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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast

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Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental

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Speaker 1: health podcast with Jay Glazer. And is my real honor

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Speaker 1: and pleasure to bring it a duty here who he

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Speaker 1: is a phenomenal football player, was one of the top

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Speaker 1: picks of the draft a couple of years ago. But

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Speaker 1: he's a better person because he's using his platform to

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Speaker 1: really help others and try and kick this door open

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Speaker 1: of mental health and the stigma around it. You guys

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Speaker 1: know how much I talk about it, and I need

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Speaker 1: more warriors like him to talk about it also. And

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Speaker 1: the faster we could all realize we're in the majority,

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Speaker 1: those of us who struggle with things we're not in

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Speaker 1: the minority, the more we're gonna be apt to turn

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Speaker 1: to our teammates and turn to our family members, diurnt

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Speaker 1: to anybody and start talking about it so we don't

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Speaker 1: have to suffer in silence with that. I'm gonna welcome in,

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Speaker 1: my dude, Solomon Thomas, how are you, brother? I'm good, Jay,

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Speaker 1: How are you doing it? Thanks? Right man? Absolutely, you're

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Speaker 1: in were you right now? You're in Philly. I'm in

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Speaker 1: Philly right now. Yes, sir, Yes, one of your buddy

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Speaker 1: exactly kind of Lane and I love it, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Make make sure you when you are training with Lane,

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Speaker 1: say hey, I want to learn some of his wrestling

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Speaker 1: stuff you do with Glazer and then hold on, I've

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Speaker 1: a ride. No, I will hold on for a ride. Man.

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Speaker 1: He's a strong set of a bitch. Oh my, he's

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Speaker 1: a He's an animal. This is just a freak before

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Speaker 1: we get into it. Like your stories as Wild, you've

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Speaker 1: been through a lot, your your sister having committed suicide

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Speaker 1: and what you're doing about it now before we jump

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Speaker 1: into that as we talk here. For me with my

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Speaker 1: anxiety and depression, it always goes to the worst possible

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Speaker 1: scenario walk. When I've been in contract box, even when

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Speaker 1: I've resigned, I've been like, Nope, it's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Fox is gonna sign it, and shit is I've been

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Speaker 1: there for twenty years. Take us inside of the mind

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Speaker 1: with somebody like you as anxiety and mental health issues

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Speaker 1: when you're living in the unknown a free agency definitely. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So it's just part of the job that you understand

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Speaker 1: and is the always not knowing what's next, not knowing

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Speaker 1: where you're living. I know where you're playing for and

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Speaker 1: someone for me. I've been on one year deals, left

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Speaker 1: two years, so each after each year, pack up, kind

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Speaker 1: of go wherever come in and no mad and then

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Speaker 1: just kind of wait to hear like where I'm going next,

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Speaker 1: and like the process of it is. It builds. It

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Speaker 1: is because you don't focus on it kill. It happens

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Speaker 1: when march whatever hits and it's great. You start to

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Speaker 1: see all your friends inside or teammates can signed and

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Speaker 1: you're not sign or those thoughts are keeping in Okay, Hey,

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Speaker 1: like am I good enough? Hey? What's my value? Hey?

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Speaker 1: Where am I going to be? Hey? What's next? But

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to just build and build and builds. And

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Speaker 1: you have to bring yourself down to the present moment

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Speaker 1: of what I'm doing and whether I'm training, whether I'm

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Speaker 1: talking with you, whether I'm talking to my mom or dad,

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Speaker 1: watching the show, whatever. I can just be in the

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Speaker 1: moment and control what I can control. Because if I

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Speaker 1: just let the all the thoughts and all the unknown

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Speaker 1: just keeping roaming in my head, I'm just gonna build

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Speaker 1: myself down. I'm gonna just collapse, honestly. But but being

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Speaker 1: in this work and being the member work, I've known

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Speaker 1: how to combat this and I've learned how to how

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Speaker 1: to attack this. I wake up in the morning, I

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Speaker 1: feel anxious, so I don't know it's next, so I

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Speaker 1: take a cold shower to kind of deal with that,

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Speaker 1: and other things like our journal all the day to

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Speaker 1: make sure I can get out of my head or

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Speaker 1: other things. But like, being in this work has helped me.

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Speaker 1: But that's kind of what it's like for a player

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Speaker 1: like me who've gone on when year deal to one

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Speaker 1: year deal. You know, one of the things I try

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Speaker 1: to show peoples where are your anxiety and depression and

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Speaker 1: your add can actually be weapons and superpower. So if

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Speaker 1: you didn't have the anxiety, you wouldn't have these tools

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Speaker 1: to better handle living in question right now? Definitely, definitely,

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Speaker 1: And that's why I've loved and I've learned, Like so

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Speaker 1: now I try to I don't know, I don't call

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Speaker 1: them instincts, but I have these feelings and at base

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Speaker 1: decisions or cooking mechans and do off these feelings. But

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling sad or that I'm feeling anxious, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: what I'm feeling angry, but now I have these outlets,

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Speaker 1: these tools I've learned through therapy, through other mental health

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Speaker 1: advocates or foundations, my own organizations, certain things I've learned

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Speaker 1: to deal with these emotions, dealt these feelings, so I

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Speaker 1: can still feel what I'm feeling, but be present and

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Speaker 1: be okay and be okay with however I'm feeling in

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Speaker 1: the moment. That's it's cool, Like there's two dudes like

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Speaker 1: us who can now talk openly about things and our

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Speaker 1: feelings and which we wouldn't have done a year ago,

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Speaker 1: two years ago, three years ago. Right, It's it's great

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Speaker 1: to have this now where you don't have to just

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Speaker 1: put on that mask. Definitely. Yeah, this ship doesn't bother me.

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Speaker 1: Fucking that bothers us. Yeah, I mean, I mean we're

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Speaker 1: just human like, and we're going through different things like

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Speaker 1: you're going through things. I'm going through things, and we're

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Speaker 1: feeling certain emotions because of it. And it's not weird.

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Speaker 1: We're not weird or alone or awkward or or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Just because we feel anxiety and depression as a man,

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Speaker 1: or we feel sadness and anger as a man like.

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Speaker 1: These are normal feelings but human experience, but as man,

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Speaker 1: we just normally block them off and we don't feel them.

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Speaker 1: We're like, okay, diagnos, Oh no, I'm a man. I

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Speaker 1: can't feel that, or anger, like, oh that's good for

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Speaker 1: a man, but I'm using a bad way, or like

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Speaker 1: all these other feelings, like we've been touched to block

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Speaker 1: them off and push them down. But when we do that,

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Speaker 1: we just build and build and build bad stuff. And

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Speaker 1: when that explodes, that's when bad and side things happen. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for me, when I would live in question, I would

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Speaker 1: tend to sun but hodge things because I would think that, hey,

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Speaker 1: the worst possible scenario is gonna happen, so I would

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Speaker 1: make the worst possible scenarios happen faster because the pain

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Speaker 1: of living in question was too much for me, which

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Speaker 1: is obviously not the healthiest thing. And now I understand it.

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Speaker 1: And like even my girl said to me that they're

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Speaker 1: like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm not going anywhere.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to push me away. This is yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're good, right, So it's a it's a tough place

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Speaker 1: to be between your ears when you think you deserve

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Speaker 1: for the worst possible thing to happen. So you're going

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Speaker 1: to speed up the process. Overcoming that was was big

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Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, no, I mean, and like you said,

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Speaker 1: our thoughts matter and what we think matters, and if

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Speaker 1: you just believe in and let our folks come down there,

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Speaker 1: it can lead to hard places. But as the more

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Speaker 1: we understand it, can be aware of it, and can

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Speaker 1: have actually plan to you know, cope with that and

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Speaker 1: fix that, the more we'll be straight. So now you're

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Speaker 1: doing a lot of work with mental health. Tell the

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Speaker 1: world why you went through something very traumatic a few

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Speaker 1: years ago, Yes, sir, Yeah, so back in ten eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I lost my basis eligus to was and completely you know,

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Speaker 1: didn't know much about my mental health, didn't know much

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Speaker 1: about suicide. You heard about it, You're like, oh, that's sad,

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Speaker 1: but until it hits you, it is a pain that

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Speaker 1: I wish on nobody and I hate for anybody to

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Speaker 1: feel the pain that my sister one, that me and

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Speaker 1: my family go there from losing my sister, but just

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Speaker 1: through my families were upside down. We didn't know much

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Speaker 1: about mental health. We're throwing the word of mental health

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Speaker 1: and people don't talk about it. People are talking about suicide.

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Speaker 1: People aren't talking about why Ella died. People just talking

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Speaker 1: about Ella's dead, and we're sorry for the Thomas family.

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Speaker 1: You know, we were very blessed to have, you know,

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Speaker 1: some great foundations around us to keep keep us on

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Speaker 1: our feet around the time after Ella died and keep

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Speaker 1: us going. But like if something that I didn't talk about,

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Speaker 1: like I was feeling. I was so angry at the world.

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Speaker 1: I was angry that my sisters not here. I was depressed,

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Speaker 1: like didn't know how to deal with grief, you know,

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Speaker 1: how to walk with it. Was just trying to be

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Speaker 1: strong for my parents and just kept pushing all emotions

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Speaker 1: or anything I felt down. And I just kept building

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Speaker 1: this this big, dark kind of like shadow like down

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Speaker 1: in my stomach. And the more I built it, the

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Speaker 1: more it just kept growing. You know. I even did

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Speaker 1: like a couple of speaking things where like I'm not speaking.

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Speaker 1: I wrote an article with my night for ESPN, and

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Speaker 1: we talked about Ella's story, and I got this outreach

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Speaker 1: of so many people having similar stories about like feeling

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Speaker 1: Ella's pain or or understanding my pain. And I didn't

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Speaker 1: realize how big of a problem mental health was in

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Speaker 1: this world, and so like that just kind of opened

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Speaker 1: my eyes some mental health, but still I was doing

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Speaker 1: the same thing I was. I was pushing down my

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Speaker 1: own depression, anxiety and whatever I was feeling in it.

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Speaker 1: It got so bad. I got to a point where

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to be here like you know, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't feel happy, I couldn't feel a side, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: feel anything like life just felt dull. Didn't care about

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Speaker 1: waking up, didn't care about going to sleep. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I was very very fortunately approached by my general manager

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Speaker 1: of the time and he told me to hey, thought,

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Speaker 1: I got your back. It can need help. And after

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Speaker 1: that I went home and I thought about I was like, dude,

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Speaker 1: what am I doing? Like I legit, don't want to

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Speaker 1: be here, I don't like life. I need help. And

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Speaker 1: next day I told John, Hey, John, like I really

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Speaker 1: would appreciate some help. I'm struggling right now. Far going

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Speaker 1: to therapy that things change change for me. And therapy

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Speaker 1: wasn't easy it. This wasn't like a snap like that.

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Speaker 1: It was so different. You go, you go to John Lynch,

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Speaker 1: did you ever, Yes, sir, yeah, I was at the

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Speaker 1: forty nine with time. This is back in twos eighteen,

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Speaker 1: and that's brave. Of you though, Man, that's greave. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, But the thing is like he approached me first,

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Speaker 1: and that's what really gave me the space to open

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Speaker 1: up and to talk and really think about it. Um,

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Speaker 1: if he didn't do that, I don't know what I

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Speaker 1: would have done. I don't know if I would have

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Speaker 1: gotten help. I don't know where my life would have gone.

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Speaker 1: But him giving me the permission to get help really

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Speaker 1: change the subjective of everything. But like what I try

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Speaker 1: to tell people with this though, is that you don't

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Speaker 1: need permission to get help. Help is good. Help is

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Speaker 1: a good thing. Help is a sign of courage and

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Speaker 1: strength getting help. It takes so much more strength to

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Speaker 1: get help than to just sit back and not say anything.

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Speaker 1: When I was going through my depression to my suicide

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Speaker 1: of thoughts, I was everyone would they would ask me

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Speaker 1: what I was doing, like how I was doing. I

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Speaker 1: would just say I'm good, like I'm going fine, But

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Speaker 1: deep down inside I was. I was dying inside. But

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Speaker 1: therapy really helped change a lot of that for me.

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Speaker 1: Helped me see my feeling, understand our feelings, helping defense

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Speaker 1: okay not to be okay. I learned how to be

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Speaker 1: sad and have a good day. I learned how to

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Speaker 1: cry and have a good day. I learned, you know

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Speaker 1: a lot of certain things that kind of helped me

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Speaker 1: just move on with life and understand films and emotions.

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Speaker 1: But you know, from that, you know, my family understand

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Speaker 1: how bigger problem I was in this world. And we

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Speaker 1: started the foundation called the Defensive Line, where our mission

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Speaker 1: is to end epidemic of you Sue side, especially on

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Speaker 1: people of color, by transforming the way we connect and

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Speaker 1: communicate over mental health. And you know I deal with

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Speaker 1: that was to go talk to the mentors and schools

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Speaker 1: and sports programs and businesses and just making sure we

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Speaker 1: equipment with the language of mental health, making sure they

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Speaker 1: can talk about it, making sure they can create the

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Speaker 1: same environment with their classrooms, businesses, sports locker rooms, how

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Speaker 1: they can you know, just look for warning signs, how

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Speaker 1: they can make sure they find the resources in the area.

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Speaker 1: And so we're just doing that and being able to

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Speaker 1: work with some great programs businesses like MGMM, Standing University,

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Speaker 1: Bill University. But we're just trying to do everything we

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Speaker 1: can to stop you sus having stop the feelside on earth.

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Speaker 1: But that's my story with mental health. But it's it's

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Speaker 1: been a journey and I'm learning every day. I'm growing

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Speaker 1: every day. Um, and I appreciate people like you. We're

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Speaker 1: having these conversations, well we're you can really teach people

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Speaker 1: a lot is you know, when your sister committed suicide?

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Speaker 1: What what she left them behind? When I when I

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Speaker 1: I deal with a lot of vets and a lot

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Speaker 1: of players, and we started charity called MVP Emerging Vets

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Speaker 1: and Players where I put the two together in transition

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Speaker 1: to kind of help them have a new team again.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I always tell them. You know, when

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Speaker 1: someone commits suicide and the whole room is crying, I'm like, whoever,

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Speaker 1: and here's tempted suicide? Yeah you think you're your brother

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Speaker 1: here or your sister is just committed suicide, is looking

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Speaker 1: down on us seeing everyone cry, going yes, look what

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Speaker 1: I did? Or you think she's up there like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: what did I do it? I didn't mean to leave

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Speaker 1: that carnage behind, right what you getting the call and

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Speaker 1: you know, just kind of take me through that of

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Speaker 1: what that was like, man, because I I've had people

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Speaker 1: think their lives, but not my sister. Man, worse worse,

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Speaker 1: worst phone called my life the dad called me, Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, as of training back in Dallas after rookie year,

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Speaker 1: I got to come from my mom earned in the

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Speaker 1: morning the heavy heard from Ella, like, no, I haven't

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Speaker 1: heard from Ella. UM. And you know where the signs beforehand? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, so my sister's story. So she she started,

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Speaker 1: she was diagnosed with depression anxiety, and my parents like

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Speaker 1: got her help throughout her life. What it was, whether

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Speaker 1: it was therapy, medicine, whatever it was. UM. Ella was

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Speaker 1: was was different than the people. Ella was very open,

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Speaker 1: like she was like kind of how you and I

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Speaker 1: were being right now, were being vulnerable, were being transparent.

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Speaker 1: She if someone outs that I was feeling she was

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Speaker 1: ahead of her time, she'd be like, hey, I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: pretty anxious today. And that would scare people back in

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Speaker 1: that day, like people to know how to handle that,

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Speaker 1: people know how to address that. UM. And that kind

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Speaker 1: of pushed La away and made her kind of like

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Speaker 1: kind of be less less of her true authentic self.

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Speaker 1: And Ella suffered a traumatic event in Arkansas UM her

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Speaker 1: sophomore year, the cost of her drop out UM, and

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Speaker 1: then after that, these things kept getting worse and worse,

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Speaker 1: whether it was who she was hanging out with. Whether

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Speaker 1: it was her talking to us, giving away you know,

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Speaker 1: certain belongings, or they're just signs that they definitely let up.

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Speaker 1: But we saw them, we knew them, and we wanted

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Speaker 1: to help Ella. And I was always we were always

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Speaker 1: just trying to be like, hey Ella, we love you,

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Speaker 1: we want you here, and moved our home all this stuff. Um.

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Speaker 1: We had a great Christmas, one of our best vices

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Speaker 1: as a family, you know, and in San frand my

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Speaker 1: rookie year. Then I get home in January and it's

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Speaker 1: like everything's dark, Like I can't connect with her. Um,

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Speaker 1: I can tell she's struggling. The night before she died

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Speaker 1: by suicide, we made plans to go see her work

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Speaker 1: and have it and have a great day. The next day,

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Speaker 1: like we had plans and we had things we were

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Speaker 1: going to do. Wake up in the morning, my mom

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Speaker 1: asked me, like, have you heard from Ella? No? What

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Speaker 1: text her? Don't hear anything back? Um. You know. My

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Speaker 1: mom was like, all right, I'm getting worried. She's got

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Speaker 1: a new school. Um. And then you know, I got

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Speaker 1: a call for my dad and I'm just worried. I'm

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Speaker 1: like I've been talking to my mom like why is

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Speaker 1: my dad called me? And he calls me and uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: he just tells me like, hey, Ella died and it

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Speaker 1: just drops the four crying Ella's dogs all over me,

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Speaker 1: just like worried and push him away, you know. And

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Speaker 1: then but the mostment like it's just like what what

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Speaker 1: is life? What is real? Like? What how is this happening?

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Speaker 1: How is my sister not here? How do I savor?

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Speaker 1: All the feelings? The guilt, its stydus to anger, the confusion,

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Speaker 1: the depression, all that just hits all at once and

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Speaker 1: true the worst feeling of ever felt in my life. Look,

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Speaker 1: you should feel no guilt because it's on whoever it

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Speaker 1: commits the act. Right and again, this is what we

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Speaker 1: leave behind when someone does it. And you know we

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Speaker 1: obviously they're getting they're in a different place, but you

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Speaker 1: leave all this this card, it's behind for everybody to

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Speaker 1: deal with. I'm I'm trying to villainize suicide, trying to

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Speaker 1: do as much as I can, because I think right now,

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Speaker 1: especially with social media making us all think our lives suck.

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Speaker 1: When someone takes their lives, everybody's looking at that person.

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Speaker 1: It's outpouring a love and we all start going well, shit,

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Speaker 1: my life sucks right now. Everybody loves Johnny. I want

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Speaker 1: that kind of love, and I think that's kind of

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Speaker 1: led to the epidemic a little bit. Instead of seeing

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Speaker 1: the raw motion that you're showing out there right now,

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Speaker 1: this is really what it is. Yeah, I mean, just

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Speaker 1: you know this. It's a hard, hard film that I

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Speaker 1: wish on nobody. Like it really sucks and hurts because

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Speaker 1: like Ella was in so much pain, she felt like

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Speaker 1: she needed to do this, She felt like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to get better. She felt like she just was

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Speaker 1: going to feel this for the rest of her life.

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Speaker 1: And she follows n be easier just to end it

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Speaker 1: than to keep going. And that's what people don't understand,

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Speaker 1: Like when people die by suicide is that they didn't

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Speaker 1: end it because of you, didn't them because this. They

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Speaker 1: ended because there was so much pain that they couldn't

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Speaker 1: keep going. And what we're trying to do is to

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Speaker 1: let people know that this pain is. Yes, she might

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Speaker 1: continue to feel it, but there's gonna be ways to

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Speaker 1: manage it and deal with it and if it to

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Speaker 1: get better, and there's hoping it and there's light in

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Speaker 1: this tunnel. They of darkness that you're going through and

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Speaker 1: just just trying to preach the smashes and keep this

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Speaker 1: smatches going because like we need people here. These are

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Speaker 1: great people who need to keep living um and I

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Speaker 1: feel like suicide the most is the most preventable death

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Speaker 1: and trying to find every way possible to prevent it

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Speaker 1: for anyone to going through anything. Man, that's a lot

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Speaker 1: for you to go through. Brother, I mean, that's that's

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Speaker 1: a lot of trauma for you go through. How healed

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Speaker 1: would you say you are at this point? I'm healing.

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Speaker 1: I'm not healed. I'm I'm forever healing. Like it's like

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Speaker 1: I did an event last week actually with Dak Prescott,

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Speaker 1: he actually lost his brother's suicide in twenty twenty. You know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know we were asked a question like,

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Speaker 1: you know, does grief ever get easier? And like we

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Speaker 1: both answered them. We were like, no, one, grief does

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Speaker 1: not get easier. Like and it's just feeling like I

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Speaker 1: forever have like a whole in my heart, like I'll

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Speaker 1: keep living, I'll be okay, but my heart will never

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Speaker 1: be one hundred percent because I always have this part

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Speaker 1: of my heart that's missing an flow. But you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm healing each day by learning how to live for her,

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Speaker 1: learning how to attack mental health, learning how to tack suicide,

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Speaker 1: being my true authentic self and taking the things I

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Speaker 1: learned from mental health and applying to my life every

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Speaker 1: day and trying to be a leader in this realm,

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Speaker 1: trying to be a leader in the locker room, trying

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Speaker 1: to be the best person I can. But it's probably

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Speaker 1: on a perspective that I hadn't felt before that like

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Speaker 1: you know, hey, like so like I've had people died

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Speaker 1: my life before, but losing his sister was as different.

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Speaker 1: But folk up every single day and ounce or the

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Speaker 1: people have these vulnerable conversations with someone on the sidable talk,

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Speaker 1: be be real with them, let them know how you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Like these are the conversation that saved lives. Like the

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Speaker 1: most times, the most powerful conversations I've had it are

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Speaker 1: with people who have shared pain. But we didn't know

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Speaker 1: we shared the pain until we started talking. But to

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Speaker 1: that one one second, one risk of hope and one

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Speaker 1: I mean a risk of vulnerability to get to that conversation.

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Speaker 1: But that conversation might have saved either going to live

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Speaker 1: now that they're gonna go have a conversation or You're

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Speaker 1: gonna have a conversation, or I'm gonna have a conversation

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Speaker 1: with someone like this, It's very powerful. The more I've

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Speaker 1: opened up to people, it has got me closer to

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Speaker 1: every single one of those people I've gotten that I've

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Speaker 1: opened up to. And I hit it. I hit it

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Speaker 1: for a long time. I hit it for fifty one years.

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Speaker 1: You know, it used to be Glazers crazy, which is

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Speaker 1: a badge of honor and fighting in football, but they

387
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Speaker 1: didn't have much pain that was in right, and that

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Speaker 1: pain has now gotten a flock closer. I want people

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Speaker 1: really understand exactly the message you're putting out there. The

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Speaker 1: more you open up, it's not gonna push people away,

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Speaker 1: It's just gonna draw us closer together. It is, it is,

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Speaker 1: And you never know what someone's going through. You never

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Speaker 1: know the battles are going through in this life. We're

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Speaker 1: kind of taught like and this is what we're trying

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Speaker 1: to change, Like you and I liked, we're taught that,

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Speaker 1: you know, to put your baggage or your feelings like

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Speaker 1: someone else as a burden or we shouldn't do that.

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Speaker 1: But in reality, we're all probably going through more similar

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Speaker 1: things than we think we are. M Like, we're probably like,

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Speaker 1: especially as man like, we're probably feeling more sad than

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Speaker 1: we really saying we are, or more or more like.

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Speaker 1: This is kind of unknown because we don't have never

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Speaker 1: been taught how to handle certain emotions that we're feeling

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Speaker 1: in the day to day life as we get older, Like,

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Speaker 1: but when we open up and talk about them, we

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00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,679
Speaker 1: can connect there and then we can build off that

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00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,359
Speaker 1: and understand like, hey, Okay, no I'm not crazy, No

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Speaker 1: I'm not. We know he's feeling it too, and we

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Speaker 1: can have this conversation that we should all be having

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Speaker 1: some beings well, especially the goals with athletes. For anybody

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Speaker 1: who's high high performing a job wherever it is, you

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Speaker 1: gotta be fucked up going in, Right, we gotta have

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Speaker 1: some crazy to get on a certain level. Right, But

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Speaker 1: what do we do with that beast all of a sudden? Right,

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Speaker 1: So we gotta have it to get to where we are,

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Speaker 1: and then we gotta we gotta learn how to tain it,

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Speaker 1: live with it, and use it to an advantage, which

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Speaker 1: you're now we're just starting to talk about. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: because we can't be that that fucked up person all

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Speaker 1: the time. I can't. I can't be Solomon Thomast on

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Speaker 1: the field all the field, or you'll see my name

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Speaker 1: at the ticker at the bottom of the of the stream. Like,

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Speaker 1: we have to learn how to channel and control our emotions.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I feel like therapy is so important,

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Speaker 1: or learning about mental health or learning this about yourself

426
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 1: and your own feelings is so important so you can

427
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 1: control that and find ways to come back a center

428
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,960
Speaker 1: if your emotions high and or lower or I think

429
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 1: that's why these conversations and therapy and being able to

430
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 1: compartmentalize your feelings are so important, especially the work we're doing.

431
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,120
Speaker 1: It's we're still we're probably still decuate away from really

432
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 1: getting huge change because it's like people ask me all

433
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 1: the time, now, I need some help. We're gonna do

434
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 1: and I tell them all the time, Okay, first of all,

435
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 1: go get a therapist now, and yeah, ninety five percent

436
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 1: of those people go, oh, I can't, I can't afford,

437
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: I can't do or no, and I'm like, no, they're coaches.

438
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: They're coaches, you know, just like we would get a

439
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: coach for anything else. You know, we we think about it.

440
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: If you break your arm used to get people to

441
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 1: sign your cast, right, but if our hearts, our brains

442
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,439
Speaker 1: are we hide it. It doesn't make sense, right, we

443
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 1: got to flip this back and flip this script. But

444
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 1: the therapists the best thing we could do, and so

445
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 1: many people are still let's that's why these conversations so important,

446
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 1: so important, and like you said, like if I tore

447
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 1: my acl, I'm going to a surgeon or orthopedic surgeon.

448
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: It's like saying with your heart or your brain. Like

449
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 1: there's coaches out there forests and their their therapists, life coaches, psychologists,

450
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 1: whatever it is like, there's people out there forest because

451
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 1: you know there's between the mental health and physical health

452
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 1: is not much different. The body goes one on one. Um.

453
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: You know, if my brains hurted, my bodies man, my

454
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 1: body hurts, it's going to tell my brain something. So

455
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,239
Speaker 1: it's important to take care of your brain gets as

456
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: much a take care of your body, like you know.

457
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 1: And more I've gone on with this workout, I figured

458
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 1: out more and how it relates to sports and how

459
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 1: it's helped me get better at sports. How I can

460
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 1: completely find a way to be clear and peaceful up here.

461
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: My body moves faster and more fluid. Um. You know,

462
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: it's it's just sinking quicker. Like people don't understand that.

463
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 1: But the science of the body goes one on one.

464
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 1: So I like to try to call it the whole

465
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 1: health instead of this mental physical because then we can

466
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 1: understand it all goes together. I love that, I really

467
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: love and it's look for football players to NFL players.

468
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 1: The difference between somebody who plays in the NFL and doesn't.

469
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 1: I think it's all between the ears and then a

470
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 1: lot there's a lot of people out there benafest stronger

471
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 1: than you who haven't made between our ears, right, But

472
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,959
Speaker 1: it's you know, I talk to these teams like, oh,

473
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: you guys, don't just run forties when you think you

474
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 1: get slow, Like you're not just lifting when you think

475
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,239
Speaker 1: that all of a sudden, you're you know, your your

476
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: push isn'to strong, right, You're constantly doing it. You're being proactive.

477
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: But we only seek out help therapists after the sky

478
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: has fallen. Yeah, it's too late, right, So we need

479
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 1: to start doing that just as strong as we do

480
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 1: the physical stuff. Yeah, Like therapy should be should be

481
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: pro have, not read like we're not taught how to

482
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: deal with all the emotions of life. Like you know,

483
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 1: it's just life is a lot, Like there's a lot

484
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: of stuff that goes on for certain people, a lot

485
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 1: of adversities, a lot of ups and downs, and we're

486
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: not taught like an elementary school, middle high school. We're

487
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 1: not taught how to go through this Like I learned

488
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: most of it through sports, but then there was a

489
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: lot that I was still missing. I still need to

490
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 1: go to therapy to learn how to deal with emotions

491
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 1: and handle certain pains, handle certain things I had never

492
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: even felt before. But that's why I think, you know,

493
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 1: therapy is just so great because it's literally a life

494
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: coach teaching. It's how to deal with emotions that we

495
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,280
Speaker 1: are never taught before. When since you've come out, one

496
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: of the things I talked a lot about a lot

497
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: of being of service. I think of service is one

498
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: of my pillars to get me through my gray Have

499
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: you been able to see how much you've been of

500
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: service now? Like have you noticed like the number of

501
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 1: people you've helped, or you know, the people have come

502
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: over to you thanking you, like, oh, thanks for making

503
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: this okay? And has not been able to lift you up. Yeah,

504
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 1: you know I was. Actually I was with a for

505
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 1: another day. You're in DC, and you know she was

506
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 1: she was talking about you know, NFL players talking about

507
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: mental health, and you know, she said that that's a

508
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: reason because of you. And I originally like, no, like

509
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just you know, just talking doing my thing.

510
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: But she was like no, like you need to take

511
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: that credit, like you deserve that. And I started without

512
00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: a lot for a while because I'm like, I'm like,

513
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: I'm just doing work. I'm just telling my story, telling

514
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 1: my sister story, having my foundation that moving on. But

515
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 1: like I've really the last four years of my life,

516
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 1: I put all my dark secrets out bad, put all

517
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: my vulnerability out there. And I try to do it

518
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: because I know people out there struggling. I know there's

519
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 1: guys in the locker room we're hurting worse than I am,

520
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: and I want to find ways to get them to talk.

521
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 1: I want to find ways to help them out. And

522
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 1: it's changed, Like in the locker room guys that we

523
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: talk about mental health. Now we talk about finding ways

524
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: for therapy, even if they don't want to go to therapist,

525
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: finding someone to talk to a sports like card or

526
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: something like Dad Prescott speaking out you got you know,

527
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: you got some of the biggest names in sports talk

528
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: about mental health now like it is such like I

529
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: mean we've really changed, like what's going on here? And

530
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: then you know, I just think it's the beginning and

531
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: I think, you know, people, we're letting people be human,

532
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: and I think we need to continue to do that.

533
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: But you need to love yourself up for it. Yeah, absolutely,

534
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 1: and that's hard for us. I'll know screenshot messages someone

535
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: that says, man, thank you, you said my life for you,

536
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: empowerment you lived to me. And when I'm up like bravest,

537
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 1: I'll go back to those and say, Okay, Jay, you're

538
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: not such a piece of shit, Like look at what

539
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: you're doing and it's it's it's something I'm learning how

540
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 1: to learn how to love myself up right. And you also, man,

541
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: you really gotta you deserve to love yourself up for this. Man,

542
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, Jay, and so do you. And I'm

543
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: gonna steal that from you because those messages mean a lot.

544
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: And I've gotten a lot of fan mail, emails, dms

545
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 1: whatever it is telling me like what my sister's story

546
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: has done, What my story has done. And and like

547
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: you said, we des are going to love ourselves and

548
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: so do you. And I'm proud of you and everything

549
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 1: you've done. Appreciate you, and think about this. There's the

550
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 1: messages we get. Think about the messages we don't get.

551
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: How many people I think you've helped out, people that

552
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: you saved. There are people out there who've paid it

553
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: forward to others, and you just, yeah, you don't know

554
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 1: how many people you're gonna end up saving that. But

555
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,360
Speaker 1: we say, if it's one, that's a great life for you.

556
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 1: And it's been a lot more than one for you.

557
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: I'm really really proud of you. Brother. I'm proud of

558
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: you too because I know it's been way more than

559
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 1: one too. No, I appreciate that. Man, give us one

560
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,160
Speaker 1: one last thing here on your on your foundation where

561
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: people can find help with it, and let's let's bump

562
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: it out there a little bit more. Yea, So definitely. Yeah.

563
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: So foundations called the Defensive Line. You can find us

564
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 1: at the Defensive Line dot Org going around trying to help,

565
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: you know, like really focusing in school with businesses and

566
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: sports programs, really just trying to create safe mental environments,

567
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 1: teach everyone, how to look for warning signs, how to

568
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 1: deal with christ situations, how to have an action plan.

569
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,199
Speaker 1: Really just trying to get them awareness and education out

570
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 1: there so we can deal with these things. These are

571
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: things we're not taught, you know. And my big motivation

572
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: it was of getting to the mentors was because when

573
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: I when I was at school in high school, all day,

574
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: I wasn't around my parents. I was around my friend,

575
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: I was around my teachers, so they saw my behavior changes.

576
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: At home, I was just I was fried. So I

577
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm burnt out for the day. I

578
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:45,959
Speaker 1: It's gonna play with a new games, do a home,

579
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: or go to sleep. My parents that see that. So

580
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: we're trying to teach everyone to be able to be

581
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: a safe place for everyone around and so we can

582
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 1: create this environment where everyone can just be themselves. I

583
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: love that, man, It's that's the thing. To give us

584
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: a safe place is that's a new thing for all

585
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: of us. And that's beautiful, beautiful. I appreciate ja. Last

586
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: question here, give me your unbreakable moment. And what I

587
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: mean by that is, man, something that could and you

588
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: might have already talked about it, something that could have

589
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: broken you and didn't, and you came through the other

590
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 1: side of that tunnel. As a result, you're stronger for it,

591
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 1: and you could use that as your currency for the

592
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: rest of your life. My unbreakable momentum, I would say, Um,

593
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 1: I've already said it. I mean, losing my sisters was

594
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 1: definitely my unbreakable I was going to use turn my

595
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 1: icy out. But I mean, really, I really could have

596
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: gone one of two ways after losing Ella. I could

597
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 1: have gone down and been down forever. But you know,

598
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: I really, I really have just bought into this work.

599
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: I've really seen how it affects our people in this road.

600
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: I cannot affect myself and people like myself in this league.

601
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: We needed. We have so much work to do, and

602
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: you know, it's just that was my moment work really

603
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 1: was like, hey, like I need to break I'm going

604
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: to break through this. And once I saw and broke

605
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: through it, like I was like, Wow, there's a lot

606
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: of work through. There's a lot more unbreakable moments coming

607
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: up for a lot of people. So that was kind

608
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 1: on my mom and I love it. Man, dude, I'm Friday. Hey,

609
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 1: we're brothers and soul now, Man, Yes, I have a

610
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 1: lot of work to do together. Man, I'm gonna make

611
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: sure we get each other's number, and you know, definitely

612
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: you got a teammate you can turn to when those

613
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: roommates are we're starting to bark to you, man, I'll

614
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: do the same with you, yes, sir, Yeah, No, I'm

615
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: here for you as well. Jay. I appreciate that. Friday Brother,

616
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: thank you so much. But I'm really proud of work

617
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: you're doing again. Start loving yourself out, man, try to

618
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 1: walk this walk together. Yes, sir, me too. I appreciate it. Jay,

619
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: thank you for the platform, Sally, you got, buddy,