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Speaker 1: This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in Depth.

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Speaker 1: Ashley and I are back with another in depth episode

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Speaker 1: of Almost Famous podcast. Ashley, I would say one of

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Speaker 1: the highlights of this self isolation process has been it

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Speaker 1: kind of has forced us to get creative and uh

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Speaker 1: and start doing more in depth, which is something that

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Speaker 1: I know you and I both love doing. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was our goal. Honestly, we were like, Okay, this spring,

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Speaker 1: in between Bachelor and Bachelor Rette season, let's do as

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Speaker 1: many in depth with a big Bachelor personalities that we can.

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Speaker 1: We've had a couple of them before we bring on

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Speaker 1: our our guests today, which is a name that that

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Speaker 1: we all know. Uh, there's been a lot of kind

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Speaker 1: of recent things happening with this person and this character. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I want to take a second to talk to you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you've been getting many messages on

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Speaker 1: social media. I'm sure you do. A lot of people

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Speaker 1: lean on you for kind of emotional support. I've been

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Speaker 1: getting a lot of message you if you're listening, you

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Speaker 1: know who you are, from people saying hey, they really

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Speaker 1: enjoyed the podcast, or if they don't even mentioned the podcast.

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Speaker 1: People out there telling me stories of pain of confusion

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Speaker 1: of chaos in their lives right now, in the midst

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Speaker 1: of the shutdown and the virus. Um. I think we

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Speaker 1: do it. We try to do it every podcast, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's appropriate for you and I just

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Speaker 1: to kind of take a second, uh and recognize that

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Speaker 1: there's people out there really hurting, and to tell people

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Speaker 1: and encourage everybody to start looking around them at people

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Speaker 1: that are are feeling like outsiders and maybe try to

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Speaker 1: do something to help. Yeah. Um, I know that people

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Speaker 1: look to podcasts for like kind of friends when they

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Speaker 1: don't have any around them. So if that's how you

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Speaker 1: guys are feeling about our podcast, about any podcast that

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Speaker 1: makes us feel so good? Um, and yeah, for it's

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Speaker 1: just like a tip to anyone who is feeling lonely.

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Speaker 1: You may listen to our podcast, but you know, listen

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Speaker 1: to a humor podcast or listen to a girl talk podcast.

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Speaker 1: It may make you feel more part of a community

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Speaker 1: at this point. Yeah, it's it's interesting. Actually, I've gotten

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Speaker 1: a message today right before we got on uh. And

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Speaker 1: I always get messages from people saying they're huge fans

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Speaker 1: of you and and fans of you and Jared, but

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Speaker 1: today I got one from somebody just saying kind of

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Speaker 1: telling me their story through a message of of how

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Speaker 1: much pain and difficulty days came through UH during this

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Speaker 1: time and they feel alone. But here's the truth of

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Speaker 1: it all. UH. And I think our next guests can

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Speaker 1: it can verify this is the one thing about this

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Speaker 1: quarantine that's been UH that that is UH that is

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Speaker 1: helpful to understand, is we're all in this together. Like

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Speaker 1: everybody is in isolation right now. Like if you feel

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Speaker 1: lonely and you're at home and you're like, I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen my friends in weeks, nobody likes me, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe you're starting to question, like if anybody really cares

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Speaker 1: about you, Like you should be reaching out to people,

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Speaker 1: you should be asking for help. But second is we're

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Speaker 1: all alone right now, Like all of us are like

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Speaker 1: I think a little bit pulling your hair out, a

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Speaker 1: little bit confused. We haven't seen people in a while.

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Speaker 1: Like you are definitely not alone. We are in this together.

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Speaker 1: This is a part of it. Yes, And I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to say thank you for sending my dad and

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Speaker 1: all his coworkers at the hospital that sweet basket of gifts.

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Speaker 1: Did they get the things that? Yeah, it's one of

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Speaker 1: the things that makes them feel appreciated. And you know,

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Speaker 1: just those small old gestures can just warm somebody's heart.

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Speaker 1: And that, I mean, that's not even a small gesture.

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Speaker 1: What you did was amazing, So thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: You got that today was so cute. Ben sent a

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Speaker 1: package of coffee and sweets and like a couple of

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Speaker 1: little crafty items. Was really adorable. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: I I don't know how he hasn't texted you yet,

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Speaker 1: but he asked for your number earlier. Awesome. Hey, well

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Speaker 1: that's it's a small thing to do for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people sacrifice their lives in the front lines. Well, hey, anyways,

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Speaker 1: I just want to start that with that. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: know you and I both have have have shared in

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Speaker 1: our empathy and sympathy and also just our own kind

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Speaker 1: of struggles with being isolated and feeling a little bit alone.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to start with that, uh. And I

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Speaker 1: also want to start with it, Ashley, because our guest

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Speaker 1: today is somebody that Batchel Nation knows well, somebody that

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Speaker 1: Bachelation has uh learned to uh just to be honest,

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Speaker 1: to be confused by, to really get behind and love on.

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Speaker 1: To also be very angry at to kind of push

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Speaker 1: to the side and then kind of invite back in

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Speaker 1: like this, this contestant has had, um, I think it's

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Speaker 1: very fair fair to say, a roller coaster of a

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Speaker 1: ride leading to this point in their life and and

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Speaker 1: through all of this, Uh, they've been very open about

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Speaker 1: their struggles with mental health. Uh, their struggles with kind

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Speaker 1: of anxiety and depression and panic. Uh. Some similar topics

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Speaker 1: are probably what a lot of us are feeling, um

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Speaker 1: right now in this in this kind of season that

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Speaker 1: we're in in life. But we're gonna talk about all

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Speaker 1: this today. It's gonna be a wide array of topics.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna bring on our guests for this episode of

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Speaker 1: the In Depth Podcast. Blake Hortzman, Welcome to Almost Famous

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Speaker 1: in Depth. Thank you, thank you. Happy to be here

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Speaker 1: to be a fun time I have been actually like

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Speaker 1: it's given me something to look forward to because a

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Speaker 1: lot thanks Blake. Are you quarantined alone? So I am

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Speaker 1: completely quarantine alone. The only person I've been seeing is

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Speaker 1: my sister who's also quarantine alone. So we've been Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But you guys ever just like become roomies or is

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Speaker 1: that too much together? Nice for you guys? She well,

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Speaker 1: she's working still virtually, so like moment teaches, but I

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Speaker 1: see on the weekends. Yeah, that's been I don't have

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Speaker 1: any pets or anything like that, so I'm pretty alone.

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Speaker 1: Well let's just start with there. I mean, that's a

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Speaker 1: great question, Ash Blake. A lot of people out there

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Speaker 1: are going to be listening to this during the time

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Speaker 1: of a shutdown, and who knows how long it will last.

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Speaker 1: At this point, Uh, how has it been for you,

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Speaker 1: Like you are alone in your house? You obviously life

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Speaker 1: has slowed down a lot. We'll get to kind of

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Speaker 1: what you were doing here in a second, but just

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Speaker 1: in general process with us, what is it like to

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Speaker 1: be locked into an apartment all alone? Yeah? It is? Uh,

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Speaker 1: I mean this is literally I feel like this has

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Speaker 1: never happened, like in human history anything like this. So

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Speaker 1: we're all figuring out as we go. And I've actually

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Speaker 1: so I've been aware this in the last two years.

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Speaker 1: I'm a big routine guy, but the last two years

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Speaker 1: I haven't had anything even resembling a routine. So I've

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Speaker 1: taken advantage of this. Last like month, I've gotten into

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Speaker 1: a routine again, which has been kind of nice. I

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Speaker 1: got myself a peloton. So I've been writing that every day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's great writing that every day. I've been working out

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Speaker 1: making music. I've been like picked up hobbies. I ordered

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Speaker 1: an electric guitar, which I got. I'm gonna learned to

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Speaker 1: play that. And then I used to play the sacks

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Speaker 1: as a kid, so I ordered the sacks and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna learn to play that again. So very cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so picking up some new hobby or not new hobbies

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Speaker 1: to make maybe you know, figuring out small hobbies that

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Speaker 1: I used to enjoy. So I'm trying to take advantage.

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Speaker 1: I think most people should try and take advantage of

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Speaker 1: this time right now as lonely or you know has

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Speaker 1: And I know that's hard for some who have like kids.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine having kids right now. I can't imagine.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine. And I've never been more thankful to

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Speaker 1: not have kids yet. Yeah, it would be very hard.

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Speaker 1: I have some friends who have, uh, and yeah they're struggling.

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Speaker 1: But I think two real quick. I I feel like

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Speaker 1: right now, so I know we're like all everything's virtual

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Speaker 1: and everything, But I talked to some friends I haven't

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Speaker 1: talked to in ten years. Have you guys heard of

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Speaker 1: that like house party at or whatever. That is a definitely.

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Speaker 1: So if I was on my house party at the

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Speaker 1: other night with college dreammates haven't spoken to in like

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Speaker 1: ten years, so it's crazy, like it's kind of bringing

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Speaker 1: us all together because you spoke to how everybody's in

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Speaker 1: this together. So it's kind of cool at the same

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Speaker 1: storme is cool. I was talking to Ben last week

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Speaker 1: about it. I was like, I think I'd like, like

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Speaker 1: really enjoy ten days quarantine and alone. But I think

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Speaker 1: after that was would be when the lonely starts to hit.

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Speaker 1: But that's let's find it nice that you have your

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Speaker 1: sister who pops in every now, yeah, we pop anyone.

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Speaker 1: But I agree, this is like cool, like the first

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Speaker 1: like two weeks now I'm like a whole boy. Maybe

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Speaker 1: two of this. Well. One of the things Blake, you know,

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Speaker 1: just for anybody out there listening, Blake and I both

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Speaker 1: live in Denver. Uh, We're good friends. When I'm back

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Speaker 1: in Denver, which is it often right now, we do

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Speaker 1: try to see each other when I'm back. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that we've always talked about, I mean really

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Speaker 1: ever since you were on the show and I first

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Speaker 1: met you, was the transitions that this experience brings to you, right,

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Speaker 1: you want to take advantage of the opportunities that presents

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Speaker 1: them themselves. And uh, you know, a lot of times

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Speaker 1: it does open you up for new careers and and

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Speaker 1: new opportunities that you've never could have imagined. But you

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Speaker 1: and I have both said, like, you never want to

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Speaker 1: lose yourself, uh, in the experience, and there was a

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Speaker 1: moment in time that you felt like you were starting

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Speaker 1: to lose yourself. You were so busy, you were traveling

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Speaker 1: all the time, you were exhausted. I remember at one

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Speaker 1: point I you came over for a drink and You're like,

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Speaker 1: I've been to twelve different places in the last seven days.

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Speaker 1: It was something ridiculous and why I didn't even understand

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Speaker 1: how it worked. Have this Has this slowdown been hard

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Speaker 1: for you to adjust to the new pace or has

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Speaker 1: it been refreshing? Are you healthier? Uh? You know, mental

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Speaker 1: health is something you've always talked about, Like, how is

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Speaker 1: your mental health right now? Yeah? I think you were

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Speaker 1: used the right word. I think it's been really refreshing. Actually,

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Speaker 1: because I was on a tear there at the beginning

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Speaker 1: of the year. I was I was doing you know,

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Speaker 1: DJ sets all over the country. I was doing some

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Speaker 1: appearances here and there, and so I was definitely running

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Speaker 1: on empty. Since has been a bit of a blessing

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Speaker 1: in disguise for me. I let my especially when Paradise

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Speaker 1: was airing, Uh, kind of let my health get away

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Speaker 1: from me. Um. You know, I was in a bad spot. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and I gained like fifteen pounds and I was just

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Speaker 1: eating like crap. I was in bed all the time,

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Speaker 1: didn't leave my apartment, and I was I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to get back in shape, but this last like month,

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Speaker 1: I've lost about ten pounds, lost about three percent. Bodie

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Speaker 1: fack because I've just like been able to take the

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Speaker 1: time for myself and hopefully a lot of people are

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Speaker 1: doing that, trying to take this time, you know, and

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Speaker 1: really trying to figure out themselves and you know what

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Speaker 1: they can do to become healthier, whether it be mentally

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Speaker 1: or physically. Yeah. Well, uh, blake again. I want to

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Speaker 1: throw it to Ashley here. She's gonna uh kind of

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Speaker 1: take over from here. But I appreciate your vulnerability. I

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Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be really helpful as this podcast continues,

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Speaker 1: is hearing your heart where your minds at pretty bed.

