Speaker 1: Kesha and the Creepies is a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: There are people that I know who who are MA
Speaker 1: since who have gone through the initiation process, and I
Speaker 1: can see the difference in them as they've gone through
Speaker 1: the different steps, you know, because it all it's also
Speaker 1: perflection again, you know, it's like what I was talking
Speaker 1: about earlier with the bathing of the lingom. It's like
Speaker 1: another way of like recognizing the self. And there's there's
Speaker 1: an actual death ritual in their initiation, like a symbolic
Speaker 1: death that you must go through to become a Masturmason.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Kesha and the Creepies today. I am
Speaker 1: very excited to welcome my next guest. This is Robert Ryan.
Speaker 1: He's an amazing artist, tattoo artist and friend. How are you.
Speaker 1: I'm doing well, it's great that do you What else
Speaker 1: would you like to add to your job description? My resume?
Speaker 1: What's your resume? A visual artist that happens to have
Speaker 1: a temple for Lord Shiva in his backyard in New Jersey,
Speaker 1: which you're sitting in right now. I think right I'm
Speaker 1: sitting in the temple right now. You can see there's
Speaker 1: this Shiva lingam is right behind me and uh next
Speaker 1: to me, and some of the things that we've talked
Speaker 1: about before, um, when I was tattooing you and just
Speaker 1: friendly conversation, I had to do with some of you know,
Speaker 1: like the traveling that I had done spiritually or some
Speaker 1: of the pilgrimages that I need, So that that's definitely
Speaker 1: an aspect. But primarily I'm a tattoo artist from New Jersey,
Speaker 1: but you're so much more than just a tattoo artist
Speaker 1: from New Jersey. Being a tattoo artist from New Jersey
Speaker 1: is a pretty high It's pretty high in the evolutionary
Speaker 1: cheam that you have to go through to become just that. Man,
Speaker 1: It's like, it's insane. Well, you're the finest tattoo artist
Speaker 1: in New Jersey. How have you been holding up during
Speaker 1: this insane time? It's actually been the most productive, most
Speaker 1: beneficial time in my life, which I feel kind of
Speaker 1: guilty saying. But I don't feel guilty saying it at all.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not The suffering that we're all going
Speaker 1: through collectively isn't lost on me, but you know, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to use it to temper my own awareness in life.
Speaker 1: I have not stopped going and going and going for
Speaker 1: since I was twenty one years old, and it just
Speaker 1: was such a crazy experience. Getting used to not being
Speaker 1: really really stressed out every day was so weird, and
Speaker 1: I'm still adjusting to it. Like waking up and not
Speaker 1: being in a panic feels really strange. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel the same way as you. Like,
Speaker 1: it's not lost on me that this is a horrible
Speaker 1: time for a lot of people and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of loss and a lot of grief, but being able
Speaker 1: to be with myself for a moment has been beneficial,
Speaker 1: I think. Yeah. I think also the sobering factor of like,
Speaker 1: you know, like we're always kind of trying to dodge
Speaker 1: the inevitable of death. You know, it's like a tiger
Speaker 1: that's like waiting in a bush our entire lives and
Speaker 1: we know it's there, but we kind of tiptoe around
Speaker 1: it and then like to have it kind of like
Speaker 1: just knowing that, like there's a very good chance that
Speaker 1: you're going to be infected with a disease that could
Speaker 1: kill you anytime you leave your house, and to put
Speaker 1: something in a different kind of perspective where the mundane
Speaker 1: or banal or like trivial can become very extraordinary, you know.
Speaker 1: Or the simple things in life you can find like
Speaker 1: a lot more value and things when you're able to
Speaker 1: see it through that kind of filter. For me, I'm
Speaker 1: appreciating every little thing so much more. And also, weirdly,
Speaker 1: I've had this urge to just get rid of most
Speaker 1: of the stuff I've accumulated over the past twenty years,
Speaker 1: and I've finally opened a box and being like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I remember that from when I was nineteen
Speaker 1: years old. I haven't seen it since now, like selling
Speaker 1: my stuff on eBay, because it's bringing all the people
Speaker 1: that I would be on tour with, like they have
Speaker 1: a little tiny pieces something that's from my history, and
Speaker 1: it's making space for newness. Yeah, it's like spring cleaning
Speaker 1: and uh, it's also like an audience on all the
Speaker 1: things that we accumulate through life when whenever we get
Speaker 1: a chance to do that, I think it's like, it's
Speaker 1: very surprising, you know how much things kind of just
Speaker 1: attached themselves to us. Well, I love stuff like I
Speaker 1: love like so many pairs of shoes, I have so
Speaker 1: many couches, I have a lot of cats. But I'm
Speaker 1: keeping the cats like I just my mom put it
Speaker 1: in a really funny way. She's like, well, we used
Speaker 1: to um hunt and gather. We're just really good gatherers.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm like a plus gatherer. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We don't really have to hunt too much anymore, you know,
Speaker 1: like the meals are prepared for us, so we can
Speaker 1: you know, like everything's accessible and I'm market but we
Speaker 1: still have that urge to gather. Oh, I can gather
Speaker 1: like a motherfucker. So for those of you listening, I've
Speaker 1: gotten two tattoos from Robert. One is on my foot.
Speaker 1: It's a rainbow and clouds in an eyeball, and he
Speaker 1: also did the blue tiger crawling up my ribs and
Speaker 1: that was the most painful thing in the entire world.
Speaker 1: I love both of the tattoos. You gave me feel
Speaker 1: really special. They feel magical, and it's hard to describe
Speaker 1: because I didn't realize kind of the gravity of how
Speaker 1: spiritual a tattoo can be. For me. It was just
Speaker 1: kind of a fun thing I would do. If I
Speaker 1: was having on a fun night, I'd get a tattoo.
Speaker 1: Is more like party scars or fun memories, and like
Speaker 1: getting a stamp on my wrist of like that was
Speaker 1: that night that I had so much fun and then
Speaker 1: I met you and Brad was telling me all about
Speaker 1: Dan Higgs. And there's a whole lineage behind what you
Speaker 1: do and the kind of tattoos you do. They're classic,
Speaker 1: but they feel spiritual and they look spiritual. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: because I know you, but they feel like their own genre. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm not a tattoo artist, so I don't know the
Speaker 1: terminology perfectly, but I feel like you've kind of created
Speaker 1: your own style. Yeah, thank you, thank you for saying that. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it is part of the lineage of tattoos that
Speaker 1: in America. We'll go back even further, we'll go back
Speaker 1: to tattooing and it's origin, you know, which I think
Speaker 1: goes as far back as the oldest remains had had markings,
Speaker 1: had tattoos, you know. So, Um, the Iceman was one
Speaker 1: of them. The mummified body that they found, he had
Speaker 1: like different markings and those were more to represent maybe
Speaker 1: if he had any kind of ownership of land or
Speaker 1: perhaps what he did, like if it had something to
Speaker 1: do with agriculture or something like that. But it's still
Speaker 1: with symbolism, you know, and uh, I think the intrinsic
Speaker 1: desire to mark one's body kind of goes back to
Speaker 1: the very beginnings of mankind. And it's not always in tattooing,
Speaker 1: you see it, you know, with through like makeup or
Speaker 1: face painting or piercing, or sometimes they'll put things underneath
Speaker 1: their skin, you know in certain tribes, or you know,
Speaker 1: like a you know, at a disk in the nose
Speaker 1: or things like that, and it's just like a decoration
Speaker 1: of the temple, you know, of this temple being the body.
Speaker 1: And so I think there were some American tattoos that
Speaker 1: were able to kind of tap into that same kind
Speaker 1: of energy without it becoming like to I don't know,
Speaker 1: like they weren't trying to be these like modern primitive
Speaker 1: kind of tattoos where that kind of came a little
Speaker 1: bit later, but they were still tapping into that like
Speaker 1: kind of primal raw energy. And the thing that was
Speaker 1: like kind of struck me about them and how I
Speaker 1: kind of like fell in love with this lineage and
Speaker 1: then was eventually like kind of initiated into it. Where
Speaker 1: these guys that weren't they weren't military tattooers, they weren't
Speaker 1: like sailors, and they weren't like greasers or hot rod guys,
Speaker 1: and they weren't like rock and roll guys. You know,
Speaker 1: they were just like these kind of like almost beat
Speaker 1: poet kind of philosophical people that started tattooing, you know,
Speaker 1: so I call them like the poetic tattoos. So guys
Speaker 1: like Tom de Vito and Dan Tiggs and Nick Boubash
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, philosophical kind of tattoo artists or
Speaker 1: poetic where you know, there's different kind of poetic tattooing
Speaker 1: and other kind of looks too, But I feel like
Speaker 1: it's almost like that I kind of associated with the beats,
Speaker 1: and then maybe you know, before the beats, the dada,
Speaker 1: you know, it's using the symbols, but then also obstracting them.
Speaker 1: So there's some abstractions and involved as well. And it's
Speaker 1: just like it's basically just not coming from these these
Speaker 1: genres that have always been in tattooing, like the sailors
Speaker 1: and the greasers and the hot rod kind of people,
Speaker 1: or you know, there's all different kinds of stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, there's people that were maybe looking for tattoo
Speaker 1: is maybe the kind of more focus on themselves rather
Speaker 1: than align themselves with a certain kind of occupation or
Speaker 1: you know, patriotism or something like that, right, because sometimes
Speaker 1: I would see The first time I got a tattoo,
Speaker 1: by the way, was when I was in Cuba and
Speaker 1: I was walking around. My brother was like, you can't
Speaker 1: go to Cuba, and I was like, well, now I
Speaker 1: have to go to Cuba. So I went to Cuba
Speaker 1: through Mexico, ended up walking around. I was supposed to
Speaker 1: be studying Spanish. I was not studying. I was studying
Speaker 1: how to run around and get sucked up and do
Speaker 1: crazy ship That's what I was there studying. And this
Speaker 1: guy was trying to sell a couch and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I don't need a couch, but do you
Speaker 1: have anything else cool? And he was like, do you
Speaker 1: want a tattoo? And I was like sure. So that's
Speaker 1: what my first tattoo was. I went up into his apartment.
Speaker 1: He boiled the needle in a pot. He was holding
Speaker 1: a baby tattooing at the same time, and that's my
Speaker 1: first tattoo. And ever since then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is like really special. It also helps jog my
Speaker 1: memory on my life more so, than anything else, Like
Speaker 1: more so than looking at pictures. I can look at
Speaker 1: a tattoo and be like, oh, that was that time.
