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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app.

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Speaker 2: Then there's wife.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 1: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 2: It's the dating game show that's teaching an intimacy class

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Speaker 2: in the produce section of Albertson's sign Up and learn

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Speaker 2: how to fondle properly with Battle of the Tender Dates,

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Speaker 2: where two of our listeners go head to head to

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Speaker 2: find out whose dating life is the most tragic. We'll

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Speaker 2: explain the rules in just a second, but first let's

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Speaker 2: meet today's contestants. Here in this corner, she's so disappointed

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Speaker 2: in the male human species she's changed her tender to

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Speaker 2: search for love on other planets. Wow, so say hello

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Speaker 2: to dish Antenna Jenna.

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Speaker 1: Up with aliens. Your age range must have to be

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Speaker 1: up to one thousand and two or.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah land in the other corner, her love life

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Speaker 2: wage is when a guy steals her identity and opens

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Speaker 2: multiple credit cards using all of her information.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's why they call her extort me, Courtney. I know,

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Speaker 1: but he's finally paying attention to who you are. I

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Speaker 1: wish you were just short and you could have been shortening. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so hot. But here's how the game works.

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Speaker 2: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 2: date stories. The other will try and counter with a

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Speaker 2: nightmare story of their own. We're going back and forth

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Speaker 2: for three rounds until we declare a winner. Let's start

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Speaker 2: it off with dish antenna Jenna an aggressive go.

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Speaker 4: I like that.

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Speaker 1: That's a hard start to go for it.

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Speaker 4: So I was meeting this guy at a bar and

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Speaker 4: I saw him sitting there with another woman.

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Speaker 1: Oh, not a great start. Heck, yeah, maybe it's a coworker.

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Speaker 2: So I've been let's not jump to conclusions, friend.

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Speaker 4: I wish it had been. I sat down, I realized

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Speaker 4: she wasn't real It was his emotional support mannequin Delilah, who.

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Speaker 3: I mean, a pretty good mannequin.

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Speaker 2: If you didn't know from yeah, okay, what did you do?

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Speaker 4: Well? He was pretty cute, so at first I was like,

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Speaker 4: all right, I'm gonna say give him a chance. And

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Speaker 4: then he told me I had to split the appetizer

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Speaker 4: with her, and I don't even know what that means,

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Speaker 4: so I left.

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Speaker 2: Well, she has a figure to maintain, she can't be

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Speaker 2: eating too much as a manneicain.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like the jealousy. Finally, stepped in for you. Jealousy, Courtney,

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Speaker 1: can you counter?

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Speaker 4: Okay?

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Speaker 3: So I was on the state with this guy. We

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Speaker 3: finished our date and he said there was one last

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Speaker 3: thing that he needed to do. He asked, I know,

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Speaker 3: he asked me to close my eyes. So yeah, I

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Speaker 3: was thinking, you know what, He's gonna grab me flowers

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Speaker 3: or something special. So he finally said open them and

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Speaker 3: he ended up signing his name in sharpie on my shoes.

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Speaker 1: What I would be so mad? Why?

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Speaker 3: But this is the best part. He said, You're welcome.

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Speaker 3: One day will be worth millions.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, is he famous?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: No surprise for out with Lebron Jays? I know? All right?

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Speaker 1: On to round two, Jenna, tossing it back to you.

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Speaker 4: Okay. So I had this guy spend the night at

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Speaker 4: my place and in the middle of the night, I

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Speaker 4: wake up and I see him walking, but he's going

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Speaker 4: to the corner of my room and I'm like, that's weird.

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Speaker 4: I hear something and he's peeing on my plan.

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Speaker 1: At least container.

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Speaker 2: Drug. I had a boyfriend pie in a clauset once,

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Speaker 2: like do you rub their nose in it?

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Speaker 1: Like? What do you do again? What did you do? Jenna?

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Speaker 4: Well, so I started yelling at him and be like,

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Speaker 4: what the you know, what are you doing? And he

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Speaker 4: acted like he was sleepwalking. But I didn't really buy it,

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Speaker 4: and I kicked him out. Oh here's the thing, here's

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Speaker 4: the thing. He texts me later, saying, it's your fault.