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Speaker 1: They're listening, that's going. Who the heck is Blake Hortzman.

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Speaker 1: Uh he Uh, he's from Colorado. You should definitely google

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Speaker 1: him please as a friend, I would love for you

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Speaker 1: to google to him. What has best Blake Horsemen best

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Speaker 1: known for? Would be a great legal search. Um. He

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Speaker 1: was on Beca Kufern's season of The Bachelotte. He was

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Speaker 1: runner up um to her now fiance Garrett on Becca's season.

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Speaker 1: He did fall hard for Becca. He had a lot

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Speaker 1: of respect for Becca. I know that was a real

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Speaker 1: relationship and we'll talk about that later on that lasted. Uh.

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Speaker 1: He went on to season six of Bachelor in Paradise,

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Speaker 1: where he dated or I guess we should say have

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Speaker 1: feelings for Tasia, Kaitlin, Christina and Hannah Gee. Now, yes,

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Speaker 1: that is what we know Blake for. But there's more

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Speaker 1: to him than that. Uh, Blake, you grew up in Colorado.

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Speaker 1: Describe your childhood. Yeah, grow U in the small mountain

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Speaker 1: town here in Colorado. Gradual so I graduated with like

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Speaker 1: a hundred ten. It's a pretty small town. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty small. Yeah, I mean it's you know these

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Speaker 1: mountain towns called out a little different because there's like

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Speaker 1: huge like area wise, but like there's not many people

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Speaker 1: because everybody has huge lands and stuff. So it's kind

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Speaker 1: of hard to describe with people who don't know kind

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Speaker 1: of what the mountains look like. But um, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: still like five h kids maybe foreign kids total in

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Speaker 1: my high school. Uh, pretty small high school. Uh, close

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Speaker 1: to my family. Um, parents did get divorced, you know

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Speaker 1: when I was what was like sixteen, fifteen sixteen, So

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Speaker 1: that was hard obviously, especially in a small town. I

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Speaker 1: think it makes it a lot harder. Uh. And then

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Speaker 1: from there I went to college in Nebraska, so also

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Speaker 1: another small college in the Midwest. Um, and then from

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Speaker 1: then moved back to Colorado after graduating there and lived

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Speaker 1: in Denver now for about six years. Did your parents

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Speaker 1: divorce have any effect on how you looked at relationships

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Speaker 1: and love? Did you still want to get married at

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Speaker 1: that point? Absolutely? So it had a weird effect on

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Speaker 1: me because my parents definitely, you know, they had they

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Speaker 1: were married very young. Um, they were together gosh, I

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Speaker 1: want to say eighteen years something like that. Eighteen years

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Speaker 1: a long time, Like it wasn't like a queen cooking

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Speaker 1: hairriage or anything. And uh, but they were you know,

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Speaker 1: definitely together for the kids for a long time, and

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Speaker 1: so it was almost when it finally they decided, you

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Speaker 1: know to kind of part ways. Uh, it hurts, but

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I knew it was best for everybody,

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Speaker 1: and they're both very happy now literally in the next

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Speaker 1: relationship they were into. They've been together since so for

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Speaker 1: both of them. So my mom remarried, my dad now

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Speaker 1: been dating you know, the same woman for ten years,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe longer. So um, So, yeah, it was. It

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Speaker 1: was one of those weird things where it didn't make

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Speaker 1: me not believe in love or not believe in marriage,

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Speaker 1: because they gave her the best shot at the last one,

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Speaker 1: you know, as long as possible. They raised me and

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Speaker 1: my sister and stayed together for us, loved us. I

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Speaker 1: was always in a very loving home. And then when

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Speaker 1: they split up, they still found you know, remarried and

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Speaker 1: found love again. So definitely didn't affect you know, my

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Speaker 1: love life or anything like that. Tell tell us a

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Speaker 1: little bit more about what it's like. Um. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that I don't think we've ever discussed on

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Speaker 1: in death podcast though, is uh, as somebody it's in

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Speaker 1: high school or late high school, you know, you had

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Speaker 1: some traumatic experiences. I know it was public that you

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Speaker 1: were at school. Uh, you're a senior when there was

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Speaker 1: a school shooting at your high school. Uh. In addition

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Speaker 1: to that, obviously, we just talked about the separation of

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Speaker 1: your parents. Uh. For anybody out there listening, that's just like, hey,

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Speaker 1: these feel like heavy topics. Uh. And not everybody has

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Speaker 1: been through a school shooting. Um, that is a unique experience,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of people have been through divorce. How

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Speaker 1: do you process this and has it changed your perception

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Speaker 1: of kind of life and how you see the world. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my high school. You know, at the time, when you're

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Speaker 1: going through that, you don't really realize that it's much

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Speaker 1: different than everybody else. I mean, obviously a school shooting

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Speaker 1: is very unique. But when you're going through it, you know,

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Speaker 1: you don't really think much of it. But when you

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Speaker 1: look back on it's like, man, high school, those four

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Speaker 1: or three or four years really transformed who I am

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Speaker 1: today and the man I am uh still you know,

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Speaker 1: and parents divorce, Um, yes, it was very hard, you know,

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Speaker 1: and especially in a small town you know. Um, But

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Speaker 1: at the same time, it brought me and my sister

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Speaker 1: very very close, and so that that is something that

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Speaker 1: I'll always be thankful for. Me and my sister are

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Speaker 1: super close. Now she's two years younger than me. Um,

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Speaker 1: we were always kind of close, but that's um we're

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Speaker 1: going through. The divorce brought us very very close together.

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Speaker 1: And UM then yeah, I mean it was not much

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Speaker 1: longer after. Its kind of during Actually, Um, I was

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Speaker 1: a senior in in high school and a complete stranger

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Speaker 1: walked into my high school, didn't have any ties to

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Speaker 1: the high school and took took um some female students hostage.

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Speaker 1: And it was very scared, obviously for everybody in the

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Speaker 1: community and the state really came together. But for me,

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Speaker 1: it was kind of strange because or you know, hard,

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Speaker 1: because my sister was a freshman at the time, and

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Speaker 1: then my mom actually worked in high school too, so

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Speaker 1: I had basically my whole family in that high school

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Speaker 1: at the time. So it hit me a little differently, um,

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Speaker 1: because you know, so much could have been taken from

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Speaker 1: me that day, and you know, I'll never forget my

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Speaker 1: mom was actually the one who got on the intercom

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Speaker 1: and said like code white, and I could hear it

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Speaker 1: in my mom's voice that something was wrong, you know,

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Speaker 1: and the teacher. Remember the teacher looking at me, and

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at the teacher, and I could say how

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Speaker 1: something was off. And I'll never forget stacking desks in

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Speaker 1: front of doors and taking windows and things like that,

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Speaker 1: and it's it was very hard to process at the time.

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Speaker 1: I remember crying, but I couldn't figure out why. I

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Speaker 1: remember that a lot um. And but one of the

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Speaker 1: cool things that came from it is the community, the

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Speaker 1: state and that the country really rallied around us uh.

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Speaker 1: And I remember we were getting I was getting calls

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Speaker 1: from people that I had, you know, would never have

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Speaker 1: probably talked to, and they were calling UM in support.

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Speaker 1: And remember there was a ton of money donated to

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Speaker 1: my school, and I remember we had a whole classroom

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Speaker 1: full of Teddy Bears things like that. So it was

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Speaker 1: cool to see the outpouring of love UM when things

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Speaker 1: like that happened, and how people can kind of come together,

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Speaker 1: and it gave me I mean, sometimes you can lose,

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Speaker 1: you know, faith in humanity a lot actually, and that

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Speaker 1: was just a reminder that there are really good people

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Speaker 1: out there. And that was that was kind of a

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Speaker 1: cool thing. Was everybody, Okay, we did lose one female. Yeah, Um,

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Speaker 1: and uh yeah, it was. It was really hard. Uh

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Speaker 1: you know, she was small school, so you kind of

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Speaker 1: know everybody, and uh, it was. It was also very

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Speaker 1: god incredible to see was her parents um rally and

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Speaker 1: be so strong and she they actually there's a Emily

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Speaker 1: Keys Foundation. Her name's Emily Keys. There's an Emily Keys

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Speaker 1: Foundation now and anytime you actually just did exactly renew

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Speaker 1: my license. It was kind of a weird moment where

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Speaker 1: I was going through the UM it's giving new driver's

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Speaker 1: license and in it it says, would you like to

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Speaker 1: donate to the Emily Keys UM. I think it's a

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Speaker 1: donor foundation because she donated all of you know, her

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Speaker 1: organs and everything. And I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy that that out of that, you know, how

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Speaker 1: many lives have been saved. And I was like, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was like donate, donate, donate. So it was interesting

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Speaker 1: and it was it was just the strength that her

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Speaker 1: parents showed and her family showed was also, um, it

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Speaker 1: was very inspiring. Yeah, do you do you feel like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, how much of that there's always I'm in

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Speaker 1: therapy right now, UM, and my counselor talks about there

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Speaker 1: is this moment in every person, no matter if you're

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Speaker 1: male or female, or how you identifies life where you

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Speaker 1: because like you see, like there's this you see the

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Speaker 1: world differently, become an adult in a sense, you lose

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Speaker 1: your night not naiveness, you uh the I guess the

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Speaker 1: lens of the world looks different. Was this that moment

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Speaker 1: for you or if not yet? I remember there was

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Speaker 1: a moment during I haven't talked about a while. It

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Speaker 1: choked out. I'll never forget. So when we were evacuated

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Speaker 1: from the high school, um by you know, swat teams

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Speaker 1: um room by room. I remember going into the they

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Speaker 1: huddled us into the gymnasium, which was in a different building,

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Speaker 1: and they heldled us into the gymnasium and I remember

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Speaker 1: seeing my mom and sister for the first time, you know,

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Speaker 1: and we like ran to the middle of the gymnasium

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Speaker 1: and did a big group hug and it was just

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Speaker 1: like in that moment, it was like, gosh, things can

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Speaker 1: you just ripped from you know, ripped ripped from you

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Speaker 1: so quickly and stuff fast. Um And it's strange maybe

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Speaker 1: to learn that in high school when I was like

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Speaker 1: sixteen or seventeen, um, but it was definitely a moment

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Speaker 1: that I will always remember, like being so thankful that

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Speaker 1: they weren't ripped for me, and there was and then

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Speaker 1: also at the same time, though, feeling the pain of

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Speaker 1: Emily's family and how she was ripped from them. You know,

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Speaker 1: it was it was a lot to take in, you know,

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Speaker 1: the six and seventeen and still stuff. I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: know processed along the way, and it took a while,

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Speaker 1: but to be so thankful that for what I have,

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Speaker 1: But then at the same time, somebody lost their child,

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Speaker 1: you know, that was that was a hard thing to

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Speaker 1: deal with, you know, in a six and cents. I

395
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Speaker 1: remember just I remember watching CNN and they were like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was a helicopter with my school, and

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Speaker 1: I remember seeing certain things happening, and I remember just

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Speaker 1: losing and crying and I was like why, you know,

399
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Speaker 1: like why am I crying right now? But it was

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Speaker 1: just so much the process at the time. Do you think, um,

401
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Speaker 1: have have you ever been that scared again? Now? I

402
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Speaker 1: guess that's that's a good point. I mean, I've never really,

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Speaker 1: I've never really thankfully thank God that I've never really

404
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Speaker 1: experienced anything like that. And there was a feeling of helplessness,

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Speaker 1: Like I'll never forget that. I'll never forget the feeling

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Speaker 1: of helplessness and us running from like classroom classroom to

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Speaker 1: try and like lock doors and find doors that had locks,

408
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Speaker 1: and you'd hear a knock on the door and you'd pant.

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Speaker 1: You'd be like, oh my god, what's happened? Because we

410
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Speaker 1: had no information? Um, So, I mean it was complete terror,

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Speaker 1: but also for myself, but most most importantly, like I

412
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Speaker 1: knew my sister was in you know that that hype

413
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Speaker 1: that the school as well, and my mom and friends,

414
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Speaker 1: and like your whole life you know, at that time

415
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Speaker 1: in your sixteen, your whole life is in that school.

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Speaker 1: And so it was not only worried about yourself, be

417
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Speaker 1: worried about people love too, And that was that was

418
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Speaker 1: really hard. Did you feel like you had like long

419
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Speaker 1: term effects by it, like going back to school? Um? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, of course obviously, like that's a life changing

421
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Speaker 1: moment obviously, um and something that well unfortunately too many

422
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Speaker 1: people go through to be honest now, Um, but I

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Speaker 1: remember going back to school. A couple of weeks later,

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Speaker 1: they kind of opened up to school and I remember

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Speaker 1: they they changed the door shut. Um of the room

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Speaker 1: that really everything took place in, and it was really eerie.

