Speaker 1: What don't you want to pass on to your kids? Trauma?
Speaker 1: Culturally More Better, More, More.
Speaker 2: Better, More Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we
Speaker 2: stop pretending to have it all together and embrace the
Speaker 2: journey of becoming a little more better every day we're.
Speaker 1: At least trying to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's most FAMO and that's Stephanie Beatrice.
Speaker 4: Hi, welcome back.
Speaker 1: Yeah baby, how are you doing? You know?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Well, I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay.
Speaker 3: I think I'm a little like you know, we're recording
Speaker 3: this on a Monday, and it's that Monday feeling of
Speaker 3: the weekend was a whirlwind of just kid insanity and
Speaker 3: Monday I always feel like a little like a hangover,
Speaker 3: a kid hangover.
Speaker 1: Like that's a really good way to put it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how are you? I feel similarly?
Speaker 5: I mean, I I don't know what to call it,
Speaker 5: but I had like a really down day yesterday where
Speaker 5: I was like, h and I really I was leaning
Speaker 5: on Brad a lot, like I got I got Ras
Speaker 5: up and I did stuff with her and then I
Speaker 5: was like, hey, man, I need to go in my
Speaker 5: bedroom and hide. Can you please do the majority of
Speaker 5: this today? And God bless him. He did, and my
Speaker 5: sister helped too, but like I just couldn't. I couldn't
Speaker 5: hack it, man, I couldn't hack it. And it made
Speaker 5: me think, like, you know, on one hand, I'm so
Speaker 5: grateful for a partner that a partner, and a sister,
Speaker 5: a family that is ready to kind of like, you know,
Speaker 5: pick up I not not pick up the slack, but
Speaker 5: like catch me or support me when I'm down, support you.
Speaker 5: But also I have like all these guilty feelings of
Speaker 5: like what about like single moms and like people that
Speaker 5: don't have anybody else to depend on, and like what
Speaker 5: are they doing when they're sad? And like I can't
Speaker 5: believe I'm in bed right now watching Sex in the City.
Speaker 3: I'm so sad, Like I do, you know, I get
Speaker 3: I think we all do that, But I think that
Speaker 3: also if you are able, and you have a village
Speaker 3: or you have community, like you know, you gotta put
Speaker 3: your you gotta put your mask on for your your
Speaker 3: oxygen mask on first.
Speaker 5: So what you're saying is it's okay for me to
Speaker 5: watch Sex and the City for days on end and
Speaker 5: just ignore my chidler completely days.
Speaker 1: Carb Garblus. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: I don't ignore my child's No, I know you don't actually,
Speaker 3: but you were just taking care of yourself and her.
Speaker 5: Also, yeah, I don't even know what was wrong with me, Like,
Speaker 5: I guess you're just something to.
Speaker 1: Do in therapy. I was just having a hard day.
Speaker 4: You're just having a hard day.
Speaker 5: Well, okay, so now I'm gonna ask you, what have
Speaker 5: you done lately that's more better?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: Burt for my smoothie, which is something I've been my
Speaker 3: more better. I'm good, Monday reset. I'm trying to, like,
Speaker 3: you know, I've been really busy and all over the
Speaker 3: place and scattered, so like I worked out this morning
Speaker 3: and I made my smoothie that I love. I'm trying
Speaker 3: to like get get back in the routine, you know, like,
Speaker 3: oh my Monday reset.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Monday Reset. That's what I've that's my more better.
Speaker 1: What have you done lately? It's more better?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna copy you. I'm gonna copy you. Yeah, because sometimes
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 3: Said, listen, sometimes every single Monday is a Monday Reset.
Speaker 4: And that's just how it goes.
Speaker 1: Real talk, that's real, that's really real.
Speaker 3: But it helps me to just be like whatever, it's fine.
Speaker 3: What everything you just did is fine? Just Monday reset, Like,
Speaker 3: let's just commit to get back in the routine for
Speaker 3: the week.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh my god, I'm copying you. Yeah, I am
Speaker 1: going to copy you. That's so good. What was my
Speaker 1: more better?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: I'm flossing? Yes, I am such a lazy like girl
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Should we do an episode on how to be more
Speaker 3: better a dental because we could struggle?
Speaker 1: Is you are shared dentist? We share a dentist.
Speaker 3: You guys share a dentist? More better?
Speaker 1: Anyway?
Speaker 5: More better at dental care with Stephanie Molson. That's not
Speaker 5: what we're talking about today. Actually, today's episode, we're talking
Speaker 5: about sharing your culture with your kids. If you don't
Speaker 5: have kids, this can also be for you if you're
Speaker 5: like I want to share my culture with my friends.
Speaker 1: With my chosen family. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So it's like about keeping kind of like touchstones of
Speaker 5: your culture in your life and how you do it.