Speaker 1: So it's almost like my timeline of my life is
Speaker 1: on my body. The other amazing mild markers for where
Speaker 1: you've been and where you're going, you know, and like
Speaker 1: and you know, like, I think they're really good to
Speaker 1: reflect onto. Yeah, some of the mine suck. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say mine too. And I never trust anyone that
Speaker 1: doesn't have a bad tattoo because true part of the evolution,
Speaker 1: and the people that only have good tattoos usually are
Speaker 1: kind of like more coming out of as the fashionable aspect,
Speaker 1: which I don't being wrong with, but they might not
Speaker 1: be trusted. There there's psychos. I can think of one person.
Speaker 1: You're totally right. He's a complete psycho, but he only
Speaker 1: has perfect tattoos. I would have to agree with you.
Speaker 1: All his suits are probably folded perfectly. Cloud and the
Speaker 1: like American psych go the best business card. It's so true. Well,
Speaker 1: then I'm really trustworthy according to that. If you're going
Speaker 1: by that, then I'm like the most trustworthy because I
Speaker 1: have so many like shitty tattoos. Because I met actual
Speaker 1: good tattoo artists only in the past couple of years
Speaker 1: of my life. Before that, it was just like a
Speaker 1: ship show. Can we go back to your first tattoo
Speaker 1: for because like that experience sounds incredible, you know. For one,
Speaker 1: it's the couches again following you, Like these couches are
Speaker 1: like magnets to you. And then the guy was boiling
Speaker 1: the tattoo needle and like that was the second you know,
Speaker 1: offering to you, like I can give you a couch.
Speaker 1: You don't want the couch, I could do a tattoo
Speaker 1: for you and a child. It's like and not your
Speaker 1: conventional tattoo first tattoo experience, which I loved, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it's it's it's magic. You know, it was magic.
Speaker 1: It was super magical. And I did Cuba. I used
Speaker 1: to be so cool. I got an anchor that one
Speaker 1: I think holds up, but some of the other ones
Speaker 1: on my feet, like one on the same foot that
Speaker 1: you tattooed. That's just like mush. It turned to mush,
Speaker 1: like immediately, I'm just gonna let it live. What else
Speaker 1: can you do? You can go over it, I guess, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, or just move on. Just your body it's true.
Speaker 1: Who cares, It's just going to disintegrate and turned into
Speaker 1: probably like a mushroom at some point. So whatever. If
Speaker 1: we're lucky, yeah, if we're lucky because you're in your temple,
Speaker 1: do you mind talking about you said Shiva's behind you? Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 1: The Shiva Lingham is the main altar in the temple
Speaker 1: that we worship here, and that's the un manifested version
Speaker 1: of Lord Shiva, the god Shiva. And loose interpretation, or
Speaker 1: it's actually pretty precise interpretation in English, is the consciousness
Speaker 1: of infinite goodness. So the sea Lingom for people that
Speaker 1: are listening, I'll just describe it more more than look
Speaker 1: at it. It's the shape of an egg, and it's
Speaker 1: it contains all the aspects of universal consciousness within it,
Speaker 1: you know. It's like the egg. It holds any kind
Speaker 1: of potentiality, any kind of awareness can be accessed through
Speaker 1: the consciousness of infinite goodness. And at its face is
Speaker 1: what's called the yoni. So it's a male female single
Speaker 1: you know. So the yoni is the base and the
Speaker 1: male which have kind of a fallus shape. A lot
Speaker 1: of people get really attached to that idea. It's not
Speaker 1: it's just one of the it's you know, because it's
Speaker 1: symbolizing all consciousness. It has a male and female, but
Speaker 1: also has nature and consciousness. It also has cosmic and
Speaker 1: you know, the terror form any of the dualities. You know,
Speaker 1: terror form the earth Earth, so you know it's it's
Speaker 1: of the earth, but it's also of the of the cosmos.
Speaker 1: It's you know, of the water, and it's also you know,
Speaker 1: of the dry land. It's it's of the day and
Speaker 1: of the night. It's of the males, of the female,
Speaker 1: it's of you know, it unites all those, all those
Speaker 1: kind of concepts because it's none It represents non dual bliss.
Speaker 1: So it's when the male and the female aspects are united,
Speaker 1: then you have the consciousness of infinite goodness. That's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Is it kind of like a yin and yang kind
Speaker 1: of thing? Absolutely? Yeah, No, it's absolutely the same thing
Speaker 1: as the saying it's a stone too. I should mention
Speaker 1: it's understood this one of the oldest things that have
Speaker 1: been worshiped on the planet. You know. Someone just kind
Speaker 1: of started reflecting on the idea that that the stone
Speaker 1: was consciousness, you know, and from there kind of developed
Speaker 1: further and that is part of like your religion or
Speaker 1: your spirit actuality, or just your consciousness. Would you call
Speaker 1: yourself religious or spiritual? Yeah, any of those things apply. Um, Honestly,
Speaker 1: the worship of the Lingham is self inquiry. The worship
Speaker 1: is actually consists of bathing Millingham in different kinds of
Speaker 1: space and offering flowers to it. And each stage of
Speaker 1: the worship is a representative aspect of your own spiritual path.
Speaker 1: And as you go through this process, you start to
Speaker 1: reflect on your own life in the worship of the stone,
Speaker 1: so you start to see yourself. You see the consciousness
Speaker 1: within yourself as the consciousness and the stone. I don't
Speaker 1: think my consciousness is there yet. I don't think my
Speaker 1: consciousness understands. I want to understand, but I don't think. So,
Speaker 1: you see yourself in the reflection of a piece of
Speaker 1: the earth. You're bathing your own self. And I'm saying self,
Speaker 1: not as the body as you you know, but your
Speaker 1: own self with the capitalists, you know, your true self,
Speaker 1: your your your soul. It's representative of bathing your soul
Speaker 1: as your bathing the stone. And you bathe the stone
Speaker 1: every day, right, Yeah, Because when we were there, we
Speaker 1: were talking about it. I remember that stuck out to
Speaker 1: me that it's something you take such good care of
Speaker 1: and you treat with such respect. It's not an animal
Speaker 1: or a baby, it's a stone, but just the level
Speaker 1: of respect and time can you developed love for it?
Speaker 1: And you're as you're doing that, you're training yourself should
Speaker 1: come out of the autopilot, come out of the heady
Speaker 1: kind of like judgment of the self and questioning of
Speaker 1: the self and the data yourself, and you you start
Speaker 1: to love yourself as you love the stone. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're seeing yourself in it, you're bathing yourself, You're
Speaker 1: seeing the reflection of your spiritual pursuit in the stone.
Speaker 1: It's a symbol, you know. I feel like for me
Speaker 1: at least, that's one of the hardest parts of being
Speaker 1: a person as self love. Like the way I speak
Speaker 1: to myself. I would never talk to somebody else as
Speaker 1: mean and link just impatiently as I talked to myself.
Speaker 1: It's one of the things I try to work on
Speaker 1: in therapy. But just like having like compassion for yourself
Speaker 1: the way you would have it for a child or
Speaker 1: an animal or anybody else. Yeah, So so in the
Speaker 1: philosophy you know, the same philosophy, which is non dual Shudism,
Speaker 1: is when I'm following this lineage, it explains those feelings
Speaker 1: that you're having for yourself when you're hard or yourself
Speaker 1: and when you're doubting yourself, and all those things they
Speaker 1: assign like that their demons, personal demons, you know, and
Speaker 1: each one of them have names, and one, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a name for self conceit and there's one for
Speaker 1: self deprecation as well, you know, and those are two
Speaker 1: like really heavy aspects of a lot of that we
Speaker 1: all do to ourselves, you know. Either we can be
Speaker 1: conceded and puffed up and arrogant, or we can be
Speaker 1: self deprecating, which is also very egoic. So all these
Speaker 1: things happened through the mind. So when when we're when
Speaker 1: I'm doing this bathing of the stone, is trying to
Speaker 1: get out of the mind and start opening up the heart.
Speaker 1: I think you said this. I might be quoting you
Speaker 1: at you, but so excuse me. If I'm quoted, are
Speaker 1: you adding me? No, there's somebody said it, and it
Speaker 1: may have been you, I'm not even sure. But the
Speaker 1: true piece and the goal is to come directly from
Speaker 1: the heart. I hope I said it because it sounds good,
Speaker 1: but I don't think. But but yeah, it is, it's
Speaker 1: and it's a heart opening thing. And these things like
Speaker 1: it's crazy what I'm talking about. I'm talking about bathing
Speaker 1: a stone every day. It sounds insane. These are things
Speaker 1: that aren't to be understood through the mind, because the
Speaker 1: mind is where all those complications come from. You get
Speaker 1: past the mind and you start to develop the consciousness
Speaker 1: and then the true self, you know, and then you
Speaker 1: start to see that in everything, not just yourself. You
Speaker 1: see it in your lover, you see it in your family,
Speaker 1: you see it in your coworkers, you see it and
Speaker 1: every instantaneous interaction that you have in the world. You
Speaker 1: start to see that consciousness and everything. And definitely I
Speaker 1: said earlier that the normal and the kind of mundane
Speaker 1: become extraordinary, you know, extraordinary, everything becomes charged with this love,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's you're building the love up through
Speaker 1: this discipline of pouring water and milk in flowers over
Speaker 1: the stone. I think that's so beautiful. And even just
Speaker 1: having a conversation with you, I'm not in the same
Speaker 1: place as you, but I feel how present you are
Speaker 1: being and how present I'm being, and for anyone who's listening,
Speaker 1: it's just like being here now, is this is it?
Speaker 1: Like this is the gift, this is life, and just
Speaker 1: taking a second to appreciate it. I guess, so thank
Speaker 1: you for taking the time to be here. And I
Speaker 1: just have to I have to keep reminding myself during
Speaker 1: this quarantine that like this is this is it. I'm
Speaker 1: not running towards or from anything, Like I'm just right
Speaker 1: here talking to somebody that I think is badass and
Speaker 1: I respect a lot, and I just I don't know,
Speaker 1: is that to stop in be present for a second,
Speaker 1: because anything else is total annihilation, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like the past is annihilated as soon as it becomes
Speaker 1: the past, and the future is annihilated because it hasn't
Speaker 1: happened yet, you know, it's into That's the only place
Speaker 1: we really can be. Here's the only place we've functioned properly,
Speaker 1: because if we dwell in the past or in the future,
Speaker 1: it's side tracks the whole mission, you know, but sidetracks
Speaker 1: the happiness. At least for me. I can always find
Speaker 1: something I did that was stupid, and I can always
Speaker 1: be nervous about something I'm going to do. So to
Speaker 1: be present is almost this year has been what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to learn how to be is just be more
Speaker 1: present because we don't know what's going to happen in
Speaker 1: the future, and nobody really foresaw this coming. So being
Speaker 1: present this year and coming from the heart, those are
Speaker 1: the two lessons I on and self love. So I
Speaker 1: guess there's three. Yeah, and then they're not mutually exclusive.
