WEBVTT - Jonathan Haidt on the Great Rewiring of Childhood

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<v Speaker 1>Hi everyone, I'm Katie Couric, and this is next question.

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<v Speaker 2>I got a smartphone when I was twelve years old.

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<v Speaker 3>I was in fifth grade.

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<v Speaker 1>It was my mom's old phone, so I think I

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<v Speaker 1>was like nine or.

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<v Speaker 4>Ten, I was fourteen.

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<v Speaker 2>As far as like comparing myself to other people, I

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<v Speaker 2>think I started doing that a lot more when d

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<v Speaker 2>a smartphone and like seeing people are posting.

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<v Speaker 4>Unfortunately, it's kind of like a constant competition. You make

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<v Speaker 4>posts to show people what you're doing, and whether or

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<v Speaker 4>not you want to admit it, it's to show that you're

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<v Speaker 4>doing something better than the other person. I think a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of it is toxic and it has contributed to

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<v Speaker 4>like a lot of negativity.

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<v Speaker 2>I cannot wait to hopefully one day get better control

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<v Speaker 2>over my life, because right now, Instagram and TikTok and

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<v Speaker 2>snapchatre'srolling my life like puppeteers.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you guys remember that song from Bye Bye Bertie,

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<v Speaker 1>the one Paul Lynn sang back in nineteen sixty three.

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<v Speaker 3>Why Kevin May like we were perfect in every way?

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<v Speaker 3>What's the matter with kids today?

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<v Speaker 1>But go sixty one years later people are wondering the

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<v Speaker 1>same thing, what's the matter with kids today? I am

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<v Speaker 1>so excited to have one of my favorite people, Jonathan Height,

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<v Speaker 1>here to help us think through what exactly has gone

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<v Speaker 1>wrong with young people iPhones and social media and what

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<v Speaker 1>we can all do about it together. As you'll hear,

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<v Speaker 1>the solution might be simple, but it is not easy.

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<v Speaker 1>Jonathan has a new book out and it is doing gangbusters.

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<v Speaker 1>Clearly he's struck a nerve. It's a deep dive into

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<v Speaker 1>how and why and when smartphones changed everything about childhood

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<v Speaker 1>and why we might just be at a tipping point

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<v Speaker 1>where parents and kids say no Moss. Jonathan Height. Your

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<v Speaker 1>new book is called The Anxious Generation, How the great

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<v Speaker 1>rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so happy to see you and talk to you.

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<v Speaker 1>We have been actually communicating during your whole writing process,

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<v Speaker 1>and yeah, you sneak a few graphs to me kind

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<v Speaker 1>of showing what you were discovering. But before we talk

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<v Speaker 1>about the essence of this book, you had great hopes

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<v Speaker 1>for technology when it first surfaced in our lives and

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<v Speaker 1>in society writ large. What did you think it would

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<v Speaker 1>allow us to do well?

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<v Speaker 3>I was very influenced by a book I read. It

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<v Speaker 3>was written in nineteen ninety nine by Robert Wright called

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<v Speaker 3>non Zero, and it was how he starts with the

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<v Speaker 3>history of bacteria and like early life, and whenever life

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<v Speaker 3>has found a way to cooperate more, you get an

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<v Speaker 3>explosion of productivity and you never lose it. And so

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<v Speaker 3>life has been stepping up ability to cooperate at larger

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<v Speaker 3>and larger levels forever. And with humans, you know, we

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<v Speaker 3>were originally hunter gatherers and tribes battling each other. But

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<v Speaker 3>when you get forms of political organization that you have

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<v Speaker 3>communities or towns, you get roads that link. So it's

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<v Speaker 3>always connection has always been good in the long run.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometimes there's chaos at first, but it's always good in

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<v Speaker 3>the long run. And remember this book comes out, it's

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<v Speaker 3>nineteen ninety nine, so you and I remember the nineties.

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<v Speaker 3>It was like, yay, history is over all that crazy

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<v Speaker 3>stuff with dictators and wars, like that's all God and

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<v Speaker 3>like it's going to be yeah and that. So then

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<v Speaker 3>the Internet comes in around I saw my first web

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<v Speaker 3>browser nineteen ninety four, and it really was like, wow,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, these guys in California, they're giving us godlike powers.

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<v Speaker 3>They are literally giving us omnissions. I can at this moment,

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<v Speaker 3>I can know anything in the whole. It was a

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<v Speaker 3>amazing you know, and I was I was a relatively

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<v Speaker 3>young man at the time, and I loved computers and technology.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd worked in computers, so there was enormous techno optimism.

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<v Speaker 3>I certainly was a techno optimist. And this persists all

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<v Speaker 3>the way through about twenty eleven twenty twelve, for sure,

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<v Speaker 3>because now we're getting the iPhone, which is magical and amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>We're getting you know, uber like I just press a

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<v Speaker 3>button and a taxi appears for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Why didn't I think of that?

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<v Speaker 3>So, you know, it was just amazement after amazement, and

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<v Speaker 3>there was a lot of gratitude, and we treated these

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<v Speaker 3>guys like gods.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that you had your son at the time,

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<v Speaker 1>I believe was two years old, and you started showing

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<v Speaker 1>him this technology and you marveled at the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>he was able to do the touch screen and swipe

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<v Speaker 1>almost instinctively right, and you thought, Wow, this is so cool.

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<v Speaker 3>That's exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Was there not a part of you, John that was saying, no,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe it's not cool.

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<v Speaker 3>No, because you know, it's not that I showed it

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<v Speaker 3>to him. It's that, like every young human being. He

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<v Speaker 3>saw the lights and flashing colors and said, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>I phone, I phone. You know, he wanted he desperately

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<v Speaker 3>wanted it, and you give it to him, and he

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<v Speaker 3>very quickly, you know, learned you touch, you know, you

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<v Speaker 3>touch what you want. You know, it's it's very intuitive technology.

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<v Speaker 1>And what year was this when so little I.

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<v Speaker 3>Got my first iPhone in two thousand and eight, was

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<v Speaker 3>an iPhone two the year after it came out, and

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<v Speaker 3>my son was two at the time, and he, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>he could bear. He wasn't even really talking like he

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<v Speaker 3>had words, he didn't have sentences yet, but he could

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<v Speaker 3>figure out how to move around the iPhone and so

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<v Speaker 3>that's amazing. There's no problem there. And you got to

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<v Speaker 3>remember the original iPhone was just a digital Swiss army knife.

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<v Speaker 3>It just you know, if you wanted maps, you had maps.

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<v Speaker 3>If you want music, you got music. If you want

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<v Speaker 3>a flashlight, you got a flashlight. There were no notifications,

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<v Speaker 3>there was no app store, there was no social media.

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<v Speaker 3>So it was a tool that I pulled out of

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<v Speaker 3>my pocket when I wanted to do something, and so

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<v Speaker 3>it was great. The story in my book is how

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<v Speaker 3>everything changes between twenty ten and twenty fifteen. I call

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<v Speaker 3>that the great rewiring of childhood because in twenty ten

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<v Speaker 3>almost all American kids have a flip phone. They have

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<v Speaker 3>everyone has a cell phone, but it was a dumb

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<v Speaker 3>what we now call it dumb was then mostly a

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<v Speaker 3>flip phone which they used to connect to other kids.

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<v Speaker 3>And so that's great. Still, technology is wonderful, it's amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, the kids are going to be so smart.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh by they're all techno whizzes. That's twenty ten. By

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<v Speaker 3>twenty fifteen, eighty percent have a smartphone. They've got high

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<v Speaker 3>speed data, which they high speed Internet. They didn't have

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<v Speaker 3>it in twenty ten. Mostly they've got a front facing camera,

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<v Speaker 3>which wasn't there in twenty ten. It was introduced in

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<v Speaker 3>twenty ten. They have Instagram, which was introduced in twenty ten.

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<v Speaker 3>And so the daily life of a young person in

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<v Speaker 3>twenty ten was still recognizably a human childhood, where technology

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<v Speaker 3>was a tool they used to connect. By twenty fifteen,

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<v Speaker 3>it was not recognizably a human childhood. It was spent

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<v Speaker 3>most of the waking hours that were not in school.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh actually, and even hours in school were spent looking

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<v Speaker 3>at their small screen and doing stuff that disconnected them

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<v Speaker 3>from the peace people next to them. So that's why

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<v Speaker 3>I say childhood change between twenty ten and twenty fifteen,

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<v Speaker 3>and I believe that's the major reason that mental health

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<v Speaker 3>plunged all over the developed world in that period.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's talk about the number of kids who when you

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<v Speaker 1>say they, what ages are you talking about between twenty

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<v Speaker 1>ten and twenty fifteen when these devices became ubiquitous.

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<v Speaker 3>So the thing to focus on is puberty. Puberty begins

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<v Speaker 3>around eleven to thirteen for girls is early puberty, and

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<v Speaker 3>then boys it's a year or two later. And puberty

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<v Speaker 3>is so important because that's when the human brain really

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<v Speaker 3>speeds up its development. The brain isn't growing very much

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<v Speaker 3>in total volume, that it reaches almost its full volume

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<v Speaker 3>by age six. Everything else is about sorting through which

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<v Speaker 3>which neurons are going to stay, which are going to

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<v Speaker 3>get cleaned out, which synapses, which connections between neurons are

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<v Speaker 3>going to stay and multiply, and which ones are going

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<v Speaker 3>to disappear. So it's a tuning up process which is

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<v Speaker 3>guided by the experiences that the child is having. So

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<v Speaker 3>if a child is running around a lot and playing

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<v Speaker 3>social games and gossiping and doing all the normal stuff

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<v Speaker 3>of childhood, then those parts of the brain are going

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<v Speaker 3>to wire up sort of in the way that evolution expected.

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<v Speaker 3>But if a kid is spending six hours a day

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<v Speaker 3>on video games, that's a very different set of stimulation.

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<v Speaker 3>It's going to lead to different neural development. Boys mostly

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<v Speaker 3>went for video games, or they disproportionally went for video

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<v Speaker 3>games and pornography. Girls disproportionately went for social media and

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<v Speaker 3>social media. It just like it's like, you take all

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<v Speaker 3>the complicated social development. I mean, you know, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>as a boy, I remember seventh grade was the worst

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<v Speaker 3>year of my life. According to what I read, that

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<v Speaker 3>is the peak year of bullying, especially for girls. So

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<v Speaker 3>I was very aware even then. You know, girls had

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<v Speaker 3>it even rougher, Like it's hard to be a middle

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<v Speaker 3>school girl. And social media homes hones in on exactly

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<v Speaker 3>the insecurities, the fears, the relational aggression, and it gives

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<v Speaker 3>girls tools to say, oh, you know, you want to

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<v Speaker 3>hurt her relationships or her reputation, here you go. You

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<v Speaker 3>can do it anonymously, you can do it over the week.

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<v Speaker 3>And oh she's insecure about her looks, let's show her

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<v Speaker 3>lots of photos of other girls who have happier lives

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<v Speaker 3>and more beautiful faces than she does. So for all

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<v Speaker 3>these reasons, social media really hit girls hard. Oh but

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<v Speaker 3>your original question was like what ag just sorry this

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<v Speaker 3>is att answer. That's OK, because I'm so focused on

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<v Speaker 3>puberty in middle school because that's where the maximum damage

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<v Speaker 3>is done and that's what it's going to be easiest

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<v Speaker 3>for us to rip it all out.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm curious about this whole synapse wiring and your brain

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<v Speaker 1>kind of making these connections during puberty. How much of

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<v Speaker 1>those connections are really impacting your emotional wellbeing versus, say,

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<v Speaker 1>your cognitive function.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a great question because that difference is one that

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<v Speaker 3>we know Meta was very aware of. That is some

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<v Speaker 3>documents leaked brought up by Francis Haugen the Whistleblower show

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<v Speaker 3>a some sort of a workshop or something that Facebook

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<v Speaker 3>that had internal workshop where someone was explaining to Facebook

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<v Speaker 3>staff worldwide what happens during puberty, and they explicitly say

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<v Speaker 3>that the brain rewires itself from back to front and

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<v Speaker 3>during puberty first the emotions. The emotions get rewired and

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<v Speaker 3>the emotional life is very strong, and the prefrontal cortex,

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<v Speaker 3>which is the seat of executive function, the seat of

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<v Speaker 3>self control, the seat of I'm going to make a plan.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's how I get to the plan. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 3>stick to the plan. That stuff which is even it's

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<v Speaker 3>hard for us adults in the age of social.

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<v Speaker 1>Media to say, and I understand that that continues to

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<v Speaker 1>develop up until like age twenty four.

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<v Speaker 3>Twenty that's right, Yeah, that's right. So this rewiring of

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<v Speaker 3>the brain, and part of what happens is you get

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<v Speaker 3>the neurons get coated in a sheath of myelin, which

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<v Speaker 3>is kind of a fatty substance. So that's that's when

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<v Speaker 3>we say things get locked down. It's sort of like,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, when you're the young brain could change in

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of ways, but once it's figured out like, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>this is what is needed in this culture, let's put

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<v Speaker 3>the milin sheath over it, so that now things go

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<v Speaker 3>really fast, but they can't be changed anymore. So puberty

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<v Speaker 3>is the period when the brain is assuming this form,

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<v Speaker 3>and the last part to wire up like that is

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<v Speaker 3>the prefunctional cortex. And so we don't know, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>we don't know whether these effects will be permanent. But

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<v Speaker 3>if kids are growing up without spending ten minutes at

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<v Speaker 3>a time on tasks. If it's if it's constant switching,

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<v Speaker 3>constant switching of tasks that's going to interfere with the

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<v Speaker 3>ability to develop executive control and to make plans and

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<v Speaker 3>execute them.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll talk a little bit more if you could, John

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<v Speaker 1>about how this constant focus on your phone impact your

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<v Speaker 1>ability to form, you know, to be able to make

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<v Speaker 1>judgments to get versus say, being out in the world

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<v Speaker 1>playing tag, as you said, or running around with your

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<v Speaker 1>friends or having face to face interactions. Can you talk

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<v Speaker 1>a little more about that.

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<v Speaker 3>Sure, So let's start. You know, I'm going to assume

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<v Speaker 3>that most of your listeners are are not gen Z,

0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.680
<v Speaker 3>that they're older, that many many of them have had

0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.200
<v Speaker 3>to say that I'm kidding just because gen Z is no,

0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:58.040
<v Speaker 3>I shouldn't say anything I should saying about whether they're

0:11:58.080 --> 0:11:59.840
<v Speaker 3>likely what they're likely listen to it. But you know,

0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:04.000
<v Speaker 3>most of us remember childhood, back when we were allowed out.

0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:05.960
<v Speaker 3>And that's the other piece of this, which I'm sure

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:06.439
<v Speaker 3>we'll come back to.

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.280
<v Speaker 1>It's the lost the playbase, this culture of fear. Yeah,

0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:12.319
<v Speaker 1>that's right, that it's kind of coincided with this interesting

0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:14.440
<v Speaker 1>thing enough and helicopter parenting.

0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 3>It's all part of it. But so yeah, to lead

0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:19.199
<v Speaker 3>up to it, we can say, remember your best moments

0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.560
<v Speaker 3>of outdoor play, and probably your heart was beating fast.

0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:24.680
<v Speaker 3>It was a running, a game involved running. It was

0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 3>incredibly exciting. Maybe it was hiding, maybe it was swinging,

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.520
<v Speaker 3>maybe there was motion, but there was probably something that

0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:31.679
<v Speaker 3>was thrilling about it.

0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 1>For me, it was riding my bike all over my neighborhood.

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:36.719
<v Speaker 3>Oh and you remember steep hills. You go over the

0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:37.160
<v Speaker 3>top of.

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.520
<v Speaker 1>My down and broke my front too, so that wasn't

0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 1>a positive experience. But other than that, I really enjoyed

0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 1>taking off on my bike in the early morning or

0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:48.960
<v Speaker 1>mid morning and being gone until five thirty.

0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.840
<v Speaker 3>That's right, That's the way childhood was. And when you know,

0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.040
<v Speaker 3>I really remember like going on my bus, like up

0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.880
<v Speaker 3>over a hill and there's a part where you're on

0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.040
<v Speaker 3>the downhill and it's a steep hill and you're a

0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.720
<v Speaker 3>little scared, but it's incredibly exciting and you're incredibly focused

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.439
<v Speaker 3>on what you're doing. And then when you do it,

0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.600
<v Speaker 3>when you do it and you don't wipe out, you're like, yes,

0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 3>it's so exciting. While you were going down that hill.

0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.800
<v Speaker 3>How many other things were you thinking about. Probably none, Right,

0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.880
<v Speaker 3>You're totally focused on what you are, totally present, and

0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.960
<v Speaker 3>kids have an incredible ability to be present to look

0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 3>at something you didn't even notice. Now, let's contrast that

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 3>with sitting in school and you're trying to pay attention

0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:31.079
<v Speaker 3>to the teacher. And let's suppose let's suppose imagine you're

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 3>back in school and on your desk, you brought your

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.080
<v Speaker 3>television set in and your television is there. You you

0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:37.720
<v Speaker 3>out the remote control. You can watch whatever you wants

0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 3>right on your desk, and your telephone is there and

0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.560
<v Speaker 3>you can talk to whoever you want during class, and

0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:47.280
<v Speaker 3>comic books are there, and pornography is there. Everything is

0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.079
<v Speaker 3>spread out on your desk, and the teacher's droning on

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.640
<v Speaker 3>about map Like, you're probably not paying attention to the teacher,

0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:56.280
<v Speaker 3>and you're probably scattered among all the other things. And

0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.600
<v Speaker 3>that's basically what we've done to kids, because it's not

0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.000
<v Speaker 3>just the phones, it's all the educatational technology.

0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:02.679
<v Speaker 1>So what is that doing to your brain?

0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:03.000
<v Speaker 3>Then?

0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:07.440
<v Speaker 1>If you are being assaulted by all these different things

0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:11.440
<v Speaker 1>that are vying for your attention, is that just scrambling

0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:13.160
<v Speaker 1>your brain? What is it doing exactly?

0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:17.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, everything that involves learning is changing your brain. None

0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:18.719
<v Speaker 3>of these are like big things like it. It's not

0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:20.040
<v Speaker 3>like you could look at a brain and say, oh,

0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 3>this kid watch social media. But the neural growth is

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 3>going to change in response to whatever it is that

0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 3>you do. So if you spend a lot of time

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:31.080
<v Speaker 3>doing archery, whatever parts of the brain are related to that,

0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 3>those are going to really refine that you become a

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 3>really good archer. Or if it's athletics, whatever it is,

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 3>those parts of the brain are going to tune up

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.360
<v Speaker 3>really really well. So if it's playing video games, then

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 3>you're going to get really good at the hand eye coordination,

0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.480
<v Speaker 3>not at risk taking, not at any physical skill, just

0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:50.240
<v Speaker 3>whatever skills the video game gives you. What we can

0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:53.360
<v Speaker 3>say about all the distraction for sure is this it

0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 3>is making kids dumber. And by dumber, I just mean

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.440
<v Speaker 3>when you give kids tests, as we do a lot,

0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.720
<v Speaker 3>what we see is that from nineteen seventy through twenty

0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:06.040
<v Speaker 3>twelve those scores were going up. We have in America,

0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:10.040
<v Speaker 3>we have the National Assessment of Educational Progress Report. From

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.600
<v Speaker 3>the seventies to twenty twelve, those numbers were going up slowly.

0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:14.520
<v Speaker 3>It's very hard to make a whole population smarter. But

0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.560
<v Speaker 3>we actually did it. And then last year we found

0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.960
<v Speaker 3>out scores have plummeted, and everyone said, oh, COVID, My god,

0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 3>COVID really, you know it did it in you know,

0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 3>the COVID the cancelations, And that was true. You know,

0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.840
<v Speaker 3>keeping kids out of school was bad. You know, it's

0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 3>also bad. Putting them on screens all day long, that

0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.320
<v Speaker 3>was really bad. But guess what a lot of the

0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 3>job was actually twenty twelve to twenty nineteen. It was

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:39.880
<v Speaker 3>before COVID, so American kids we lost almost all the project.

0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:42.080
<v Speaker 3>Almost all the problems we've made since nineteen seventy one

0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 3>is now gone gone since twenty twelve. And it's not

0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 3>just us. There's an international data set called PISA, and

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.920
<v Speaker 3>it shows that around the world, almost all over the world.

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.160
<v Speaker 3>There's thirty seven countries, I think in pea thirty four

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.320
<v Speaker 3>something like that. It's not just us. All over kids

0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:01.360
<v Speaker 3>are there, they know less, they're doing work on academic achievement,

0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 3>which has not happened before, I certainly on a global level,

0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:08.040
<v Speaker 3>and they're lonelier in school. There's some questions like I

0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 3>feel lonely at school, you know, strongly agree disagree, and

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.400
<v Speaker 3>so Gene Twangy and I looked at those six items

0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.520
<v Speaker 3>and we graft them out and all over the world

0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.040
<v Speaker 3>beginning after twenty twelve, kids are lonely at school. Of

0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:22.720
<v Speaker 3>course they are because if everyone else has a smartphone. Now,

0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:24.840
<v Speaker 3>even if you don't have one, there's no one to

0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 3>talk to in the hall. Everyone's on their phone.

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:29.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know, there's so much to unravel here. First,

0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.680
<v Speaker 1>let's talk about sort of academic performance. I know increasingly

0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 1>schools are thinking about banning or forcing students to put

0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.800
<v Speaker 1>away phones. They say ostensibly they have a no phone use,

0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:44.040
<v Speaker 1>but they don't really necessarily enforce it. And it's interesting.

0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.520
<v Speaker 1>I remember taking my daughter on a college tour and

0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 1>going to a class and seeing so many kids. Now

0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.680
<v Speaker 1>this was when they were taking notes on computers. We're

0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:56.520
<v Speaker 1>shopping at Ja Crew and other things, and Professor, I know,

0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:58.480
<v Speaker 1>Larry Sabato, I think you cuts out.

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:00.680
<v Speaker 3>Connection.

0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:04.440
<v Speaker 1>That's really so Larry, I think figured out he wasn't

0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:07.040
<v Speaker 1>going to have Wi Fi in his classroom. So they

0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 1>could use their computer to take notes, but they couldn't shop,

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.520
<v Speaker 1>or they couldn't go on social media platforms.

0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:13.320
<v Speaker 3>How about it work out?

0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.480
<v Speaker 1>I think better, I think better for him. But it

0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 1>infuriated me. Actually, I thought, these parents are paying all

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:22.360
<v Speaker 1>this money and these kids are shopping at ja cru

0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 1>during a really important history class. So let's talk about

0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.200
<v Speaker 1>this school thing. I mean, more and more schools are

0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:34.359
<v Speaker 1>trying to enact these requirements or restrictions on phones. Right,

0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.120
<v Speaker 1>how is that going over? And do you think it's

0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:38.920
<v Speaker 1>going to turn around test scores?

0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.720
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I think it's going to go really well. It's

0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.119
<v Speaker 3>going to happen this year and so far. So let

0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 3>me just be clear about what has been happening. So

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.360
<v Speaker 3>the teachers all hate the phones. The teachers, the last

0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.400
<v Speaker 3>thing they need is to be phone police. The teachers

0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:52.919
<v Speaker 3>can see what it's doing. I've not yet made a

0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:54.359
<v Speaker 3>teacher who thinks it's a good thing that the kids

0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.640
<v Speaker 3>have phones in their pockets. The principles, the heads of school,

0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 3>they all hate the phones, the drama, the bullying, the

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:00.800
<v Speaker 3>thing that they can and even see what's going on.

0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:02.840
<v Speaker 3>They just know that something terrible is happening with the students.

0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.880
<v Speaker 3>They can't even help. So everyone hates the phones. Why

0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.000
<v Speaker 3>don't they bam them? Why don't they require them to

0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.680
<v Speaker 3>be locked away? Because in every school there are some

0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:14.600
<v Speaker 3>parents who freak out and yell and scream and say, no,

0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:16.000
<v Speaker 3>I have to be able to reach my child. What

0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:19.760
<v Speaker 3>if there's an emergency or a schoolshroom. That's right, that's right.

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 3>And so this small number of parents who insist that

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.040
<v Speaker 3>it's their right to communicate with their child even in

0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 3>class are very loud. They have a loud voice. So

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:32.240
<v Speaker 3>what they do. What the common policy in America is

0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.359
<v Speaker 3>the school says you're not allowed to use your phone

0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:38.200
<v Speaker 3>during class, that your phone use is banned during class.

0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:38.880
<v Speaker 1>And that's a joke.

0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.520
<v Speaker 3>It's a joke because what it means is open phone

0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.879
<v Speaker 3>use is banned as long as you hide it in

0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:45.639
<v Speaker 3>a book, hide it in your lap, or go to

0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.399
<v Speaker 3>the bathroom. And teachers have told me kids are going

0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:49.480
<v Speaker 3>to the bathroom a lot more nowadays. If they have

0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:50.639
<v Speaker 3>a you know, if they can use their phone in

0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:52.480
<v Speaker 3>the bathroom, they will. You know, if you were running

0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:55.080
<v Speaker 3>a heroin treatment clinic and you had a rule, you

0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.399
<v Speaker 3>come in, you know, we'll work on your heroin addiction.

0:18:57.800 --> 0:18:59.560
<v Speaker 3>You can bring your heroin in, you can bring your

0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:01.600
<v Speaker 3>needles in, but just leap in your pocket. Just don't

0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:04.520
<v Speaker 3>shoot up while you're here. In the clinic like they

0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 3>can't do that. And so, to return to your example

0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:10.120
<v Speaker 3>of Larry Sabato, or of teachers until three years ago,

0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.000
<v Speaker 3>I always had the policy because I like to take

0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:14.720
<v Speaker 3>notes on a computer. So I always had a policy.

0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.239
<v Speaker 3>And I'm teaching NBA students at at NYU. These are

0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:21.080
<v Speaker 3>like twenty eight year old professionals, and you know, you know,

0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.640
<v Speaker 3>we're all mature here. So I would make a big

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.760
<v Speaker 3>show of saying, look, we can't multitask. Here's the research.

0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:29.680
<v Speaker 3>You can't multitask. If you want to use your computer

0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:32.239
<v Speaker 3>to take notes, you have to stand up, raise your

0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.560
<v Speaker 3>right hand and pledge, and it's written out. I will

0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:38.640
<v Speaker 3>only use my computer for class related activities. I will

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:39.800
<v Speaker 3>not go on the end, you know.

0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:43.199
<v Speaker 1>So I think there's an honor system at NYA. They

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.480
<v Speaker 1>don't have that only UVA, that's.

0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:47.640
<v Speaker 3>Right, which I tried to reform, but that's another story.

0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:51.000
<v Speaker 3>When I was there, since I taught at UVA until

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:55.880
<v Speaker 3>twenty eleven, loved it, and so but what I found

0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.240
<v Speaker 3>my TA would sit in the back and she would say,

0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:01.080
<v Speaker 3>you know a third of the class, especially everyone in

0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:04.120
<v Speaker 3>the back row, is their shopping. They're on social media,

0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:07.560
<v Speaker 3>they're texting, and I finally realized this is happening all

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.960
<v Speaker 3>over the country. That means it's not the kid's fault.

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:14.919
<v Speaker 3>It's like this technology was designed to grip, to grab

0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:18.440
<v Speaker 3>their attention, keep their interest, keep them thinking about it,

0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:21.560
<v Speaker 3>send them alerts. Oh there's a special twenty percent off.

0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.440
<v Speaker 3>Click here to find out what someone just said about you.

0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.040
<v Speaker 1>When we come back. What our kids lose when they

0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:38.159
<v Speaker 1>lose an analog childhood. If you want to get smarter

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.360
<v Speaker 1>every morning with a breakdown of the news and fascinating

0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:44.800
<v Speaker 1>takes on health and wellness and pop culture, sign up

0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:47.359
<v Speaker 1>for our daily newsletter Wake Up Call by going to

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Katiecuric dot com. We're back with Jonathan Hepe. I interviewed

0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Christan Harris documentary I did six years ago on tech addiction,

0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:07.440
<v Speaker 1>and you're right. I'm glad you brought that up, because

0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:11.920
<v Speaker 1>in some ways it's not their fault because these devices

0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:16.880
<v Speaker 1>are designed for maximum time spent on them, and so

0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:21.240
<v Speaker 1>everything they can do, from making the colors enticing and

0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:27.240
<v Speaker 1>interesting to making sure that they have constant stimulation, it's

0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.520
<v Speaker 1>just it's very hard. It's hard. I feel like I'm

0:21:30.520 --> 0:21:31.480
<v Speaker 1>addicted to my phone.

0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:35.600
<v Speaker 3>Well, that's right. So I think one reason why my

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:38.800
<v Speaker 3>book is resonating so much, why people are buying it

0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:41.480
<v Speaker 3>and sending and giving it to others, is that we've

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.080
<v Speaker 3>all seen this in ourselves. Like, you know, we know

0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.600
<v Speaker 3>that this is true, that this stuff, it fragments our attention,

0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:49.280
<v Speaker 3>it keeps us on, it wastes our time. Now, obviously

0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 3>there are very powerful tools. I mean for adults, there

0:21:51.520 --> 0:21:54.600
<v Speaker 3>are reasons to use Instagram and even TikTok. You know,

0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:56.399
<v Speaker 3>they're very helpful for companies.

0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 1>And markets and things like that.

0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:00.400
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, well, no one's addicted to maps. Kind of weird.

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:02.240
<v Speaker 1>If you're doing you're kind of addicted to maps. I

0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:05.120
<v Speaker 1>am addicted to GPS. I don't think I could get

0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:06.000
<v Speaker 1>any place with that.

0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:08.040
<v Speaker 3>That's so you're dependent on it, which is very different.

0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:10.800
<v Speaker 3>So look, adults can make a choice, you know what,

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:13.639
<v Speaker 3>I'm willing to give up my ability to navigate in

0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 3>return for perfect directions. And it's true, we are like

0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:19.359
<v Speaker 3>I find like you know, I've been living in New

0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:22.040
<v Speaker 3>York since twenty eleven. We have a grid system here.

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:25.680
<v Speaker 3>But yet, like I'm dependent on that. You know, you

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:27.200
<v Speaker 3>don't bother to learn certain things.

0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:29.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know my husband's phone number.

0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:32.560
<v Speaker 3>Right, But okay, but again, that's not an addiction. That's

0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:34.439
<v Speaker 3>you've been a change in your life, and it's a

0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:36.879
<v Speaker 3>kind of a deal with the devil where you don't

0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:38.800
<v Speaker 3>have to learn a lot of stuff because your computer

0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:39.159
<v Speaker 3>knows it.

0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:41.399
<v Speaker 1>But I feel like my mind is lazy as a result.

0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:45.520
<v Speaker 1>But that's another topic. But getting back to addiction, I mean,

0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:48.600
<v Speaker 1>so this is part of the problem, and I want

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 1>to just bring in this notion of protecting children. This

0:22:52.720 --> 0:22:58.000
<v Speaker 1>coincided with sort of stranger danger helicopter parenting. We don't

0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:01.680
<v Speaker 1>want our kids to be too. So it's almost been

0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:04.880
<v Speaker 1>a double whammy, hasn't it talk about that?

0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:07.399
<v Speaker 3>So one thing that I do in the book. I

0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:08.960
<v Speaker 3>thought that it was going to be a book about

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:11.359
<v Speaker 3>social media and girls, originally because that's where the data

0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:14.439
<v Speaker 3>is clearest, that there's a cause, there's a causal relationship.

0:23:14.800 --> 0:23:16.919
<v Speaker 3>But once I got all the numbers together, I started

0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:20.520
<v Speaker 3>making graphs. My research partner, Zach Rousch, and I we

0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:22.040
<v Speaker 3>had all these graphs. I asked him to look at

0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:25.720
<v Speaker 3>what's happening all these countries and we saw it's not

0:23:25.760 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 3>just us, it's so many countries. It's the boys too.

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:30.920
<v Speaker 3>Although the boys don't curve up quite as quickly. It's

0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:32.960
<v Speaker 3>not like everything changed for them in twenty twelve the

0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:34.879
<v Speaker 3>way it did for the girls. But the larger point

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:37.960
<v Speaker 3>is what we realized is it's a change in childhood.

0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:40.119
<v Speaker 3>Where there's the first part is the loss of the

0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:43.920
<v Speaker 3>play based childhood. And so I realized I can't just

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:45.639
<v Speaker 3>write a book about social media and girls. I have

0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 3>to actually start writing about what is childhood? What is

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:50.840
<v Speaker 3>human childhood? Why is it so different from every other species?

0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:54.240
<v Speaker 3>Why is it so long? And why do humans actually

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 3>slow down in our growth. Other primates they just grow

0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.080
<v Speaker 3>and grow and grow, and then they reach puberty and

0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:02.560
<v Speaker 3>then they reproduce. That's I mean, why wouldn't you But humans,

0:24:02.600 --> 0:24:04.440
<v Speaker 3>we grow and grow and then we slow down around

0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:06.359
<v Speaker 3>age three or four, were slow and we grow very

0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:11.000
<v Speaker 3>slowly until around age you know, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,

0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:13.840
<v Speaker 3>and then we have a growth spurt. And that period

0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 3>seems to be an evolutionary adaptation for cultural learning. Humans

0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:20.840
<v Speaker 3>have culture. Chimpanzees don't. They have a tiny bit, but

0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:23.800
<v Speaker 3>not really much, And so there's so much learning to

0:24:23.800 --> 0:24:26.320
<v Speaker 3>do in that period, and the way we learn is

0:24:26.480 --> 0:24:29.640
<v Speaker 3>through play and through trial and error and when kids

0:24:29.640 --> 0:24:31.560
<v Speaker 3>are out. You know, So did you play with fire

0:24:31.600 --> 0:24:33.360
<v Speaker 3>when you were a kid? Is that a girl thing?

0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:35.240
<v Speaker 3>Like boys? We all played with fire, I.

0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:37.760
<v Speaker 1>Mean a little bit, not too much. But I wasn't

0:24:37.760 --> 0:24:38.680
<v Speaker 1>too much of a pyro.

0:24:39.000 --> 0:24:40.600
<v Speaker 3>Okay, we all were blue.

0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, I didn't sniff it. I just put it

0:24:42.840 --> 0:24:43.439
<v Speaker 1>on my hands.

0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:44.960
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, I hold it off, yes, the way I

0:24:45.000 --> 0:24:47.840
<v Speaker 3>remember that feeling. Yes. Yeah, so we you know, we

0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 3>would build a you know, we stole lumber and built

0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:52.719
<v Speaker 3>a little shack for ourselves in the you know, some

0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:56.480
<v Speaker 3>trees behind my house. Yeah, but you know, there's attraction

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:58.119
<v Speaker 3>to fire. I mean, fire is a big part of

0:24:58.240 --> 0:25:00.119
<v Speaker 3>evolutionary history. It's a real part of the human and

0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:02.480
<v Speaker 3>stories fire And so you let kids play with fire,

0:25:02.520 --> 0:25:04.440
<v Speaker 3>and they learn it, they master it, they feel comfortable

0:25:04.440 --> 0:25:06.840
<v Speaker 3>with it. So that was a normal human childhood. And

0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:10.000
<v Speaker 3>everyone got burned, Like at some point, you burn yourself,

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:12.480
<v Speaker 3>maybe burn yourself on the stove, maybe you burn yourself

0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:14.960
<v Speaker 3>on a match, and then you learn from trial and error, Oh,

0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:17.600
<v Speaker 3>be careful of the hot parts. That's the way humans

0:25:17.600 --> 0:25:18.640
<v Speaker 3>have always learned, right.

0:25:18.800 --> 0:25:21.600
<v Speaker 1>Or you're running around and you trip on something and

0:25:21.640 --> 0:25:25.199
<v Speaker 1>you skin your knee, or you hurt yourself in other ways,

0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:29.640
<v Speaker 1>and you kind of learn coordination and you know areas

0:25:29.680 --> 0:25:32.400
<v Speaker 1>to stay away from all those kind of little lessons.

0:25:32.520 --> 0:25:35.119
<v Speaker 3>That's exactly. So all of that comes about through trial

0:25:35.160 --> 0:25:37.679
<v Speaker 3>and error. We have to have these experiences, we have

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:39.520
<v Speaker 3>to fall down, we have to have the setback, so

0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:43.280
<v Speaker 3>we learn a lot from those. But what happened beginning

0:25:43.280 --> 0:25:47.080
<v Speaker 3>in the eighties and especially in the nineties was Americans

0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:49.679
<v Speaker 3>began to freak out about dangers to their children, the

0:25:49.760 --> 0:25:53.760
<v Speaker 3>main danger being stranger danger kidnapping. Now, there's very little

0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:57.479
<v Speaker 3>kidnapping in this country, thankfully. When it happens, it's mostly

0:25:57.480 --> 0:26:01.000
<v Speaker 3>the non custodial parent. A true kidnapping by a stranger.

0:26:01.600 --> 0:26:04.080
<v Speaker 3>FBI stats it's in the ballpark of one hundred a year,

0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 3>which in a gigantic country, that means you're much more

0:26:07.119 --> 0:26:09.640
<v Speaker 3>likely be struck by lightning than that. But of course

0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:11.600
<v Speaker 3>it looms large in your minds, and with cable TV,

0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:15.040
<v Speaker 3>we all would then follow the few cases, so we

0:26:15.119 --> 0:26:17.520
<v Speaker 3>had the feeling, and this is called the availability loss.

0:26:17.560 --> 0:26:19.040
<v Speaker 1>For example, remember.

0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:21.560
<v Speaker 3>That I don't remember that particular one.

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:24.360
<v Speaker 1>Yes, and then that led to three strikes anyway, Oh.

0:26:24.280 --> 0:26:26.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, that's right, Megan's law. There are all kinds

0:26:26.880 --> 0:26:30.000
<v Speaker 3>of laws, and anyway, I don't mean to minimize that

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:32.399
<v Speaker 3>particular issue, except to say it looms so large in

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 3>the public mind that we began to think, if we

0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:38.240
<v Speaker 3>let our kids out, someone's going to take them. And

0:26:38.720 --> 0:26:40.400
<v Speaker 3>the previous assumption had been if we let our kids

0:26:40.400 --> 0:26:43.520
<v Speaker 3>out in trouble, someone's going to help them, you know,

0:26:43.800 --> 0:26:45.719
<v Speaker 3>like if I fell down on my bicycle and was

0:26:45.760 --> 0:26:48.240
<v Speaker 3>you know, was actually injured, you know, like you could

0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:49.679
<v Speaker 3>knock on the doorbell of the person, like, you know,

0:26:49.680 --> 0:26:51.920
<v Speaker 3>can you call my mother, and they would call your mother.

0:26:52.480 --> 0:26:54.399
<v Speaker 3>But in the eighties, for a lot of variety of

0:26:54.480 --> 0:26:56.920
<v Speaker 3>sociological reasons, we lost trust in each other. We began

0:26:56.920 --> 0:26:59.600
<v Speaker 3>to lose trust in each other. There were scandals, some

0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:01.680
<v Speaker 3>of them were totally fake, like the daycare sex abuse

0:27:01.720 --> 0:27:05.200
<v Speaker 3>scandals that never happened, but people were afraid, oh my god,

0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 3>even in daycare, my kids will be sexually molested. So

0:27:08.080 --> 0:27:10.320
<v Speaker 3>once we became paranoid about other adults, that meant we

0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:11.880
<v Speaker 3>had to do all the work ourselves, and that means

0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:15.920
<v Speaker 3>especially mothers. So mothers were really judged by how well

0:27:15.960 --> 0:27:19.560
<v Speaker 3>they were protecting their kids from dangers, and this intensifies

0:27:19.600 --> 0:27:21.640
<v Speaker 3>in the nineties, which is the same decade that the

0:27:21.640 --> 0:27:24.720
<v Speaker 3>Internet comes in, and now everyone's got a personal computer,

0:27:24.760 --> 0:27:27.080
<v Speaker 3>and then you get an internet connection, and so you

0:27:27.119 --> 0:27:29.200
<v Speaker 3>can either have your kids running around outside where you're

0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:33.119
<v Speaker 3>afraid they'll be abducted, or they can sit inside on

0:27:33.160 --> 0:27:35.640
<v Speaker 3>a computer, which will make them smarter. Right, So I'd

0:27:35.720 --> 0:27:37.600
<v Speaker 3>much rather have them be sitting inside on a computer

0:27:37.640 --> 0:27:40.280
<v Speaker 3>and where they're learning things. It's great, we had no

0:27:40.359 --> 0:27:41.399
<v Speaker 3>idea what we were doing.

0:27:42.400 --> 0:27:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Add to that this whole notion of helicopter parenting, right,

0:27:46.400 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 1>it was almost taking it a notch further as parents

0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:53.000
<v Speaker 1>started not only over protecting their children but kind of

0:27:53.080 --> 0:27:57.040
<v Speaker 1>now it's called snowplow parenting, but doing things, you know,

0:27:57.119 --> 0:28:01.080
<v Speaker 1>micromanaging their whole lives and giving them very little freedom

0:28:01.160 --> 0:28:04.440
<v Speaker 1>to hopefully ensure their success whatever that might mean.

0:28:04.520 --> 0:28:07.119
<v Speaker 3>That's right, which is paradoxical, because if you want your

0:28:07.160 --> 0:28:09.520
<v Speaker 3>kid to be successful in life, the last thing you

0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:12.080
<v Speaker 3>should do is make them successful at everything they try.

0:28:12.560 --> 0:28:15.359
<v Speaker 3>You need to let them struggle. Kids. As I said before,

0:28:15.400 --> 0:28:17.080
<v Speaker 3>we learned from trial and error. We learn a lot

0:28:17.119 --> 0:28:19.280
<v Speaker 3>more from our failures and mistakes than from our successes.

0:28:19.320 --> 0:28:22.480
<v Speaker 3>So they have to have those failures. We are anti fragile.

0:28:22.920 --> 0:28:24.880
<v Speaker 3>That means if you treat your kid as that they're fragile,

0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:27.119
<v Speaker 3>and you say, oh my god, if someone teases my child,

0:28:27.880 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 3>they'll be hurt. If someone excludes my child, she'll be hurt. Like, no,

0:28:31.840 --> 0:28:34.520
<v Speaker 3>your kid needs to be excluded, sometimes not too much,

0:28:34.600 --> 0:28:37.760
<v Speaker 3>but kids need all the negatives. Then they realize I

0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:38.440
<v Speaker 3>can survive this.

0:28:38.600 --> 0:28:41.400
<v Speaker 1>Right, here's what develop coping mechan That's right exactly. I

0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:44.440
<v Speaker 1>want to talk to you about the mental health repercussions

0:28:44.520 --> 0:28:48.000
<v Speaker 1>of this period of time between twenty ten and twenty fifteen,

0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:51.600
<v Speaker 1>because that I think is sort of the siren call

0:28:51.760 --> 0:28:56.600
<v Speaker 1>of this book and something that is really very disturbing

0:28:56.720 --> 0:29:00.160
<v Speaker 1>and upsetting. Can you talk about the things that have

0:29:00.360 --> 0:29:05.360
<v Speaker 1>increased as a result you believe of this constant well,

0:29:05.440 --> 0:29:06.840
<v Speaker 1>this addiction to your iPhone?

0:29:06.920 --> 0:29:10.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah sure so. So first, the way to understand it

0:29:10.560 --> 0:29:12.560
<v Speaker 3>is not any one thing. It's not like just social

0:29:12.680 --> 0:29:16.320
<v Speaker 3>media or just video games. It's the transition from what

0:29:16.360 --> 0:29:19.360
<v Speaker 3>I've called a play based childhood, where plays you know,

0:29:19.400 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 3>you're out hanging out with your friends, that's the normal

0:29:21.040 --> 0:29:23.520
<v Speaker 3>thing you do, to a phone based childhood where most

0:29:23.560 --> 0:29:26.320
<v Speaker 3>stuff is coming through the screen, So it's that transition.

0:29:26.360 --> 0:29:29.360
<v Speaker 3>So what does it do. The things that go up

0:29:30.040 --> 0:29:33.520
<v Speaker 3>a lot are especially it's not all mental disorders, it's

0:29:33.600 --> 0:29:36.280
<v Speaker 3>especially those related to anxiety and depression. Those are the

0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:41.440
<v Speaker 3>core mental illnesses that have increased dramatically. So you know

0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:43.680
<v Speaker 3>between fifteen, one hundred and fifty percent, depending on what

0:29:43.760 --> 0:29:47.240
<v Speaker 3>measure and what age group you're talking about, the most dramatic.

0:29:47.320 --> 0:29:49.640
<v Speaker 3>So some of my critics say, oh, you know, that's

0:29:49.640 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 3>just self report, Like girls are saying they're depressed because

0:29:52.600 --> 0:29:54.240
<v Speaker 3>you know, the stigma is reduced, and that's a good

0:29:54.240 --> 0:29:56.400
<v Speaker 3>thing that they're just reporting and more. But the kids

0:29:56.440 --> 0:29:59.040
<v Speaker 3>are all right, there's no change, there's nothing going on here.

0:29:59.040 --> 0:30:02.120
<v Speaker 3>It's just another moral pen This is the main pushback

0:30:02.160 --> 0:30:04.840
<v Speaker 3>I get to my book, to which I say, it's

0:30:04.880 --> 0:30:07.880
<v Speaker 3>a plausible hypothesis. You know, there are definitely changes in

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:12.160
<v Speaker 3>diagnostic criteria over time that could be it. So let's

0:30:12.200 --> 0:30:14.760
<v Speaker 3>look at some things that don't involve self report, that

0:30:14.840 --> 0:30:17.800
<v Speaker 3>don't involve asking kids questions about how do you feel today.

0:30:18.600 --> 0:30:22.240
<v Speaker 3>Let's look at hospitalizations or emergency room visits for self harm.

0:30:22.440 --> 0:30:25.160
<v Speaker 3>Intentional self harm, which is a thing that girls have

0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:27.120
<v Speaker 3>always done much more than boys. When they hit puberty,

0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:32.160
<v Speaker 3>girls become more depressed and anxious than boys. They rise

0:30:32.240 --> 0:30:35.680
<v Speaker 3>up on that. That's always been the case and one

0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:38.360
<v Speaker 3>way of dealing with anxiety. It's hard for people to understand.

0:30:38.760 --> 0:30:42.000
<v Speaker 3>Cutting yourself is not a suicide attempt. It's a thing

0:30:42.080 --> 0:30:45.800
<v Speaker 3>that many teenage girls do. It's somehow it manages their anxiety,

0:30:46.000 --> 0:30:49.160
<v Speaker 3>but it's terrifying. I mean to see your child bloody

0:30:49.480 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 3>from her own hand. And these numbers go up like

0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:56.880
<v Speaker 3>fifty to eighty percent for the older teen girls, one

0:30:57.000 --> 0:30:59.880
<v Speaker 3>hundred and eighty percent for the younger teen girls. The

0:31:00.080 --> 0:31:02.560
<v Speaker 3>CDC breaks up the data the ten to fourteen year olds.

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:04.440
<v Speaker 3>Whenever you look at the ten to fourteen year old girls,

0:31:04.920 --> 0:31:08.640
<v Speaker 3>you see gigantic increases, more than doubling, sometimes almost tripling.

0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:10.840
<v Speaker 3>So that's one of the most alarming things. And that

0:31:11.440 --> 0:31:16.160
<v Speaker 3>the same thing happened in Canada, in Britain, in Australia

0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:18.600
<v Speaker 3>and New Zealand and a lot of other countries. That

0:31:18.720 --> 0:31:20.240
<v Speaker 3>all happened, that all began to go up in the

0:31:20.280 --> 0:31:23.600
<v Speaker 3>early twenty ten. So something is really happening, especially to

0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:25.240
<v Speaker 3>girls in that period.

0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Not only self harm, but let's talk about suicides. Because

0:31:29.960 --> 0:31:34.320
<v Speaker 1>that is also really really scary. I know that Vivig Murphy,

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:37.520
<v Speaker 1>who's a surgeon general, who was also the surgeon General

0:31:37.600 --> 0:31:42.640
<v Speaker 1>during the Obama administration, issued and advisory talk about suicide

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:45.320
<v Speaker 1>rates and suicidal ideation.

0:31:45.720 --> 0:31:49.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Sure, So suicide is actually going down around the

0:31:49.920 --> 0:31:52.480
<v Speaker 3>world since the year two thousand ers. So there's been

0:31:52.520 --> 0:31:55.080
<v Speaker 3>a global decline in suicide. The number of reasons for that,

0:31:55.120 --> 0:31:57.120
<v Speaker 3>nobody really knows why, but it's been going down overall.

0:31:57.320 --> 0:32:00.000
<v Speaker 3>And some people say, oh, see, this disproves your thesis

0:32:00.120 --> 0:32:02.400
<v Speaker 3>is because you know, as smartphones were coming in, the

0:32:02.400 --> 0:32:04.400
<v Speaker 3>suicide rate is going down, so it can't be the

0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:07.960
<v Speaker 3>smartphones are bad. But when you break out the suicide

0:32:08.000 --> 0:32:11.800
<v Speaker 3>stats by age and sex, what you see is is

0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:16.160
<v Speaker 3>going down for everybody except for teenage girls and teenage boys.

0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:20.440
<v Speaker 3>Teenage boys are up, are up more recently, but teenage

0:32:20.440 --> 0:32:22.160
<v Speaker 3>girls all around the world, or at least in the

0:32:22.200 --> 0:32:24.280
<v Speaker 3>western world, I should in the developed world, they begin

0:32:24.320 --> 0:32:28.240
<v Speaker 3>going up in the mid early to mid twenty tens.

0:32:28.520 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 1>The statistics you report in the book about anxiety, depressions, suicide,

0:32:34.000 --> 0:32:38.320
<v Speaker 1>self harm, et cetera. Are really staggering and very upsetting.

0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:42.920
<v Speaker 1>They have been publicized by the Surgeon General's Office. Rates

0:32:42.920 --> 0:32:45.560
<v Speaker 1>of depression and anxiety in the US rose by more

0:32:45.560 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 1>than fifty percent from twenty ten to twenty nineteen. The

0:32:49.040 --> 0:32:52.920
<v Speaker 1>suicide rate rose forty eight percent for adolescence between the

0:32:52.960 --> 0:32:56.960
<v Speaker 1>ages of ten and nineteen, and for girls ages ten

0:32:57.080 --> 0:33:02.320
<v Speaker 1>to fourteen, the suicide rate rows one hundred and thirty

0:33:02.400 --> 0:33:03.240
<v Speaker 1>one percent.

0:33:03.920 --> 0:33:06.600
<v Speaker 3>That's right. Whenever you look at the younger teen girls,

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:11.000
<v Speaker 3>you see astonishing increases, and it's very sharp. It wasn't

0:33:11.040 --> 0:33:13.800
<v Speaker 3>like they they just gradually went up. There's actually, I

0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:18.640
<v Speaker 3>think a fifty percent increase between twenty twelve and twenty thirteen.

0:33:18.680 --> 0:33:21.360
<v Speaker 3>In that single year, there's a fifty percent increase, and

0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:23.280
<v Speaker 3>then the rage just keeps going up from there. So

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:27.440
<v Speaker 3>that I think is also very clear evidence that something

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:29.520
<v Speaker 3>changed in the early twenty tens. Now, I should also

0:33:29.560 --> 0:33:32.520
<v Speaker 3>make clear we've been focusing on the girls. Boys have

0:33:32.640 --> 0:33:35.120
<v Speaker 3>much higher rates of suicide than girls do. Boys are

0:33:35.160 --> 0:33:38.360
<v Speaker 3>much more risk of suicide. Girls make more attempts. Girls

0:33:38.360 --> 0:33:40.600
<v Speaker 3>say they think about suicide more often. In fact, now

0:33:40.840 --> 0:33:43.160
<v Speaker 3>I think it's thirty percent of American girls say they've

0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:45.520
<v Speaker 3>made a suicide planner, They've thought seriously about suicide. In

0:33:45.520 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 3>the last year it used to be I think it

0:33:47.160 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 3>was nineteen percent in twenty ten something like that, so

0:33:50.320 --> 0:33:53.160
<v Speaker 3>it's way up. But girls, when they make attempts, they

0:33:53.200 --> 0:33:56.160
<v Speaker 3>tend to use reversible means, either cutting their wrists or

0:33:56.240 --> 0:33:59.840
<v Speaker 3>taking their psychiatric medications and overdose of them something like that.

0:34:00.600 --> 0:34:04.000
<v Speaker 3>Boys make fewer attempts, but when boys make attempts, they

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 3>tend to use a gun or a tall building, and

0:34:06.600 --> 0:34:09.440
<v Speaker 3>so boys attempts tend to be not reversible, and so

0:34:09.640 --> 0:34:11.360
<v Speaker 3>that's why they end up with two or three times

0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:13.880
<v Speaker 3>the rate of actual suicide. So we have to really

0:34:13.920 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 3>attend to boys as well. But it's not linked to

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.080
<v Speaker 3>social media as clearly as it is for the girls.

0:34:18.200 --> 0:34:22.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, let's talk about what specifically you know, because there's

0:34:22.239 --> 0:34:24.880
<v Speaker 1>a lot of things on your iPhone. There's social media,

0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:28.839
<v Speaker 1>they're also group chats, they're all kinds of things. There

0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:30.960
<v Speaker 1>are things that are being sent to you. If you

0:34:31.040 --> 0:34:34.160
<v Speaker 1>google something about eating disorders, you might get all sorts

0:34:34.200 --> 0:34:37.719
<v Speaker 1>of content. Is there anything specific that you were able

0:34:37.760 --> 0:34:41.040
<v Speaker 1>to parse out that seems to be behind these numbers?

0:34:41.360 --> 0:34:44.280
<v Speaker 3>Well, so for suicide, it's very hard to say because

0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:47.239
<v Speaker 3>suicide is still so rare, thankfully, so we don't really

0:34:47.239 --> 0:34:49.640
<v Speaker 3>have studies saying, you know, before she killed herself, she

0:34:49.719 --> 0:34:51.840
<v Speaker 3>did this and that's right, So we don't tend to

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:55.879
<v Speaker 3>have that data. What I suspect is happening is it's

0:34:55.920 --> 0:34:59.560
<v Speaker 3>incredibly painful to be publicly shamed. It's incredibly painful to

0:34:59.560 --> 0:35:03.040
<v Speaker 3>be exclus alluded, to be a pariah. That's social death,

0:35:03.680 --> 0:35:09.200
<v Speaker 3>and the being on social media makes it possible to

0:35:09.440 --> 0:35:13.239
<v Speaker 3>be shamed at a magnitude far beyond what we could

0:35:13.280 --> 0:35:15.759
<v Speaker 3>ever have imagined when we were young. So you might

0:35:15.800 --> 0:35:17.160
<v Speaker 3>say something, you make a bad joke.

0:35:17.480 --> 0:35:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Is it like virtual bullying?

0:35:20.040 --> 0:35:22.879
<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's because the mob dynamics of social media are

0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:25.000
<v Speaker 3>such that it used to be if you said something

0:35:25.040 --> 0:35:29.240
<v Speaker 3>stupid or to your friend, your acquaintance group, and someone

0:35:29.320 --> 0:35:31.360
<v Speaker 3>was offended, they might spread rumors about you, and that

0:35:31.360 --> 0:35:34.720
<v Speaker 3>would painful to learn, but it wouldn't be the entire school,

0:35:34.760 --> 0:35:36.879
<v Speaker 3>and they wouldn't all be adding on and laughing at

0:35:36.920 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 3>you in a way that you can see. Things were

0:35:40.040 --> 0:35:43.440
<v Speaker 3>little back then. But with social media there's no limit

0:35:43.480 --> 0:35:45.080
<v Speaker 3>to how big it can get, and so it could

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:47.080
<v Speaker 3>even go national with this stupid thing you said, or

0:35:47.040 --> 0:35:49.640
<v Speaker 3>it could go national. It's with you for the rest

0:35:49.680 --> 0:35:52.399
<v Speaker 3>of your life and when it's happening. In those first

0:35:52.480 --> 0:35:55.920
<v Speaker 3>days when something is going viral, we have these innate

0:35:56.320 --> 0:36:00.319
<v Speaker 3>social psychological mechanism that are always monitoring our reputation. How

0:36:00.320 --> 0:36:02.040
<v Speaker 3>am I doing? How am I doing? What do people

0:36:02.040 --> 0:36:04.759
<v Speaker 3>think of me? And especially if you're in an early teen,

0:36:04.840 --> 0:36:06.879
<v Speaker 3>you're so insecure about it, and.

0:36:06.800 --> 0:36:08.880
<v Speaker 1>So you're just developing your sense of self.

0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:10.800
<v Speaker 3>That's right. You know, you were in fifth grade a

0:36:10.800 --> 0:36:12.440
<v Speaker 3>couple of years ago, and it was fun. You were

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:14.160
<v Speaker 3>playing with toys.

0:36:13.800 --> 0:36:16.959
<v Speaker 1>And also your hormones or rating your body.

0:36:17.040 --> 0:36:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Your body's changing, that's right. That's right, which is another

0:36:19.680 --> 0:36:21.759
<v Speaker 3>reason it's hardest for girls because their bodies change more

0:36:21.800 --> 0:36:24.360
<v Speaker 3>visibly in ways that the public, that other people respond to.

0:36:25.280 --> 0:36:28.600
<v Speaker 1>And also the fact that so many girls post pictures

0:36:28.640 --> 0:36:32.040
<v Speaker 1>of themselves and bikinis, and then that results in a

0:36:32.040 --> 0:36:37.920
<v Speaker 1>lot of you know, eating disorders and feeling insecure about

0:36:38.120 --> 0:36:39.799
<v Speaker 1>unattainable beauty standards.

0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:42.640
<v Speaker 3>Exactly. That's right. So you know, when you and I

0:36:42.719 --> 0:36:45.160
<v Speaker 3>were growing up, there's a lot of talk about, oh,

0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:47.319
<v Speaker 3>you know, all these models and the magazines. It's really

0:36:47.360 --> 0:36:49.320
<v Speaker 3>bad for our girls. They shouldn't be seeing these super

0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:52.360
<v Speaker 3>thin models. And everyone's saying this is beauty, And yeah,

0:36:52.760 --> 0:36:56.000
<v Speaker 3>that was right. That was hard for girls. Well just

0:36:56.080 --> 0:36:57.920
<v Speaker 3>think how much harder it is when it's not some

0:36:58.120 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 3>strange adult in a magazine. It's literally all the people

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:06.320
<v Speaker 3>you know posting photos in which they look more beautiful

0:37:06.320 --> 0:37:07.879
<v Speaker 3>than they do in real life. And you might even

0:37:07.880 --> 0:37:10.800
<v Speaker 3>know they're using filters, but unconsciously your brain is saying,

0:37:10.960 --> 0:37:13.040
<v Speaker 3>she's more beautiful than me, her life is more perfect

0:37:13.080 --> 0:37:14.960
<v Speaker 3>than me. Why don't I have a car like Why

0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:18.239
<v Speaker 3>doesn't my family have a car like that? So so,

0:37:18.400 --> 0:37:21.239
<v Speaker 3>for all these reasons, spending a lot of time on

0:37:21.280 --> 0:37:24.319
<v Speaker 3>Instagram in particular, it just really fosters a lot of

0:37:24.320 --> 0:37:26.920
<v Speaker 3>social comparison, which is hard for all kids, but especially

0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:29.799
<v Speaker 3>for the younger teen girls. So why I'm just so

0:37:29.920 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 3>adamant we really have to get this all out of

0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:36.680
<v Speaker 3>middle school. Just don't try to make it nicer, don't

0:37:36.719 --> 0:37:40.240
<v Speaker 3>try to filter things and remove the eating disorder content.

0:37:40.520 --> 0:37:42.359
<v Speaker 3>Just keep them the hell off. Yeah.

0:37:42.400 --> 0:37:45.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to talk to you about solutions in a moment,

0:37:45.160 --> 0:37:47.080
<v Speaker 1>but I want to tell you this terrible story I

0:37:47.120 --> 0:37:49.359
<v Speaker 1>heard this morning when I was taking a walk with

0:37:49.400 --> 0:37:52.239
<v Speaker 1>the friend. She had read this story, and I'm going

0:37:52.320 --> 0:37:55.960
<v Speaker 1>to find it to verify it that a young man

0:37:56.000 --> 0:37:59.640
<v Speaker 1>in Michigan his phone got hacked. He was sent this

0:37:59.760 --> 0:38:02.360
<v Speaker 1>very seductive picture. Do you know this story?

0:38:02.480 --> 0:38:04.000
<v Speaker 3>No, but this is a six story story.

0:38:04.040 --> 0:38:10.120
<v Speaker 1>I go ahead, and this woman, I guess, said, you

0:38:10.160 --> 0:38:12.040
<v Speaker 1>know I really like you or I mean just I

0:38:12.080 --> 0:38:15.280
<v Speaker 1>don't know, and send me a nude photo of yourself.

0:38:15.880 --> 0:38:19.919
<v Speaker 1>The young man did, and then they were told that

0:38:20.000 --> 0:38:23.280
<v Speaker 1>we were going to blackmail you. Send five hundred dollars.

0:38:23.640 --> 0:38:25.799
<v Speaker 1>Now send another five hundred. This is, you know, like

0:38:25.880 --> 0:38:29.719
<v Speaker 1>eleventh grader. Finally, he said, we know everything about you.

0:38:29.920 --> 0:38:32.560
<v Speaker 1>We know your family, we know your siblings, we know

0:38:32.840 --> 0:38:36.600
<v Speaker 1>all of this information. We are going to destroy your life.

0:38:37.040 --> 0:38:38.240
<v Speaker 3>That suicide.

0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:41.719
<v Speaker 1>He killed himself. This was like the captain of the

0:38:41.760 --> 0:38:45.000
<v Speaker 1>football team, a kid everyone loved, from a nice family.

0:38:45.880 --> 0:38:49.400
<v Speaker 1>And it was so sick and so upsetting. And I

0:38:49.400 --> 0:38:54.040
<v Speaker 1>guess the FBI traced it to some Nigerian scam, but

0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:56.560
<v Speaker 1>that is so terrible.

0:38:56.800 --> 0:38:58.320
<v Speaker 3>These are the most and I've got some stories that

0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:00.960
<v Speaker 3>are even more horrible than that. But we don't know

0:39:01.000 --> 0:39:03.520
<v Speaker 3>how many this is happening to. But this is not

0:39:03.640 --> 0:39:06.360
<v Speaker 3>just like this thing happened to one kid. This has happened.

0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:08.200
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how many. But this is happening to

0:39:08.239 --> 0:39:11.160
<v Speaker 3>a bunch of kids. So this boy was not depressed.

0:39:11.360 --> 0:39:14.080
<v Speaker 3>This is not like, oh he was depressed and killed himself. No, No,

0:39:14.640 --> 0:39:17.719
<v Speaker 3>he was driven by fear and shame and horror into

0:39:17.800 --> 0:39:18.560
<v Speaker 3>killing himself and.

0:39:18.560 --> 0:39:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Then they started harassing his girlfriend.

0:39:21.840 --> 0:39:24.279
<v Speaker 3>So what I want parents to think about here is,

0:39:24.760 --> 0:39:27.440
<v Speaker 3>of course, we don't want our kids hanging out with

0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:31.600
<v Speaker 3>creeps that might sexually molest them. We don't want them

0:39:32.000 --> 0:39:34.839
<v Speaker 3>to go out into the world where where such things

0:39:34.920 --> 0:39:37.799
<v Speaker 3>can happen to them. But guess what, the creeps and

0:39:37.840 --> 0:39:41.880
<v Speaker 3>predators are not at your child's playground. They're on Instagram.

0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:44.520
<v Speaker 3>That's literally where they're hanging out because that's how they

0:39:44.520 --> 0:39:46.799
<v Speaker 3>can get to young girls, especially, and they can ask

0:39:46.800 --> 0:39:50.319
<v Speaker 3>for photos and they can pretend to be somebody they're not. So,

0:39:50.640 --> 0:39:52.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, I can summarize my whole book by saying,

0:39:52.560 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 3>we have overprotected our children in the real world, we

0:39:55.120 --> 0:39:58.279
<v Speaker 3>have underprotected them online. And the fact that some number

0:39:58.320 --> 0:39:59.840
<v Speaker 3>of kids, you know, is it hundreds, Is it that

0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:02.840
<v Speaker 3>since I don't know, get sex storted. I mean, this

0:40:03.000 --> 0:40:05.080
<v Speaker 3>is a thing now and now it's so profitable. There

0:40:05.080 --> 0:40:07.080
<v Speaker 3>are sextortion rings all around the world that are praying

0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 3>on children. Why would you let your child do something

0:40:11.400 --> 0:40:16.000
<v Speaker 3>where strangers with bad intent can get to them?

0:40:16.480 --> 0:40:19.520
<v Speaker 1>After the break some good news? Why Jonathan thinks we're

0:40:19.520 --> 0:40:23.279
<v Speaker 1>at a tipping point where everyone is starting to not

0:40:23.320 --> 0:40:33.840
<v Speaker 1>only talk about this but take action. Now more of

0:40:33.880 --> 0:40:39.319
<v Speaker 1>my conversation with the one and only Jonathan Height. I

0:40:39.400 --> 0:40:43.520
<v Speaker 1>know that you've been to Capitol Hill and this conversation

0:40:43.600 --> 0:40:47.040
<v Speaker 1>has been going on a long time, but nothing seems

0:40:47.080 --> 0:40:49.200
<v Speaker 1>to get done. Do you feel like we're at a

0:40:49.200 --> 0:40:55.600
<v Speaker 1>tipping points, both by American parents and adults and also

0:40:55.840 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 1>by our leaders in Congress? And if so, what do

0:40:59.760 --> 0:41:02.799
<v Speaker 1>you say see them doing? Because it's frustrating that more

0:41:02.880 --> 0:41:04.239
<v Speaker 1>hasn't been done already.

0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:07.080
<v Speaker 3>That's right. I am certain we are at a tipping point.

0:41:07.080 --> 0:41:10.480
<v Speaker 3>And here's how I know. Before COVID, when I was

0:41:10.680 --> 0:41:13.839
<v Speaker 3>really began working on this, there was some ambiguity as

0:41:13.840 --> 0:41:15.319
<v Speaker 3>to what was the cause. We didn't know what to.

0:41:15.280 --> 0:41:18.960
<v Speaker 1>Do itation versus correlation, That's right.

0:41:19.320 --> 0:41:21.680
<v Speaker 3>And then you know in gene Tweengie and I were

0:41:21.719 --> 0:41:23.560
<v Speaker 3>sort of trying to demonstrate, look, there's actually a lot

0:41:23.560 --> 0:41:27.279
<v Speaker 3>of evidence of causation, and then COVID comes in confuses

0:41:27.280 --> 0:41:30.239
<v Speaker 3>everybody changes everything. Of course, our kids are spending all

0:41:30.320 --> 0:41:33.000
<v Speaker 3>day on screens now, and then when COVID fades away

0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:35.480
<v Speaker 3>and our kids are going back to school, there's still

0:41:35.640 --> 0:41:39.120
<v Speaker 3>really the depression and anxiety rates are still extremely high.

0:41:39.120 --> 0:41:42.400
<v Speaker 3>They're not really going down. So now it's clear, and

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:45.080
<v Speaker 3>now everyone has seen it. Everyone is seen more about

0:41:45.080 --> 0:41:47.160
<v Speaker 3>what happens when their kids are online all day. So

0:41:47.160 --> 0:41:50.239
<v Speaker 3>there's an emerging sense among parents that this is just

0:41:50.360 --> 0:41:53.960
<v Speaker 3>really bad for our kids. And it's totally bipartisan. So

0:41:54.000 --> 0:41:56.000
<v Speaker 3>here's why I'm confident that things are going to change

0:41:56.120 --> 0:41:59.279
<v Speaker 3>in our incredibly divided country where our Congress can't really

0:41:59.360 --> 0:42:01.480
<v Speaker 3>do anything because if one side likes it, the other

0:42:01.560 --> 0:42:06.040
<v Speaker 3>sides against it. Right, everyone just about sees the problem.

0:42:06.080 --> 0:42:09.040
<v Speaker 3>Most legislators are parents, Most of our congress people are parents.

0:42:09.360 --> 0:42:12.040
<v Speaker 3>And what I went down I was giving some talks

0:42:12.040 --> 0:42:14.279
<v Speaker 3>in Washington. I met with some members of Congress and

0:42:14.320 --> 0:42:17.400
<v Speaker 3>the group I met with a volunteer to come. It

0:42:17.440 --> 0:42:20.120
<v Speaker 3>was half Democrats, half Republicans. There are a couple of

0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:22.040
<v Speaker 3>bills that I think have a really good chance of passages.

0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:24.640
<v Speaker 3>The main one is COSA, the Kids Online Safety Act,

0:42:25.000 --> 0:42:28.480
<v Speaker 3>which requires the companies to assume a duty of care.

0:42:28.520 --> 0:42:30.720
<v Speaker 3>That is, they have to realize children are not adults.

0:42:31.040 --> 0:42:32.960
<v Speaker 3>You can't do the dirty tricks you do on adults.

0:42:33.000 --> 0:42:34.839
<v Speaker 3>You can't do those to kids. You have to give

0:42:34.840 --> 0:42:37.320
<v Speaker 3>them more private you can't make them discover by strangers.

0:42:37.560 --> 0:42:41.160
<v Speaker 3>So cosa I'm really hopeful that really could pass this year.

0:42:42.040 --> 0:42:44.120
<v Speaker 3>The big thing that we need to protect kids is

0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:47.200
<v Speaker 3>to raise the age from thirteen to sixteen. Congress set

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:50.440
<v Speaker 3>a law in nineteen ninety eight that said you have

0:42:50.520 --> 0:42:52.520
<v Speaker 3>to be thirteen years old in order to sign a

0:42:52.520 --> 0:42:54.200
<v Speaker 3>contract with a company like AOL or whatever.

0:42:54.480 --> 0:42:56.200
<v Speaker 1>You get around that. Though, well, hold, wait.

0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.960
<v Speaker 3>Hold on. The law says, at what age can a

0:42:59.000 --> 0:43:01.560
<v Speaker 3>company just take your day without your parents even knowing

0:43:01.640 --> 0:43:04.880
<v Speaker 3>about it? Or And what Congress said was, as long

0:43:04.920 --> 0:43:07.000
<v Speaker 3>as you're thirteen, will treat you like an adult, and

0:43:07.040 --> 0:43:09.520
<v Speaker 3>you can make deals with companies without even your parents

0:43:09.560 --> 0:43:12.319
<v Speaker 3>knowing or giving permission. But oh, by the way, the

0:43:12.360 --> 0:43:15.080
<v Speaker 3>lobbyists god is to gut the enforcement procedures. So as

0:43:15.080 --> 0:43:17.440
<v Speaker 3>long as the company doesn't know for sure that you're

0:43:17.520 --> 0:43:20.279
<v Speaker 3>under thirteen, they're okay. So as long as you say

0:43:20.280 --> 0:43:23.239
<v Speaker 3>you're thirteen, you can't sue the company for what they do, right,

0:43:23.360 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 3>So that's a terrible law in nineteen ninety eight, and

0:43:25.440 --> 0:43:28.280
<v Speaker 3>that was the last law Congress ever passed to protect

0:43:28.360 --> 0:43:30.680
<v Speaker 3>children or regulate the en It was complete failure, and

0:43:30.719 --> 0:43:34.000
<v Speaker 3>there's been zero since then. I think they realize it now.

0:43:34.120 --> 0:43:36.360
<v Speaker 3>And here's why I think it's going to change, because

0:43:36.680 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 3>politicians are very good at sensing when there is a

0:43:39.400 --> 0:43:41.640
<v Speaker 3>groundswell of public support. They want to be ahead of that,

0:43:41.719 --> 0:43:43.879
<v Speaker 3>not behind it. And so this is why I think

0:43:43.880 --> 0:43:45.560
<v Speaker 3>we're seeing a lot of action in the states, a

0:43:45.600 --> 0:43:46.520
<v Speaker 3>lot of state governors.

0:43:46.719 --> 0:43:49.640
<v Speaker 1>In Florida, Fia state you can't sign up for social

0:43:49.680 --> 0:43:50.440
<v Speaker 1>media until.

0:43:50.280 --> 0:43:54.279
<v Speaker 3>Till you're sixteen. Until you're sixteen, but with parents. So

0:43:54.280 --> 0:43:56.040
<v Speaker 3>that was original bills until you're sixteen, which is what

0:43:56.040 --> 0:44:00.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm advocating. But in Florida they in the lobbying and

0:44:00.239 --> 0:44:03.239
<v Speaker 3>they put in provision if you're fourteen or fifteen, you

0:44:03.400 --> 0:44:05.920
<v Speaker 3>can do it if you have your parents' permission. And

0:44:05.960 --> 0:44:08.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm okay with that because that will force the companies

0:44:08.560 --> 0:44:11.279
<v Speaker 3>to develop a way of getting parental permission, which they

0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:14.680
<v Speaker 3>don't want to do. But come on, we have to

0:44:14.960 --> 0:44:16.840
<v Speaker 3>One objection I get is, oh, the government shouldn't be

0:44:16.880 --> 0:44:18.360
<v Speaker 3>involved in this. It should be up to the parents

0:44:18.400 --> 0:44:21.000
<v Speaker 3>how they raise their kids. Yeah, but we can't control

0:44:21.040 --> 0:44:22.879
<v Speaker 3>it unless we lock our kids up and never let

0:44:22.880 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 3>them get near a web browser. Putting a requirement for

0:44:26.040 --> 0:44:29.680
<v Speaker 3>parental permission in the law will motivate the companies to

0:44:29.680 --> 0:44:31.640
<v Speaker 3>figure out how to do it, and then finally we

0:44:31.800 --> 0:44:34.879
<v Speaker 3>parents will have more tools to actually raise our kids

0:44:34.960 --> 0:44:35.680
<v Speaker 3>the way we want to.

0:44:35.880 --> 0:44:39.080
<v Speaker 1>And it's all about sort of working with other parents,

0:44:39.360 --> 0:44:42.640
<v Speaker 1>which I think is absolutely the key. And you have

0:44:42.760 --> 0:44:48.840
<v Speaker 1>recommendations for how we solve or maybe rewire our kids' brains.

0:44:48.880 --> 0:44:51.800
<v Speaker 1>Again back to I don't know, is it a lost

0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:52.959
<v Speaker 1>cause at some point?

0:44:53.040 --> 0:44:55.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Well, it's two different things. One is how do

0:44:55.600 --> 0:44:58.320
<v Speaker 3>we prevent jen alpha, which is let's say born after

0:44:58.360 --> 0:45:01.080
<v Speaker 3>twenty eleven ch Yeah, that you know, because they know

0:45:01.160 --> 0:45:02.720
<v Speaker 3>gen Z. You go back to alpha.

0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:05.000
<v Speaker 1>At the beginning, Whaney said, it was like, wasn't it

0:45:05.080 --> 0:45:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like polars?

0:45:06.000 --> 0:45:08.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, we'll see what name sticks, right, We

0:45:08.280 --> 0:45:10.400
<v Speaker 3>don't know yet. Yeah, but let's suppose it's going to

0:45:10.400 --> 0:45:13.680
<v Speaker 3>be jin alpha. So the most important thing is to

0:45:14.000 --> 0:45:16.600
<v Speaker 3>just stop them from getting sucked into this vortex that

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:19.200
<v Speaker 3>it consumed gen Z. The next thing is, well, when

0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:21.000
<v Speaker 3>we do to help the kids were born between nineteen

0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:24.600
<v Speaker 3>ninety six and twenty eleven. And so what I'm proposing

0:45:24.719 --> 0:45:28.120
<v Speaker 3>is four norms, which are hard to do if you're

0:45:28.160 --> 0:45:30.760
<v Speaker 3>acting on your own, but if a group of parents,

0:45:30.840 --> 0:45:33.400
<v Speaker 3>or especially if a community around a school does it,

0:45:33.440 --> 0:45:36.399
<v Speaker 3>they're actually easy to do. So here they are. One,

0:45:36.880 --> 0:45:40.319
<v Speaker 3>no smartphone before high school. Give kids a flip phone,

0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:43.720
<v Speaker 3>a phone, watch, or nothing, but delay smartphones until high school.

0:45:44.040 --> 0:45:46.880
<v Speaker 3>Two is no social media until sixteen. There's really no

0:45:46.920 --> 0:45:49.800
<v Speaker 3>way these things are unsafe at any speed for kids

0:45:49.840 --> 0:45:52.360
<v Speaker 3>going through puberty. Let them get through early puberty. The

0:45:52.440 --> 0:45:55.279
<v Speaker 3>third is phone free schools. Just put this. Put the

0:45:55.280 --> 0:45:57.719
<v Speaker 3>phones in a locker or a yonder pouch first thing

0:45:57.719 --> 0:45:59.239
<v Speaker 3>in the morning. I mean a special phone locker, not

0:45:59.280 --> 0:46:02.200
<v Speaker 3>your own personal locker. They have to be taken away

0:46:02.239 --> 0:46:05.319
<v Speaker 3>so that at lunch and between classes kids are talking

0:46:05.360 --> 0:46:07.520
<v Speaker 3>to each other they're not all looking at their phones.

0:46:07.600 --> 0:46:09.600
<v Speaker 1>My husband said, why can't there be a phone that

0:46:09.640 --> 0:46:12.239
<v Speaker 1>could be put on school mode. You know, we talked

0:46:12.239 --> 0:46:15.120
<v Speaker 1>about school shooting, so could there be something that says

0:46:16.120 --> 0:46:20.520
<v Speaker 1>it's only available to text to you know, your parents. Yes,

0:46:20.600 --> 0:46:23.319
<v Speaker 1>that would be John said, he's not an engineer, but

0:46:23.400 --> 0:46:24.560
<v Speaker 1>he thinks that's a good idea.

0:46:24.800 --> 0:46:27.520
<v Speaker 3>I know some people have advocated that Apple created school Mode.

0:46:27.520 --> 0:46:30.960
<v Speaker 3>It's better than nothing. But still, the idea is you

0:46:31.000 --> 0:46:32.719
<v Speaker 3>can be text with your parents all day long.

0:46:32.840 --> 0:46:35.359
<v Speaker 1>No, no, but if there's a school shooting or there's

0:46:35.360 --> 0:46:38.799
<v Speaker 1>something bad happens, I know that that's unlikely. But as

0:46:38.880 --> 0:46:41.800
<v Speaker 1>you and I have discussed before, that's one reason parents

0:46:41.880 --> 0:46:45.360
<v Speaker 1>really worry about not having their kids with a phone.

0:46:45.400 --> 0:46:48.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, I understand that. But but the experts on

0:46:48.120 --> 0:46:50.960
<v Speaker 3>school safety say is that you're much better off in

0:46:51.000 --> 0:46:53.600
<v Speaker 3>a school where the adults have a phone and the

0:46:53.680 --> 0:46:56.880
<v Speaker 3>kids are listening and following directions and they're quiet and

0:46:56.880 --> 0:46:59.400
<v Speaker 3>they're doing what they're supposed to do, rather than a

0:46:59.400 --> 0:47:01.880
<v Speaker 3>school and which as soon as there's a problem, everyone's

0:47:01.880 --> 0:47:04.080
<v Speaker 3>on their phone crying to their parents. That's just not

0:47:04.360 --> 0:47:06.200
<v Speaker 3>an effective way to deal with the school shooting.

0:47:06.360 --> 0:47:10.080
<v Speaker 1>And finally, it's more independence, free play, and responsibility in

0:47:10.120 --> 0:47:10.920
<v Speaker 1>the real world.

0:47:10.960 --> 0:47:13.440
<v Speaker 3>That's right, So this is really important. Discussion tends to

0:47:13.440 --> 0:47:15.920
<v Speaker 3>focus on the phones because that's what we're all upset about.

0:47:15.960 --> 0:47:17.479
<v Speaker 3>But if we're going to roll back the phone based

0:47:17.520 --> 0:47:20.080
<v Speaker 3>childhood so that our kids are not spending the latest

0:47:20.120 --> 0:47:21.960
<v Speaker 3>numbers are nine or ten hours a day on average

0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:24.840
<v Speaker 3>of leisure time on screens and phones. If we're going

0:47:24.880 --> 0:47:27.040
<v Speaker 3>to roll that back and cut that way down, we

0:47:27.120 --> 0:47:29.640
<v Speaker 3>have to give them back a positive childhood, the kind

0:47:29.640 --> 0:47:33.040
<v Speaker 3>of childhood that we had and their grandparents and great grandparents,

0:47:33.040 --> 0:47:34.839
<v Speaker 3>which has a lot of play, a lot of hanging out,

0:47:34.840 --> 0:47:36.959
<v Speaker 3>a lot of independence. So we have to do both.

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:39.080
<v Speaker 3>We have to roll back the phone based childhood. We

0:47:39.120 --> 0:47:40.719
<v Speaker 3>have to restore the play based childhood.

0:47:40.920 --> 0:47:42.600
<v Speaker 1>You have a lot of hope, but are we at

0:47:42.640 --> 0:47:46.799
<v Speaker 1>the point of no return? Are people and society in

0:47:46.840 --> 0:47:51.560
<v Speaker 1>general so addicted to their digital devices the genie is

0:47:51.640 --> 0:47:54.760
<v Speaker 1>out of the bottle. I mean, I hope that's not true,

0:47:55.400 --> 0:47:58.000
<v Speaker 1>But I just wonder how realistic you're being.

0:47:58.480 --> 0:48:00.440
<v Speaker 3>So let's use a different meta or another one. I

0:48:00.480 --> 0:48:02.399
<v Speaker 3>hear is you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube,

0:48:03.320 --> 0:48:06.400
<v Speaker 3>to which I say, if your children's life depended on

0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:08.879
<v Speaker 3>you getting toothpaste back in a tube, you'd figure out

0:48:08.920 --> 0:48:10.800
<v Speaker 3>a way. You know that train has left the station.

0:48:11.480 --> 0:48:13.279
<v Speaker 3>If the train left the station, it was loaded with

0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:15.359
<v Speaker 3>our kids and was headed for a bridge that was out,

0:48:15.360 --> 0:48:16.600
<v Speaker 3>and we knew they were all going to plunge to

0:48:16.640 --> 0:48:20.239
<v Speaker 3>their death. We'd probably call it back. So, yeah, it's

0:48:20.280 --> 0:48:24.120
<v Speaker 3>going to be hard getting rid of all the chromebooks

0:48:24.120 --> 0:48:25.880
<v Speaker 3>and iPads and all the things in school that they

0:48:25.960 --> 0:48:27.920
<v Speaker 3>use to text. That's going to be really hard. But

0:48:28.000 --> 0:48:30.440
<v Speaker 3>all of that is doable. But let's start with the

0:48:30.440 --> 0:48:30.960
<v Speaker 3>phone to.

0:48:30.920 --> 0:48:34.200
<v Speaker 1>Do that though, I mean, if it's not attached to social.

0:48:33.880 --> 0:48:35.480
<v Speaker 3>Media, but a lot of it is, a lot of

0:48:35.480 --> 0:48:36.240
<v Speaker 3>it is, well.

0:48:36.200 --> 0:48:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Just don't attach it to social medium. Makes it technology

0:48:39.200 --> 0:48:40.480
<v Speaker 1>that's built for learning.

0:48:40.719 --> 0:48:43.200
<v Speaker 3>Yes, So I do think if because I had this

0:48:43.239 --> 0:48:45.919
<v Speaker 3>discussion in Washington with a policy expert who was saying

0:48:45.960 --> 0:48:48.160
<v Speaker 3>con Academy is so great that the teacher can assign

0:48:48.200 --> 0:48:50.879
<v Speaker 3>and the con Academy has you know, AI intelligent, that's

0:48:50.880 --> 0:48:52.600
<v Speaker 3>all great. So I said, you know what if you

0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:55.759
<v Speaker 3>could have like an iPad or a special device that

0:48:56.000 --> 0:48:59.120
<v Speaker 3>only did con academy that is all, and you could

0:48:59.160 --> 0:49:01.440
<v Speaker 3>have that on your desk, that I think would probably

0:49:01.440 --> 0:49:03.840
<v Speaker 3>be positive. But as long as it's a multifunction device

0:49:03.880 --> 0:49:06.319
<v Speaker 3>that has twenty three things the kid can do, the

0:49:06.360 --> 0:49:10.239
<v Speaker 3>distraction effects are going to swamp whatever educational benefits. If

0:49:10.239 --> 0:49:12.200
<v Speaker 3>we talk again next year, we'll talk about the ed

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:14.920
<v Speaker 3>tech because I'm just learning about that let's start with

0:49:14.960 --> 0:49:18.080
<v Speaker 3>the phones, because that is the child's personal portal to

0:49:18.120 --> 0:49:20.799
<v Speaker 3>the entire internet. That is the way that strangers can

0:49:20.800 --> 0:49:22.839
<v Speaker 3>get to your child, companies can get to your child.

0:49:23.120 --> 0:49:27.520
<v Speaker 3>So let's just delay that till high school minimum.

0:49:27.040 --> 0:49:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Which would be great if their parents could stop using

0:49:29.640 --> 0:49:31.680
<v Speaker 1>the phone. And I want to ask you about parental

0:49:31.719 --> 0:49:35.440
<v Speaker 1>modeling because John Downs, who was at a book event

0:49:35.520 --> 0:49:38.000
<v Speaker 1>for you last night, we walked out together and he said,

0:49:38.000 --> 0:49:41.239
<v Speaker 1>I really wanted to ask Jonathan this question. He's the

0:49:41.239 --> 0:49:45.200
<v Speaker 1>headmaster at the Millbrook School, and he said, what about parents.

0:49:45.800 --> 0:49:50.120
<v Speaker 1>Kids see their parents constantly on their phones. I worry

0:49:50.320 --> 0:49:53.760
<v Speaker 1>that there's less and less interaction with children and their parents.

0:49:53.760 --> 0:49:56.000
<v Speaker 1>You see go the playground, you see all the parents

0:49:56.080 --> 0:49:59.879
<v Speaker 1>or the babysitters on phones. You see people pushing strong

0:50:00.400 --> 0:50:02.680
<v Speaker 1>instead of pointing out things for their kids to look at,

0:50:02.960 --> 0:50:06.920
<v Speaker 1>they're on their phone. So JO parents have some responsibility

0:50:07.000 --> 0:50:07.880
<v Speaker 1>before they start.

0:50:08.040 --> 0:50:11.920
<v Speaker 3>They do they do, especially for infants and toddlers who

0:50:12.000 --> 0:50:14.160
<v Speaker 3>are They're trying their brains are trying to figure out

0:50:14.200 --> 0:50:17.280
<v Speaker 3>how do I do this interaction thing and turn taking

0:50:17.320 --> 0:50:20.760
<v Speaker 3>and timing and making jokes. And so I would urge

0:50:20.920 --> 0:50:24.320
<v Speaker 3>parents of young children to avoid what's called continuous partial attention.

0:50:24.800 --> 0:50:26.799
<v Speaker 3>It's where you're kind of aware what your kid is doing,

0:50:26.880 --> 0:50:28.719
<v Speaker 3>but you're also trying to do your email and text

0:50:28.800 --> 0:50:30.279
<v Speaker 3>and you're doing a bad job of both.

0:50:30.360 --> 0:50:33.200
<v Speaker 1>That's such a bad signal to kids about what's important.

0:50:33.320 --> 0:50:36.320
<v Speaker 1>And you know, sometimes I have friends who children have

0:50:36.400 --> 0:50:38.960
<v Speaker 1>been desperate in saying, Mom, get off the phone, get

0:50:39.040 --> 0:50:42.440
<v Speaker 1>off the phone. And you know it's really hard.

0:50:42.680 --> 0:50:45.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah it is. But the one thing I want to

0:50:45.040 --> 0:50:47.279
<v Speaker 3>point out here is because I get this question a lot,

0:50:47.320 --> 0:50:49.319
<v Speaker 3>like aren't the kids just copying us? And I think

0:50:49.320 --> 0:50:51.799
<v Speaker 3>the answer is no. If you think about an eleven

0:50:51.880 --> 0:50:55.759
<v Speaker 3>or twelve year old kid and her her parents are

0:50:55.800 --> 0:50:58.720
<v Speaker 3>on their phone all the time, and her friends aren't

0:50:58.719 --> 0:51:00.880
<v Speaker 3>on phones. They're out playing, which is going to be

0:51:00.920 --> 0:51:04.040
<v Speaker 3>more influential. Kids are much more focused on what their

0:51:04.160 --> 0:51:04.880
<v Speaker 3>friends are doing.

0:51:05.160 --> 0:51:05.319
<v Speaker 2>Now.

0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:09.040
<v Speaker 3>Conversely, you have a kid all her friends are on

0:51:09.080 --> 0:51:11.319
<v Speaker 3>their phones all the time, they're all on Instagram, and

0:51:11.360 --> 0:51:15.600
<v Speaker 3>you have parents who are perfect models of digital maturity

0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:18.839
<v Speaker 3>and they use their phone really in healthy ways. What's

0:51:18.880 --> 0:51:21.160
<v Speaker 3>the kid going to do uninfluenced by the parents, They're

0:51:21.200 --> 0:51:22.920
<v Speaker 3>going to do whatever the other kids are doing. So

0:51:23.080 --> 0:51:24.880
<v Speaker 3>our parental behavior is extremely important.

0:51:24.920 --> 0:51:28.439
<v Speaker 1>For instance, karents do still Ellen Golinsky, who I'm sure

0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:31.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, just wrote a book and she still talks

0:51:31.160 --> 0:51:36.160
<v Speaker 1>about how hugely important influential parents are in their children's behavior.

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:39.160
<v Speaker 3>Well, yes, I mean, of course parents are influential. But

0:51:39.239 --> 0:51:41.920
<v Speaker 3>the simple idea that our kids are copying us is

0:51:42.520 --> 0:51:44.480
<v Speaker 3>there's some truth to it when they're very young, but

0:51:44.840 --> 0:51:47.479
<v Speaker 3>we don't have that kind of direct influence. They're much

0:51:47.480 --> 0:51:50.920
<v Speaker 3>more concerned about their peers are doing. And what I

0:51:51.040 --> 0:51:54.120
<v Speaker 3>just said is far more true after twenty ten. When

0:51:54.160 --> 0:51:56.520
<v Speaker 3>you hook kids up by social media, there's just not

0:51:56.640 --> 0:51:58.800
<v Speaker 3>much room in their input stream for their parents.

0:51:59.120 --> 0:52:01.040
<v Speaker 1>So if you want to get your kids off their

0:52:01.040 --> 0:52:04.040
<v Speaker 1>phone or delay giving them a phone, you really have

0:52:04.120 --> 0:52:07.880
<v Speaker 1>to reach out to your parental community. Yes, and almost

0:52:07.920 --> 0:52:11.040
<v Speaker 1>sign a pledge, right and kind of say, this is

0:52:11.080 --> 0:52:14.080
<v Speaker 1>how we're going to operate. Is everyone with us, and

0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:18.800
<v Speaker 1>you present the information and the evidence that not doing

0:52:18.840 --> 0:52:21.680
<v Speaker 1>that could have really dangerous consequences.

0:52:22.040 --> 0:52:25.200
<v Speaker 3>That's right. The key is cooperation. We're all stuck in

0:52:25.239 --> 0:52:28.239
<v Speaker 3>a collective action problem. If we do it together, it

0:52:28.239 --> 0:52:30.640
<v Speaker 3>becomes easy. And so, for example, there's a really great

0:52:30.680 --> 0:52:34.239
<v Speaker 3>organization called Wait until Eighth, which eighth grade. That's right,

0:52:34.520 --> 0:52:36.520
<v Speaker 3>in which parents sign a pledge when the kids are

0:52:36.560 --> 0:52:39.280
<v Speaker 3>in first or second grade, and then once fifty people

0:52:39.360 --> 0:52:41.600
<v Speaker 3>I think it is in that school or that grade agree,

0:52:41.760 --> 0:52:43.879
<v Speaker 3>the pledge becomes live and now you have a support group.

0:52:44.040 --> 0:52:44.120
<v Speaker 4>Now.

0:52:44.160 --> 0:52:46.600
<v Speaker 3>The only problem is eighth grade is too early. Eighth

0:52:46.680 --> 0:52:49.800
<v Speaker 3>grade is actually still in middle school, and I'm adamant

0:52:49.880 --> 0:52:51.640
<v Speaker 3>we have to get this all out in middle school.

0:52:51.760 --> 0:52:54.440
<v Speaker 3>So the people wait until eight They've actually changed it.

0:52:54.440 --> 0:52:57.040
<v Speaker 3>It's wait until the end of eighth So you know,

0:52:57.160 --> 0:52:57.520
<v Speaker 3>we're all.

0:52:57.480 --> 0:52:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Maybe they should say wait until tenth. But by the way,

0:52:59.719 --> 0:53:02.719
<v Speaker 1>I think high school is held to So I mean,

0:53:02.840 --> 0:53:05.320
<v Speaker 1>puberty is awful, but high school can be helped.

0:53:05.360 --> 0:53:07.279
<v Speaker 3>Oh, no, it absolutely is. Look, if we were just

0:53:07.280 --> 0:53:09.480
<v Speaker 3>doing this for health, I would say wait till eighteen.

0:53:09.560 --> 0:53:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Like kids should not be on you know, they should

0:53:11.800 --> 0:53:15.560
<v Speaker 3>certainly not be on social media. And in Europe, where

0:53:15.640 --> 0:53:17.960
<v Speaker 3>they don't have this, we have this break in America

0:53:18.000 --> 0:53:20.799
<v Speaker 3>mostly between eighth and ninth grade. And because I'm a

0:53:20.800 --> 0:53:23.879
<v Speaker 3>social psychologist, I'm not focused on the child's age. I'm

0:53:23.920 --> 0:53:27.239
<v Speaker 3>focused on the community. And a middle school can do

0:53:27.440 --> 0:53:30.440
<v Speaker 3>things a high school. They're also dependent on the phones.

0:53:30.480 --> 0:53:32.279
<v Speaker 3>They assume every kid has a phone. It's going to

0:53:32.280 --> 0:53:33.960
<v Speaker 3>be very hard to get the phones out of the

0:53:34.000 --> 0:53:36.360
<v Speaker 3>lives of high school kids, but middle school we can do.

0:53:36.640 --> 0:53:38.040
<v Speaker 3>So that's why I'm so focused on that.

0:53:38.640 --> 0:53:41.399
<v Speaker 1>Why do Europeans seem to be take this much more

0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:45.759
<v Speaker 1>seriously than Americans? Because hasn't there been legislation and all

0:53:45.880 --> 0:53:46.800
<v Speaker 1>kinds of actions.

0:53:47.239 --> 0:53:50.120
<v Speaker 3>So in Europe they have a very different idea about regulation.

0:53:50.680 --> 0:53:53.440
<v Speaker 3>In the EU, they love regulation. They think it's appropriate

0:53:53.480 --> 0:53:56.920
<v Speaker 3>for the government to determine all sorts of things. In America,

0:53:56.960 --> 0:53:59.240
<v Speaker 3>we have a much more libertarian streak. We think, especially

0:53:59.280 --> 0:54:02.000
<v Speaker 3>the federal government. You know, the Tenth Amendment says here's

0:54:02.040 --> 0:54:03.839
<v Speaker 3>what the federal government can do. Everything else is up

0:54:03.840 --> 0:54:06.440
<v Speaker 3>to the states. And in Britain it's in between. I

0:54:06.480 --> 0:54:07.920
<v Speaker 3>just in fact, I was just talking with some British

0:54:07.960 --> 0:54:10.520
<v Speaker 3>people today. In Britain, they are trying to pass a

0:54:10.600 --> 0:54:14.800
<v Speaker 3>law that says that you can't buy a smartphone until

0:54:14.840 --> 0:54:19.240
<v Speaker 3>you are sixteen. Now, that doesn't make any sense. In America,

0:54:19.760 --> 0:54:21.200
<v Speaker 3>We're not going to have the government saying what you

0:54:21.239 --> 0:54:23.680
<v Speaker 3>can and can't buy in terms of a product.

0:54:23.760 --> 0:54:26.719
<v Speaker 1>Well, we do for cigarettes and alcohol.

0:54:26.400 --> 0:54:30.840
<v Speaker 3>But right because those those are more directly linked to illnesses.

0:54:30.960 --> 0:54:34.959
<v Speaker 3>What I'm saying is in Europe they have different ideas

0:54:35.000 --> 0:54:37.960
<v Speaker 3>about government than we do. And often I think that's

0:54:37.960 --> 0:54:39.840
<v Speaker 3>been good. I think we have a more vibrant economy

0:54:39.880 --> 0:54:42.239
<v Speaker 3>because of that. But there are times, as with gun

0:54:42.239 --> 0:54:47.759
<v Speaker 3>control and assault rifles and now sports gambling, there's all

0:54:47.800 --> 0:54:51.000
<v Speaker 3>sorts of hazards for kids. I think our government does

0:54:51.040 --> 0:54:52.400
<v Speaker 3>need to be more active.

0:54:52.640 --> 0:54:55.600
<v Speaker 1>And a selfish question to end this conversation with, As

0:54:55.640 --> 0:54:58.160
<v Speaker 1>you might know, Jonathan, or maybe you don't, I recently

0:54:58.239 --> 0:55:02.640
<v Speaker 1>became a grandmother. My daughter Ellie has a little boy

0:55:02.719 --> 0:55:05.920
<v Speaker 1>who is about a month old. So what would you

0:55:06.000 --> 0:55:09.200
<v Speaker 1>advise Ellie and her husband Mark in terms of using

0:55:09.280 --> 0:55:11.879
<v Speaker 1>the phone. You know, when they hold little Jay, they're

0:55:11.920 --> 0:55:15.160
<v Speaker 1>reading their phones, they're looking at articles, they're taking pictures

0:55:15.200 --> 0:55:17.520
<v Speaker 1>of him, and I think, oh my god, he's going

0:55:17.560 --> 0:55:20.040
<v Speaker 1>to get as used to the phone being around his

0:55:20.200 --> 0:55:23.279
<v Speaker 1>face as he is. Ellie and Mark, Yeah.

0:55:23.040 --> 0:55:25.520
<v Speaker 3>That's right. The urge to take pictures of your kids

0:55:25.560 --> 0:55:28.879
<v Speaker 3>all the time is so strong. I'm not saying don't

0:55:28.880 --> 0:55:32.120
<v Speaker 3>take pictures, but just recognize. What I would advise for

0:55:32.160 --> 0:55:36.480
<v Speaker 3>them is aim for more analog childhood. Find some other

0:55:36.480 --> 0:55:38.759
<v Speaker 3>families as he gets older, find some other families that

0:55:38.800 --> 0:55:41.279
<v Speaker 3>agree with you. We're at a tipping point. It might

0:55:41.320 --> 0:55:43.080
<v Speaker 3>have been hard to find those families five years ago.

0:55:43.560 --> 0:55:45.520
<v Speaker 3>In two or three years, most families are going to

0:55:45.520 --> 0:55:48.560
<v Speaker 3>be this way. So find other families. Try to find

0:55:48.560 --> 0:55:50.799
<v Speaker 3>ways for the kids to get together, to just be

0:55:50.880 --> 0:55:53.680
<v Speaker 3>around each other, and some toys. Toys can be a

0:55:53.680 --> 0:55:56.000
<v Speaker 3>couple of cardboard boxes. The kids will find something to

0:55:56.040 --> 0:55:57.799
<v Speaker 3>do with it and it'll be fun. So they're in

0:55:57.840 --> 0:56:00.279
<v Speaker 3>great shape. Things are going to get a lot lot

0:56:00.360 --> 0:56:03.239
<v Speaker 3>better over the coming years because almost everyone is fed up.

0:56:03.239 --> 0:56:06.040
<v Speaker 3>Almost everyone is ready for change, and so if we

0:56:06.160 --> 0:56:08.120
<v Speaker 3>do this together, it's going to change.

0:56:08.440 --> 0:56:10.880
<v Speaker 1>Jonathan Height, I always love talking to you. The book

0:56:10.920 --> 0:56:15.040
<v Speaker 1>is The Anxious Generation, how the great rewiring of childhood

0:56:15.080 --> 0:56:18.600
<v Speaker 1>is causing an epidemic of mental illness. Let's hope you're

0:56:18.680 --> 0:56:22.120
<v Speaker 1>right that we're at a real tipping point, because you

0:56:22.160 --> 0:56:23.920
<v Speaker 1>know so many lives depend on that.

0:56:24.680 --> 0:56:24.839
<v Speaker 4>Well.

0:56:24.840 --> 0:56:26.560
<v Speaker 3>Thanks Katie, thanks for having me on.

0:56:29.560 --> 0:56:33.400
<v Speaker 1>Special. Thanks to Kate McLoughlin for interviewing those young people

0:56:33.480 --> 0:56:43.440
<v Speaker 1>for today's episode. Thanks for listening everyone. If you have

0:56:43.480 --> 0:56:46.399
<v Speaker 1>a question for me, a subject you want us to cover,

0:56:46.800 --> 0:56:49.080
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0:56:49.200 --> 0:56:52.600
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0:57:06.400 --> 0:57:10.600
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