1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio Yo,

2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:08,240
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Dutton Zaron Burnett. Girl, what's that? I got a

3
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,640
Speaker 1: question for you? You got five? Okay? Do you know

4
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:17,040
Speaker 1: what's ridiculous? Yes? Yes, please share? Okay? Have you ever

5
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,960
Speaker 1: heard the term Kentucky hug? Excuse me? What a Kentucky hug?

6
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,840
Speaker 1: I'm from Georgia and I never heard that. Well, apparently,

7
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:29,360
Speaker 1: according to Urban Dictionary, to find Kentucky hug is that

8
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:34,080
Speaker 1: warm feeling you get when drinking bourbon. Oh okay, okay,

9
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,959
Speaker 1: that makes a lover. You've felt the Kentucky hug. I've

10
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:42,440
Speaker 1: Kentucky snuggled. Okay, well guess what cuddle puddle? Um, there's

11
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,280
Speaker 1: a press release from a business. We're talking mashups again.

12
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,360
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I just Kentucky hug? What could this

13
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:57,120
Speaker 1: possibly be? Okay, So here's what it says. A Kentucky

14
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,240
Speaker 1: hug is a well known term among bourbon lovers, and

15
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 1: here it is. Spoiler alert, Jim Beam fans alike. In

16
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,760
Speaker 1: this holiday season, the brand is turning the phrase into

17
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:12,560
Speaker 1: a reality with a limited edition holiday pajama set equipped

18
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 1: with a built in quote unquote hug simulator so you

19
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,920
Speaker 1: can send a cozy hug to anyone you're missing this season. Dad,

20
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:25,480
Speaker 1: don't a bottle of gym beam last time my daddy

21
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,840
Speaker 1: hugged me. They so it's their bizarre pajamas. They come

22
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,760
Speaker 1: in small to double xl um It says it simulates

23
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,679
Speaker 1: the sensation of a hug by quote applying weighted pressure

24
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 1: on specific points around your neck, shoulders, and back to

25
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,480
Speaker 1: replicate the feeling of an in person hug. It's like

26
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:50,200
Speaker 1: the the emotionally closed off and perhaps you know, unhealthy

27
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 1: relationship with alcohol. Perhaps. So they're like plaid pajamas, right,

28
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,720
Speaker 1: these red tartan the red okay, nice holiday pajamas. And

29
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,600
Speaker 1: then it's got like a Jim be logo patch over

30
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:07,320
Speaker 1: the left left brist and so it kind of looks

31
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 1: like maybe your name tag jim Beam club membership. It's

32
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,720
Speaker 1: club membership. And then it has what looks like it

33
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,600
Speaker 1: has like a puffy collar, as if it's a puff coat,

34
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,760
Speaker 1: but it's pajamas. Okay, I'm having And then it's like

35
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,040
Speaker 1: one of those travel neck pillows that people wear on planes,

36
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 1: kind of like deflated a little bit, and this laying

37
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 1: across the like a stole em Yeah, those neck pillows

38
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,000
Speaker 1: are bogus, by the way. I don't use any of that.

39
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 1: I think it's just they don't. I don't know. I

40
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,840
Speaker 1: just take my jacket, I bawled up against the window,

41
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,440
Speaker 1: and I sleep against that like God intended exactly. I

42
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,440
Speaker 1: take off all my clothes and I put them in

43
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,679
Speaker 1: a big ball, take my socks off, and I drive

44
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,919
Speaker 1: them on my handrail. And they say, and they say, ma'am,

45
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 1: this is a city bus. This is not a plane man.

46
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,280
Speaker 1: And I spit at them, and then I keep eating pudding.

47
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,959
Speaker 1: So with your fingers, with my fingers. Um. So yeah,

48
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,920
Speaker 1: the I think it's ridiculous that Jim Beam makes pajamas

49
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,799
Speaker 1: to replicate what they call the Kentucky hug, which is

50
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,040
Speaker 1: the feeling of getting toasted. But they're trying to make

51
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,120
Speaker 1: it like it's a real hug. This is all. There's

52
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,520
Speaker 1: so many problems in this whole thing. I just want

53
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,560
Speaker 1: to know. Can you get them also to be scented

54
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,959
Speaker 1: so they smell like somebody can send them a sample,

55
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,680
Speaker 1: smell like the sweat of bourbon coming out of someone's pores.

56
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:31,440
Speaker 1: After four days, I need a hug, so I hear

57
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,040
Speaker 1: if I declare that ridiculous. I love that one. I

58
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,000
Speaker 1: love it for me, for everybody like you. They says

59
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,240
Speaker 1: it comes from small to double XL, but I'm hoping

60
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:45,120
Speaker 1: they do child sizes. My three year old nephew could

61
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:49,280
Speaker 1: rock these. It would be amazing. Maybe I'll just make

62
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,600
Speaker 1: my own. You don't you think that would give him

63
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,320
Speaker 1: a complex? Like I always looked at Jim Beam for

64
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:58,120
Speaker 1: my emotional support ever since I was three. He just

65
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,800
Speaker 1: held be the coolest it on the block. Yeah, and

66
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,720
Speaker 1: with no friends. Maybe it's a bad idea, but I

67
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 1: think I know what Santa's bringing you. Oh Santa, you

68
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 1: too good to say, you naughty fellow. Well that's a

69
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:17,400
Speaker 1: really quite a lovely holiday surprise, Elizabeth. I've got actually

70
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,000
Speaker 1: a special one for you. I've prepared. Please do you

71
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,159
Speaker 1: got a second? I do? Yes? No, Just imagine a

72
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,720
Speaker 1: whole buffet ridiculousness. Okay, s'more gigs boorg if you will,

73
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:32,160
Speaker 1: of illegality, a cordocopia of criminal activity pictured in your mind. Yes.

74
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 1: My point is, Elizabeth, I have prepared this shark cu

75
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,119
Speaker 1: to replated criminality of various pungent heist, aromatic caper's, moldy

76
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 1: cons and some cheesy bank jobs all for you. Are

77
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,000
Speaker 1: you ready for the first annual Most Ridiculous Crimes of

78
00:04:48,240 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: two Born? Ready? Baby? This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast

79
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,480
Speaker 1: about absurd and outrageous capers, heists, and cons. It's always

80
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:25,160
Speaker 1: murder free and one ridiculous Elizabeth. Now, I promised you

81
00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,640
Speaker 1: have a hit list of the biggest, dumbest, stupidest, most

82
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:35,040
Speaker 1: outrageous logic, defying luck, requiring good sense, defying crimes. I

83
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,080
Speaker 1: am so excited about this. I hope you are because

84
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,800
Speaker 1: I want you to be prepared to be horrified in

85
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,200
Speaker 1: equal measures. Now, when I first saw this first story

86
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 1: that I'm going to share with you, I was immediately

87
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 1: struck by the question did the thieves who heisted Buzzy

88
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,719
Speaker 1: the animatronic inspire others? Because this feels like a copycat

89
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,800
Speaker 1: Disney criminal But you be the judge, as the expert,

90
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,520
Speaker 1: and you know I love to judge go. In July,

91
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,320
Speaker 1: this headline hit the presses man arrested after taking Star

92
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,279
Speaker 1: Wars are two d two droid at Disney. Police say

93
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,320
Speaker 1: that's the headline, But that's not really the story I

94
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 1: would say at all, because I think the headline should

95
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,880
Speaker 1: be Florida man steals are two D two to impress

96
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,240
Speaker 1: boss and get job at Disney World. God, so I

97
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,240
Speaker 1: like you to meet David Proudfoot. He's a forty four

98
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,920
Speaker 1: year old resident of Kissing Me Florida, which I think

99
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,640
Speaker 1: should be kiss Ummy, but it's KISSIMMI, Kissimi Florida. So anyway,

100
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:34,240
Speaker 1: Proudfoot wants to get a job at Disney World. So

101
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 1: he thinks long and hard about He's like, how can

102
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,080
Speaker 1: I get myself one of them good good jobs at

103
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,240
Speaker 1: Disney World? And he's like, I need to impress my

104
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 1: prospective employers. So what does he do? He decides what

105
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,240
Speaker 1: better way to get your boss's attention? There was some

106
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:51,280
Speaker 1: smooth criming, right, Okay, So he goes undercover. He poses

107
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,000
Speaker 1: as a Disney World guest to get the lay of

108
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,960
Speaker 1: the land. Then he's like, you know what, that's not enough.

109
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,480
Speaker 1: He goes deeper undercover. He's hice up himself one of

110
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 1: them Disney bad employee badges, and he goes and poses

111
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:06,599
Speaker 1: as a Disney employee at the park. But now he's

112
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 1: ready and to set to astound in amaze the folks

113
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,480
Speaker 1: of Disney World. Right, so he steals a ten thous

114
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,520
Speaker 1: dollar R two D two droid and that's not enough.

115
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,920
Speaker 1: He steals a couple of other items, like a video game,

116
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,800
Speaker 1: like a whole asked video game, and like like an

117
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 1: arcade a trade style video game. Yeah, how okay, keep

118
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,080
Speaker 1: going because I'm gonna just note my questions here. It's

119
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,240
Speaker 1: got like a Disney employee badge. He's got like the

120
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,280
Speaker 1: yellow security vesting's walking around like he be there and

121
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,040
Speaker 1: it works so he's able to lift the R two

122
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 1: D two all at once. He's doing this at different times.

123
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,480
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, because how is he getting this

124
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: stuff out of there? Well, you know, I don't know

125
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,840
Speaker 1: he's carrying. Does he dress the R two D two

126
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:49,000
Speaker 1: as another fellow employeech No, So the dude he gets

127
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,360
Speaker 1: popped eventually because he's not good. Now. When he gets busted,

128
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 1: Proudfoot calmly explains to the Disney Disney police that look, guys,

129
00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,600
Speaker 1: all this criming, this was my job. Epic patient, you know,

130
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:05,000
Speaker 1: come on, wait what? But he's like, no, okay, truly,

131
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,240
Speaker 1: I already did apply for a job, but it didn't

132
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,680
Speaker 1: get anyone's attention, didn't jump to the top of the list.

133
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,160
Speaker 1: So I thought I will show them. I will show

134
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 1: all of them want a job in security. Security thought,

135
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,200
Speaker 1: if I go and I steal some stuff, what better

136
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,880
Speaker 1: cover letter for a resume is there than that? He

137
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,280
Speaker 1: wants to be like the equivalent of the white hat

138
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,560
Speaker 1: hacker exactly. So imagine it. He would be like, Okay,

139
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,600
Speaker 1: all good, busted, and I'll turn around and say, look now,

140
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,960
Speaker 1: don't you clearly need me? Because otherwise who else would

141
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 1: be able to stop a thief like me? The people

142
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:42,440
Speaker 1: who caught him, they were able to stop him. Disney

143
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:46,400
Speaker 1: World was like, um, how do I put it? Not impressed? Now?

144
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,680
Speaker 1: It turns out he also had a prior criminal history

145
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,439
Speaker 1: with the mouse House. He on Valentine's Day of that

146
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,960
Speaker 1: same year. This year, proud Foot also purchased a seven

147
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,680
Speaker 1: three dollar gold necklace from the Four Seasons Resort at Orlando.

148
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 1: At the Disney Resort, you know that anything you buy

149
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,520
Speaker 1: at a resort gift shop perfect bargain. You know you're

150
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,440
Speaker 1: getting the best value that is, that's the market buyer's deal.

151
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,920
Speaker 1: Make fund to where can I get the best deal?

152
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,839
Speaker 1: The Four Seasons gift shop. He goes there and like driver,

153
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,439
Speaker 1: he was like, I once saw this movie Fledge. This

154
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 1: guy pulled off a smooth move. I'm going to try that.

155
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,520
Speaker 1: So he purchased it by charging the gold necklace to

156
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 1: someone else's room like the Underhills. Oh right, right, right right,

157
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,440
Speaker 1: Yes got away with it? What kind of he got arrested? Yes,

158
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,320
Speaker 1: so he didn't got arrested. I mean we're talking about

159
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,280
Speaker 1: it exactly. So now we'll move on to who our

160
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,120
Speaker 1: next appetizer, if you will, this crime is well, I

161
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 1: haven't I told you. I'm my whole Vegas casino buffet

162
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,439
Speaker 1: ready for you. That'll be the top ten. But the

163
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,839
Speaker 1: first I want to give you a couple more, just

164
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: to wet your appetite. For instance, this story comes to

165
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:58,040
Speaker 1: us from Texas, Okay, and headline reads buckets of fecal

166
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 1: matter left at Electra p d woman charged that's next.

167
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,720
Speaker 1: So forties six year old Mindy Jeanette Stevens of Electra, Texas,

168
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,160
Speaker 1: was sick of all the local cops crap, so she

169
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,839
Speaker 1: gave it back to them, literally, I know. So in

170
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,480
Speaker 1: December this year, she was booked in the witch Doot

171
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 1: County Jail on a charge of illegal dumping of over

172
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,840
Speaker 1: five pounds and under five hundred pounds, which in Texas

173
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:32,640
Speaker 1: is a Class B misdemeanor. Now, what had happened was Elizabeth.

174
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,480
Speaker 1: On Thursday, November ten, at around Mindy showed up at

175
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,360
Speaker 1: the Electro Police Department with three five gallon buckets of

176
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,880
Speaker 1: human dukie. Now she gets out of her suv wearing

177
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,520
Speaker 1: a full on white hazmat suit and a yellow mask.

178
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,200
Speaker 1: This cops spotsor she's walking up in the white has

179
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,280
Speaker 1: mat suit and yellow mask holding the bucket five gallon buckets,

180
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,280
Speaker 1: and he's like, ma'am, what exactly are you doing now

181
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,320
Speaker 1: Mindy and her all white has matt yellow mass. U's uh.

182
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,760
Speaker 1: She looks at the cops and she was like, oh,

183
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:06,040
Speaker 1: these are human all hers out of my question I

184
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,640
Speaker 1: cannot answer. Did she like go around to her neighbors.

185
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 1: I have a project? Can you just fill this for me?

186
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,480
Speaker 1: It's kind of a group project thing. Yeah, she just

187
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,319
Speaker 1: went door to door like can you put this in

188
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,680
Speaker 1: your toilet room? She's like, here, have a cup of coffee,

189
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,040
Speaker 1: have your have your husband every time he's feeling a

190
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 1: little like heavy and you know he's gonna have a

191
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 1: good one, just use the bucket instead of the john.

192
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,040
Speaker 1: So well, after she dropped off the last of her

193
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,160
Speaker 1: five goings, really need to know where this all came from.

194
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:38,079
Speaker 1: This is gonna bother me the good so many hops

195
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 1: back in her STUV drives away just let her go

196
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,840
Speaker 1: dumbfounded as they are. They just watched her drive away.

197
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,880
Speaker 1: Apparently didn't they didn't think it was like, you know,

198
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:51,520
Speaker 1: explosive or anything. So they're like, okay, yeah, So the

199
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,959
Speaker 1: question of what to do with this, uh, you know,

200
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,079
Speaker 1: dropped off at the cop shop. It falls to the

201
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,280
Speaker 1: lieutenant on charge, and so lieutenants like, let me see

202
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,439
Speaker 1: the footage. They start going the cops work lt what

203
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 1: are we do about the dukeye bucket? And he's like, well,

204
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,319
Speaker 1: I don't know. So one of the cops lieutenants is like,

205
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,200
Speaker 1: they're all watching security footage. She's like, wait, I recognize

206
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 1: that voice. Her voice. He had spoken with her earlier

207
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,720
Speaker 1: that day and they have been discussing, as he said,

208
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:21,960
Speaker 1: human excrement. Well we'll wait, he would he had been talking,

209
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,960
Speaker 1: I don't know, if they're three years at the grocery market.

210
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. Actually, wouldn't be funny if a baby

211
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,360
Speaker 1: you can stop? What if a baby pooped in the sandwich?

212
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 1: Mindy enough the cops now they've got this, these buckets

213
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 1: of poops that now I don't know what to do.

214
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,120
Speaker 1: So they called the city of electures, like the office

215
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,680
Speaker 1: like the Mayor's office, like, hey, we got this dukey drop.

216
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,040
Speaker 1: What should we do with these buckets of poop? They're like, uh,

217
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,079
Speaker 1: your cops figure it out. The cops were like darn it.

218
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 1: So then they called Mindy like, hey, Mindy stevens Um.

219
00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:57,920
Speaker 1: She's like, yes, uh, Mindy, ma'am, you left your buckets

220
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,320
Speaker 1: of poop down at the cops shop. And she's yeah,

221
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:04,400
Speaker 1: that's for y'all to eat, you know, like each listen here, Mindy,

222
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,560
Speaker 1: we don't need all that kind of talk. We don't

223
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,520
Speaker 1: care about your recommendations for our dietary habits. Now, look,

224
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,640
Speaker 1: you come down here and you pick up your pooh

225
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,760
Speaker 1: or else what copper? And she's like, oh, well, we

226
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,040
Speaker 1: hadn't expected that one else. Will return it to you

227
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,640
Speaker 1: at our earliest convenience, Mindy, and we'll charge you. We'll

228
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,679
Speaker 1: do it. She's like, with what pig? Well, Mindy, why

229
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,000
Speaker 1: is all this necessary. We're gonna have to come down there.

230
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,520
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to get one of the sewer guys

231
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 1: to come down here and pick up the poo. Do

232
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,800
Speaker 1: you want Dwayne to have to come down here on

233
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,600
Speaker 1: his day off, Mendy And she's like, well that sounds

234
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,160
Speaker 1: like a you problem and possibly a Dwayne problem. She's like,

235
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,280
Speaker 1: not into it. She leaves the buckets of poop. Turns

236
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:43,520
Speaker 1: out this is they were fifty pounds. Yes, And as

237
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:45,679
Speaker 1: I told you, I had the same question you did

238
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,200
Speaker 1: reading it, which is was it all her like? How

239
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,480
Speaker 1: like was this over the course of a long traded

240
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,000
Speaker 1: time where she's like, after three buckets, She's like, I'm

241
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,240
Speaker 1: running out of room in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, seasonal

242
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 1: like pure Mindy, I'm going to be sick Booty Fruit

243
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:15,800
Speaker 1: Harvest sick. Lots of dumb criminals, but fewer as dumb

244
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,480
Speaker 1: as this dropped down crew that I'm about to tell you.

245
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,760
Speaker 1: They're called the Candy Rapper Bandits. Now, don't get it twisted,

246
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,960
Speaker 1: but the candy Rapper Bandits they are not good criminals. Yes,

247
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,960
Speaker 1: they were amateurs. In fact, they would be what I

248
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 1: would call bad at crime. Like if I was a

249
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,840
Speaker 1: criminal career counselor and they came into my office, like

250
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,720
Speaker 1: what kind of career do you have for us? And

251
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,760
Speaker 1: I'd be like, you people are not good at cross

252
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,800
Speaker 1: why they wind up on the show. Yeah, have you

253
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,760
Speaker 1: ever thought about maybe a career in politics, maybe a

254
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,880
Speaker 1: little easy or lower the bar for you. So these

255
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,560
Speaker 1: seven never do wells. They lived in flop houses about

256
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 1: thirty miles outside of Landed, Georgia, and the candy Rapper

257
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 1: Bandits would break into homes and cars and they would

258
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 1: you know, just steal pretty much whatever they could grab

259
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,600
Speaker 1: and carry. So we're talking weapons, money, hand tools to change. Yeah,

260
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,840
Speaker 1: pretty much like you know, like a summer coat, you know, like, oh,

261
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,600
Speaker 1: so I need to like Jack. So the one of

262
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,640
Speaker 1: the bandits they were, they must have been hungry. One

263
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 1: of their big jobs because the crew goes in breaks

264
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,240
Speaker 1: into a house and he grabs not only some just

265
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,080
Speaker 1: random loot and you know, candlesticks whatever else. He also

266
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,119
Speaker 1: grabs a bag of Milky Way minis and he proceeds

267
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 1: to leave the crime scene and eat from the bag

268
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 1: of Milky Way minis, leaving the roun behind him, and

269
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 1: he creates his Hansel and Gretel bread crumb the crime

270
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 1: scene directly to their like hidden layer if you will.

271
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 1: All seven members were busted, and now I have to

272
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 1: find new people to hang out with when I'm in Atlanta.

273
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss those guys. Anyway, we'll take a break there.

274
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 1: We'll be back after this with more of the best

275
00:15:44,720 --> 00:16:10,200
Speaker 1: crime stories of all Right, Elizabeth, our next one is

276
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,040
Speaker 1: a Florida Man special. Okay, there are no buckets, involve buckets,

277
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,080
Speaker 1: no duke. No. This headline is it reads in a

278
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 1: way that maybe a little confusing, and you, as a grammarian,

279
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:24,320
Speaker 1: may spot it right here we go Florida man steals car,

280
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 1: train sends it crashing into house, steals car train, sent punctuation.

281
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 1: There's a semicolon, So it goes Florida man steals car,

282
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 1: semi colon, train sends it crashing into house. Okay, if

283
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 1: there's a semi I get it. But like you read

284
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 1: it quick, it's like, okay, maybe that's why God bless

285
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 1: the semicolon. Can I just talk about how much I

286
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 1: love a semicolon? And I'm not being silly here? Yeah,

287
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 1: what are you like? Three poems to the semicon? Yeah?

288
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,000
Speaker 1: I have one tattooed on my forehead. That chap book

289
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 1: was amazing, but I mean you can't see it because

290
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 1: I have my bangs in my face. Well, to me,

291
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 1: the headline it sounded like he stole a car, then

292
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 1: a train, and then he sent the train flying into

293
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,200
Speaker 1: a house, which would be impressive, would be super impressive.

294
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 1: But the story goes in February import Lucy, Florida, a

295
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 1: thirty eight year old man was drunk and he couldn't

296
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 1: find his car. So what do you think this chap

297
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 1: chose to do. He's drunk and he can't find his car,

298
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 1: So what does he do in Florida? Drunk can't find

299
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 1: his car and he's tried hitting the little panic button.

300
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know if he's tied the panic button.

301
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 1: That was not in the stories I read. Well, i'll

302
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,560
Speaker 1: tell you what I'll give you him Elizabeth, thirty eight

303
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 1: year old drunken man and producer Dave knows all about

304
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 1: this program, not that he's ever used it, but he

305
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 1: was telling me about it in one of our meetings.

306
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 1: You weren't there, We're in the break room, we're talking

307
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 1: about it. He's like, you've heard about Florida's My Car

308
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 1: is Your Car program? And I was like, yeah, that's

309
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 1: the one that neighbors allowed drunks to borrow their car

310
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,640
Speaker 1: to go and find their own car or to drive

311
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 1: home He's like, yeah, that is just amazing program. The

312
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,879
Speaker 1: Florida is such a safety first state, and like that.

313
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 1: Of course I'm lying. So so we still have this

314
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,239
Speaker 1: thirty eight year old drunk dude just trying to get home.

315
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 1: So Elizabeth, producer Dave and I weren't able to come

316
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,800
Speaker 1: up with the right answer. Do you think he got

317
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 1: a shot? What did he do? He stole a car? Yes,

318
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 1: good job, he stole a car. So, according to Florida's

319
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: sheriff deputies, the drunk stole a car quote in a

320
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 1: good faith effort to locate his own. So he's like,

321
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 1: I'll just borrow this car. Car. So Swan isn't still

322
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,199
Speaker 1: he borrowed. Yeah, so he borrows stole a stranger's car,

323
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 1: he drunk drives it around town, and then he'll just

324
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 1: leave it wherever his car was with a note hope

325
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 1: you find this or sorry. I don't know what his

326
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 1: plan was, maybe a tip for some gas money. But

327
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 1: really from his perspective, you have to understand that this

328
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,120
Speaker 1: is a problem solver. I mean, this is like, look,

329
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: I'm going to get to my car done. It sounds

330
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 1: like he is really successful at solving all of the

331
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 1: problems in his life. Yeah, he's really good. It sounds

332
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 1: like he's a solution Maven. Really right. Now, the problem

333
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 1: was that his first problem turned into a second problem

334
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 1: because he was driving around drunk in the stranger's car

335
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 1: that he stole borrow, and then he got stuck on

336
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: train tracks and he was like, oh my god. So

337
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 1: he's like, well, my stolen car is all stuck. I

338
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: can push it. I don't know. But then our little

339
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 1: drunken self do good or he spots a freight train

340
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: coming right at him. So what does he do? Now?

341
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 1: Of course, he does the right thing, takes a nap

342
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: he leaf from the stolen car, saving himself. Total hero move.

343
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 1: The train smashes into the car, and the train is

344
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 1: going fast enough that it sends the stolen car flying

345
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: off the tracks up into the air like mighty mouse.

346
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 1: And the stolen car slams into a house. I remember

347
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 1: this is the middle of the night, so these people

348
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 1: are sleeping the hall. All of a sudden, some stranger's

349
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: car slams into the side of their house from the

350
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: sky like ripples out from this guy's bad choice of

351
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: like and you know that, Okay, he's like thirty eight,

352
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: he's drunk at some like dive bar. I'm gonna guess

353
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 1: you're spot on. So he's living his best life and

354
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 1: then he's oh my god, the poor people's house. Now

355
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 1: they yeah, he's already getting four point in the School

356
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 1: of Life. So luckily no one was hurt from the

357
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,880
Speaker 1: flying car, thank god. But now they got to pay

358
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 1: for all the repairs. Oh yeah, there's a total insurance.

359
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 1: And the drunk man has to get home. Elizabeth. He's

360
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: still not home, is he? What's he going to do now? Well,

361
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 1: being a good Samaritan for himself, he goes out and

362
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 1: he finds something else to steal. This time he farklift

363
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: outside of a fruit stand. It's like it's been waiting

364
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 1: for him, Like he says, hey, you need me, steal me.

365
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 1: So look like in Richard's Scary Busy Town, it's like, oh,

366
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: a farklift in Now. You seem to be kind of

367
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: in a judgmental mood, so you have no idea. I

368
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: think you're ignoring the fact that this man is a

369
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 1: hero for himself himself. Home, be your own hero, Elizabeth. Okay,

370
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: now I bet he was doing all this. You know,

371
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 1: I've thought about this for a second, like a second,

372
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: if you should all this criming to save a puppy,

373
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: you'd be applauding him. Well, yeah, right exactly. If he

374
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, I'm gonna say this baby Koala who's

375
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 1: lost in Florida, and I'm gonna get it home by

376
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 1: stealing this forklift, you'd be like. But he's like, look,

377
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get this trunk man home all of a sudden,

378
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: it's all everything exactly. Well, as my German friend often

379
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: likes to say, be your own hero, and I'm just

380
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 1: gonna keep returning that, Elizabeth, be your own hero. Now

381
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 1: he doesn't call me Elizabeth. He does call me. He

382
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 1: calls me Dizzy. He's like your own hero Dizzy. No,

383
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 1: he doesn't call me that anyway. So our Florida man

384
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: he's finally able to get himself arrested. When he's driving

385
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: around the forklift, he spots some cops, so he naturally

386
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: he flags the cops down. He's like, I don't think

387
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: these cops see me on the stone forklifts, so he

388
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: waves to them. The cops drive over, and you may

389
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: be thinking, now, why would he want to fly down

390
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 1: the deputies, Well, because Elizabeth, he wanted the cops to

391
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: know he was being his own hero. You guys don't

392
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: need to worry about me. I got this one, guys,

393
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: he tells them, I don't need you, I don't need anybody.

394
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: I'm fine. I just I'm just still looking for my car.

395
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: Don't worry, I'm the depth bees. They decide not to

396
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: help this Florida man self hero. Instead, they arrested him.

397
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: So like, is the plot twist that he didn't have

398
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: a car in the first he had a car. He

399
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 1: totably had a car. I love the flagging of day.

400
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 1: Look at me, I'm doing a great job. I got

401
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: this one guy. You can carry on, which is like

402
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: it's got to be the middle of the night, right,

403
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 1: And they weren't going to stop a guy on a

404
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: forklift until he waved them down there like, well, there's

405
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: a guy in a tank top on a forklift at

406
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: four in the more. Hope he doesn't need help. Good

407
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: for him. So all right, Elizabeth, you ready to get

408
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: into it? Always okay, I just paused to say something.

409
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: Sure you both look so nice today. I mean, I

410
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 1: really appreciate you guys getting all dolled up for this

411
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: year end review that I got. Of course, let me

412
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: producer Dave, I gotta ask, where did you get that

413
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 1: ruffled tuxedo shirt? Oh? This this old rag? Can I

414
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: do a plug on this show? Am I allowed? Yeah,

415
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 1: of course, go for Uh. There's a guy named Van Jansen.

416
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 1: Huh the places dicker and dicker, Beverly Hills. He will

417
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: set you up and loves boarding small business. The man

418
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 1: knows the slack. He knows a slack, he knows his

419
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: way around a ruffle and uh, and he likes those

420
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 1: the French cuffs. He always consists that I get I

421
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: don't have any you know, cuff links. But he's like,

422
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 1: this is the way that you really distinguish yourself. So

423
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: thank you. I appreciate it. Extra you were over there

424
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: like I Candy, the yellow tuxedo, blue ruffles. I mean

425
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 1: you goddamn Sunflower and Elizabeth, I gotta say, I mean

426
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,479
Speaker 1: not everyone can pull off a meat dress. I mean

427
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: you and Lady Gaga. For me, I heard Sharkuterie board

428
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: and I thought, you know you were dressing them. Yeah,

429
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,919
Speaker 1: you can work a theme girl. I mean you were like, oh,

430
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear my BuOrd Is camp but they like boom, Yes,

431
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: I just love it. It just says like love meat,

432
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: love meat, just love. Yeah exactly is that Lady Gaga

433
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 1: did it with the raw, but I just have the

434
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: various smoked meats. That's why all those raccoons are pawing

435
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: at the window. I was wondering. I thought that I

436
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: was your whole, Like, yeah, they could smell it. There's

437
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: your courtier that you brought with you. You know they've

438
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: been following me for like six blocks to get you. Well.

439
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: Thank you both for noticing my outfit. I wore my

440
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: formal Magnum p I short shorts and a Lohas shirt

441
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,120
Speaker 1: showing lots of thigh meat. It's fantastic. In my pockets.

442
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: I've got my lucky warm imitation crab meat. I want

443
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: to make sure I get everything right. Okay, you guys ready,

444
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: But can I tell you that those blue cowboy boots

445
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 1: really set off the shorts electric blue. Yeah, thank you,

446
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: that was extra. I had just died the crab meat. Yeah.

447
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why the raccoons are here too. That's just

448
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 1: the That's what I call a Roman therapy. So ready

449
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: for the top ten most ridiculous crimes producing Dave you

450
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: on board? You hooked, I'm ready all right, where we

451
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 1: go the first injury in our top ten lists. Reminding

452
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 1: me the story you did Elizabeth about your your due

453
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: to tell Onmbrus. Yeah, the drunken ice hockey plan, bank

454
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: robbing legend, all around, good time guy, well as sloppy

455
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: as he got with all his bank robberies. I was

456
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,120
Speaker 1: reading this story and I was like, a Tillombreus would

457
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: never So starting out number ten, man robs bank hands

458
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: teller note written on his own birth certificate. So a Springfield,

459
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: Missouri man wanted some loots, so he went to where

460
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: loot was. He used to Willie Sutton principle. He's like, well, banks,

461
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 1: that's where the lootst. So he went down there. He's like,

462
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need some Lucci and the banks are like,

463
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: huh do you have an account sir? And he was like,

464
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: it turns out I do not, but that should not

465
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: be a problem because he had professional skills as a

466
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: bank robber. So this cat walks into the bank and

467
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: he's wearing, by the way, a court ordered ankle monitor,

468
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: which was later used to confirm his presence at the back.

469
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: One fantastic accessory. But before we go sliding down this

470
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: water slide into stupid at the top. His plan was,

471
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk into this bank with my ankle monitor,

472
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,439
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to the cashier window, going to hand

473
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: her a note, and just as cool as sip on

474
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: on a slurpean sidbery, I'm gonna walk out with some loot.

475
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: And the bank was like, no, that's not happening. He's like,

476
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: oh wait, I prepared. You see, I got my note

477
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 1: written in pink high lighter and he hands it like me, like,

478
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 1: oh takedown this number. Oh crap. Okay, So he wrote

479
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: on his note, which he slid to the bank teller

480
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: and said give your money now, don't say anything. I

481
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: have a partner outside in pink high lighter. So the

482
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 1: pank teller reason note. She looks up at the thirty

483
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: year old bank robber and he looks dead serious, really

484
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: like I mean this. He's like okay, So she does

485
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: as instructed. She gives him the money. Now he's got

486
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 1: the stolen luten hand. Bank robber flees the scene, runs out.

487
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 1: He does have a partner waiting. He hops in a

488
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: black Dodge Ram trucks. Please the cops arrived on the

489
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: scene doesn't take him long to solve this robbery because,

490
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: for one, the police received a tip from the bank

491
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: robbers roommates girlfriend. Oh, she was like people, hello, nine

492
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 1: one one, Yeah, y'all want to know where to pick

493
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: up That dumb son of a robbed the bank today.

494
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: His name is Michael Conley Lloyd and he lives at

495
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: and so literally told him everything. The roommates girlfriend, though

496
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: she may have told the cops the address and like

497
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,159
Speaker 1: waited there for them to arrive, she didn't really need

498
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: to do that because his dumb ass would have been

499
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: busted because on the back of the note written a

500
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: pink hie lighter. The one he slipped the bank teller

501
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: was a copy of his own burst certificate, all his

502
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: name everything. We'll just take it from here, thank you.

503
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: He was busted by it that evening. And this guy

504
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: loves cops. He just wanted to make I'm going to

505
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 1: be a star. I'm going viral watch this. How does

506
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: this happen? Dumb happens? That drugs is the one piece

507
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: of paper in his home. If I think he probably

508
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: went he needed to get an I D. Then he's like,

509
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: I don't have any money for the idea. I'm gonna

510
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: go rob a bank to get money from my I

511
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: d and he used the one piece of paper in

512
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: his car. He's like, oh darn it, I needed that.

513
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's my guess. Ready for number nine.

514
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: There's a lot of lead paint in this the number nine.

515
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 1: The headline says it all for this. One man shoots

516
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: himself at corn maze trying to get corn out of

517
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 1: his boot. The crime here, in case you were wondering

518
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: being damn dumb. In October this year, thirty year old

519
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: man went to a local corn maze to celebrate I

520
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: don't know, the fall festive corn Halloween season, just yeah

521
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,719
Speaker 1: corn being an American, being good American. Now he ran

522
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: it a little trouble, and that little trouble was his

523
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: own dumbass. He got stuck in the corn maze. No,

524
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: he was actually something called the corn pit. I don't

525
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: know what a corn pit is, but I imagine it's

526
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: like a giant hole like that, look that was the

527
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: gates of Hell and stand imagine that, but like you

528
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: just dumped all the year's corn in there, and like

529
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: a big hole in the ground that if you take

530
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: a misstep in the corn maze, you wind up in

531
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: the corn pit you're in like human trafficking, and they're

532
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: just gonna order they have to feed a beast that

533
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: lives in the corn pit. The ball rug will eat

534
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: you offer these guys that of our corn Maze participants

535
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: get offered up to the cornet. I just kind of

536
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: pictured drunks and children sitting in this corn pit together

537
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: and children. I had to look it up and I

538
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: did find I thought you might want to know. A

539
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: corn pit apparently is like a and I quote a

540
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: pile of shelled corn akin to a sandbox. So I

541
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: don't know if it's loose corn kernels or like the

542
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: actual sheaths like you know. The all this is making

543
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: me think of is that the beginning of the pandemic,

544
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: when there was the run on toilet paper. I knew

545
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: someone who will remain nameless, who didn't understand why people

546
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: were trying to buy toilet paper because he said if

547
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: they if you run out, you just use corn cobs. Yes,

548
00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: I know him, do you know him? And he would

549
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: argue this over and over again and not be able

550
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: to explain where people would source said corn cops, but

551
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: that it was. He would get very heated and angry

552
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,719
Speaker 1: about people trying to buy toilet paper, because why wouldn't

553
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: you just use corn cop. That's plenty of corn cops.

554
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: It's America offered up everywhere about how this person lives

555
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: his life. But yeah, that's what this is, reminding me

556
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: of corn cop. You should find that person. How did

557
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: your pandemic go? Starr? I wonder whatever happened to him?

558
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 1: Probably somewhere. Sounds like a real ambitious sort. So our suspect,

559
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: who will just get back to for all reasons, he

560
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: was the Twin Cities corn maze. Thank you for asking,

561
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: Elizabeth and um the Purple was quote this is a

562
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: quote from the new story was quote bending over at

563
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 1: the waist removing corn from his boot when the firearm

564
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: he was carrying on his hip discharged. So he's strapped

565
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: at a corn Mazey, he's got he's got quote unquote

566
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,239
Speaker 1: he's got corn in his quote unquote boot Casey. When

567
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: he comes at him and wants to give him some

568
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: problems in his corn hole, he's look comes around the

569
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: corner really quick in the in the maze, Plamo, that's

570
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: what I was wondering. A mean, he was he like

571
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: terrified by the children of a corn as a kid

572
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: like where he like, well, you know, I've heard a

573
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: lot of hoodlums hang out in the corn. Made you

574
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: get you get mugged in the corn man beaten up

575
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: by a scarecrow? Like, what's his good story? Anyway? Dude

576
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: shoot himself in the upper thigh meat and uh a

577
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: good time was still had by all corn festival didn't

578
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: even close. They just keep his rolland comes out on

579
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: his stretcher. So I let's take another little break and

580
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: get back through it. I'll let you calm down, be

581
00:31:42,760 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: back with some more. Okay, Elizabeth? He ready? Yes, Now

582
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: I got number eight for you. Loudmouth crank drives car

583
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: into wet cement during slow speed car chase with cops.

584
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: I love this because I feel like it could be

585
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: about me. Yeah, I'm a loudmouth crank and I drive

586
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: really slowly. Let's pretend this is you. Okay, Okay, you're ready. Yes.

587
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: So it was about five thirty pm when a fifty

588
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: three year old woman you was driving around with a

589
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: bullhorn shouting at people who were walking around in towntown Rochester, Minnesota?

590
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: Was this me? And I didn't know about it? I

591
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: want a bullhorn? She was just like she's drive by shouting, shouting.

592
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: I don't know she Apparently she was like really into God.

593
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people who have bullhorns are

594
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: into God. She was saying some stuff about God. I

595
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 1: don't know which way she was going with it. Trave

596
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: and I my brother Travis, who was on guest on

597
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: their episode A Good Kid Um. He and I when

598
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: we were younger, we'd be driving around and we played

599
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: this game called Robot Observer where if you're like in

600
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: slow traffic in like a like a pedestrian friendly district

601
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: of like shopping district, he would be in the passenger

602
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: seat with the window down, and he would just announce

603
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: an item of clothing that someone was wearing. So you're

604
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: not like heckling people who just go like blue polo

605
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: shirt and then someone looks like I'm wearing and then

606
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 1: they looked around, and then we would just look straight

607
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: ahead like nothing was going on. So you're just getting

608
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: people like weird feleny moments or they're not sure what's

609
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: happening in traffic, orange polar fleece and they just be

610
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: like and they're talking to me hysterics, But you had

611
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: to be like secret hysterics and then I wish we

612
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: had a bullhorn for it, so we'll get you one.

613
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: So it could have been we could have been on

614
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: the show. Well, the Rochester police would not be into

615
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: your jam, so that wouldn't play in Minnesota. Probably not

616
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: the Rochester police. They pulled him behind this one's car

617
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: and they're like, ma'am, you on the bullhorn, hits the

618
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: lights in the sirens, try to pull over. So she

619
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: shouts on her bullhorn, oh look, I'm getting pulled over. Yes,

620
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: she narrates her nice for polo her and she then decides,

621
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not going to do that, so

622
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: she hops to not be pulled over, and it was like,

623
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: forget all of that. A sovereign citizen, which amazing. So

624
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: she punches it on the accelerator, or rather she lightly

625
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 1: floorted on the accelerator. She gently swerved into oncoming traffic

626
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: and tried to drive away right now. The cop was like,

627
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: I'll come on, lady, and apparently in Rochester, Minnesota, they're like,

628
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,959
Speaker 1: we're not going to, uh, you know, do high speed

629
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: car chases. That's just not what we do around here.

630
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: So he lets her go and he then watches as

631
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: she does her slow speed getaway and drives into a

632
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 1: construction zone and she hits the sign that warns this

633
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: is a construction zone and O r old Jenny scoff law.

634
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: She tries to drive into what is hardening cement. Right,

635
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: So the construction workers had just finished It's four thirty

636
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 1: in the afternoon. They have just finished work, so the

637
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: cement concrete guys are still there. They're leaving the job

638
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 1: side when they turned around and they get to see

639
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: this dingleling drive like I don't know, Chevy suburban right

640
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: into the the cement, the wet samancos wood and she's

641
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: up to the wheel wells in her like you know,

642
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: station wagon or whatever it is. The car eventually stops

643
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: dead in the conference and she's sitting there and there's

644
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: this guy and I witnessed, so I have an account

645
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: of it for you from Robert samenco of Chippewa Concrete.

646
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 1: He said he and a co workers quote had heard

647
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 1: and a quote all of a sudden, a big loud bang,

648
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: and they spin around and they see, as Samanca was saying,

649
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: this woman just spinning her wheels right and a quote

650
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: she bottom right out. She tried spinning her tires to

651
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: keep going, but she just couldn't. He's sitting there on

652
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: her damnit, let me go. The cops are standing there

653
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: like watching Samanco and the cement guys are watching, and

654
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: the police then try to attempt to pull her from

655
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 1: the vehicle, but she will she won't, so she keeps

656
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 1: yelling at them with the ball Are you stay away

657
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: from me? People are gathering Samanco. The cement guy is

658
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: just like, well, I guess we had now just yeah,

659
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: added another day to the work he was prepared for.

660
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 1: Samanko to samantais all philosophical about it, he said in

661
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 1: I quote, we get this once a year. It's early,

662
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: so maybe twice a year. Once a year here somebody

663
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 1: gets like road rage and drives into Bay Summant shop. Okay,

664
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: what's going on up? It's Minnesota, baby, Minnesota. It's a

665
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: beautiful place. No. Number seven. Ye you're ready? Yeah, headline

666
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: to stoners sue California pot company for selling weak joints.

667
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 1: How did you get the paper? My lawsuit had a

668
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: good lawyer. The company, in case you wanted to know,

669
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: is Jeter Brand Joints And according to to California potheads,

670
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: Cabbiete and tor The pair of burners hired a lawyer

671
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: to sue this California pot company for selling weak as joints.

672
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: So they were like the stoners, They've been purchasing pre

673
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: rolls and they were greatly disappointed with the effect efficacy.

674
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: So just been told, yes that those are pretty potent. Yeah, no, no, no,

675
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: it's usually it's the worst weed. They basically like the

676
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 1: hot Dog of weed. It's like the butcher just grabbed

677
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: everything that fell off the table and then just turned

678
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: it into a pre roll. The I was you were misinformed,

679
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: like the waters in Casablanca. You were informed, So Jaspersentino,

680
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: Long Beach and Blake Wilson of Fresno, which is the

681
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: opposite of fres Yes, he alleged that quote Jeter pre

682
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,959
Speaker 1: rolls are total bunk man like rip off city. Bro Okay,

683
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: that's not actually a quote. But then I was like

684
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 1: that from the court trans According to California state law,

685
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: and I did not know this, any weed sold in

686
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 1: California must be as strong as claimed on the packaging. Now,

687
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 1: there is a ten percent legal allowance for the th

688
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: HC contents. It's kind of like how the HP gives

689
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: you ten percent of speed variants. They do the same

690
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: thing with POT. So if you say you're pot is

691
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: thirty seven percent t HC, it's got to be at

692
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: least twenty seven percent. Otherwise. The lawyers for these plaintive

693
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: come after you. They said, these people are overcharging customers

694
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: and that's now we're getting into commercial violations and so forth.

695
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 1: FTC so A dream Fields, the company that owns Jeter brand.

696
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: They called the lawsuits claims quote baseless and ridiculous, and

697
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: the Stoner plaintiffs assured the court that their claims were

698
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: totally based candidates publication weed Week, which in case you

699
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: don't if you don't read it, it's like the women's

700
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: wear daily for Weed. So weed Week it was it

701
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: tested these Jeter and it said the Jeter pre roles

702
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: are listed as having fort th So weed Week went

703
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: and tested this and they found that they were closer

704
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: to twenty three to twenty seven percent, so they were

705
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: below and plaintifts have a strong case, And it looks

706
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: like we may have found a plot for our next

707
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: great Stoner buddy comedy slash courtroom dramas. Harold and Kumar

708
00:38:55,640 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: go to the Supreme Court. Alright, next, sup Elizabeth number six.

709
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 1: Woman sues Geico car insurance for giving her STD. Court

710
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 1: orders Geico to pay five point two millions. Wow around

711
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: what Geico doing on its weekends? Get party, Missouri woman

712
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,919
Speaker 1: sue Geico for giving her an STD. The judge said,

713
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 1: and I quote, get out your check book, Mr Lizard. No,

714
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: that's not a real quote. It is something akin to that.

715
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: The woman told the court that she had contracted an

716
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: STD from having sex in her car between November and December.

717
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: In February one, she filed a lawsuit alleging that Geico

718
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: was to blame. Now you may be wondering, Zaren, how

719
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: can my car insurance be to blame for me getting

720
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: an STD? And I'm glad that that was the question

721
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: in my head. Apparently she had that good, good car insurance,

722
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: because it's like, I want collision and bumping grind insurance.

723
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: That's confidence. So I don't know, I don't have Geico,

724
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: I don't have to. Well, I'll let you know. So

725
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: the way he committed to the court that she found

726
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 1: out that her partner gave her an STD, and then

727
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: she contacted Geico was like, well, what y'all gonna do

728
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: about this? And Geico was like, miss, how is your

729
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: sex life our problem? And the customers like, um, I

730
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: think you need to fix this, and I believe I

731
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 1: am always right, and the Guico was like, no, you're

732
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: an idiot. I'm sorry, you need to stop calling us.

733
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: But the customers like, uh no, uh and I quote,

734
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: my insurance policy provides coverage from my injuries and losses,

735
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 1: and since I had sex in my car, you better

736
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 1: get ready to pay up. Getico so like, girl, you high,

737
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 1: we are not paying for all that, And the customers like,

738
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,720
Speaker 1: fine a million dollars and I'll drop the case. Geico

739
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: was like seeing corporate and Geico no, not really, but

740
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,840
Speaker 1: this is my imagining of the conversation. Geico did not

741
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: see any of that. But anyway, the case gets sent

742
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: to an arbitrator. Right now. The arbitrator said, and I

743
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: quote there was sexual activity in insured automobile end quote.

744
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: This said sexual activity quote directly caused or directly contributed

745
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 1: to cause the STD infection. So furthermore, five point two

746
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: million sounds about right for customer damages and injuries. So

747
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: Geico ruling it was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I

748
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: thought we just heard you say we owe her five

749
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: point two million. I've got to stop sniffing glue before

750
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,919
Speaker 1: these court arbitrations because that couldn't be what you said

751
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: that The arbitrators like, did I stutter five point two million?

752
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: So Geico appealed the ruling of three judge panel heard

753
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: the case. They're like, okay, can we get this back

754
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: to reality and earth? And the three judges are all like,

755
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: oh yeah, get out to check. But Geico, you should

756
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: have taken that one million dollars? Are you kidding me?

757
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: So they had to pay five point two million dollars?

758
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 1: Is everyone Geico insurance? Tomorrow? If you have injury with

759
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ride up everything. I'm gonna say, Geico, you

760
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: should have protected me from this head wound I got.

761
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 1: I am as pale as they come, so I get

762
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: sunburned and then I have skin cancer. Now thanks could

763
00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: have protected me? Geico. Oh I don't know, sweet cheesy crackers,

764
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know what to say.

765
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 1: They can'tica, I love the Amedica. Wow, okay, so ready

766
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: to keep this crazy? I just gotta go to switch

767
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 1: my hurts to go now. Maybe they'll sorry flow from progressive.

768
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm on a new jam. You didn't protect me from

769
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 1: my STDs. They would have to prove up that like

770
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: it happened in the car. Apparently she's saying, that's the

771
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: only place you should have been able to protect me

772
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: from this accident that I had in my car. I

773
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: don't get it. I cannot process this. But I got

774
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 1: another one for you. Thank you. Let's keep the crazy

775
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 1: train going. I love trains. We're now on the top five,

776
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 1: ELIZABETHA top five. Okay, we've got another lawsuit. The headline

777
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 1: doesn't quite say at all, but it says enough. Ready

778
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: woman who claims she developed for an accent after l

779
00:42:54,280 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: A X shuttle collision can't resend settlement. A woman claimed

780
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: she was walking in l a out by the airport

781
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: and she gets hit by a Hilton shuttle bus because

782
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: they got like Hilton Hilton Hotels right there, you know,

783
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: so then you know you may even been on it.

784
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: I was probably driving it. Hit that woman, get her

785
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: out of the way my flight. So anyway, the Hilton

786
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 1: claims that the woman was lying and that the bus

787
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 1: never hit her but merely just cut her off while

788
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,359
Speaker 1: she was crossing the intersection, and that she faked her

789
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: injuries as a result, and so you know, you may

790
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: be wondering there, what are her injuries? Question? Her injuries

791
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: that she claims was, I mean, she was hit by

792
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: the Hilton bus. She began to suffer from what is

793
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: a very very very rare medical condition which causes a

794
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 1: person to speak with a foreign accent. That yeah, I have.

795
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: It's a latent, it's intermittent. Yeah, I was born with it.

796
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: It's a congenital condition. I've always had foreign accent syndrome.

797
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: But anyway, Elizabeth, according to the court, the woman said, quote,

798
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: she'd been born and raised in the US, but she

799
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: spoke to the jury and some sort of European accent,

800
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: so much like me, like it was some sort of

801
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: European accent. Is last continental European, Russian? Is she irishan Belgian?

802
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 1: Who knows? Why not? Everything? He's continental, Elizabeth. So this

803
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: is this syndrome is called ambient foreign accent syndrome. And

804
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: that's where your accent kind of wanders do No, actually

805
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 1: that the real one is just called foreign accent syndrome.

806
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: I made up the ambient one. But then, since nineteen

807
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 1: o seven, there have been a grand total one people

808
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 1: who have been diagnosed with legitimate foreign accent syndrome. This

809
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: woman was not one of them, but apparently, like there

810
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: was a very most famous case, by the way, a

811
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 1: person who had a Spanish accent suddenly began to speak

812
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: with a Hungarian accent. And they were not Hungarian and

813
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody Hungarian, but they had a really thick

814
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 1: Hungarian It's a very fascinating anyway. But this woman didn't

815
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: have a damn thing. And the judge was like, you

816
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 1: better get out of my courtroom with that nonsense. The

817
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: chair of settlement, which he tried to rest because her

818
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: lawyer was like, I don't have to do with this,

819
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: and it became a whole mess. She lost everything. So

820
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 1: the court is like accent changes been, the jury is

821
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: out of the room. She's like l A X. And

822
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: California has like the most protections ever for pedestrians, Like

823
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: pedestrians have the right of way, like even if you're

824
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: just thinking about crossing a crosswalk, if it's an intersection

825
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: a crosswalk, if you're an intersection, the crosswalk is presumed,

826
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 1: and so wow, she should have just let go of

827
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: that one. Ready for number four, man shows up at

828
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:37,399
Speaker 1: e er with bomb and his rectum. Excuse me, this producer, Dave,

829
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: did you say his rectum wrecked him a damn near

830
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 1: killed him, Dave. Oh, no, French dude. And this guy

831
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: wasn't French dude. Years. Oh this man he LEAs the bomb.

832
00:45:55,040 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 1: He's so apparently, this kinky frenchman was a Saturday night

833
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: and he was looking for some extra special feelings. So

834
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 1: he pulled out a World War One artillery show and

835
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 1: that one he had, and he just went to work

836
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: fitting into the backflap of his union suit, if you

837
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And his man on bomb revelry,

838
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: he got this World One relic good and stuck in

839
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 1: there right, just good. And so he tucked on down

840
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 1: to the emergency room. He's like, what's up? Doc? Can'd

841
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: of rock? What's up? Doc? And the doc was like,

842
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 1: oh man. So the hospital they weren't too keen on

843
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 1: this because it wasn't that they were laughing at this

844
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: poor man with the munitions in his butt. It was

845
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: there like that's a live munitions sale. So they have

846
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: to clear the hospital because he's got a bomb in

847
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: his book. So the pediatric emergency room, the adult emergency

848
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: room all had to be cleared out. Bomb experts had

849
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 1: to be called in, and they sent the robot. The

850
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: robot so it come in there and they all the

851
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: bomb experts have to expect the man's bomb. But and

852
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: the bomb experts they reassure the hospital. Yes, this man,

853
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: he has bombs, but his s bomb is no problem

854
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: for us, So it is unlikely to explode in the yard.

855
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: So the munitions lodge and this poor man's direct him

856
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: damn near killed him. Was safe for everyone but the

857
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: man with the bomb in his But he was the

858
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,760
Speaker 1: only one in danger. So the World War One munition

859
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: and the lead and all that could be he could

860
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,240
Speaker 1: go septic. So it was, by the way, eight inches

861
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: long and more than two inches wide. It was. It

862
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: was a long daddy, and uh one quick little surgery

863
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: later our French kink daddy was free of this unholy relic.

864
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: There you go, Wow, I had a bomb, mass booty.

865
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: You're ready for number three. So here with number three

866
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: and one, it's all gonna be fun, fun, fun, Elizabeth.

867
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: Number three woman attempts to run over X's family and

868
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 1: friends at his funeral. Oh, this one has a little

869
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: of everything. It is, as you say, all the way unhinged,

870
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,879
Speaker 1: full tilt crazy. The woman she woke up the morning

871
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: and she was like, I choose the vice where North

872
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,800
Speaker 1: Dakota far ago North Dakota, and you would expect that

873
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: this would it currently is not right I would expect.

874
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,839
Speaker 1: I had no expectations. Oh you're more you're more broad

875
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: minded them like this sounds like a Missouri crown me,

876
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: I don't know. In May, a North Dakota woman was

877
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: arrested at his cemetery after she had arrived at her

878
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: ex's funeral uninvited and to make matters where she drove

879
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 1: her suv across the cemetery grounds and she went there

880
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 1: to see that her ex had definitely passed away, like

881
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: I want to see it go in the grass, right,

882
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 1: She was that kind of like onward, but she wasn't

883
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 1: done with him or his family. Once he was on

884
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 1: the other side of the grass she was, she strapped

885
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: into her suv and decided to head over and see

886
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 1: what's what with who was still left mingling around the

887
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: open hall in the earth. So when she arrives at

888
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 1: the funeral, she spots to her people that she recognizes

889
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: and starts aiming at them. So the friends and the

890
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: fam of her ex have to run and she's scattering

891
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 1: the crowd at the funeral. Oh my god, there's a

892
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 1: reason she's an ex. So she's like trying to put

893
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 1: others in the dirt. Luckily no one gets hurt. But

894
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: twenty eight year old Blair Witten crashed into the Fargo,

895
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 1: North Dakota funeral with all the respect and propriety of

896
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: a wet fart. And thankfully no one gets you. As

897
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 1: I said, hit or hurt. But the police were already

898
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: well acquainted with Blair surprise, because this was not only

899
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 1: she hadn't driven across the sounds like arrow to it

900
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,439
Speaker 1: makes a lot of good decisions in life. But last

901
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 1: year she was arrested for spray painting a statue of

902
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 1: Jesus outside of a church in towntown Fargo. And if

903
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: you can believe it, she's spray painted Jesus's face black.

904
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 1: She wanted to make a black face Jesus for God

905
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,839
Speaker 1: knows what reasons. I don't know what message she's saying,

906
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: like black lives, Jesus matters. I don't know. Like this

907
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 1: is like I have no idea tear down this. Blair

908
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 1: was just wild now and then when she gets busted, Oh,

909
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 1: I was making a statement, No Blair, where you were

910
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: not doing, not tethered to reality, but thanks for trying.

911
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: Number two to wedding spirals into chaos after bride allegedly

912
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: laced food with pot. Yes. But in the last story,

913
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 1: the woman woke up that morning, she's like, I choose violence.

914
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 1: This woman woke up the bride She's like, I choose chaos. Yeah,

915
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: that's how you need to wake up every morning. I

916
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: choose chaos. So I'm reading this story, I'm like, what

917
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 1: in the Church of Teaching Chong was this bride? Thank you?

918
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: Because this wicked weed wedding? Guess what state it took

919
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 1: place in? Not California? Okay, is it somewhere that weed

920
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: is legal? Not exactly. Oh so medicinal, medicinal, I don't know.

921
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: Florida flood, Pablo Honey come to Florida. So this the

922
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,080
Speaker 1: little wedding surprise, was the idea of the bride in

923
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: her caterer to give her fifty guests a memorable time. Right.

924
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 1: The guests all sucked on meatballs, and they enjoyed the

925
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: caesar salad and the bread with herb dip, all of

926
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: which was doctor with wheat oil. So nobody be wiser.

927
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: The wedding guests are having fun until people start acting strangely.

928
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: One guest feels dizzy. She lowers herself on to all

929
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: four and starts vomiting profusely, seeing that they're like, oh,

930
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: looks like Becky's not having a good one different Yeah,

931
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 1: and they hit different for each person another. Another guest

932
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:35,840
Speaker 1: gets convinced that her heart was about to stop, so

933
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 1: she crawls out of the wedding on once again on

934
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 1: all four her car. Nobody apparently helps her. She gets

935
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: through the car starts texting her family, I love you,

936
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: I hope to see each other in her advice to everyone,

937
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be laughing, but there she is, minutes from

938
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,240
Speaker 1: death like hanging on the side of her car, texting

939
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 1: everyone she knows one truly unlucky guest. I believe this

940
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,320
Speaker 1: is the mother of the bride. She was taken to

941
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: the e R because she believed everybody was lying to her,

942
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 1: and she believed quote her husband wasn't telling her the

943
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 1: truth about her other family members. She was convinced that

944
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,360
Speaker 1: her son in law was dead, she was dying, and

945
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 1: that no one would tell her that she'd been poisoned.

946
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: This sounds like PCP Superspy, your PCP Superspy episode. You

947
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 1: gotta also wonder like the side I at the guests

948
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: who are just like chilling. They just keep eating, is

949
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 1: all right? They like, they just keeping me at the

950
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: right level, keeping me even so at the e R

951
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: mother of the bride is so unruly, so loud that

952
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: they end up having to drug her yet again, so

953
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 1: they put her down gun. The most memorable day of

954
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 1: her life the day my daughter gets So some guests, though,

955
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 1: they were a bit savvy, as you pointed out, and

956
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 1: some of them were even able to call nine one one,

957
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 1: So E M T s arrived, they're able to help people.

958
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: Cops arrive after that, and they quickly determined, you know what,

959
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 1: something ain't right here. So they're like, Deputy Bob, go

960
00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: over there and grab that. And they started grabbing up

961
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: foods apples, glass where pint glasses, Zanna dishes. Everything they put,

962
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: they tested all they put on the lab. They test

963
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 1: all of the stuff they can. They find out that

964
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,479
Speaker 1: the people had put weed, butter and damn near everything

965
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: but the water tested positive for pot weed oil. Mazanna

966
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: cheese anyway, and you know what, don't mess with it

967
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 1: like it's it takes you to another plane. Already Garfield

968
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 1: would be so bad that dumb the brider cater. They

969
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 1: both get charged with food tampering and if you you

970
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:41,280
Speaker 1: can believe this delivery of marijuana like yeah, like you okay,

971
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 1: but you got it. Oh my goodness, Elizabeth, we've reached

972
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: number one most ridiculous try. I'm of to day. Are

973
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: you excited? I cannot wait? Yes, this one. We're excited.

974
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: This will probably blow your ears back, may flip your wig,

975
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 1: curl my hair. It'll put a little pep in your step,

976
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:06,520
Speaker 1: or take it out. Yes. California woman drops phone into outhouse,

977
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: falls in head first and get stuck. It was just

978
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: like nightmare. Sheal continue A bad headline hit the internet,

979
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 1: and the internet hit back if everyone was like, what

980
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 1: are you talking? Because it was a Tuesday afternoon when

981
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: a California woman was in Washington State's Olympic National Park.

982
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: They're at the base of fot Mount Walker in case

983
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: you've never been to Olympic National have not been there.

984
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 1: So she was gazing up at the peak, odd and inspired,

985
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden she felt her bowels begin

986
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: to move. She's like, I need to go drop off

987
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: the kids at the pool. So she popped over to

988
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 1: the porta potty but it was like one of those

989
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 1: like nice ones, like a wood. She there, you go.

990
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: So she pops in there and uh, you know, she's

991
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: uh in her forties, but she's like, I need to

992
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,479
Speaker 1: get on my phone WM on the crappers. She pulls

993
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 1: had her phone and she's doing her business and doing

994
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: her on the phone. Yeah, and when she gets up,

995
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. Maybe she didn't get her

996
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 1: word all right, She's like, crap and drops her phone

997
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: into the crapper. So what would you do? What should

998
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 1: she do? Elizabeth? Well, then I asked someone, where's the

999
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 1: nearest A T and T I can buy an iPhone

1000
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 1: because I don't have a phone anymore. That's R I

1001
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: P phone right now. She took a different approach. She

1002
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: decided to take the toilet lid off. That way, she

1003
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,959
Speaker 1: could lie down on the porta potty toilet and reach

1004
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 1: further into the toilet, but she couldn't quite reach her phone.

1005
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: So she had a dog leash with her. She tied,

1006
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: I don't know where the dog was, but she had

1007
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 1: the dogs. Yeah, but that's what would that'd be a

1008
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: good idea? Actually maybe I don't know, maybe kind of

1009
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 1: being on the dog. She tied her dog leash off

1010
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 1: to the porta potty I assume like the door handle,

1011
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:57,839
Speaker 1: and then she held on tight to the dog leash,

1012
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 1: leans into the toilet, reach us as far, but she

1013
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 1: still can't quite the phone. It's there, her fingertips. It's

1014
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 1: just right, just a little further. What it's falls right, snapped, broke.

1015
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 1: I don't know the door handle snap something snap, Woman

1016
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 1: California one falls right into the toilet head first. Now

1017
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: she's stuck inside the toilet, there with the gallons of

1018
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:25,200
Speaker 1: human filth. Twenty minutes she's there trying to free herself,

1019
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,800
Speaker 1: and she realizes, you know what, I'm not gonna be

1020
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:31,439
Speaker 1: able to get myself out of this day. She has

1021
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: the phone. You know, God bless this phone. Apparently it

1022
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: still works. She's able to call someone. She calls nine. One,

1023
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: tells the operator, look, I'm stuck in to John. And

1024
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 1: she's like, excuse me, what, ma'am, I'm stuck in to John? Well,

1025
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 1: have you tried just knocking? No, I'm like in the

1026
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: toilet part, how is that? Okay? We're going to send help.

1027
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,800
Speaker 1: So they send out help to this crapper. Ladies in

1028
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: there for an hour. Rescue crews arrived from two different

1029
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: fire departments and trying to free just trying as hard

1030
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,959
Speaker 1: as they can. They hand her very as items, hoping

1031
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: that that she can put them underneath her and be

1032
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 1: able to stand out, spending her like I don't know,

1033
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 1: apple boxes or something from a Hollywood set, like stand

1034
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: on this, want you have something to stand on? She

1035
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 1: can reach up and apparently she's short because when she's

1036
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: five feet down but now standing on something, she's able

1037
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,040
Speaker 1: to reach up high enough that the firefighters are able

1038
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:20,920
Speaker 1: to reach down and grasp her hand and free or

1039
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 1: where they pull her out of the toilet like a

1040
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: second birthing experience. She gets hosed off and they give

1041
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: her a white tive ex suit to wear. Aunties quote

1042
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 1: strongly encouraged her to seek medical attention since she's been

1043
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 1: bathing in human waste. For God just set her so

1044
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 1: deeply embarrassed. The California California Woman's like which way is

1045
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 1: the state line and just tries to leave. So she

1046
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: goes she didn't go to the hospital, don't go anywhere

1047
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: but her car. I would be like, what's your strongest antimiotic?

1048
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: And I want to take him as pills and then

1049
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 1: I want you to coat my body in them. I

1050
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: will never have enough showers to gasoline showers wouldn't be enough.

1051
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 1: It can you take me to the chlorox factory just

1052
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 1: dunk a u oh goodness. So the water treatment the

1053
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: closest water treatment plant was like, ma'am, that ain't that

1054
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 1: stink ain't coming off the California woman. She thanked the

1055
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 1: responders and continued her journey back to her home state.

1056
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 1: And if you were wondering, just in case you were,

1057
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 1: the toilet was, as I said, more than five ft deep,

1058
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: and it held five gallons of human waste. Okay, so

1059
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: you already had me six over three gallons buckets. Now

1060
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 1: it's like and if you're wondering, you're like, wait, is

1061
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: what was her crime there? And I'm like, well, her

1062
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 1: crime was trespassing or maybe it was illegal dumping of herself.

1063
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't really know, but look, cops were called, which

1064
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 1: means technically maybe it wasn't a crime. She wasn't a criminal,

1065
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 1: but she was starting up ridiculous. Yeah, she's criminally so

1066
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 1: and I just got a text from my imaginary lawyer

1067
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: and she says that California woman was quote wrongfully imprisoned

1068
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: in herself in a toilet. So boom, yes, and we're good, Elizabeth.

1069
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 1: It's our ridiculous takeaway. My ridiculous takeaway is that two

1070
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 1: seems to be filled with a lot of poop two,

1071
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 1: y'all number two, Well, my ridiculous takeaway. And once again,

1072
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 1: thank you for asking, Elizabeth. Nobody asks sar Is. It

1073
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:19,959
Speaker 1: was a really crappy year. It was a lot of highs,

1074
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: a lot of loaves at the number one lot of

1075
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: number two. You can find us online a Ridiculous Crime

1076
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 1: on both Twitter and the Graham Twitters, where you know,

1077
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:31,320
Speaker 1: if it's still around us, where you can find us

1078
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: for some chit chatting. We'll put up some polls and

1079
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 1: then take them down and redo them. Yeah, fur them now.

1080
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 1: On Instagram we put the photos for each episode if

1081
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 1: you want to see what these people look like and

1082
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 1: the buckets of pooh, the stories are there. You get

1083
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 1: sneak peeks at the new epis on both and also

1084
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 1: you can email us Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com.

1085
00:59:54,560 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, Thanks for listening, m Ridiculous Crime. Is

1086
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 1: hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaron Burnett, produced and edited

1087
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: by the head of the Couston crime Family, Dave Custin,

1088
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: researches by Marissa Encyclopedia of Crime. Brown are themed songs

1089
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: by the Right Honorable Judge Thomas Lee and the Good

1090
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 1: Doctor of the Jam, Travis Dutton. Executive producers are Ben

1091
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 1: Let's Go Boland and No, Don't Call Me Charlie Brown

1092
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: were Disquiet Say It one more Time? We dequeous Crew.

1093
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeart Radio. Four more

1094
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: podcasts to my heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,

1095
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.