Speaker 1: All those things, each one kind of relies on the other. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they all go nicely together. It's like a triangle. So
Speaker 1: you know, if you have all three of them balanced nicely,
Speaker 1: then then you will, like a wild man once said,
Speaker 1: the ultimate goal is peace in the heart. Yeah that
Speaker 1: was your quote maybe or maybe I don't even know,
Speaker 1: Maybe I dreamed it. Maybe we that's our quote. We
Speaker 1: made it. Yeah, some wise people said sorry for wherever
Speaker 1: we please, your eze whoever, which may have been one
Speaker 1: of us. Um. So now that I've done just being
Speaker 1: excited and telling everybody how excited I have to talk
Speaker 1: to you. And you're just one of the more interesting
Speaker 1: human beings I know, and super open minded in a
Speaker 1: career that I, at least growing up, I thought was
Speaker 1: only of hardcore biker bitches, and like your whole attitude
Speaker 1: towards it is very different and it's refreshing because we
Speaker 1: can get tattoos and like talk spirituality and it's not
Speaker 1: odd at all. So it was I opening to me
Speaker 1: when we met. It's just a whole different experience. It's
Speaker 1: really cool. Thank you. I take that as a huge
Speaker 1: compliment because you know a lot of people and you
Speaker 1: have a lot of experiences, so that that means go
Speaker 1: out to me, and yeah, I came up through that
Speaker 1: all those modalities and tattooing, Like I worked for a
Speaker 1: pretty heavy duty biker and the magic was still always there,
Speaker 1: even with those weird kind of like interfaces that we
Speaker 1: would have to go through and like the posturing and
Speaker 1: all the weird ship it's still underneath it. All the
Speaker 1: tattoos were always like just kind of coming through, you know.
Speaker 1: And we're talking before just how like party tattoos or
Speaker 1: just like I worked in a tourist town, you know,
Speaker 1: so I was tattooed tourists all the time, and they
Speaker 1: would just kind of come in on autopilot and just
Speaker 1: like pick stuff out, not even knowing what they were getting.
Speaker 1: But something deep down I felt like it was always
Speaker 1: kind of like, uh, you know there there there's some
Speaker 1: seeds there, so some like something deeper that that that
Speaker 1: they're looking for, and I don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: and they might not know it is. What is happening
Speaker 1: right now, like in the moment that you're saying, it's
Speaker 1: kind of you know like and also especially now they're
Speaker 1: tattooing on TV just social media. It's a huge presence
Speaker 1: on there in a lot of circles and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but it's still there even beyond all that stuff too.
Speaker 1: What I found interesting is when you were talking about
Speaker 1: tattooing has been around since the sept kind of forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the oldest remains, So why did the oldest remains have
Speaker 1: tattooed on them? Like I said earlier that I think
Speaker 1: it was just like an inherent need to mark oneself,
Speaker 1: to adorn oneself. But I mean the physical like was
Speaker 1: it a dot, was it a circle? Was an iba?
Speaker 1: There were some lines? There were some lines, and I
Speaker 1: had read that it was like maybe some property that
Speaker 1: he might have owned, or maybe like a delineation of
Speaker 1: where he lived. You know, it was like under his knee.
Speaker 1: It was a man. But then like you see, like
Speaker 1: not too much later in different parts of the world,
Speaker 1: there's like way more elaborate stuff, you know, like stuff
Speaker 1: that kind of looks like the cave paintings in France. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like similar to that kind of look like
Speaker 1: the same kind of artwork that was being made on
Speaker 1: the caves they were making on themselves. I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about the power symbols and how there are a lot
Speaker 1: of tattoos you see on a lot of people and
Speaker 1: they just are recurring like eyeballs, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of crosses there in a lot of your tattoos, like
Speaker 1: a is it a mendola? Yeah, yeah, herds, daggers, snakes, swords,
Speaker 1: naked ladies. And it's just kind of wondering if, hey,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite thing to like tattoo on somebody that
Speaker 1: is just getting like a souvenir tattoo that you know
Speaker 1: is a very powerful symbol, but maybe they don't even
Speaker 1: know it, but you know it. Well. Yeah, any of
Speaker 1: that stuff from the American traditional, the classic American traditional
Speaker 1: cannon of images, I think is really like a useful
Speaker 1: codex of these just just and it's also like a
Speaker 1: great because like it was such a like kind of
Speaker 1: rough and crude approach to doing the work. But people
Speaker 1: were finally starting to get pictures like kind of shaded
Speaker 1: and colored on them and stuff like that. Several things
Speaker 1: really stripped down to was like really like raw form.
Speaker 1: So like you know, like you said, like you said,
Speaker 1: you see like a tiger through a skull. I think
Speaker 1: a skull might be one of my favorite images. And
Speaker 1: a lot of people see that as a negative image,
Speaker 1: but I don't see it as negative at all. Um.
Speaker 1: I think it's a very positive to be able to
Speaker 1: reflect on the impermanence of life, you know, and like
Speaker 1: you know, you think about Shakespeare has a skull, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, yeah, just like it's the existential crisis of mankind.
Speaker 1: You know, Yes, I know that very well. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's the one of the main things that drives
Speaker 1: me to make art and drives most people to do
Speaker 1: most things, is the existential crisis of Like you said,
Speaker 1: I love that, like the tiger and the bushes waiting
Speaker 1: like it's gonna happen. You're we're all going to die.
Speaker 1: It's the only thing we for sure know, and it's
Speaker 1: terrifying because we don't know what that means, so we
Speaker 1: scramble around our whole lives trying to like create a
Speaker 1: legacy or have children, or leave a positive impact. Or
Speaker 1: some people are just like burn it down. You see
Speaker 1: that in politics just some people are like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be dead, so I'm just gonna get what I
Speaker 1: need today right now, what I want, money, power, oil,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. So I just feel like it's going
Speaker 1: to be the constant. It's going to be the infinite battle.
Speaker 1: It's like Star Wars, It's the infinite battle between light
Speaker 1: and dark. And I think it mostly always comes back
Speaker 1: to the fact that nobody really wants to die. But
Speaker 1: like me personally, I don't want to die, but I
Speaker 1: also don't want to live forever. That sounds exhausting now,
Speaker 1: and then you have to think of like what dies,
Speaker 1: you know, Like does your soul die? I don't think
Speaker 1: it does. Um your body dies? Are you your body?
Speaker 1: I don't think you are? You know? Like I Oh,
Speaker 1: I think that it's like a it's like a a housing,
Speaker 1: like um, I feel like the outside. I like to
Speaker 1: think of it like I'm a Christmas tree and all
Speaker 1: the tattoos are my ornaments, yes, yes, yea or or
Speaker 1: you're the temple, but what like, what happens inside the
Speaker 1: temple is what's really important. You can adorn it, you
Speaker 1: can build it however you want. You can make the
Speaker 1: cathedral as beautiful as you want, But what happens inside
Speaker 1: the cathedral what's important? Seeing what the soul and the body? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's just like a husk, and we can shop,
Speaker 1: we cast to the side, you know, because that's where again,
Speaker 1: where we're talking about existential crisis is. You know, the
Speaker 1: body consciousness is a huge each problem. You know when
Speaker 1: you when you you start identifying as the body, you're
Speaker 1: going to run into all kinds of situations. You know,
Speaker 1: as a woman in pop music, I know about that,
Speaker 1: and it's something that I just like, it's exhausting. But
Speaker 1: then I finally have gotten to this point where I'm
Speaker 1: just a Christmas tree now and I like thinking about
Speaker 1: myself like that because this is the housing for my soul.
Speaker 1: And if you get too caught up in it, then
Speaker 1: you're focusing on the wrong ship. You're not focusing on
Speaker 1: the power that's inside the temple. I think a Christmas
Speaker 1: tree is an excellent analogy. You keep decorating it and
Speaker 1: then you know, keep leaving presence underneath it, and you
Speaker 1: know you're giving to the world, and then you put
Speaker 1: it on the curb. Come like January quill, No, that's
Speaker 1: so sad. The Christmas tree depth parade is so sad.
Speaker 1: But that's basically what we're doing. And then you know,
Speaker 1: another you take on another one, and you decorate it
Speaker 1: and make the presents and you have dinner around it,
Speaker 1: and then that's gone to the curve, and you know,
Speaker 1: keeps happening, keeps happening. What's important is what the tree means,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, so that's kind of like the stone
Speaker 1: you're talking about, Lingam, Siva, Lingam. Just in this brief conversation,
Speaker 1: I feel like I understand the stone more do Sheva
Speaker 1: Lincom time I see you, I'm gonna give you a
Speaker 1: little one. Oh my god. It's what if it's like
Speaker 1: a tomagotchi and I forget to like bathe it. I
Speaker 1: had a's like little toys that would beat you if
Speaker 1: you forgot to like electronically feed them. I had them
Speaker 1: in high school. All my tomagotchis died. The only thing
Speaker 1: that happens is that you're you're not bathing yourself it's
Speaker 1: just like not taking a bath to yourself. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't shower very much. After a while, you just start
Speaker 1: smelling like the material world. Okay, it's so true. I
Speaker 1: need to actually physically bathe more often. I like, sometimes
Speaker 1: we'll just be like, it's quarantine. Who am I trying
Speaker 1: to fool here? Nobody can smell me? And then in
Speaker 1: the same sentence, I'm like, no, I think I need
Speaker 1: to take a shower. Okay, when we're done, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take a shower. You've inspired me in many ways, but
Speaker 1: I did want to ask you if there were a
Speaker 1: couple things that were texting about that I've never heard
Speaker 1: the stories, and I thought, my listeners come here for
Speaker 1: all things creepy and unexplainable and just supernatural. And you
Speaker 1: told me that there was a psychic nun. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: psychic nun in Peru. And I have to know I
Speaker 1: don't know any I don't know anything else about this story.
Speaker 1: Just for everyone who's listening, I don't know about this.
Speaker 1: I just know there's a psychic nun. Okay. So my teacher,
Speaker 1: my guru, lived in Peru for a quite quite some time.
Speaker 1: I think he was there for over ten years he
Speaker 1: lived in the jungle and uh, he he was visiting
Speaker 1: a church one time that was in the city in Lima,
Speaker 1: and he said, this nun came up to him and
Speaker 1: grabbed him by this hand and said you're, um, oh,
Speaker 1: you're an evangelist. And he was like, I'm not an evangelist, no,
Speaker 1: I think you have any mistaken for someone else. And
Speaker 1: she's like, well, you're bringing a lot of people towards God.
Speaker 1: And he's a group, you know, he's a Abada group,
Speaker 1: and he's also a shaman you know, who lived in
Speaker 1: the jungle and works with the plants, and he brought
Speaker 1: a lot of people to God through the plants. So
Speaker 1: she was totally right. So they he developed a friendship
Speaker 1: with this nun and when I was there, he arranged
Speaker 1: a meeting with me and her, so he didn't come
Speaker 1: with me, but I had a translator because my Spanish
Speaker 1: isn't very good at all, and uh, we met this
Speaker 1: nun and she it was actually where the church is
Speaker 1: the black seat Thomas, who I don't know if you've
Speaker 1: seen Thomas up well, you have to look up to
Speaker 1: the black scene. So anyway, um, it's where he lived.
Speaker 1: So she brought me up into his room and stuff,
Speaker 1: which was really really powerful place I could tell where
Speaker 1: he actually lives, where he actually lived, where his bed was.
Speaker 1: They kind of kept it there. So upon meeting her,
Speaker 1: immediately she grabbed my hands and she held my hands
Speaker 1: and she said, and you're here, but you're not doing
Speaker 1: what you're supposed to be doing. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I felt horrible. And she's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know, and the translators explaining it, so there's a
Speaker 1: little bit of like delay. So I'm like kind of
Speaker 1: reflecting what she said, and she's like, no, tell him
Speaker 1: not to feel bad. I mean that he's not doing
Speaker 1: what is in his life that he was supposed to do.
Speaker 1: He was supposed to be a judge or a lawyer.
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, that doesn't sound right. And
Speaker 1: I was like uh, and she's like, what about a
Speaker 1: police the police? And I said, oh, my family, A
Speaker 1: lot of my family members were police, and it I
Speaker 1: was always told that I was going to be a
Speaker 1: cop when I was a kid, you know, and I
Speaker 1: never wanted to be. Oh, you know, probably when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I might wanted to be, but I didn't
Speaker 1: become a cop long story short. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't see you being a cop. No, but just
Speaker 1: in my family, like on both sides, both my mother's
Speaker 1: and my father's father's were both cops, and my father
Speaker 1: was cop, and I had some uncles that were and
Speaker 1: then um, my wife's family, there's cops and I'm surrounded
Speaker 1: by these law enforms. Well that's well, that's what she said.
Speaker 1: She grabbed my hands and she said, who in your
Speaker 1: family was a Mason? And I said my grandfather. That
Speaker 1: was someone who I was closest with, was my mom's father,
Speaker 1: and she said he was from a higher order. She's like,
Speaker 1: you come from a long line of templars, like Freemason,
Speaker 1: the Knights of Templar were you know, my grandfather was
Speaker 1: a Freemason. But she said, I came up. My whole
Speaker 1: lineage comes from these templars who were the ones who
Speaker 1: protected the pope, you know, and back that the old
Speaker 1: you know, ancient times. And uh, she held my hands
Speaker 1: and she was holding my hands and she said, what
Speaker 1: you do now you have electric in your hands, which
Speaker 1: was the tattooing and tattoo shop by the way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: electric tattoo exactly. So this is what you know, within
Speaker 1: maybe two minutes of meeting her, and then she brought
Speaker 1: me down to the tomb of St. Rosa, who was
Speaker 1: also buried at this in this monastery where I was at,
Speaker 1: and uh, she said, lay on on Rose's tomb, and
Speaker 1: she said, do you know the guy at Tree Monstra,
Speaker 1: which is a Vedic mantra. So I had no idea
Speaker 1: how she knew about it. She's a Peruvian nun in
Speaker 1: the Catholic feat And I said, I said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know the guy at True MANTRASA said, lay on Rose's
Speaker 1: tomb and chant the guy at True Mantra. So, you know,
Speaker 1: ten minutes now in this monastery and I'm laying on
Speaker 1: a saint's tomb on my back, chanting Vedic Indian mantra
Speaker 1: in Peru, in Lima, Peru. That sounds like it could
Speaker 1: have been transformative. How was this it was? It was,
Speaker 1: I mean like these are things that like when it's
Speaker 1: happening in the moment, it was kind of like going
Speaker 1: through it and then it's been with me for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I think about it. There's probably
Speaker 1: on a daily, almost daily basis, you know, how that
Speaker 1: this had something to do? You know, I'm still not
Speaker 1: quite sure what part of that path was, you know,
Speaker 1: And then she was telling me all kinds of other
Speaker 1: things as well, but like it was really that moment.
Speaker 1: There was something what's happening, you know, and and everything
Speaker 1: started to make sense about like the police. I was
Speaker 1: always like, why is why m I come from this
Speaker 1: cops family, you know, where all these cops and you
Speaker 1: know basically that I tried to be the opposite of
Speaker 1: that that makes sense, the rebellious, Yeah, miss I did
Speaker 1: that with music. My mom like wrote country music, and
Speaker 1: I was like, what's the total opposite super dancy pop
Speaker 1: where I like talk ship on top of it. It
Speaker 1: was like the opposite of classic old school country music.
Speaker 1: And now I've like fully come back around and been like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash all that's
Speaker 1: actually the best. It's actually my favorite. And I was
Speaker 1: just being rebellious. But she has right the electricity in
Speaker 1: your hands. She's right about that, And I'm not going
Speaker 1: to become a cop. But I was gonna ask you,
Speaker 1: I don't know about the top part, but now but
Speaker 1: I get it, like, you know, like the idea, you know,
Speaker 1: back when you're thinking about the Knights of Temple are
Speaker 1: and the Freemasons and ancient mystery schools and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: That's when the law was like moralities law. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like busting kids for smoking weed, you know, or like
Speaker 1: oppressing people. It's a different world. I feel like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wasn't there, but I assume it's a
Speaker 1: completely different world. But I actually don't know that much
Speaker 1: about the Freemason Like I know a little bit about it,
Speaker 1: but it has a lot of secrecy. Is it a religion,
Speaker 1: is it a it's a it's a it was a
Speaker 1: secret order, um, you know, which they you know, they
Speaker 1: consider it to be mysteries coming from the mystery schools,
Speaker 1: the ancient mystery schools of Egypt. And I'm not amazing personally.
Speaker 1: I only know of it from what has been kind
Speaker 1: of passed down through my family, which they're you're not
Speaker 1: really supposed to talk about. Well, you don't have to
Speaker 1: tell me. I'm just carious. It has to do with
Speaker 1: the building of the Great Temple. There's a great architect
Speaker 1: that that is like the master mason of the craft
Speaker 1: and the stages of his you kind of reflect the
Speaker 1: stages of his initiation through your own personal initiation, you know,
Speaker 1: things like that, and uh, you know, I was super
Speaker 1: interested in it once I found out, like I always
Speaker 1: knew my granddad was into it. But for me, I
Speaker 1: thought it was just like spaghetti dinners on the weekends,
Speaker 1: you know, and fundraising and stuff. That's what I kind
Speaker 1: of thought it was. I thought it was just like
Speaker 1: the dudes that wanted to get together and like party, Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: like get away from the ladies and get a little
Speaker 1: drunk with your boyfriends. That aspect I'm sure exists in it.
Speaker 1: But when there are people that take the degrees seriously
Speaker 1: and their initiatives, you know, and there are people that
Speaker 1: I know who who are Mason's who have gone through
Speaker 1: the initiation process, and I can see the difference in
Speaker 1: them as they've gone through the different steps, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's all it's also reflection again, you know. It's
Speaker 1: like what I was talking about earlier with the bathing
Speaker 1: of the lingom. It's like another way of like recognizing
Speaker 1: the self, you know, through this process. And there's there's
Speaker 1: an actual death ritual in their initiation, like a a
Speaker 1: symbolic death that you must go through to become a
Speaker 1: master Mason. A symbolic death ritual. Yeah, because the master
Speaker 1: Mason that was killed. I'm not going to mention his
Speaker 1: name because it's the esoteric c production even really talk about.
Speaker 1: So I'm not from the order, but what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say is that, uh, he was killed this this um,
Speaker 1: the master Mason, so they kind you have to go.
Speaker 1: It's like your death is like an egoic death, so
Speaker 1: you can take on the initiation to become degree interesting.
Speaker 1: I've always it's really weird. I did some of my
Speaker 1: very first recordings ever in a empty Masonic lodge in
Speaker 1: Santa Monica, like super close to where I'm living now,
Speaker 1: and I drive by it all the time, and I
Speaker 1: remember being in there at nighttime and I would just
Speaker 1: be walking around writing songs in this temple, and I
Speaker 1: just always was fascinated with it. There were so many
Speaker 1: very beautiful, interesting looking things and scrolls and wall hangings
Speaker 1: and all this really beautiful stuff, but I never went
Speaker 1: deep into what it was. Do you think it informed
Speaker 1: your music? I think that religion and all kinds of
Speaker 1: symbols and religion and growing up in the South, which
Speaker 1: was really religious, and I wanted to be really religious,
Speaker 1: and everybody that was popular, was really religious, but I
Speaker 1: was really spiritual, and that conflict of well, you're not
Speaker 1: a good Catholic or a good Christian if you believe
Speaker 1: in equal rights or things like that, where there were
Speaker 1: things I couldn't get past, Like I believe that loving
Speaker 1: someone else is beautiful and sacred and I don't care
Speaker 1: what your genitalia is like that is something I've known
Speaker 1: since I was like three years old, and so when
Speaker 1: I would go to church, I would cry. I would
Speaker 1: get on my knees and like cry and be like please,
Speaker 1: like help me understand what I don't get because I
Speaker 1: know love is good, but I and I want to
Speaker 1: believe in all of this and I want to be
Speaker 1: part of this whole thing. All these popular kids are
Speaker 1: so into I want to be part of it so bad.
Speaker 1: But I know that love is not bad. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter who what two people are in love, Like, I
Speaker 1: know it's not wrong, and I just could not justify.
Speaker 1: I couldn't get around it in my head. And from
Speaker 1: there then I started studying comparative religion and I wanted
Speaker 1: to I went to Columbia over the summer. That's like
Speaker 1: what I did for fun. As I sat in on
Speaker 1: college courses in Nashville, and then over the summer, I
Speaker 1: went to Columbia to study do you Comparative Religion? Because
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe there's just something I don't understand,
Speaker 1: like why do like the Baptist Church you can't do
Speaker 1: certain things and dinosaur bones are a test of test
Speaker 1: of faith and things like that, where I'd just be like,
Speaker 1: I don't understand. So I had to kind of come
Speaker 1: full circle and study all the religions and spiritualities and temples,
Speaker 1: and I've traveled all over the world and I'm so lucky,
Speaker 1: and I've kind of come to the conclusion that your
Speaker 1: spirituality comes from yourself and it's a connection to you
Speaker 1: and whatever you want to call it. It's really personal
Speaker 1: and it's really beautiful and to share it's amazing. But
Speaker 1: also it's not something. I feel like there's been so
Speaker 1: much death around religion that it's hard. Like even the
Speaker 1: word God. I think I said that earlier, there's so
Speaker 1: much baggage to the word God. M Yeah, like that's
Speaker 1: what I feel like I have a connection to, but
Speaker 1: it's a highly loaded term. So I just call it
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. Yeah, Well that's why
Speaker 1: I really like the consciousness of infinite goodness. You know
Speaker 1: that it's such a beautiful name for good or expression
Speaker 1: of God. I should say, um, I think that, you know. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: in that as time has worn on, we we've all
Speaker 1: kind of confused spirituality with priest craft, you know, and
Speaker 1: whenever the priests are telling you what God is to you,
Speaker 1: you're going to run into a lot of problems. And
Speaker 1: that's like one of the basis of a lot of
Speaker 1: the situations that we're seeing in Christianity. You know, when
Speaker 1: when someone's telling you they have the only way, you
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't believe them. Everyone has to find their own
Speaker 1: path with it and whatever feel like, you know, when
Speaker 1: your guts when someone feels really wrong or something feels
Speaker 1: really right. And it's just always felt really wrong in
Speaker 1: my like child insights that like because someone was gay,
Speaker 1: they shouldn't be allowed to be in that temple or
Speaker 1: that church. Like that to me just never made any
Speaker 1: sense and I could never reconcile that, and that kind
Speaker 1: of grew into being a huge topic of a lot
Speaker 1: of my music. And I just wanted to make a
Speaker 1: place that was super inclusive and safe for anyone to
Speaker 1: come and yeah, of course, get drunk if you want to,
Speaker 1: and dance because that's a high vibration too, and just
Speaker 1: celebrate the now like your life, celebrate your life. So
Speaker 1: it's a little bit like nihilistic, but it's also I
Speaker 1: don't know, just taking advantage of being alive and being
Speaker 1: excited about it. I think that's the thing I missed
Speaker 1: the most this year, is not being able to throw
Speaker 1: gigantic celebrations every night and call it a job. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think spirituality should ever have been like a
Speaker 1: dry thing, you know, like it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: a desert for people to go to for all their
Speaker 1: you know, their ways to go die. And it's also
Speaker 1: something like you don't have to go off into a cave,
Speaker 1: or you don't have to wear orange rope, or you
Speaker 1: don't have to build a temple in your back. You alred,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do any of this stuff. If
Speaker 1: you're moved to do any of those things, that's fine
Speaker 1: as well. But there's a concept of false renunciation. It's
Speaker 1: in the Bagagita um and Krishna talks about that. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like basically, you know the Gita at all, Are
Speaker 1: you Hindu or Are you not identified with any of it,
Speaker 1: particularly for all intents and purposes, Yes, because that's the
Speaker 1: lineage that I practice is through India. You know, we
Speaker 1: refer to it as as not in a dharma, which
Speaker 1: is the eternal duty. You know, this is our duties
Speaker 1: to understand our human birth. Hindu as a term that
Speaker 1: was kind of it was for the colonists, you know,
Speaker 1: that's the English referred to the Indian people from the
Speaker 1: Indu Valley, but it's used in India by Indian people
Speaker 1: and you know, it's like it's not insulting to call
Speaker 1: someone Hindu at all, neat people identify as Into. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so it along those that's that lineage. But the Boga
Speaker 1: Geith is one of the major works that people chant
Speaker 1: and read and reflect on in the Sonatona Dharma, and
Speaker 1: it's the story of a warrior who is about to
Speaker 1: go to war and he's the battle consists of families
Speaker 1: on both sides, and the warrior doesn't want to fight
Speaker 1: because his teachers and his cousins and uncles are on
Speaker 1: the other side of the battlefield and he doesn't see
Speaker 1: any point in it. And God Lord Krishna as God
Speaker 1: comes down and says the battle has already been fought.
Speaker 1: You have no deer a warrior. Do your duty and
Speaker 1: do be the best at it, you know. And what
Speaker 1: he what he's telling him to do is like it's
Speaker 1: masically a message of like, do what you do in
Speaker 1: your best way. I don't try to be anything else
Speaker 1: except what you cannot change. That's the hardest thing in life.
Speaker 1: I feel like accepting what you can't change and come
Speaker 1: to peace with things you can't know the answer to.
Speaker 1: For instance, earlier today, I was speaking with someone about
Speaker 1: extraterrestrial life and she was speaking about how she had
Speaker 1: made contact and through meditation chanting, And now I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with that because I want I want that experience.
Speaker 1: I want to see it, I want to feel it.
Speaker 1: Because the more I hear about extraterrestrials and people having
Speaker 1: a connection to God and reincarnation things like that, it
Speaker 1: just makes me feel a little more at peace knowing
Speaker 1: that there's something more to this, Like when I feel
Speaker 1: that God consciousness or you said infinite the consciousness of
Speaker 1: infinite goodness. Oh that's the name of the painting we
Speaker 1: got from you. Ye, holy sh it, Well we already
Speaker 1: we got it. In the house, speagure out out in
Speaker 1: the house thanks to you. So we're talking about what
Speaker 1: you can't change, you know, accepting what you can't change.
Speaker 1: But then you are also talking about aliens and UFOs
Speaker 1: and extra terrestrials, which is great subject to talk about.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just the things you can't change, and also
Speaker 1: the things you can't see, our touch or feel, and
Speaker 1: just believing in them because I know that there's something
Speaker 1: out there. Yeah. I think if you, if you want
Speaker 1: it hard enough, and if you if you so desire
Speaker 1: that it will manifest eventually in your life. You know,
Speaker 1: you just need to spend some more time with that.
Speaker 1: I was going through some really heavy sleep paralysis for
Speaker 1: a long time, and uh, it was happening more and
Speaker 1: more frequently, and it was really starting to kind of
Speaker 1: disturb me. And there were a few times where, like
Speaker 1: in the paralysis, I was starting to kind of feel
Speaker 1: like there were beings in the room with me. So
Speaker 1: that sounds so scary. See, I want it until I
Speaker 1: hear that, and then it sounds terrifying. It was scary
Speaker 1: because the physical part of it, but I didn't feel
Speaker 1: it was menacing at all. It was the loss of
Speaker 1: control of the body was super weird, you know. And
Speaker 1: I've heard other people has have had experiences where there
Speaker 1: was like some demonic things have thing like you know,
Speaker 1: you know, like a sucky bus on the chest kind
Speaker 1: of thing, or like you know, being held held actually
Speaker 1: held down by even it wasn't that for me. I
Speaker 1: felt like I was kind of brought into a different realm,
Speaker 1: like the room had changed and I couldn't move and
Speaker 1: there was nothing I could do about it. And when
Speaker 1: it would happen, I was getting freaked out less and less.
Speaker 1: You know, it's becoming a little bit more familiar with
Speaker 1: the with this phenomenon that was happening in my life.
Speaker 1: So this was like a reoccurring dream, Yeah, yeah, where
Speaker 1: it happened like, you know, maybe a month apart a
Speaker 1: few times, and it was happening a week apart, and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, it was happening every night.
Speaker 1: So in the moment when I when it was happening,
Speaker 1: when it was going down, I was becoming more and
Speaker 1: more comfortable in this environment of paralysis and with these
Speaker 1: possible entities in my room. But when I wasn't, when
Speaker 1: I would finally snap out of it and come out
Speaker 1: of it and come back into the dimension of being
Speaker 1: in my bed and like heading, I'd be so freaked out,
Speaker 1: and I didn't know. I just didn't know how to like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't really um if it was happening to me. Now,
Speaker 1: I think I would have a better hardware to like
Speaker 1: kind of deal with it, you know. I think my
Speaker 1: my focus and my attention could probably served me better.
Speaker 1: But then I was panicking. I was much younger, and uh,
Speaker 1: how how the whole thing kind of came to a culmination.
Speaker 1: I was in the sleep paralysis and I heard a
Speaker 1: car alarm going off in the background, and uh, I
Speaker 1: started focusing on the car alarm. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's really weird. It's car alarm and I can't move.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, the car alarms getting
Speaker 1: louder and louder. It was like, the car alarm is
Speaker 1: getting closer, ours moving closer to me? Why is the
Speaker 1: alarm coming closer to me? And it was getting so
Speaker 1: loud that the windows started to shake, and I broke
Speaker 1: out of the paralysis and I got up, and I
Speaker 1: put on a pair of pants and put him off backwards,
Speaker 1: and I went downstairs. I ran downstairs and roommates actually woke.
Speaker 1: Then we'll followed me outside and we all got to
Speaker 1: the front yard and we heard the noise and felt
Speaker 1: this vibration and it just trailed off and it was gone.
Speaker 1: And then I hadn't I had no sleep paralysis. From
Speaker 1: that point on, the police of your lineage came and
Speaker 1: took the demon away. There could be maybe you know
Speaker 1: the demon police, the demon police, they come into your dream.
Speaker 1: I wish I had some demon police in my lineage
Speaker 1: because I have crazy dreams, like crazy dreams where I'll
Speaker 1: just be like kicking, I'll be thrown punches, I'm screaming
Speaker 1: like fuck you in the middle of the night, and
Speaker 1: then it's like I'll have to get woken up and
Speaker 1: Brad will be like, are you okay. I'll be like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm really really mad at you because you I forget,
Speaker 1: but I'm really mad at you. And they'll be like,
Speaker 1: you can't be mad at me about dream stuff, like yes,
Speaker 1: I can, don't tell me what to do. That's like
Speaker 1: that happens like once a week in our household. Well,
Speaker 1: I think maybe that that that need that you're having,
Speaker 1: that feeling that you want to have with the with
Speaker 1: these extraterrestrials. Maybe that's where you're where you're having those experiences,
Speaker 1: you know, like because I think the dreaming, the waking,
Speaker 1: and the deep sleep state, those three states are all
Speaker 1: tied together, and we compartmentalize them in a way that
Speaker 1: doesn't serve us well, you know, because I think we're
Speaker 1: getting we're getting a lot through our dreams, and we're
Speaker 1: getting a lot through deep sleep, and we're getting a
Speaker 1: lot when we're awake. And I don't think it ends
Speaker 1: just because you lay down, you know. I think that's
Speaker 1: huge actually that you're having these things happen to you,
Speaker 1: because if there's awareness happening when the mind is turned off,
Speaker 1: that's really really efficient. It's exhausting when I have nightmares,
Speaker 1: because I'll go to sleep and I'll wake up kind
Speaker 1: of like you were saying, like just like trying to
Speaker 1: yell and fight my way out of a dream. And
Speaker 1: then then when I wake up, it's like morning time
Speaker 1: and time to do the day, and I'm like, damn it,
Speaker 1: I've been like fighting monsters for eight hours. Now, I
Speaker 1: need to actually go to sleep and dream about like kittens.
Speaker 1: That's that's why when you're on the served, you're you're
Speaker 1: a piece, you know, but I think, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you're sharpening the store for your daily daily duties in
Speaker 1: the in the dream stay in the dream world. I
Speaker 1: feel like the extra terrestrials, I'm like sending them an
Speaker 1: invite into my brain. And at the same time, I'm
Speaker 1: scared because it's freaky. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Speaker 1: You think you've met an extra terrestrial, like for sure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't scary. You weren't scared. I think, Okay,
Speaker 1: this might not be a popular belief. I think I've
Speaker 1: met them in my day to day interactions and they
Speaker 1: just seemed like they were they were human, but they weren't,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like my mom swears she's
Speaker 1: part alien, and she's not joking. She's like, I swear
Speaker 1: to God, there's like in her ancestor there's some sort
Speaker 1: of like interbreeding with extraterrestrials. Not joking, yea, like the
Speaker 1: Anna Knochi or something like that. You know, there's like
Speaker 1: all these kind of other life forms that supposedly bread
Speaker 1: into our race. What's Anna Knoki. It's like a different
Speaker 1: kind of humanoids that are half alien half human. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like like a tribe of half human half aliens.
Speaker 1: I'm not too knowledgeable on this stuff. I just said,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been doing some like scant research on
Speaker 1: UFOs and stuff. When I was younger, I heard about
Speaker 1: Anna Knochi, you know, and they were the ones that
Speaker 1: would give us the pine cone. You know. Ever see
Speaker 1: like they're holding a pint and that would be like
Speaker 1: representative of the pineal gland and in the mind, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I would have never put that together. Okay,
Speaker 1: So according to my mom, I am just repeating what
Speaker 1: I've heard she told me. So there's this guy named Carl,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I can tell you as an alien
Speaker 1: that you're a part alien and try to find out
Speaker 1: who invented the microchip and the microwave and those were
Speaker 1: gifts from extraterrestrials. Wow, it's like alien intelligence. That's like
Speaker 1: the government worked into our daily society like that, and
Speaker 1: now they're in our phones and follow us around everywhere.
Speaker 1: But this is according to Carl, who is also according
Speaker 1: to my mother about Carl, So it's like fourth hand information.
Speaker 1: Is Carl, like, is Carl Ripertu is alien Carl? She
Speaker 1: calls him crazy Carl, though, very close crazy Carl e g. Carl,
Speaker 1: microwaves are a gift from no you know, I it
Speaker 1: sounds outrageous and insane, but like, what about our regular
Speaker 1: existence isn't outrageous and insane? You know, like the fact
Speaker 1: that you go into a tube subterranean, go around the city,
Speaker 1: then you you know, it's drop you off, and then
Speaker 1: you hop on an airplane and fly to a different country.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like we're living our our existence is
Speaker 1: not so as normal as we perceive it to be.
Speaker 1: I don't think oh, I don't think so either. I
Speaker 1: fully get tripped out about even just the radio, Like
Speaker 1: the radio and then the fact that cell phones and
Speaker 1: like we're looking at each other in real time having
Speaker 1: a conversation and you are at least what like four
Speaker 1: thousand miles away from me yea or three thousand and
Speaker 1: we in real time or having a conversation face to face, Like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? That doesn't make any sense? Thanks to Carl,
Speaker 1: I'll say the name of my cat. So maybe Carl
Speaker 1: is the alien we've always needed. Through Carl, we know
Speaker 1: that the batteries and the microwave is a technology, and
Speaker 1: I think about it and like I am not high. No,
Speaker 1: I just sometimes think about technology and I'm like the
Speaker 1: fact that I can sit here and look at your
Speaker 1: face and talk to you and you're so far away
Speaker 1: as a trip. I think about a lot that like
Speaker 1: there there's probably people that are still alive today there there,
Speaker 1: it's getting up there in years, but there's people that
Speaker 1: were alive when there weren't at least as many planes
Speaker 1: in the sky, or any planes at all. You know,
Speaker 1: like what we here was the first commercial play. I
Speaker 1: don't know what year. I don't know what year was
Speaker 1: the first I'm looking at brad Well three is like
Speaker 1: the right brothers brothers Okay, so like our My grandfather
Speaker 1: was born in nineteen nineteen, So like people, maybe not
Speaker 1: so much anymore, but thirty years ago there were people
Speaker 1: that were alive, or forty years ago that there were
Speaker 1: any planes in the sky, and you would just never
Speaker 1: be able to it. I'm sorry, wait, go ahead and
Speaker 1: say it. My grandfather passed years ago. He remembers electricity
Speaker 1: being put into his barn as a kid. That right, yeah, yeah, totally,
Speaker 1: Like so like what we're living in out you know,
Speaker 1: it's just it's grown so exponentially so fast, like it's insane,
Speaker 1: and it continues to go, you know. Like I remember
Speaker 1: I took a break from television for ten years, and
Speaker 1: when I turned the TV back on and actually pay
Speaker 1: assension to it, I cannot believe the speed of everything.
Speaker 1: How everything was hitting you so much faster. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: We're downloading stuff in our own minds in ways that
Speaker 1: no one has ever had before. I sometimes have to
Speaker 1: take a break from like the consumption of media because
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like my head's gonna excellent. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if that's like a good kind of thing
Speaker 1: or a bad thing, but I just sometimes have to
Speaker 1: like leave the phone at home, take a break, like
Speaker 1: go on a walk, go smell of flower, look at
Speaker 1: a tree, and be like, I'm going to disengage from
Speaker 1: the information. It's probably something that we should all do
Speaker 1: more frequently. But even just to do it like a
Speaker 1: couple of times in your life, I think it's hugely beneficial.
Speaker 1: I was in the jungle for ten days one time,
Speaker 1: where I wasn't even allowed to bring a book with me,
Speaker 1: you know, so everything that came out of that experience
Speaker 1: was all output. There was no input. The only input
Speaker 1: was the jungle that I was in you know, and uh,
Speaker 1: it was. It was so intense, it was so powerful.
Speaker 1: It was like, you know when people say that had
Speaker 1: a life changing experience, that was a truly life changing
Speaker 1: experience for me. It was the first time and probably
Speaker 1: the only time where there was no input all The
Speaker 1: only input was natural was nature. And that was in
Speaker 1: well because in times like I would imagine I've been
Speaker 1: in the Proving jungle a long time ago, and my
Speaker 1: mom was there, So I'm not like, was your mom
Speaker 1: withol you? My mom wasn't. I wish, but she was
Speaker 1: not there. My mom was with me, So I was
Speaker 1: like I was sneaking out and drinking like a little
Speaker 1: bit of like I don't know, some sort of alcohol
Speaker 1: all they made in the middle of the Provian jungle
Speaker 1: and like running around, and you know, it was like
Speaker 1: there's this element of being like a bad young kid.
Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't on like a spiritual quest quite yet.
Speaker 1: Sure I would love to revisit as an adult in
Speaker 1: my mind because I was like seventeen, Well we're you know,
Speaker 1: we're talking about extra terrestrial with like the jungle is
Speaker 1: a completely different terrestrial experience, you know, like that's you know,
Speaker 1: it was opposite of everything I've ever experienced here, you know,
Speaker 1: and like, and that's happening all over the planet, you know,
Speaker 1: as we're living these lives with the cell phones and
Speaker 1: everything that you said we had to take a break from,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, it's pretty amazing. That's what. Okay.
Speaker 1: That was the point was that I would be if
Speaker 1: I went there now, and especially if I um, which
Speaker 1: I've never done Ayahuaska. But apparently it's life changing, especially
Speaker 1: if you do it in the proving jungle from multiple
Speaker 1: people I've just heard it's like just really a purge
Speaker 1: for your brain and body and soul and system of
Speaker 1: just everything. Yeah, it's It's informed a lot of what
Speaker 1: I practice and a lot of the arts and I
Speaker 1: make and the way I live my life. I've been
Speaker 1: working with that plant for twelve years now, thirteen years now,
Speaker 1: so because I have never done it, because let me
Speaker 1: preface it with I've heard it last for like three days,
Speaker 1: which I am not about to commit to something for
Speaker 1: three days. It really doesn't um. It only lasts for
Speaker 1: about seven hours here in the afterglow of it for
Speaker 1: three days, which is amazing, and sometimes even three months.
Speaker 1: But the effect the effect of drinking the plant only
Speaker 1: lasts for about seven hours, seven to ten hours, is it? Like?
Speaker 1: Did you do it in Peru and the jung I've
Speaker 1: done it in the States a lot and in groves
Speaker 1: in the jungle and with like would you call shaman
Speaker 1: or with the shaman? Yeah? With the shaman yeah, and
Speaker 1: that it's huge. Like so it's to me not only
Speaker 1: you know, the plant is a very powerful plant. It's
Speaker 1: it contains the knowledge of all the other plants in
Speaker 1: the jungle. It's like the grandmother plant. You know, it
Speaker 1: holds the basic, the entire thematic of how everything works
Speaker 1: in the jungle. But also the ceremony with the shaman
Speaker 1: is a truly alchemic experience because what's happening is you're
Speaker 1: drinking the plant. It's inside of you. The shaman is
Speaker 1: outside of you, singing songs that the plants reacting to
Speaker 1: the song inside your body. So almost think of like
Speaker 1: snake charming, Like if there was a snake inside of
Speaker 1: you and then someone outside of you was playing in
Speaker 1: the flute. That's what's happening with this plant. And the
Speaker 1: ego is is what the song is called. So it's
Speaker 1: this powerful experience where you know, like it's true alchemy.
Speaker 1: True magic is happening when when the ceremony is conducted
Speaker 1: in the right manner. I don't know what about that
Speaker 1: plant in particular. Maybe it's just because I've been so
Speaker 1: curious about it, and it's like I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: try it, and I'm also terrified of it. And it's
Speaker 1: also how I feel about acid. It's like I've never
Speaker 1: done it, really scared of it, highly curious about it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I need to try it. There
Speaker 1: are things like that which might completely mind bend my brain.
Speaker 1: But I also am scared of it because every single
Speaker 1: time I've drink it, I've been terrified that never goes away.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like skydiving, you know, or like and
Speaker 1: I mean, and I hate to say that, because a
Speaker 1: lot of people approach it as like an adrenaline rush
Speaker 1: kind of thing too. You know. I think people wanted
Speaker 1: to be like those spiritual bungee jumpers or whatever. But
Speaker 1: I don't want to be any kind of bungee jumper. No, no,
Speaker 1: I mean neither. But if there is a level of
Speaker 1: fear that you kind of have to conquer, you know,
Speaker 1: and like you know, because you're kind of like taking
Speaker 1: yourself out of your body. You know, you're taking yourself
Speaker 1: out of your mind. You know, when people say you're
Speaker 1: out of your mind, you know, or like I got
Speaker 1: out of my mind on this drug or whatever, you
Speaker 1: are truly out of your mind. And it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: It's probably the best thing you can do for yourself
Speaker 1: is take yourself out of your mind for eight hours,
Speaker 1: you know, and to let this plant do its work,
Speaker 1: because it's got a huge healing aspect to it, it's
Speaker 1: got a huge teaching aspect to it, and it has
Speaker 1: a huge revelatory aspect that you can like bring you
Speaker 1: to higher states of consciousness. You're by far not the
Speaker 1: first person that told me that, but yeah, I said
Speaker 1: to see, when you say out of your mind, I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm already a little out of my mind.
Speaker 1: So I'm scared to get any more out of my mind.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to I'm also trying not to tell
Speaker 1: you might not ever need to do it, and it
Speaker 1: might not ever happened, and you're life would be great
Speaker 1: without it as well. But if you ever have the
Speaker 1: opportunity and you feel called the nervousness and anticipation and anxiety.
Speaker 1: You might feel you can conquer it. You've done a
Speaker 1: lot more scary stuff in your life. I feel like
Speaker 1: I used to thrive on anxiety, and now that I've
Speaker 1: had a break from it, I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to feel super anxious all the time. It's a whole
Speaker 1: I feel like my life is going to be totally
Speaker 1: changed after this year. Anxiety sucks, man, Anxiety is like
Speaker 1: one of the worst, And like, yeah, if you can
Speaker 1: get there, if you can get to a place in
Speaker 1: your life where you're experiencing minimal anxiety, if not any anxiety, Matt,
Speaker 1: I think you've you've won. God, that sounds like heaven.
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know if I know what that feels like.
Speaker 1: My goal, after I had this crazy trip of experience
Speaker 1: where I met the consciousness of infinite goodness, of my
Speaker 1: goal became to vibrate on the level of a neutron,
Speaker 1: completely neutral, because then there's like the positive and the negative,
Speaker 1: and then there's the neutral, and you get peace when
Speaker 1: you're at the neutral. This is what the consciousness of
Speaker 1: infinite goodness was like. You just gotta like bring your
Speaker 1: levels to be like pure peace, total peace. If that
Speaker 1: makes any sense. Do you believe in heaven? I believe
Speaker 1: in I believe in reincarnation, sure, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if I believe in heaven. I don't think you like,
Speaker 1: go to a place and there's like a guy with
Speaker 1: a with a you know, like a doorman with a
Speaker 1: you know St Peter that the guy who checks you in,
Speaker 1: Oh my God, would be the worst, would be the worst,
Speaker 1: like childhood trauma, high school ship if you literally die
Speaker 1: in there, like sorry v I p You're not on
Speaker 1: the list. You have to get the less cool place.
Speaker 1: The story of my life suck. I really hope there's
Speaker 1: not a heaven. I would be so passed. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's what it is to me. Heaven is a
Speaker 1: place that you can get to in your life where
Speaker 1: you have no needs. I think that's evan. So I
Speaker 1: did want to ask you one thing that you texted
Speaker 1: me about. Okay, the UFOs in the Andes Mountains. You
Speaker 1: brought that up in the same text with the psychic nun,
Speaker 1: and I just I have to at least ask you
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. Okay, Well, it's just I think
Speaker 1: I should probably should be better grammar because maybe it's
Speaker 1: my fault, my fault. The telepathic thing was I met
Speaker 1: some status in India or actually one is the stain
Speaker 1: the stat in India. Do you know what no, I
Speaker 1: was going to ask you. I have no idea whether
Speaker 1: I saw do is you put that in the text
Speaker 1: too and I was I didn't know. So there's there's
Speaker 1: status in India. And a true meaning of a sadu
Speaker 1: is someone who's efficient. Like I was saying just just
Speaker 1: a second ago, these are people that don't have kneeds,
Speaker 1: you know, like they they they eat and people feed them.
Speaker 1: You know, they just have like a cloth, they don't
Speaker 1: even have clothes, um, you know. They and if they
Speaker 1: don't get said, they just don't eat. They don't need
Speaker 1: to eat. They and a lot of them don't talk either.
Speaker 1: They don't feel the need to have verbal communication and uh,
Speaker 1: but they do communicate telepathically. And I've spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time with a few of them. One in particularly
Speaker 1: on a on a mountain, uh called Mountain Aronachuala in
Speaker 1: South India, and he communicates completely telepathically. He doesn't talk
Speaker 1: to anyone, but he has people that come and sit
Speaker 1: with them and he just sits. That's all. He does,
Speaker 1: and he's just sitting and sitting and sitting for hours
Speaker 1: and hours a day. But when you're with him, there's
Speaker 1: a lot to be learned and a lot to be
Speaker 1: stilled and experienced. And U people that are you know,
Speaker 1: I definitely got something from being with them. But I
Speaker 1: was there with my teacher who was completely on a
Speaker 1: on a telepathic communication with him, like, uh, we went
Speaker 1: there to see him daily and he was getting a
Speaker 1: lot from him, and uh, they were, they were there
Speaker 1: was this like play going on between the two of them.
Speaker 1: And I saw that, you know, because I know him
Speaker 1: very well, and I saw he would chant to him,
Speaker 1: he would reach scripture to him, and the saint would
Speaker 1: just sit there and listen and bless us God, just
Speaker 1: with just his eyes. But yeah, I'm not saying a
Speaker 1: word and not that's so crazy. I mean, it's not crazy.
Speaker 1: It sounds actually like the least crazy thing, but it's yeah,
Speaker 1: it's actually totally sane. This this person is totally at piece.
Speaker 1: You know, he's just like he's a stone, you know,
Speaker 1: but you feel this joy and he eminates joy. He
Speaker 1: vibrates joy and love and also like just a lot
Speaker 1: to learn by example, you know, it's inspiring to see
Speaker 1: somebody like I'm not gonna go to a mountain and
Speaker 1: just sit there and not talk to anyone. That's not
Speaker 1: my path. But I get a lot of term being
Speaker 1: around someone like that, you know, to be around someone
Speaker 1: that has no needs and who has elevated themselves that
Speaker 1: they can talk to me without even speaking, and they
Speaker 1: can teach me without even speaking. Did you feel like
Speaker 1: you works like receiving anything? Oh, totally undercent. I was
Speaker 1: receiving messages and just like it causes like a reflection
Speaker 1: upon myself, it causes inquiry mself, like, Wow, this person
Speaker 1: doesn't need anything, and this person is beyond the scope
Speaker 1: of any kind of tyranny, you know, any kind of
Speaker 1: psychic tyranny, any kind of obligational tyranny, any kind of
Speaker 1: law tyranny, any kind of international national tyranny, government tyranny,
Speaker 1: you know, family tyranny. You know, like any of the
Speaker 1: thing is that play guts in our daily you know, struggle,
Speaker 1: he's he doesn't, it's not there. So it's just like
Speaker 1: a clear channel of like truth, you know. And to
Speaker 1: be able to sit with that and sit near even
Speaker 1: to sit near that's like a huge opportunity. The idea
Speaker 1: of having zero drama with anything or anyone is a
Speaker 1: hard concept for me to even like wrap my brain
Speaker 1: around too, but it was actually able to see it.
Speaker 1: You know, it sounds beautiful. I try to like be
Speaker 1: less dramatic, but in my world, it's very different than
Speaker 1: being able to sit and not talk. I don't think
Speaker 1: I could do that for like an hour. I can't
Speaker 1: I wake up myself up from yelling. I can't even
Speaker 1: sleep and not talk, like I can't keep my damn
Speaker 1: mouth shut. But maybe that's just not my path this lifetime. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's the thing, Like, are what we've done in
Speaker 1: our in this life and in prior eves, And I
Speaker 1: think that kind of determines that, you know, like we
Speaker 1: we have to have some drama in our last because
Speaker 1: you know, we were drawn towards it. I think people
Speaker 1: are naturally drawn towards drama. This is my own hypothesizing
Speaker 1: happening in my brain. But I think people like having
Speaker 1: dramas so then they don't have to focus on anything inward.
Speaker 1: But so the drama of like television, politics, friends, high school,
Speaker 1: whatever is going on, celebrity culture, it just like is
Speaker 1: a great distraction from having to like look inward. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, you know, there's huge dopamine hits from all
Speaker 1: that what they call it doom scrolling when you're like
Speaker 1: scrolling through through like Twitter and stuff, especially with the
Speaker 1: election and stuff. I was so guilty of it. Me too.
Speaker 1: I was completely consumed by it. But like, I see
Speaker 1: your what you're getting from doing that is just like tiny,
Speaker 1: like dirty versions of what you could be getting if
Speaker 1: you just put it all aside and go inwards. I know,
Speaker 1: it feels really dirty. That's the exact word I would
Speaker 1: use to like describe as Whenever I like I'm looking
Speaker 1: through that kind of stuff, I feel like I hope
Speaker 1: like no one sees me doing this because I'm not
Speaker 1: proud of it. Like it feels icky. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: why are you being like why are you looking at
Speaker 1: this ship? It's gonna make you feel bad? But then
Speaker 1: I do it. It's the weirdest thing. I think there's
Speaker 1: like a dopamine effect you know, that you get from it,
Speaker 1: you know, And I've heard like, so I'm recently was
Speaker 1: explaining it to me that like when you see someone
Speaker 1: that you think is right, you know, in the midst
Speaker 1: of all this, you know, like, you know, whatever the
Speaker 1: prosecutor that's going to take out Trump or the person
Speaker 1: you know, the president that wins or whatever. When you
Speaker 1: align yourself with those people, you know, it's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: this this person is on my side, you know, and
Speaker 1: you identify that. There's like a dopamine effect with that,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's why we always want to go
Speaker 1: back to that. Yeah, exactly, there's some merit in there somewhere,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe that like we're trying to align ourselves
Speaker 1: with good you know, and like it's also like we're
Speaker 1: in a fucking seriously crazy time on the planet, so
Speaker 1: I think it's important to kind of pay attention to
Speaker 1: it in some respects. But we can't let it. We
Speaker 1: can't let it dictate who we really are. No, It's
Speaker 1: so it's really like it's confusing because sometimes I'll not
Speaker 1: have any idea what or who someone's talking about, so
Speaker 1: I feel out of touch with some sort of cultural reference.
Speaker 1: But at the other end, my mom kind of raised
Speaker 1: us not too. We didn't watch cartoons, we didn't really
Speaker 1: watch movies, Like I saw conn Air and I saw
Speaker 1: Face Off for the first time like this year, and
Speaker 1: it blew my fucking mind. And but like everyone else,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I saw that when I
Speaker 1: was ten, where have you been? And my mom just
Speaker 1: like was like, go outside, write songs, catch firefly, don't
Speaker 1: go on a TV. No. So I don't even like
Speaker 1: the cartoons. I see in really nice pieces of art
Speaker 1: and there's like a cartoon. I don't know who the
Speaker 1: cartoon is. I feel so stupid. But it's also because
Speaker 1: I was just being present in my life as a child,
Speaker 1: because that was the way my mom raised me. So
Speaker 1: it's this weird thing. I don't get a lot of
Speaker 1: cultural references though, you know that what made me look
Speaker 1: that made me think of and it's it's a kind
Speaker 1: of a weird obscure reference. But like, do you remember
Speaker 1: when there was that huge months soon there's a huge
Speaker 1: tidal waves? I think it happened in like early two
Speaker 1: thousands in Japan. No, not the Japanese one. There's warm
Speaker 1: right before that. It was like I think it happened
Speaker 1: like in the Fiji Islands. I do remember what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. Yeah, so what I remember hearing that, Like
Speaker 1: first there was a huge wave and it crashed on
Speaker 1: the beach and it was eat it, and it brought
Speaker 1: all these fish onto the beach, and like all these
Speaker 1: children and even like villagers came out and like went
Speaker 1: and looked at the fish because they were fish they'd
Speaker 1: never seen before, you know, they came from deep in
Speaker 1: the ocean, and then the big waves came. And I
Speaker 1: feel like that kind of happens with us when we
Speaker 1: we haven't been exposed to stuff like the Age of Wonder,
Speaker 1: you know, like and the curiosity, like how that can
Speaker 1: definitely bring us to a demise, you know, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, yeah, I'm I would be there
Speaker 1: staring at a fish from the deep ocean. I would
Speaker 1: be right front and center for that. Or watching conn
Speaker 1: Air while that you know, will the well while Rome
Speaker 1: is burning, you know, like I'll watch so much TV,
Speaker 1: you know all. You know, I'm sitting in the temple
Speaker 1: right now, and I go inside and I'll watch TV.
Speaker 1: You know. Um, that makes me feel good about myself.
Speaker 1: Though you're sitting in a temple you built, that you
Speaker 1: have made. It's a beautiful piece of art. You're a magical,
Speaker 1: mystical human and you're about to do inside much TV
Speaker 1: And I might go watch Nicolas Cage movie and like
Speaker 1: that's human, it's okay, Yeah, it's a pandemic. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we should we shouldn't be so hard on partner ourselves.
Speaker 1: And like when you see, I don't know, I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not about the rules, you know, like all the
Speaker 1: different rules. I love. I love lineage, and I love teachings,
Speaker 1: and I love preserving those things and like a binding
Speaker 1: by them and like trying to stick to them as
Speaker 1: close to being prescribed as possible. But you have to
Speaker 1: do it your own way, for sure, I agree. All right?
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a couple of just stupid questions
Speaker 1: and then yeah, okay, great, let's get stupid. Let's get stupid.
Speaker 1: We're about to get stupid. Here. Would you rather be? Well,
Speaker 1: this one, I think you already. I think I know
Speaker 1: the answer. Would you rather be abducted by aliens? Or
Speaker 1: sleep in a truly haunted house alone for a night.
Speaker 1: I would go for the alien abduction. See, I think
Speaker 1: I might too, But I'm also like, no shade to
Speaker 1: the ghost, because some ghost can be friendly. That's in
Speaker 1: my experience. Okay, what would be like your style of haunting?
Speaker 1: If and when you're a ghost someone? Yeah, like, how
Speaker 1: would we know it's you. Oh okay, geez, that's a
Speaker 1: great question. I would like I would love to be
Speaker 1: able to play an instrument as a ghost, you know,
Speaker 1: like a flute, you know, like if you heard the
Speaker 1: flute playing, you're like, oh, he's here, Like Jethroats. I
Speaker 1: was in a haunted house one time where if you
Speaker 1: played the piano, the ghost would start kicking around upstairs.
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, and it didn't seem like it
Speaker 1: was happy though. I feel like it was. It was
Speaker 1: their piano and they didn't want other people playing it.
Speaker 1: Oh fair, Okay, so you can be a ghost? Is
Speaker 1: the flute? Do you play the flute in real life?
Speaker 1: H okay, that makes sense. I was today. It's a
Speaker 1: little random, but I'll know it's you if I ever
Speaker 1: hear a flute flying by futum. I have thought about mine.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would do. I would probably
Speaker 1: just like scare the ship out of people just for funfit.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Wouldn't you be a thing? No? I
Speaker 1: sing when I get paid. You don't think, but yeah,
Speaker 1: would you? Wouldn't you want to make a great ghost song?
Speaker 1: Like maybe? Actually, you know what, that's just me being
Speaker 1: a jackass. I would actually, probably because I've been singing
Speaker 1: my whole life since i was a little kid, like
Speaker 1: to the point where my brother who's on the compis
Speaker 1: meted and my mom would be like, shut up, go outside.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna sing, go outside, go into the bushes
Speaker 1: so we can't hear you. You're so annoying. And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, but that's when I was trying to
Speaker 1: learn how to yodel, and so I was like doing
Speaker 1: these like super annoying like yodels, and they're like, go
Speaker 1: the fuck outside. So I think if I were a ghost,
Speaker 1: it would be like me, like yodeling. I'd be a
Speaker 1: yodeling ghost. That's me, that's my ghost. I hope I
Speaker 1: never encountered yodeling. We could hunt together, Flute Yoda learned.
Speaker 1: This sounds like hell, the worst band ever. Maybe there
Speaker 1: is a heaven and hell would be me and you
Speaker 1: hunting someone together. Yeah, yeah, we better never anybody that.
Speaker 1: That sounds really fun. Actually, let's plan on meeting up
Speaker 1: out there when we're done here. Um, okay, if you
Speaker 1: could be haunted by anyone, who would it be? Oh,
Speaker 1: you know who it would be? And this is this
Speaker 1: is kind of crazy. Because I really wanted to be
Speaker 1: haunted by Eugene O'Neill. You know who that is. Who's
Speaker 1: that a playwriter? He wrote The Iceman Coming and this,
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I'm not a huge fan
Speaker 1: of Eugene O'Neill, it's because I lived in a house
Speaker 1: that Eugene O'Neill bought for his daughter and I used
Speaker 1: to like, I used to think that I would have
Speaker 1: like an encounter with him. So I've already been like
Speaker 1: pursuing this ghost of Eugene O'Neil for a while. Um
Speaker 1: when I when I was younger for him to get
Speaker 1: you check it out. Though his daughter was married to
Speaker 1: Charlie Chaplin, so I was also wanting to Charlie Chaplin
Speaker 1: haunting as well. So it was like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted like I wanted to know those those dudes,
Speaker 1: you know. And it's so crazy that my granddad, who
Speaker 1: was a free meats and he bought the house from
Speaker 1: Charlie Chaplin's widow and her daughter, and that was like
Speaker 1: kind of the house I grew up in and it
Speaker 1: felt on it. But I never had any experiences with
Speaker 1: those with Charlie Chaplin or Eugene O'Neil. As far as
Speaker 1: I know, neither of them ever stepped in those songs.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Well, I'll pray for you to get on it.
Speaker 1: Maybe one day I'll get haunted by some uh none again,
Speaker 1: non non talking, yeah, Charlie Chaplin, But that would be
Speaker 1: a nice, easy, easy hunt, just no talking. God a nightmare. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we've been chatting for like two hours, So before
Speaker 1: you go, do you want to promote whatever you want
Speaker 1: to promote? Okay, the best way to find me is
Speaker 1: probably Instagram. My Instagram handles. Robert Bryant three two three.
Speaker 1: I just a book came out today and it's part
Speaker 1: of an artist series called Black Dagger, and my volume
Speaker 1: is number twelve. And then I have a new book
Speaker 1: coming out that I've been spending a lot of time
Speaker 1: on during this quarantine, which is a book of all
Speaker 1: painting the deities and and how I interface with them
Speaker 1: and my relationship to them and what I know about
Speaker 1: them beautiful, and I should be coming out in like
Speaker 1: hopefully around April, I hope. Okay, great, everybody follow Robert.
Speaker 1: If you want a tattoo, electric tattoo, that's what's called
Speaker 1: right electric electric tattoo and Asbury Park, New Jersey, Home
Speaker 1: of the Boss, Home of the Boss. And Robert Ryan. Um,
Speaker 1: thank you very much and you so good to see
Speaker 1: you two, and stay well, stay COVID free when we'll
Speaker 1: see you hopefully soon, Keep on creeping on, stay creepy,
Speaker 1: San Diego, good Bye,