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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. This podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. It should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These You need help, you're the problems.

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Speaker 3: Come on, come down.

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Speaker 4: Go leamb.

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Speaker 5: Take a pill. I think you're insane.

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Speaker 2: Do what I say, dumb ass, listen to me.

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Speaker 4: You this is strength is but I don't think so.

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Speaker 5: You know what I think it should be called?

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Speaker 4: Nick.

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Speaker 3: You can ask me what it should be called.

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Speaker 5: Even uglier on Zoo if you didn't think you had

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Speaker 5: to suck your own bit before, we're gonna be sucking.

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Speaker 2: Our own Dixon out because no one's gonna want us

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Speaker 2: after this ugly taping of shrink this.

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Speaker 3: That's right. My light's pretty good. I feel like your mine.

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Speaker 2: I am fortunately live in a house with a lot

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Speaker 2: of sunlight, and like it's like it's like, why bother,

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Speaker 2: It's ridiculous.

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Speaker 5: I don't care, though, you know why. I'm no attachments

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Speaker 5: to my looks.

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Speaker 2: Like whatever, what are you gonna do, I'll suck my

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Speaker 2: dick all by my say, welcome to shrink this podcast.

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Speaker 2: That's saying a you farewell goodbye for two weeks because

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Speaker 2: we deserve a damn break too for the holiday happy

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Speaker 2: holic hunts. Yeah, I'm celebrating them all, especially Hanukkah this

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Speaker 2: year because all my friends except nicker Jews, and they

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Speaker 2: deserve a little special love this time of year. You

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Speaker 2: know who doesn't deserve any love? You can find her

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Speaker 2: at at Celia Underscore Underscore Romano.

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Speaker 5: Celia Romano, say Celia.

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Speaker 2: Celia promise speak when spoken to, but clearly she doesn't

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Speaker 2: mind cutting off. She the speak when spoken to might

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Speaker 2: apply to maybe after I finish my sentence, you dumb horror.

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Speaker 4: Happy holidays.

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Speaker 3: How is the Lord Concert, you dumb bitch.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we see that.

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Speaker 2: Celia looks a little tired, although she looks cute to me,

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Speaker 2: but Nick's super critical of only when I know you're

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Speaker 2: welcome you.

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Speaker 5: We didn't have to dru up me for that. Thanks.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like I'll point to you if I want

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Speaker 2: to hear something. Okay, let's try it. So how is

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Speaker 2: the Lord concert?

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Speaker 5: Point? It was really fun on point means that's it.

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Speaker 5: That's it, that's what you get.

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Speaker 2: You get up, you don't talk at all, you don't

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Speaker 2: talk at all. You have fucking weirdo. All right, so listen. Sorry,

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Speaker 2: this is unhinged, and I'll tell you why. Because the

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Speaker 2: holidays are coming. It's a very stressful time for people.

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Speaker 2: People feel like they have to force togetherness and force

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Speaker 2: merriment and force cheer. And I'm here to tell you

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Speaker 2: you do not. You get to be exactly what you

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Speaker 2: want to be at this time of year, whether it's

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Speaker 2: the gal or guy who stays home.

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Speaker 4: It's just it's cozy season.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna get my hot chocolate and oh my god,

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Speaker 2: sometimes I frighten.

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Speaker 5: I just forget to eat because I'm so cozy.

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Speaker 2: Or you could be the party gal Mike Celia running

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Speaker 2: around to the Lord, going around to the different variable

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Speaker 2: New Orleans haunts where she gets down plowed and that's

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Speaker 2: the holiday chair right in the old anis. And you know,

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Speaker 2: don't force the holidays.

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Speaker 5: Be who you are. I'd like to think of the

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Speaker 5: holidays as Nick's penis in some man's buttole. You can't

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Speaker 5: force it. You just gotta let it flow, am I Right?

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Speaker 2: Nick been there had virtual fist bump, get to do

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Speaker 2: it too, so she picks that one minute. Look at this,

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Speaker 2: she can't even fist correctly, speaking of fisting correctly.

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Speaker 5: Where could our listeners find you?

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Speaker 3: Nick Yo? You know what it is, baby, Nick Scops

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Speaker 3: from home.

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Speaker 6: You could follow me at Nick Scops on Instagram, at TikTok.

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Speaker 6: You can catch me on blackout Wednesdays with Celia and Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, fucking at Jazz.

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Speaker 6: Bo Pete's Crawl, Daddy Disco Tick wherever the fuck you, Dick.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how I'm old out of that.

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Speaker 5: I don't think you can find me anywhere, and I

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Speaker 5: don't care.

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Speaker 4: All right there, I said it.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be taking a two week hiatus, and that's

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Speaker 2: why we're taping from home, by the way, because we're

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Speaker 2: like half in, half out. I was like, we could

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Speaker 2: tape something just to say goodbye to our fans for

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Speaker 2: two weeks. But I'm not coming in there and giving

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Speaker 2: it my all. I'm just gonna give it what I can,

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Speaker 2: which is how we think of the holidays. Nick, How

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Speaker 2: are you approaching this holiday and how do you think

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Speaker 2: people who listened to us should approach them.

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Speaker 6: I think all of you listeners out there should get

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Speaker 6: a fucking life, okay and leave us alone. No, I'm

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Speaker 6: just kidding, just like Celia. No, it's not as fun

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Speaker 6: making fun as Celia virtually as it is in person.

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Speaker 5: But let's just leave her out of it.

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Speaker 6: Why don't. Yeah, let's blur her. Although that reaction was good,

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Speaker 6: No for the holidays. I mean, I'm actually in like

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Speaker 6: good spirits. This year someone invites me over for a

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Speaker 6: secret Santa White Elephant bullshit or whatever, and I always

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Speaker 6: say yes because I'm like, oh, I have time.

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Speaker 3: I didn't admit to anything this year.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and we're gonna and we're gonna decide in the moment.

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Speaker 6: At Christmas Day, I'll see my dad, we go get

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Speaker 6: Chinese food.

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Speaker 3: That's it. But then I go home. He was like,

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Speaker 3: you want to see a movie? After I was like no.

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Speaker 3: So it's I think I think not over committing. Now.

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Speaker 6: I know people, I'm in a unique situation where everyone

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Speaker 6: in my family's dead or I don't.

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Speaker 3: Want to talk to them, so it just is what

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Speaker 3: it is.

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Speaker 6: So I have this luxury, but it's been I'm so

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Speaker 6: much happier going into the holidays knowing I don't have to, oh,

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Speaker 6: go to this person's house and do this, and there's

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Speaker 6: this party in that. I just right, I'm gonna decide

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Speaker 6: what i want to do in the moment. If I'm

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Speaker 6: feeling up for it, I'm gonna do it. If not,

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna chill. So I wouldest our listeners do the same

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Speaker 6: thing if you have the luxury.

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Speaker 2: This is what makes me happy. I see an evolution

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Speaker 2: in you. I know you many years, probably four or

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Speaker 2: five years right.

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Speaker 5: Now, is it about that long?

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Speaker 2: Five?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Five, You've really evolved a lot. And I joke on

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Speaker 5: you a lot.

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Speaker 2: I goof on you and say how you're just a dumb,

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Speaker 2: dirty Italian wop off the boat douchebag who doesn't watch

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Speaker 2: anything but the Sopranos and has nothing real going for him.

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Speaker 5: But other than those things which are true, you have

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Speaker 5: grown a lot. And I think, believe it or not,

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Speaker 5: we're never too old to grow.

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Speaker 2: As they say in the story of Buddy the Elf

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Speaker 2: and the Broadway musical, they say in never to like

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Speaker 2: to grow, it's like to grow. That's the story of

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Speaker 2: Buddy the Elf.

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Speaker 5: Bits. I'm the reason I sing this to you.

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Speaker 2: Now, yeah, is because it just occurred to me, and

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Speaker 2: I just sang it.

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Speaker 5: And that is what the Holidays should be about. If

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Speaker 5: it comes up.

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Speaker 2: From within you and it occurs to you, Hey, let

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Speaker 2: me go visit so and so, let me go see

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Speaker 2: this show. Let me go take this child to I

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Speaker 2: don't know, an auction.

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Speaker 5: Of some sort.

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Speaker 4: Let me take it.

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Speaker 2: Let me take a child to see it. Christmas tree lighting.

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Speaker 2: It has to occur to you, and it has to

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Speaker 2: come from within. The forces of outside make us feel

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Speaker 2: like we have to commit to too much. Then we

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Speaker 2: resent everything and enjoy nothing. So Nicholas, as they call you,

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Speaker 2: I would say, you have grown to not feel like

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Speaker 2: you have to force it like a dick into one's ass.

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Speaker 3: That's right. We've all been there and it hurts it.

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Speaker 5: Does you know it does smell like you're gay?

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Speaker 4: I think that's also you.

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Speaker 5: Are you joking?

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Speaker 2: Maybe you're telling the truth that you're lucky enuf to

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Speaker 2: your family's dead, But what would one I'm gonna ask

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Speaker 2: Celia this because we haven't let her talk, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to point to her for a limited time and

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Speaker 2: hear's some wisdom from someone whose family isn't one hundred

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Speaker 2: percent together, isn't none of us have a family that's

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Speaker 2: really all together, but a family that's a little old,

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Speaker 2: you know, divided, et cetera, could be Uh, we all

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Speaker 2: are annoyed by certain people in our family. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: how do you suggest people juggle this family situation for

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Speaker 2: optimmental health?

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Speaker 5: Because that is what is important and go.

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Speaker 7: You have to really prioritize yourself and what you want

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Speaker 7: to spend time on, or time who you want to

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Speaker 7: spend time with, rather than feeling guilted by people.

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Speaker 2: I had this fantasy of like, I want to take

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Speaker 2: this has been a fantasy I've had for years. I

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Speaker 2: just want to take like a week and just be

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Speaker 2: by myself and see what that's like and see what

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Speaker 2: feelings come up. And I never really had the guts

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Speaker 2: to do it. But this year I said, I've been

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Speaker 2: working on my you know, the spiritual stuff, the emotional

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Speaker 2: stuff for like over a year, and I'm like, let's

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Speaker 2: see if I write in my calendar December twenty sixth

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Speaker 2: through January second, take the whole time at home. Let

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Speaker 2: me see how it feels. What's the worst that could happen,

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Speaker 2: What feelings could possibly come up that I won't be

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Speaker 2: able to handle.

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Speaker 5: Let's see.

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Speaker 2: But that having a fantasy and never fulfilling it. It's

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Speaker 2: just like I'll be eighty years old someday and wondering

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Speaker 2: why did I never have.

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Speaker 5: The guts to just settle in at home and see

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Speaker 5: what that's like.

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Speaker 2: This doesn't mean I'm like have to tie myself in

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Speaker 2: the house and lock myself in and not go to.

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Speaker 5: Dinner or whatever if it should to rise.

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Speaker 2: But like if you ever thought to yourself, I want

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Speaker 2: to take the time to just be who I am

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Speaker 2: and see what occurs to me to do from day

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Speaker 2: to day.

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Speaker 5: Do it now.

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Speaker 2: And when you said something about guilt, I often say

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Speaker 2: when you said, oh, don't be guilted by people wanting

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Speaker 2: you to spend.

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Speaker 5: Time with them.

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Speaker 2: Guilt is for people who've done something wrong. If it's

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Speaker 2: wrong to take care of yourself mentally, if it's wrong

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Speaker 2: to not see problematic family members, if it's wrong to

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Speaker 2: not run ragged and then come back to work even

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Speaker 2: worse than you were before, nothing wrong with any of that.

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Speaker 2: So the guilt has to be something you internally work

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Speaker 2: on and get rid of. Because we have nothing to

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Speaker 2: feel guilty about. I mean, I like that you got

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Speaker 2: you to your father you do that Jewish tradition of

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Speaker 2: Chinese food on Christmas and don't care that you're not

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Speaker 2: even Jews.

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Speaker 3: Right, you go for it.

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Speaker 2: You don't even do the movie after at least the

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Speaker 2: Jews are generous enough to do that.

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Speaker 5: You're you're a real Jew.

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Speaker 3: That's right. I get five five dinner and I go,

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Speaker 3: you're paying this time? That's it? And then I go,

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Speaker 3: I go bye, love you. That's it.

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Speaker 2: Well, how do you feel about Christmas music? Because I

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Speaker 2: was a little upset with I. Okay, So I think

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Speaker 2: I've said on the podcast before, I don't listen to

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Speaker 2: a lot of music. I'm just starting to again because

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Speaker 2: every song with words seems to have some memory for me,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, uh, I don't want to get.

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Speaker 5: Emotional all the time. So I usually listen to this channel.

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Speaker 2: I'm serious, that is all forties music because it doesn't

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Speaker 2: have any emotion attached to it because I wasn't born yet,

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Speaker 2: so how would I know. So what happens is the

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Speaker 2: day after Thanksgiving, my fricking forties channel, I turn it

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Speaker 2: on to get a little you know, Uh, you're the top,

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Speaker 2: you are the Colossie. I'm you know, I'm looking Forard.

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Speaker 5: To call porter and instead I hear of yourself a

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Speaker 5: rapy little Chris what the day after Thanksgiving? I don't

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Speaker 5: like it.

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Speaker 2: I felt it was forced upon me, so I had

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Speaker 2: nothing to listen to. I what is it we're taping

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Speaker 2: this December eighteenth. I am finally. Yesterday was the first

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Speaker 2: day I listened to one Christmas song. It was in

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Speaker 2: my mind, let it snow bing Crosby. Sure he was

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Speaker 2: abusive to his children, but that's never been considered a

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Speaker 2: bad thing, right, And I was like, let me listen

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Speaker 2: to that, and I finally eased into it. So what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying is this Christmas music.

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Speaker 5: All this is forced, forced, forced.

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Speaker 2: If you feel it at all, like it's forced in,

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Speaker 2: don't do it?

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Speaker 5: Are you a Christmas music guy? Have you started that

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Speaker 5: yet this year?

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Speaker 3: I never was.

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Speaker 6: There were a handful of certain songs like I'll tell

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Speaker 6: you Merry Christmas, buy and sync Woo.

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Speaker 5: Do you like the modern stuff?

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Speaker 6: I get that, yeah, Mammy Chrismuth and heavy Eh, it's

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Speaker 6: the fucking shit, dude.

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Speaker 5: I know it is.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, if that that, if anyone has any bad feeling

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Speaker 2: to their death song, like you're an idiot.

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Speaker 6: Y's that I like Last Christmas Bye by Wham I Do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that gets to me a little because it has

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Speaker 2: see that has eighties memories for me of heartbreak and

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Speaker 2: when I still believed in love and that there was

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Speaker 2: hope in the world and there's not.

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Speaker 5: So it's like, yeah, so you know, I understand that.

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Speaker 6: I do also love that music video because it's just

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Speaker 6: George Michael pretending to be interested.

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Speaker 3: In a woman and like pretending not to be gay.

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Speaker 3: It's the funniest video, so you can relate to it exactly.

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Speaker 6: Yes, she smells like you're gay shrinkshop dot com.

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Speaker 5: Ah No, but it is. It's weird. How if it

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Speaker 5: all feels.

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Speaker 2: Like it's not right, you don't have to do it,

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Speaker 2: you know, like this whole thing of like I have

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Speaker 2: a friend, poor thing.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: She told me that every year her entire family, like

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Speaker 2: seven relatives stay at her house for five days live. Yes, now,

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Speaker 2: I have never before heard such a good argument for

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Speaker 2: living in a small house.

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Speaker 5: It is.

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Speaker 2: And again she loves them, she has no problem with them.

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Speaker 2: But the zero alone time and the zero chance to

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Speaker 2: have a down time and to factor in what you

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Speaker 2: need that just would not work for her the house

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Speaker 2: is not a hotel, and how poor are people that

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Speaker 2: they can't just stay in a hotel?

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Speaker 5: That's my feeling. Don't be so poor? Stop being poor.

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Speaker 5: I think that's the lesson of the holidays, don't you.

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Speaker 3: I stop being.

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Speaker 2: Poor, and don't be friends with Nick because I'll tell

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Speaker 2: you why.

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Speaker 5: There's a song. Have you heard this Christmas song? Where

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Speaker 5: they go? It's an old one. I think it might

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Speaker 5: be bing Crosby. Also, it's the holiday season?

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Speaker 3: A hoop?

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Speaker 7: Do you?

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Speaker 2: I dick grey duck? And don't forget to hang up

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Speaker 2: your sock? So every time I hear it, what do

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Speaker 2: you think?

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Speaker 5: I think? And don't forget to suck a.

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Speaker 3: Big dock cock.

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Speaker 2: It's like all I hear is don't forget to suck

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Speaker 2: on your cock, get at it and you ruined Christmas?

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Speaker 5: But in a good way?

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Speaker 7: Is that?

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Speaker 2: Dude?

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Speaker 3: That's how I feel? The in sing song, I add

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Speaker 3: lib so many things.

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Speaker 2: I love it, Merry Christmas because I'm fucking gay?

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Speaker 5: What's wrong with us? Celia?

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Speaker 2: Do you have feelings towards this, this this forced merriment

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Speaker 2: of Christmas and songs?

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Speaker 7: I love Christmas music.

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Speaker 2: No, no, it's great, But do you think it's ever

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Speaker 2: forced upon you, like a prison rate.

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Speaker 7: I think that all I want for Christmas is you

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Speaker 7: is forced upon us. Yeah, like insanely.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I love like Wonderful Christmas Time I Paul McCartney, I

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Speaker 7: like it too. Yeah, I love that song. I also

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Speaker 7: like Last Christmas and I really like the old stuff

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Speaker 7: like being Crosby. I like Frank Sinatra's jingle Bells.

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Speaker 5: Yes, this is my favorite.

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Speaker 2: There's two songs that came out Christmas songs that came

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Speaker 2: out in the eighties that I love but like I

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Speaker 2: cannot listen to. And one is the one that band

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Speaker 2: aid one where.

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Speaker 7: It's like do you know it's Christmas?

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Speaker 2: Because I was working at Rolling Stone at the time

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Speaker 2: in the eighties and when that came out, and like,

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Speaker 2: it just is too I'm not saying it's a bad memory,

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Speaker 2: but it's too nostalgic for me because I lived through

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Speaker 2: that recording and I was like, whenever I hear it,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I should be listening for the African people,

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Speaker 2: but it almost makes me just too much wish for

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Speaker 2: that time of my life. So I'm like, well, not

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Speaker 2: not yet this year. And I think sometimes that's the

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Speaker 2: whole feeling that we should have maybe not yet it's

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Speaker 2: not like, oh, I'll never listen to it again. Hearing

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Speaker 2: Bob Geldorf for Spandau Ballet singing that DoD and Africa's

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Speaker 2: Christmas do Wow the greatest.

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Speaker 4: This is love.

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Speaker 2: But I mean that maybe okay next year. What I

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Speaker 2: did was never okay by the way that singing. But

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Speaker 2: that might be all right next year, but it's not

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Speaker 2: okay this year, and that's all right. And there was

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Speaker 2: another Eighties Christmas song.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: They're all so like just they were a little oh,

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Speaker 5: I know the Pogues, that one where he goes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah dadday ya La da da.

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Speaker 5: The streets of New York City. You know that one.

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Speaker 2: It's about this drunk and his girlfriend fighting on Christmas

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Speaker 2: by that Irish donkey band, the Pogues, who were just

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Speaker 2: a bunch of Irish drunks, and it it's so like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I remember fighting on the street with

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Speaker 2: an Irish drunk at the time.

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Speaker 5: Do I have to relive this every year?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 2: So what I'm saying, folks in a roundabout, but yet

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Speaker 2: literal way is just just do what you can handle.

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Speaker 2: If you put a toe in if you listen to

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00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 2: three notes of it and you're already sobbing, or you're

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Speaker 2: plunged into depression and nostalgia that you can't handle, just.

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Speaker 5: Stop it and listen to the forties junction. You know

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Speaker 5: what I'm saying.

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00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 2: Listen to a disco inferno, Listen to Shrink This old

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00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 2: episodes and go that doesn't make me cry, It doesn't

377
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 2: even make me laugh or feel anything.

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Speaker 5: And that's what we're here for.

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Speaker 6: For you, aren't we, Nick, We're here to make you

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Speaker 6: wet that.

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Speaker 5: No sense, So listen, listen.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna take two weeks off because even we deserve

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00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 2: some time to ourselves, to feel things, to eat Chinese food,

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Speaker 2: to not do much, to not drive Celia crazy over

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Speaker 2: her little break that she contractually has. And we will

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Speaker 2: be premiering season two of Shrink This back by unpopular demand?

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Speaker 5: Who asked for it? No One? On January?

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Speaker 4: What is it? Celia?

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00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 5: January? What you typed It?

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Speaker 2: Tuesday, January thirteenth. It's going to be the episode no

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Speaker 2: one asks for and nobody wants. We're coming back with

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Speaker 2: the did we Fix Celia episode? We will revisit Celia's

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Speaker 2: troubles and woes.

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Speaker 5: That we examined in season.

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Speaker 2: One, and we will end a crippling silence about did

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Speaker 2: our intervention work?

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Speaker 4: Tune it in.

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Speaker 5: Third date and comment below. I actually don't comment below

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Speaker 5: because there's nothing to comment about.

400
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Speaker 3: We don't care.

401
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 2: I turn off comments. I don't want to hear oh, oh,

402
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 2: what do you think you're funny?

403
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 3: Oh?

404
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 4: You look old?

405
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 7: You know?

406
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 5: And those are all directed a Nick.

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Speaker 2: Oh sad so parting words Celia to our delightful audience for.

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Speaker 7: Two weeks, Listen to shrink This on your iHeartRadio app

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00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 7: or wherever you get your podcasts. Email us at shrink

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Speaker 7: This Show gmail dot com and have a good holiday.

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Speaker 2: Great she like, did gave you a little gift Nick

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Speaker 2: by making you not say it?

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Speaker 3: That's right? So I'm just gonna sing it. You're gonna

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Speaker 3: wand up a feeling and the second dick and lick

415
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Speaker 3: your balls.

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Speaker 4: On the ceiling.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, see that's what you do.

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00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go, uh beat up an irishman in

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Speaker 2: the street in New York.

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Speaker 3: As you should.

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Speaker 5: I think that'll be nice. We'll see you on January thirteenth, whether.

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Speaker 4: You like it or not.

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Speaker 2: See at Queer's Homers