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Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make.

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Speaker 2: Horrible decision.

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrorable Decisions. I

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Speaker 3: gotta make it sound like I'm a rapping now since

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Speaker 3: you know, like, okay, never mind, you know I do

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Speaker 3: the white boys, I do the singing voice, I do

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Speaker 3: the Jamaican not Jamaican boys.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be a rapper today, y'all. Welcome. You already

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Speaker 2: noticed your girl Mindy.

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Speaker 4: B giving white woman the dating of black guys. Wow,

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Speaker 4: go ahead, whenever people do this with their hands, I

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Speaker 4: guess so first.

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Speaker 3: So that's how I do Fall seven Chapter City blah

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Speaker 3: blah blah.

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Speaker 4: Okay, my name is Weezy. Welcome back to another episode, y'all.

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Speaker 4: Now you know we actually me. We don't like to

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Speaker 4: have celebrities over. We've had some decent.

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Speaker 1: Love with the rapper we have.

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Speaker 2: They've been kind of cool, and I'll be honest y'all.

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Speaker 3: Today we are joined by Vic Mensa, who if you

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Speaker 3: have been listening for seven years, I'll be honest. You

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Speaker 3: were one of the guests that I used to say

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Speaker 3: could never come on here because I don't believe anybody

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Speaker 3: that I would ever fuck or want to shoot my

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Speaker 3: shot at can come and mix business with pleasure.

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Speaker 1: Now he likes getting neiggas. That's why you know it's

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Speaker 1: had it.

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Speaker 3: I'm actually mad he's in here with a jacket because

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Speaker 3: he's all over the ground with no shirt.

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Speaker 2: But y'all, Big Mins is here. But now after meeting you,

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Speaker 2: you're such a kind soul. I just know we're cool.

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Speaker 2: We could be cool, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: And y'all, he is a faithful man. So y'all didn't

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Speaker 3: know they exist, but we have one today in the building.

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Speaker 2: Big thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 1: Thank y'all man, So we you know, have you ever

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Speaker 1: repeet on someone?

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Speaker 5: Look, no, I've never done that.

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Speaker 1: Really, I'll think just like it didn't call for it

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Speaker 1: or questions smell.

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Speaker 6: I don't want to kick shame nobody, you know what

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Speaker 6: I'm saying, But I ain't really what I'm on. I

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Speaker 6: kind of was having a thought about that the other day,

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Speaker 6: like how you want to invite like good ship into

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Speaker 6: your life, but you want people to just bee on you.

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Speaker 2: So actually i'm finding back scorted on before.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, it's probably happening, so it's just well no,

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Speaker 3: also fun fact to piss actually if you are stuck

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Speaker 3: like survivor. Right if you're in like an island and

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Speaker 3: you're there or a forest or a desert, to actually

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Speaker 3: say you can drink your piss it's actually healthy for you.

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Speaker 4: I honestly like, I've never done it, but I feel

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Speaker 4: like if I did, or when I do, I'll say,

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Speaker 4: drinking is not gonna be the thing I do.

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Speaker 2: Drinking it let me get a splash and you're.

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Speaker 3: Stuck on an island. That's why I said, hold on,

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Speaker 3: I made it. This is a survival chit status here. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm not into it and you're not, but I wanted to, like,

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Speaker 3: maybe not what drinking pistol?

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Speaker 1: No drinking? I thought you are no girl there, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god.

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Speaker 3: But I wanted to get into this because I had

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Speaker 3: a conversation with you a couple months ago and you

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Speaker 3: taught me something. Honestly, I can't believe that there are

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Speaker 3: still things I'm learning. I'm excited for the horrible decision

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Speaker 3: we're gonna get into you going through a sex and

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Speaker 3: love addiction anonymous program, which we're gonna really get it

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Speaker 3: into because we've had like the Reformed Boy conversation before.

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Speaker 3: But who you were in your twenties, and who you

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Speaker 3: are now has changed through meditation, has changed through this program,

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Speaker 3: has changed through finding yourself has changed through sobriety.

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Speaker 1: Why do you feel may find us after they get

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend?

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Speaker 2: Well that she she looked up and found the hill

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Speaker 2: bigger we just have not. Wait.

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Speaker 4: Let's let me ask you that when meeting your girlfriend,

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Speaker 4: were you completely through your program? Did you feel like

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Speaker 4: you were ready to be in a committed relationship or

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Speaker 4: did it volunteer left?

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Speaker 6: I met her after the program for sure. You know,

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Speaker 6: I felt like I'm manifested coming into my life in

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Speaker 6: a lot of ways.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 6: I was praying about finding that love, you know, something genuine.

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Speaker 5: Because everything else is what I've known. You know so much.

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Speaker 3: Better now real quick, we have Sierra's prayer. We need

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Speaker 3: big Minsu's prayer.

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Speaker 5: Sierra's so so Sierra's.

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Speaker 3: Prayer was manifesting Russ. You manifested a woman that was good.

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Speaker 3: So I want to know what she looked like. So

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Speaker 3: I want the prayer.

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Speaker 2: So what's the prayer? Can you share it? So for

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Speaker 2: any men listening who want to manifest a relationship the

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Speaker 2: way you have after being healed, you could close your

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Speaker 2: eyes big. Yes, we're doing this. We're doing this.

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Speaker 1: Oh, let's all do it again.

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Speaker 2: Come on, we're gonna close our eyes to big.

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Speaker 3: We need to know what was in the manifestation and

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Speaker 3: what was in the prayer to get the woman that

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Speaker 3: you have today.

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Speaker 6: Come on, it was simple, man. It was just like,

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Speaker 6: come on, we It was just like, God, bring me

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Speaker 6: real love.

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Speaker 5: That was it. No, it's not.

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Speaker 2: That is not enough for real, real love.

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Speaker 3: He's looking for a real live now.

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Speaker 4: When she came into your life, when people say that

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Speaker 4: they meet the person that's for them, they know instantly

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Speaker 4: to take you a second, How did it happen?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you know the first time we really went out

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Speaker 6: and I just locked in with her. It's been like

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Speaker 6: that ever since, you know what I'm saying. So I

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Speaker 6: guess in that moment, I did.

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Speaker 3: Know what was what was different from from like we

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Speaker 3: always asked like what made her the one or what?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean, like in terms of actually

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Speaker 2: being committed.

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Speaker 5: You know, I often have trouble like.

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Speaker 6: Really connecting with women that i'd be with sexually, you

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Speaker 6: know what I'm saying, Really like on a mental level,

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Speaker 6: like intellect, taste, you know what I'm saying, pool of reference, literature,

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Speaker 6: like culture, some ghetto like for it to all be

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Speaker 6: there was that was really rare and was just different

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Speaker 6: from the women that I've been messing with, you know

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Speaker 6: what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: All of that was mainly just like physical shit. You

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Speaker 5: know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: Did you wait to find out all of those things

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Speaker 3: about her before having sex? Because like I think, the

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Speaker 3: sex is one of those things that can complicate, especially

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Speaker 3: if it's really good. Sometimes I don't care to really

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Speaker 3: know much else about a nigga. I ain't even gonna

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Speaker 3: hold you like this is good. Hopefully you're a great

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Speaker 3: person as well, but also I don't care.

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Speaker 1: If you're not her.

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Speaker 2: Was there was there a pause to learn her a

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Speaker 2: little bit more before being intimate or do you find

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Speaker 2: did you find like that was your your jesuit the

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Speaker 2: woman that you also had sex with after that maybe

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Speaker 2: you didn't care to get to know them more.

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Speaker 5: I mean, you know, I'm a nigga, so I'm trying

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Speaker 5: to guess the show quick.

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Speaker 6: But I'm not like pushy though, you know, I'm like

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Speaker 6: somebody to drop you off, not kiss you, you know

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Speaker 6: what I mean?

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Speaker 5: And just.

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Speaker 4: I swear that I feel like had been the most

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Speaker 4: interested in me. Do that what they don't necessarily make

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Speaker 4: a move too quick? And I've always thought about it,

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Speaker 4: like do you remember when I was like, why won't

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Speaker 4: this dude sucked me last year?

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Speaker 2: Well he was celebrated.

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Speaker 4: No, he wasn't the Dreamville nigs A different nigga. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: the one that had met Jamsville. And we were going

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Speaker 4: on these great dates and I felt like I was connected.

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Speaker 3: That's because you saw me.

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Speaker 2: I want, no, you do love going on dates.

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Speaker 4: By the way, do you know that I didn't know,

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Speaker 4: uh if you because we've never met, so, but I know,

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Speaker 4: like there was even.

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Speaker 1: A co fuse.

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Speaker 4: I think you were gonna do something with me, like

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Speaker 4: they had sent me an email with you then I know, horrible.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't think I was staring

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Speaker 1: at him, but I feel like I noticed it.

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Speaker 4: So to explain, Vick was on a date with his

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Speaker 4: girl at this restaurant. I was on a date with

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Speaker 4: the dreadhead I've been dating, and right after we said

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Speaker 4: hello to each other, he really looks at me like this,

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Speaker 4: how you know this?

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Speaker 2: How you know all? He knows?

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Speaker 7: What?

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Speaker 2: What about it?

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Speaker 5: He looked like a really nice guy.

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Speaker 7: Well yeah, right, so he's not like a slick of

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Speaker 7: pretty Ricky Kodak dread, but yeah he is.

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Speaker 4: I love when you said a little ghetto. I love

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Speaker 4: it elevated nigga that still got a little of it

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Speaker 4: in him. I love seeing and not saying that locks

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Speaker 4: mean that by any means, but just I love seeing

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Speaker 4: a little bit of edge to somebody that does live

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Speaker 4: their life in a certain way, because we don't put

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Speaker 4: the two together. And so even when you were talking

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Speaker 4: just now, I've really found that, like, men are not

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Speaker 4: making me excited intellectually, I'm starting to feel like I'm

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Speaker 4: smarter than them. Even when you wrote up literature, like

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Speaker 4: if you didn't read forty eight Laws of Power, like

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Speaker 4: do you even read? Like I feel like that's kind

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Speaker 4: of like the surface level shit that's happening. When they

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Speaker 4: didn't say they like art, they don't know what the

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Speaker 4: fuck they're talking about either. No, you know, even if

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Speaker 4: you just want to explore it and you don't understand,

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Speaker 4: like just at least experiencing it. It's like it's really

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Speaker 4: difficult to meet people, not even men, women, people that

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Speaker 4: are on the same wave as you. When it comes

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Speaker 4: to like when you're somebody that opens your brain up

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Speaker 4: to more, because for the most part they're just not there.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's even just the conversation.

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Speaker 3: I mean I was a little embarrassed to be like,

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Speaker 3: I went on the best date of my life at

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Speaker 3: thirty two years old, and the nigga took me to

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Speaker 3: the botanical gardens that ain't to teach me about trees.

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Speaker 2: I said, well, how you just know what out trees?

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Speaker 2: Like this nigga, I was in pressed.

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Speaker 3: Then after the botanical garden, he took me to Barnes

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Speaker 3: and Nobles.

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Speaker 2: Don't do me. He took me to Barnes and Nobles

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Speaker 2: and we started going about books.

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Speaker 3: And this nigga was really into Greek mythology, and so

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Speaker 3: you know, I want a self help book.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, well, Gz just.

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Speaker 2: Released the book let me, and he like, now, let

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Speaker 2: me tell you about the Greek mythologists.

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Speaker 3: Or whatever the art them niggas you know who I'm

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Speaker 3: talking about, Aristotle them.

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Speaker 2: And they're like, oh, like collects the art. I thought

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Speaker 2: it was like artimist or something.

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Speaker 5: He might be one, right, Aristotle.

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Speaker 2: See Okay, So.

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Speaker 3: Anyways we go and I felt like not only was

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Speaker 3: it one of my best dates just because he had

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Speaker 3: everything planned out. We went from an Ethiopian restaurant, took

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Speaker 3: the botanical gardens to Barnes and Nobles to then ended

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Speaker 3: it at a fucking bath house with massage.

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Speaker 1: Oh he was he said Aristotle.

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Speaker 3: Was crazy and we didn't have sex after, which was

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Speaker 3: crazy because I had given niggas plicity for a lot

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Speaker 3: less so I felt like, damn, this is fucked up, right,

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Speaker 3: But I was just like wow.

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Speaker 2: I was like, what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: You can do all of it?

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Speaker 2: You can teach them bitch how to ring and you

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Speaker 2: still won't.

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Speaker 3: Get a.

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Speaker 5: Point no.

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Speaker 3: But I think that that's where I think dating has

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Speaker 3: come to be with me as well, Like the not

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Speaker 3: that I'm gonna safe your sexual because I need you

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Speaker 3: to have that, dude, but knowing that I can now

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Speaker 3: go on a date or have a conversation and we

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Speaker 3: can have things to where I'm learning from you, you're

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Speaker 3: learning from me. That's now become like a sting, Like

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Speaker 3: if you can't talk, what week as my key? While

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Speaker 3: I'm not going on no dates right now because these

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Speaker 3: niggas can't.

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Speaker 6: No fast, I feel like I got to be able

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Speaker 6: to learn from somebody, you know what I'm saying. And

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Speaker 6: I just think that that heightens the connection as well,

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Speaker 6: Like things will be purely physical and it gets played

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Speaker 6: out so far as for me, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 6: that's never not gotten old.

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Speaker 3: Is this your first time where the relationship is romantic

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Speaker 3: but also there's a friendship there. I think that's what

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Speaker 3: has been my issue, is not building a friendship with partners.

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Speaker 6: Yeah maybe low key you're like that, I was a

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Speaker 6: dog gas man my last some of that.

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Speaker 2: So we want to hear around we're meeting nowadays, But

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Speaker 2: is it how you've become reformed?

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Speaker 4: Tell us about the time maybe you were on tour

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Speaker 4: whatever the fuck and you were like, okay, I might

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Speaker 4: need to slow down, like this is fucking crazy.

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Speaker 1: Maybe there was three of them, maybe there was five.

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Speaker 2: Five five at once?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, what was it?

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Speaker 4: So here's where I'm always curious to know when it's five?

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Speaker 4: Was it something to where you were almost getting exhausted

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Speaker 4: or you're just in this sea of scurator?

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Speaker 2: You're the you were the curator.

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Speaker 6: I mean, you know as a curator be an artist

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Speaker 6: as well, but like it's like you don't get exhausted, just.

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Speaker 5: Curate the vibe, I mean, put it together.

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Speaker 1: How does it start? You write people over?

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Speaker 2: It was a club? Were all of them friends?

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Speaker 3: Or you just brought five different women that you saw

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Speaker 3: in the club, brought them to the table and they

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Speaker 3: all agreed to go home with you.

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Speaker 6: I used to have parties in my crib a lot, Okay,

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Speaker 6: I lived in La you know, and that was just

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Speaker 6: a crazy time.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: L a house parties. I've heard a lot about.

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Speaker 6: It necessarily orchestrated, but you know, those things happen.

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Speaker 3: I want to know how you get women that don't

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Speaker 3: know each other to join it? Like what was that conversation?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 2: Was there much cloud? Cloud is crazy?

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Speaker 5: Woud It's super crazy? Right?

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Speaker 6: The whole vibe is crazy, the whole thing I mean,

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Speaker 6: you know what I mean. It's like I look back

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Speaker 6: at that time, at this stage and be like I

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Speaker 6: just didn't have an understanding of energy, you know what

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Speaker 6: I mean. I wouldn't take on that energy of so

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Speaker 6: many strange people at this point. You know, if I

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Speaker 6: knew what an exchange of energy was, if I knew

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Speaker 6: how that could help build or destroy.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying. In my own life, okay, but.

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Speaker 4: Can't you just live in that frivolous moment. Do you

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Speaker 4: think that when you're having sex like that, it's always

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Speaker 4: taking on energy? Or can a nigga just fuck buy

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Speaker 4: bad bitches and like going about their day?

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Speaker 1: Do you maybe you think that they can't.

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Speaker 6: I think anybody can do whatever makes them happy. You know,

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Speaker 6: For me, that shit ain't make me happy though, you know,

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Speaker 6: That's how I ended up in the fucking program.

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Speaker 3: Oh but also the men listening are like, nigga, what

306
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Speaker 3: you mean? Five women ain't make you happy?

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Speaker 6: That's how I ended up in that program, man, you know,

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Speaker 6: because I just realized that my ceaseless pursuit of meaningless

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Speaker 6: sex was just another band ad, It was just another drug.

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Speaker 6: It was always interconnected with alcoholism, with drug addiction. And

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Speaker 6: I mean felt foul afterwards, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 6: I didn't feel like I probably felt in some sense

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Speaker 6: like patriarchally proud, you know what I mean. But I

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Speaker 6: also felt unclean and I was just trying to mask

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Speaker 6: emotions with sex. Sex was a moment for me when

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Speaker 6: I could be in control, I could be powerful, I

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Speaker 6: could be.

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Speaker 5: Validated.

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Speaker 6: Validation, I would say, is the main driving force between

320
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Speaker 6: all that shit, and this was really about the physical thing,

321
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Speaker 6: was really about a pleasure thing as much as it

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Speaker 6: was about escapism, you know, just from depression.

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Speaker 5: And feeding an ego and anything it tanked your depression more,

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Speaker 5: you know, in my experience.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how old were you when you entered the program

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Speaker 1: and how old are you now?

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Speaker 5: I'm thirty now. I was twenty five when I did

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Speaker 5: that program.

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Speaker 1: You did that at twenty five. I feel like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: who is it thirty eight?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 3: That was that was a young time to be able

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Speaker 3: to like be that self aware.

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Speaker 6: I couldn't separate that from drug addiction though, and that

335
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Speaker 6: was a separate sex addiction from drug drug addiction.

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Speaker 5: I had to.

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Speaker 6: I had to be able to view those things as

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Speaker 6: you know, pieces of same larger entity of being within

339
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Speaker 6: myself and be like because the drugs was like go

340
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Speaker 6: kill me. You know what kind of drugs the ones.

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Speaker 3: That kids, I mean, even the ones that aren't supposed

342
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Speaker 3: to kill you or laced now with so much everything.

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Speaker 4: The pills is like the crazy thing too, because when

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Speaker 4: I was growing up, I feel like estasy was like

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Speaker 4: rave ship. And now when I hear future talk about it,

346
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Speaker 4: I'm like what the fuck apen? I thought this is

347
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Speaker 4: for white people.

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Speaker 6: But that's what it used to be, right, that's what

349
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Speaker 6: we thought. It's crossed over, Like, it's for sure crossed over, definitely.

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Speaker 1: So what twenty five?

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Speaker 4: You had enough self awareness to enroll yourself in a

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Speaker 4: program like that, But who were other people in your lives?

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Speaker 4: Was there even maybe a woman that kind of told you,

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Speaker 4: a woman that you cared about, you know, that you

355
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Speaker 4: maybe risked something with and you realize I have.

356
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Speaker 5: To do this, Yeah, definitely.

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Speaker 6: I mean I always had a girlfriend too, so there

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Speaker 6: was a constant process of like cheat then lie lie, Lie, deny,

359
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Speaker 6: And I was just such a guilty cloud that followed

360
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Speaker 6: me through everything in my life. And it's just this

361
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,520
Speaker 6: web of lies. It's terrible to live that way, you

362
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying, And just to acknowledge and realize

363
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Speaker 6: I'm hurting people that I love so much because I

364
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Speaker 6: can't love myself. So I was I was sitting down

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Speaker 6: with a woman who is my publicist, and she introduced me,

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Speaker 6: you know, showed me what the program was. Because every

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Speaker 6: time we would sit down, it would be more like

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Speaker 6: a therapy session, and I'd be stressing about how I'm like,

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Speaker 6: you know, trying to hide this that from my girl,

370
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Speaker 6: and she was like, sounds like this is distressing you

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Speaker 6: a lot.

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Speaker 3: That's what I was going to ask, Like, we know

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Speaker 3: what damage the drugs could have. I understand the depression,

374
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Speaker 3: but how is sex and this love addiction essentially like

375
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Speaker 3: ruining your life?

376
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Speaker 2: Essentially?

377
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:23,360
Speaker 6: I think if you don't face your issues, then they

378
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 6: just grow, you know, of their own they grow their

379
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 6: own momentum.

380
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Speaker 5: And like that was helping to just destroy my life.

381
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Speaker 6: Also because I think one thing men don't consider is

382
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Speaker 6: the karmic balance of their actions.

383
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Speaker 2: Keep going, please, this is what we want to hear.

384
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 2: Men in the room, men listening. There is a karmic

385
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 2: reaction to your life decision to start.

386
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Speaker 5: It's a real karmic reaction.

387
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Speaker 6: And I never really considered the truth of how damaging

388
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 6: it is to continued a lot someone that loves you.

389
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Speaker 6: And it wasn't until I was lied to by someone

390
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,679
Speaker 6: that loved that I loved. You know, one of my

391
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,479
Speaker 6: guys that turned on me, robbed me, and I'm like, man,

392
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Speaker 6: I've never treated you like this. I've always been solid

393
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 6: with you, a hunted with you. And I had to

394
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 6: start thinking about myself and I'm like, oh man, I've

395
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 6: been doing the exact same thing to my woman, you know,

396
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Speaker 6: And it's like, cheating is just the way of the world.

397
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Speaker 5: That's what men are taught, that's what we believe. Is

398
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 5: what question is it?

399
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Speaker 6: I don't remember the class, all the movies, you know

400
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 6: what I mean, all the artists, everybody you idolized leaders,

401
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:44,680
Speaker 6: powerful men that have never been characterized by their honesty

402
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 6: and truthfulness with their women. Kings have concubines, rappers got groupies.

403
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 6: Even the most famous ones do it with the best relationships,

404
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 6: the best lives.

405
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:55,919
Speaker 2: I never thought of that.

406
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 6: You know, you a kid looking up and you're like, Okay,

407
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 6: that's how I'm supposed to be. This is what it

408
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 6: means to be a man of power.

409
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if most men can get like I

410
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 1: don't know.

411
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,439
Speaker 4: Just even you're talking about how you read, like, I

412
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 4: just don't think for real.

413
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 6: Well, it was a book that really, I ain't gonna lie.

414
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 6: It was a book that started to really change my

415
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 6: mentality on things.

416
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,680
Speaker 5: Was Belle Hooks All about Love.

417
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,159
Speaker 6: It was real, we real cool. All about Love is

418
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 6: an amazing book too, you know. I love Belle Hooks.

419
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 6: In general, but we Real Cool was the one that

420
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 6: contextualized things for me because it gave me historical precedent

421
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 6: to why we as black men act a lot of

422
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:35,959
Speaker 6: the ways that we do.

423
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 5: Let me, let me.

424
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Speaker 2: Real cool write it down and you note.

425
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Speaker 4: Now my other question is being that you sound like

426
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:51,919
Speaker 4: an anomaly one you guys looking for real? Third and

427
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 4: second second, do you think that I don't know? So

428
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 4: you're making me think about something you're talking about in

429
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 4: terms of a man that has a relationship. What I

430
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 4: feel like the most of us see today and tell

431
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,199
Speaker 4: me if I'm wrong. Is the man who may not

432
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 4: have a relationship, but they have multiple women. There may

433
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 4: be noncommittal, maybe even unfulfilled, but they're just living this

434
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 4: fast life. Do you think that your ideology can really

435
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 4: fit for that person because they may not feel like

436
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 4: they're hurting anybody, especially if they're not committed.

437
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 1: There's so many situations.

438
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 6: Ideology for myself is one of truth, you know, And

439
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 6: that's what I think that men are not ready to

440
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 6: embrace though. Even if you don't have a girlfriend, you

441
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 6: still finessing your homes mm, so they don't find each other,

442
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 6: you know.

443
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 2: And write and be like girl let's get on a

444
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 2: phone call.

445
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: I've got on my phone call this ship.

446
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: Yep, we both had. Hey, Barbara, this is sure.

447
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 1: You know what.

448
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 3: It's crazy she got Aristotle? Did I just trigger you

449
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 3: the Aristotle?

450
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 5: My bed.

451
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 1: No, she's a bad bitch. I see why he was

452
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: wucking with her.

453
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,679
Speaker 5: Begga that both of y'all was with.

454
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: Other women, other people, same scenario.

455
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no no, not the same.

456
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 3: But this is how you know had the nerve to

457
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 3: be celibate big Do you know the first question this

458
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 3: bitch asked me on the poone was I just want

459
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 3: to know real?

460
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: Was he fucking you.

461
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 2: The man and still was cheating?

462
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 5: He thought he was, He was celibate.

463
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 6: Eddie was cheating celibately yolevantly.

464
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 1: If we found out, you probably know him. I hate him.

465
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 4: But anyway, what we found out was that like he

466
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 4: was just sucking our energy up. He had a project coming,

467
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 4: and she was like, I would feel him like feet

468
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 4: on me, and I think the same. She's like, you know,

469
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 4: like these men fucking need theirro in weird ways and

470
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 4: it's not the sex. And then she made a great

471
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 4: point which was even deeper to me. Imagine having these

472
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 4: beautiful women, boss bitches whatever. That every girl that we

473
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 4: had had some kind of power position, powerful position. She's like,

474
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 4: imagine them begging to fuck you and like wanting you

475
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 4: so bad.

476
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 5: It was no. These R and B singers are different, though,

477
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 5: I will.

478
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 2: R and B now look at he went straight to

479
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: that nigga.

480
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 5: Saying, because that's R and behavior.

481
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 2: Behavior, R and behavior behavior is crazy. So wait, what's

482
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 2: the difference then, because I know you've been around them,

483
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: what is the difference between rapid behavior and R and

484
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: B behavior R and behavior? I like R and beha.

485
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 5: I only.

486
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 3: Have I ever been with I've been with a ship,

487
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 3: not been with an R and B nigga. But it's

488
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 3: because they're a little tiny.

489
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 5: R and behavior.

490
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 6: It's like, man, I mean all of their music is

491
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,440
Speaker 6: about relationships with women, all of it. So I think

492
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 6: that they have to carry up a lot of antics

493
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 6: from my perspective.

494
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 5: Okay, not the ship.

495
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 6: On y'all R and B guys, but it seems like

496
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 6: that's your that you need that creatively. So it's like,

497
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,360
Speaker 6: you know they'd be wild and like, I ain't even

498
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 6: gonna tell you the type of story.

499
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 3: Please share a story you don't have to say a name.

500
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: We don't give names here, but what's the story.

501
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 5: This was reckless. This was like prime R and B behavior.

502
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, talk to me.

503
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 5: Oh man, I was messing with this girl.

504
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 2: Oh this is your behavior?

505
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 6: No, okay, no, she was like famous, her friends famous.

506
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 6: Her friend's boyfriend was famous. You know, We're at strip

507
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 6: club and I'm standing right here. I got my thug

508
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 6: with me. Shout out to Loco with the mask. Were

509
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 6: right here. We're chopping it up my girl right here,

510
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 6: you know, probably where you are.

511
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 5: And then.

512
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 6: Her friend's boyfriend was like, where you are? So I'm

513
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 6: talking to my friend. We're all so close, but it's

514
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 6: strip club, you know, so we can't really hear them.

515
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 6: I come to find out that later, come to find

516
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 6: out that he was telling her the whole time.

517
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,479
Speaker 5: Well, we're right there, like you look so motherfucking good tonight.

518
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 2: This was an R and B nigga plane.

519
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 5: Right there, you know what I mean? Right there. Proximity, Yeah,

520
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 5: that proximity.

521
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 2: It was kicking game in front of you.

522
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 5: I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't hear

523
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 5: that nigga whispering her, you know what I mean?

524
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 6: You know and he's like, man, he's doing He's going

525
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 6: crazy with it to the point where, like, you know,

526
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 6: eventually he kind of blows his cover because they was

527
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 6: in a car with somebody else. He didn't know it

528
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 6: was another person in the car, and he was telling

529
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 6: her like, it's your sexy yes in the back seat.

530
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 5: It's his girl's birthday too.

531
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: Wait, I missed that.

532
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 5: I forgot that part. His girl is around, This is

533
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 5: girl's birthday. We're all together, you know, it's like a

534
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 5: double day in understand.

535
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 6: I mean, there was a group of people you know,

536
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 6: and man and then later.

537
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 5: This was prime R and behavior.

538
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 6: This was when I knew these niggas was different and

539
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 6: they was playing by different rules.

540
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 5: You know.

541
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 6: What I mean was he had kind of in front

542
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 6: of his move because there was another person in the

543
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 6: car that he didn't know when he last came on

544
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 6: to her. So she's, you know, she's tripping all night.

545
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 6: You know, later on she's like, man, I don't want

546
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 6: to tell her ruin her birthday and all this shit,

547
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 6: this R and behavior. He went and told her friend

548
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,400
Speaker 6: before she did and flipped the script said she.

549
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: Came on, I ain't gonna hold you.

550
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 5: I was like, Yo, these niggas ill though. You gotta

551
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 5: respect that.

552
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 2: Everybody was like Usher stopped dancing on my bit like that's.

553
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 5: What because it's different. It's different.

554
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 6: It's levels to the ship, like you got a talent

555
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 6: that ain't his dick, you gotta respect it like it's

556
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 6: They treat that ship like an art form.

557
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,959
Speaker 4: Like me, ask you what do you think it is about?

558
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 4: As a normal Okay, I'll say two things. Now that

559
00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 4: i'm industry, I understand why industry people date because it

560
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 4: almost kind of feel safer. You're dating someone that's your

561
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 4: same pay, you can do the same shit, you know how.

562
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 2: To move maybe well whatever, I know.

563
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 4: I'm just saying that's the reason I understand. But when

564
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 4: we're looking at comments on the Shade Room, every single

565
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 4: person says, why the fuck do these rappers pass around

566
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 4: the same bitches?

567
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: Now?

568
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 4: For you to watch somebody do that with the woman

569
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 4: that you're with, what do you think it is? Is

570
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 4: it because you've had her? Why do you think it

571
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 4: is that people like sharing the same women?

572
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,719
Speaker 1: Because it's not even the men.

573
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 4: Men are always gonna have vigital on any day, but

574
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 4: women specifically, Why do you think men like sharing the

575
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 4: same girls or wanting the girl.

576
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: I ain't never seen your girl before.

577
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 3: I just thought she was a body. And I have

578
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 3: an answer to this, but I want to hear yours.

579
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 5: Well.

580
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 6: I think it's chasing status cloud, you know, recognition, status symbols.

581
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 6: I think we are predisposed to like few women as objects,

582
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 6: something to be had, you know, maybe owned, or least

583
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 6: and give him back at least a car.

584
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 5: You release a riari because you want to see you

585
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 5: in a riri, right, So.

586
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: It's just about fucking to me.

587
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 3: It's not much different than what I feel like when,

588
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: which is why it's very hard. And I'll probably never

589
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 3: post my partner at this point. He has to stand

590
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 3: a basement and I'll never bring him out in public.

591
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 3: But well, because when when women see you with a man,

592
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 3: especially if they're fans of no I mean, I'm not

593
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 3: really going to put him in a basement, listen, I'll

594
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: make sure to feed him. Well, he can actually have

595
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 3: video games down there. At this point, I don't want

596
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 3: him to leave. But when women see that you're with someone,

597
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 3: especially if they're a fan of bars, men are fans

598
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 3: of each other even though they're in the same industry, right,

599
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 3: so it comes to where, oh if this man dated them,

600
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 3: if I get the same type of bitch, I'm on

601
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 3: that man's caliber. And it's the same thing that women

602
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 3: do with men. Oh he dated this bitch. Oh, so

603
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 3: if I date him too, we the same. And I

604
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 3: think it's more people feeding into their egos to be

605
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: able to get the men that they see their competition giving.

606
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 5: M M.

607
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 2: That's what I just think of it.

608
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 3: I think it's just insecurity, and I think they want

609
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,199
Speaker 3: what other people have because it don't nobody want you,

610
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 3: don't nobody wants you.

611
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: I think we all still go in wanting people that

612
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: other people want.

613
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 4: I mean, I do think that the that the larger

614
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 4: issue is the competitiveness of it.

615
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 3: But what's even stranger is it almost.

616
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 4: Brushes away all the patriarchal like notion that like you

617
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 4: want a girl that no one's had.

618
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 3: That's why I get so confused. They want a lady

619
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: in the street, but a freaking sheeting a hoe. But

620
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: y'all date the same bitch over and over. You want

621
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 3: your ass hate, but then you want me to be

622
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 3: a virgin?

623
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 2: How are we doing? How can I be both at

624
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: the same time? Like, you are not gonna say, look

625
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 2: he got the sound drop ready, y'all were not doing the.

626
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 5: Well.

627
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 3: I want to get into our vanillaship real quick, because

628
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 3: in terms of the relationships you've had in your past,

629
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: there's a word that they're saying should now be brought

630
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 3: into the dictionaire. With cupping season coming up, I wanted

631
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 3: to know if either of you guys were familiar with

632
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: slow dumping. Slow dumping is when one partner distances themselves

633
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: physically and emotionally from a romantic relationship. Rather than expressing

634
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 3: their desire to end it, they literally will show up

635
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: and start being less of who they've been, hoping that

636
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 3: you then are fed up and you choose to do

637
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 3: the breaking. This can also be referred to as fizzling,

638
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: and fizzling is when a dater incremently puts less effort

639
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 3: into the relationship until it reaches the point where the

640
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: other partner stops it or they both stop communication altogether.

641
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 5: Fizzling as slow dumping.

642
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: Yes, well, the one fizzling is where it just pretty

643
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 3: much communication just ends up stopping because you're fizzling the

644
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 3: relationship out without express.

645
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 6: Slowly move, slowly move, Yeah, I'll do that so we

646
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 6: don't go well, to me, that's in that's in uh dating,

647
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 6: but not in when you're in a relationship.

648
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 3: This specifically is when you're in a relationship instead of

649
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: ending it with the person, you.

650
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 2: A lout or you.

651
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: Slow dump them to where you just start showing up

652
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 3: to be such the wrong partner for them that you're

653
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 3: waiting for them to break it off. And I want

654
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 3: to know if either of you have either done that

655
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 3: at all, whether past relationship or felt like someone slow

656
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 3: fizzled you out or slow dumped you.

657
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 6: I think I've slow dumped. You've slow dumped for sure.

658
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 6: We don't know that I'm meant to do it intentionally,

659
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 6: but just.

660
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 1: Okay, being less invested, just.

661
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 5: Being over it.

662
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 6: And my mind is started being like mean, you know,

663
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 6: just for no reason about.

664
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 5: It, you get mean little shit. For sure, I try

665
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,479
Speaker 5: to watch that ship. But I realized my homegirls do that.

666
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 6: I wasn't even conscious of it at that time until

667
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 6: I look back and I'd be like, damn, why was

668
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 6: I acting like that?

669
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 5: You know? I mean, just be over it and be

670
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 5: just tired.

671
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 3: You know, what would make you be tired and so

672
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 3: over a relationship but you don't end it?

673
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 2: What would keep you to where you.

674
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 3: Now are, start starting to behave in a way that's

675
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 3: not yourself instead of just ending that relationship if that

676
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: person's making you.

677
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 5: Feel that way.

678
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 4: For both of y'all, I guess I mean for me,

679
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 4: I definitely slow dumps because I felt sorry for that

680
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 4: person at the time that I was dating. Okay, I

681
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 4: felt like I kind of had to be around. Also,

682
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 4: dating people that are going through something is really tough.

683
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 4: I think you have to have a lot invested in them.

684
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 4: For example, like depression is just one right, but if

685
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 4: someone's grieving, even like you kind of got to stick

686
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 4: with them throughout. You got to stick with them through

687
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 4: their mean phase. Help issues with someone like sometimes it's

688
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 4: hard you start to resent them. So I had definitely

689
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 4: felt that ship way too deeply, like it was okay,

690
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 4: just too much on me. And then I also felt

691
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 4: like shit because I didn't want to be with them anymore.

692
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 4: But then at the same time, I'm like, now I

693
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 4: gotta fake it just because you said, which I'm sad to.

694
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: You know what I'm sad to.

695
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 5: No, I did.

696
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 3: I did want it because before we started, Uh, well

697
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 3: your turn, he said, I am a fizzler.

698
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: He literally was like Oh yeah, I do that ship

699
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: all the time.

700
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 5: Why no, I think.

701
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: When we go somebody, don't we don't want to like

702
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: come off like old first, be cold and like some

703
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: fucking bitch.

704
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 5: I'm out of heat. So it's like, let just pull

705
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 5: back a little bit at a.

706
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 3: Time to hopefully they play off the way they didn't

707
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 3: need to, maybe like inspire conversation.

708
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: More than a relationship.

709
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: Though.

710
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 4: I do that with like the talking phase, Like if

711
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 4: a nigga does something that gives me the itch, but

712
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 4: I feel like we've been on a few dates, maybe

713
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 4: I feel wrong to cut you off all the way,

714
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 4: or maybe you don't even deserve that much of a conbo.

715
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: I will definitely take two days to sex back. Sorry,

716
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 4: podcasting is so hard.

717
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: I hate so much.

718
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: I'm really going through it. Yeah, that's what I'll be doing.

719
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 6: That's like that mean with that fat nigga with the

720
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 6: dreads and he just kind of disappears.

721
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: Oh my god, exactly what it is?

722
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 6: I think with my girl, man, when I was acting

723
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 6: like that, it was like I had been going through

724
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 6: something and she was so supportive and so instrumental. He

725
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 6: actually asked me that earlier. She was one of the

726
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 6: people that was like so instrumental in helping me to

727
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 6: get better, and was looking that look past so many

728
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 6: things that I felt so emotionally connected to her even

729
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 6: though I didn't want to be with her no more.

730
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,719
Speaker 6: You know, maybe there was a sense of fear of

731
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 6: losing like that support.

732
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: Even though you didn't want to be with her anymore.

733
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that you could stick through it.

734
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I was actually gonna say.

735
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 3: I think there's also a narrative though, women, if you

736
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 3: stick with the man through his bullshit, through his cheating,

737
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 3: through his.

738
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 5: He gonna rock with you.

739
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: He's gonna give you this ring because he didn't drug

740
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 3: you through the mud, and you will realize bit and

741
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 3: you will ride or die Like there's women too.

742
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: That's the only true.

743
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 6: That that troubles me though, because it's like women will

744
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 6: never let something go for real. And so if you're

745
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 6: now gonna build what's supposed to be a healthy relationship

746
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 6: on all the bones of like your past, same unhealthy relationship,

747
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 6: it's always going to be in the back of her

748
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 6: mind that hurt you always.

749
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 2: You can forgive, but you can't forget.

750
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 3: You think that there should be an element of not

751
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: forget that shit happened to if you forgave me.

752
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 6: No, I'm just being real, like, I don't know if

753
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 6: she ever really gonna forgive you everything.

754
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this.

755
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 4: You just made me think because at first I didn't

756
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 4: realize you were talking about the same person when dating.

757
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 1: When you hear women.

758
00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 4: Talking about how they've been cheated on or had some

759
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 4: trun I'm in their last relationship, is it completely a

760
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 4: turn off for you?

761
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: Like, do you feel like, I don't know.

762
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 5: Say they've been cheated on? Trauma?

763
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 4: The example, one of my friends, who's actually a good dude,

764
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 4: went on a date with a girl he likes and

765
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 4: on the second date, she started telling him about bad experiences.

766
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 4: He's like, bro, Like she's so dope, Like I just

767
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 4: am not gonna be like dealing with her in the

768
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 4: trauma from her baggage. She's like, I already traveled too

769
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 4: three times a week, you know what I'm saying for work.

770
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: Now she's gonna be thinking I'm going.

771
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 5: To add more baggage. Yeah.

772
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 4: I think that a woman can maybe like dumped down

773
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 4: on you too quick or like, does that ever turn

774
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 4: you off?

775
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 1: The woman's been through some shit.

776
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 6: I've never thought that that would turn me off, because

777
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 6: I think it would be because and you did through that,

778
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 6: you know, so I've never I've never seen it that way.

779
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 6: And we all got trauma on our own levels and

780
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 6: our own experiences. So I wouldn't hold that against a

781
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 6: person personally, Yeah.

782
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 5: I don't.

783
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: I don't think I would, but I know I've, like

784
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to go into dating just differently

785
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 3: now like apparently I got going.

786
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 4: I think I would from women if they were so angry.

787
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 4: I think when someone's talking like they're still mad. I've

788
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 4: always said on this podcast, when I meet men and

789
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 4: they talk nicely and kindly about their excess, I love

790
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 4: it because I just, to me, that's just a quality

791
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:21,959
Speaker 4: that we don't see.

792
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: People are so ready to shoot on someone.

793
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 4: Friendships too, you know, like there's friends I don't talk

794
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 4: to anywhere, but I had amazing friendships with them in

795
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 4: that in that moment, And so when you see someone, yeah, you.

796
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 5: Know that that's a red flag for something, Yeah.

797
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: Because you're scared, like.

798
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 3: And a lot of people that have that, Like when

799
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 3: you're falling out a lot, or like you're really angry,

800
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 3: I start to wonder, like what am I about to

801
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 3: see in you that you haven't shown me yet, because.

802
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 4: It might be it's almost too much. And I do

803
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 4: believe that like through getting to know someone, their past

804
00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 4: relationships tell you a lot about it. I think, for example,

805
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 4: even though you and I have both been through painful relationships,

806
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 4: I think something I would learn about you, You guys

807
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 4: had such an explorative sexual side to your relationship, right.

808
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 4: I think what that shows me is that like, you're

809
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 4: not not even beyond the non monogamy more than like

810
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 4: you're a pleaser, but you also want to enjoy your

811
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 4: own sexuality with that person. I would know that if

812
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 4: I was dating you, I can't expect you to just

813
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 4: be all about me when your own pleasure is part

814
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:38,439
Speaker 4: of your relationship. Like I think your sexuality with him did.

815
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 4: There's where people will say you let him fuck a

816
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 4: bunch of it's is I actually never looked at it

817
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 4: like that.

818
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 2: Well, but we did that because I wanted to be

819
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 2: with women.

820
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 3: I know, and I think you showed that's the same

821
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 3: thing with you though you had a lot of relationships

822
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 3: with women, but you also really like women. So I mean,

823
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 3: I don't know. To me, it's going to be tough

824
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,880
Speaker 3: going into dating with the struggle of what that relationship

825
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 3: looked like. Because I was non monogamous, I allowed you

826
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 3: to some and even the word allowed. We allowed each

827
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 3: other to be ourselves, and that still left me betrayed,

828
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 3: cheated on.

829
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: But that's mad pressure for a nigga.

830
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 4: Imagine if you met a girl like I think and

831
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 4: me and you both are last relationships were like this, right,

832
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 4: I think when niggas meet me and they hear my

833
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 4: ex and I were having mad three stems, like the

834
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 4: fact that last lap birthed so many hoes come to

835
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 4: my house, it's insane, like the bow I was upstairs,

836
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 4: the downstairs, the upstairs, like it was like at one

837
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 4: point it almost was sad that I was fucking so

838
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 4: many girls that a last They always just like anyway,

839
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 4: the point is telling that to another man. They're like,

840
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 4: oh shit, now I've got to keep up with this,

841
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 4: Like they know that this is something that was exciting

842
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 4: for me in my last relationship.

843
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: So am I going to be the nigga that boring?

844
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 4: Like I do think you can tell a lot from

845
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 4: how someone kind of moved what they're into.

846
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna say I was a nun. I'm lying.

847
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 6: I feel like I never really know you know what

848
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 6: I mean? Like I rarely even get that deep with people.

849
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, What do you mean like

850
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 6: to even pick up on red flags? Like I've always

851
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 6: had a girlfriend, you know, I was like a kid.

852
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: What's your son dat?

853
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 5: I'm a gemini, not as getting into signs.

854
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: What's your birthday?

855
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 5: June sixth? Okay?

856
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 6: You know, so I always had a girlfriend since I

857
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 6: was a kid, and but I'd be doing a lot.

858
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 6: I would just be so I would not be invested

859
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 6: enough to even be like acknowledging flags red, yellow, whatever,

860
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 6: Like I'd be like.

861
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 3: What do you think you were having girlfriends? He said

862
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 3: everything was bad, bitch, companionship especial if you knew you

863
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: couldn't be faithful.

864
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 6: It's probably a motherly thing, man, It's probably psychological, like

865
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 6: some Sigmund Freud ship.

866
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 2: He's a reader, y'all. He's a singing Freud, right, Yo.

867
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: There's a lot of Freudian shit that I feel like

868
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: men say to me when they like when I like,

869
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: maybe if I'm rubbing them or massaging them and they

870
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: start to like tell me I'm nurturing, I'm like, oh,

871
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 1: because your head is on me, like this is like

872
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: some mommy shit it is. It's totally like it's sick. Well,

873
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 1: but here I am be like daddy, oh god.

874
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 3: Well, I wanted to get into this twelve step program

875
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 3: that you went through, because to do it at twenty

876
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 3: five is crazy, but also getting to the point where

877
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 3: you're like, nah, I have this problem and I would

878
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 3: like to seek help for it. I kind of want

879
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,760
Speaker 3: to go down them and at any point I would

880
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 3: love for you to be like this was a hard

881
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 3: step for me, or this step really pushed me to

882
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 3: keep going, Like alcohol Anonymous, the first step is admitting

883
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 3: that you have a problem, right, and so step one

884
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 3: says we admitted that we were powerless over sex and

885
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 3: love addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable. You

886
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 3: talked about how you felt like it was connected to

887
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 3: the to the drugs as well, and why that became unmanageable.

888
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: The second one was that you came to believe that

889
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 3: a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

890
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 3: What did that mean specifically? Because to me, when I

891
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 3: read this, there is a lot of God talk and

892
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 3: I'm not very religious.

893
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 5: So for someone who I was not at all either.

894
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 3: You're not very okay, So what does what does this

895
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 3: mean when you're not looking at this from a religious standpoint,

896
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 3: because again, when we go down it, the word God

897
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 3: is used often.

898
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,760
Speaker 6: Well, you know what, really the first most significant thing

899
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 6: that I recall from it was the celibacy.

900
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 5: So you start and your celibate. You know, I'm going

901
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 5: through the program. Now get this.

902
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 6: So I was celibate for like eight months or something

903
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 6: like that, and this first step whatever second step. I

904
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 6: was not religious at the time, Okay, So I decided

905
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 6: to make my higher power my grandmother. So I got

906
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 6: this that of her on my hand. I was gonna

907
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 6: put give it to Granny because it's basically like unloading

908
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 6: your burdens from yourself and giving them to your higher power.

909
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

910
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 6: When you're going through everything alone, that shit could be

911
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 6: so isolated and it's so difficult.

912
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 5: If you can.

913
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 6: Invite a higher power, whatever that means to you, if

914
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 6: you believe in cosmic divine order, if you can invite

915
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 6: your faith in that into what you're doing. Because my

916
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 6: grammy Granny, seeing me doing anything, I'll do this reminds.

917
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 5: Me of my poet, let me do it.

918
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 4: There's an episode of True Life MTV was like addicted

919
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 4: to porn and the dude made the password I love.

920
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 5: It.

921
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 6: Just you just made me think about the program though,

922
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 6: because sometimes I would go to the sex Addicts meetings,

923
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 6: Like I went to one of those and I was like, man,

924
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 6: I don't know if I got the same problem these

925
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,240
Speaker 6: niggas got, because.

926
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 5: They was like, you know, my life is in shambles.

927
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 6: I'm on skid roll and I'm still like jack it

928
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 6: off behind the tent, and I'm like, gang.

929
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 5: Got the same issue? Gay? Well, I mean I think.

930
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 3: That that's what we talk about too, in terms of

931
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 3: the hierarchy of things, right, Like, sometimes we don't recognize

932
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 3: anything's an issue because when.

933
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 2: We look at the other end of the spectrum, that

934
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:26,280
Speaker 2: is crazy.

935
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 5: Are you masturbating when I was celebrating now?

936
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: Oh wait?

937
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 5: Oh oh wait?

938
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 2: Why not? Was that a part of the program, They said.

939
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 6: You, Well, I was just trying to gain control over

940
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 6: my sexuality, over my body, you know what I mean.

941
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 6: I felt like I had been sober from alcohol or

942
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 6: weed or whatever drugs at different points of time. I

943
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 6: had done that before. Sex was the only area where

944
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 6: I felt very powerless, and I had to really connect

945
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 6: it to my to health. You know what I'm saying,

946
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 6: like I feel like having depression or you know, anxiety,

947
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 6: things like that, which I was deep in the throes

948
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 6: of at that time, is being unable to cope with

949
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 6: the constant urges of your mind towards the morose, the negative,

950
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 6: self destruction, et cetera. You know, to put that in

951
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,800
Speaker 6: the context of the program about sex and love addiction,

952
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 6: it was like I didn't feel like I could control

953
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 6: the compulsions to you know, fucking ambitious.

954
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: Like masturbating my But wait, what's your advice?

955
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 5: Then?

956
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 6: I just wanted to be in norug. I just wanted

957
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 6: to be like in control of myself. You know, do

958
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 6: you think we all need vices?

959
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 5: Though?

960
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 2: When you ask what's your advice?

961
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 3: Do you feel like, as human beings we all need

962
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 3: something that we know is the program?

963
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 5: Food?

964
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, did you gain weight? Did you get fat?

965
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:49,439
Speaker 6: WHOA?

966
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 2: No?

967
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, like what did.

968
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 1: You indulge in?

969
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 7: That?

970
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: Felt like maybe the gym was in it.

971
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't know.

972
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: Spending money. Were you spending a lot of money?

973
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 5: Did you I spent a lot of bread.

974
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 6: But you know, the thing about the program is like

975
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 6: it's really more about relationships though, So it was more

976
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 6: about like dependency and attachment and validation. And there were

977
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 6: people in there that weren't having sex at all.

978
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 5: It was just like, you.

979
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 6: Know, fully in the throes of like obsession about their

980
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 6: ex wife or what it may be.

981
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 5: It was really about relationship. That's why I really went.

982
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 6: You know, but at the time, Vice, I think when

983
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 6: I was celibate, I don't know if I don't think

984
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 6: I was sober at that time.

985
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 1: You know, it was like I need something I'm not.

986
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 5: You know. It was like also.

987
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 6: During that time, you know, trying to keep trying to

988
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 6: keep women off of me in that moment was crazy

989
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 6: because they'd be like, you know, I just got in

990
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 6: the gym for the first time, Like I looked like

991
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 6: a grown man for the first.

992
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 5: Guy, and you were celibate, super high. I got Chase

993
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,720
Speaker 5: coming to my house and I'm telling them, like, you know.

994
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,359
Speaker 1: If I suck your dick, is it still selling?

995
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 6: I said, I can't do this with you. You know,

996
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 6: I'm celibate for this amount of time. So April, you know,

997
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 6: how do women receive you? She was like, well, what

998
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 6: about April twenty eight. I'm like, if you don't get

999
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 6: the funk out of my house way over here?

1000
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 4: Oh god, this was but he did see. This is

1001
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 4: why when you say you're celibate, you don't have a date.

1002
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 1: You just mentioned a date.

1003
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 4: He had object that had to finish for his celibacy, right,

1004
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 4: So like that's why I like, I keep saying, like

1005
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 4: what is it too? Because abcident and celibacy, celibacy seems

1006
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,640
Speaker 4: like there's a date there, and so there.

1007
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 3: Wasn't actual date for you. You set a date in

1008
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 3: your celibacy journey.

1009
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 6: I don't even know if that if that was a

1010
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 6: real date or if that was like sebtrary and I

1011
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,359
Speaker 6: just told her that the goal was to get through

1012
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 6: this program. Okay, okay, okay, So you're supposed to, like

1013
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 6: when you do it, you're actually supposed to stop seeing.

1014
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 5: Like women in general. I don't even think you're supposed

1015
00:46:59,440 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 5: to like kick it.

1016
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 6: With your female friends or your male friends, vice versa

1017
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 6: when you start doing a program. It was a whole thing, honestly,

1018
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 6: because it was like I had just met a woman

1019
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 6: that like I was super into, you know, and she

1020
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 6: was flying, super smart, she resonated with me on a

1021
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 6: lot of those levels in the same you know, vein

1022
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 6: of professional ship or whatever. And so then I had

1023
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 6: to cut my contact with her though, you know, and

1024
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 6: I'm thinking it was only supposed to be for a month.

1025
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 6: So I'm thinking, man, I'm gonna come back. She's still

1026
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 6: gonna be there. You know, she didn't disappear for real.

1027
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 4: I was hurt you for coming back, and I was hurt,

1028
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 4: but taking the time for yourself and like actually coming back.

1029
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 6: I was glad I did ultimately, you know, because there

1030
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 6: was a moment. It was like in that celibacy and

1031
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 6: just that moment of self reflection. I was in a

1032
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 6: hotel room one time in New York. Actually I just

1033
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 6: like broke down in the hotel. I felt, you know,

1034
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 6: that I was perceiving that this woman was starting to

1035
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 6: love me or something, and I just felt so unlovable,

1036
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 6: you know.

1037
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 5: I felt like just guilty and terribly about myself. So

1038
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 5: I broke down.

1039
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 6: I'm like crying all crazy and feeling like I can't

1040
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 6: be loved, you know.

1041
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 5: I go and tell my sponsor.

1042
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 6: And he's like, these is old British students, but you

1043
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,919
Speaker 6: have to stop seeing this woman immediately, So I told

1044
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 6: her that, but I was so salty though when I

1045
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 6: came back and she was gone, I was hurt. But

1046
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 6: it was like, ultimately I had to sacrifice in order

1047
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 6: to learn the skills and the tools with which I

1048
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,879
Speaker 6: can be a better man. I could be a more

1049
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 6: integrated person, of more integrity.

1050
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 2: And that was step four.

1051
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 3: Step four is you made a searching and fearless moral

1052
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 3: inventory of yourself, and you just explained what that was.

1053
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 2: I skipt up.

1054
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 5: The inventory was a different thing.

1055
00:48:58,719 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

1056
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 5: It was like, what.

1057
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 2: Did you have to create a list of how bad you?

1058
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 5: This is the inventory I think it is. It's not

1059
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:09,840
Speaker 5: two inventories.

1060
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:14,479
Speaker 2: No, no, this is the only inventory you really noticed.

1061
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 5: This is step This is step step was crazy.

1062
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 6: It was like, you have to make a list of

1063
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 6: all the sexual experiences you've ever had, data from childhood,

1064
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 6: not just when you had sex, but any type of

1065
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 6: sexual experience if you can remember the person's name, name, Uh,

1066
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 6: what did basic details of the situation are and also

1067
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 6: the motivation behind it.

1068
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 2: So so right after doing that, though, and I want

1069
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 2: to get into you actually calling these people because there's

1070
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 2: another step.

1071
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 3: So after this step, you make the inventory. You then

1072
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 3: admit to the God and to yourself and to another

1073
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: human being of the exact nature of the wrongs that

1074
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 3: you did to these people. Then it says you humbly

1075
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 3: ask God to remove your shortcomings. But after you made.

1076
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,440
Speaker 4: That up for a second, yes, why are you admitting

1077
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 4: that you did something wrong by fucking somebody?

1078
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: Can we talk about that?

1079
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 2: Well, maybe it's the treatment of that person not oh,

1080
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 2: or was it the fucking of them as well?

1081
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 6: In the inventory? I just remember I was sitting at

1082
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 6: a diner in la and I was there for about

1083
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 6: sixteen hours.

1084
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: You know how many millions do you order?

1085
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 6: Sitting there straight sixteen I was trying to rack my

1086
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 6: brain for every you know, woman on tour in Berlin,

1087
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 6: you know, girl at music festival something, you know what

1088
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 6: I mean, Like I.

1089
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: Have guys from fire truck my phone, and.

1090
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 5: The motivations for all that shit.

1091
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 6: Man, it was like, that's when I realized that it

1092
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 6: wasn't about sex, you know, I realized it was just

1093
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 6: about validation.

1094
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 5: It was about seeking control, seeking power. And by the

1095
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 5: time I.

1096
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 6: Got you know, one hundred and fifty something, I got

1097
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:55,279
Speaker 6: to like my girlfriend something I was That's when it

1098
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 6: just hit me.

1099
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 5: That's when I really that's when I broke down and.

1100
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: I was like, is there were more after her?

1101
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 6: Well a lot of those were while I was with her,

1102
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 6: you know, And it was just like to have to

1103
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:16,439
Speaker 6: look so blatantly at like the plane I put these

1104
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 6: people through, these women that I loved, to look so

1105
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 6: clearly at the and to see that it was like

1106
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 6: just for my own insecurity. It was all my own insecurities.

1107
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 6: That's the part that hit different, you know. And then

1108
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 6: I quit after a couple of steps later. Wait, so eight,

1109
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 6: I got to make it?

1110
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 3: So the list is the making Yeah, so step eight

1111
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 3: so you didn't make it a twelve eight is made

1112
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,720
Speaker 3: a list of the persons we get harmed and become

1113
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 3: willing to make amends with them.

1114
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 5: All that was the whole purpose. That was why I

1115
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 5: wanted to do it.

1116
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 4: So once I got ye, this isn't for celebrity but

1117
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 4: ho hoes, Like I guess it is, But like I

1118
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 4: feel like when I've heard about love, addiction and stuff.

1119
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,320
Speaker 4: I've listened to some podcasts and it's always these people

1120
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 4: that are like in a small town that go crazy.

1121
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 4: But I really be thinking, like, could you make a list?

1122
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,840
Speaker 4: Could I make it like I have of all the names.

1123
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 3: And even when you make the list on air, I

1124
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 3: had to help you because you forgot something.

1125
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I get like, yeah, well, you're allowed to

1126
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:16,240
Speaker 2: forget people.

1127
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 5: I'm sure. I'm sure I forgot.

1128
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 2: The list.

1129
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 5: I'd be forgetting ship all the time. I'd be having

1130
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 5: an ax niggas like.

1131
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 3: That's not where you're supposed to laugh, Britney render forgot

1132
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 3: hers at thirty five.

1133
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 2: Ye, no, that's what I'm saying. I'm if I don't

1134
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 2: have to know all of them and I can still make.

1135
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 5: A list, How on earth could I remember everything was

1136
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 5: about it? Oh?

1137
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 3: I okay, how on a Well, I'm not gonna lie

1138
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 3: when you said one fifty I knew you were forgetting names.

1139
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,879
Speaker 2: I have you painned it way more than one fishy.

1140
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 1: Ain't gonna lie when you said one fifty. Thing to say.

1141
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 3: Like I said multiple, That word has five in a night, buddy,

1142
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 3: But you.

1143
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 1: Know, like for the average wait, let me let me

1144
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: watch my words. Okay.

1145
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 4: The hoes that I know, these are not I batties,

1146
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 4: the women, These are not the I G batties with

1147
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 4: crazy access. These are just regular hoes in the city.

1148
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 4: They about foty niggas by a thirty. Now add in

1149
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 4: some money, adding a dick, and add in clout there's

1150
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:18,320
Speaker 4: no way you're.

1151
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: Like, I just can't.

1152
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: These are bitches that shout out to my friends. I

1153
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 1: ain't saying a dance like.

1154
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 4: I really think men could fuck on average, I think

1155
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 4: and be okay with their lives.

1156
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: Probably five different women a week.

1157
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: Oh they could fuck. Yeah, I'm just.

1158
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 4: Saying like for for regular, like I really believe you

1159
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 4: could do one every other day, Like I really do.

1160
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 3: I've seen well with that mindset then, and I don't

1161
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 3: think you are irens fucking dumber And I need to

1162
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 3: ask a man their body count? But is that something

1163
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 3: that would steer you away from a man if he

1164
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:51,919
Speaker 3: had said he had been.

1165
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 4: Through this many women? I think I want a datah,

1166
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 4: I want a niggay. Do you and your girl be

1167
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 4: sharing host stories?

1168
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: I love that.

1169
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 3: Oh they're not really a thousand, but I'll take a

1170
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 3: nigga five hundred plus disease free.

1171
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 4: Five hundred is a lot, but I'm going up to

1172
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 4: fifty two. Do you and your girls share stories in

1173
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 4: a fun way?

1174
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 5: Like?

1175
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 4: Have you been able to make your stories like this

1176
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 4: thing of like I've healed.

1177
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's crazy story.

1178
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:18,919
Speaker 2: You don't talk about it. I love doing that ship.

1179
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 2: I want to know. I want to know the type

1180
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 2: of rock star a person was.

1181
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 5: I don't know what.

1182
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 2: You don't want to well, you don't want to know

1183
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:26,399
Speaker 2: what she did?

1184
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 5: No chance, no no, no no no.

1185
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: It looks like a very nice girl. But when you

1186
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: see a baddie like that, it's like, So.

1187
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 3: With stopping this program, then at step eight you have

1188
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 3: four more to go. What did then your self journey

1189
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 3: look like and preparing yourself to be a better partner

1190
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,839
Speaker 3: with the next person or whoever you got with after

1191
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,879
Speaker 3: your celibacy journey, after the healing. What what were those

1192
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 3: conversations by yourself without the program?

1193
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 6: You don't think it took time to really sink in.

1194
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 6: I definitely hit a you know, but I stayed out

1195
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,399
Speaker 6: of relationships so I could, so.

1196
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,920
Speaker 5: I cannot lie, right. Yeah. The biggest thing for me

1197
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 5: was always the lion. You know.

1198
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,280
Speaker 6: It was never that I have no judgment for people

1199
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 6: for sex that when you asked about that, I don't

1200
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 6: think sex is something you have to apologize to God for,

1201
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 6: you know. I think maybe in that step I would

1202
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:30,280
Speaker 6: have interpreted that as like apologizing to God or admitting

1203
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 6: to God that like I knew I made bad decisions,

1204
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 6: because most of those were bad decisions, you know what

1205
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 6: I mean, those were horrible decisions, very explicitly by the name.

1206
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 6: That was the definition of horrible. That's why I would

1207
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,319
Speaker 6: have been admitting to God. But you know, after that, yeah,

1208
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 6: I just kept kept doing my same thing. But it

1209
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 6: was like something had changed in me and I couldn't

1210
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 6: pretend that I didn't know why I was doing this anymore.

1211
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 5: So it just took away a lot of the flippant like.

1212
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 6: Senseless sex, or at least the ability to pretend with

1213
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 6: myself like this was good for me, like this was

1214
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 6: a good look, this was a good move because I

1215
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 6: had already done this inventory of myself and realized that, man,

1216
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 6: I was tearing myself apart with this shit, and this

1217
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 6: shit was about shit I need to go deal with.

1218
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 5: This was about emotional issues. This was not about these women.

1219
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,600
Speaker 6: So let me figure out how I can address myself

1220
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 6: and grow stronger in these places of weakness. So I

1221
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,799
Speaker 6: don't feel like I need to go hit a girl

1222
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 6: off Instagram to be validated. Is there another way I

1223
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:40,880
Speaker 6: can gain validation.

1224
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 4: Man, No, I just it's a life I need. Don't

1225
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 4: think that, like, I don't know, it's weird. Listening to

1226
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 4: you talk makes me feel good, like I could maybe

1227
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 4: meet a man that is younger and.

1228
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, aware of but I just don't see.

1229
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 2: I mean, but I think i'm me either. And I

1230
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:02,879
Speaker 2: was just with a fifty year old action like that,

1231
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 2: acting like he was twenty one, lying. But I don't

1232
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 2: think I acknowledged it until when you said in the

1233
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:13,319
Speaker 2: very beginning that honor and honesty is not something that

1234
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 2: got a man praised as much as it did the

1235
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 2: conquering and the power and how many women he had.

1236
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: This is fucking game of thrones.

1237
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 2: And I didn't think.

1238
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 3: I didn't think I more, I didn't think I even

1239
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 3: looked at it like that. And so when you could

1240
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 3: see here and realize that those people and I mean,

1241
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, maybe this is the thing that I'm

1242
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 3: going through right now in the self inventory of when

1243
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 3: I look back at.

1244
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 2: The bodies that I have no praise, this is it.

1245
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 1: It didn't make Meigga say that Queen, knock it out.

1246
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 1: This is too much. This is medieval shit.

1247
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 2: I don't want no King not being you know an

1248
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 2: I was one of those.

1249
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 5: Couldn't you tell a really nice guy.

1250
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 2: Does he hit you with the grand minsing?

1251
00:57:55,600 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: He was definitely you know, I don't like it, but

1252
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: I definitely.

1253
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 3: So he just doesn't tell you, girl, I get greetings

1254
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 3: love type shit readings love.

1255
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 1: He definitely talks about the spiritual plane run.

1256
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 5: I could peep that whole shit.

1257
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: Why do you think we were read a fucking being rush?

1258
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 3: Did the way that you spoke to women or like,

1259
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 3: as in a general like, if there became a greater

1260
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 3: deal of respect for them through you knowing how much

1261
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 3: you harmed them, did the way you speak to them

1262
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:23,919
Speaker 3: change at all?

1263
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,320
Speaker 2: Did the way you showed up with them change?

1264
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 6: I definitely try to watch the way I speak to women,

1265
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 6: you know, I mean and just like be respectful and

1266
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 6: appreciate women. At the same time, though a lot of

1267
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 6: time when I was dealing with mad women, it was

1268
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 6: like I really didn't care though, you know, so I

1269
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 6: was not emotionally invested in these women would become very

1270
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 6: emotionally invested in me, and maybe I could be guilty

1271
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 6: if it wouldn't be love bombing, I would just be

1272
00:58:57,840 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 6: myself and I'll talk to them like I talked to

1273
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 6: you all.

1274
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 5: I would talk about Jazz, I would talk about.

1275
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 6: X Y, bringing mom, bringing on my motorcycle or something,

1276
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 6: you know, and they'd be like straight in love.

1277
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 3: But I'm like, we just had this conversation. All you

1278
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 3: got to do is hold a conversation.

1279
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 4: I realized my best advice I ever got is the

1280
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 4: dude in the studio with Alex literally said to me,

1281
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 4: I'm going to tell you something so you aren't hurt anymore.

1282
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,919
Speaker 1: The last dude I dated was doing all the ship

1283
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 1: for me.

1284
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 4: I couldn't understand why he was picking me up while

1285
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 4: we were cudding, while we're going to these nice restaurants.

1286
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 4: He was like, it's not you. This is how he

1287
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 4: dates people, and this is how he does it alone.

1288
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 4: He's laying up with you when he's done because he

1289
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 4: wants to cuddle. He's having breakfast with you because he

1290
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 4: wants company.

1291
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 5: I wasn't doing all that though. I was never. I

1292
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 5: wasn't dating.

1293
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 2: I'm not just talking to them on the motorcycle, and

1294
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 2: they liked me.

1295
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 5: I never. I never dated a lot of people for

1296
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 5: though I ain't gonna lie.

1297
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 2: I just told one hundred and fifty buss that now dating,

1298
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't dating.

1299
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 6: I've had a few girlfriends in my life, like you know,

1300
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:02,200
Speaker 6: easily fit on one and other than that you.

1301
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 2: Have sex more than once.

1302
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 1: It's dating.

1303
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 6: Yep, He's like, I don't think so.

1304
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 3: Tell people where to find you. If you've got something

1305
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 3: new pop give us.

1306
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 4: If you got any music a lot that I would

1307
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,840
Speaker 4: say speaks to the man that you've talked about today,

1308
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 4: I think would be really dope, like just about whether

1309
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 4: it be women treating him right, love bombing, or any

1310
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 4: of like.

1311
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 1: This kind of stuff. I think it'd be really cool

1312
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 1: to listen to it.

1313
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 6: I like just I would send people to my new album, Victor,

1314
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 6: that's out now and you can find me at vict

1315
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 6: Messa everywhere.

1316
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 4: Can't sign the Damns because he has a girlfriend unless

1317
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 4: you guys, well you are their plans to open it.

1318
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 5: Up as as.

1319
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 2: He's like, no, Pindor's box.

1320
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 1: That's let's get all right, get him out of here.

1321
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 2: We have y'all.

1322
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 3: Make sure you guys get Victor. And I'm sorry I

1323
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 3: always have to tell everyone here we go. One of

1324
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 3: my favorite was the autobiography. That album is what introduced

1325
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 3: me to you and was absolutely phenomenal and he talks

1326
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 3: about home Records and a whole bunch of other cool

1327
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 3: stuff on that album as well, So y'all make sure

1328
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:11,720
Speaker 3: you guys stream it, purchase it, do what you gotta do.

1329
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 3: Follow him at vic mensa. And even though he has

1330
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 3: a girlfriend, he's also really good to look at because

1331
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 3: he came with a jacket today. He don't wear as

1332
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,800
Speaker 3: much clothes on his Instagram, So make sure you follow

1333
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 3: him at vicpncer. And again, make sure you guys support

1334
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 3: us by going over to our patreon that's patreon dot com,

1335
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 3: back Slash Horrible Decisions, and we also on tour pus

1336
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 3: us host. Most of it sold out on the East Coast,

1337
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 3: y'all because y'all fuck with us, But go ahead and

1338
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 3: get your tickets on the East Coast if there's any

1339
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 3: left in your city, and if not, we will post

1340
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:41,240
Speaker 3: the flyer of when we are there in the cities.

1341
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: And for people that cannot make it, they normally sell

1342
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 3: their tickets off in the comments, so there's still is

1343
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 3: a chance they already miss the international dates. Yespect us too.

1344
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're on international tour anyways, guys.

1345
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 3: Thank y'all for tuning in to yet another episode of

1346
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 3: Horrible Decisions.

1347
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 1: Bye Nice,