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Speaker 1: What don't you want to pass on to your kids? Trauma?

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Speaker 1: Culturally More Better, More, More.

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Speaker 2: Better, More Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we

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Speaker 2: stop pretending to have it all together and embrace the

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Speaker 2: journey of becoming a little more better every day we're.

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Speaker 1: At least trying to.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's most FAMO and that's Stephanie Beatrice.

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Speaker 4: Hi, welcome back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah baby, how are you doing? You know?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Well, I think I'm okay. I think I'm okay.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm a little like you know, we're recording

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Speaker 3: this on a Monday, and it's that Monday feeling of

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Speaker 3: the weekend was a whirlwind of just kid insanity and

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Speaker 3: Monday I always feel like a little like a hangover,

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Speaker 3: a kid hangover.

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Speaker 1: Like that's a really good way to put it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how are you? I feel similarly?

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Speaker 5: I mean, I I don't know what to call it,

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Speaker 5: but I had like a really down day yesterday where

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Speaker 5: I was like, h and I really I was leaning

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Speaker 5: on Brad a lot, like I got I got Ras

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Speaker 5: up and I did stuff with her and then I

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Speaker 5: was like, hey, man, I need to go in my

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Speaker 5: bedroom and hide. Can you please do the majority of

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Speaker 5: this today? And God bless him. He did, and my

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Speaker 5: sister helped too, but like I just couldn't. I couldn't

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Speaker 5: hack it, man, I couldn't hack it. And it made

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Speaker 5: me think, like, you know, on one hand, I'm so

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Speaker 5: grateful for a partner that a partner, and a sister,

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Speaker 5: a family that is ready to kind of like, you know,

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Speaker 5: pick up I not not pick up the slack, but

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Speaker 5: like catch me or support me when I'm down, support you.

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Speaker 5: But also I have like all these guilty feelings of

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Speaker 5: like what about like single moms and like people that

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Speaker 5: don't have anybody else to depend on, and like what

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Speaker 5: are they doing when they're sad? And like I can't

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Speaker 5: believe I'm in bed right now watching Sex in the City.

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Speaker 3: I'm so sad, Like I do, you know, I get

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Speaker 3: I think we all do that, But I think that

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Speaker 3: also if you are able, and you have a village

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Speaker 3: or you have community, like you know, you gotta put

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Speaker 3: your you gotta put your mask on for your your

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Speaker 3: oxygen mask on first.

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Speaker 5: So what you're saying is it's okay for me to

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Speaker 5: watch Sex and the City for days on end and

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Speaker 5: just ignore my chidler completely days.

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Speaker 1: Carb Garblus. I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 3: I don't ignore my child's No, I know you don't actually,

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Speaker 3: but you were just taking care of yourself and her.

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Speaker 5: Also, yeah, I don't even know what was wrong with me, Like,

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Speaker 5: I guess you're just something to.

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Speaker 1: Do in therapy. I was just having a hard day.

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Speaker 4: You're just having a hard day.

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Speaker 5: Well, okay, so now I'm gonna ask you, what have

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Speaker 5: you done lately that's more better?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: Burt for my smoothie, which is something I've been my

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Speaker 3: more better. I'm good, Monday reset. I'm trying to, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I've been really busy and all over the

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Speaker 3: place and scattered, so like I worked out this morning

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Speaker 3: and I made my smoothie that I love. I'm trying

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Speaker 3: to like get get back in the routine, you know, like,

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Speaker 3: oh my Monday reset.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: Monday Reset. That's what I've that's my more better.

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Speaker 1: What have you done lately? It's more better?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Gonna copy you. I'm gonna copy you. Yeah, because sometimes

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 3: Said, listen, sometimes every single Monday is a Monday Reset.

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Speaker 4: And that's just how it goes.

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Speaker 1: Real talk, that's real, that's really real.

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Speaker 3: But it helps me to just be like whatever, it's fine.

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Speaker 3: What everything you just did is fine? Just Monday reset, Like,

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Speaker 3: let's just commit to get back in the routine for

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Speaker 3: the week.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh my god, I'm copying you. Yeah, I am

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Speaker 1: going to copy you. That's so good. What was my

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Speaker 1: more better?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 1: I'm flossing? Yes, I am such a lazy like girl

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 3: Should we do an episode on how to be more

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Speaker 3: better a dental because we could struggle?

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Speaker 1: Is you are shared dentist? We share a dentist.

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Speaker 3: You guys share a dentist? More better?

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Speaker 1: Anyway?

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Speaker 5: More better at dental care with Stephanie Molson. That's not

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Speaker 5: what we're talking about today. Actually, today's episode, we're talking

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Speaker 5: about sharing your culture with your kids. If you don't

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Speaker 5: have kids, this can also be for you if you're

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Speaker 5: like I want to share my culture with my friends.

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Speaker 1: With my chosen family. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So it's like about keeping kind of like touchstones of

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Speaker 5: your culture in your life and how you do it.