Speaker 1: Are you doing it? Do you want to do it more?
Speaker 5: Do you feel like I totally have that down and
Speaker 5: you just want to run this episode off?
Speaker 4: Please?
Speaker 5: Don't, like, you know, I think one of the things
Speaker 5: that I think about a lot is like, how do
Speaker 5: I do that?
Speaker 1: Because for me.
Speaker 5: I assimilated, like my parents wanted me to assimilate in
Speaker 5: you know, for purposes of this conversation, we'll call it
Speaker 5: like American culture. And they didn't want us to speak Spanish.
Speaker 5: They wanted us to you know, be like I even
Speaker 5: wanted to assimilate. I remember going to school, I'm seeing
Speaker 5: everybody's lunches and specifically wanting lunches that looked like the
Speaker 5: other kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that, but like, you.
Speaker 3: Know, how how how I grew up and like how
Speaker 3: embracing parts of my culture didn't come until honestly until
Speaker 3: I was like in college, late high school college. I
Speaker 3: just want that journey to be different for my kid
Speaker 3: and my family.
Speaker 1: You know what about you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, similarly that pressure to assimilate.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: The story in our family is when my brother was
Speaker 3: really young, like first grade or kindergarten, the teacher called
Speaker 3: my parents in and this is in the eighties and
Speaker 3: ask them what they were speaking at home, and they
Speaker 3: said Spanish and they said, hmm, it's really messing him
Speaker 3: up because my brother was saying things like give me
Speaker 3: low and tekel and like he was, you know, just
Speaker 3: he was speaking Spanglish basically. And you know, I feel
Speaker 3: like now there's a lot more awareness and education about
Speaker 3: like that always just evens out and kids like, you know,
Speaker 3: just become bilingual and it's not a big deal. And
Speaker 3: there are speech delays sometimes when you are teaching two languages,
Speaker 3: like you know, back then it was just like ooh,
Speaker 3: and and like my parents got scared, so they didn't
Speaker 3: stop speaking Spanish to us, but they stopped making us
Speaker 3: respond in Spanish. So I grew up with a like
Speaker 3: bilingual brain where I've always been able to like understand
Speaker 3: Spanish pretty fluently, but.
Speaker 1: It's like not in my it's not in my mouth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like that's like my sister, like the connection is
Speaker 3: broken and it's like gone better. And I've worked on
Speaker 3: you know, and it's like I get on these like
Speaker 3: ruts of like working on it a lot and it
Speaker 3: gets a lot better and then I lose it, and
Speaker 3: you know, it's like a very up and down thing.
Speaker 3: But but yeah, so I think and what you said
Speaker 3: about like food too, I think I remember you know,
Speaker 3: asking more for like ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch
Speaker 3: or you know, and and things like that. And and
Speaker 3: I grew up in It's town with a lot of
Speaker 3: Italians and happened to have the maiden name Gallo, which
Speaker 3: kind of let me blend in because Italians sort of
Speaker 3: look like Latin anyone, you know, sometimes sometimes they do
Speaker 3: some you know, and uh so I I remember being
Speaker 3: conscious of like, oh, I could just like.
Speaker 1: Blend it.
Speaker 3: I don't have to like tell anybody that I'm.
Speaker 1: I don't have to be me.
Speaker 3: I could just be like I could just like like
Speaker 3: a hide a little bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But also there were a lot of kids with like
Speaker 3: immigrant parents or grandparents, so I also didn't feel like
Speaker 3: too two othered and innocence too. I think I also
Speaker 3: got lucky with the particular group of friends that I
Speaker 3: grew up with. But but yeah, it's it's definitely and
Speaker 3: I think it's also uh different. I think a lot
Speaker 3: about how I was like the child of immigrants and
Speaker 3: how different that is for my kids who are second.
Speaker 1: Gen you know. And I just feel like it was so.
Speaker 3: Much more kind of in my everyday life than it
Speaker 3: is necessarily for me.
Speaker 1: Now does that make sense?
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, because like you, your parents came to the
Speaker 5: US when they were teenage teenagers, right, yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 5: they are already like they had established lives there in Cuba,
Speaker 5: and yeah, established way of life, established like attitudes and
Speaker 5: values and beliefs, and you know, even down to like
Speaker 5: the art around them and like the feeling of where
Speaker 5: they grew up and the habits of the people and
Speaker 5: like all that stuff was like already kind of like established.
Speaker 1: And then they moved, so that was already part of them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they were, Yeah, they had to start over
Speaker 3: here and high school or early high school, and yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, there was a lot of
Speaker 3: Caribbean art in our house, and like, you know, there
Speaker 3: was a lot of you know, I mean, my parents
Speaker 3: loved music, so there was you know, Glorious Stevon and
Speaker 3: Tony Bennett and and like Frank Sinatra and also Celia
Speaker 3: Cruz were like, oh that's like what was always playing.
Speaker 3: It was a very yeah, like spanglish mixed kind of house.
Speaker 3: But they definitely, I think felt pressure to assimilate.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a lot of immigrants feel that way.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They don't want to be targeted, you know, like they
Speaker 3: don't want to feel like they're targeted for being different. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and they want things to be easier for their kids
Speaker 3: than for them.
Speaker 1: Hmm, that's very real.
Speaker 3: What was it, Well, you came when you were three.
Speaker 1: Two, I was too to redress.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, so yeah, even so more so for your
Speaker 3: parents because they were like full adults, they were families,
Speaker 3: all adults, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: They were grown ups and you know, coming to a
Speaker 1: new world basically with like.
Speaker 5: Both of them could speak English, but they have and
Speaker 5: still do. My mother's accent is you know, it's thick,
Speaker 5: and yeah, my father's was to you know, like I
Speaker 5: think for them they really wanted us to it was
Speaker 5: it was about assimilating.
Speaker 1: And also for them, it was about achieving. So it
Speaker 1: was like.
Speaker 5: A straight a's nothing, but you can't come home with
Speaker 5: a bee. Like if you come home with a bee,
Speaker 5: it's hell is going to come down on you, like it.
Speaker 5: And it was just like palpable, like you have to
Speaker 5: be it has to be like ninety eight or above.
Speaker 5: You've got to succeed at everything that you do. If
Speaker 5: you don't, then what are we doing? Just pick something
Speaker 5: else to be good at, you know. But I think
Speaker 5: that was a lot of like trying to protect us,
Speaker 5: me and my sister. Yeah, and like what was interesting
Speaker 5: about the time that they came and we moved to Texas,
Speaker 5: So like it was really it was my mom really
Speaker 5: found a community within her church, and she found a
Speaker 5: lot of Latinos, but they were from all over, so
Speaker 5: like some of her friends were Watermelon, some of her
Speaker 5: friends were Mexicans, some of her friends were Portuguese, some
Speaker 5: of her friends were Brazilian, some of her friends were
Speaker 5: this that the other, right, and like they were all immigrants,
Speaker 5: and they had almost all of them were immigrants, and
Speaker 5: then some of them were born and raised in Texas,
Speaker 5: but they were, you know, they were really connected to
Speaker 5: their Mexican culture. So like I think overall, when I
Speaker 5: was a kid, it was really Mexican culture that I.
Speaker 1: Saw and felt a lot of.
Speaker 5: And consequently, I still feel really connected to Mexican culture,
Speaker 5: even though technically I'm not Mexican at all, but right,
Speaker 5: I just feel that way, and I feel a lot
Speaker 5: of like like when I see the Mexican flag, I
Speaker 5: feel pride about it even though I'm not from Mexico. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it doesn't matter because because I grew up in Texas
Speaker 5: and like Texas used to being borderw Mexico, and like
Speaker 5: I just feel connected.
Speaker 4: I get that.
Speaker 3: I relate to that because like there's a lot of
Speaker 3: Puerto Ricans and Dominican like Caribbean Latinos where I grew
Speaker 3: up and like, and I've been to those places, and
Speaker 3: I feel that same kind of feeling with Puerto Rican
Speaker 3: culture Dominican culture.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's like like.
Speaker 5: This is so cheesy, but like it's like that song
Speaker 5: and in the Heights where like everybody's like flying their
Speaker 5: own flash, they all still really feel connected, yes to
Speaker 5: their culture and they're proud of each other, and they're
Speaker 5: just singing like about how much they love their countries
Speaker 5: even though they're not there. They have family there or whatever,
Speaker 5: like tradition and roots, you know. Like I don't know,
Speaker 5: I remember being we were when we were shooting in
Speaker 5: the Heights. When we were shooting that song was like
Speaker 5: two days outside.
Speaker 1: I think love scene so much.
Speaker 5: My god, the middle of summer, the middle of summer,
Speaker 5: like we're melting, melting hot and soup and me I
Speaker 5: was like, I want like all the hair pieces for
Speaker 5: this job, Like I want like in every scene, I
Speaker 5: want to have like a wild hair dude, just like
Speaker 5: to put as much hair in there as you possibly can. Meanwhile,
Speaker 5: we're dancing outside and it's like one hundred degrees and I.
Speaker 1: Have like life hair on my head myself you know
Speaker 1: what it looked? Good girl, Okay, look and look good.
Speaker 3: Thank you more.
Speaker 5: Consequently, like one of the things that I want to
Speaker 5: do as a parent is.
Speaker 1: You know, ros is Uh.
Speaker 5: She's growing up with a mom who's Colombian oblivion and
Speaker 5: a dad who his family's been in the United States
Speaker 5: for quite a while. You know, they were Eastern European,
Speaker 5: but they've been here much longer than my family, right,
Speaker 5: And so I'm trying to find what can be And
Speaker 5: she's just still little, but I'm like trying to introduce
Speaker 5: these like new traditions in our family. Like at Christmas time,
Speaker 5: we make to Molly's and she helps. There's this great
Speaker 5: book called Too Many to Mally's that's really really cute.
Speaker 5: We read it at Christmas time and then we make
Speaker 5: to Molly's and she asks to read for read it
Speaker 5: again and again.
Speaker 1: But we also make Parrogi's because that's part of my
Speaker 1: husband's culture.
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to do both things through food, because
Speaker 5: food is so celebratory, right, and it's such an easy
Speaker 5: kind of in to culture. And I also find that
Speaker 5: there's like story around it, which is why I was
Speaker 5: psyched when I found that book that too many Tomali's book. Yeah,
Speaker 5: because in the book there's so many pictures of her
Speaker 5: and her primos and like her family all coming together
Speaker 5: at Christmas time, and like there's so much story jumping
Speaker 5: off points that I can have from her starting to
Speaker 5: make Tamalai's as a kid, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love that. It makes me want to
Speaker 1: look like a Goodchouena book.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm sure there's like a million. I'm sure
Speaker 3: there's like a million. I just haven't had the idea
Speaker 3: to look.
Speaker 1: Is that something that you guys celebrate wanna Yeah? Yeah
Speaker 1: yeah growing up?
Speaker 3: So it's like a little bittersweet for me because growing
Speaker 3: up it is a tradition that's been passed on in Cuba.
Speaker 3: They used to gather at my mom's grandmother's house and
Speaker 3: it was all the cousins and I guess the house
Speaker 3: was like on the bigger side the way my mom
Speaker 3: describes it, but like she also is like we all
Speaker 3: like piled in, like we all slept in the living
Speaker 3: room together, like oh my kids on the floor, like
Speaker 3: everybody would sleep over, and she also like talked about
Speaker 3: her grandmother would like go outside to like kill the
Speaker 3: pig that morning.
Speaker 4: That was one tradition.
Speaker 5: Like she would go outside with my like you're planning
Speaker 5: on doing in your life and you.
Speaker 3: Want to with a hammer, like That's how the festivities started.
Speaker 1: That day, and all the kids would be like, isn't.
Speaker 4: It so intense?
Speaker 3: And my mom was like no, but like we just
Speaker 3: like all ran outside screaming and laughing like it was.
Speaker 3: You know, I was like, oh my god, that's icy.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: So then sorry to the vegans, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 3: this is Cuba. So and then when my parents got
Speaker 3: their first house in New Jersey, they started doing the
Speaker 3: same thing, having all of our cousins from New York
Speaker 3: come over every Christmas Eve, and uh, my.
Speaker 1: Mom would make most of the food.
Speaker 3: Well she would take like the pig to get it
Speaker 3: done that you're a Cuban bakery, she would she would
Speaker 3: do it. She would prep it and then she would
Speaker 3: take it to get cooked and then they'd pick it
Speaker 3: up for dinner. Oh and my my ideas would bring
Speaker 3: the black beans, and you know, somebody would bring the yuka.
Speaker 3: It's always yuka black beans, rice pork and plantains.
Speaker 1: That's Christmas Eve dinner.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so every Christmas Eve was like thirty of
Speaker 3: my cousins at my parents' house and we'd have a
Speaker 3: party and we'd have dinner and exchange gifts and it
Speaker 3: was amazing and we all.
Speaker 1: Like miss it so much.
Speaker 3: So I always have like guilt in me that, like
Speaker 3: my kids aren't getting that because we live in California,
Speaker 3: and also the family is like, you know, my parents
Speaker 3: have retired and moved away and like some people have
Speaker 3: like spread out a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do make that meal.
Speaker 3: And I do make the Christmas cookies that I used
Speaker 3: to make with my mom when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what I say Now.
Speaker 5: They're just little butter cookies. But they're so fucking good.
Speaker 5: This recipe is so easy. You have to share the recipes.
Speaker 3: I'll share the recipe, we'll put it on Instagram. And
Speaker 3: it's so fucking good.
Speaker 1: And and then.
Speaker 3: And they're just and I use like a cookie press,
Speaker 3: you know, it's like those kind of cookies.
Speaker 1: So you gell me like a lot.
Speaker 3: I make them for like my kids teachers now. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I am very I feel very strongly about like keeping
Speaker 3: that nocha Winna, like you know that we have that
Speaker 3: meal and we make those cookies and we all sit
Speaker 3: down and we decorate. You know. That's another one too.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's been a tradition. It's like I
Speaker 3: decorate with the kids. I feel like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: yeah yeah, like involving them in it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's kosher or not.
Speaker 5: But the the little corner store over here by where
Speaker 5: I live has Christmasao and we put it up last year,
Speaker 5: and Ro's freaking loves picado. She freaking loves it.
Speaker 4: Wait.
Speaker 1: I don't know what picado.
Speaker 5: Is, buttle picado is usually at uh Day for David dead.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah paper that Ida know that's
Speaker 5: what it was called. Yes, yeah, picado And that's very
Speaker 5: I don't know if that's Mexican at all. I mean
Speaker 5: I think it's just Mexican. I'm not sure I could
Speaker 5: google it. I will maybe maybe Isis could google that
Speaker 5: while I'm talking, so I don't sund like I'm talking
Speaker 5: out my ass, but like, yeah, decorating is a big
Speaker 5: one for us on at Christmas time. No, what'd you
Speaker 5: find about picado?
Speaker 6: I googled picallo. Yeah, it is originated from Mexico. It's
Speaker 6: a Mexican folk art. The tradition of using pupp and
Speaker 6: picado originates practice. This is why the Aztecs the aztext
Speaker 6: covered a dark textile called amatal with melted rubber and
Speaker 6: painted on it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so cool. That's so I love it.
Speaker 1: I think it's so beautiful.
Speaker 5: I love I love like the very intricate hand done stuff,
Speaker 5: and I love the plastic stuff that I can get
Speaker 5: at the corner store and we hang it, we hang
Speaker 5: it at the other those We usually keep it up
Speaker 5: for a while and then we switch it out for
Speaker 5: the Christmas colored ones. And I don't know, I just
Speaker 5: love having it around at Christmas time because it makes
Speaker 5: me again, I think it makes me feel connected to
Speaker 5: Mexican culture.
Speaker 3: I think I might steal that too, Steph and like
Speaker 3: it's and add it to our Christmas decorations next year,
Speaker 3: because just living in Los Angeles, my kids have a
Speaker 3: connection to Mexican culture because.
Speaker 1: It's exactly yeah, mm hmm, exactly exactly that did you
Speaker 1: do anything on Christmas Day?
Speaker 3: Because we hilariously like did nothing on Christmas Day? Ever,
Speaker 3: we ate we went to the movies and ate Chinese food.
Speaker 3: That was we went to the movies, went to the
Speaker 3: movies and ate Chinese food. And I and I have
Speaker 3: started to do that too. I've started to get Chinese
Speaker 3: food on Christmas Day, Bro, that is I okay.
Speaker 5: So I'm trying to get Brad, my husband, Brad, to
Speaker 5: understand movies on Christmas Day and he does not get it.
Speaker 1: He's like, Christmas Day isn't for that. I'm like that
Speaker 1: this is the day for that.
Speaker 5: They together, everybody's like the grown ups are kind of hungover.
Speaker 1: Everyone's food hungover.
Speaker 5: You want to do anything, You open presence, you kind
Speaker 5: of clean it up, then you go to the movies.
Speaker 1: Yes, that is that is a I mean that's I'll
Speaker 1: talk to him.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah. What about New Year's did you guys
Speaker 3: do any of the lat my god, do you do
Speaker 3: a lot of them?
Speaker 1: We did. We had to wear yellow underwear or new underwear.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 5: We did the twelve grapes at midnight. That's what we
Speaker 5: always did. Twelve grapes. Got to eat the twelve grapes
Speaker 5: for good luck? Where did the grapes come from? Listen
Speaker 5: to us, we're having this. I mean, this is part
Speaker 5: of why we're having this discussion, you guys, because like, well, that's.
Speaker 1: The thing though about traditions is sometimes you just do
Speaker 1: them and you don't.
Speaker 4: You just do it.
Speaker 3: I always told the twelve grapes were for good luck,
Speaker 3: for the new year.
Speaker 5: That's what my one month, one for every month. Yes,
Speaker 5: and you're supposed to eat them as fast as possible, yes.
Speaker 3: Without choking. We did, which is scary, which I never
Speaker 3: thought about. What I started to do with my kids.
Speaker 3: I was like, the first time, I think, let me
Speaker 3: cut them in half, let me cut them, let me cut.
Speaker 4: Them in joke.
Speaker 5: I think last year was your parents were like, just
Speaker 5: eat them off the vine, just don't worry, don't even them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just shove them in your mouth.
Speaker 3: And we did it last year for the first time
Speaker 3: because last year was the first time my kids could
Speaker 3: stay up until nine because in Los Angeles we do
Speaker 3: New York New Year's Eve.
Speaker 4: At nine o'clock.
Speaker 1: Oh cute, you like that's what we did this year.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you put the New York feed on and at
Speaker 3: nine o'clock you can like, do you know, Happy New Year?
Speaker 3: Because there's my kids are too little to they won't
Speaker 3: make it till midnight. And and yeah, I gave them
Speaker 3: the grades and I was so excited, and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, you can't eat them, miss fast again.
Speaker 3: As they started putting them in mouth, I was like, no, wait,
Speaker 3: just spill it out.
Speaker 4: I think many.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be fast, just do one at
Speaker 3: a time.
Speaker 1: See, you know, you have to adjust the traditions for
Speaker 1: your own family, you do.
Speaker 5: I think there's a lot of stuff that like I
Speaker 5: want to try with her, you know, it's like try
Speaker 5: and see what sticks. And because again, like I didn't
Speaker 5: grow up with a ton of this stuff. I mean
Speaker 5: was a big one in our house, but I didn't.
Speaker 5: I wasn't. I think my parents did their absolute best,
Speaker 5: and I think they had a lot on their plates,
Speaker 5: and I think like those kind of things weren't always
Speaker 5: at the forefront of their mind, oh, trying.
Speaker 3: To make sure that culturally I had a touchdown. They
Speaker 3: were just trying to make it day to day, you know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So when I think about now, I want to
Speaker 5: I want to give my kid that stuff because if
Speaker 5: I don't give it to her, you know, like if
Speaker 5: I don't teach her the language or at least give
Speaker 5: her like the choice to learn it, you know, or
Speaker 5: like the experience of traveling to Colombia, if we can,
Speaker 5: to Bolivia, if we can, the experience of like making
Speaker 5: those cultural connections. If I don't help her build those bridges,
Speaker 5: it's going to be a lot harder for her to
Speaker 5: build them on her own later.
Speaker 3: And I think our parents just being who they are
Speaker 3: so much was passed on to us just kind of
Speaker 3: without them trying, you know, because it was I think
Speaker 3: culture also extends to like I don't know, like you
Speaker 3: know your values and your point of view and you know,
Speaker 3: and obviously it's like holidays and it's food and it's music,
Speaker 3: Like those are the more kind of I think surface
Speaker 3: ones that are the maybe the loudest, but yeah, I
Speaker 3: think it comes, you know, I see it and just yeah,
Speaker 3: like I'm I'm I'm big on like like manners and respect,
Speaker 3: and I think that that's.
Speaker 4: Right Latino thing.
Speaker 3: Like I remember there was this one video someone sent me.
Speaker 3: It was like on Instagram or TikTok or something, and
Speaker 3: it was you know those princesses you can hire for
Speaker 3: like a birthday party, and so it was like one
Speaker 3: of those women that was in her like princess outfit
Speaker 3: in her car and she goes, I just want to
Speaker 3: like give props to like all the Latino families because
Speaker 3: every time I work at a Latino family party, those
Speaker 3: kids are so respectful.
Speaker 5: You.
Speaker 3: She was like, look at this plate of food. They
Speaker 3: sent me home with this delicious food. They always set
Speaker 3: me home with food. They always like, you know, ask
Speaker 3: me if I need a break. They treat me like
Speaker 3: I'm part of the.
Speaker 4: Family when I come in, you know.
Speaker 3: And I felt such pride watching that video and also
Speaker 3: just like yeah, I want you know, and I try
Speaker 3: to be really conscious of that of like, you know,
Speaker 3: when people are at my house, I'm very like you know,
Speaker 3: like like I like I play hostess, but I'm also
Speaker 3: like if you need because this is how my mom was,
Speaker 3: like Mikasa Sukasa, like if you need something from the fridge,
Speaker 3: go get something from the fridge, like you know, if
Speaker 3: you you don't like be comfortable be at home like
Speaker 3: I you know, don't like you're not a guest, you know,
Speaker 3: like you're a part of the family.
Speaker 1: And you know, I burn my head my mom going almost.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, like like don't be rude, like don't
Speaker 7: be hello, say lo say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye,
Speaker 7: and thank you before you leave.
Speaker 3: That was another big one. I remember as an adult
Speaker 3: being at a rap party for I think the soap
Speaker 3: I was on, and somebody from that show came up
Speaker 3: to me like the next day at work or whatever
Speaker 3: or the next time I saw it, and they were like,
Speaker 3: you are the only person I know who like intentionally
Speaker 3: goes around the room to say bye to like almost
Speaker 3: everybody before you leave. And I think that that's so polite.
Speaker 3: And I was just like it was so automatic for
Speaker 3: me because that was so like ingrained from my parents.
Speaker 3: And they were like, I just appreciate it. It's so nice.
Speaker 3: And I was like oh, and I'm like felt really good.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 3: Like so now I think about it things with my
Speaker 3: kids of just like very respectful.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Meanwhile, I'm like, oh bye, Like I bounce out of
Speaker 5: parties without saying goodbye because it stresses me out, just
Speaker 5: like good.
Speaker 1: Bye to people. Oh yeah, I mean I think that's
Speaker 1: fine too.
Speaker 5: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. More better what Okay?
Speaker 5: So we talked a lot about stuff that we do
Speaker 5: want to pass on. What don't you want to pass
Speaker 5: on to your kids trauma culturally.
Speaker 4: Oion, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: But you know what it's also like sometimes I'm a
Speaker 3: little on the not on the fence about it. Let
Speaker 3: me explain, but I feel like I you know, I'm
Speaker 3: Cuban obviously, the way my family came here, the way
Speaker 3: my husband's also a Cuban, the way his family came
Speaker 3: here is surrounded with a lot of trauma. You know,
Speaker 3: with a cousin who was a Peter Pankid came on
Speaker 3: a plane by herself, didn't see her parents for five years.
Speaker 3: Like there was a lot of crazy stories I grew
Speaker 3: up around, and uh, the positive thing that those stories
Speaker 3: gave me, I think was like ambition and drive and
Speaker 3: like and being really grateful and having kind of this
Speaker 3: perspective of like kind of how good I have it?
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Like there is there is that like joke about like
Speaker 3: when you're an immigrant, a child of immigrants, like it's
Speaker 3: really hard to complain about anything, you know, like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, today it was so hard? Oh was today hard?
Speaker 4: Did you have to flee your country?
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everything got And that definitely that happened to me
Speaker 3: a lot, which is another complicated thing. But you know,
Speaker 3: but then there are times where you see, like, oh,
Speaker 3: I think this did make me like stronger. I think
Speaker 3: this gift date did give me this kind of uph
Speaker 3: you know. But yeah, but I definitely, I don't know.
Speaker 3: It'll be interesting, you know, for my kids to kind
Speaker 3: of when they're older, obviously, Uh, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 3: curious and like learning about that will give them the
Speaker 3: same sort of shift in perspective or you know, I
Speaker 3: also have the privilege of telling them older and they're
Speaker 3: not just like surrounded by it too, which is something
Speaker 3: I recognize.
Speaker 4: You know. I get to choose when they learn about that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think that that's really important for them,
Speaker 5: you know, to hear like where they come from, Like
Speaker 5: what were the steps that got them here? You know,
Speaker 5: because like that is a part of I mean, that's
Speaker 5: a part of family tradition in a weird way, it's.
Speaker 1: Like what where are your roots? Where where are you from?
Speaker 5: Like how you know, like how are all the parts
Speaker 5: of you connected and built?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 5: And that goes for like I think any any any
Speaker 5: anybody right, Like I want to know about myself.
Speaker 3: I want to know how the parts of me and
Speaker 3: I want to introduce like parts of that to my
Speaker 3: friends and my partner that have that experience. You know, yeah,
Speaker 3: are there any parts of your culture that you are
Speaker 3: that you don't want to pass on trauma?
Speaker 5: I think for a lot of us it's trauma. Particularly
Speaker 5: it's like you know that, I mean, this is a
Speaker 5: very generalized thing to say, and please forgive me audience,
Speaker 5: but you know, we've all seen the stereotypical like Latinos
Speaker 5: are passionate in their fiery and ye and like listen,
Speaker 5: we could get into a big conversation about that. But
Speaker 5: what I know to be true about my own family
Speaker 5: was that communication was life with a lot of like.
Speaker 1: Explosion.
Speaker 3: And I think, you know, my parents did their best,
Speaker 3: but I don't know that they always knew how to
Speaker 3: communicate in the healthiest and kindest ways.
Speaker 5: And like you pick up on that as a kid,
Speaker 5: you go, oh, well, I guess this is normal. This
Speaker 5: is how it is when you're married, or how how
Speaker 5: you talk to people, or you know, And I think
Speaker 5: that there was also an element of them being really afraid.
Speaker 5: I think one of the things that I'm trying to
Speaker 5: figure out as a parent and honestly as a person
Speaker 5: is like how do I approach things with less fear
Speaker 5: and how do I approach things with like more communicativeness,
Speaker 5: especially when I'm mad, So that I just like exploding,
Speaker 5: you know, in a way that like I grew up
Speaker 5: where like the explosion was just like kind of the norm,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to explode. I want to like
Speaker 1: take a breath.
Speaker 5: I want to, you know, if I have to, I
Speaker 5: want to leave the room if I have to, I
Speaker 5: want to say I can't talk about this with you
Speaker 5: right now. I need to just take a step back
Speaker 5: whatever however I do it. So that's the kind of
Speaker 5: stuff that like those are honestly, some of them are
Speaker 5: like traditions in my family because I grew up around
Speaker 5: it and they grew up around it, and like I
Speaker 5: want to.
Speaker 3: End some of that stuff. Yeah, break the cycle.
Speaker 5: Yeah that's like a that's a very fancy way to say,
Speaker 5: like don't yell at your kid.
Speaker 1: I don't want to yell my kid. I don't really
Speaker 1: want to yell my kid.
Speaker 3: The only time I've ever like really raised my voice
Speaker 3: at Roz is like she's like climbing on the stairwell,
Speaker 3: like you know.
Speaker 5: Stair Sometimes we just kind of like, hey, yeah, you know, yeah,
Speaker 5: but I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not of the I just don't want to I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I have it be.
Speaker 3: The normal, all the all the time way, but it
Speaker 3: doesn't work.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh you know what I mean, Like like if
Speaker 5: I were to yell like she's climbing down off of
Speaker 5: that staircase thing, you know, like whatever it is, because
Speaker 5: she's like, whoa, this is serious, as opposed to like
Speaker 5: if you hear yelling all the time, then it's like eh, whatever, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Which is how it got how it became for me.
Speaker 1: I like barely heard it.
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: My mom's yelling about something.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. Oh man, my mom didn't Uh well
Speaker 1: no she did. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I was kind of like that with my
Speaker 3: mom too. She did yell a lot, but also like
Speaker 3: she just talks loudly. Like I remember times that my
Speaker 3: friends would come over and she and my grandmother would
Speaker 3: be in the kitchen talking and my friends.
Speaker 1: Would be like, oh my god, should we go outside?
Speaker 4: Are they fighting? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I know, I know, and I'd be like, oh, no,
Speaker 3: they're just talking about what to make for dinner.
Speaker 4: Like they're not yeah, they're not agreeing.
Speaker 5: She thinks we should, you know, but talking, yeah, which
Speaker 5: we're doing right now.
Speaker 1: That's exactly where a Brad in the beginning was.
Speaker 3: Like like I can't focus, sorry, but this is this
Speaker 3: is it like talk to each other?
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is how it is, Babe, more better, Steph.
Speaker 1: This was a fun chat. This was very fun.
Speaker 5: I'm very glad that we talked about this because I
Speaker 5: kind of felt like I was not doing a good job.
Speaker 1: And now I feel a little bit more.
Speaker 3: Better better, I know, I do. I feel that way too.
Speaker 3: I was the same. I was like, oh, I don't
Speaker 3: think I do that.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: I should do more, and I do feel inspired to
Speaker 3: do more. I feel like I got some good ideas
Speaker 3: from you, and I think just being like yeah, sometimes
Speaker 3: just talking about the thing makes you more conscious of it.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, I am passing on some some
Speaker 1: good things. So it's it's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I do feel more better.
Speaker 1: It's about culture. I do too.
Speaker 5: I do too, and it makes me excited for the holidays. Actually,
Speaker 5: I mean it's far way at this point, but I
Speaker 5: don't know.
Speaker 1: I also just like love Christmas.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 1: My God too.
Speaker 5: We have that in common, we always have. I love
Speaker 5: Christmas so much I can't. I mean, I just love
Speaker 5: I love it. And you know, whatever holiday you celebrate,
Speaker 5: like if you're religious or not, I just think like
Speaker 5: there's something about that season that it's like a new
Speaker 5: year's coming. The winter solstice is there, It's like celebratory.
Speaker 5: You're with your friends and family. It's like, you know,
Speaker 5: people call it the season of giving for a reason
Speaker 5: because something comes over you and you just want to
Speaker 5: like help other people, and yeah, reach out and gift
Speaker 5: and being a family for me with community. Yeah, it's
Speaker 5: such a beautiful part of the year and I just
Speaker 5: love it so much.
Speaker 3: Same anyways, Happy Holidays, Happy Holidays months from now.
Speaker 1: Thanks friends today, Okay, see you next time. Bye bye,
Speaker 1: More More Better.
Speaker 5: Do you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 5: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 5: future episode.
Speaker 3: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 3: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 5: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
Speaker 5: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
Speaker 5: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh more Better
Speaker 5: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's
Speaker 5: Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Viatriz and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 5: More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and
Speaker 5: Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and
Speaker 5: Leo Clem at wvsound. This episode was edited by Isis
Speaker 5: Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music
Speaker 5: by Madison.
Speaker 1: Davenport and Hey Loo Boy.
Speaker 3: Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and photography by
Speaker 3: David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 3: See you next week, Sugas, Bye, Nan Pokitomas Mayhor