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Speaker 4: Turns down the hall. It's too far to walk.

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Speaker 2: You should choose a unit that has a bathroom that's closer.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine what his apartment smells like? Tiny bladder?

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Speaker 1: Like success? Courtney back to you.

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Speaker 3: Oh geez. Okay, Well, I was at a bar and

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Speaker 3: this guy was one day with suddenly drops to the

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Speaker 3: ground and starts doing push ups.

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Speaker 1: Impressive. Oh yeah, she fell in love with it right away.

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Speaker 4: Guys, is supposed to do it before the date, get

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Speaker 4: your veins going a little bit, not during the date. Okay,

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Speaker 4: I mean clearly. I asked him, you know what is happening?

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Speaker 4: What's going on here?

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Speaker 3: He says he's trying to discipline himself, and I'm.

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Speaker 4: Like, okay, what does that mean?

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Speaker 3: And he said that every time he has an impure

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Speaker 3: thought about me, he needs to do push ups.

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Speaker 2: That is not the big kind of flattery in a way,

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Speaker 2: He's like one hundred hundred and one.

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Speaker 1: How many times did he do it?

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Speaker 3: Basically about nine more times in the course of Wow.

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Speaker 1: Just turning you just why wouldn't you just say you're hot?

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Speaker 1: Like that's all I needed to say, Like you're very

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Speaker 1: It would be offensive if you didn't get down again.

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Speaker 2: After that, we had the bell. That means we're into

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Speaker 2: the third and final round. We need your best stories here, ladies,

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Speaker 2: So dish antenna, Jenna, let's do it.

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Speaker 4: So I went back to my date's place and he

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Speaker 4: had this really cute cat. No no, no, because the

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Speaker 4: problem was I recognized it from flyers of a missing

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Speaker 4: cat that had been in that neighborhood and maybe his.

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Speaker 1: Cat went missing and then he found it or he's

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Speaker 1: returning it to the owners.

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Speaker 4: That was my hope. But I told him about it

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Speaker 4: and he was like, oh, yeah, I knew the cat

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Speaker 4: was lost, but look, he knows how to high five.

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Speaker 4: So I'm going to keep him.

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Speaker 1: All I know, I want to see a video of

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Speaker 1: the cat.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I called the owner out on my way out

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Speaker 4: and oh.

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Speaker 2: Goody, all right, extort me, Courtney, this is your last chance.

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Speaker 3: So a guy sent me to a location and meet

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Speaker 3: up and it turned out that when I got there

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Speaker 3: was a mattress store, and I thought this must be

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Speaker 3: like the wrong location, but I kind of walked by

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Speaker 3: the window and nope. He was definitely inside. He had

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Speaker 3: taken off his shirt and he told me he gets

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Speaker 3: rushes from hooking up in public.

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Speaker 4: Oh well, in his defense, there's never any one of

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Speaker 4: those mattresses.

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Speaker 2: That's fair.

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Speaker 1: All right, that's the final vow.

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Speaker 2: The match is over. We need to score this with

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Speaker 2: the judges. So alexis, who are you giving it to?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go according for the man signing your shoes?

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Speaker 1: How dare you want to vote for Courtney Brooks? I

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Speaker 1: go for Jenna with the support man, a kid in

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Speaker 1: the We're all locked up. The final vote goes to Jose.

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Speaker 1: I gotta go with Jenna with the high five?

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Speaker 2: Can relations dish Antenna? Jenna, you're today's winner of woefulness?

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Speaker 1: How does it feel?

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Speaker 4: It feels really kind of sad, but I'm not glad

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Speaker 4: to win.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: Hey, you know what, though, it's as bad as you

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Speaker 1: thought it was.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, you know what. It's validating.

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Speaker 2: It's validating, right, and if you want to be validated,

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Speaker 2: just like Jenna. Text in seven eighty five nine two,

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Speaker 2: and you could appear on the next edition of Battle

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Speaker 2: of the Tinder Dates your phone taps coming up right

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Speaker 2: after

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Speaker 4: This freaking Jeffrey in the morning