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Speaker 1: Are you doing it? Do you want to do it more?

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Speaker 5: Do you feel like I totally have that down and

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Speaker 5: you just want to run this episode off?

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Speaker 4: Please?

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Speaker 5: Don't, like, you know, I think one of the things

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Speaker 5: that I think about a lot is like, how do

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Speaker 5: I do that?

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Speaker 1: Because for me.

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Speaker 5: I assimilated, like my parents wanted me to assimilate in

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Speaker 5: you know, for purposes of this conversation, we'll call it

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Speaker 5: like American culture. And they didn't want us to speak Spanish.

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Speaker 5: They wanted us to you know, be like I even

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Speaker 5: wanted to assimilate. I remember going to school, I'm seeing

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Speaker 5: everybody's lunches and specifically wanting lunches that looked like the

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Speaker 5: other kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that, but like, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, how how how I grew up and like how

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Speaker 3: embracing parts of my culture didn't come until honestly until

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Speaker 3: I was like in college, late high school college. I

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Speaker 3: just want that journey to be different for my kid

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Speaker 3: and my family.

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Speaker 1: You know what about you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, similarly that pressure to assimilate.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: The story in our family is when my brother was

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Speaker 3: really young, like first grade or kindergarten, the teacher called

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Speaker 3: my parents in and this is in the eighties and

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Speaker 3: ask them what they were speaking at home, and they

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Speaker 3: said Spanish and they said, hmm, it's really messing him

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Speaker 3: up because my brother was saying things like give me

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Speaker 3: low and tekel and like he was, you know, just

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Speaker 3: he was speaking Spanglish basically. And you know, I feel

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Speaker 3: like now there's a lot more awareness and education about

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Speaker 3: like that always just evens out and kids like, you know,

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Speaker 3: just become bilingual and it's not a big deal. And

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Speaker 3: there are speech delays sometimes when you are teaching two languages,

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Speaker 3: like you know, back then it was just like ooh,

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Speaker 3: and and like my parents got scared, so they didn't

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Speaker 3: stop speaking Spanish to us, but they stopped making us

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Speaker 3: respond in Spanish. So I grew up with a like

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Speaker 3: bilingual brain where I've always been able to like understand

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Speaker 3: Spanish pretty fluently, but.

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Speaker 1: It's like not in my it's not in my mouth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like that's like my sister, like the connection is

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Speaker 3: broken and it's like gone better. And I've worked on

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Speaker 3: you know, and it's like I get on these like

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Speaker 3: ruts of like working on it a lot and it

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Speaker 3: gets a lot better and then I lose it, and

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Speaker 3: you know, it's like a very up and down thing.

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Speaker 3: But but yeah, so I think and what you said

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Speaker 3: about like food too, I think I remember you know,

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Speaker 3: asking more for like ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch

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Speaker 3: or you know, and and things like that. And and

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Speaker 3: I grew up in It's town with a lot of

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Speaker 3: Italians and happened to have the maiden name Gallo, which

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Speaker 3: kind of let me blend in because Italians sort of

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Speaker 3: look like Latin anyone, you know, sometimes sometimes they do

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Speaker 3: some you know, and uh so I I remember being

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Speaker 3: conscious of like, oh, I could just like.

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Speaker 1: Blend it.

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Speaker 3: I don't have to like tell anybody that I'm.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to be me.

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Speaker 3: I could just be like I could just like like

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Speaker 3: a hide a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But also there were a lot of kids with like

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Speaker 3: immigrant parents or grandparents, so I also didn't feel like

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Speaker 3: too two othered and innocence too. I think I also

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Speaker 3: got lucky with the particular group of friends that I

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Speaker 3: grew up with. But but yeah, it's it's definitely and

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Speaker 3: I think it's also uh different. I think a lot

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Speaker 3: about how I was like the child of immigrants and

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Speaker 3: how different that is for my kids who are second.

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Speaker 1: Gen you know. And I just feel like it was so.

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Speaker 3: Much more kind of in my everyday life than it

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Speaker 3: is necessarily for me.

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Speaker 1: Now does that make sense?

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Speaker 5: Like, yeah, because like you, your parents came to the

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Speaker 5: US when they were teenage teenagers, right, yeah, yeah, so

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Speaker 5: they are already like they had established lives there in Cuba,

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Speaker 5: and yeah, established way of life, established like attitudes and

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Speaker 5: values and beliefs, and you know, even down to like

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Speaker 5: the art around them and like the feeling of where

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Speaker 5: they grew up and the habits of the people and

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Speaker 5: like all that stuff was like already kind of like established.

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Speaker 1: And then they moved, so that was already part of them. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they were, Yeah, they had to start over

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Speaker 3: here and high school or early high school, and yeah,

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Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, there was a lot of

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Speaker 3: Caribbean art in our house, and like, you know, there

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Speaker 3: was a lot of you know, I mean, my parents

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Speaker 3: loved music, so there was you know, Glorious Stevon and

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Speaker 3: Tony Bennett and and like Frank Sinatra and also Celia

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Speaker 3: Cruz were like, oh that's like what was always playing.

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Speaker 3: It was a very yeah, like spanglish mixed kind of house.

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Speaker 3: But they definitely, I think felt pressure to assimilate.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a lot of immigrants feel that way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: They don't want to be targeted, you know, like they

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Speaker 3: don't want to feel like they're targeted for being different. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and they want things to be easier for their kids

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Speaker 3: than for them.

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Speaker 1: Hmm, that's very real.

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Speaker 3: What was it, Well, you came when you were three.

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Speaker 1: Two, I was too to redress.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, so yeah, even so more so for your

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Speaker 3: parents because they were like full adults, they were families,

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Speaker 3: all adults, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: They were grown ups and you know, coming to a

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Speaker 1: new world basically with like.

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Speaker 5: Both of them could speak English, but they have and

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Speaker 5: still do. My mother's accent is you know, it's thick,

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Speaker 5: and yeah, my father's was to you know, like I

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Speaker 5: think for them they really wanted us to it was

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Speaker 5: it was about assimilating.

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Speaker 1: And also for them, it was about achieving. So it

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Speaker 1: was like.

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Speaker 5: A straight a's nothing, but you can't come home with

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Speaker 5: a bee. Like if you come home with a bee,

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Speaker 5: it's hell is going to come down on you, like it.

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Speaker 5: And it was just like palpable, like you have to

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Speaker 5: be it has to be like ninety eight or above.

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Speaker 5: You've got to succeed at everything that you do. If

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Speaker 5: you don't, then what are we doing? Just pick something

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Speaker 5: else to be good at, you know. But I think

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Speaker 5: that was a lot of like trying to protect us,

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Speaker 5: me and my sister. Yeah, and like what was interesting

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Speaker 5: about the time that they came and we moved to Texas,

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Speaker 5: So like it was really it was my mom really

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Speaker 5: found a community within her church, and she found a

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Speaker 5: lot of Latinos, but they were from all over, so

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Speaker 5: like some of her friends were Watermelon, some of her

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Speaker 5: friends were Mexicans, some of her friends were Portuguese, some

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Speaker 5: of her friends were Brazilian, some of her friends were

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Speaker 5: this that the other, right, and like they were all immigrants,

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Speaker 5: and they had almost all of them were immigrants, and

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Speaker 5: then some of them were born and raised in Texas,

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Speaker 5: but they were, you know, they were really connected to

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Speaker 5: their Mexican culture. So like I think overall, when I

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Speaker 5: was a kid, it was really Mexican culture that I.

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Speaker 1: Saw and felt a lot of.

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Speaker 5: And consequently, I still feel really connected to Mexican culture,

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Speaker 5: even though technically I'm not Mexican at all, but right,

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Speaker 5: I just feel that way, and I feel a lot

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Speaker 5: of like like when I see the Mexican flag, I

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Speaker 5: feel pride about it even though I'm not from Mexico. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it doesn't matter because because I grew up in Texas

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Speaker 5: and like Texas used to being borderw Mexico, and like

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Speaker 5: I just feel connected.

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Speaker 4: I get that.

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Speaker 3: I relate to that because like there's a lot of

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Speaker 3: Puerto Ricans and Dominican like Caribbean Latinos where I grew

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Speaker 3: up and like, and I've been to those places, and

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Speaker 3: I feel that same kind of feeling with Puerto Rican

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Speaker 3: culture Dominican culture.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it's like like.

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Speaker 5: This is so cheesy, but like it's like that song

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Speaker 5: and in the Heights where like everybody's like flying their

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Speaker 5: own flash, they all still really feel connected, yes to

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Speaker 5: their culture and they're proud of each other, and they're

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Speaker 5: just singing like about how much they love their countries

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Speaker 5: even though they're not there. They have family there or whatever,

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Speaker 5: like tradition and roots, you know. Like I don't know,

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Speaker 5: I remember being we were when we were shooting in

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Speaker 5: the Heights. When we were shooting that song was like

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Speaker 5: two days outside.

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Speaker 1: I think love scene so much.

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Speaker 5: My god, the middle of summer, the middle of summer,

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Speaker 5: like we're melting, melting hot and soup and me I

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Speaker 5: was like, I want like all the hair pieces for

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Speaker 5: this job, Like I want like in every scene, I

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Speaker 5: want to have like a wild hair dude, just like

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Speaker 5: to put as much hair in there as you possibly can. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 5: we're dancing outside and it's like one hundred degrees and I.

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Speaker 1: Have like life hair on my head myself you know

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Speaker 1: what it looked? Good girl, Okay, look and look good.

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Speaker 3: Thank you more.

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Speaker 5: Consequently, like one of the things that I want to

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Speaker 5: do as a parent is.

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Speaker 1: You know, ros is Uh.

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Speaker 5: She's growing up with a mom who's Colombian oblivion and

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Speaker 5: a dad who his family's been in the United States

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Speaker 5: for quite a while. You know, they were Eastern European,

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Speaker 5: but they've been here much longer than my family, right,

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Speaker 5: And so I'm trying to find what can be And

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Speaker 5: she's just still little, but I'm like trying to introduce

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Speaker 5: these like new traditions in our family. Like at Christmas time,

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Speaker 5: we make to Molly's and she helps. There's this great

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Speaker 5: book called Too Many to Mally's that's really really cute.

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Speaker 5: We read it at Christmas time and then we make

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Speaker 5: to Molly's and she asks to read for read it

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Speaker 5: again and again.

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Speaker 1: But we also make Parrogi's because that's part of my

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Speaker 1: husband's culture.

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Speaker 5: So I'm trying to do both things through food, because

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Speaker 5: food is so celebratory, right, and it's such an easy

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Speaker 5: kind of in to culture. And I also find that

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Speaker 5: there's like story around it, which is why I was

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Speaker 5: psyched when I found that book that too many Tomali's book. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: because in the book there's so many pictures of her

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Speaker 5: and her primos and like her family all coming together

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Speaker 5: at Christmas time, and like there's so much story jumping

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Speaker 5: off points that I can have from her starting to

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Speaker 5: make Tamalai's as a kid, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love that. It makes me want to

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Speaker 1: look like a Goodchouena book.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm sure there's like a million. I'm sure

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Speaker 3: there's like a million. I just haven't had the idea

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Speaker 3: to look.

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Speaker 1: Is that something that you guys celebrate wanna Yeah? Yeah

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Speaker 1: yeah growing up?

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Speaker 3: So it's like a little bittersweet for me because growing

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Speaker 3: up it is a tradition that's been passed on in Cuba.

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Speaker 3: They used to gather at my mom's grandmother's house and

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Speaker 3: it was all the cousins and I guess the house

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Speaker 3: was like on the bigger side the way my mom

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Speaker 3: describes it, but like she also is like we all

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Speaker 3: like piled in, like we all slept in the living

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Speaker 3: room together, like oh my kids on the floor, like

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Speaker 3: everybody would sleep over, and she also like talked about

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Speaker 3: her grandmother would like go outside to like kill the

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Speaker 3: pig that morning.

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Speaker 4: That was one tradition.

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Speaker 5: Like she would go outside with my like you're planning

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Speaker 5: on doing in your life and you.

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Speaker 3: Want to with a hammer, like That's how the festivities started.

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Speaker 1: That day, and all the kids would be like, isn't.

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Speaker 4: It so intense?

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Speaker 3: And my mom was like no, but like we just

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Speaker 3: like all ran outside screaming and laughing like it was.

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Speaker 3: You know, I was like, oh my god, that's icy.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: So then sorry to the vegans, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

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Speaker 3: this is Cuba. So and then when my parents got

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Speaker 3: their first house in New Jersey, they started doing the

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Speaker 3: same thing, having all of our cousins from New York

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Speaker 3: come over every Christmas Eve, and uh, my.

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Speaker 1: Mom would make most of the food.

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Speaker 3: Well she would take like the pig to get it

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Speaker 3: done that you're a Cuban bakery, she would she would

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Speaker 3: do it. She would prep it and then she would

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Speaker 3: take it to get cooked and then they'd pick it

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Speaker 3: up for dinner. Oh and my my ideas would bring

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Speaker 3: the black beans, and you know, somebody would bring the yuka.

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Speaker 3: It's always yuka black beans, rice pork and plantains.

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Speaker 1: That's Christmas Eve dinner.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, so every Christmas Eve was like thirty of

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Speaker 3: my cousins at my parents' house and we'd have a

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Speaker 3: party and we'd have dinner and exchange gifts and it

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00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 3: was amazing and we all.

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Speaker 1: Like miss it so much.

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Speaker 3: So I always have like guilt in me that, like

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Speaker 3: my kids aren't getting that because we live in California,

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Speaker 3: and also the family is like, you know, my parents

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Speaker 3: have retired and moved away and like some people have

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Speaker 3: like spread out a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do make that meal.

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Speaker 3: And I do make the Christmas cookies that I used

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Speaker 3: to make with my mom when I was a kid.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what I say Now.

359
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 5: They're just little butter cookies. But they're so fucking good.

360
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 5: This recipe is so easy. You have to share the recipes.

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00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,680
Speaker 3: I'll share the recipe, we'll put it on Instagram. And

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00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 3: it's so fucking good.

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00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 1: And and then.

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00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,760
Speaker 3: And they're just and I use like a cookie press,

365
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,680
Speaker 3: you know, it's like those kind of cookies.

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Speaker 1: So you gell me like a lot.

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00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 3: I make them for like my kids teachers now. But yeah,

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00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:33,440
Speaker 3: I am very I feel very strongly about like keeping

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Speaker 3: that nocha Winna, like you know that we have that

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Speaker 3: meal and we make those cookies and we all sit

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Speaker 3: down and we decorate. You know. That's another one too.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that's been a tradition. It's like I

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Speaker 3: decorate with the kids. I feel like, oh my god,

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00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 3: yeah yeah, like involving them in it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's kosher or not.

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Speaker 5: But the the little corner store over here by where

377
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 5: I live has Christmasao and we put it up last year,

378
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Speaker 5: and Ro's freaking loves picado. She freaking loves it.

379
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Speaker 4: Wait.

380
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 1: I don't know what picado.

381
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 5: Is, buttle picado is usually at uh Day for David dead.

382
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah paper that Ida know that's

383
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,720
Speaker 5: what it was called. Yes, yeah, picado And that's very

384
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Speaker 5: I don't know if that's Mexican at all. I mean

385
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 5: I think it's just Mexican. I'm not sure I could

386
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 5: google it. I will maybe maybe Isis could google that

387
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,400
Speaker 5: while I'm talking, so I don't sund like I'm talking

388
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 5: out my ass, but like, yeah, decorating is a big

389
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 5: one for us on at Christmas time. No, what'd you

390
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 5: find about picado?

391
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 6: I googled picallo. Yeah, it is originated from Mexico. It's

392
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 6: a Mexican folk art. The tradition of using pupp and

393
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 6: picado originates practice. This is why the Aztecs the aztext

394
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 6: covered a dark textile called amatal with melted rubber and

395
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Speaker 6: painted on it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so cool. That's so I love it.

397
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: I think it's so beautiful.

398
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 5: I love I love like the very intricate hand done stuff,

399
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 5: and I love the plastic stuff that I can get

400
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 5: at the corner store and we hang it, we hang

401
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 5: it at the other those We usually keep it up

402
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 5: for a while and then we switch it out for

403
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 5: the Christmas colored ones. And I don't know, I just

404
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,120
Speaker 5: love having it around at Christmas time because it makes

405
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 5: me again, I think it makes me feel connected to

406
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Speaker 5: Mexican culture.

407
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 3: I think I might steal that too, Steph and like

408
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 3: it's and add it to our Christmas decorations next year,

409
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 3: because just living in Los Angeles, my kids have a

410
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,919
Speaker 3: connection to Mexican culture because.

411
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 1: It's exactly yeah, mm hmm, exactly exactly that did you

412
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: do anything on Christmas Day?

413
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 3: Because we hilariously like did nothing on Christmas Day? Ever,

414
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 3: we ate we went to the movies and ate Chinese food.

415
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 3: That was we went to the movies, went to the

416
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,199
Speaker 3: movies and ate Chinese food. And I and I have

417
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 3: started to do that too. I've started to get Chinese

418
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 3: food on Christmas Day, Bro, that is I okay.

419
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Speaker 5: So I'm trying to get Brad, my husband, Brad, to

420
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 5: understand movies on Christmas Day and he does not get it.

421
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 1: He's like, Christmas Day isn't for that. I'm like that

422
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,159
Speaker 1: this is the day for that.

423
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 5: They together, everybody's like the grown ups are kind of hungover.

424
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Speaker 1: Everyone's food hungover.

425
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 5: You want to do anything, You open presence, you kind

426
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:40,640
Speaker 5: of clean it up, then you go to the movies.

427
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 1: Yes, that is that is a I mean that's I'll

428
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: talk to him.

429
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah. What about New Year's did you guys

430
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 3: do any of the lat my god, do you do

431
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 3: a lot of them?

432
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 1: We did. We had to wear yellow underwear or new underwear.

433
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:02,959
Speaker 1: Uh huh.

434
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 5: We did the twelve grapes at midnight. That's what we

435
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 5: always did. Twelve grapes. Got to eat the twelve grapes

436
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 5: for good luck? Where did the grapes come from? Listen

437
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 5: to us, we're having this. I mean, this is part

438
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 5: of why we're having this discussion, you guys, because like, well, that's.

439
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: The thing though about traditions is sometimes you just do

440
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 1: them and you don't.

441
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 4: You just do it.

442
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 3: I always told the twelve grapes were for good luck,

443
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 3: for the new year.

444
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 5: That's what my one month, one for every month. Yes,

445
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 5: and you're supposed to eat them as fast as possible, yes.

446
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 3: Without choking. We did, which is scary, which I never

447
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 3: thought about. What I started to do with my kids.

448
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 3: I was like, the first time, I think, let me

449
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: cut them in half, let me cut them, let me cut.

450
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 4: Them in joke.

451
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 5: I think last year was your parents were like, just

452
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 5: eat them off the vine, just don't worry, don't even them.

453
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, just shove them in your mouth.

454
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 3: And we did it last year for the first time

455
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: because last year was the first time my kids could

456
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 3: stay up until nine because in Los Angeles we do

457
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 3: New York New Year's Eve.

458
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 4: At nine o'clock.

459
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: Oh cute, you like that's what we did this year.

460
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

461
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, you put the New York feed on and at

462
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 3: nine o'clock you can like, do you know, Happy New Year?

463
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 3: Because there's my kids are too little to they won't

464
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 3: make it till midnight. And and yeah, I gave them

465
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 3: the grades and I was so excited, and I was.

466
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: Like, you can't eat them, miss fast again.

467
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 3: As they started putting them in mouth, I was like, no, wait,

468
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 3: just spill it out.

469
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 4: I think many.

470
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be fast, just do one at

471
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 3: a time.

472
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: See, you know, you have to adjust the traditions for

473
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: your own family, you do.

474
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 5: I think there's a lot of stuff that like I

475
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 5: want to try with her, you know, it's like try

476
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 5: and see what sticks. And because again, like I didn't

477
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 5: grow up with a ton of this stuff. I mean

478
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 5: was a big one in our house, but I didn't.

479
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 5: I wasn't. I think my parents did their absolute best,

480
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 5: and I think they had a lot on their plates,

481
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 5: and I think like those kind of things weren't always

482
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 5: at the forefront of their mind, oh, trying.

483
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 3: To make sure that culturally I had a touchdown. They

484
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 3: were just trying to make it day to day, you know.

485
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, So when I think about now, I want to

486
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 5: I want to give my kid that stuff because if

487
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 5: I don't give it to her, you know, like if

488
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 5: I don't teach her the language or at least give

489
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 5: her like the choice to learn it, you know, or

490
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:47,120
Speaker 5: like the experience of traveling to Colombia, if we can,

491
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 5: to Bolivia, if we can, the experience of like making

492
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 5: those cultural connections. If I don't help her build those bridges,

493
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 5: it's going to be a lot harder for her to

494
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 5: build them on her own later.

495
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 3: And I think our parents just being who they are

496
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 3: so much was passed on to us just kind of

497
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 3: without them trying, you know, because it was I think

498
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 3: culture also extends to like I don't know, like you

499
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 3: know your values and your point of view and you know,

500
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 3: and obviously it's like holidays and it's food and it's music,

501
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 3: Like those are the more kind of I think surface

502
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: ones that are the maybe the loudest, but yeah, I

503
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 3: think it comes, you know, I see it and just yeah,

504
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 3: like I'm I'm I'm big on like like manners and respect,

505
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 3: and I think that that's.

506
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 4: Right Latino thing.

507
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,719
Speaker 3: Like I remember there was this one video someone sent me.

508
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 3: It was like on Instagram or TikTok or something, and

509
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 3: it was you know those princesses you can hire for

510
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 3: like a birthday party, and so it was like one

511
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 3: of those women that was in her like princess outfit

512
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 3: in her car and she goes, I just want to

513
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 3: like give props to like all the Latino families because

514
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 3: every time I work at a Latino family party, those

515
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,360
Speaker 3: kids are so respectful.

516
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 5: You.

517
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 3: She was like, look at this plate of food. They

518
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 3: sent me home with this delicious food. They always set

519
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: me home with food. They always like, you know, ask

520
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 3: me if I need a break. They treat me like

521
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 3: I'm part of the.

522
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 4: Family when I come in, you know.

523
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 3: And I felt such pride watching that video and also

524
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 3: just like yeah, I want you know, and I try

525
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 3: to be really conscious of that of like, you know,

526
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: when people are at my house, I'm very like you know,

527
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 3: like like I like I play hostess, but I'm also

528
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 3: like if you need because this is how my mom was,

529
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 3: like Mikasa Sukasa, like if you need something from the fridge,

530
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 3: go get something from the fridge, like you know, if

531
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 3: you you don't like be comfortable be at home like

532
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 3: I you know, don't like you're not a guest, you know,

533
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,120
Speaker 3: like you're a part of the family.

534
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 1: And you know, I burn my head my mom going almost.

535
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, like like don't be rude, like don't

536
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 7: be hello, say lo say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye,

537
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 7: and thank you before you leave.

538
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 3: That was another big one. I remember as an adult

539
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 3: being at a rap party for I think the soap

540
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: I was on, and somebody from that show came up

541
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 3: to me like the next day at work or whatever

542
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 3: or the next time I saw it, and they were like,

543
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 3: you are the only person I know who like intentionally

544
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 3: goes around the room to say bye to like almost

545
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 3: everybody before you leave. And I think that that's so polite.

546
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 3: And I was just like it was so automatic for

547
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 3: me because that was so like ingrained from my parents.

548
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 3: And they were like, I just appreciate it. It's so nice.

549
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: And I was like oh, and I'm like felt really good.

550
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, thank you.

551
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 3: Like so now I think about it things with my

552
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 3: kids of just like very respectful.

553
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

554
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 5: Meanwhile, I'm like, oh bye, Like I bounce out of

555
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 5: parties without saying goodbye because it stresses me out, just

556
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 5: like good.

557
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: Bye to people. Oh yeah, I mean I think that's

558
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: fine too.

559
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 5: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. More better what Okay?

560
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,239
Speaker 5: So we talked a lot about stuff that we do

561
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 5: want to pass on. What don't you want to pass

562
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 5: on to your kids trauma culturally.

563
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 4: Oion, you know what I mean.

564
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 3: But you know what it's also like sometimes I'm a

565
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 3: little on the not on the fence about it. Let

566
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 3: me explain, but I feel like I you know, I'm

567
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: Cuban obviously, the way my family came here, the way

568
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 3: my husband's also a Cuban, the way his family came

569
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 3: here is surrounded with a lot of trauma. You know,

570
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 3: with a cousin who was a Peter Pankid came on

571
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: a plane by herself, didn't see her parents for five years.

572
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 3: Like there was a lot of crazy stories I grew

573
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 3: up around, and uh, the positive thing that those stories

574
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 3: gave me, I think was like ambition and drive and

575
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 3: like and being really grateful and having kind of this

576
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 3: perspective of like kind of how good I have it?

577
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean.

578
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 3: Like there is there is that like joke about like

579
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 3: when you're an immigrant, a child of immigrants, like it's

580
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 3: really hard to complain about anything, you know, like, oh

581
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 3: my god, today it was so hard? Oh was today hard?

582
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 4: Did you have to flee your country?

583
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's.

584
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, everything got And that definitely that happened to me

585
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: a lot, which is another complicated thing. But you know,

586
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 3: but then there are times where you see, like, oh,

587
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 3: I think this did make me like stronger. I think

588
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 3: this gift date did give me this kind of uph

589
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 3: you know. But yeah, but I definitely, I don't know.

590
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 3: It'll be interesting, you know, for my kids to kind

591
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 3: of when they're older, obviously, Uh, I don't know. I'm

592
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 3: curious and like learning about that will give them the

593
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 3: same sort of shift in perspective or you know, I

594
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 3: also have the privilege of telling them older and they're

595
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 3: not just like surrounded by it too, which is something

596
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 3: I recognize.

597
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 4: You know. I get to choose when they learn about that.

598
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think that that's really important for them,

599
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 5: you know, to hear like where they come from, Like

600
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 5: what were the steps that got them here? You know,

601
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 5: because like that is a part of I mean, that's

602
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 5: a part of family tradition in a weird way, it's.

603
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: Like what where are your roots? Where where are you from?

604
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 5: Like how you know, like how are all the parts

605
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 5: of you connected and built?

606
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: You know?

607
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 5: And that goes for like I think any any any

608
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 5: anybody right, Like I want to know about myself.

609
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: I want to know how the parts of me and

610
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 3: I want to introduce like parts of that to my

611
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 3: friends and my partner that have that experience. You know, yeah,

612
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 3: are there any parts of your culture that you are

613
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:30,719
Speaker 3: that you don't want to pass on trauma?

614
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 5: I think for a lot of us it's trauma. Particularly

615
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 5: it's like you know that, I mean, this is a

616
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 5: very generalized thing to say, and please forgive me audience,

617
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 5: but you know, we've all seen the stereotypical like Latinos

618
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 5: are passionate in their fiery and ye and like listen,

619
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 5: we could get into a big conversation about that. But

620
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 5: what I know to be true about my own family

621
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 5: was that communication was life with a lot of like.

622
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: Explosion.

623
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 3: And I think, you know, my parents did their best,

624
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 3: but I don't know that they always knew how to

625
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 3: communicate in the healthiest and kindest ways.

626
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 5: And like you pick up on that as a kid,

627
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 5: you go, oh, well, I guess this is normal. This

628
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 5: is how it is when you're married, or how how

629
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 5: you talk to people, or you know, And I think

630
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 5: that there was also an element of them being really afraid.

631
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 5: I think one of the things that I'm trying to

632
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 5: figure out as a parent and honestly as a person

633
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 5: is like how do I approach things with less fear

634
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 5: and how do I approach things with like more communicativeness,

635
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 5: especially when I'm mad, So that I just like exploding,

636
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 5: you know, in a way that like I grew up

637
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 5: where like the explosion was just like kind of the norm,

638
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 5: you know.

639
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 1: But I don't want to explode. I want to like

640
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: take a breath.

641
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 5: I want to, you know, if I have to, I

642
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 5: want to leave the room if I have to, I

643
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 5: want to say I can't talk about this with you

644
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 5: right now. I need to just take a step back

645
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 5: whatever however I do it. So that's the kind of

646
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 5: stuff that like those are honestly, some of them are

647
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 5: like traditions in my family because I grew up around

648
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 5: it and they grew up around it, and like I

649
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 5: want to.

650
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: End some of that stuff. Yeah, break the cycle.

651
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 5: Yeah that's like a that's a very fancy way to say,

652
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 5: like don't yell at your kid.

653
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to yell my kid. I don't really

654
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: want to yell my kid.

655
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 3: The only time I've ever like really raised my voice

656
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 3: at Roz is like she's like climbing on the stairwell,

657
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 3: like you know.

658
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 5: Stair Sometimes we just kind of like, hey, yeah, you know, yeah,

659
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 5: but I'm not.

660
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm not of the I just don't want to I

661
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I have it be.

662
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 3: The normal, all the all the time way, but it

663
00:34:59,320 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 3: doesn't work.

664
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh you know what I mean, Like like if

665
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 5: I were to yell like she's climbing down off of

666
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 5: that staircase thing, you know, like whatever it is, because

667
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 5: she's like, whoa, this is serious, as opposed to like

668
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,760
Speaker 5: if you hear yelling all the time, then it's like eh, whatever, yeah, yeah.

669
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 1: Which is how it got how it became for me.

670
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: I like barely heard it.

671
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know.

672
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: My mom's yelling about something.

673
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 5: I don't know.

674
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. Oh man, my mom didn't Uh well

675
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: no she did. Yeah.

676
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 3: I think I was kind of like that with my

677
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 3: mom too. She did yell a lot, but also like

678
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 3: she just talks loudly. Like I remember times that my

679
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: friends would come over and she and my grandmother would

680
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 3: be in the kitchen talking and my friends.

681
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: Would be like, oh my god, should we go outside?

682
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 4: Are they fighting? Yeah?

683
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 3: I know, I know, and I'd be like, oh, no,

684
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 3: they're just talking about what to make for dinner.

685
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 4: Like they're not yeah, they're not agreeing.

686
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 5: She thinks we should, you know, but talking, yeah, which

687
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 5: we're doing right now.

688
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: That's exactly where a Brad in the beginning was.

689
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 3: Like like I can't focus, sorry, but this is this

690
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 3: is it like talk to each other?

691
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is how it is, Babe, more better, Steph.

692
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 1: This was a fun chat. This was very fun.

693
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 5: I'm very glad that we talked about this because I

694
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 5: kind of felt like I was not doing a good job.

695
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: And now I feel a little bit more.

696
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 3: Better better, I know, I do. I feel that way too.

697
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 3: I was the same. I was like, oh, I don't

698
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 3: think I do that.

699
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 1: I don't.

700
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 3: I should do more, and I do feel inspired to

701
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 3: do more. I feel like I got some good ideas

702
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 3: from you, and I think just being like yeah, sometimes

703
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 3: just talking about the thing makes you more conscious of it.

704
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, I am passing on some some

705
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: good things. So it's it's good.

706
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I do feel more better.

707
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: It's about culture. I do too.

708
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 5: I do too, and it makes me excited for the holidays. Actually,

709
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 5: I mean it's far way at this point, but I

710
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 5: don't know.

711
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: I also just like love Christmas.

712
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 4: I love it.

713
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 1: My God too.

714
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 5: We have that in common, we always have. I love

715
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 5: Christmas so much I can't. I mean, I just love

716
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 5: I love it. And you know, whatever holiday you celebrate,

717
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,799
Speaker 5: like if you're religious or not, I just think like

718
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 5: there's something about that season that it's like a new

719
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 5: year's coming. The winter solstice is there, It's like celebratory.

720
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 5: You're with your friends and family. It's like, you know,

721
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 5: people call it the season of giving for a reason

722
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 5: because something comes over you and you just want to

723
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 5: like help other people, and yeah, reach out and gift

724
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 5: and being a family for me with community. Yeah, it's

725
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 5: such a beautiful part of the year and I just

726
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 5: love it so much.

727
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 3: Same anyways, Happy Holidays, Happy Holidays months from now.

728
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: Thanks friends today, Okay, see you next time. Bye bye,

729
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: More More Better.

730
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 5: Do you have something you'd like to be more better

731
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 5: at that you want us to talk about in a

732
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 5: future episode.

733
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

734
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 3: one of our tips and tricks?

735
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,919
Speaker 5: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

736
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 5: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

737
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 5: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh more Better

738
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 5: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's

739
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 5: Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Viatriz and Melissa Fumero.

740
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 5: More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and

741
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 5: Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and

742
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 5: Leo Clem at wvsound. This episode was edited by Isis

743
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 5: Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music

744
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 5: by Madison.

745
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 1: Davenport and Hey Loo Boy.

746
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 3: Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and photography by

747
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 3: David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,

748
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

749
00:38:53,320 --> 00:39:04,280
Speaker 3: See you next week, Sugas, Bye, Nan Pokitomas Mayhor