 1: and it all for.
Speaker 3: A week.
Speaker 1: They ended up having to fly away with the basket
Speaker 1: hanging under the helicopter so that it would stop spinning,
Speaker 1: which is scary.
Speaker 4: You've got to pay for the helicopter ride. Anyway, I
Speaker 4: feel like, leave me hanging down and keep me spinning
Speaker 4: for a while. Yeah that sounds.
Speaker 8: I love roller coasters, and you know, getting truly disoriented
Speaker 8: is it's pretty sure, pretty.
Speaker 5: Excited roller coaster that I can get on anything. We
Speaker 5: called it the Rocco planes, but whatever. When it was
Speaker 5: when it's a ferris wheel with cars that flip, but
Speaker 5: if it's spinning, even a children's teacup ride, I will vomit.
Speaker 5: And I vomited it pivotal points in my life where
Speaker 5: I'm just making friends. Yeah, domited right over them. They
Speaker 5: stole are my friends to today. But the girl I
Speaker 5: was dating broke up with me.
Speaker 1: She wasn't into your vomits.
Speaker 3: That Monday. She just is like, I can't believe you're
Speaker 3: a vomitter.
Speaker 1: Get away from me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a strong stomach, No you don't.
Speaker 3: In most cases, it was spinning. I was in the pool.
Speaker 4: That's the other thing about like reflexes is as you
Speaker 4: eventually you lose enough inner ear fluid where your balance
Speaker 4: is never the same. Oh no, irrecoverable.
Speaker 1: That's horrifying.
Speaker 4: And one day you're you know, you hop on that
Speaker 4: coaster and it is barf City, USA.
Speaker 1: And you can't move away. You are a citizen of
Speaker 1: Barf City.
Speaker 3: You've become the mayor of Barftown.
Speaker 8: My mom is very she'd throw up off ferris wheel.
Speaker 4: You know, we're on the ferris wheel. Give her our
Speaker 4: time about it.
Speaker 8: And then after you know, we finally land and she
Speaker 8: goes Barf's in the bathroom, just the you know, that
Speaker 8: sad look on your face.
Speaker 4: After you you throw up and you just feel bad.
Speaker 4: You don't feel good usually, Yeah, that's that. I felt horrible.
Speaker 3: I felt horrible.
Speaker 4: So we pushed her too far.
Speaker 1: Also, it's fine if that's happening to you, but your
Speaker 1: mom is the person that makes that stop for you.
Speaker 1: So to see your mom felled that way is terrible.
Speaker 5: I was still mad my parents made me play trombone.
Speaker 5: But one time my mom picked me up at school
Speaker 5: and she said, I'll carry your trombone. And then she
Speaker 5: slipped on the ice because she was holding a trombone
Speaker 5: and bruised her tailbone, and I just really felt awful
Speaker 5: and I wanted to bring that up.
Speaker 1: You quit, yeah, good, another one of those you quit
Speaker 1: trombone after that.
Speaker 3: Though, Yeah, yeah, oh I'm done, done, good, good smart.
Speaker 5: It's terrible to watch your mom slip on the ice
Speaker 5: holding your trombone.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me or anything?
Speaker 8: She would have caught herself if she wasn't holding your
Speaker 8: fucking trombone.
Speaker 1: I know she would have been a little whoo woo
Speaker 1: woa for her arms out like a taped answer.
Speaker 3: At least I could have been good at playing it.
Speaker 3: But I wasn't even good.
Speaker 1: God, none of that was worth it.
Speaker 3: Didn't practice. I forged a lot of my practice.
Speaker 4: She would a wasted opportunity.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I could have been in a ska band.
Speaker 4: A ska band I've never met all. You're never just
Speaker 4: one sky.
Speaker 3: You're a trombone guy. You're spread pretty thin. All over
Speaker 3: Moon Records.
Speaker 1: You're gigging, You're gigg Paul, Can you play an instrument?
Speaker 4: I can play the guitar a little.