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Speaker 1: But also, like I said, it was all of the

428
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 1: students came together, and the teachers and the community and

429
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 1: everybody was just this outpoint of love that I I've

430
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 1: never felt before or since, to be honest, and so

431
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 1: it was pretty incredible. Yes, it changed me and changed

432
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 1: our community, but also like it gave me hope again.

433
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: You know, you lose all that hope some stranger who

434
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: just for no reason came into our high school. But

435
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: at the same time, you lose hope, and at the

436
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 1: same time you see all of these incredible people doing

437
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 1: these incredible things and gets you hope again. And that's

438
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 1: why it's so important for people to reach out um

439
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,439
Speaker 1: in times of need, because it does make a difference

440
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 1: coming from somebody who's been in it. It does make

441
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 1: a difference. The donations, the Teddy Bears, the food, everything

442
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 1: makes huge difference. They you're You're just sitting here and

443
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 1: I'm listening to everything you're saying. And you know, obviously

444
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: as a kid who went to the high school, you

445
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: experienced this and there was huge life changing effects from it.

446
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 1: The family that lost somebody had massive life changing effects,

447
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,120
Speaker 1: as you said, like this is unfortunately not uncommon and

448
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: some in the world we live in. Uh. And it

449
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: also makes me think that, um, that we all, you know,

450
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: we all have a story, that we all have something

451
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 1: in our lives that marks that point in time where

452
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 1: we realize that we're out of control, like we don't

453
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 1: have control of this. We we aren't in control of

454
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: what happens next. And it makes me relate in a

455
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: lot of ways to like what's happening now, Like, Uh,

456
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of weeks ago, people had jobs,

457
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 1: or a couple of months ago, people had jobs, people

458
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 1: were hearing rumors of a virus that was across the world. Uh,

459
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: things were operating as usual as normal. Um, we were

460
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 1: able to be with family. You know, Easter is coming up,

461
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 1: and as a Christian, like that's a big weekend for me.

462
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite weekends. It's where I get

463
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: to see my grandmother who is in her eighties that

464
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: I don't get to see very often, and I get

465
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 1: to give her a hug and sit with her and

466
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: just share memories with her. I get to see my

467
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 1: grandpa who's in his mid nineties right now, and like

468
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: those Easter, in these holidays are times that I would

469
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 1: make it special to come back home and to sit

470
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: with him. And I say all of this not to

471
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 1: feel sorry for me. All all of us have a story.

472
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: Uh you know, all of us have a story. And

473
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: right now a lot of people, their story is being changed,

474
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 1: their story is being enhanced, their story is getting more complex,

475
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: their sadness involved. There's weird ways of like new ways

476
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: of looking at the world and kind of celebrating through

477
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: this Blake as we end this segment about your upbringing

478
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 1: and who you are as a man, leading you into

479
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things in your life, which is

480
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 1: crazy enough going on a reality television show. For anybody

481
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: out there listening, once again, that's going my story feels

482
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: so hard to understand right now, Like this is so scary.

483
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: My world is being rocked, My world view is changing.

484
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: What would you say to them if you had your

485
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: platform and you had everybody that just feels lonely and

486
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: scared right now, what would you speak into their life? Well,

487
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 1: first of all, I get it, and that don't be

488
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: like you should be afraid, you should be scary, you know,

489
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: like and kind of embrace that in a way. Because

490
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: if you fight it, you know, the more and more

491
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,440
Speaker 1: you fight it, UM, it's okay to if you'd be

492
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: afraid right now. I have more friends who have been

493
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: laid off than friends who have not right now. And

494
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: it's a terrifying time. Um. And the virus itself is scary.

495
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: And I think, like I have some friends who I

496
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 1: recently talked to and they were like, we were you know,

497
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: we were like crying on FaceTime. And it's like I

498
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 1: have a friend of mine and she had this day

499
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: where she just cried all day and she just let

500
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: out this big cry, you know, and then the next

501
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: day she felt a lot better. I think it's okay

502
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 1: to be scared right now, um, you know, and to

503
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:18,400
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, embrace that and try and I guess,

504
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: figure out who you want to be coming out of this.

505
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 1: I think it's almost kind of an opportunity and a

506
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 1: way to um, you know, whether you were in a

507
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 1: job you were comletely happy with, um, whether you were

508
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,719
Speaker 1: a person maybe you weren't happy with, And now this

509
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 1: is kind of a restart for a lot of people,

510
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: which I think can can be an interesting It's an

511
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 1: interesting time and even his history it is so crazy.

512
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 1: None of us have been through this, so we're all

513
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: just taking it step by step together. UM, but I

514
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: think a lot of people need to embrace it and

515
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 1: try and figure out a way, you know, to to

516
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: help people and to become the person that they want

517
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: to become. Yeah, because as you said, like if we

518
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: break it all down, there's one thing that's been very

519
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: clear through any type of trauma, as you said with

520
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: the Teddy Bears and the gifts and UH calls and

521
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: then also with this with the support, is we're definitely

522
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: not alone. There's other people out there, UM that I

523
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,479
Speaker 1: want to love us and want to be there for us.

524
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 1: We just have to be willing to accept it, to

525
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: maybe ask or to reach out to others to do

526
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: the same. Hey, Blake, thanks for UH for sharing all

527
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 1: of this, UM, thank you for allowing us to kind

528
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: of probe into a place that I know is a

529
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: little uncomfortable and and probably si still hard to talk about,

530
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: and then has caused a lot of change in your

531
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,959
Speaker 1: life and the community that you grew up in. UH.

532
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: Let's take a break and get a drink of water.

533
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: Will come back, UH to start talking about you and

534
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: your love life. After the break. All right, Well, now, Blake,

535
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: we know the traumatic things that happened at your high school.

536
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: But I want to know, like what kind of high

537
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 1: school kid you are? Like, what who did you run with? Well,

538
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: I mean so popular, So the quarterback, I mean yeah,

539
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: I was like the quarterback of the quarterback. Yeah, I

540
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: was like the quarterback and all that, and sophomore year

541
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: I was a starting quarterback. But like, my school is

542
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: weird though, because it was so small that there weren't

543
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 1: like because we all grew up together, so we all

544
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: knew each other. Like obviously in high school a little

545
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: different who you sit with at lunch if you will,

546
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 1: you know, I mean technically I guess I was like

547
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: the cool table. But there really wasn't like a bad tape,

548
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: you know, like we didn't have bad kids, good kids.

549
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: It was kind of a weird thing in a small town.

550
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: How big was your Actually, that's really nice. I had

551
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 1: five hundred per grade? Yeah, so pretty big. Then what

552
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 1: about you? I was I had four hundred per grade? Uh,

553
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: and it's a small town. Yeah, my high school experiences wild.

554
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: But Blake, we gotta throw the football around some time.

555
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: From quarterbacks. I saw your I commented the other day

556
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: when you were throwing the balls. Oh you were a quarterback. Yeah,

557
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: trying trying, my hartist to still have lived back my

558
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: golden years as I sleep on my fiance's and my

559
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 1: fiance's parents ask you to eat their food. I've been

560
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: down in Nashville, Tennessee now for about two weeks. Um.

561
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: We literally all seven of us have quarantined inside this house.

562
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,719
Speaker 1: So it's like it's funny everything seven or seventeen seven.

563
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 1: There's seven of us, but it's funny, Blake. Our fans

564
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: love it. I love it is Like, actually I've talked

565
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: about it. We've like turned into high schoolers all over again,

566
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: because all of a sudden, we're like freaking out our parents,

567
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: like we're eating their food, We're sleeping on their couch.

568
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 1: Like this whole thing has been wild. Every day. It's like, mom,

569
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: can you give me a girl cheese? I don't know

570
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: when I'm ever going to grow out of that. I

571
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: think it's when you you have kids of your own. Yeah, yeah,

572
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 1: I still don't think like, I don't think anybody's adult

573
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: until they have kids. I feel like, yeah, I don't

574
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: think so either. I completely agree like Jade and Tanner

575
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: are adults and Jared tonight, we're still with kids, Like

576
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 1: we're still going to sit in the backseat of the

577
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: car and my mom and dad are gonna drive. Okay,

578
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: So then where did you go to college? And did

579
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 1: you play high school and college? Did you play high

580
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: school college? Did you play quarterback in college? Uh? Yeah,

581
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: So I went to Hastings College. Uh. Small college in Nebraska.

582
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: I want to say, people like not, it's still pretty

583
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 1: like a big high school. That's like my high school.

584
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: It's like a big high school. But yeah, I played

585
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: football out there. I was recruited. So it's funny because

586
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: I can't believe, well some of the pictures have come out,

587
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: but I was accrued as a quarterback. Um played quarterback

588
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: for about year year and a half. Uh, and going

589
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: into spring training spring season of my sophomore year, we

590
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: got this badass Chowko quarterback and I just was not

591
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: good enough. So I went to the coach and I

592
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: was like, Coach, I'm never gonna play. Can I, you know,

593
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: do something else? He's like, yeah, actually, we love you. Know.

594
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: We you're an athlete and we think we can put

595
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: some weight on you, Like, do you want to be

596
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 1: a tight end? So I was like sure, and I

597
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: was up to two forty. When I was I was

598
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: a big boy. Um just eight like five chicken breasts

599
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: for lunch, you know, like huge steaks for dinner. I

600
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: was loving life. It was great. But yeah, I was

601
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: about to forty going into my senior year of college.

602
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: I was a big boy. I was like my neck

603
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 1: was like huge and yeah different Blake, definitely a different play.

604
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: How are you with the ladies throughout high school and college?

605
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: High school at two girlfriends um all through high school.

606
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: So college was an initiating time for me. So I

607
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 1: was shy. I was super shy growing up and in

608
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: high school. Um, college is kind of where I broke

609
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: out a little bit. But I wasn't a big man

610
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 1: on campus quote unquote anymore. So it was more of

611
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: a time. I think everybody in high schools like knew

612
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: me as like the quarterback and like that guy. But

613
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: then in college I got to kind of reinvent myself

614
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: because people didn't know me as that, and so I

615
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: liked it. That's what's so cool about college is that,

616
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 1: like all of a sudden, there are not clicks anymore.

617
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: You are a fresh person. As far as like your

618
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: rep goes, Yeah, And I wanted to break out of

619
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: a stereotypical athlete, like I wanted to break out of that.

620
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be that guy anymore because I

621
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: think a lot of people would only see me as that.

622
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: So college was school for me. I I took a

623
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: bunch of classes that I never would have ended up

624
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: getting two degrees, one in marketing and one in communication,

625
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 1: and I really broke out of my like probably the

626
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: sophomore years when I broke out of my shell, I

627
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: was still like super shy freshman year, the softwareyere. I

628
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: broke out of my shell and like, people didn't know

629
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: me as the jock. I was just that fun guy

630
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: on campus who like knew everybody, was friends to everybody,

631
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: in that kind of thing. So we see that you're

632
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: like pretty natural with the ladies. I mean everyone loved

633
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: Becca season. Girls loved you coming off Becca season, like

634
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: doing events with you and just seeing the reaction to

635
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: you was incredible. And then in Paradise, we obviously saw

636
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: that you know, you were a girl that a lot

637
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: of you were a guy that a lot of girls

638
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: had their eye on. And well we know that there

639
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: was drama that ensued and you didn't. Uh, you weren't

640
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: exactly the girl that a lot wanted to end up with.

641
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: Everybody was going like trying to make sure I didn't

642
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: end up with anybody. Like I think that was the

643
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: plane going into paradise, but there was an initial attraction

644
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 1: that many girls had. What is it about you? And

645
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: did you always have this power over women? I don't know.

646
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: I think I just I think I don't know, like

647
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to like I'm gonna like self describe

648
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: here and I'm gonna don't do it. Don't know. Um,

649
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 1: I think maybe I'm just Um, I think people are

650
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: comfortable around me. I guess I think I'm very Yeah,

651
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: I think I'm very like I don't know, self depgrading

652
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: and like I'm I don't think, like I don't take

653
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: myself seriously. Uh. And so I think people are just

654
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: comfortable around me. I guess I think that's actually pretty

655
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: good answer. Yeah, I think. And I'm all easy to

656
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: talk to. Yeah, And I think I'm always that person,

657
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: whether it be at like you know, like parties or

658
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: clubs or family reunions or what a house party is

659
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: that like want to make sure everybody's having a good time.

660
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: Want to make sure everybody's comfortable and everybody's there's nobody

661
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: left out. I think that's kind of who I am.

662
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: I guess. So then you do have a serious relationship

663
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: before the bat the Bachelorette, Yeah, I have. Um, I've

664
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: had so I haven't had that many girlfriends through through life. UM,

665
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: I think full four. I mean unless you count high

666
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: school be four. Um. I had one that I lived with,

667
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: uh data for two years, lived with her right out

668
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: of college, and then another one right about you know,

669
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: eight nine months before the Bachelorette that you know, it

670
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: was pretty serious and I thought was the one and

671
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: everything that didn't work out. So and that's when I

672
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: knew going into the bachelotte because I never really felt

673
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: like this is the one, this is it. I'm settling

674
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: down and getting married, and so going into the batchelde,

675
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: I knew I was capable of that. So it's like

676
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: an exciting time for me. I was like, Okay, I

677
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: can get there around like yes, this is it and

678
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: wait to get married. Kind of like oh, was gonna say,

679
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 1: you're very eager on the Bachelorette. You almost you kind

680
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: of you brought a lot of your past relationship into it.

681
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: I feel like, um, I don't know, possibly, but I

682
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: just think I don't know. I mean, but the fear

683
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 1: that that was over, the fear that like your other

684
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: relationship was over, kind of rolled over into the Bachelorette

685
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: when you were kind of like, I know this is it,

686
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: but like it needs to actually happen this time unlike

687
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: last time. Um. Maybe I guess I never really thought

688
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: of it like that, but no, I think I just

689
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: felt it that because I think when I'm one of

690
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: those people who, like, when I feel it, I feel

691
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: it like I'm not gonna beat around the bush, I

692
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: love hard and like I'm ready to go kind of thing.

693
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: And I think I'm the opposite when it comes to

694
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: like if I'm not really into somebody, I'm like scared

695
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: to maybe say it or break it off for that

696
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: kind of thing. But when I'm into somebody, I'm into somebody,

697
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: and it's yeah, I know it. You know. It's one

698
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: of those feelings. And I had that relationship before, and

699
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: I had that during the batcherette. I was like, let's

700
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: do this. You you come on to beckat season of

701
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: The Bachelorette, bringing in a lot of things that we

702
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: talked about not a lot of relationships, but some fairly

703
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: serious ones. Uh. You bring you know, coming from high

704
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: school being kind of uh the popular kid, the quarterback,

705
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: the good looking quarterback, to college where you still were

706
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: an athlete, very well known, very liked. Um. You then

707
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: have the moment where uh, you start having a full

708
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: time job. You had a great job, you were um

709
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: A what was your official title with Cores? I mean

710
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: basically an off premise sales Rety's your sales ref for

711
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 1: Cores coming onto the batchelorrette where you did fall for Becca? Uh?

712
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 1: And yes, out of respect for her and Garrett, Like,

713
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: we don't need to get into what that relationship fully

714
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: looked like, but what it did do and I remember

715
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: when I first met you is uh, it held a

716
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: lot of weight on your heart, like there was a

717
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 1: just a deep I don't want to speak for you.

718
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: What was your relationship like with Becca as it ended,

719
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: and what were your feelings for her leading you into

720
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: that next season, which is where get into some of

721
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: the details of where maybe things went wrong right or

722
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: however you want to process it. Um, I's gonna think

723
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: back now. So I think I had a unique everybody

724
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: has a unique experience in the match. You know, in

725
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 1: that show, everybody kind of has different levels of the

726
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: relationship with the lead or whatnot. But I think mine

727
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: was interesting because I you know, we clicked pretty much immediately,

728
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 1: and I remember being one night, you know, so you know,

729
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: there was a moment we had and I remember laying

730
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 1: in Ben being like, oh, like, oh no, I'm gonna

731
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: fall for this girl. This is gonna be really hard

732
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: for me, um, because it was fast for me. We're

733
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: like other people, like, I know, Jason had a very

734
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: late connection with her, you know, Um, so like I

735
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: had one of the ones early connection. So it made

736
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: that journey very hard for me because I knew I

737
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: was into her and I had to watch other people

738
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: date her if you will, uh. And you know towards

739
00:35:54,400 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: the ends, um, I mean, I guess the asked two

740
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: weeks or incredibly difficult for me because I knew that

741
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: I was into her, in love with her. Um. The

742
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: one thing I always respect about Beca is that I

743
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: think she gave you know, everybody time uh, and she

744
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 1: really was able to ah in those was what I'm

745
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: looking for in those moments when she was with us,

746
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: she was with us, she wasn't thinking aboutnybody she was

747
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 1: in those moments. Uh. And yeah, it was very hard

748
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: at the end. I think people could see that in

749
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 1: the Maldives. It was very hard for me. But at

750
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: the same time, I was never angry at Becka, you know,

751
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 1: never angry at Garrett or any of that kind of thing. Uh.

752
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: She made the decision she felt was right for her,

753
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: and so I'll never ever, you know, being angry at

754
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: her for that. So I backtrack for a minute. How

755
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: did you get on the show? Yeah? I was nominated

756
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 1: by my sister and my mom. Uh, and then it

757
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: was like in October and then it filmed in March,

758
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: like six months worth of going through that whole process,

759
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 1: you know how it is. So yeah, I hate them

760
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 1: and love them for nominating me for the show. So

761
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: I remember coming back. I remember landing in Denver, you know,

762
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 1: calling my family being like, let's me to my place

763
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: and let's talk. And they all came in, and I

764
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: remember my mom being almost like wanting to apologize because

765
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: I was heartbroken, and she was like, oh my god,

766
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 1: I did this to you, and she's like, I nominated you.

767
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: You know. It's kind of funny, Like I remember watching

768
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: that finale in the weeks leading up to it, and

769
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: being like, I know she's supposed to be with Garrett,

770
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,959
Speaker 1: but I think I need her to be with Blake

771
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: because I don't know how this guy's gonna get through it.

772
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's gonna get through I've never

773
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 1: seen somebody like this head over heels on the show

774
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: like truly you there was like a frenzy about you.

775
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: I was like, this man has to leave with her.

776
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: That was yes, and like I was, you know, I

777
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: was very in love and like like I said, it

778
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 1: was imagine like week three is when I was like,

779
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 1: oh my god, like this girl's awesome. I could get,

780
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 1: you know, really get, you know, really be in this.

781
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: And it just built and built and built and built

782
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: and built. And by the end, you know, I had

783
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: been two months or whatever it was and watching other

784
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: people data it's just finally was like, oh my god,

785
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 1: I handle this anymore. You know, it's not an easy

786
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: imagine watching the girl with another man. It's not fun,

787
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: not a good time. So the the note to take

788
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 1: from all of this right now and getting to know you,

789
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: and there's a common theme here is one thing that

790
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: you have done well if there is a definition of

791
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: well from it is you. We have seen in the

792
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 1: last few years of you being a part of this

793
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: experience some of your highest highs in your lowest lows,

794
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: and we have seen it like it's for you. Uh.

795
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: These moments in this experience have been some of the

796
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 1: most um impactful moments in your life. Like we have

797
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: been a part of this with you. Uh. And I've

798
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: I asked all these questions about you know, Becca, because Uh,

799
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: A lot of the audience doesn't realize how real sometimes

800
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: it is. But the breakup with Becca was a real

801
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: breakup for you. Yeah, very real break up for me. Uh.

802
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: There's a lot of I remember in the moment, there

803
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 1: was a lot of confusion for me. Um, I knew.

804
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember reading back my diary, and I

805
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: remember my journal, and I remember I mentioned Garrett a lot.

806
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 1: I knew that they had a really strong connection, but

807
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: it was still at the end there I still thought

808
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: it was gonna be me. Uh, and I will never forget.

809
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: In the the next morning after the proposal, you know,

810
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: I was leaving on the boat. I remember it was

811
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 1: early in the morning and the sun was coming up.

812
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: I remember looking at that island and being like, you

813
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: know Garrett and I knew Garreton Becker still on the

814
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: island obviously, and I remember just being like, oh my god,

815
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 1: Like it was like one of those It was just

816
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: a weird moment where I looked at like my life

817
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 1: will never be the same, you know. It was like

818
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: my life. I was like, my life could have taken

819
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: such a different turn at that point, you know, I

820
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 1: could have been engaged on the island and the Maldives

821
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 1: and now I'm leaving heartbroken alone, you know, And so

822
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: it was a Yeah, it was a strange time. And

823
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 1: then having to keep all of that secret, Like I

824
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: don't think that people understand how hard it is, you know,

825
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 1: and you're one of the F two's. They're like, you

826
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: have to keep it everything quiet. You can't talk to

827
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: your friends. The only people you can really talk to

828
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: your family, you know. Um, so it was really hard

829
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 1: to get there. Yeah, how long did that like depression last? Uh? Well,

830
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: I mean luckily I got home and literally two weeks

831
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 1: later they show started air. So that was really nice.

832
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: It was like let's do this kind of thing. Um,

833
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: watching back the season, Uh, it was strangely therapeutic, like

834
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: it's a weird feeling to watch yourself or yeah, it's

835
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: a weird thing to watch yourself fall in love. But

836
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: then also I watched Garrett and Becca's relationship, like I

837
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: was one of the one who I did watch every

838
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: moment because I wanted to find answers and I want

839
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,280
Speaker 1: to figure out why it wasn't me and it was Garrett.

840
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,720
Speaker 1: Um not necessarily think there was like this one moment

841
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,760
Speaker 1: or this one thing that happened, but seeing how strong

842
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 1: their connection was, um, in a weird way, it helped

843
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: because I wanted her to be happy, and then you know,

844
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: I want to Garrett to be happy. But I'll never

845
00:40:55,280 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: forget the uh yeah finale, like the after fun rose. Uh.

846
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: It wasn't actually the my conversation with her that kind

847
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: of did it for me to close the book. It

848
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: was actually seeing how happy her and Garrett were on

849
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 1: that couch and I was like, okay. I was like

850
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 1: it's over, it's done. Time to move on with my life.

851
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 1: So and and you moved on and you did uh

852
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: it like we're gonna take one break here, uh and

853
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: when we come back, if you can just spend the

854
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: break kind of thinking through Um, this breakup with Becca

855
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 1: led you into a season of not being on a show.

856
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: You're kind of in an in between season. This obviously

857
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: was a time that a lot of stuff happened. You

858
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: had people flocking to you. As Ashley's mentioned, you had

859
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: still Uh you're recovering from a broken heart. Uh, you

860
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: were thrown into a whole new world that you know

861
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: involves celebrity and being noticed and being sought after. Uh.

862
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 1: When we come back, I want to hear uh some

863
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 1: of those emotions and those feelings which led you to

864
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: then stage coach. But before we do, let's take a

865
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: break back with Blake Hurtzman. Uh, Ashley, you have a

866
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: question for Blake kind of in this in between season

867
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: that will lead us to get to the point where

868
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: kind of where Blake started to mess up. Okay, so

869
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:27,399
Speaker 1: you get your closure ish in July, and then you think,

870
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: probably you're shoeing for the Bachelor. Everyone thought you were

871
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: going to be the bachelor. Jason did get a little

872
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: bit of steam there, but it was between the two

873
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 1: of you guys for sure. And then all of a sudden,

874
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 1: out of the blue, one of your really close friends, Colton,

875
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: gets the title, and you're like, Okay, wait, I thought

876
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 1: I had a way to pick myself back up, and

877
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: I don't. So now I just am like I can't

878
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,919
Speaker 1: imagine just having that heightened emotion and you know, all

879
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 1: that popularity and all of a sudden you're like, oh, man, um,

880
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 1: I don't I don't have it or anymore. What am

881
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: I gonna do? How that chapter of your life go?

882
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: Uh yeah? So kind of I spoke to like how

883
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: I was being up to you kind of have to

884
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 1: like seclude yourself. You can't really go out because people

885
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: are gonna ask questions. So all during the airing of

886
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: the show, I was kind of like isolated and not

887
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: really going out. And then I had a couple of

888
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: months where they were trying to figure out who the

889
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: Bachelor was. I was isolated and not going out. So

890
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: it's probably lit almost a year. It's almost a year

891
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 1: where my life was completely flips upside down during the filming,

892
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 1: the airing, then the in between on the Bachelor. So

893
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: I was like in this weird place where I was

894
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: like wasn't living Like I was just not living my

895
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: normal life. It wasn't being myself because I was kind

896
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: of trying to like isolate myself and Um, then I mean, yes,

897
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: I knew it was between me and Jason, like I

898
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 1: mean I thought it was between me and Jason. Um,

899
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be Jason thousand percent. I

900
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: never but I never really let myself be like, oh,

901
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the Bachelor, like I thought it was

902
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 1: gonna be Jason. Um. It was definitely a surprise when

903
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: Colton got it. But we also had talked a lot

904
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: Me Jason, Colton, we were friends, and you know, we

905
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: had a group chat going like who'd you talk to today,

906
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: who'd you talk to? What was your meetings? Right? You know,

907
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: So it was kind of funny. We you know, I

908
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: don't think the producers ever had anything like that. And

909
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: I remember they actually group texted all three of us

910
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: together at one point. We're like, screw it, We're just

911
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: gonna tell you all its news at the same time

912
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, they were like we're gonna

913
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: have an answer fight for you three by the end

914
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: of the week, that kind of thing, like they were

915
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: like skipping up. Yeah, they had just given up there,

916
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: like if we know you guys are talking, so we're

917
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 1: just gonna talk to all three of you. Um, but yeah,

918
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: I got the call, um, and you know, they told

919
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,720
Speaker 1: me Colton was was Bachelor, And it was a weird

920
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: thing where like what now, Um, I think the show

921
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: has gotten better, and I know they're trying to get

922
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: better at not really at kind of helping the transition

923
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 1: from the show into real life. I know that's something

924
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: gonna work on because I think it's really hard when

925
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 1: you just kind of like sink or swim and like

926
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: figure it out, like your life's about to be flipped

927
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 1: upside down. People are gonna try and take advantage of you. Um.

928
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: But I think they're doing a better job with that.

929
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: I will give them that. Um. But yeah, I wasn't

930
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 1: that weird moment where it's like, okay, what now. I

931
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: was still working. I worked for eight months after the

932
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: show at Cours. I was still working, but I was

933
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:11,320
Speaker 1: also gone a couple of times a week, um, doing interviews,

934
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: doing appearances and all of that with you know, the

935
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: attention that comes with it. So it was a weird

936
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: time in my life for sure. It's all a weird world. Um,

937
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 1: but it brings us here. I mean, so blake. You

938
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: don't know what you're getting into, you don't know how

939
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: to pursue being the bachelor. If there is a pursuit

940
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: to being the bachelor, and we don't know yet if

941
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,800
Speaker 1: that's good or bad, but you're getting hounded with attention

942
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 1: from all different sides. I was with you at my

943
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 1: Heart music fest, Ashley and I were and we went

944
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: out together one night. Uh, and it was wild the

945
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: attention you're getting and the energy you had. I'm the

946
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 1: same age as you, and I was exhausted by the night.

947
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: Eight months. Yeah, I was like, you're going out now.

948
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: I couldn't get over it. But what it did is,

949
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: and I said this earlier to set us up for

950
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: this question, because you're heartbroken by Becca, you're disappointed a

951
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 1: bit by not being a bachelor, or however you want

952
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: to explain that you're getting more attention than ever. You're

953
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what to do with it because

954
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 1: you're still working a job Monday through Friday, and that

955
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: in between season between not knowing knowing you're not the

956
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. You we're very single, to

957
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: put it lightly, um, walk us through that, Walk us

958
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: through what your thought process was, where you trying to

959
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: have fun, where you not understanding the consequences like this,

960
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,760
Speaker 1: All of that season of life set you up for

961
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: what became a lot of backlash that we'll talk about

962
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: in a bit. But this, this is this is real.

963
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 1: This is the real world to you, and you're making

964
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 1: real world decisions with real humans. Walk us through that. Yeah,

965
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 1: I mean always it was a very strange time when

966
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: women were throwing themselves at me. Um, And it was

967
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 1: it was a weird time where I'm not gonna sit

968
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: here and act like I Yeah, I was single, I

969
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: was single. I had fun, but like also I never

970
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 1: and I want I can't express this enough. I didn't

971
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: play with hearts like I was always very honest. I

972
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 1: was always very honest. Um. Yeah, it was a weird time.

973
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: And I you know, I'm not the first person imagination

974
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 1: to do this kind of thing. Um. In fact, I

975
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 1: think most do. Um. But yeah, I mean it was

976
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: a weird time where I was not only single, but

977
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 1: I was heartbroken. Uh. And I definitely think that I

978
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: found comforts you know, and other things and you know,

979
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 1: going out and having fun. Um. And it was a

980
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: weird time. And it's something that obviously it's a point

981
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: in life where you like learn, you know, you learn

982
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: a lot and you grow and that I didn't go

983
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: on Paradise that year, So it was that weird moment

984
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: where I had even longer, you know, and girls coming

985
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 1: up had a year of Paradise. Yeah, but girls coming

986
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: off Golden Season. Yeah, it was the quote unquote because

987
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: Jason was wiped up. It was like the quote unquote

988
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 1: a guy. And so yeah, they they wanted to be

989
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 1: with me because for the multiple reasons. But like, yeah,

990
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 1: so it was very hard with that too, because everybody's

991
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: tighting my d m s and it was crazy. Did

992
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: you ever feel like it got to your head looking

993
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: back in hindsight? I mean, this experience changes who you are,

994
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 1: no matter what your night one, you're f two, whatever

995
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: you want to call it, paradise everything, It changes who

996
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 1: you are, of course. But like I'd be lying to

997
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: if five years ago I was a single man and

998
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 1: two beautiful women wanted to have no strings attached one

999
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: night stands at a music festival, I wouldn't have done it.

1000
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: I'd be lying to you like in that sense, like, yeah,

1001
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: I mean, this experience changes you absolutely. Um. But yeah,

1002
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not gonna sit here in life because

1003
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of a cop out to be like,

1004
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: you know, I lost myself, Like I think that's a

1005
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: cop out, you know, So I don't want to lie

1006
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: anymore and over I'm over the fakeness of everything. So

1007
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: we've we've kind of talked with multiple people in depth,

1008
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: and one thing that I'm constantly learning in my life

1009
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 1: because it was just a different way that I ever

1010
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: again saw the world and not no moral ground I'm

1011
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,359
Speaker 1: standing on here. But the show has talked a lot

1012
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: about sex recently, you know, people who are choosing to

1013
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: stay absinent, people who are exploring their sexuality and more

1014
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: open about you know, what sex means to them. Um,

1015
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 1: We've had guests come on this U on our almost

1016
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 1: famous podcast and and talk about how uh they do

1017
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: podcast exploring uh, you know, partnership and what that looks like.

1018
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 1: I'm learning what I'm saying all this is like I'm

1019
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 1: learning more and more that there everybody isn't entitled to

1020
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: their opinion. But the part that affected people the most,

1021
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: that you hit on on was that you were accused

1022
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 1: during this time in your life of leading people on,

1023
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: of playing with hearts, of uh, manipulating situation. And you're

1024
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: saying that you never did that. But why was that

1025
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: the perception? Why is that the story that got put

1026
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 1: out there during this kind of limbo season, because that

1027
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,399
Speaker 1: was a good story, that makes good TV, that makes

1028
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,359
Speaker 1: a good narrative, the man who everybody loves falling off

1029
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: the top, you know. And I'm not gonna sit here

1030
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 1: and act like I didn't make mistakes. I've made mistakes.

1031
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:19,320
Speaker 1: Everybody does. Mine just happened to be in front of America.

1032
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: But I mean, you saw very very honest about how

1033
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 1: you know that night and how it felt. And they

1034
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: were very sure to tell me that it wasn't you know,

1035
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: anything other than sex. Um, can you clarify the night? Stage? Okay,

1036
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 1: so there's there's Calin at stage coach. Was there another

1037
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 1: bachelor girl at stage coach besides I mean Christina? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,

1038
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,320
Speaker 1: Like we both made it very it was very clear

1039
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: what it was, um, you know. And so I think

1040
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: that was the frustration when I was watching the show

1041
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 1: back is yeah, the way it was, you know, the

1042
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: way the story slipped a little bit, not a lot

1043
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 1: of it, a lot of it, And so that was

1044
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 1: really pressure. I think Blake. Part of this gets heavy

1045
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: and weird and confusing because there was so many storylines

1046
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 1: um happening uh leading up into The Bachelor in Paradise.

1047
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 1: Just for anybody out there listening, and I know you've

1048
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: done it a hundred times before. I don't think we

1049
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: need an exact timeline, but just a summary of what

1050
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: that whole concert felt like to you, Like was it

1051
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: a big party and a lot of things going around

1052
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: in circles and all of a sudden you find yourself,

1053
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: um talking to dating, sleeping with somebody you didn't expect,

1054
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: or was there conversation beforehand? Uh? And then we can

1055
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 1: leave the stagecounts conversation kind of if if ash doesn't

1056
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: have any follow ups. I just want to get a

1057
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: better idea of what picture was being done here so

1058
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 1: that we all understand the story a little bit better. Um.

1059
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like kind of you everybody kind

1060
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: of heard it, but I mean I don't overheard it.

1061
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 1: Turned it to meytime. But yeah, I mean at stage coach,

1062
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,279
Speaker 1: it's music festival, Like you know, everybody's having fun. I

1063
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: think that was the funniest part about everything. Like this

1064
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: wasn't like a random like I don't know, like night.

1065
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's like a music festival is a full weekend. Um, yeah,

1066
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 1: it is. Everybody's having fun, everybody's you know, living life.

1067
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: And yeah, for Friday night, um, four am, Yeah, text

1068
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: messages happened. Um, Christina came over. And then the next night, yeah,

1069
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 1: four am some text message of exchange and Caitlin came

1070
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 1: over to refresh the audience's memory. You did have a

1071
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: brief thing with Christina coming off of the Bachelorette, so

1072
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: that fall and then that fizzled out, which I think

1073
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 1: both of you agreed that that fizzled out. Then you

1074
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: started talking to Kalin later on that year. I saw

1075
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: both of them at Stage Coach. Then you believe that

1076
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 1: it was clear to both of them that it is

1077
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: just a hook up thing and that it was more

1078
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:05,640
Speaker 1: of like a weekend thing. And then you tried to

1079
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: pursue Hannah g Um, thinking that you'd be dating her

1080
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: in Paradise. He went down to Alabama to have a

1081
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 1: weekend with her. No, she came out to l a

1082
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: like six hours, wasn't I wasn't bringing about six hours yet,

1083
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 1: so it was just a quick trip. Yeah. I went

1084
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 1: to tell her about Stage Coach. Yeah. Oh, because you

1085
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 1: guys were talking to before you were talking and I

1086
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 1: just didn't want her to be blindsided down there. I

1087
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,240
Speaker 1: didn't want That's why I told Caitlin, I didn'tant anybody

1088
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:33,839
Speaker 1: to be blindsided down there. I wanted to make sure,

1089
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I just didn't want anybody to be blindsided.

1090
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure everybody, you know, kind of new.

1091
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: And me and Hannah never and we talked about this before.

1092
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: Me and Hannah never agreed like, hey, I'm gonna date,

1093
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 1: You're gonna da an me. We both were both excited

1094
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: about each other, don't get me wrong, but it never

1095
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:52,879
Speaker 1: was that the case. Ben, You have anything to add

1096
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: before I go further on the timeline, No, I mean no, Um,

1097
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: I don't. I think I think all this like even

1098
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: now I sit here, Blake, and as a friend, I'm like, man,

1099
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:06,760
Speaker 1: I know you've had to talk about this a thousand

1100
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: times and I know, um, this is frustrating, and I

1101
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: know it gets defensive. I think the hardest part here

1102
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: and it will always be the hardest part for you,

1103
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 1: is it's so complex. Like I just think, like, I

1104
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,720
Speaker 1: don't know how you fit this in in that period

1105
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 1: of time. I think everybody's kind of joked about that, like,

1106
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 1: how do you have so much time. The second part

1107
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: is like, it's just complex. It's a complex story with

1108
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:31,919
Speaker 1: a lot of different moving parts. But you know your

1109
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: truth is this, and and you know we'd have to

1110
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 1: talk to everybody else involved to get their truth, but

1111
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 1: your truth is, Hey, you didn't play with any hearts.

1112
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: There was a mutual understanding between all parties involved. Um,

1113
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 1: nobody was. Nobody felt misled. And and that's why you

1114
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 1: decided to go on Paradise because you felt like everybody

1115
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:52,279
Speaker 1: was in the clear, which you know is why you

1116
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 1: went to tell Hannah G in person that this is

1117
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 1: what happened. And if you choose to go under Paradise,

1118
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,280
Speaker 1: I want you to know ahead of time. I almost

1119
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: you am leading somewhere with this to a more relevant question. So,

1120
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 1: in Paradise, you asked Taitia out on a date, even

1121
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: though I think you had mentally planned on asking Hannah J.

1122
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yes? And you recently admitted this on

1123
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 1: your Instagram story because your contract expired last month. Yeah,

1124
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 1: I mean I yeah, I planned to take like I got.

1125
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was going to get the first

1126
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: stake card. That was a complete surprise to me. Um,

1127
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 1: but I remember getting it and being like, you know,

1128
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 1: you go to your I T and they talked about

1129
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 1: who you're gonna take, blah blaad. I was like, Hannah,

1130
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, we got up left the room,

1131
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: and I don't want to talk too much about this,

1132
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,360
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I was sat down and it

1133
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: was my decision. I wasn't forced to do anything. Um.

1134
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: But at the time, you know, I felt that people,

1135
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 1: you know, I trusted a lot of people, but they

1136
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 1: had already kind of figured out a narrative for me,

1137
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 1: and if I was to maybe take Hannah, the narrative

1138
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: might have been a little different for them. And Tasha

1139
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 1: is an amazing woman, And honestly, I feel the worst

1140
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: kind of like Tasia was brought into drama that she

1141
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: didn't need to be in, Like I brought her into

1142
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: drama by take her on that first date, you know

1143
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it wasn't fair to her. Um.

1144
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just you know, I was about an hour,

1145
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: um I was convinced to take to take Tasha, And

1146
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: that really is where everything started snowballing, and it was

1147
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 1: just a horrible experience. Yet I think that's everybody's like

1148
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 1: initial question was just like, but what how did he pick?

1149
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 1: Why did he ask Tasha out that if I could

1150
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,359
Speaker 1: go back, like I I think one of the hard

1151
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 1: things about coming up having a good experience on the

1152
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 1: Bachelor bauch shread is that you're very naive. You know,

1153
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: you're very naive going into Paradise, and I, you know,

1154
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: I was, I was like, you know, these producers are

1155
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: making good points and they have my best interest at heart,

1156
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: and then yeah, I guess the rest is history. But yeah,

1157
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 1: you also said on the same Instagram story that you

1158
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 1: feel a little bit of PTSD from Bachelor in Paradise.

1159
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 1: I mean I still yeah, I still yeah. I mean

1160
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: just talking about this is getting me wound up my heart,

1161
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 1: beating my palms and sweating like it's it was a

1162
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 1: really rough experience, and it was I mean, it was

1163
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 1: just a hard time in my life to have, you know,

1164
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 1: not only when you was on the beach, um having

1165
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 1: everybody you know gang up on me and bully me,

1166
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 1: you know, and kick me while I was down constantly. Um,

1167
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 1: but like afterwards, to a lot of people I trusted

1168
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: did the same thing, you know, and it was just

1169
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:32,479
Speaker 1: I felt very a long, very very very long during

1170
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: all that Ben, you were with him, Um, I mean

1171
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: with him as a guider throughout that time. I know

1172
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:43,400
Speaker 1: that you confided a lot in him, Blake, Ben, can

1173
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:47,480
Speaker 1: you tell us from your perspective how you saw blake

1174
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: soul while The Bachelor Paradise was airing? Yeah, I mean

1175
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 1: I think it's hard. It's hard because at one level,

1176
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: you know, you're a friend, and you want to give

1177
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: your friend, like I would anybody, uh act, what you

1178
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 1: hope is truthful advice. And so like some of some

1179
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 1: of the stuff that my friends have said to me

1180
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 1: that's been the most helpful have also been the ones

1181
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: that the things that have hurt me the most. Uh So,

1182
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: like if my buddy is out there, uh making decisions

1183
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,560
Speaker 1: that I don't agree with, like I we have the

1184
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: relationship that I would tell him, hey, like you should stop, Um,

1185
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 1: you should not do this. And the the hard part

1186
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 1: for me or I mean, you know, and Blake is

1187
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 1: a friend of mine, a legitimate friend of mine, and

1188
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 1: we also share this experience. A hard part for me

1189
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: is you're speaking to somebody that one that is this

1190
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: has already happened. So that's one issue because you can't

1191
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: really take it back. So you're trying to more console.

1192
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 1: The second is it is being done in the public

1193
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 1: eye and being judged by the public um Blake. I

1194
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 1: think if I look back on that though, there isn't

1195
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 1: you know, I have to have because of the podcast

1196
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 1: like and other things, like, I share the opinion that

1197
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: I don't think it was great decisions. I don't think

1198
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 1: Stage Coach was probably anything good for you. I don't

1199
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 1: think the things that happened at Stage Coach helped you

1200
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 1: as a man or just helped your life. But they happened,

1201
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 1: and so you move on and we figure out how

1202
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 1: to process it. I think if I remember right going

1203
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 1: back to you and after this, I want to kind

1204
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 1: of get into how it affected your head. But was

1205
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: the reaction from everybody else, the people especially on the show.

1206
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: Remember you came back and you said, hey, this is

1207
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 1: a good like some stuff happened, like this is hard

1208
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: on me, but I had the support of my peers

1209
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 1: there who like helped me along the way. When you

1210
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 1: watched it back, that wasn't the case, and that wasn't

1211
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: the so of course, like you know, the public scrutiny

1212
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:44,919
Speaker 1: and like the comments, but that hurts, don't get me wrong,

1213
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 1: that hurts, um, but you know, when you're in the

1214
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 1: public eye, you kind of learned to let those roll

1215
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: off as much as possible, will offer back. But it

1216
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 1: was watching these people who were so nice, like at

1217
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: times at the beginning it was rough, they were nice

1218
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 1: to my face, and then watching the things they were

1219
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 1: saying in interviews and the things they were saying um

1220
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 1: to each other in group chats or whatever, you know,

1221
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: UM down on that beach, it was not only was

1222
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: a shocking but it hurts so so bad. And a

1223
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: lot of them have apologized. A lot of them have apologized, UM,

1224
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 1: you know, and I try not I know, we know.

1225
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 1: I mean, actually you've been there. That environment is very hard,

1226
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 1: and that environment caused you to say things you don't

1227
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 1: necessarily mean um, And so I try to I try

1228
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: to keep that in mind, like I know how bad

1229
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 1: that environment can be, and I know that you're almost

1230
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: you're asked to bully and it's and I try and

1231
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 1: keep that high. When I when I talked to some

1232
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 1: of these people when they have apologized, and I was

1233
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 1: angry for a long time. I was frustrated, but like

1234
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 1: I couldn't keep that in my heart, Like and I'm

1235
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 1: still working through it. I'm still going through to therapy,

1236
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 1: I'm still working through a lot of my frustrations. Um.

1237
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 1: But like eventually I was just like, I gotta forgive

1238
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 1: these people because I can't live with this hate in

1239
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 1: my heart anymore, you know. And so still stuff are

1240
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 1: working through. But are there still are there people that's

1241
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:06,360
Speaker 1: still don't forgive you for for what? I don't forgive

1242
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 1: me for stage coach, or give you for the text messages.

1243
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 1: They still haven't gotten over your moves in Paradise. No, No,

1244
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: I think well maybe Dean and Caitlin. Um, maybe that's

1245
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 1: the only two Blake. Um. I know it's hard to

1246
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 1: it's hard to communicate I think, the waight and of

1247
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 1: of this, But like it wasn't during this time in

1248
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: your life and even today, I mean it has been

1249
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 1: that long ago where like there were a lot of

1250
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 1: tears shed. Um. There were tears shed not only in

1251
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: your social media that obviously became um kind of viral,

1252
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 1: there was also a tear shed in private with your

1253
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:55,320
Speaker 1: friends and your family. Um, this took a toll on you.

1254
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: You know, all of this we start It's interestingly if

1255
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: you kind of see the the story of this podcast.

1256
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 1: You know, we start with uh some trauma. Uh. We

1257
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 1: kind of go into like some more funny things like

1258
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 1: how cool you were in high school and college. Uh,

1259
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,440
Speaker 1: your your great job, and kind of that you were

1260
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: the life of the party, always wanting everybody have a

1261
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 1: good time and getting attention from ladies, and being on

1262
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 1: this show that rocked your world but also broke your

1263
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 1: heart like that. Your your story here has always been complex,

1264
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 1: and now we get to a place where it almost

1265
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 1: just feels heavy, and it's felt like it's it's been

1266
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: heavy for a while now. Um, I want to take

1267
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 1: a break here, uh, and I would love to come

1268
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 1: back and talk to you a little bit about not

1269
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 1: only were your heads at today, the lessons you've learned

1270
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,320
Speaker 1: about mental health and how you kind of have worked

1271
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 1: through that for anybody out there listening, and also yourself. Uh.

1272
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,280
Speaker 1: And then finally, I know that you're pursuing a new

1273
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:54,520
Speaker 1: career uh that uh, I think would be really nice

1274
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 1: to share about here. On the Almost Famous in Death

1275
01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 1: podcast with Blake Courtsman, We've been talking to Blake Courtsman

1276
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 1: about a lot. I mean, we've started in high school

1277
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 1: that's led us up through his first job, high school, college, um,

1278
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 1: and then onto the Bachelorette, which led him to a

1279
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:20,040
Speaker 1: little bit of disappointment not being the bachelor, then to

1280
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise. Uh. A year after being on the Bachelorette.

1281
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 1: We all know Blake's story and Bachelor in Paradise. We

1282
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: don't need to go into details of who the women

1283
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: were and kind of all the storylines that played out there.

1284
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 1: We've we've heard it a hundred times. If you haven't,

1285
01:03:35,320 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can google it, um and and everybody

1286
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 1: has been either hurt by it. Uh. Some feel like

1287
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 1: they've been hurt from the experience, others have been hurt

1288
01:03:46,520 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 1: by kind of the second hand opinions and criticism. H Blake,

1289
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 1: what has hurt you the most? And I say this

1290
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 1: not to like, hey, I know you've experienced pain in this. No,

1291
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, your pain has been very public, like

1292
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 1: your struggles with mental health have been h have been

1293
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 1: talked about often by yourself and others. What from this

1294
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 1: whole experience has hurt you the most? Uh? God, God,

1295
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 1: there's so much I think I and I've always been

1296
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: um a bit of you know, I think I just

1297
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: was very naive coming into this world. And I think

1298
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 1: the hardest part was seeing people I considered friends, um,

1299
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 1: you know, just throwing me under the bus for retweets,

1300
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 1: for likes, for pods, for you know, whatever they needed

1301
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 1: to keep you know, relevant or whatnot. Uh. And that

1302
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 1: was hard for me because I just think I even

1303
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 1: though I was told, you know, to expect that by

1304
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 1: a thousand people, I just still didn't think, um, that

1305
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 1: that was something that was going to happen. And one

1306
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 1: of the hardest parts to it all was how many

1307
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 1: people were on my side privately, how many people told

1308
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: me they would have done exactly what I did and

1309
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 1: that I did nothing wrong, and then in public doing no. Well,

1310
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 1: not necessarily some of them did the complete opposite, but

1311
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: a lot just we're kind of quiet on the whole thing.

1312
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 1: And it's a weird part. It's like, it's weird because

1313
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't expect in this world now, especially now I

1314
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:18,360
Speaker 1: know it a little bit better. It's hard to expect

1315
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,040
Speaker 1: people to stick their neck out for you, you know,

1316
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:23,280
Speaker 1: because they're risking their rip, they're risking their career, um,

1317
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 1: and I know that now, and so looking back, like

1318
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 1: it's hard to be like, why didn't you say anything?

1319
01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:31,280
Speaker 1: Because they were worried about their image. Um. But that

1320
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: was the hardest part was watching friends who I know,

1321
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,240
Speaker 1: people I considered friends saying privately they're on my side

1322
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:39,439
Speaker 1: and publicly not. That was very hard for me. Well, well,

1323
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: this is our moment to kind of stick our necks out.

1324
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 1: And you know, that's why we have this podcast, and

1325
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,120
Speaker 1: we want to hear the truth, right, because the truth

1326
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 1: gets hard to to sometimes see when all this is

1327
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:54,439
Speaker 1: going on. You know, we're watching on TV, we're still

1328
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 1: seeing glimpses on social media, we're hearing the opinions, uh

1329
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 1: from your peers, and I think when you do that,

1330
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:04,160
Speaker 1: you go, oh my, this must be true. But for you,

1331
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 1: you're saying, hey, like this is a lot harder to

1332
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 1: understand than what anybody saw. Um, and you were just

1333
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 1: wanting people to be there. Now that causes some mental

1334
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: health issues, right. I mean you came on your on

1335
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 1: your Instagram. I remember during that season you just like

1336
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 1: in tears, crying to the public, like really crying out loud,

1337
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:31,600
Speaker 1: like for help. And I mean I think I remember

1338
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:35,680
Speaker 1: advising you, um too. I don't think. I think we

1339
01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 1: talked it through and I was like, I don't know

1340
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 1: what you do here, like I don't know if this

1341
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 1: is smart to share, Like I know what kind of

1342
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 1: feels like you're outing the other people involved, but you're

1343
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 1: like you're just saying, like I just need to get

1344
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:48,800
Speaker 1: my story out there because I need to feel like

1345
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 1: less alone, right, yeah, I mean not only my Yeah,

1346
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 1: and I just I won't I'll just I get hearts

1347
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 1: like some people. Um, the whole text interesting, but like

1348
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 1: it's it's frustrating me because imagine the whole world was

1349
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 1: against me, like people had already decided like I was guilty,

1350
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:14,640
Speaker 1: Like there was nothing like I was guilty. And unfortunately

1351
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:16,360
Speaker 1: the show and I don't blame the show necessarily for

1352
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: not showing my side because I couldn't. Like when I

1353
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 1: was down there, I didn't you know, it wasn't like

1354
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 1: they edited my side out like I didn't because I

1355
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:25,240
Speaker 1: didn't know some of the things that were being said,

1356
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:29,440
Speaker 1: you know. Um, But so I just felt like I

1357
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:32,280
Speaker 1: had no choice, and I was like, listen, like I'll

1358
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: never understand how somebody can be angrier at the evidence,

1359
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:39,160
Speaker 1: you know, of the lies and the lies themselves. That's

1360
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:40,680
Speaker 1: just not something that I don't know if I'll ever

1361
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 1: be able to really comprehend. Um, but I at the

1362
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 1: same time, it's like I get like private mesters of

1363
01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: private mesters, but it's like same time, millions of people

1364
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 1: watched the show, you know, So I don't know. It

1365
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 1: was hard. It was a very difficult decision. And it's

1366
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,520
Speaker 1: it's not when I took lightly and it hurt. It

1367
01:07:56,600 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 1: hurt really bad at the time. UM, But it was

1368
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 1: something I felt like I had to do. What steps

1369
01:08:03,120 --> 01:08:07,360
Speaker 1: did you take after the show was aired to better

1370
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 1: your mental health after the show was Yeah, it was aired, uh,

1371
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:18,200
Speaker 1: enduring while it was airing. Um, you know, I took UM.

1372
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: First of all, I got off social media. UM, Like,

1373
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 1: I didn't post, I posted, I didn't I posted the

1374
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,120
Speaker 1: text messages, and then I didn't post again into the finale.

1375
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,479
Speaker 1: I just felt like I needed to remove myself from

1376
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 1: from that. UM. So I got off of that to therapy.

1377
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 1: Took a lot of therapy, leaned on friends, leaned on family, UM,

1378
01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:41,000
Speaker 1: and I still was really low. Um. It's hard when

1379
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:43,200
Speaker 1: you know you feel alone like that, and even I

1380
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:45,840
Speaker 1: know my family cares and my friends and everybody loves me,

1381
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:50,960
Speaker 1: but you're almost in You're in a weird state. Um.

1382
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,439
Speaker 1: You know when you're first of all, let me you start.

1383
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:57,920
Speaker 1: I was always one of those people who thought that anxiety,

1384
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 1: panic attacks, suppression was always something and you could just

1385
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:03,160
Speaker 1: quote unquote rubb dirt on and I always thought that

1386
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 1: it was kind of a made up thing for people

1387
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:12,880
Speaker 1: who uh needed, you know, attention, quote unquote you will

1388
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 1: Now I know that that is not the case, that

1389
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:20,840
Speaker 1: those are very very real. I remember I was depressed,

1390
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:24,439
Speaker 1: and I remember the every every day I was in

1391
01:09:24,439 --> 01:09:26,240
Speaker 1: bed for probably about three months. I remember everyday I'd

1392
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,519
Speaker 1: be like, tomorrow, I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna walk,

1393
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:30,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a job, Tomorrow is gonna do it.

1394
01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 1: And then I wake up and I couldn't do it.

1395
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:35,080
Speaker 1: I physically couldn't do it. I remember my mom coming

1396
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:36,720
Speaker 1: in and trying to drag me out of bed, and

1397
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 1: I physically couldn't do it. And I was just in

1398
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 1: a really bad spot. And I know what my your health,

1399
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 1: you know, starts decline, you start eating, crapping, and stall

1400
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 1: just a snowball um. And I was in a really

1401
01:09:47,439 --> 01:09:51,040
Speaker 1: bad spot and it took a long time to get

1402
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 1: out of that um. And still so, like I said,

1403
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 1: it's still something I'm working on. But I'm definitely a

1404
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 1: you know, way better spot than I was four or

1405
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 1: five months ago. But it's not something that you can

1406
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 1: cure overnighte in just tick time for sure. Uh. To

1407
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 1: close off this segment, um, and and thank you for

1408
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:16,120
Speaker 1: sharing this stuff. I think it cannot feel great, but

1409
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:19,200
Speaker 1: I hope that speaking about it over and over again,

1410
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 1: at some point, um, you know you you will be

1411
01:10:22,240 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 1: able to move forward, which you know I'd like to

1412
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:28,720
Speaker 1: know have you moved forward? Are you dating again? Um?

1413
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,760
Speaker 1: And to close up all this, like what did this

1414
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:34,120
Speaker 1: teach you? You know? Remember a headline back in the

1415
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:36,760
Speaker 1: day and I only say this like you Sorry, this

1416
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,400
Speaker 1: is gonna be harsh, but you've probably seen. It's like

1417
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 1: how the mighty have fallen? Like you know, you were

1418
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:43,760
Speaker 1: at the top, that people loved you. People, we're celebrating you,

1419
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,439
Speaker 1: and I still think people love you. Like I'm not

1420
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:48,760
Speaker 1: saying they don't like you're not You're not hated. Um,

1421
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,360
Speaker 1: but you did fall hard, like you fell and were

1422
01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:56,880
Speaker 1: humbled in in grand ways. What has all this taught you? Um?

1423
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:59,000
Speaker 1: This is your story man, Like this is the crazy

1424
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:00,720
Speaker 1: part about in depth, Like we just gone through most

1425
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:02,960
Speaker 1: of your story since you're in high school, and there's

1426
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,600
Speaker 1: details involved that we've skipped over, and there's things that

1427
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:08,040
Speaker 1: we didn't talk about in pains that we we never

1428
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 1: could approach here. But like your story in a and

1429
01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:16,519
Speaker 1: in a microcosm is now here talked about today. Where

1430
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:20,479
Speaker 1: are you at? Yeah, Um, like I said, it's still

1431
01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:22,360
Speaker 1: in therapy, you know, And I still have my moments,

1432
01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:27,040
Speaker 1: but I am you know, I have some trust issues now.

1433
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:29,400
Speaker 1: But at the same time, like I you just gotta

1434
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:30,760
Speaker 1: get to a point where you're like, Okay, I need

1435
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:32,920
Speaker 1: to get back out there. And you know, I am dating,

1436
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:37,120
Speaker 1: and I am at least open to meeting someone again

1437
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:38,800
Speaker 1: where I wasn't there for a long time. I think

1438
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,920
Speaker 1: I had a lot of walls up, uh, and I

1439
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:44,439
Speaker 1: am open to that. And you know, one of the

1440
01:11:44,439 --> 01:11:46,160
Speaker 1: obvious things I've learned through all of this, you know,

1441
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:48,080
Speaker 1: it's kind of who my who my real friends are,

1442
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:49,919
Speaker 1: and who I can lean on. But then more importantly,

1443
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,760
Speaker 1: like I think a lot of people, especially my generation,

1444
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:57,400
Speaker 1: our generation and you know the generation um before you

1445
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 1: know below us, Um, we kind of finds confidence and

1446
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:05,680
Speaker 1: find our self love through the eyes of others. And

1447
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:07,800
Speaker 1: I think I was definitely guilty of that. I think

1448
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:11,720
Speaker 1: I was someone who unless you know, I had a

1449
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:14,479
Speaker 1: junch people loving me like, I wasn't happy with myself.

1450
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 1: I didn't know who I was. And I think this

1451
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:18,920
Speaker 1: has taught me more to look instead of seeing people

1452
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:21,600
Speaker 1: seeing myself throw the people's eyes. Um, I'm be going

1453
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 1: to just look in the mirror and you know, and

1454
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:26,559
Speaker 1: find myself that way. Um. And I think that's huge

1455
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:28,120
Speaker 1: and I hope more people are able to do that,

1456
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,880
Speaker 1: especially now with social media and everything. You know, it

1457
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:32,519
Speaker 1: doesn't matter the amount of likes you have, you know,

1458
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:34,800
Speaker 1: or any of that kind of stuff now. So that's

1459
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:39,080
Speaker 1: something I'm grateful for for sure. Thanks. Thanks a lot, Blake.

1460
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:43,400
Speaker 1: Yeah all right, well let's talk about what's making you

1461
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:46,880
Speaker 1: happy these days, and that is your new career. You're

1462
01:12:46,920 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 1: doing a lot of dejaing. How did you get into that? Yeah?

1463
01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:54,400
Speaker 1: So kind of so I obviously, I mean, everybody loves

1464
01:12:54,439 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 1: me and I've always enjoyed. Like I said, I was

1465
01:12:57,360 --> 01:12:59,519
Speaker 1: always that guy who wanted to like make people happy

1466
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:01,400
Speaker 1: at parties. Not I've always been I was in college,

1467
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:02,680
Speaker 1: I was like the DJ at the house, you know.

1468
01:13:02,720 --> 01:13:04,519
Speaker 1: I was always a guy picking the music and things

1469
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:08,000
Speaker 1: like that. But Katelyn Bristow and I want to give

1470
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:10,840
Speaker 1: shout out to Caitlin and Jason. They were incredible through everything. UM.

1471
01:13:10,920 --> 01:13:14,000
Speaker 1: They were always you know, called me multiple times, invited

1472
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:16,240
Speaker 1: me out to see them kind of things. UM. But

1473
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:18,479
Speaker 1: they Caitlin, you know, she stuck her neck out for

1474
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:19,840
Speaker 1: me and she was like, you know what, I want

1475
01:13:19,880 --> 01:13:24,000
Speaker 1: you to come on my UM live podcast tour. And

1476
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:25,719
Speaker 1: she was like, I love you to be the DJ.

1477
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 1: And I kind of like laughed and I was like, okay,

1478
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,759
Speaker 1: Like that's a fun way of like I'm not breaking contract,

1479
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:32,759
Speaker 1: I'm not doing the podcast, I'm not doing interviews anything

1480
01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:35,200
Speaker 1: like that. I can just come and I feel the

1481
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:37,680
Speaker 1: love again quote unquote, and know that I'm not some

1482
01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:40,840
Speaker 1: kind of villain that everybody hates. UM. And so I'm

1483
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:43,200
Speaker 1: thankful for her for that. UM. But then when I

1484
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:45,360
Speaker 1: started kind of DJing and actually buying equipment, and I

1485
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:46,800
Speaker 1: was like, well, I kind of like this. I really

1486
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:48,840
Speaker 1: enjoyed this. This is a lot of fun. I love

1487
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:51,600
Speaker 1: making people dance and seeing, you know, make people happy.

1488
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:55,320
Speaker 1: And I got a call from a buddy of mine, UM,

1489
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:58,519
Speaker 1: two buddies, my buddy Eric and DJ Silver, and he

1490
01:13:58,640 --> 01:14:02,360
Speaker 1: was more like, you know, I'm creating a label. Um,

1491
01:14:02,479 --> 01:14:04,720
Speaker 1: we'd love to you know, kind of have you on

1492
01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:06,960
Speaker 1: it and teach you. And it's called Blackout Artists. And

1493
01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 1: it was one of those things where I was like,

1494
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:10,559
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm at this point in my life

1495
01:14:10,560 --> 01:14:12,280
Speaker 1: where I can do something because I can do something

1496
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about and try and make a living out

1497
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:16,720
Speaker 1: of it and took classes, did the whole thing. I

1498
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:18,840
Speaker 1: didn't want to be a press play DJ. I was like,

1499
01:14:18,880 --> 01:14:20,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this. If I'm gonna do this and

1500
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:22,360
Speaker 1: do it right, and I'll fall in love with it.

1501
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:25,960
Speaker 1: And I've made some um incredible strides in the DJing

1502
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,200
Speaker 1: and I've done some pretty big gigs, uh and it's

1503
01:14:28,280 --> 01:14:30,439
Speaker 1: so much fun and I love making music and I

1504
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,160
Speaker 1: love remixing a bunch of songs and it's just such

1505
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:34,600
Speaker 1: a blast. One of these days, you guys got to

1506
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:37,120
Speaker 1: come to one of my shows, for sure. I would

1507
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:40,000
Speaker 1: love to. Oh we will. Yeah. I was gonna say,

1508
01:14:40,080 --> 01:14:42,280
Speaker 1: is there anywhere that people can find your tour dates?

1509
01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:44,759
Speaker 1: But I guess they're not exactly. I've had a cancel

1510
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: about six dates right now, so that's that's been really hard. Yeah,

1511
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:50,800
Speaker 1: as soon as I get some some dates on the

1512
01:14:50,800 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 1: books when this all is over hopefully here soon, I'll

1513
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 1: definitely everybody know because it's a it's a good time,

1514
01:14:55,560 --> 01:15:00,680
Speaker 1: it's so much fun. Well. Uh, like you've been to

1515
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:05,160
Speaker 1: bachelorif on stage you have came out with that, you've

1516
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:11,120
Speaker 1: came on our podcast. UM, I I your your story

1517
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,559
Speaker 1: is one uh that real life was affected in ways

1518
01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:18,719
Speaker 1: that I think for anybody out there listening can understand.

1519
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:20,840
Speaker 1: I mean your life good or bad, or people agree

1520
01:15:20,920 --> 01:15:22,719
Speaker 1: or not, like they can see that your real life

1521
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:27,559
Speaker 1: was affected deeply by this experience. UM. But you've came

1522
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:30,120
Speaker 1: out of it, as you mentioned, you have your dj

1523
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:34,360
Speaker 1: uh pursuits. Uh that will come back in full force

1524
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:39,200
Speaker 1: once we're able to join together again. UM. From Ashley

1525
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:41,720
Speaker 1: and myself, thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank you,

1526
01:15:42,160 --> 01:15:46,240
Speaker 1: UM for sharing with us. Now we end every UM

1527
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:50,680
Speaker 1: in Depth podcast UM with our guests having thirty two

1528
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:53,840
Speaker 1: seconds to a minute to just speak into our listeners

1529
01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:56,000
Speaker 1: like you know, just these are your fans, These are

1530
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,519
Speaker 1: people that are gonna love hearing from you. Uh. They've

1531
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:01,200
Speaker 1: heard a lot from you today. But what would you

1532
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:04,559
Speaker 1: like to close with? UM, it's your moment, take it

1533
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:07,960
Speaker 1: say whatever you'd like. Okay. Actually, so I had a

1534
01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,640
Speaker 1: bit of a break This is because I wanted to

1535
01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:11,000
Speaker 1: get this out there somehow. So I had a bit

1536
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 1: of a breakthrough the other day in therapy, Um, some

1537
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,920
Speaker 1: pretty cool you kind of we're talking and I had

1538
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:19,240
Speaker 1: like one of those weird epiphanies. But my therapist she

1539
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:20,880
Speaker 1: asked me, she's amazing. She asked me, you know what

1540
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:24,760
Speaker 1: is um, what's your favorite show? And I'm a big

1541
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:26,639
Speaker 1: Friends guy, so I'm a big Friends fan, right, so

1542
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:31,519
Speaker 1: she said, what do uh, what do you say when

1543
01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:34,080
Speaker 1: somebody's like, hey, Friends sucks, you know? Or what do

1544
01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 1: you know? Seinfeld's better or something like that. And I say,

1545
01:16:36,360 --> 01:16:39,000
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't feel the need to defend

1546
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 1: that because I just know they're wrong, Like I just

1547
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,799
Speaker 1: know they're not. That's not the case. Friends is amazing.

1548
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:46,720
Speaker 1: And you know, she made me realize. She was like,

1549
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:49,840
Speaker 1: why are you so passionate that people are wrong when

1550
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:52,120
Speaker 1: they talk about friends, but when they talk about the

1551
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:55,599
Speaker 1: person you are, you're not as confident in who you are.

1552
01:16:56,280 --> 01:16:57,640
Speaker 1: And I had a bit of an epiphany where I

1553
01:16:57,840 --> 01:17:00,120
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I was like, why am I are

1554
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:05,040
Speaker 1: passionate about friends being a good sitcom. Then I am

1555
01:17:05,720 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: who I am as a person, and you know, I

1556
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:11,599
Speaker 1: think that's something you just got to realize, like people

1557
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:14,240
Speaker 1: don't know who you are, and I need to be

1558
01:17:14,360 --> 01:17:18,040
Speaker 1: just as passionate about myself as I am about friends,

1559
01:17:18,240 --> 01:17:21,000
Speaker 1: you know. And so it's just one of those things where,

1560
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:24,200
Speaker 1: like I said, you just gotta look in yourself, you know,

1561
01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:27,320
Speaker 1: and who you are rather then getting gratitude from other people.

1562
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, hopefully that helped someone out there during this quarantine.

1563
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,120
Speaker 1: Thanks Blake, that's great. That's so great. We like to

1564
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:37,840
Speaker 1: end on a fun note with a couple of rapid

1565
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:41,800
Speaker 1: fire questions. Are you already? I'm ready? All right? What

1566
01:17:41,960 --> 01:17:44,639
Speaker 1: is the song or artist that gets people most hype

1567
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:50,439
Speaker 1: when you're djaying? Link two? Oh? Interesting, but I knew

1568
01:17:50,439 --> 01:17:52,479
Speaker 1: it would be early two thousand. Play a lot of

1569
01:17:52,640 --> 01:17:56,680
Speaker 1: rock in my set? Okay, awesome? What are you postmating

1570
01:17:56,760 --> 01:18:02,880
Speaker 1: during quarantine? Actually had pizza, big eight inch pizza to

1571
01:18:02,880 --> 01:18:12,560
Speaker 1: myself by myself, the whole thing. That's amazing. What toppings

1572
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:16,000
Speaker 1: all the way. We know that you don't slide into

1573
01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:19,200
Speaker 1: anyone's d m s anymore, but from this past season,

1574
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:22,080
Speaker 1: would you if you could? And you like you would

1575
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:24,840
Speaker 1: allow yourself to do that, which you won't. Oh no,

1576
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 1: I honestly, so I did watch this season a little bit,

1577
01:18:28,360 --> 01:18:30,320
Speaker 1: and I watched now a little bit differently because I

1578
01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:32,439
Speaker 1: know how things can get taken out, you know how

1579
01:18:32,439 --> 01:18:35,080
Speaker 1: to context everything. I just, honestly, I don't know who

1580
01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:36,920
Speaker 1: I would say out of this season. I know that's

1581
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:40,240
Speaker 1: the answer you're looking for, and I'm terrified at the MS.

1582
01:18:40,320 --> 01:18:45,760
Speaker 1: So I figured you would be all right, who is

1583
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:48,320
Speaker 1: your man crush from the franchise, the guy that you

1584
01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:53,599
Speaker 1: would trade faces with? Faces? Faces, we'll do. We'll do

1585
01:18:53,760 --> 01:19:00,599
Speaker 1: one for life in one for face trade lives with

1586
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:05,200
Speaker 1: Ben Higgins. The man is newly engaged. Cream you can love.

1587
01:19:05,439 --> 01:19:07,800
Speaker 1: He's just on top of the world right now, that's right?

1588
01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:10,040
Speaker 1: I am. I feel pretty good. I've got a great girl,

1589
01:19:10,160 --> 01:19:13,240
Speaker 1: got a great podcast, got some good guests. Life's good.

1590
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:22,560
Speaker 1: What yeah? Faces, that's I've never thought about faces. Um.

1591
01:19:22,600 --> 01:19:25,600
Speaker 1: I kind of want trying to think of somebody with

1592
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:27,920
Speaker 1: a good beard, because my beard is horrible. I want

1593
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:30,320
Speaker 1: Jason's beard. Maybe Jason's got a good beard and he's

1594
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:34,519
Speaker 1: got good hair. Won't change Jason's head. Yeah, alright, cool,

1595
01:19:34,680 --> 01:19:37,960
Speaker 1: that's a good choice, good choice. Jason's up there for

1596
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:41,519
Speaker 1: Jared to um, we've played this game where I know

1597
01:19:41,720 --> 01:19:47,200
Speaker 1: his man crushes at the franchise and then, um, who

1598
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:49,719
Speaker 1: would you trade swag with? Like? Who do who swagged

1599
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:54,840
Speaker 1: you on? Oh? God, you know Mike Johnson's got a

1600
01:19:54,880 --> 01:19:57,120
Speaker 1: lot of swag. Okay, Yeah, that's a good answer to

1601
01:19:57,360 --> 01:20:01,799
Speaker 1: Mikey Mike got swag? Okay, Slee. What is the drink

1602
01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:05,760
Speaker 1: of choice? Well djaying, Well, so I try not to

1603
01:20:05,800 --> 01:20:09,200
Speaker 1: drink too much filet DJ, but afterwards a lot of tea.

1604
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:14,800
Speaker 1: Keep a guy alright. Awesome, Thank you so much, Blake.

1605
01:20:14,840 --> 01:20:18,400
Speaker 1: You really opened your heart up and we really appreciate it. Yeah, no,

1606
01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:23,040
Speaker 1: thanks for having appreciate it. We feel like every almost

1607
01:20:23,040 --> 01:20:25,760
Speaker 1: famous in depth pretty much ends with us liking the

1608
01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:30,320
Speaker 1: person even more. I hope that's the case. We always say,

1609
01:20:30,360 --> 01:20:31,920
Speaker 1: I mean, Ashton, I have said it like, once you

1610
01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:34,720
Speaker 1: hear somebody's story, it's hard to hate him. It just

1611
01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:36,800
Speaker 1: it is. And And now, like I said, I watch

1612
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:38,439
Speaker 1: a show a little differently because I know everybody's got

1613
01:20:38,439 --> 01:20:41,840
Speaker 1: a story. Like you said, so well, we uh follow

1614
01:20:41,840 --> 01:20:43,479
Speaker 1: along with our lead. And you've been on this before.

1615
01:20:43,479 --> 01:20:44,920
Speaker 1: I think you know what we're about to do here,

1616
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:47,920
Speaker 1: but thank you for co hosting this podcast. Thank you

1617
01:20:47,960 --> 01:20:51,639
Speaker 1: everybody out there listening. Ashley and I just have really enjoyed,

1618
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:55,200
Speaker 1: uh speaking with some Abaschel Nation's favorites. Uh. It is

1619
01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:57,479
Speaker 1: our pleasure to speak with them. We're gonna thank them

1620
01:20:57,520 --> 01:21:00,200
Speaker 1: for coming on our podcast. I know it's a very

1621
01:21:00,280 --> 01:21:02,559
Speaker 1: vulnerable moment when you say yes to sitting down with

1622
01:21:02,560 --> 01:21:04,240
Speaker 1: somebody for an hour and a half to two hours

1623
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:06,439
Speaker 1: and just sharing your life story. Ashley and I don't

1624
01:21:06,479 --> 01:21:10,600
Speaker 1: take that lightly. Uh, we appreciate it. Thank you for

1625
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:13,639
Speaker 1: sharing your heart with us and the listeners. This isn't

1626
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:17,679
Speaker 1: it though. Ashley and I will be back many times over,

1627
01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:22,920
Speaker 1: probably before this quarantine is completed. Uh, speaking with you

1628
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:27,160
Speaker 1: and to you about everything Bachelor, our lives and some

1629
01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:30,639
Speaker 1: of our friends lives. With that, I've been been, I've

1630
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:34,519
Speaker 1: been blake Later, guys, thank you. Follow the Benn and

1631
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:38,360
Speaker 1: Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on iHeart Radio or subscribe

1632
01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:40,000
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts.