WEBVTT - Moving in with Your Significant Other 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:09.440 Then this is your girl from Exactly a Mana, a 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:16.040 production of My Heart Radio, and today's topic is building 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:21.680 a life with your significant other before marriage? Okay, um, 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.600 how does that work? Going on? Basically, what is it 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:27.480 that you're supposed to know about your significant other before 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.400 you guys moving like or don't even just move in, 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:33.160 but before you guys decide to get married? What steps 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:35.440 should you take? What you do you know? What are 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.360 the habits? Do you not live together? Should you live together? 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:41.239 Who pays the bills? Who doesn't pay the bills? Who? Man? 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:44.760 Who do you like buying new furniture, leaving the furniture? 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:46.519 Do you move into her house or do you move 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:50.839 into his house? Like? Who splits? What? All those details 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:53.520 that that's what we want to know today. Stevie. First 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:56.840 of all, Stevie my amazing co host. Okay, I love 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:59.480 him so much because he always keeps it real and 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:03.120 he says exactly on his mind. And I now he's 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:06.200 lived in the past through some of this bullshit, so 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.880 very great. Thank you for asking. I do put the 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:16.399 exactly in Exactly a Mada. Now what do you do 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:20.119 before marriage? Um? So I have a very interesting story 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.520 that we will get into definitely. Um, I was taught 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:27.760 that you shouldn't live together before marriage, but I do 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:30.680 find that there are some roads when it comes to that, 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.960 because like when you find out that he definitely doesn't 0:01:34.000 --> 0:01:36.959 put the seat down in the toilet, Um, he definitely 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:41.080 does his underwear everywhere, or she leaves her banties everywhere 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:47.240 or absolutely so there is a lot. I did you 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:50.000 know I am married? For those that don't know, surprise, surprise, 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.640 I am married. And before marriage, um I was. We 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.800 met in church, so it's interesting we couldn't shock and 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.920 live together before marriage and we kind of sacrifice that shocking. 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:03.720 One would say it was because I wasn't attracted to 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:05.360 a woman. That's why it was easy for me. That's 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:12.400 so Um, it's absolutely positive. It was a great thing 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:14.600 for me. I got blessed when I got married. But 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:17.639 we will get more into that topic. Let's go right. 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:25.240 We always some interesting topics and look, I'm not even 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:26.600 telling you too much, but I'm gonna give a little 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:28.640 teaser and then I'm gonna break it down because I've 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.040 been there. Like part of the conversations that we want 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.360 to know today is who moves in first? Do you 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.240 move into his house. Do you move into her house? 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.160 How does this work? All I'm gonna say is, ladies, 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.440 listen to me and let me be your friend and 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:42.440 let me give you a tip. Okay, if you like 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.800 a guy and you know you guys are thinking of 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:50.400 moving forward in your relationship or whatever, unless he tells you, baby, 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:54.520 I want you to move in with me. Stop being 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.519 that girl that takes a little lugge and the headica. 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.920 You left the truth brush and the headicake, and you 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.200 left a pair of you without him asking you to 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.720 do that because or pampang, get the funk up out 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.320 of my house. And don't say where you're gonna be stuck, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:12.760 and don't say, as a lady, been there, done that nobody. 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:14.400 If you guys, if you want to move in, we 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:18.160 can buy something together. We can rent a department a K. 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.000 I personally am not in renting spaces anymore. We're gonna buy, 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.520 We're gonna save, and we're gonna buy, even if it's 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.440 a little tiny as department any We're gonna buy something 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:31.359 together and we're gonna moving together. But also think don't 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:37.000 need to get my little log into my little mille. 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:40.040 I think we're not doing that you move in with me. Anyways, 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:45.560 let's get to it. So one of those some of 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.120 the size that your significant other is taking over your 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:54.640 living space, Buena, I think it starts with um when 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:58.240 you don't take your ass home. I know, listen, I 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:00.600 know that if you like some and you may want 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:02.480 to sleep over, that's cool. But I think it has 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.800 to be a mutual agreement. It has to be a like, oh, baby, 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:08.480 you know that. Listen. If you want, if you want, 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.520 you can have if you want. If you want, I 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.360 can stay over tonight, you know, or if you want, baby, 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.360 you can stay over, you know, at my place. And 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:19.520 if you want, don't be staying over your man's house 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:21.640 unless he asked you to, because out of courtesy, he's 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:23.600 gonna tell you to stay, but he may not even 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:26.120 want you to stay. And I think that that's how 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:29.960 it starts. The invasion of privacy. Uh the I'm just 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.800 gonna leave one luggage here, I'm just liveing Burtko here. 