Speaker 1: Bit like what Eagles level? Are we talking John mottneyor no.
Speaker 4: Like Eagles level?
Speaker 8: M hm, definitely a lot of like like John Prine
Speaker 8: and Robert Earl Keane.
Speaker 4: I told her.
Speaker 1: John Prine writes some of the best three chord songs.
Speaker 8: Of all time. Yeah, you feel like you're doing a
Speaker 8: good job. And it's really simple.
Speaker 1: Yes, he covers up those sweet lyrics with the simplest
Speaker 1: chord structure ever.
Speaker 8: So it's just yeah, I can actually play it, you
Speaker 8: know what. And this is a proud achievement. I finally
Speaker 8: have been able to play a B chord without completely fucking.
Speaker 1: It up and stopping the song for four full seconds.
Speaker 8: Yeah, now it's down to two and I feel like
Speaker 8: that is stylistic.
Speaker 3: At this point, I don't know what a B chord is.
Speaker 3: Why is it hard?
Speaker 1: It's a bar chord. H So you have to like,
Speaker 1: if I'm can correct me, if I'm mom, Paul, well,
Speaker 1: why is it hard for you? You answer, it's hard?
Speaker 8: So the you have to bar the top fret with
Speaker 8: your index finger. And then you have to get three
Speaker 8: other strings right next to each other, all pressed down,
Speaker 8: and you have to get them pressed right up against the.
Speaker 4: Fret bar otherwise it buzzes.
Speaker 8: Yeah, you like you kind of sit on the last
Speaker 8: string and it has a flat sound.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like going like this, and you
Speaker 1: practice it and you do it wrong for the first
Speaker 1: forty thousand times you do it, and then finally your
Speaker 1: hand does it right and it's like, not your it's
Speaker 1: not even about you. You don't really know why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but suddenly it's doing it right, and it's so it's uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: it's weird, it hurts your hand, and congratulations, I'm glad
Speaker 1: you're passing point.
Speaker 8: Oh I couldn't be. I would avoid songs that had
Speaker 8: b chords in it. And I was like, oh, well,
Speaker 8: I guess I'm never learning James Taylor's Mexico.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what cables are for. And you just change that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you change what key it's in, and then you just
Speaker 1: use a cabo or like, yeah, I've never used I
Speaker 1: never do bar chords because I hate him.
Speaker 4: It's so challenging.
Speaker 8: I use a capo and I'm trying to learn about
Speaker 8: you know, translating up and down with different.
Speaker 4: Having the guitar tune at different keys out my spot.
Speaker 3: No, No, you're good, you're good. You already have people
Speaker 3: trying to kill you from up there. Yeah, there's no
Speaker 3: one's going to bring anything new to this street.
Speaker 4: No, that's true.
Speaker 1: Maybe people will come and help you.
Speaker 3: You're danger honey.
Speaker 8: Well, it's so funny because it's such a thoroughly gentrified neighborhood. Yeah,
Speaker 8: this little micro palace. Yeah, it used to be a
Speaker 8: six hundred square foot single room house and they leveled
Speaker 8: it and dug down a level.
Speaker 4: It's like a three story baby.
Speaker 3: Mixed feelings about it.
Speaker 5: I like how it's modern and boxy, but then also
Speaker 5: made of found wood.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks cool. It's quite styler.
Speaker 5: Is found at a store because it's no, they.
Speaker 4: Might have knocked our church down for its wood.
Speaker 1: You never worth it? Worth it to me?
Speaker 3: Well, is it safe to drop you off in front?
Speaker 4: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: It'll be cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so far, so good.
Speaker 1: Do you have any plugs or things coming up? There
Speaker 1: are things you want people to know about you.
Speaker 8: I always encourage people to listen to my wonderful stand
Speaker 8: up comedy album.
Speaker 1: I was there when it was recorded. Thank you for coming,
Speaker 1: of course, I'm your fan.
Speaker 3: What is it? What did you call it?
Speaker 8: It's called dank oh yeah, oh yeah, kind of like
Speaker 8: my last name.
Speaker 4: But also it's a drug reference.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, is it?
Speaker 3: Is that? What that is? I thought it was about
Speaker 3: the weather.
Speaker 8: Well, more like describe a bog or unfinished basement. Sure,
Speaker 8: a lot of evocative qualities that.
Speaker 3: I like to fish.
Speaker 8: There's a real smell, that's right, Yes, yes, yes, it
Speaker 8: is musty.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was messed on the tracks.
Speaker 8: There were other there were two people at the recording
Speaker 8: that were dressed up like the Big Lebowski because it
Speaker 8: happened to be on the same day as Lebowski Fest.
Speaker 3: Oh that's terrific.
Speaker 8: And these like friends of family friends, I really know
Speaker 8: these people. They were in town at Lebowski Fest and
Speaker 8: they came to it just as the Big Lebowski. And
Speaker 8: it still I always have this picture in my mind
Speaker 8: of speaking the words and just looking at two people
Speaker 8: trust like the dude, and it was just so beyond amusing.
Speaker 3: I wish that was a on video special so people
Speaker 3: could see that and have it never be explained to them.
Speaker 4: I'm an next time I record when I will encourage
Speaker 4: a couple of people to dress up like.
Speaker 1: The dude, ye come down and like that's what you need.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it helps. It certainly cuts me up.
Speaker 1: Sets a tone for sure.
Speaker 4: Oh god, yeah, you get a wild peacock to me
Speaker 4: under around?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well that show is over.
Speaker 5: You know there was a comedy show with a peacock
Speaker 5: in the backyard, right, really, Yes, that Lily Hammered show
Speaker 5: those guys from the south that we're here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's brilliant.
Speaker 5: There was a giant cock in the back and he
Speaker 5: was his house basically, was I get the guy was
Speaker 5: in prison?
Speaker 3: I asked the neighbors about.
Speaker 5: There was like a Jaguar that they obviously didn't have
Speaker 5: the keys to. It was a nice car, but the
Speaker 5: tires were flat and the roof was open.
Speaker 3: It had a sun roof.
Speaker 5: And the peacock, which is for years, had been shitting
Speaker 5: into the car.
Speaker 3: It was just covered with peacock shit inside. Nice car.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and just a beautiful but very prone to violent bird.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet not like people.
Speaker 4: When you're that beautiful, you can't help but be a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 1: You don't have to like people. They like you so much. Paul,
Speaker 1: what about squat Milt, do you want to give your is?
Speaker 4: Are you on it?
Speaker 1: Are you like one of the co hosts?
Speaker 8: You know, I've hosted it for Howard a couple of times.
Speaker 8: He'll have to leave for whatever reason. I've got to
Speaker 8: step in, and it's always really fun. I encourage people
Speaker 8: to go even if I'm not performing it. Oh okay,
Speaker 8: I'm not at all of them.
Speaker 1: But what night is it? Wednesday nights? And where do
Speaker 1: you have to go? Into some kind of a website
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 4: You know what I would follow Howard Kramer? Yeah, those ideas.
Speaker 4: Let me plug his twittery.
Speaker 1: I mean, you are good one.
Speaker 8: And yeah, it's it's a really great thing. It's really
Speaker 8: fun cool. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for taking a ride with
Speaker 1: us today. This is really summertime, chill.
Speaker 4: Thanks for the ride. This was great and thanks Shelley
Speaker 4: for the Arnold, Paul Homer.
Speaker 1: For the Arnold, Thank you Arnold for the Shelley Caler.
Speaker 3: You've been listening to. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: D Y N A R.
Speaker 1: I leave you wanna way back?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you clean. Give us time and a Turmanol
Speaker 2: and gay we.
Speaker 1: Want to send you off. Instead, we want to welcome
Speaker 1: you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about.
Speaker 1: It, really scared? Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris