1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, sex, parenting, dating, work and more. Please 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click 4 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this 6 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,600 Speaker 1: one right here. Huh, right now today? Yes, right, buckle up, 7 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: hold on tight, We got it for you here. It 8 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter subject. She gave him exactly what 9 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 1: he wanted. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been with my boyfriend 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: for eleven years, and he's eleven years younger than I am. 11 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: When we met, I had two children from a previous marriage, 12 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: and he said he always wanted to have his own 13 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: child with me. Well, we never got around to having 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: children together, and now I can't have kids. I suspected 15 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: that women his age would eventually get his attention, but 16 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: I never expected him to cheat on me. Multiple times 17 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: I caught him texting and calling a female when he lied, 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: I call a young woman to talk to her. She 19 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: told me that she has a newborn baby only four 20 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: days old, and it's my boyfriend's child. My boyfriend admitted 21 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: to having sex with her but said he wanted a 22 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: paternity test as soon as she and the baby could 23 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: take one. Well, we found out that it is his baby, 24 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: and now I have to figure out how to make 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: this child part of our family. My boyfriend is overjoyed 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: that he has a son. Finally, I'm jealous for two reasons. 27 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 1: First because he cheated and the woman is beautiful and 28 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: has her own business, and she's been nothing but respectful 29 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: to me because she didn't know about me. I'm also 30 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: jealous because he has a son, and I know that 31 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: this bond with the baby may be stronger than what 32 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: we have. I did not feel good in the beginning 33 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: about dating a much younger man, but I could not 34 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: help who I fell in love with. My boyfriend keeps 35 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: trying to reassure me that the baby doesn't change how 36 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: he feels about me. He has asked me to marry him, 37 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: and I told him yes, but I feel like i'd 38 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: be in the way of a great life he could 39 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: have with the baby and the baby's mom. I feel 40 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: like the best thing would be to let him go, 41 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: but at times I want to be selfish and keep 42 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: him for myself. What should I do? Wow? Now, yeah, now, 43 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: didn't you just say that he cheated on you, not one, 44 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 1: not two, but multiple times, and he has a baby 45 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: with another woman, a baby that now you can't give 46 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: him the whole paternity test thing that was a joke. 47 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: I mean, he knew that baby was his all along. 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: He knew it. He wanted to wait until the baby 49 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: and the mama could take it. Yeah, he already knew. 50 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 1: And please do not make excuses for him. This has 51 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: nothing to do with your eleven year age difference. Don't 52 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,679 Speaker 1: don't do that to yourself because you've been with him 53 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: for eleven years. This is just a no good, cheating 54 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,359 Speaker 1: guy you have on your hands. I mean, after eleven years, 55 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 1: he's just now asked you to marry him. Get out 56 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: of here with that one. Why now? Could it be 57 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: because he cheated and got caught. Now there's a baby 58 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: involved in all of that, and you said that you've 59 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: got to figure out how to make the baby a 60 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: part of your family. That is really sweet of you. 61 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: I mean, you know you're a good woman here. I 62 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: just you know, I think you're better off without him, Okay, 63 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: I just think that I don't think you should wait 64 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: for him to let you go, like you said in 65 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: the letter, I think you should let him go and 66 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: move on with your life. I think you can do 67 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: way better. That's what I think. This guy's no good. 68 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: He's a cheater and he's done it multiple times. Leave him, Steve. 69 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: I see a very delusional letter here. The subject. She 70 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: gave him exactly what he wanted. You've been with your 71 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: boyfriend for eleven years. Who is somebody? Boyfriend and girlfriend 72 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: for eleven years, and he's eleven years younger than I am. 73 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: What that when we met, I had two children from 74 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: previous marriage. He said they always wanted to have his 75 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: own child with me. He said that, well, you had 76 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 1: eleven years to work it out, but you never got 77 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 1: around to having kids together, and now you can't have kids. 78 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: So let's say I don't know you forty five, maybe 79 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: he thirty six. I'm thinking somewhere in now or fifty 80 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: and then' and I'm thinking, and I suspected and now 81 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: he would listen to me. We never got around to 82 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: having children together, y'all never got around to getting married together. 83 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: Y'all never got around to defineing y'all's relationship. Now you 84 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: can't have kids. And I suspected that women his age 85 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: would eventually get his attention. Well, the law of attraction works, 86 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 1: and that's what it happened. But I never expected him 87 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: to cheat on me multiple times. One was cool, but 88 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: you didn't expect a lot of times. Then you called 89 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: him texting calling the female. So when he lied, you 90 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: called the young woman to talk to her. Now you 91 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: keep calling all these women young and all his help. 92 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: She told me she has a newborn baby, only four 93 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: days old, and he's your boyfriend's child. Then the dude 94 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: told you he's having sex with him, but said he 95 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: wanted a paternity tests as soon as she and the 96 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: baby could take one. As soon as her and the baby. 97 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: You just need one person now, he don't need both 98 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: of them. Got to greeted this. What can the baby say? 99 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: All right? I mean really, you know you four days old? Yeah? 100 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: Stop that, shut up, just cotton in your mouth, pee 101 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: on this stick. Boy. Well, we found out that it's 102 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: his baby, and this line just came out of nowhere. 103 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: And now I have to figure out how to make 104 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:26,919 Speaker 1: this child part of our family. What family, lady, what 105 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: family are you talking about? You ain't got no family, 106 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:37,720 Speaker 1: that ain't your husband? Ye? No, I got to figure 107 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: out how to make this child part of our family. 108 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: I'll come back. I'll give you the rest, all right. 109 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: Part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three 110 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject. She gave 111 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: him exactly what he wanted. We'll get back into it 112 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening show, All right, Steve, come on, 113 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. She gave him a 114 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: exactly what he wanted. This lady got this boyfriend. They've 115 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: been dating for eleven years. He eleven years younger than 116 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: she is. She got two kids from previous marriage, but 117 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: he told her you always want to have a child 118 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: with her. They never got around to having children together 119 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: because they ain't really had no relationship, and now she 120 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: too old and had kids. And I suspected that women 121 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: his age will eventually get his attention. That ain't They 122 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: had his attention back when you first got married, though 123 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: now ill ain't married dating, but I never expected him 124 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: cheat on me multiple times, you know, one or two 125 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: times maybe, but not all the damn times. And then 126 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: I called him texting and calling this girl. So when 127 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: he lied, said, now I ain't talking to him. You 128 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: call a young woman talked to him. She told me 129 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: she got a newborn baby four days old, and then 130 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: your boyfriend's baby. Then your boyfriend turned around and said, yeah, 131 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I had sex with her, but I want the paternity 132 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: tests as soon as the she and the baby can 133 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: take one. No, no, dog, listen to me. You don't 134 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: the paternity test is with the baby. You don't see 135 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: one thing about you know it's her baby. We all 136 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: know that it's her baby. It's her, your your girlfriend, 137 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: your old ass girlfriend that you live with. Call her 138 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: and got the number from your phone. It's huh. We 139 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: don't need a paternity test for her. It's the baby. See, 140 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: everybody know her. She the one told everybody that the 141 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: baby was yours. So now you got the paternity test. 142 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: It's your damn baby now, the lady said, once we 143 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 1: find out that it's his baby. Now I got to 144 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: figure out how to make this child a part of 145 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: our family. What family you talking about? You don't have 146 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: a family. Your family is them two kids. This dude 147 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: that's eleven years younger than you, he creating another family 148 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 1: somewhere else. That's gonna mess your children up when they 149 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,839 Speaker 1: don't seem no more. But you gotta tell him he 150 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: got another family somewhere. Now, your boyfriend is overjoyed that 151 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: he finally has a son. And I'm jealous for two reasons. 152 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: First cause he cheated, Okay, so you just jealous about that. 153 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 1: And the woman is beautiful and has her own business, 154 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: and she has been nothing but respectful to me because 155 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,839 Speaker 1: she didn't know about me, so he didn't lie to everybody. 156 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 1: Do y'all live together? Do you get that in this 157 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: letter that they live together, her and the boyfriend. Yeah, 158 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: I think they do live together. She's been with him 159 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: for eleven years. Yeah, I don't really mean they live 160 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: because she ain't know nothing about this woman? So how 161 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,199 Speaker 1: you living? That call and talking? Where they what are 162 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: they're going? So now now I'm jealous because the sun 163 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: and I know that this bond with the baby, he's 164 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: stronger than what we have. You keep talking about what 165 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: y'all got? What are you talking about? Yes, the baby's 166 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 1: bond is gonna be stronger than the one you got. 167 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,119 Speaker 1: He loved a baby. Now he overjoyed. He ain't overjoyed 168 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: with you no more. See, let's just keep it real. 169 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,680 Speaker 1: This bond you keep creating, this bond, I do not 170 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: feel good in the beginning about dating I didn't feel 171 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: good and beginning about dating a much younger man. Well, 172 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: you said that, but I could not help who I 173 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: fell in love with. I understand that my boyfriend keeps 174 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: trying to reassure me that the baby doesn't change how 175 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: he feels about me. See that's true, that he making 176 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: a true statement. I want you to hear to me. Now, 177 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: the baby doesn't change how he feels about you, But now, 178 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: how does he feel about you? Because he didn't cheat 179 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 1: it on your multiple times? He ain't asked you to 180 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: marry him easy eleven years younger and he got another 181 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: family somewhere. Hell not. The baby ain't gonna change how 182 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: he feel about you. What do he feel about you? 183 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: What's in this for you? Sister? He has asked me 184 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: to marry him, and I told him yes, but I 185 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: feel like I'd be in the way. Lady, lady, lady. 186 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,199 Speaker 1: This little dude just trying to hang on to everything. 187 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: He's overjoyed with his son, the chick, fine, beautiful guy 188 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: to business. He didn't ask you to marry him and 189 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: you told him yes, you got the ring? Or did 190 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 1: he just ask you because he ain't got the money 191 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: for the ring, your two babies and this new baby. 192 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: But I feel like I'd be in the way of 193 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: a great life he could have with the baby and 194 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 1: the baby's mom, because in your harder hearts, you know 195 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: that's where his head is at. True, I feel like 196 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: the best thing would be to let him go. Me too, 197 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: surely do too. But at times I want to be 198 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: selfish and keep him for yourself. You've never had him 199 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 1: for yourself, see, sister, he'd been with a lot of 200 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: other people, just the one that got pregnant. Yeah. See, 201 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,319 Speaker 1: I want to be selfish and keep him for myself. 202 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: You've had eleven years to have him to yourself and 203 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: they ain't had him to yourself yet. He's not yours, 204 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: and he don't want to be yours. So, sister, pull 205 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: yourself together. Stop creating a relationship that ain't there. Quit 206 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: talking about this bond that this man going to be 207 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: with that family. You take your time, move on with 208 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: your life and get you somebody, Get a grown ass 209 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,839 Speaker 1: man that ain't looking to have no more kids. Post 210 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM 211 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter 212 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now coming up at forty six. After 213 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: the hour, Junior is in the building with Sports Talk. 214 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to This Day Harvey Morning Show.