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.120 Next thing, you know, you moved in your whole apartment, 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:38.840 your whole house, your whole closet into my house. I 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:42.320 think that communication is key. Stevie, how soon is it 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:44.440 too soon to start living and moving in with your 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:48.360 significant other? How soon is it too soon to move 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.320 in with your significant another? I don't know, Stevie. Whenn't 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.720 you move in with your wife? No? Well absolutely, I 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:56.039 do feel that in a lot of relationships, um, people 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:59.159 become very attached and they want to move in so soon. 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.840 They're not even man married, they don't even know each other. 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.720 I mean, I feel moving with each other can damage 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:09.159 your relationship. If you move into soon too soon could 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:12.360 damage your relationship because I didn't I don't know who 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:16.520 you are and who I am at home is definitely 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:20.120 different from who I am outside. Um, when I when 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:24.200 I But you didn't say it. Okay, So you just 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:27.159 said that you don't think you think the moving in 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.440 too soon can damnage a relationship? Okay? Cool? So when 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:34.000 should you move in? I think you gotta get when 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:37.839 you're married, when you're committed, or a little you move 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.680 in when you're married. Well, let me let me just say, 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:43.120 let me just say in a perfect world, but I 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:46.159 do believe that maybe and you know, do you agree 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.520 going to exactly a matta and definitely leave us comments 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:53.520 and d m us. I agree that maybe you should 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:56.720 before you're married, get to know each other a little bit, 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.520 and how you guys live together, because then if you're 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:03.120 married and you didn't really know, how would be when 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:07.520 you guys are together under the same roof, under one roof, 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:12.240 then maybe I, you know, that's not the way Stevie 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:13.640 did it, because I did say I was gonna tell 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.920 you the story I didn't get I didn't get into 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:20.440 a place with my wife until I got married. The 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.479 night of the wedding, that's beautiful. The night of the 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.559 wedding is when we moved into our apartment. Thank you lord. 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:28.679 It was good. I thought that was good. Everything was okay. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:30.800 But how how long were you guys dating? How long 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.320 were you guys dating before you got married? We were 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:38.880 three years? Okay, three years? So for three years she 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:40.680 slept in her house and you stepped in your house, 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:42.920 and we want to married. You guys decided to moving right, 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:46.320 we had just you know, and in our culture, we're 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.320 kind of pressured to kind of get married at an 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:54.320 early age, especially if you're religious whatever, Catonico, whatever you are. 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:58.320 They try to push it on you. And um, you 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:01.120 know that is better to marry than to burn, right, 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:02.840 That's what you hear a lot of in the churches, 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:07.039 and um, luckily we got to grow and love each other. 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:11.960 Remember my situation at hand. I also didn't just a 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.720 love woman. I love men as well. So I'm so 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:18.240 happy that my wife kind of turned into she man because, um, 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.560 she kind of does some great things that we learned 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.400 each other. You learn each other and you learn to 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:27.840 love each other, and that takes time. So I do 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:32.040 believe that if you do want to go into an 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:35.360 apartment together a little bit prior to your wedding a 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.760 mom for two before your wedding, that's a month before 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:42.640 your wedding, there is no fucking wedding if we don't 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:45.400 move in together. I don't care what you're telling me. 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:48.600 Let me tell you something. Here we go. I want 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:50.520 to know if you leave the toilet seat up. I 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.080 want to know if you know how to cook. I 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:53.840 want to know if I'm sick, are you gonna hold 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:55.760 me down? No thing? Okay, I'm in my house and 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.920 urine no, no. I want to know all your bad habits. 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:00.440 I want to know your temper. I want to know 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:08.160 what I want to know that was a commercial break anyways, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:10.360 Let me tell you something. I want to know all 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:13.440 those details. And I think that there's two things. There's 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.800 a magical feeling of waiting to marriage, to live with 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:21.360 that significant other. One there is two. I think that 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.080 once you get married to someone, you've officially committed to 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.360 spending the rest of your life with this person, and 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:28.520 we don't see that too once in these generations. I 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:32.599 feel that people have this this stigma, this brainwash mentality, 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.800 this Disney mindset that you know, when you get married, 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.360 it's supposed to be like, you know, happily. Ever after, 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:41.240 no Mamo, You're gonna struggle, You're gonna cry, he's probably 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:43.960 gonna cheat or she's gonna cheat. You're gonna feel insecure. 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.520 Y'all's gonna fight, y'all's gonna love each other. You're gonna 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:48.160 go through ups and down and you don't still have 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:51.559 to hold each other down. That's how those long marriages 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.000 used to work back in the days. These days, we 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:56.000 don't want to commit. We are stressed out, and the 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:57.760 first thing we want to do we're getting a divorce. 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:00.280 That's it is over. I'm gonna go on to in there, 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.240 I'm gonna go on a dating apple, I'm gonna find 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.600 somebody else. I'm gonna go on Instagram and no, you're 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:07.480 supposed to stay. We're gonna fight. We decided, out of 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:09.960 the seven billion human beings on this planet, you and 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:13.720 I are gonna thug this out together. So we don't 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.400 see that anymore. And those says I would say, I 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:18.640 want to live with you first. I want to know 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.640 all your bad habits. I want to know because we're 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:25.080 not gonna say and you over here. And everything changes 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.360 once you, guys moving together, that's really when you start 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:31.200 to get to know who you're with, Like the living situation. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.840 So if we can't get along living together, how are 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:36.839 we gonna get married? And those of the kid later 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.080 and we're gonna get well, it's possible. That's how they 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:40.360 used to do it back in the days. I don't 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.120 know if between one thing and the other. These topics 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.280 could go on and on and by the way, guys, 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.400 let us know how you feel about all these topics 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.640 that we're talking about today on exactly a mad on 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:53.640 Instagram and Twitter. Let me know, have you ever been 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.480 struggling or going through a situation like this? Here's another one. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.360 Do you meet the family before moving in with someone 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.440 with that person or or like, how does this work 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:11.960 the family, because let me tell you, families can ruin relationships. 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:16.360 And honestly, I think God that I got along with 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.520 my father in law. But the day that I said 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:20.959 I do, it kind of change things up with us, 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.960 you know. But it becomes real. It becomes real. So 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.760 you don't want to go into a marriage without knowing 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.680 who the family or what you're getting into. That's why 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:35.080 it is very important that you know. Even the old 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:39.360 saying of going to be the lilamano, you know, it's 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.480 very important. If you're a man, people don't do that anymore. 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.680 If you're a man, you should. I always say keeping class. 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.120 You've got to show some type of class because one, 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:52.480 you know, impression is everything. And if you you know, 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.040 if you're looking like you're well put together, the family 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.000 is gonna love you. The family is going to accept you. 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:59.800 But if you're coming in like yeo, yeah yo, I 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:08.760 want your daughter? Whatou dope? Like that? You know, I understand, 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:12.360 And it's very true. And the family doesn't work with you, 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.800 and the family doesn't buy with you. It depends the 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:19.600 family relationship, but it will it will, you know, destroy 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.800 the relationship a little bit. For example, my mom is 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:24.559 one of those and I'm open about it and I've 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.360 been honest my mom. I don't want to say she's destroyed, 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.400 but my mom has definitely been a big factor of 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.800 a lot of my relationships that haven't worked out because 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.440 she's going to make sure every day to be like 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:42.640 you see, I told you he's trash and even if 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.320 your mind is not there, they start to kind of 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:48.199 brainwash you. So I would definitely say, um, definitely meet 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.360 the family. Try to have the best relationship you can 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:51.800 have with the family. At the end of the day, 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.400 you also need to understand you guys chose to be 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.200 with each other. Yes, the family is part of that 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.000 significant other, but you guys have to make your own destiny. 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.199 Do we live for a family or do we live 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.800 for each other? This is a very interesting topic because 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.480 it's a red flag when a man is not trying 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.280 to meet your family. You know, it's a red flag, 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.040 and that could become a domestic later down the road. Absolutely, 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.360 because why wouldn't you want to be a part I 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:20.320 would love to be a part of my significant others families. 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.120 See how their mother are, their father are that's you know, 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:26.199 and really, like you said, it depends on the dynamic 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.600 of the family. But really vibing out is very important 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.280 when you bring a man to your family, make sure 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.240 that he he kind of fits in a little bit, 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.600 you know, and it or that he's trying at least, 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:40.600 because that shows, that shows within a couple of minutes. 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:44.120 So I honestly believe to help you out a little bit, 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:47.240 I believe that you should have someone that could vibe, 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.120 because it would be nice family parties. They vibe I 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.400 mean in the Dominican culture and Puerto Rican culture and 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.760 you know, I know they you know that dances with 0:12:55.800 --> 0:13:00.880 the mother and nice. I know, it's so beautiful to see, 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.480 you know, your boyfriend, your girlfriend like taking out your 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.600 mother in law, your father in law to dance, come out, 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:08.760 listen and there's a connection. So find what you can 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.600 bring to the table to the family as well, and 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.679 you know, and most importantly loved. I think that's very 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:16.760 important that would help you in a relationship. You have 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.319 to remember me that things have If you feel that 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.520 you have it hard these days, listen, people back in 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:27.240 the days had to give a cow and achieved and sacrifice. 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:28.760 I say it, you have it easy. But I'm gonna 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.480 say one last thing, before I moved to the next 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.480 the next topic that ever you want to hear, because 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.760 I have ad like this is a very interesting conversation 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:36.720 to me, but an older guy was gonna say, is 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.400 going back to the family. Also, make sure that's been 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:43.679 my mistake number a thousand, because my mom is my 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.880 best friend and my circle is so small, and I 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:52.240 barely talked to anybody, honestly, Yes, shout out to mommy Anna. Um, 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:56.559 whenever you have any inconvenience problems, whatever issues you may 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.600 have with your significant other, don't go sharing it to 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.080 your sister, straight to your brother, to your cousin, to 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:07.240 your mama, to your daddy. Yes that you should. Don't 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.280 be that social media bitch that every time you have 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:14.679 an issue with your man or you guys quote and 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.120 they're gonna start de leading pictures. And now everybody knows 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:19.520 because I didn't say nothing. Yeah, you didn't have to. 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:21.800 You posted a whole bunch of quotes you deleted on 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:23.360 my pictures, and now everybody knows that you and I 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:25.960 are going through it, so that to three days later 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.320 we're back together. So going back to the family, if 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.040 you share a lot of your personal issues with your 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.920 closest family members don't feel upset it. Later on they 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:39.320 started to look at your significant other with an attitude 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:44.680 or have an issue because that has to be between y'all, 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:51.760 Like stop sharing that ship if you if you share 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.600 that then you can be upset. And later on your 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.320 family doesn't want to accept that person because it could 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:59.880 have been the smallest little thing you were piste off. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.920 You turn it into a big deal. Now your whole 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.080 family doesn't want to know about him or her, And 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:05.600 now you guys love each other, want to be with 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.360 each other. So anyways, we will be right back with 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:11.600 more of exactly a mata. And we're back with more 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.800 of exactly a matta. No, that is a great that's 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:23.320 a great time. That is a great point because and 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:27.080 the little thing and then your mom is like you 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.240 already put a bad taste in her mouth. And speaking 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:33.080 of once you move in, how do you decide who 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:38.400 pays what bills? I? I can you pay my bills? 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:42.480 Can you pay him a telephone bill? Um? Who pays 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.720 the bills? Meta? Back in the days, man used to 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.640 pay the bills. We used to take care of the children. 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:52.600 Make sure that that the dinner is on the table, 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:56.360 and the total is good every night. However, things have changed. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:01.600 Women were independent, were all equality, la la what or whatever? 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.560 Now we both work. A lot of women make more 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:05.960 money than men. A lot of men make more well, yeah, 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.040 they've always made more money than women. But anyways, the 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:11.560 point is that, um, I think that you need to 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.680 have a conversation and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say why. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.880 Usually the answer would be men have to pay and 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:23.080 we pay less. Battom. I do understand how these days 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.000 there's a lot of women that are financially more stable 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:28.600 than men. And I don't think that you should just 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.560 marry for money. That's just me because I've known a 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.600 lot of women that have married rich men. And rich 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:39.120 men comes along, pandemic, comes, an accident, comes, health issue, comes, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.480 anything can come. The money has gone. What happens now, 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:44.360 so that you really love this person and you were 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.320 willing to rock with them for for a long time 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.880 or forever, or you were just there for the money, 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.840 and then you put in jeopardy your children's your your 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.240 children's stability. I hope your own mental health is just 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.960 too much. I feel that if you're with someone and 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.040 you make more money than they do whoever it may be, 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.960 whether it's her or him, you both need to sit 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.520 down and have a discussion. Met that baby, I make danto, 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:10.600 You make danto. The rent, that this, that, this, that 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:15.640 comes out to dollars a month like my bills, damn um. 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:19.600 And I'll do it all by myself. It comes to dollars. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:21.960 And don't say because I make more, I'm gonna pay 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.520 by man. See I'm gonna paid twelve. Now you gotta 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:26.560 figure out the other part, you know what I'm saying. 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:28.480 I feel like you can. You can talk it out 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:30.640 and figure out a way that you both are kind 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.520 of you know, even if you're looking for a partner. Now, 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.080 if you're looking for a sugar mom or sugar that 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.080 into you don't pay nothing. You know you don't, you 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:39.360 don't do nothing. I don't think that's fair. If your look, 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:41.600 if you're in love, if you're looking to build with 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:43.919 someone and you really funk with them and really rocking 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.480 with them, I don't think it should all be one sided. 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:49.440 I I personally don't beat old Babby if you want 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:50.879 to pay all my bills and yeah you're not not 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.520 don't get that key. Yeah, I haven't even leave it. 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.080 Let it be what it is. I'm not gonna be mad. 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.920 If you want to pay it, I'm not gonna You'll 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:02.280 start buying and replay seeing furniture to better your living conditions. 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.359 What it depends who's moving. It depends who's moving into 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:10.800 whose house, or who's moving into what You know what 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.480 I'm saying. If your furniture looks a little raggedy, boy, 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:17.359 the heyn blow and we want together And your spot 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.320 looks a little raggedy, and I know I could hook 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.719 it up a little bit. We'll modify some things now. 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:26.600 If we are really committed, committed to being together, I 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.480 wanta tell you something that I would definitely want to do. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.840 And it's gonna sound little crunchy. Don't judge me. We're 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:35.520 gonna change his damn mattress. Mete out. Anyways, Here goes 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:40.000 another good question. Here goes another another good question. How 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:43.320 does the how does the other person having children affect 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:47.000 the process of like having a sleepover or if you 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:49.240 guys want to move in together, whatever? If that person 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:53.119 already has kids better and you you guys want to 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.720 move in together, how does that work? I for you? 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:59.880 You know the bad them? First of all, I pound 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.879 being married with my husband, and when we get married, 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.640 that's it. Like there's no divorces. I don't care if 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:07.280 you can't stand me. If I can't stand you, were 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:09.239 gonna live in the same house in separate rooms, and 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:13.000 we're stuck with each other. However, if I already have 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.280 to have already have children, my children need to like 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.199 you first. I need to have a conversation with my 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:23.119 children first, because I believe that you have to be 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:29.080 a mother first and woman secondly. So first, if you're 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:31.439 gonna bring a stranger into your home, we're gonna have 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.159 a conversation. Listen, Mommy is in love with this person 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:36.760 or meeting someone new, I would like for you to 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.280 get to know them first. We're gonna hang out a 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:41.320 couple of times. Let me know the vibe, let me 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:42.840 know what you like, what you don't like. How do 0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:44.639 you feel? Do you feel comfortable with you? Does he 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.480 look at too funny, especially if you have little girls 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:49.879 or little boys? Does he look at you funny? Does 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:52.440 he make you feel you know? On look? I said, 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:54.760 I talked to me. Let me know, and if so 0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:59.080 and my children agree, then yes, you can move into 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:01.600 our household or whatever. But I would never put my 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:04.840 children in a space where they're uncomfortable because I want 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.439 to you know, they can satisfy myself. No, don't. They 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:10.760 are children. Okay, so I could just I want to 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:13.840 play Devil's advocate for just one second, hold on, hold 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:19.160 on holding, But not if you are a kid that 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.600 is not even giving your mother's a new significant other 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.000 a chance. See, there's some kids that don't even want 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:26.879 to give them a chance. Now, if I see that 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.719 you're not that you're giving them a chance. Fine, if 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.000 I see that you're not giving them a chance, then 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.040 it's kind of wrong, especially if the guy is nice. 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.439 But we definitely should stay here for a little bit 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:41.000 because let me just say, I feel that when kids 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:44.119 grow up and then they have their significant others, they 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:49.440 kick their parents to the curve. So see now, and 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:52.240 no happening this because you know that kids once they're 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:54.600 thirteen fourteen, they want to lock themselves in the rooms. 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:56.200 They don't even want to hang out with their parents. 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:58.760 So it's not fair that the parent doesn't get to 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:01.600 live their life. Now, you make sure that you help 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:05.399