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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming.

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Speaker 3: Up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes. We'll get

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Speaker 1: into the episode.

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Speaker 4: My mom abandoned me as a baby. Now my new

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Speaker 4: family betrayed me.

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Speaker 3: Throw all the families away for.

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Speaker 4: A bit of context, This all happened in the year

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Speaker 4: of twenty twenty one. Me female twenty three, My ex

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Speaker 4: best friend, also the same age and female. Let's call

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Speaker 4: her Gina. Her little sister, let's call her Ginny twenty one.

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Speaker 4: Their brother Tim fifteen, their mom Susan forty five, and

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Speaker 4: their dad Chad forty seven. So they're all living under

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Speaker 4: the same roof at my family's house. How did this happen,

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Speaker 4: you ask, Well, we're gonna find out. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from user baby Cakes ninety eight on the

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Speaker 4: Charlotte Dobray YouTube stumbre ad it and if you want

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Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, what are the RM flash

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Speaker 4: Okay story Time stumbred it.

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Speaker 2: I am an only child.

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Speaker 4: My mom went to work overseas when I was just

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Speaker 4: two years old.

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Speaker 2: And my dad passed away when I was well.

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Speaker 4: I grew up with my grandmother who loved me dearly,

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Speaker 4: and an uncle who treated me as his own daughter.

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Speaker 4: My uncle also worked overseas. When I turned ten years old,

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Speaker 4: when my dad passed away, I was left with my grandmother.

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Speaker 4: My mom was financially present for me and always made

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Speaker 4: life easier for me, as she is still providing everything

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Speaker 4: that I needed financially. When I reached the age of eighteen,

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Speaker 4: my grandmother was asked to live with my aunt, who

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Speaker 4: was living in another city, which was about an hour

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Speaker 4: and forty five minutes away on a plane. She was

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Speaker 4: asked to stay there for two years and I couldn't

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Speaker 4: come with her as I'm still in college. I told

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Speaker 4: her I could survive alone now since I was eighteen.

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Speaker 4: My grandmother, being the loving grandmother that she is, does

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Speaker 4: not want me to be alone in our house, as

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Speaker 4: she knows it gets lonely there.

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Speaker 2: Our home is not that big.

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Speaker 4: It is a bungalow house with four bedrooms and is

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Speaker 4: all made out of wood. To assure my grandma that

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Speaker 4: I will be okay, I asked her if it's okay

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Speaker 4: that my best friend Gina and her sister Jinny stayed

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Speaker 4: with me at our house. Since we practically know each

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Speaker 4: other since elementary school and have stayed as friends until college.

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Speaker 4: My grandma agreed, as she trusted Gina and their entire family,

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Speaker 4: was decided that Gina and Genny will stay with me

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Speaker 4: at our house.

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Speaker 2: The first few months were okay.

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Speaker 4: We were happy doing teenager stuff and of course enjoying

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Speaker 4: the perks of living alone. We stayed up late, talked

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Speaker 4: about boys and girls as I am by, and basically

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Speaker 4: just did what teenagers would do. After a few months

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Speaker 4: of staying together, I have noticed that their mom has

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Speaker 4: already been taking baths in our house. I didn't mind,

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Speaker 4: as she was also like a third mom to me. However,

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Speaker 4: their dad also did the same, and their little brother

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Speaker 4: coming to our house to use our comfort room. For

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Speaker 4: additional context, they don't have their own house. They were

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Speaker 4: living with their grandparents too, and although the house is

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Speaker 4: bigger than ours, they have two families living there, thus

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Speaker 4: their home is very crowded. They're a family of five

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Speaker 4: plus their other family members, which is a family of four,

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Speaker 4: their aunt and their grandma, so a total of eleven

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Speaker 4: people live at their house and they only have one

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Speaker 4: comfort room, so I really did not mind the subtle changes.

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Speaker 4: So a few more months passed and they were punted

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Speaker 4: out of that house as their grandma and their mom

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Speaker 4: had a fight due to the cleanliness of the house.

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Speaker 4: Their mom told me that their grandma was asking her

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Speaker 4: to clean the entire house, even if it's not their mess,

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Speaker 4: and she got fed up. So they had an argument,

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Speaker 4: leading to them being punted out and they have nowhere

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Speaker 4: to go. So me, being the naive girl who has

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Speaker 4: been with this family for almost all my life, I

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Speaker 4: called my grandma and asked if they could stay at

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Speaker 4: our house temporarily, as they have nowhere to go and

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Speaker 4: we have three extra rooms. My grandma reluctantly agreed, but

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Speaker 4: we called my uncle first to ask, and my uncle

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Speaker 4: strongly disagreed, but I pleaded with him, me being the

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Speaker 4: only niece.

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Speaker 2: He agreed.

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Speaker 4: This family moved in with me at my own house.

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Speaker 4: The first few months were great. They didn't treat me differently.

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Speaker 4: They treated me like family, feeding me their food, giving

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Speaker 4: me what they had, and even including me in their

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Speaker 4: family outing. However, this temporary stay turned into years. At

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Speaker 4: this point, they've been staying at our house for two years.

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Speaker 4: The house that I once maintained with cleanliness was now

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Speaker 4: all trashed, with soiled clothes everywhere, reeking stench of dog

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Speaker 4: poop and pea as they had dogs, and they never

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Speaker 4: clean cigarette butts of their dad and brother well over

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Speaker 4: the place.

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Speaker 2: They never washed the bed sheets and pillowcases.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so Grandma the last house.

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Speaker 2: Was right, Yeah, it was them.

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Speaker 4: My grandma got home and saw the state of our house,

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Speaker 4: and obviously she got angry, and at first they cleaned,

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Speaker 4: but then they went back to their old habits. A

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Speaker 4: week later, my grandma had to go back to my

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Speaker 4: aunt's place as they didn't have anyone to watch their house.

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Speaker 4: They went out of the country for my older cousin's wedding,

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Speaker 4: so my grandma left again. I tried to endure it.

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Speaker 4: I never leave my room when I'm at home. At

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Speaker 4: this point, the tidiest place at our house was only

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Speaker 4: my room. The living room, the kitchen, and the bathroom

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Speaker 4: was filthy, dirty, soiled underwears and sanitary baths left in

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Speaker 4: the bathroom. I had to clean them, as they never did.

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Speaker 4: I was enduring this for three years now at this point,

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Speaker 4: and I bottled up my anger as I did care

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Speaker 4: for this family, and I didn't want to punt them out.

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Speaker 4: They don't have anywhere.

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Speaker 2: Else to go.

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Speaker 4: After three years, you could have undoubtedly figure out somewhere

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Speaker 4: else to go. Yes, they paid for the electricity, but

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Speaker 4: just the electricity. They never paid rent. Water here is

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Speaker 4: also free, so they just paid the electricity. We have

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Speaker 4: fresh w from the mountains, so we don't really have

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Speaker 4: a water bill. Two more years past, it is now

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Speaker 4: five years. At this point, a neighbor told me that

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Speaker 4: they were spreading lies and telling their guests that I

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Speaker 4: was the one they took in and my house was theirs. Basically,

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Speaker 4: they told people that they let me live at my

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Speaker 4: own home for free because I don't have parents. The neighbor,

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Speaker 4: being there since I was born, reacted and told the

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Speaker 4: guests that it wasn't true and that this is my

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Speaker 4: house and they were the ones living here for free.

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Speaker 4: Another neighbor came up to me and told me that

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Speaker 4: they were spreading news to the other neighbors that they

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Speaker 4: were feeding me and that I was abandoned by my family.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I was alone, but I wasn't abandoned. I

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Speaker 4: buy my own food. I had enough allowance for me

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Speaker 4: to buy my own food and groceries each month. After

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Speaker 4: that came out, I was hurt. These were the people

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Speaker 4: I trusted and cared for the most, and yet they

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Speaker 4: did this to me. At this point, I was getting

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Speaker 4: depressed as I had no one to talk.

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Speaker 2: To about this.

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Speaker 4: Luckily, my best friend asked me to go to their

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Speaker 4: place yeah to talk as he feels.

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Speaker 2: Like something is not right with me.

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Speaker 4: He stated that I was not the usual bubbly and

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Speaker 4: energetic person that he knows anymore. Then and there, I

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Speaker 4: let it all out. I cried for hours and my

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Speaker 4: best friend consoled me for hours. Now that someone knows

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Speaker 4: what I'm going through, my best friend has offered to

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Speaker 4: stay with me there. I agreed, and we again asked

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Speaker 4: my grandma and uncle for permission, and they both agreed

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Speaker 4: as they know this best friend.

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Speaker 2: Before my best friend could move in, my ex.

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Speaker 4: Bff's dad had bought a flat screen TV, which I

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Speaker 4: didn't think was conventional, knowing that the funds they used

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Speaker 4: to buy that TV were supposed to be educational aid funds.

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Speaker 4: That TV screen had broken when I arrived. I never

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Speaker 4: touched this TV, as I do not touch their things,

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Speaker 4: and I was at my best friend's house when this happened,

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Speaker 4: but they somehow blamed me for that TV being damaged.

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Speaker 4: They never told that to me straight to my face,

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Speaker 4: but multiple neighbors came to me and told me that

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Speaker 4: they were saying that I destroyed their TV. I was

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Speaker 4: shocked and my neighbors were shocked, as I never go

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Speaker 4: out of my room when I'm in the house, with

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Speaker 4: the exception of going to the bathroom and cooking, but

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Speaker 4: most of the time I'm just inside my room. I

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Speaker 4: never confronted them. The day came and my best friend

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Speaker 4: moved in with me. We shared my room as my

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Speaker 4: room had two beds. He was using the other bed

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Speaker 4: when he arrived. Their dad was mad. He was screaming

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Speaker 4: that I never asked for his permission, which is crazy

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Speaker 4: because it's not his house.

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Speaker 5: At what point in their mind did they like get

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Speaker 5: this delusion that they have owned this house the whole

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Speaker 5: time and that they are the ones doing like a

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Speaker 5: good deed for someone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we need to find where that line was, take

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Speaker 4: a time machine back to that moment and immediately get

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Speaker 4: them out of the house. Mind you, I had already

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Speaker 4: asked permission from my grandma and uncle, you know, the

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Speaker 4: people who actually own the house. I told him that

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Speaker 4: my grandma and uncle knew, so he never brought it

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Speaker 4: up again, but when I was at work. I was

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Speaker 4: working at this point and have graduated college. Since my

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Speaker 4: best friend called me and he was crying. He said

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Speaker 4: that their dad threatened him because he was worried. I

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Speaker 4: rushed home, saw my best friend at my neighbor's house

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Speaker 4: and they let him nap there while waiting for me.

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Speaker 4: This was the time I decided that I couldn't take

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Speaker 4: it anymore. I went to our local government hall. In

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Speaker 4: my country, they are called a barangay hall and are

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Speaker 4: elected barangay captain, kind of like an HOA president was

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Speaker 4: my uncle's closest friend and has known me since the

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Speaker 4: day that I was born. Pretty good guy to have

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Speaker 4: on your side in this situation. I told him everything

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Speaker 4: that happened, and I was crying. He also got worried,

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Speaker 4: as I'm the type of person that won't make a

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Speaker 4: fuss about anything unless it's extreme. He called the entire

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Speaker 4: family of my ex best friend into the barangay hall

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Speaker 4: and talked. Please know that barangay captains are powerful in

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Speaker 4: our country. They are tied with the mayors in our

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Speaker 4: city's government body. The barangay captain asked me what I

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Speaker 4: want to do. I asked if they could leave. They agreed,

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Speaker 4: but asked for a two month extension.

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Speaker 2: I said no. I said, I want them out by

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Speaker 2: the end of the week.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, And they had no choice and got

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Speaker 4: out of the house. As our conversation has left a

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Speaker 4: record at our place, and neighbors are on my side.

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Speaker 4: Last I heard they rented a place near a bridge

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Speaker 4: that gets flooded every time it rains, and some neighbors

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Speaker 4: were telling me that they were talking crap about me

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Speaker 4: and how ungrateful of a brat I am.

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Speaker 2: After they took me in as their own child.

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Speaker 6: They didn't take you in.

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Speaker 4: It's the opposite of that the child.

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Speaker 2: The child took the family in. I have never felt that.

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Speaker 4: I mean, they kind of did treat me like their

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Speaker 4: own child at first, but after five years, I.

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Speaker 2: Never felt that.

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Speaker 4: They kind of treated me like I was a bird

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Speaker 4: to be around in my own house. And that's why

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Speaker 4: I never come out of my room when I am home. Now,

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Speaker 4: am I the a hole for punting them out? Gonna

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Speaker 4: hit you with being Nope, no big nope, nope and

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Speaker 4: good job.

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Speaker 2: I hope that you find much more peace.

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Speaker 5: My in laws are being shady with the house they're

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Speaker 5: renting us.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's time to come into the light.

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Speaker 5: So back in October of last year, we started renting

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Speaker 5: a mobile home from my husband's grandmother and her son

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Speaker 5: uncle in law manages.

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Speaker 3: The property because she lives far away and is old.

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Speaker 5: Around late January, we were told rent would increase by

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Speaker 5: four hundred due to gmail not being able to get

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Speaker 5: a renter in her other property, and my husband said

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Speaker 5: he could. They agreed to split it and he had

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Speaker 5: to pay two hundred on top of the agreed amount.

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Speaker 5: Our lease says nothing about length of time, so it's

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Speaker 5: not illegal, just unfortunate. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 5: Decent Sky, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,319
Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. After that,

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Speaker 5: we decided we wanted to see about buying our own

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Speaker 5: house since we have kids and we want something permanent.

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Speaker 3: Shortly after this, we were.

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Speaker 5: Told that there was a person coming by to take pictures, but.

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Speaker 3: That they were for a dealer who buys property.

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Speaker 5: Suddenly I found full pictures of our house with all

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Speaker 5: our belongings on homes realtor Zillow, et cetera. I called

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Speaker 5: her after this and stated I didn't feel comfortable and

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Speaker 5: that the pictures being put online were not part of

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Speaker 5: what we were told. She said it was implied when

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Speaker 5: she stated she was listing it. I voiced my concerns

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Speaker 5: and cleared up the misunderstanding that just because we're looking

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Speaker 5: at houses, we aren't approved by a lender yet and

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Speaker 5: it will take time. She stated to husband and I

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Speaker 5: separately in two different phone calls, that she would take

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Speaker 5: it off the market to make it easier since it

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Speaker 5: wasn't supposed to be listed online anyway, something to do

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Speaker 5: with it being on mobile home park Land and not

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Speaker 5: its own land. Two weeks later, the day after both

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Speaker 5: my husband and I just got out of the hospital

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Speaker 5: with neurovirus, we were given four hour notice that there

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Speaker 5: would be a showing. I tried to say no, but

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Speaker 5: apparently there was absolutely no way to cancel and uncle

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Speaker 5: in law was just doing his job. So I scrubbed

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Speaker 5: the whole house so no one would get sick, as

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Speaker 5: I had a fever and we have a one year old.

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Speaker 5: Not sure where to put this in the timeline, but

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Speaker 5: the day before, which is the day that I got

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Speaker 5: home from the hospital, as well as our daughter's first birthday.

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Speaker 5: G MIL complained about us getting a hamster, stated the

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Speaker 5: lease aid no pets, and was generally upset. Husband took

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Speaker 5: a picture of the text where her and I spoke

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Speaker 5: about getting something other than a fish because the kids

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Speaker 5: were asking for such, and she said her issue was

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Speaker 5: with cats and dogs and said what the cat is

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Speaker 5: fine as long as it didn't cause damage. Her husband

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Speaker 5: pointed out that they had also agreed on two hundred

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Speaker 5: less than the rent he was paying currently. She backed

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Speaker 5: down after that and lowered the rent back down, but

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Speaker 5: never asked about the hamster after that. After one showing,

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Speaker 5: we were irked, but didn't say anything. A week after that,

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Speaker 5: showing two was scheduled with seven hour notice. I texted

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Speaker 5: Gmail and asked why she told us she was taking

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00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,719
Speaker 5: it off the market if she didn't intend to, As

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Speaker 5: well as stating that the lack of communication was not okay.

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Speaker 5: She started off with, excuse me, but I have a

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Speaker 5: sister in the hospital in a life threatening situation. Not

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00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,839
Speaker 5: to take away from it, but her sister and her

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Speaker 5: aren't close and the situation was a leg imputation caused

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Speaker 5: by refusing to monitor diabetes, which is awful.

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Speaker 3: But not an excuse to lie.

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Speaker 5: I said I was sorry about her sister, but that

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Speaker 5: this is an issue that needs to be addressed, and

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Speaker 5: that lying and giving us extremely short notice wasn't acceptable.

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Speaker 5: I'm assuming she called uncle in law after this, because

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Speaker 5: she didn't respond, but he called my husband stating that

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Speaker 5: her sister was sick and that we needed to talk

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00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:06,079
Speaker 5: to him going forward. Shortly after the showing was canceled.

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Speaker 5: The very next day, two days ago as of me

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Speaker 5: writing this, we got a letter stating there was a

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00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,040
Speaker 5: buyer and that we had until May fourteenth to be out,

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00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,080
Speaker 5: as well as a list of all that needed to

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Speaker 5: be done before moving out, cleaning, patching holes left by shelves,

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00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,320
Speaker 5: et cetera. Apparently, even though there is a buyer, they're

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Speaker 5: showing it again tomorrow. Thankfully, we were given significantly.

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Speaker 3: More notice this time.

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Speaker 5: I tried all day today to figure out what was

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Speaker 5: going on, but uncle in law kept stating it wasn't

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Speaker 5: our business to know what was.

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Speaker 3: Going on with the trailer when we weren't asking for that.

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Speaker 5: I stated why they were lying and going behind our backs,

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Speaker 5: and he kept saying the same exact thing.

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Speaker 3: I didn't lie to you. I don't know what my

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00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,760
Speaker 3: mother said, so I can't answer.

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Speaker 5: I'm not giving you buyer information, which again was never

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00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,040
Speaker 5: remotely asked for. My husband asked why there was another

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00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,920
Speaker 5: showing if it was under contract, which is pretty simple

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Speaker 5: to answer because it's mainly we want to back up

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Speaker 5: if the first buyer falls through. He stated he wanted

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Speaker 5: to call, which I read because I wanted everything to

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00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 5: be clear and easily available to refer back to.

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Speaker 3: This is the.

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Speaker 5: Abbreviated version of After that, Uncle and law says, I'm

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00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 5: only answering questions. There's nothing to refer back to me.

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00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,680
Speaker 5: I have already been lied to over the phone and

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Speaker 5: would like everything in writing. Uncle in law, well, I'm

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00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,560
Speaker 5: not texting anymore me. Okay, that's fine. You're not going

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00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,320
Speaker 5: to be open with me, so there's no point in

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00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,080
Speaker 5: asking anymore. I'll stop asking, Uncle in law, I am open.

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00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 5: Stop hiding behind your walls and phone and talk to

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Speaker 5: me face to face, direct quote.

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Speaker 4: Stop hiding behind those walls that you live in that

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00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,760
Speaker 4: I'm trying to sell out from under you me.

339
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 5: I have a baby. I'm not going over there to

340
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,600
Speaker 5: argue and bicker. I will stop the conversation since it's

341
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 5: going nowhere. I texted uncle in law's wife and asked

342
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 5: her if she knew why they were acting like this.

343
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 5: She had no idea and she had been really busy

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00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 5: with work and appointments. I apologized for being out of

345
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,480
Speaker 5: the blue, and I said I was sorry for not

346
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 5: talking to her more recently, but that I was really

347
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 5: upset at their grandmother in law's and uncle in law's

348
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,720
Speaker 5: bus I sent the screenshot of the above conversation minus

349
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,120
Speaker 5: my last reply because I hadn't made it yet, and

350
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 5: said this crap is scary. Uncle in law wrote a

351
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,680
Speaker 5: long paragraph three hours later about how Tea his wife

352
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 5: mentioned above, wasn't involved and doesn't know anything about the house,

353
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,360
Speaker 5: never asked her about it, which I agree, like don't

354
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,240
Speaker 5: bring Tea into.

355
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 4: Days, not about the house. This is like, why are

356
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,280
Speaker 4: these people doing this to us?

357
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,080
Speaker 2: Why is the.

358
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,680
Speaker 4: Uncle in law and GMAIL doing this to us? That's

359
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 4: all Opie wants to know.

360
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 5: How he's not obligated to share business about the house

361
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,560
Speaker 5: and listed a bunch of questions that were never even

362
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,800
Speaker 5: hinted at, like the price of the house and moving it.

363
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 5: He stated he's not sure how he's scary and going

364
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,840
Speaker 5: forward that I can no longer talk to Tea. My

365
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 5: response was short and included I can talk to anyone

366
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 5: I please. These questions were never asked and you know that,

367
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 5: and that if he no longer wishes to text, he

368
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 5: can email us and provided the emails of me and

369
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 5: my husband. Husband is just as confused as I am

370
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 5: and things. It's retaliation for us saying we were looking

371
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,280
Speaker 5: for a house after rent was righted. This isn't normal

372
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 5: behavior from them, but we have never been in a

373
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 5: business relationship with either of them. The only complaint made

374
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 5: to us about anything was the hamster, which she stated

375
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 5: that it was okay and said, I guess the kids

376
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 5: would like something they could pet and go with what

377
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,640
Speaker 5: the kids would like. This was in text. No complaints

378
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,720
Speaker 5: made about the cleanliness either. Actually, the opposite husband has

379
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 5: paid rent on time and the full amount that was asked,

380
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 5: even after it was raised. We have three kids, so yeah,

381
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,680
Speaker 5: it gets messy and loud, but no damage other than

382
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 5: some drywall holes in one bathroom and the laundry room

383
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,160
Speaker 5: where a shelf fell. I'm bad at putting them up,

384
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 5: So about a ten dollars patch in paint to fix,

385
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 5: which we already stated we'd do, and there was still

386
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 5: nothing said about it being an issue. We're both just

387
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,720
Speaker 5: extremely confused. They won't say anything about it, no matter

388
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 5: what uncle in law stated, no one is acting any

389
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,080
Speaker 5: certain way.

390
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 3: I'm at a loss.

391
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 5: Husband and I don't care much about the house, as

392
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 5: we already planned on moving early with everything else they

393
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,400
Speaker 5: had done up to this point, but the lying, hiding,

394
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 5: and denial is upsetting, to say the least. The wrong

395
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,200
Speaker 5: here is this all normal? And I'm just sensitive to it.

396
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 5: I've dealt with landlords, but not for a single rental house.

397
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,159
Speaker 3: Like this where it could be sold.

398
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 5: I asked for communication and am left with significantly more

399
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,160
Speaker 5: questions than answers. I don't want to call because it's

400
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,360
Speaker 5: easier to manipulate and cut people off, especially when tension

401
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 5: is high, so I know it wouldn't it be a

402
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,879
Speaker 5: good idea. I cry super easily, so talking face to

403
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,360
Speaker 5: face also is an ideal, and I took his statement

404
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,280
Speaker 5: as highly aggressive and I don't.

405
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 3: Tolerate it well at all.

406
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,880
Speaker 5: This is okay, this is back to my thing, though

407
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,600
Speaker 5: I also cry very easily in conversations that are tense,

408
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,199
Speaker 5: like that, but sometimes you have to just have that

409
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 5: conversation in person because one it might not be as

410
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,639
Speaker 5: tense as you think because tone can be taken wrong.

411
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,360
Speaker 5: In texts, you'll get all your answers, questions a little.

412
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,359
Speaker 3: You're gonna cry, it's gonna really suck. But it's a

413
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,240
Speaker 3: conversation that you have to have and it's.

414
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 2: Gonna really suck.

415
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,119
Speaker 5: But record it if you want to be able to

416
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,400
Speaker 5: play back to it. Go in with a list if

417
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 5: you like, get really overwhelmed with that. Like sometimes I'll

418
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 5: write things down that.

419
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 3: I need to say.

420
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,720
Speaker 5: But I think clearly communication via text is not working

421
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 5: for you, and you refuse to call, well.

422
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 2: No, you gotta think one of them.

423
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,719
Speaker 5: I think this is the thing because he's likeall and

424
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 5: she's like text, just go.

425
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,640
Speaker 4: Just just because you're gonna cry, and like it's gonna

426
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 4: be hard and you don't like conversation, doesn't mean you

427
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 4: shouldn't do confrontation. Yeah, I think this situation, if you

428
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 4: know the people that you need to sort of weigh

429
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 4: against are gonna straight up put hanging fifty on you

430
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,160
Speaker 4: and slam dunk all over you the whole conversation, maybe

431
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,199
Speaker 4: you should just formulate a text.

432
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 5: I want to communicate and I don't think asking for

433
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 5: it and writing is so difficult.

434
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 3: Am I overthinking this? And we have an update.

435
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,640
Speaker 5: Uncle in law was showing the house today, and by showing,

436
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 5: he apparently meant coming in with tea and taking pictures.

437
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 5: I'm not sure who to trust, and I'm trying to

438
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 5: figure out how to deny entry until the move out date.

439
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 3: We have another update.

440
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 5: I have them on my security camera with no other

441
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 5: people showing, complaining about our led striplights.

442
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 3: Renter friendly and uncle in law was.

443
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,120
Speaker 5: Taking pictures all over like inside the oven, laundry room,

444
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 5: et cetera. Has been called it out and got no response,

445
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 5: so we both agree he knows he's in the wrong.

446
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 5: Even worse is the fact that there was nothing to

447
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 5: lie about. He's allowed to ask for an inspection and

448
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 5: take pictures for record keeping, and yet decided to lie.

449
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 5: We're trying to get out asap. Thank you guys for

450
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 5: reassuring me that this isn't something normal and isn't okay.

451
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story.

452
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. It wasn't even like a should

453
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 2: I move.

454
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 4: It's like the whole time they're planning on moving They're

455
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 4: just like, is this normal?

456
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,520
Speaker 5: The whole time they're planning on moving, and they were like,

457
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 5: I'm just mad that I'm not getting answers.

458
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 4: Okay, move is the way my grandma in law and

459
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 4: uncle in law are moving normal?

460
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 3: Yes, they just move.

461
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 4: They're literally moving around like an interpretive art piece. That

462
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 4: is a abnormal, abnormal movement. Wow, that's the end.

463
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 2: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

464
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:47,959
Speaker 2: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

465
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 2: minute break from as for more sponsors.

466
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 7: See, my fiance is ashamed of my sister, so I'm

467
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 7: reconsidering marrying him.

468
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 3: If you don't like my sister, you're out.

469
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 7: I would like to know if I'm being over dramatic

470
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 7: or overreacting.

471
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 6: I'm twenty nine years old. My fiance is also twenty nine.

472
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 7: We've known each other since twenty fifteen because he attends

473
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 7: the same religious church as me. We started dating in

474
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 7: twenty twenty two as he and he proposed to me

475
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,880
Speaker 7: in February of this year. We have plans to get

476
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 7: married in October. He's an only child and I have

477
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 7: one little sister who has some special needs. With me

478
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 7: being an only sibling to my little sister, who is nineteen.

479
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Mermaid for Live ninety

480
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 7: six and if you want to submit your own stories,

481
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 7: go to the r slash Okay storytime sepreddit. So if

482
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 7: something were to happen to my parents and when they

483
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 7: can no longer care for her, she'll be living with me.

484
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 7: She's not severely disabled. She has down syndrome and a

485
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,159
Speaker 7: low IQ. She's very independent though she can walk, talk, eat, shop,

486
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 7: do a lot of skills on her own with minimal assistance.

487
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 7: She's just very vulnerable and isn't aware of safety. My

488
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 7: fiance is fully aware of the circumstances regarding our future

489
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 7: and has accepted her living with us. It becomes a

490
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 7: topic a lot since we're also considering having our own kids.

491
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 7: So not all of the time, but sometimes when my

492
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 7: fiance and I go out, I include my sister. I

493
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 7: do respite for my sister, and I get paid to

494
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 7: do respite for her. Again, my fiance has always been

495
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 7: acceptable with me including her when we hang out. We

496
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 7: went out yesterday and I included my sister. My whole

497
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 7: night felt ruined though because of him. We went out

498
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 7: to eat and my sister was trying to order, but

499
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 7: he kept rushing her when she was stuttering a bit.

500
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 7: I didn't make a scene and kept silent due to

501
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 7: not wanting to make a scene.

502
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 3: We went to the mall.

503
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 7: Next to go a shop in my sister's and i's

504
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 7: favorite store. My fiance stayed out of the store, which

505
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 7: was fine because this store is aimed towards women. When

506
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 7: we got done with shopping, my little sister was showing

507
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 7: him what she got and he didn't say anything and

508
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 7: didn't even show any interest. I confronted him a bit,

509
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 7: and he made a rude remark, saying, God forbid me

510
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 7: not caring about your sister's fragrances. Our last stop was Target,

511
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 7: and I had to get some things and I had

512
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,199
Speaker 7: my sister help with scanning things. He seemed annoyed and

513
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 7: told me that she needs to speed things up because.

514
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 3: This is awkward. What did you rushing off to? Yeah?

515
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 7: What what do you have to do with all these

516
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 7: a few seconds?

517
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 3: Yeah? Mind you.

518
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 7: There wasn't even a line and multiple self checkouts were open.

519
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 7: When he drops me off at home yesterday, I didn't

520
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 7: even say anything. As much as I want us to

521
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 7: grow together, I can't be with someone who belittles my sister.

522
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 7: Do I have a right to be upset? And there

523
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 7: are some comments, but what are your comments? Sofia absolutely totally.

524
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 8: Like this is you have already said that in the

525
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 8: case that something happens, in the event that something happens

526
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 8: to your parents, you are going to be taking care

527
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 8: of your sister. So this isn't just like, oh, yeah,

528
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 8: she's my sister, you have to be around her on holidays.

529
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 8: This is someone you might you know, be taking care

530
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 8: of yeah, forever exactly.

531
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,639
Speaker 6: And like, if you guys are talking about having kids.

532
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 8: There is a high likelihood that one of your kids

533
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 8: might have DOWNSI.

534
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 7: Yeah, and just in general needs so much patience also,

535
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 7: and he is clearly not having any patience. No, is

536
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 7: it going to be embarrassing for your kids to like,

537
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 7: I don't know, not know how to walk? Yeah, but

538
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 7: everyone else will undertand because they're freaking kids.

539
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 8: She's just like the two year old doesn't know how

540
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 8: to talk, right, so embarrassed figure it out?

541
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 6: Gosh. But there are some comments.

542
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 7: A budget discussion five six eight says I'm confused about

543
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 7: what was awkward to target her in general her speed

544
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 7: while checking items or a lack thereof. Either way, I'd

545
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 7: be offended and feel protective of her because I can't

546
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 7: see his perspective about either being valid. I'm so sorry

547
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 7: he was mean to you and towards her. The term

548
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,239
Speaker 7: red flag exists for this reason. Continue the engagement, but

549
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 7: be very aware of what and how he says things.

550
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 7: If you continue to see red flags, make the hard

551
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 7: choice sooner than later. Opie says, I was having her

552
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 7: scan items because it's a goal that she works on

553
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 7: since she gets state services for her intellectual disability. I

554
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 7: had a full card and it was taking a little

555
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 7: longer than usual to finish because she would accidentally scan

556
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 7: something twice, so the staff was kind of hanging close

557
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 7: around us in case we needed assistance. I think he

558
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 7: low key feels embarrassed just by her presence and feels

559
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 7: like we're being stared at. Bright Bag two nine three says,

560
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 7: you obviously don't have to if you don't want, but

561
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 7: I'm very curious to know what this loser of a

562
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 7: man looks like. A lot of losers who talk crap

563
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 7: are insecure and below average looking. Opie says, it'll be

564
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 7: breaking the rules by post him, but I don't mind

565
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 7: sending you.

566
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 6: A picture of him through pm on here.

567
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,479
Speaker 3: Confusable fraggle, says Opie.

568
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 7: I think things are a bit more worrisome than you

569
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 7: are letting yourself believe. He is treating your sister as

570
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 7: a nuisance. He is not low key embarrassed. He is

571
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 7: outright ashamed to be seen in public with your sister.

572
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 7: His behavior is rude and belittling and dismissive. I currently

573
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 7: work in retail and have to oversee the self check

574
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 7: machines often if he is getting upset because a person

575
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 7: learning to use the machine is slower than a person

576
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 7: who already knows he lacks both patience and empathy. I've

577
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 7: watched many people come through those machines. Many times we

578
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 7: have to fix an accidentally doubled item, or a barcode that.

579
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 3: Rings in wrong, or what have you.

580
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 7: The way people react in those situations is very telling.

581
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 7: It's a tiny little stress moment in their day, but

582
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 7: it shows their character. Your fiance is currently showing very

583
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 7: poor character. If he has this poor of an attitude

584
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 7: about a small oops like these, he will have a

585
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 7: much worse attitude about bigger problems. Of course, there are

586
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 7: always folks who were already having a bad day and

587
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 7: thus react out of proportion. But all you did was

588
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 7: take your sister for an outing together. That shouldn't be

589
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 7: a bad day for a decent human. This requires a

590
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 7: very in depth conversation, the very least you need to

591
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 7: get to the bottom of what he actually thinks and

592
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 7: believes about you, your sister, and your family. His mother's

593
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 7: comment about the gene pool shows that he has been

594
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 7: taught from the cradle to devalue anyone with a handicap

595
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,399
Speaker 7: of any cut. I don't think we got that comment

596
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 7: in there, ah, but I'm very curious about what that

597
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 7: is and that where was that?

598
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, the gene pool, that sounds bad.

599
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 3: That definitely does.

600
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 8: I feel like the mom was probably making a comment

601
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 8: about them ivan kids.

602
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 3: Then yeah, probably.

603
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 7: I apologize for not having a better word than handicapped

604
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 7: to describe the mindset problem. If he is actively working

605
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 7: to undo that conditioning, that is good, but he obviously

606
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 7: has a very long way to go. If he is

607
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 7: trying to just get by into the wedding, his mask

608
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 7: is slipping badly. Either way, your sister does not deserve

609
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 7: to be treated as his social dues for being a

610
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 7: good guy. She is a human with her own dignity

611
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 7: and deserves to be treated as such. I hope you

612
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 7: can get to the bottom of this quickly. Op, you

613
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 7: are not overreacting at all. I'm afraid you are likely

614
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,479
Speaker 7: underreacting to the problem in front of you. Best of Logop,

615
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 7: may you find a nice shiny spine and use it

616
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 7: for and use it well for your own benefit and

617
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 7: then for others Hugs if you want them, and then

618
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 7: Alison C. Miller says, I can empathize with both of

619
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 7: you here. I had a niece with special needs and

620
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 7: it can be a lot, so I can't blame anyone

621
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 7: for not being ready to have that in their life.

622
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 7: But it's important for him to respectfully say I'm sorry,

623
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 7: I'm not ready for that, instead of flying to you

624
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 7: to keep his romantic access. To put it overly politely,

625
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 7: this is a huge red flag. Try to work it

626
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 7: out with him if you want, but for the sake

627
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 7: of the kids it don't have this man's kids. Being

628
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 7: a parent requires way more patient than he's shown he's

629
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 7: capable of. And you just know if one of them

630
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 7: is disabled, he'll blame you and your family's genes.

631
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 3: Yikes.

632
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's true. Yeah, true, absolutely.

633
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 3: Helicopter No.

634
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 7: Forty one sixty six says it nor One thing to

635
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 7: keep in mind, aside from how he treats her sister,

636
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 7: is that in marriage, there will be times when you

637
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 7: will need him to be your caregiver. It could be

638
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 7: after the birth of a child that took an unexpected turn,

639
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 7: surgery where you can't even bathe without assistance. If he

640
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 7: treats her sister the way he does, ask yourself if

641
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 7: he would treat you the same way when he is

642
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 7: supposed to care for you, I would have an honest

643
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 7: conversation with him about your expectations in this marriage and

644
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 7: as if this is something he is capable of hope.

645
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 7: He responds, his mother actually asked my parents about our

646
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 7: gene pool when we went out with his parents one time.

647
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 7: I think this is our information, ros yike gross but

648
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 7: said afterwards she would love her grandchild regardless.

649
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 3: Sorry she brought up.

650
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 6: What's the gene pool?

651
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 3: And then says, oh, but about allah, I mean, whatever

652
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 3: it is, I'll love my grandchild.

653
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 6: Why did you say it like that?

654
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 7: Like, why even bring it up? But I would bring

655
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 7: it up, So I just let that one go. So overall,

656
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 7: judgment is gnaw the ale, and there is an update from

657
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 7: only five days later. Huh oh, do you have any

658
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 7: comments before we move on?

659
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 8: Well, I think that you should have a very frank

660
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 8: conversation with your partner and say, one, my sister's not

661
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 8: going anywhere, so you need to learn how to treat

662
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 8: her properly and kindly and respectfully, right, because.

663
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: She's still she's still an adult, and she just.

664
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 8: Still deserves respect. Yeah, and kindness. Well, I think she's

665
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 8: she's nineteen to nineteen. Okay, so she's nineteen, she's still

666
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 8: an adult. Treaty respectfully. Yeah, she's not going anywhere. And

667
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 8: and then again, secondly, are you going to be like

668
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 8: you know that this runs in my family. There is

669
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 8: a possibility that my child or child might be born

670
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 8: with a disability.

671
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 3: So are you up for that?

672
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 6: Because if you're not, then let's cut it off here.

673
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 8: If you are not one hundred percent ready for your

674
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 8: child to be born with something like a mental disability

675
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 8: of physical disability, then you're not ready to be.

676
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 3: A parent with me exactly. There is an update.

677
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 7: So after posting about it, reading most of the comments,

678
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 7: and doing some deep thinking, I've.

679
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 6: Decided to cut ties with him last Sunday, whoa, Whoa.

680
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 7: It was one of the most hardest things that I've

681
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 7: had to do because we've had our future planned out

682
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 7: and he was my first relationship.

683
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 3: Oh wow.

684
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 7: Family will always come first with me, and I'm not

685
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 7: going to be with someone who is an ableist, especially

686
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 7: when him and I can end up with a disabled

687
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 7: child someday, because muscular dystropee does run my family. As

688
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 7: far as my future, I'm a pediatric registered nurse, so

689
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 7: I'm going to keep focusing on my career. I have

690
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 7: a savings account set up, so I'm planning on applying

691
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 7: for an apartment very soon. I'm also going on a

692
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 7: Behemian cruise in October that was supposed to be our honeymoon,

693
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 7: but I'll be going with my best friend instead, so

694
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 7: I'm ecstatic for that. I'm going to keep living my

695
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 7: life as best I can and not dwell over a

696
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 7: relationship that obviously wasn't meant to be. For the few

697
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 7: people who made comments such as I'm just going to

698
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 7: end up single because no one wants the package that

699
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 7: I come with.

700
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 3: That's terrible.

701
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 7: Just know that I see the ableism in you, and

702
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 7: you might want to humble yourselves, because anyone can become

703
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 7: disabled respectfully.

704
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 3: But do you have any final thoughts.

705
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 8: I feel like that it does feel maybe just in

706
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 8: the way that's been written, it does feel very like quick.

707
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 6: But I do think it is the right decision.

708
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 3: In the long term.

709
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, it doesn't seem like he he's up for this

710
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 8: kind of lifetime. Doesn't seem like he wants her sister around.

711
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 8: I fear that he might like isolate her further from

712
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 8: her sister in the long run.

713
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

714
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 3: But we do have a little bit more to the story.

715
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 7: So for some comments, startust stuffing says, good for you.

716
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 7: My daughter is autistic and requires a lot of patience

717
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 7: and understanding. I'd lose my mind if someone I knew

718
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 7: treated her badly because of her extra needs. So how

719
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 7: did he take it? I'm really curious to know and

720
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 7: hope he response. It went pretty sour, but I expected

721
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 7: it because he has a pretty short temper. Another red flag.

722
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 6: Yeah that's not good.

723
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 7: Yeah, which is crazy to admit because we are both

724
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 7: part of the LDS church.

725
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 3: But a little context.

726
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 7: So before officially breaking up on Saturday, we went out

727
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 7: because I really wanted to get down to the root

728
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 7: of the problem on why he was so disgusted by

729
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 7: my sister. He started gaslighting me and making me feel

730
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 7: like it was meat issue. That's when I knew that

731
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 7: it wasn't going to work. And on Sunday I had

732
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 7: him come over to my house and I told him

733
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 7: that we're done. He started crying and apologizing, and he

734
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 7: turned into a hothead and demanded the ring back and

735
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 7: everything that I owned that he bought for me. Crazy right,

736
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 7: mind you. It has happened at my parents' house where

737
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 7: I'm currently living. They were already aware of his behavior,

738
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 7: and when he demanded everything back and refused to leave

739
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 7: my bedroom, I just texted my mom for help because

740
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 7: it was the first time that he showed genuine rage

741
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 7: at me and I didn't want to get physically hurt.

742
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 7: My dad, who was a retired cop, came up and

743
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 7: told him to leave. Yeah, when your safety comes into play,

744
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 7: this is not someone that you should be with.

745
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: Oh no, box.

746
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 7: Finn says it. Well, to be fair, if he proposed

747
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 7: to you, you should give him back his ring. Hope,

748
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 7: he says, the ring I absolutely did give back, but

749
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 7: clothes that I own and I've worn multiple times, car keys,

750
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 7: that he had insisted to replace when I lost mine

751
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 7: in the past, and other petty things like that, I

752
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 7: refuse to just give back, okay. Research fifty six eighty

753
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 7: six says, totally fair. Returning the ring shows respect, but

754
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 7: keeping personal items you've used and we're gifted makes sense.

755
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 7: Not everything needs to be handed back out of spite.

756
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 7: And that is the end of that story.

757
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 3: I think you made the absolutely right choice.

758
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 8: Absolutely so obviously the right choice.

759
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

760
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 7: Wow, even just having a quick temper, I'm like, no,

761
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 7: that's a that's a big red flag, uh for su Yikes.

762
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely made the right decision.

763
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 7: She'll be fine. She'll have so much fun on that cruise. Yeah,

764
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 7: it's gonna be great. It's gonna be a good cruise.

765
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 7: My family abandoned the affair. Baby, Well that's a bad look.

766
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 3: What Hi?

767
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 7: I'm at twenty three mail and this week my entire

768
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 7: life changed.

769
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 6: Three days ago, my grandfather passed away.

770
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 7: He was seventy eight. He had two kids, my mom

771
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 7: and my uncle. I'm the youngest in our family, or

772
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 7: at least I thought I was. By the way, this

773
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 7: comes from a Safe a Gazelle fifty two to seventy

774
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 7: four and If do you want to submit your own stories,

775
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 7: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So during

776
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 7: the wake, a huge bomb dropped on all of us.

777
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 7: It turns out my grandfather had a four year old

778
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 7: daughter with a cleaning lady who used to help him

779
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 7: around the house. The woman is gone and no one

780
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 7: knows where she went. The girl's name is Lenka, and

781
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 7: she's tiny, quiet and completely alone, and everyone in my

782
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 7: family hates her. Oh no, not Lenkaw the funeral, nobody

783
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 7: would even look at her.

784
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 6: I saw her curled up in the corner of the

785
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 6: room like she was trying to disappear, and the.

786
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 7: Only conversation anyone had was who's not going to take her?

787
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 7: They all agreed that she should be sent to an orphanage.

788
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 7: I don't know what happened to me at that moment,

789
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 7: but I snapped. I walked over to her, knelt down, smiled,

790
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 7: and asked, would you like to live with me?

791
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 6: She didn't say anything, just slowly nodded, and that was it.

792
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 6: That night, Lanka came home with me.

793
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 7: She had been staying with my cousin for a few days,

794
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 7: and Nica handed me her health card and basically said

795
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 7: good luck. I'm a twenty three year old guy living

796
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 7: alone in a small apartment in eastern Slovakia. I work

797
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,479
Speaker 7: from home, I pay rent. I'm not rich. I've never

798
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 7: raised a child. I'm still an external university student. I

799
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 7: go to school on weekends. But she came with me

800
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 7: and she's been here since that night. She didn't say

801
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 7: a word on the car ride. I showed her my apartment,

802
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 7: gave her food. She barely reacted. Later that night, while

803
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 7: I was trying to sleep, I broke. It was two am,

804
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 7: and I was crying, like I haven't cried in years.

805
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 7: I kept thinking, what the heck am I doing? How

806
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,240
Speaker 7: can I raise a child when I'm just a kid myself.

807
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 7: My family won't help, Everyone will judge me. She's not

808
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 7: even technically my niece. She's my aunt, yeah that part's

809
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 7: while she's my mom's half sister, which makes her my aunt.

810
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:33,959
Speaker 3: But she's four.

811
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 7: I couldn't sleep at all that night. Around three am,

812
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 7: we had a little accident. She went the bed, didn't cry,

813
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,479
Speaker 7: She just tried to hide the blanket like she didn't

814
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 7: want me to find out. My heart cracked in half.

815
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 7: I told her everything's okay and helped her clean up.

816
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 7: In the morning, I explained that we needed to go

817
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 7: shopping for her things. We walked to the store, only

818
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 7: five minutes away, but it took us fifteen. She was

819
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 7: trying to be independent and didn't want to hold my hand,

820
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 7: but on the way back she was so tired she

821
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 7: almost collapsed on the sidewalk.

822
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 3: I asked if I could carry her.

823
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 7: She said no at first, but after a few more

824
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 7: steps I picked her up anyway.

825
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 6: She looked annoyed but didn't resist. We made it home.

826
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 7: I made her breakfast, thank you to the friend who

827
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 7: gave me ideas, then told her we had to go

828
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 7: to some offices so I could become her guardian. I

829
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 7: thought I'd just drop off the papers and said the

830
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 7: whole process started immediately.

831
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 3: It was chaos.

832
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 7: I brought every document I had, my ID, death certificate,

833
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 7: her health card, a letter I wrote asking for emergency

834
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 7: temporary custody.

835
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: But when I got to the child.

836
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 6: Services office, one woman tore me apart.

837
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 7: She was cold and cruel and basically called me a

838
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 7: stupid boy to my face.

839
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 2: You're just a kid.

840
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 6: You can't raise another kid. You don't even have rights

841
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 6: to her.

842
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 7: She's better off with her mother, and she said all

843
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 7: this in front of Lenka, who was sitting quietly in

844
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 7: my lap. I looked down and saw tears running down

845
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 7: her face. At first I didn't even notice, just felt

846
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 7: her little body trembling. Oh my god, she was crying silently.

847
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 7: I gently apologized to the woman, stood up and said

848
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,479
Speaker 7: we'd come back later. I took Lenka outside and walked

849
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 7: her to a little ice cream shop nearby, who sat

850
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 7: together in silence. I explained that we'd have to go

851
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,080
Speaker 7: back and talk to the mean lady, but I've I

852
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 7: promised that I would stay with her the whole time.

853
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 3: She nodded back inside.

854
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 7: The woman didn't get any nicer, but she did explain

855
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 7: what would happen next, basically exactly what I had read online.

856
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 7: Social workers will visit us, they'll try to contact her mother.

857
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 7: If they find her, she make it legal priority. But

858
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 7: I'm going to fight this because if that woman abandoned

859
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 7: Lenka once, she'll do it again, and I won't let

860
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 7: that happen. Now it's late again, I'm completely drained, and

861
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 7: I need to say this somewhere.

862
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: I love this kid.

863
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 6: I've known her for three days, and I would do

864
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 6: anything to protect her.

865
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 7: But I'm falling apart inside. I work from home, which

866
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 7: is the only reason this is even possible, But on

867
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 7: weekends I go to university and I'll probably have to

868
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 7: give that up. There's no babysitting culture here in Slovakia,

869
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 7: especially not in a small town like ours. I'm selling

870
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 7: my motorcycle so we'll have more money for her. I'm

871
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 7: terrified I'll never have a girlfriend, because what twenty three

872
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 7: year old wants a boyfriend with a four year old.

873
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 3: I feel like I traded everything I used.

874
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 7: To be for someone who deserves a better life, and

875
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 7: I don't regret it. But I'm scared and tired and

876
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 7: trying not to break. I don't even know why I'm

877
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 7: posting this. I just needed to let it out. If

878
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 7: you read all this, thank you really, and if anyone's

879
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 7: been through something so I'm Laura. Any advice would mean

880
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 7: the world. And there are some comments, but do you

881
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 7: have any before you move on to those, have you

882
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 7: been in the summer situation?

883
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 3: Yeah?

884
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: You know, this is totally right in my wheelhouse.

885
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know Grandpa's They got a lot of time

886
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 3: on there is.

887
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,919
Speaker 4: I don't know anything about what the Slovakian government would

888
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 4: provide for you. It seems like their system kind of

889
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 4: is based on arbitrary. It's her mom, so she'll get

890
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,879
Speaker 4: and she'll probably just abandon the kid again.

891
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't I don't have any advice because I

892
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 6: don't know.

893
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 4: Become some sort of you know, traveling band. You and Lenka.

894
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 4: You can be like, you know, the percussion, and then

895
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 4: she can be like on your shoulders playing like a

896
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 4: flute of some kind.

897
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 6: Maybe yeah, give her the complicated one.

898
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 4: Become Internet famous and then you know, now you're trillionaires.

899
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 7: Tina Marie ten eighteen says, I don't have any advice,

900
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 7: but as someone who grew up unwanted, I do want

901
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 7: to tell you thank you for taking her in and

902
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 7: wanting to fight for her.

903
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 3: It means so much more than you will ever know.

904
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 6: Opie says, thank you.

905
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 3: I needed this.

906
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 7: E v B six six six says that you are

907
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 7: a good person and I'm waiting for you.

908
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 3: Opie says thanks.

909
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 7: Any advice they say, firstly, document everything, don't let the

910
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:06,959
Speaker 7: horrible social worker get to you.

911
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 3: You're a hero to litle Lenka. Right now.

912
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 7: Seek out some parenting forums, single dad groups, or even

913
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 7: local churches and community centers that may have resources that

914
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 7: can offer support. Children thrive on predictabilities, so having some

915
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 7: semblance of a routine will help you both. Make sure

916
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 7: that that includes a little breathing space for yourself. Linka's

917
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 7: trauma won't vanish overnight, and patience is everything. You are

918
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 7: already taking small steps of trust. You don't have to

919
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 7: be perfect. Just keep showing up for her. You learn

920
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 7: as you go and are more than enough right now.

921
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 7: I'm sure your grandfather will be looking over you. Rainbow

922
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 7: Bright says, when someone says document everything, it does mean

923
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 7: as literal much as you can. In the beginning, take

924
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 7: a full body clothed picture of her every month to

925
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 7: get in a binder with a piece of paper where

926
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 7: you write out her height and wait write notes like

927
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 7: what she likes to eat and watch and play, and

928
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 7: what books you're reading to her. This serves two purposes.

929
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 7: You can prove that she's healthy, growing, and cared for.

930
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 7: You can also prove that you are caring for her

931
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 7: and I know things about her. It also gives you

932
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 7: a regular current photo in case Mom tries to show

933
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 7: up and yoink her.

934
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 6: It may sound tedious or annoying.

935
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 3: But it will be so worthwhile.

936
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 6: One day when she grows up and you can show

937
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 6: her what she was like as a little person.

938
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 7: Nanny sixty five says that you will never be sorry

939
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 7: that you stood up for her. I don't know anything

940
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 7: about what you need to do to get formal custody

941
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 7: of her, but I guess a lawyer would be useful.

942
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 7: Aside from custody, surely she would be entitled to your

943
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 7: grandfather's estate. Good luck to you, Opie. I'm sending the

944
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,240
Speaker 7: two of you hugs. Opie says it can't afford a lawyer,

945
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 7: but I will fight.

946
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 3: Thank you.

947
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 7: Quick Store says, I don't know laws in your country,

948
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 7: but your grandfather has an estate and she should be entitled.

949
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 6: To something as his child that will help offset raising her.

950
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 7: Not sure what death benefits look like for children with

951
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 7: deceased parents that still need support, look into those options

952
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 7: as well.

953
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 3: Opie says.

954
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,720
Speaker 7: The entire land and house were already decided and divided

955
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 7: between my mom and uncle about ten years ago.

956
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 3: That's what the will says.

957
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 7: If I wanted to fight this proposal, I would have

958
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 7: to hire a lawyer. At least Grandpa left me a

959
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 7: field and some plots of forest land. And there is

960
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 7: an update. Tanka is doing well. She finally started smiling.

961
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:04,760
Speaker 2: Hey, linca smile.

962
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 7: I introduced her to my neighbor, an older lady who

963
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 7: never had children. She looked after Linka while I went

964
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 7: to get her toys from her grandfather's house. She also

965
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 7: has a dog, and Linka just can't stop playing with it.

966
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 7: One night, Linka found me crying. She sleeps in my

967
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 7: bed and I've taken the couch. I guess she must

968
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 7: have heard me. She came to me and asked if

969
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 7: I was crying because of her. Of course I said no,

970
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 7: and when she hugged me, my heart shattered into a

971
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 7: million pieces. I will protect that child. She's mine, and

972
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 7: I'll do anything for her.

973
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 3: We have some comments.

974
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 7: Phililiana says, Opie, you are a wonderful person, and I'm

975
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 7: sure there will be lots of women.

976
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 3: Who would want a man with a heart like yours.

977
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 7: What you do for that kid is selfless and kind

978
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 7: and good, and she will be forever grateful for the

979
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 7: one person who stood by her when all the others failed.

980
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 7: I'm not sure whether it is affordable to get her

981
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 7: into therapy, but I strongly suggest it for the both

982
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 7: of you. I wish you all the best, Opie says, yes,

983
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 7: I'm planning to take her to a therapist in Slovakia.

984
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 7: If you pay for health and insurance, it's free. I'm

985
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,479
Speaker 7: paying for our health insurance and I also get paid

986
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 7: extra for various injuries and so on. Not trying to

987
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 7: make waves, says hi op some small advice. You're doing

988
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 7: amazing and I admire your humanity and resolve. Childcare is

989
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 7: tiring through in body and soul, and it would be

990
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 7: easy to slide into a world of putting Linka first

991
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 7: and only Lanka. This will bring you out. There will

992
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 7: be times where it's in her best interest to come

993
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 7: second and put yourself first. You're sleeping on the sofa,

994
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 7: you need to work out a way of getting a

995
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 7: proper sofa bed.

996
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,279
Speaker 3: It doesn't have.

997
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 7: To be new, and you can sometimes pick them up

998
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 7: for cheap or even free in local groups. You have

999
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 7: to make sure that you're sleeping well, because if you're not,

1000
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 7: then it will affect your mood, your health, and your

1001
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 7: parenting relationship with Linka.

1002
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 3: Socializing being a single parent.

1003
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 7: Will mean that you almost never go out and run

1004
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 7: the risk of getting cut off socially.

1005
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 3: Look at something like D and D, which can be played.

1006
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 7: Online through Discord, or Roll twenty, which will give you

1007
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 7: access to adult conversation. Take the opportunity if she's invited

1008
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 7: to a sleepover, to go out and see friends. Even

1009
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 7: if you think you could just sleep for a thousand years,

1010
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 7: your mental health is important. Opie says, thank you for

1011
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 7: the advice. My friend offered to sell me his son's bed,

1012
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 7: so I should be back in my own bed in

1013
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 7: a few days at least, I hope so. And oh god,

1014
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 7: I didn't even think about that. Since she has been

1015
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 7: with me, I haven't gone out with my friends even once.

1016
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 3: I really need to look into that. Thank you.

1017
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 7: And Aleanna oxen Free says, take her with you to

1018
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 7: meet your friends and hang out. As a single parent,

1019
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 7: I brought my kid everywhere and she was just my

1020
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 7: little sidekick, and I got socialized and she.

1021
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 3: Got to socialize, and it was helpful to both of

1022
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 3: our growth. Ope says, yes, I will probably do that.

1023
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 7: I belonged to a motorcycle club, or at least I

1024
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 7: used to, but I sold my motorcycle. But everyone in

1025
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 7: the club is incredibly kind. I'll take her bowling with us. Wow,

1026
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 7: that is the end of that story.

1027
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:50,839
Speaker 9: Wow, everyone would clap woo w Wes not abandoned an

1028
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 9: a fair baby. Let's go, Let's go his aunt.

1029
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,760
Speaker 3: He can't abandon his aunts.

1030
00:43:55,800 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 4: And now Lenka's going to be a professional bowler. Oh yeah,

1031
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 4: I just going bowling.

1032
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 3: She's going pro. That's how they're going to make the money.

1033
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 2: My father has a secret family that he hid from us.

1034
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: Seecret family. Seecret family.

1035
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,879
Speaker 4: The first ten years of my parents' marriage were pretty

1036
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 4: normal as far as I could see. In two thousand

1037
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 4: and five, my father tried to break up in a

1038
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 4: kind of midlife crisis. Once my mother guilt tripped him

1039
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 4: into staying, and he did under the agreement that he

1040
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 4: could go on so low holidays every once in a while.

1041
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user jib murcafee and

1042
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1043
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,919
Speaker 4: the our slash Okay storytime subrend it. So to sum

1044
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 4: up the following ten years, Dad worked over time a lot,

1045
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 4: and we had our problems with money regardless.

1046
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 2: What was weird and maybe obvious.

1047
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,879
Speaker 4: It was weird and maybe obvious, but I didn't really

1048
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 4: notice back then. Fast forward to September twenty fifteen, my

1049
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 4: father told me that he wanted to break up, but

1050
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 4: this time for real.

1051
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 2: He told me.

1052
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 4: A week before he told my mom. I was still

1053
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 4: living at home, and this week was a nightmare. A

1054
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 4: big part of me as a person consists of being

1055
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 4: absolutely open and honest about everything, especially to the people

1056
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 4: I trust. My mom always was a person I trusted

1057
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 4: and much like a last straw if something in my

1058
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 4: life really went down a rabbit hole, and this would

1059
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 4: have been a moment I really needed her, but my

1060
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 4: dad blocked that option for me, as he wanted to

1061
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 4: tell it to her himself. Every single time I saw

1062
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 4: my mom in this week, I felt incredibly bad for

1063
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: her that I knew and she didn't. A week later,

1064
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 4: he told her and she broke down. Dad was the

1065
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 4: love of her life and still is that is until today,

1066
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 4: and he broke her heart. She was very understanding and

1067
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 4: let him go, and they agreed about not divorcing for

1068
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 4: tax reason. They not only agreed on that, but also

1069
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 4: him still doing repairs on the house on a weekly

1070
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 4: basis and letting her live in the house without any

1071
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 4: cost while he moved out. Mom got in a fragile

1072
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 4: state of mind. Since then, two weeks post breakup, I

1073
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 4: nearly passed away all of a sudden, Mom's world broke

1074
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 4: down again. Thank god, I recovered, but it was a

1075
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 4: really slow the process and my mom was in permanent

1076
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 4: worry about me. In this time, my dad introduced me

1077
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 4: to his girlfriend, Sarah forty two females. He eve invited

1078
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 4: me into her apartment that he moved into with her,

1079
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 4: and she was wasted in the middle of the deck

1080
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 4: and smoked a lot, which was really a off putting

1081
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 4: thing for me. Trying to recover my lungs didn't make

1082
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 4: it better. November twenty fifteen, I nearly passed away to

1083
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,760
Speaker 4: the same thing for the second time, with doctors calling

1084
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 4: out my parents.

1085
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 2: Gosh, they said they should.

1086
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 4: Come to the hospital because we weren't sure if I

1087
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,240
Speaker 4: would survive the night. Mom got into a huge argument

1088
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 4: with my dad because he didn't come over. I never

1089
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 4: forgave him that he wasn't there, maybe not for my

1090
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 4: morphine pumped self, but at least for my mom having

1091
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 4: the worst night of her life. I began to recover

1092
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 4: slowly and my mom was in a superfragile state, crying

1093
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,399
Speaker 4: a lot and reaching out to me to talk about

1094
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 4: the breakup because she didn't want to tell her friends.

1095
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 4: I had enough to do with handling the breakup of

1096
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 4: my parents and my near death experiences, so I couldn't

1097
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 4: bear my mom's pain as well as badly as I

1098
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 4: wanted to help her. Dad saw the situation from the

1099
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 4: outside and offered me to move out and pay for

1100
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 4: my rent. I took the chance and moved closer to

1101
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 4: my university and loved the feeling of finally standing on

1102
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 4: my own two feet. My mom hates to be alone

1103
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 4: with all the memories in our family house, but with

1104
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 4: time passing by, I slowly have the feeling she's coped

1105
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 4: with it, as my dad and I visit her regularly.

1106
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 4: He broke up with his girlfriend, Sarah by that time

1107
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 4: because they got an argument about her being wasted and

1108
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 4: breaking his coffee machine. April twenty sixteen, my dad introduced

1109
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 4: me to his girlfriend of today, Rachel fifty six, female

1110
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 4: and her family. Her three kids are around my age,

1111
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 4: and I really like those people. I love to see

1112
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 4: my father happy with her. I know Mom doesn't know

1113
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 4: about her, but we didn't want to pull Mom out

1114
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 4: of her own world due to her fragile state, and

1115
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 4: I think it's better this way. Fast forward to last

1116
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 4: weekend and the huge plot twist. My boyfriend twenty four

1117
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 4: Mail and I were invited over to Rachel's birthday. Everything

1118
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 4: was fine and we had a good time, and all

1119
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 4: of a sudden, Rachel pulled out an album of photographs

1120
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 4: of a family vacation in two thousand and eight. The

1121
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 4: album contained photos of my dad on a family vacation

1122
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: with another woman, with another family ten years ago.

1123
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: I had a hard time coping.

1124
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 4: With the situation and not breaking out into tears of

1125
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 4: desperation in front of everybody. The man I respected so

1126
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:23,399
Speaker 4: much for always working so hard wasn't working overtime. He

1127
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 4: was with another family. It just feels like the last

1128
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 4: ten years with my family were a complete lie.

1129
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 2: And you don't go on a family vacation if you

1130
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 2: just got together.

1131
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 4: My guess is they got together when my dad tried

1132
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 4: to break up for the first time, just with the

1133
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 4: small difference that he stayed and pretended that everything was fine.

1134
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 4: He led a whole double life with a second family.

1135
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 4: The man I respect the most in my life for

1136
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 4: what he is and is not only cheated, which is

1137
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 4: a huge no go for me, but much worse, he

1138
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 4: constantly lied about pretty much everything where he goes, why

1139
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 4: we don't have any money?

1140
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,720
Speaker 2: Everything? And what about the former girlfriend Sarah?

1141
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 3: Did he heat cheat.

1142
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 2: With her on Rachel? How much does she know? Does

1143
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 2: she know? My mom doesn't know.

1144
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 4: I don't have the courage yet to talk to my

1145
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 4: dad about this and ask questions. There are so many

1146
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 4: questions in my head and I even messed up my

1147
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 4: recent exams because of this.

1148
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:16,760
Speaker 2: I feel so incredibly.

1149
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 4: Bad for my mom, and the worst thing is that

1150
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 4: I can't tell her at first. This is absolutely not

1151
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 4: my job to tell her, sure, but I feel so

1152
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 4: horribly guilty for knowing this while she doesn't know or

1153
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 4: does she know, and she just never told me. I

1154
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 4: have no idea if it hit me already that hard,

1155
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 4: how bad would it be for her?

1156
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 3: For me?

1157
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 4: It was a childhood for her a twenty year marriage.

1158
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 4: Don't even know how to feel about this. It would

1159
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 4: be so much easier if I didn't love both my

1160
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 4: mom and my dad and his second family as well.

1161
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 4: The worst part for me, and this does sound selfish,

1162
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 4: is that I'm not able to talk with the person

1163
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 4: that always helped and was there for me when everything

1164
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 4: went down the hole because it would probably hurt her,

1165
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 4: my mom even more than me. My gut feeling says,

1166
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,439
Speaker 4: I need to distance myself from my family, but I'm

1167
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 4: not sure if that will help. I don't know how

1168
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 4: to deal with the whole situation. Advice and we have

1169
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 4: some comments, I mean, do we have any more advice

1170
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 4: between the three of us, folks.

1171
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 7: I get why she feels like she doesn't She can't

1172
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 7: talk to her because she doesn't want to be like

1173
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 7: stepping out a turn or something like that, or like

1174
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 7: deal with some like sort of relationship issues that she's

1175
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 7: not technically a part of.

1176
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 6: And she also just does maybe doesn't want to hurt

1177
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 6: the mom.

1178
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 4: I'm at number one, You need to speak with a therapist,

1179
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 4: like yesterday.

1180
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 2: Is this an option for you at all?

1181
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 4: It's hard to process and except that parents are just

1182
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 4: humans after all, finding out the flaws of our parents

1183
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 4: can be so difficult. And this one, well, it's a doozy.

1184
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,840
Speaker 4: Showing you the photo album was insensitive. They should have

1185
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 4: never brought you into that situation without preparing for the

1186
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 4: very likely outcome that you'd find out your mom needs

1187
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 4: professional help as well.

1188
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 2: It's good of you to want.

1189
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 4: To support her in love, but you're her daughter and

1190
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 4: you cannot be responsible for how she processes this. Everyone

1191
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:58,760
Speaker 4: needs counseling here, Mom, dad, you, any other kids involved. Everyone,

1192
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I can't

1193
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 4: even fathom the kind of deception and heartache op he says.

1194
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 4: I'm really considering speaking with a therapist, but this can

1195
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 4: have a lot of bad consequences in my country. For example,

1196
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 4: it does affect your credit score and insurances are really bad.

1197
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 2: Need to do more research about that.

1198
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 4: But I really like to build a future with a

1199
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 4: home with my boyfriend, so bad credit score would be

1200
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 4: a huge problem. I think about it more in the

1201
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 4: terms that it's been affecting everyone for such a long time,

1202
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 4: and it's been affecting me so badly that I don't

1203
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 4: want to let it destroy my future as well. And

1204
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 4: regarding this, I'm not sure if my mom would be

1205
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 4: better off knowing it. What I know for sure is

1206
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 4: that if I get together all of my courage and

1207
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 4: tell her, I'd look for a therapist for her and

1208
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 4: make sure she gets professional help. So most of you

1209
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 4: guys advise me to tell my mom and get therapy

1210
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 4: for us, both as well as a divorce for my mom.

1211
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 4: I tried to follow this idea, but honestly, it didn't

1212
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 4: feel right to me, and I felt like it's a

1213
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 4: not my job to do this and be not my

1214
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 4: right to pop.

1215
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 2: The bubble she lives in. Point B.

1216
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 4: It's pretty important because my mom tends to live in

1217
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 4: her own bubble. It's gotten worse since my dad moved

1218
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 4: out because she can't deny that he's gone. Dad and

1219
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 4: I decided a long time ago, ten years or so,

1220
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 4: that we don't rip her out of her own little

1221
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 4: world and let her live in denial. Also because arguing

1222
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 4: with her is pointless, and I do mean pointless. If

1223
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 4: she has another point than you, you could talk as

1224
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 4: well to a wall. Logic doesn't work here. Something I

1225
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,959
Speaker 4: realized about my mom that surprised me as well would

1226
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 4: be that some days after posting, I stumbled upon a

1227
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 4: subreddit called raised by Narth and guess what I found?

1228
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 4: My mom the North Prayer, completely absorbing the being a

1229
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 4: mother of personality, even going far enough to make me

1230
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 4: sick as a child to have a reason she can't

1231
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 4: go to work and be a full time mother. But

1232
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 4: that's another story on its own. Hanging around with the

1233
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 4: lovely mom of my boyfriend. I realized a lot of

1234
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 4: what I experienced and knew is not just usual mom behavior,

1235
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 4: and that my mom is some kind of master guilt tripper.

1236
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,800
Speaker 4: I'm her victim basically my whole life. I felt guilty

1237
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 4: because I tended to like my dad more than my mom,

1238
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 4: and I never understood what was going on. But seeing

1239
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 4: both their behaviors from a third person's perspective was a

1240
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 4: real eye opener. I learned that my mom was and

1241
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 4: is a manipulative and controlling person, and I understood why

1242
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 4: visiting her is always exhausting, both for my boyfriend and myself.

1243
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 4: Boyfriend saw and told me what I couldn't see, or

1244
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 4: I guess what I didn't want to see, and all

1245
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 4: I thought was, I mean, well, she's still my mom,

1246
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 4: so it's my duty to deal with it. In retrospect,

1247
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 4: it seems like my dad always wanted to protect me

1248
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 4: from her. That's still confusing to understand now at twenty five. Heck,

1249
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 4: how should I have understood what's going on as a child.

1250
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: Where about my dad?

1251
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 4: You may already have gotten an idea why he led

1252
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 4: a double life and kept it all secret. He didn't

1253
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 4: want to leave me alone with my mom. I reached

1254
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 4: out to him after the birthday party to talk, and

1255
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 4: he was happy I did. As we sat at the

1256
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 4: table and talked about it. He was very calm and

1257
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 4: apologized to me that my feelings were so crushed by this.

1258
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 2: What the what's going on? What just happened?

1259
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 6: We're finally talking to the dad.

1260
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 2: Did dad do a switcheroo? Or what's going on here?

1261
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 5: Now?

1262
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,879
Speaker 2: It's mom? It's been mom the whole time. You realized it.

1263
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 7: I guess I can't tell you that dad is like

1264
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 7: telling her this, but I don't know how else she

1265
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 7: would find it out. So I'm guessing the dad is

1266
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 7: telling her about this and she's kind of but I mean,

1267
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 7: if she started to talk to the dad is like

1268
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 7: why did you do this?

1269
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 3: And he's like, a, I see your mom.

1270
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 4: So he says he never intended to hurt me and

1271
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 4: didn't think it would be a surprise for me at all,

1272
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 4: since I was always a smart kid, and how could

1273
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 4: one not see that something is wrong with their parents

1274
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 4: sleeping in separate beds. I told him it's hard to

1275
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 4: see for a child that doesn't know any better, and

1276
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 4: he apologized again that he didn't think of that, and

1277
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 4: he felt really bad for me. He also confessed that

1278
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 4: I'm the person he trusts and loves the most, and

1279
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 4: that's the reason he wanted me to know and let

1280
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 4: me be a bigger part of his world. Oh and

1281
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 4: an interesting bit of info, Rachel and him have had

1282
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 4: their twenty year anniversary next year. Oh my god, so

1283
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 4: many wrong decisions were made here regarding the relationship stuff.

1284
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 2: I really feel sorry.

1285
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,399
Speaker 4: For him and am finally able to underst and why

1286
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 4: he always told me to take my time knowing someone

1287
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 4: before thinking about getting a child. Anecdotal I was an

1288
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 4: accident baby. He knew her two months before she got pregnant,

1289
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 4: but she always told him she took birth control. What

1290
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 4: have I done the last few months? Where am I now?

1291
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 4: First of all, I didn't tell my mom at this point.

1292
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 4: I don't see the sense in telling her. She'll just

1293
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 4: deny it anyway.

1294
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 2: I know my mom.

1295
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 4: I love her despite what she did to me and

1296
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 4: still does to me, and it doesn't make sense.

1297
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,240
Speaker 2: To hurt her with the truth.

1298
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 4: Deep down, I feel she knows it anyway and has

1299
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 4: known it all along. I guess an adult does notice

1300
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,320
Speaker 4: that sleeping in separate beds isn't the norm and still

1301
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 4: denies it.

1302
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 2: There's no need to rip her out of denial this deep.

1303
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 2: I did talk about it with other adults, my physician

1304
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:39,920
Speaker 2: being one of them.

1305
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 4: He told me that my gut feeling is right, and

1306
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 4: before I consult a therapist, I should consider taking my

1307
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 4: time and my distance from it all and see how

1308
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 4: I feel. Since he also confirmed that going to a

1309
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 4: therapist in Germany has consequences for some work fields, he

1310
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 4: said he has the impression that I sorted through my

1311
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 4: thoughts well enough to handle this and that I'm not

1312
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 4: left alone in this.

1313
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 2: Here's some interesting info.

1314
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 4: Every person that knew my mom personally advised me to

1315
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 4: not tell her and that it wouldn't make any sense.

1316
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 4: I decided that both my parents are adults and old

1317
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 4: enough to handle their relationship alone. That was a huge one,

1318
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 4: and honestly, I think this is the point I made

1319
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 4: my first step into getting over it and distancing myself

1320
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 4: from this mess. As far as I can see, it helped.

1321
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 4: I got an apprenticeship in my dream job at a

1322
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 4: dream company about two hundred and twenty miles from home.

1323
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 4: It doesn't sound like a lot, but the physical distance

1324
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 4: is a huge relief because I'm just not tangible anymore.

1325
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,799
Speaker 4: A nice side effect of all of this is, even

1326
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 4: though that I'm working more hours per week, going from

1327
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 4: twenty to thirty five hours, I started to excel in

1328
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 4: my studies at that point. I think it might be

1329
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 4: about all the distraction and worry that I had at home.

1330
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 4: Since I've been here. I come home and then I'm

1331
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 4: able to concentrate on the stuff I have to learn.

1332
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 4: Then I'll go out for a walk, come home, cook

1333
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,360
Speaker 4: a healthy meal for a boyfriend in me sleep early.

1334
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 2: I feel so much better overall.

1335
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 4: Seeing what it's like to work in my dream job

1336
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 4: might be a little motivator too. So what helped me

1337
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 4: all along is distance, mostly the physical distance, since I

1338
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 4: don't feel bad about it, even if my mom still

1339
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:07,479
Speaker 4: tries to guilt trip me every other day.

1340
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:08,880
Speaker 2: But that's the point.

1341
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 4: I just turn off my phone and enjoy my life

1342
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 4: and make the best out of it. There's absolutely no

1343
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 4: reason one should feel bad about taking the chance to

1344
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 4: work in their dream job in a dream company. And

1345
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 4: if whoever doesn't respect that or didn't understand that the

1346
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 4: world doesn't gravitate around them, and most importantly, that your

1347
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 4: kids are their own persons with their own wishes and

1348
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 4: goals and shouldn't be pressured into fulfilling wishes and goals.

1349
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 4: That you weren't able to make a words about my

1350
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 4: health since a lot of you were concerned about how

1351
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 4: I'm doing. What led me to almost passing away was

1352
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 4: a big chain of unfortunate events, lemony snicket and mistakes

1353
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 4: made by medical personnel. Unfortunately, it does affect me to

1354
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 4: this day and always will because ten percent of my

1355
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 4: lung tissue it died in the process and I have

1356
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 4: to take lifelong medication to make my blood clot slower

1357
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 4: to avoid it from happening again.

1358
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 2: Don't worry, I'm fine.

1359
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 4: I had my point of no return in March twenty seventeen,

1360
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 4: where I decided I don't want to live the rest

1361
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 4: of my life into bed and went my way. Lost

1362
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 4: fifty five pounds, got my skin nice and clear, and

1363
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 4: changed my overall being, all out of my own free

1364
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 4: will and with the help of Reddit that I just

1365
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 4: discovered at that time. Today, I learned moving around and

1366
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,479
Speaker 4: building stamina helps a lot if you're lacking a chunk

1367
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 4: of your lung. So you could say Reddit literally changed

1368
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 4: my life for the better. But that's again another story

1369
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 4: on its own. Something that I didn't see was discussed.

1370
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 4: You mentioned a twenty year anniversary. But does the other wife,

1371
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 4: Rachel not your mom know about the girlfriend Sarah. I'd

1372
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 4: assume not. If not, i'd assume your dad was on

1373
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 4: and off with the twenty year anniversary wife. Right. OHP

1374
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 4: says not sure about that. My father mentioned her the

1375
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 4: twenty year anniversary girlfriend to be on the more jealous side.

1376
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 4: It could be the result of him telling her about Sarah.

1377
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 4: I didn't talk about Sarah anymore since I also disliked

1378
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 4: her as a person. I knew her for years and

1379
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 4: never really liked her. Nothing to do with the relationship stuff.

1380
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story.

1381
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: Hey, Sam, we're going to get back to the stories.

1382
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bad s prom our sponsors.

1383
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 6: My stepbrother excluded us from his wedding.

1384
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 3: Because we disrespected his fiance.

1385
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 2: He uno reverse carded the disrespect for her.

1386
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 3: Context.

1387
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 7: I twenty one female, have a stepbrother nineteen male, who

1388
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 7: i'll call Tristan, that has been dating his girlfriend, eighteen

1389
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 7: female I'll call her Heather for about a year now.

1390
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 7: They met in high school when she was a junior

1391
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 7: and he was a senior. Throughout their relationship, my family

1392
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 7: and I have seen red flags from Heather. In the beginning,

1393
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 7: she seemed nice enough and we had no issues. This

1394
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 7: is until they were lying to my parents about her

1395
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 7: giving him rides home from school.

1396
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 6: Hanging out, and you know, the normal teenage things.

1397
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from a commercial time seventy

1398
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 7: five eighteen from the r slash Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddits,

1399
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 7: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1400
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 7: to the r slash Okay story time subreddit. So a

1401
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 7: few months into their relationship, my parents caught them in

1402
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 7: adult activities in his room with.

1403
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 3: The door open, well all of us were home, of course.

1404
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 6: Arguing and yelling followed this, and she left.

1405
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 7: This was on top of them lying about being a couple,

1406
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 7: lying about her driving around and hanging out, him trying

1407
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 7: to sneaker in the house, and her having what I

1408
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 7: can only describe as a snobby attitude with my parents. Eventually,

1409
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 7: my parents banned her from our house, but told them

1410
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 7: what they do together outside of our house isn't their business.

1411
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 6: They told me this too when I was with my ex.

1412
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 3: This is where I figured he would.

1413
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 7: Dump her, as that was his usual pattern with his

1414
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 7: version of dating. Tristan was a very troubled child to

1415
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 7: say the least. My stepmom and two stepbrothers moved in

1416
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 7: with my dad when I was about ten. I lived

1417
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 7: with my witch of a woman for a mother and

1418
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 7: her husband they are a whole another story on their

1419
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 7: own at the time, and visited my dad on the weekends. Now,

1420
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 7: I moved in with my dad and stepmom after I

1421
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 7: turned eighteen. In the first two years of me living

1422
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 7: with my family, he had dated at least four different

1423
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 7: girls to my knowledge, and they all ended the same way.

1424
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 7: He would get some adult action for a few weeks,

1425
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 7: get caught or bored, and then move on to the next.

1426
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 6: But for some reason, Heather was different.

1427
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,560
Speaker 7: He won't even hang out with his friends if they're

1428
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 7: going to a place like a club or bar because

1429
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 7: Heather won't like it personally as a girlfriend.

1430
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 3: If I trusted my partner, I wouldn't care.

1431
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 6: But I know every one is different for different reasons.

1432
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 7: Tristan is not one to be walked on, as he

1433
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 7: has had so many fights with our parents.

1434
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 6: As he would do things like break into my room.

1435
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 7: It was so bad my dad put a lock on

1436
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 7: my door and it still didn't stop him and steal

1437
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 7: my gaming console or tablet, or sneak my stepmom's old

1438
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 7: phone or computer when we weren't home or sleeping. This

1439
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 7: behavior got better as we got older. Tristan was accepted

1440
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 7: early into the military before he even met Heather, and

1441
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 7: had initially told her he wasn't sure how it.

1442
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 3: Would affect their relationship. This led to her.

1443
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 7: Screaming and crying about him not being able to promise

1444
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 7: they were be together forever and that she can't handle

1445
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 7: the long distance relationships prize. Apparently she can, because he

1446
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:37,880
Speaker 7: has been in the military for over a year now

1447
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:40,959
Speaker 7: and has been home maybe four times. Tristan even broke

1448
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 7: down crying talking to my dad about the situation with

1449
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 7: her because he didn't know what to do, and my

1450
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 7: dad told him that a good relationship should not make

1451
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 7: him feel this way. Remember when I said she was

1452
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 7: banned from the house, Well, my parents decided to be

1453
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 7: nice and let her come over for this past Christmas

1454
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 7: as she doesn't care for either of her parents, and

1455
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 7: my brother had asked since it was Christmas.

1456
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 2: Well, my dad caught them in.

1457
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:02,479
Speaker 7: The eye again when he went inside to get them

1458
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 7: so we could go look at Christmas lights like we

1459
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 7: do every year.

1460
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 6: Imagine that the dad is like, hey.

1461
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 3: Guys, you want to go over the girl? Oh my god,

1462
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 3: you got it?

1463
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, do you want to go see some

1464
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 2: Christmas law.

1465
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 6: Now to the reason for this post.

1466
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,040
Speaker 7: Tristan called the other night to tell us about his

1467
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 7: new job and that he's coming back home for a

1468
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,439
Speaker 7: few days next week and wanted to maybe grab lunch

1469
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 7: or dinner the Thursday that he's here, as he will

1470
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 7: be getting in late Wednesday night. Our family conversation was

1471
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 7: normal until he casually mentioned him getting married, to which

1472
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:41,520
Speaker 7: he actually said that he freaked up by saying it

1473
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 7: since he messed up already.

1474
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 3: He came clean and told us that him and.

1475
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 7: Heather are getting married a week from this coming Saturday,

1476
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 7: on a boat.

1477
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 6: With her family that she hates and has no good

1478
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 6: relationships with.

1479
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:53,400
Speaker 7: He never mentioned us being included in those plans, so

1480
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 7: my stepmama asked in the conversation with something like this,

1481
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 7: what about us, Well, I want.

1482
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 2: You guys there, but Heather does it. She said it would.

1483
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 4: Ruin her plans and she kind of feels disrespected by

1484
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 4: you guys.

1485
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:09,439
Speaker 7: Right, well, anything to make her happy, I guess now.

1486
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 3: I know I'm on the younger side of this.

1487
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 7: However, I don't think that banning someone that has no

1488
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,959
Speaker 7: respect for my parents in their own house and still

1489
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,960
Speaker 7: giving them a second chance which they failed again to

1490
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 7: be respectful. And yes, I do put fall on my

1491
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:23,720
Speaker 7: brother for those actions as well, and so to my

1492
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,040
Speaker 7: parents and encouraging him to go to a bar and

1493
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 7: hanging out with his friends.

1494
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 6: Where he is stationed instead of doing nothing and staying

1495
01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:29,959
Speaker 6: in his.

1496
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 7: Housing is so bad that you won't let your soon

1497
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 7: to be husband invite his own family to the wedding. Also,

1498
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 7: me and my grandmother and I who is also our

1499
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,439
Speaker 7: next door neighbor, have talked to this girl maybe four

1500
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 7: times the whole time that they were together, and.

1501
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 3: Kept my comments to myself.

1502
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 6: So I'm not really.

1503
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 7: Sure what we did, but fine, my dad told him

1504
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 7: that it was unfortunate we weren't invited.

1505
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 6: Especially because he told us that he wanted us there,

1506
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 6: but because.

1507
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 3: He never told us.

1508
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 7: They have plans for a little vacation and I have

1509
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 7: to work, so we couldn't go even if he put

1510
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 7: his foot down on it. Dad told him that he's

1511
01:03:57,880 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 7: young and he needs to figure things out for himself.

1512
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 7: We know that he won't listen to us since he

1513
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 7: never did before, and that while we don't want him

1514
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 7: to marry this girl, it's his decision and it won't

1515
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 7: stop us from picking up the phone when he calls

1516
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 7: or having him come home to visit. However, it will

1517
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 7: not stop the inevitable conversation. We all need to have

1518
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,480
Speaker 7: my family him and as soon to be wife if

1519
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 7: he truly wants to have us in his life, but

1520
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 7: she wants to exclude us because she feels this way.

1521
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 6: To this, my brother reluctantly agreed.

1522
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 3: As of now, my.

1523
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 7: Dad and I are over it since we already figured

1524
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 7: something like this would happen, and my step mom is

1525
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 7: very upset, which makes me angry. I love her so much.

1526
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 7: She's the mom that I never would have thought I

1527
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:31,920
Speaker 7: could have.

1528
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:32,160
Speaker 3: Her.

1529
01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 7: Oldest son also joined the military and eventually faded us

1530
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 7: out for some reason. I wasn't very close with him

1531
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 7: since he left when I was like fifteen, and I

1532
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:41,640
Speaker 7: barely saw him anyway, So she won't see him getting

1533
01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 7: married or meet his kids if he has them. And

1534
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 7: now the same thing is starting with Tristan. If and

1535
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 7: when we hear anything or see him, I may give

1536
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 7: an update if you would like. I've been angry for

1537
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 7: two days now, and guess what, there is an update.

1538
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 3: Do you have any quick thoughts.

1539
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,760
Speaker 4: Like let's just be like, let's just all get along?

1540
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 4: Can't we all just decide to get along along?

1541
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,880
Speaker 6: My best He found my post and urged me to

1542
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 6: update since it has.

1543
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:03,560
Speaker 3: Been a while.

1544
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 7: Unfortunately, there's not much that I can say as of now,

1545
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 7: since we still have not heard from him and he's

1546
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 7: only posting his usual little memes on his social media.

1547
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 7: Although we haven't heard from him, we're taking the silence

1548
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 7: as they are now married and we have moved along

1549
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 7: with life and will be at the phone if and

1550
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 7: when he finally does call, since sometimes it's been a

1551
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 7: few months before he does call, being busy with th

1552
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 7: relocations and all. So when the time comes, as comments

1553
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:27,920
Speaker 7: have said, I will have my popcorn ready and a

1554
01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 7: moving track.

1555
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:29,080
Speaker 3: If I have to.

1556
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,880
Speaker 7: My lovely grandma bet me five dollars. They won't make

1557
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 7: it to six months, so maybe she will pay for

1558
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 7: my pop worn when the time comes. Well that's all

1559
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 7: for now, and there is an edit. I just would

1560
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 7: like to address a few questions I have seen in

1561
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 7: the comments of this update, as well as in the

1562
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 7: original post that I created. In the original post comments,

1563
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 7: I did relay that per my older stepbrother's absence, it

1564
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:52,400
Speaker 7: was faded out after him joining the military, which spanned

1565
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 7: over about two years. He was traveling overseas a lot

1566
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:58,200
Speaker 7: during those years. Unfortunately, as I did state in my

1567
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 7: original post, I did not know the entire a story

1568
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,560
Speaker 7: of my older stepbrother's relationship with my stepmom or other

1569
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,200
Speaker 7: stepbrother as I lived with my mother and only.

1570
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:07,600
Speaker 3: Could visit my dad on the weekends.

1571
01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 7: To my knowledge, there was not any issues, but he

1572
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,640
Speaker 7: was very quiet and reserved, and he was sixteen or

1573
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 7: seventeen when they had moved in, so he was not

1574
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 7: truly around my dad and I for very long. The

1575
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 7: main thing of my family not being invited was due

1576
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 7: to my brother actually telling my stepmom he wanted us there,

1577
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 7: but his now wife did not, although she does not

1578
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 7: talk to her own parents, but she invited them. My

1579
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 7: dad said after I had written my original post that

1580
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 7: he's pretty sure that the no invite thing was pretty

1581
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,680
Speaker 7: much just for my parents, since me and my grandma

1582
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 7: have had maybe one.

1583
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 6: Full conversation with this girl.

1584
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 7: Also, he has not gone no contact with my family

1585
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,360
Speaker 7: to my knowledge. As I have previously stated, it has

1586
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 7: happened a few times that we do not hear from

1587
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 7: him for a few months at a time due to

1588
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 7: him being in the military. As for my own feelings

1589
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:49,560
Speaker 7: on this, I am supportive of my brother no matter

1590
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 7: what he has decided, and as one comment has said on.

1591
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,000
Speaker 3: This update, did take over on the little bet.

1592
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 6: My grandma made, especially since it has been.

1593
01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 3: A month already. I love my brother very much and.

1594
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 6: He will continue with his decision for as.

1595
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 7: Long as he can't given his thieving habits that did

1596
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:06,560
Speaker 7: not break until his senior year of high school, which

1597
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:08,520
Speaker 7: was like a year or two ago, and that fighting

1598
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:11,080
Speaker 7: him on it would only make him double down more.

1599
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 7: And that's the end of that story. Oh my gosh.

1600
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,560
Speaker 4: All you can do in these situations that I've been

1601
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 4: told before where it's like, oh my god, you got

1602
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:18,680
Speaker 4: to talk to so and so because they're going to

1603
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 4: marry so and so, And I'm like, what do you

1604
01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:20,880
Speaker 4: want me to say?

1605
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 3: Right?

1606
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,760
Speaker 2: Right, He'll be.

1607
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 4: Like you so much now, I'm totally not going to

1608
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:28,480
Speaker 4: marry this person. Yeah right, He's going to go, Oh, well,

1609
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 4: I really wish you didn't say that to me.

1610
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:31,880
Speaker 2: Anyways, I'm going to get married.

1611
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 4: I guess you don't want to go to the wedding

1612
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 4: like what like, Come on, just be happy for people

1613
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:37,440
Speaker 4: and wishing the best.