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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeky's podcast. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to give you advice on anything and everything you need

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Speaker 1: help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or having

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Speaker 1: issues with your family, or maybe you have a question

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Speaker 1: about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I want

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts in

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Speaker 1: my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious issue

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Speaker 1: or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at

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Speaker 1: the sound of the beeB.

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Speaker 2: Hi Cheeky's, I am calling in because I'd like to

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Speaker 2: get some advice from you. Me and my husband just

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Speaker 2: had our one year anniversary. We met through our company

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Speaker 2: that we had both worked for. We fell in love

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Speaker 2: pretty quickly. We got married fairly quickly. In total, we

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Speaker 2: have five kids. He has one son. I have four kids.

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Speaker 2: My kids are mostly older except for my baby girl.

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Speaker 2: He has accepted my kids. He's, you know, a really

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Speaker 2: good man. For you know, we all have our issues,

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Speaker 2: so I have mine, he has is. But you know,

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Speaker 2: for the most part, he is a very good man.

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Speaker 2: Treats me very well, you know, accepting my kids, all

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Speaker 2: of that. When I met him, he was a very

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Speaker 2: hard worker. However, about two months ago, he ended up

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Speaker 2: getting laid off from the company that we worked for.

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Speaker 2: I still work for them. After he got laid off,

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Speaker 2: I feel like he fell into a rut. He doesn't

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Speaker 2: seem to have any motivation to get a job. He

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Speaker 2: applies but doesn't really do follow up, you know, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: And I'm really trying to At first, I was really

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Speaker 2: trying to support him. I'm really starting to struggle now

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Speaker 2: financially obviously, and like trying to support him. I'm kind

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Speaker 2: of suffering mentally and emotionally myself, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: stay strong for him, and I just want to know

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Speaker 2: what you would do in my situation.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Hello, beautiful anonymous listener. Okay, so, man, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like he is definitely, maybe possibly depressed. It's only

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Speaker 1: been two months, but I'm sure those two months seem

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Speaker 1: like a year because you know, bills catch up and

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Speaker 1: it's just a lot. So I get it. I think

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Speaker 1: he needs some type of emotional help. I would probably

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Speaker 1: recommend for him to do some type of life coaching

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Speaker 1: or therapy. I think it's important to understand that, especially

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Speaker 1: if you guys met at this company and he got

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Speaker 1: laid off and you didn't, especially as a man, as

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Speaker 1: a provider, it's going to affect him in every way.

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Speaker 1: So I would just say, be patient, show him some grace.

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Speaker 1: If he doesn't have any motivation, be the motivation for him.

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Speaker 1: If he's a great guy and this is just a

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Speaker 1: little rough patch every relationship has it, then you guys

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Speaker 1: can work through it. And definitely he needs to talk

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Speaker 1: to someone. He's going through some type of I mean,

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Speaker 1: of course, I mean he lost his job and it's

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Speaker 1: a lot for a man, especially, so I would recommend

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Speaker 1: you maybe helping him talk to someone, some type of

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Speaker 1: counseling so he can work through his thoughts and you know,

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Speaker 1: become motivated again, because you definitely need the help. And

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Speaker 1: as women, we want to admire our men, So I

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Speaker 1: get what you're feeling. But just be a little bit

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Speaker 1: more patient, show him a little bit more grace. You know,

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Speaker 1: if it goes like this for a year, I would say,

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Speaker 1: then that's crazy. Even six months. I think in six

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Speaker 1: months he can find another job. I would probably put

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Speaker 1: some type of timeline and just in your head say Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to give it six months and then we

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Speaker 1: have to figure it out and revisit this. But talk

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Speaker 1: to him, show him love, show him support, be his

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Speaker 1: motivation if he doesn't have it right now, and speak

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Speaker 1: to him with love. I think what he needs is

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Speaker 1: just speak to the king and him and just say

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Speaker 1: you know, I still love you and it's okay. You

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Speaker 1: know I'll help you through this. But he also needs

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Speaker 1: to know, hey, we need the financial stability here. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a tough one because I can I feel for him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know this is probably very, very tough

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Speaker 1: on him. So that's my advice and I hope it helps,

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Speaker 1: and I hope he can find a job. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: pray for him. Sending good positive vibes to you guys.

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Speaker 1: All right, guys, next question comes from Gabby.

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Speaker 3: Hi, cheekys.

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Speaker 4: It's Gabby from Texas.

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Speaker 3: I recently got broken up with about two weeks ago,

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Speaker 3: and I'm out of our three year long relationship. I

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Speaker 3: thought it was pretty serious. We lived together for some time,

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Speaker 3: we went on vacations. There was some red flogs in

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Speaker 3: the beginning. He did talk to other women two times before,

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Speaker 3: and I, you know, like you believe in forgiveness, and

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Speaker 3: I looked past it. He wanted to leave. I also

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Speaker 3: believe in if you love somebody, let them free if

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Speaker 3: they want to be. And I talked to him a

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Speaker 3: few days after he broke up with me to get

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Speaker 3: some more answers, and it turned out that he had

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Speaker 3: been talking to this girl this whole time, and he

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Speaker 3: took her on a date three days after we broke up.

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Speaker 3: So obviously I was very hurt. I'm on the road

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Speaker 3: to healing. I have great family and friends, I have

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Speaker 3: things to look forward to. I'm getting my PhD in May.

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Speaker 3: But my question is, how do I not let this

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Speaker 3: dampen the way I see men when I am fully

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Speaker 3: healed and ready to date. I think that's kind of

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Speaker 3: what I'm scared of. Yeah, but I'm a big fan

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Speaker 3: of you and your podcast and your family and everybody,

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Speaker 3: and so i'd really like to get some advice.

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Speaker 1: Thanks by Oh Gappie, thank you so much. Congratulations on

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Speaker 1: getting your PhD very soon. That is amazing, that's freaking exciting. Well, look,

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Speaker 1: I think what I did in the past, I ignored

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Speaker 1: a lot of red flags, and I think you ignored

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Speaker 1: these red flags. I think, yes, okay, if they do

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Speaker 1: it one time and it's not too crazy and they're

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Speaker 1: honest and like you know, I do believe in forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: Then after that, if it continues to happen, I just

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Speaker 1: personally wouldn't be okay with it a second time. And

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Speaker 1: I think those are red flags that moving forward you

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Speaker 1: should not ignore. I think people show their ass if

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Speaker 1: you are open to seeing it, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, of course, there's always going to be that

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Speaker 1: fear and that thought in the back of your head

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Speaker 1: like oh my gosh, like if this is this going

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Speaker 1: to happen again, And as hard as it is, you

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Speaker 1: just have to shake it off. And you can't see

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Speaker 1: every man like him because not every man is the same.

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Speaker 1: And you're healing, and I think you just need to

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Speaker 1: embrace that healing right now and focus on yourself and

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Speaker 1: focus on this amazing thing that you're about to accomplish,

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Speaker 1: which is freaking phenomenal. I'm so happy for you and

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Speaker 1: just happy that you're going to find the right person,

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Speaker 1: and just know, if there's red flags from the very beginning,

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Speaker 1: you can't just think, oh, I'm going to change this person,

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Speaker 1: like I made that mistake and it does not work.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, and they will show you their effort. I mean,

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Speaker 1: when someone's all in, especially a man, they're going to

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Speaker 1: show you from the very beginning. They are not going

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Speaker 1: to ignore Texas and they're not gonna ghost and they're

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Speaker 1: not Like when a man is ready, you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: able to feel it. So you just have to have

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Speaker 1: faith that you're going to find that man. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: feel it and not be scared. If you are scared,

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Speaker 1: do it scared, because the only way you're gonna find

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Speaker 1: out is if you step into it, not step away

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Speaker 1: from it. So just lean into it and you're working

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Speaker 1: on yourself and you're doing exactly that and just become

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Speaker 1: the person that you want to become, but also the

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Speaker 1: person that you would like to attract. So I get it.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, But not every guy is the same. Not

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Speaker 1: every guy trusts me on that one too, So trust

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Speaker 1: me a lot in that one. Anyways, Gabby, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for your question, and I hope it all

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Speaker 1: works out.

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Speaker 2: Girl.

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Speaker 1: Okay, another anonymous listener, let's see.

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Speaker 5: Hi Cheeky's I just can't cross your podcast and I've

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Speaker 5: been listening to your sister, like your whole family. Ever

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Speaker 5: since I was really young, and I'm currently about to

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Speaker 5: hit a one and a half mark in my relationship,

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Speaker 5: and my mom does not like my boyfriend. She stopped

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Speaker 5: liking him because I told her that he was pressuring

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Speaker 5: me to do stuff, which was not true and it

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Speaker 5: was I just told her that more just because I

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Speaker 5: wanted her to let him go because we had broke

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Speaker 5: up and I wanted her to like the guy that

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Speaker 5: I was with, and so I told her that he

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Speaker 5: was pressuring me to do stuff and that was obviously

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Speaker 5: fake and it wasn't true. And I have it stuck

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Speaker 5: in my mind that I need to tell her that

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Speaker 5: that was fake because I am back with back with

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Speaker 5: him and we're about to hit a year and a half.

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Speaker 5: But I just need to know. How can I tell

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Speaker 5: my mom? Obviously I shouldn't have lied, but I did,

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Speaker 5: and I just need some help.

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Speaker 1: Girl. Yeah, Lyne, don't get us nowhere trusting, So I

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Speaker 1: get it. I understand. Okay, you just got to rip

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Speaker 1: off the band aid. Then you just gotta go and

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Speaker 1: tell your mom. Mom, I have something to tell you.

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Speaker 1: Please try not to get upset, but I lied and

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Speaker 1: that's it. Like you just got to own up to it,

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Speaker 1: and there will be consequences and it will be a

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Speaker 1: little hard for her to trust you moving forward, but

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Speaker 1: you could tell her I'm going to show you that

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Speaker 1: you can trust me. I understand, and just know if

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Speaker 1: you are going to say something, she might yell. She

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Speaker 1: might want to just pull your hair a little. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how your mom would react, but I think

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Speaker 1: when you come to people and you instead of people

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Speaker 1: finding out on their own, it's always best to come

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Speaker 1: and just fess up to it. And I think she'll

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Speaker 1: appreciate and respect that. So you need to do this

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Speaker 1: soon so she doesn't find out that you're dating this

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Speaker 1: guy a whole year and a half later. She's gonna

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Speaker 1: be like, what the heck You've been lying this whole time.

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Speaker 1: So it's gonna be a little difficult. You have to

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Speaker 1: understand that. Okay, you have to understand that, baby, because

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Speaker 1: then you know she's gonna feel like, you know, you're

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Speaker 1: looking at me like I'm dumb. So just rip off

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Speaker 1: the band aid.

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Speaker 2: Just do it.

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Speaker 1: That's it. What's the worst that can happen. She's gonna

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Speaker 1: get mad, and that's all right. You can't blame her

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Speaker 1: for being upset, but you gotta tell her soon because

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Speaker 1: a year and a half. Oh my goodness, So you

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Speaker 1: gotta hurry up, girl, So get on it and let

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Speaker 1: me know what happens. Okay, all right, So our last

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Speaker 1: question comes from YESI They said this is a question

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Speaker 1: in Spanish, and it's also a bit of an adult question.

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Speaker 4: So yes, the relation. Yeah, most pork smooth y, no

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Speaker 4: listo smooth mu torpe and toss as momentous conclude parts more.

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Speaker 4: One a persona no se sen really that amal and

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Speaker 4: aljarmed coms. One a persona pero in connector was the

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Speaker 4: corindo carriers to millware, the kerasna persona para parapo is

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Speaker 4: the starban emotional mente pero sars sexual mante no one

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Speaker 4: around acuero, the cales thedo no parapot tarcos connel lad

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Speaker 4: lossto and toes conce for our grassy seas.

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Speaker 1: The loco an English. Okay, So okay, guys, So for

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Speaker 1: those of you that don't understand Spanish, yes, he is

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Speaker 1: telling me that she's been in an eight year relationship

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Speaker 1: with a man that's younger than her. She's forty two

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Speaker 1: and this man is thirty eight, and in these past

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Speaker 1: eight years it seems like they haven't been able to

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Speaker 1: be intimate because he has a small penis and he

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Speaker 1: isn't secure, and he doesn't feel comfortable and also doesn't

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Speaker 1: and is not really open to exploring other things the

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Speaker 1: way yes he is. So she's just kind of running

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Speaker 1: out of patients and is asking what she should do

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Speaker 1: and what I would do. So this is a toughie.

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Speaker 1: So let me answer her and then I'll get back

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Speaker 1: to you guys in English, Okay, ma, YESI tent tiendo

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Speaker 1: especial lookuez buena persona. Yose MOI fi m see sex

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Speaker 1: so in temida is definitely yes ante aikinarcosas and I

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Speaker 1: much as are see huge comrado perot vito stam can

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Speaker 1: do completamente perom com to tennis to necessidades jota c

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Speaker 1: j alaaell miras toy alas ultimus the kiro persona pero

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Speaker 1: jones sito in timid in no pre penetracion pero tambien

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Speaker 1: I guess lahita no cl nosta this posto to tennis

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Speaker 1: maii yes movie l s tam Serrado to the last

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Speaker 1: tes not in Porta, the Chio superte pero tsa erto

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Speaker 1: celio supart no was I would walk away. So, guys,

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Speaker 1: I told Jesse that, you know, sex is very important

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Speaker 1: in every relationship. You know, it definitely is. It's a

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Speaker 1: huge part of making a relationship work. And you know,

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Speaker 1: she asked me what I would do if I was

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Speaker 1: in her position, and to be honest, I'd have another

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Speaker 1: conversation with him and tell him, hey, I'm at like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the wis end of my rope, and I

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Speaker 1: love you and you're a great person. You have great qualities.

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Speaker 1: But I'm a woman and I have my necessities, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I want to be touched and I want to

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Speaker 1: be pleasured and vice versa. You know, I think that's

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Speaker 1: just normal. And I told her, I mean, I would

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Speaker 1: have that conversation and we can do other things oral, sex,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. But if he's not open to that, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be very, very difficult. So I told her,

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Speaker 1: have one last conversation and if he's not open to it,

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Speaker 1: then you need to make the decision. And if I

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Speaker 1: were you, I probably would have to walk away from

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Speaker 1: the relationship because then cheating happens. You know, it's a

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Speaker 1: huge part of a relationship, and especially if he's not

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Speaker 1: open to step outside of the box. And that's freaking hard.

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Speaker 1: So small penis or not small penis. You know, you

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Speaker 1: got fingers, you got a tongue, you got toys. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot that you could do. So that's what I

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Speaker 1: told Jesse and that's my advice. So I hope it

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Speaker 1: helps to my wonderful anonymous listeners and Gabby and Jessie.

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Speaker 1: I wish you guys the best. And again, you guys

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Speaker 1: know you guys can always come back here on Dear

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Speaker 1: Cheeky's leave me a voice done and update me. I

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Speaker 1: love to hear updates. And if you took my advice

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Speaker 1: or not, I love hearing that too. And if you

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Speaker 1: have a question, could you about anything love, life, finances, business, friendships,

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Speaker 1: my personal life. Leave your question at speakpipe dot com.

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Speaker 1: Slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. This is a production of

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and the Microldura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram

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Speaker 1: at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c

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Speaker 1: h I q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart,

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Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen

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Speaker 1: to your favorite podcast