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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh, Sam, I love you so much. I

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Speaker 1: love you almost as much as the great stories that

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Speaker 1: are about to come up.

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Speaker 2: And you know what I love equally as much is

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Speaker 2: the two minutes of sponsors coming up, because they support

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Speaker 2: the show and make sure that we will have her happily.

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Speaker 2: Ever after my aunt got catfished on Instagram, they got

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Speaker 2: engaged in ninety days. Is this ninety day fiance?

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Speaker 3: Your mom got ninety day fianced by a catfish?

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Speaker 2: A little about my aunt. She's a former artist, extremely

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Speaker 2: overweight and disabled. He lives with her mom. I say

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Speaker 2: former because she used to be a pretty big on

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Speaker 2: the professional scene in our area selling her artwork, but

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Speaker 2: after her illness, she stopped making art until the last

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Speaker 2: year or so. By the way, this comes from Shi

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Speaker 2: Fasa and if you want to submit your own stories.

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Speaker 1: Go to Hours Last Showcase Storytime separate it.

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Speaker 2: Since she doesn't leave the house much, I thought I

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Speaker 2: would open up her world a little through social media

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Speaker 2: and give her a new platform to share her art.

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Speaker 2: I thought I did great fielding her questions, teaching her

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Speaker 2: to block people who made her uncomfortable, et cetera. At first,

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Speaker 2: she posted all about her art and it was super

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Speaker 2: cool to see her getting out there again. Now her

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Speaker 2: feet is mostly motivational quotes pasted over generic inspiring images

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Speaker 2: typical boomer on Facebook aesthetic down to very slimming filtered

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Speaker 2: selfies where she doesn't even look like herself. It's a

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Speaker 2: seven layer salad of cringe whatever. Right enter Andy, She

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Speaker 2: started showing us pictures of this smoking hot guy around

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiven twenty eighteen. We're talking nice Tan, totally ripped, perfect

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Speaker 2: teeth set in his head below the two sapphires he's

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Speaker 2: calling eyes. He's got a German shepherd and was supposedly

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Speaker 2: in the Marines. He looks like perfect social media bait,

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Speaker 2: like too dang good to be true, and he's into

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Speaker 2: my aunt. Andy also apparently lives in a city about

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Speaker 2: two hours away, so meeting him is plausible, but he

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Speaker 2: has to come to her since she can't drive. None

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Speaker 2: of us think he's real. He does weird stuff like

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Speaker 2: claim he doesn't know how to use Facebook or Instagram,

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Speaker 2: even though they met on Instagram. She started sending him

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Speaker 2: gift cards almost right away. On Christmas Eve, he was

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Speaker 2: supposed to pick her and my grandma up to take

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Speaker 2: them to our Christmas Eve dinner. We knew they had

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Speaker 2: a ride, didn't know who the ride was because usually

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Speaker 2: my uncle drives them. We get a call ten minutes

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Speaker 2: before my mom, girlfriend, and I are leaving for the

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Speaker 2: dinner saying that Andy hasn't shown up yet and they

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Speaker 2: need a ride. So we give them a ride and

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Speaker 2: wonder why the heck none of us knew Andy was

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Speaker 2: coming to dinner. Her Instagram posts about him are still cringeworthy.

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Speaker 2: She posted a picture of his dog and called it

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Speaker 2: her baby, their son, et cetera, and said of the dog,

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Speaker 2: Mama loves you baby.

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Speaker 1: Have you met this? Have you met the dog? Have

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Speaker 1: you met the dog?

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Speaker 2: Now you have a parasocial relationship with the dog. She

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Speaker 2: randomly texted me once asking how to do a background check.

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Speaker 2: When I asked what was up, she just said someone

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Speaker 2: was being shady and didn't say anything more on the subject.

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Speaker 1: Cut to this morning.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend wakes me up to show me a post

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Speaker 2: she made that says she started a painting of her

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Speaker 2: boyfriend slash fiance record scratch freeze frame. What is this?

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Speaker 2: The same woman who wouldn't stop bad mouthing my uncle

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Speaker 2: for getting engaged to his girlfriend after a year, saying

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Speaker 2: the girlfriend only wanted him for money. We hadn't even

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Speaker 2: heard of this guy until Thanksgiving, and to my knowledge,

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Speaker 2: no one except my grandma, assuming he exists, has met him.

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Speaker 2: Now three months later, she's engaged. Now my dad, her brother,

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Speaker 2: has been pretty disengaged, saying anything he needs to know

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Speaker 2: about this guy, he'll learn in time.

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Speaker 1: And I get it.

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Speaker 2: She's missed most of the major milestones that society sees

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Speaker 2: is important. As far as I know, she's never had

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Speaker 2: a significantly long adult romance. My brother and I are

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Speaker 2: the closest thing to kids she has. She hasn't had

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Speaker 2: a driver's license for.

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Speaker 1: My whole life.

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Speaker 2: She lives with her mom. She's lonely, and the attention

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Speaker 2: probably feels great, but I'm worried still. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to see her taken advantage of I feel like I

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Speaker 2: should talk to her, but I don't know how without

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Speaker 2: making her feel like I'm out to get her.

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Speaker 1: Lease.

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Speaker 2: Annie advice would be great, and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: I texted her, since when is Andy your fiance? And

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Speaker 2: she replied, he asked me about two months ago.

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Speaker 1: Funny, huh.

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Speaker 2: I'm currently resisting the urge to drive to her and

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Speaker 2: explain catfishing this.

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Speaker 1: Instant an update two.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for all your comments. I can't reply to

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Speaker 2: them all right now as my hands really hurt. But

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Speaker 2: here's the lowdown. Since this morning, I've acquired photos of

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Speaker 2: the guy and plan to reverse search them. Now that

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Speaker 2: I'm home. My girlfriend is helping me scroll through her

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Speaker 2: Instagram for clues. She found a post that suggests someone

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Speaker 2: has already expressed concerns, and I think that may have

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Speaker 2: been my dad. So if that's the case, I'll have

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Speaker 2: to tread carefully because she didn't take it well. But

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Speaker 2: I'm asking Dad for some more info. I hope to

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Speaker 2: get myself some cold art facts within the next couple

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Speaker 2: of days, and then gently open the conversation with her

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Speaker 2: when I can visit. I really don't want to push

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Speaker 2: her deeper into this fantasy she's constructed, so I hope

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Speaker 2: to engage her via googling, as was suggested here. I

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Speaker 2: don't know what the outcome will be, but please keep

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Speaker 2: me in your thoughts. I'm super worried it won't go well.

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Speaker 2: This has been eating me alive. I feel a great

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Speaker 2: deal of responsibility for the situation. I thought when I

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Speaker 2: got her started on social media, I covered all the

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Speaker 2: bases and cat fishing didn't even occur to.

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Speaker 1: Me at the time.

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Speaker 2: One would hope that their loved ones could be held

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Speaker 2: to a little Internet savvy accountability, but sadly, I think

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Speaker 2: I hoped a little too high and my internet safety

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Speaker 2: lessons fell sorts. I also feel really hurt orlmost betrayed.

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Speaker 2: I'm still not over the fact that I discovered her

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Speaker 2: engagement via an Instagram post. Yeah, the fact that she

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Speaker 2: didn't even tell you, of all things, instead of her

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Speaker 2: sharing this with us. It definitely makes me wonder if

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Speaker 2: Andy is encouraging her not to give us details, or

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Speaker 2: maybe she knows in her gut this isn't right and

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to overshare, or maybe she's afraid we'll judge,

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Speaker 2: or I don't know. Hopefully I will get some clarity

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Speaker 2: when I talk with her. Thank you all again. I

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Speaker 2: definitely feel like it can form a better plan using

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Speaker 2: the advice you've both given me. Update so a couple

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Speaker 2: of people ask for an update. Hope I'm formatting it

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Speaker 2: right after making the original post, I couldn't get the

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Speaker 2: situation off my mind. It was driving me nuts and

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Speaker 2: really just stressing me out. I talked it over with

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Speaker 2: my mom and asked my aunt to send me some

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Speaker 2: pics of Andy. She just why, and I told her

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Speaker 2: that I wanted to compare them to the painting of him.

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Speaker 2: She started, so I acquired the pictures, then did a

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Speaker 2: reverse image search as many.

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Speaker 1: Of you suggested.

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Speaker 2: Thank goodness, she sent me more than one picture of

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Speaker 2: the guy because only the last one got a hit.

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Speaker 2: But from there it was smooth sailing. Turns out the

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Speaker 2: real guy is a popular Instagram model. He's got info

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Speaker 2: about being a marine and having a dog with the

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Speaker 2: same name as Andy's dog right in his bio.

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Speaker 1: This dude was.

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Speaker 2: So lazy he just lifted the real man's basic The

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Speaker 2: dog even has an Instagram and I found more if

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Speaker 2: ohoto's of Andy that he sent to her. And to

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Speaker 2: make my life even easier, the real Guy has a

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Speaker 2: series of videos up in his highlight section labeled scammers.

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Speaker 2: I watched them, and basically it was him addressing what

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Speaker 2: to do if someone is being catfished with his picks.

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Speaker 2: I was super nervous, but confident I had what I needed.

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Speaker 1: A scammer farm.

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Speaker 2: He's like, I am so hot. A lot of people

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Speaker 2: scam people.

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Speaker 3: With my picks there's an entire business in another country

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Speaker 3: where they are using my pictures.

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Speaker 1: He's like PSA, and don't fall for it.

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Speaker 3: They want you to don't redeem the redeem the gift card.

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Speaker 4: If I was being across that, I would like have

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Speaker 4: an affiliate link for the scammers.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I get I get of this.

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Speaker 4: I understand you're doing a lot of work for using

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Speaker 4: my likeness. Yeah, and I can maybe even help out,

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Speaker 4: Like I'll send you some videos. I'll send you some

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Speaker 4: stuff to help make it believable. But I'm gonna need

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Speaker 4: forty percent. Man Riley, he's a businessman. Riley, Grandma not

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Speaker 4: make money off of it.

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Speaker 1: What am I supposed I do? His idea is too good.

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Speaker 2: So from there I slept on it. Then asked my

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Speaker 2: aunt if I could come visit. My mom helped me

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Speaker 2: stay calm beforehand, and the worst part leading up to

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Speaker 2: it was standing in their house saying hello and just

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Speaker 2: waiting to drop them off. I started off by saying,

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Speaker 2: there's actually a reason I'm here. I have something to

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Speaker 2: tell you, and you won't like it. Explain my motives

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Speaker 2: for getting Andy's picks, the reverse image search and finding

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Speaker 2: the real guy. I pulled up his profile and the

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Speaker 2: dogs and let her scroll through it while answering questions

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Speaker 2: she and my grandma had. She tried to call Andy,

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Speaker 2: text him and just it was weird guys to use

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Speaker 2: the phrase I'll go psycho on his butt in several variants.

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Speaker 2: He never struck me as this type of person, but

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Speaker 2: she was just finally blowing him up. And of course,

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Speaker 2: when she finally got a hold of him and asked

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Speaker 2: to explain what she found augh his voice, she had

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Speaker 2: him on speakerphone.

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Speaker 1: Baby, what you saying?

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Speaker 2: This was his answer to everything she said. Maybe we

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Speaker 2: don't need this, you just gotta truss. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: grab the phone and tell him to cut his crab.

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Speaker 1: But didn't.

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Speaker 2: I stayed a couple more hours answering questions and trying

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Speaker 2: to console her. Apparently been talking for like two years.

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Speaker 2: I'm torn on whether or not to believe that, because

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Speaker 2: as much as I love my aunt, I know from

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Speaker 2: experience she can bend the truth to fit delusion sometimes. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: my grandma, who was there the whole time, was being

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Speaker 2: her usual brusque self, so I pulled her aside and

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Speaker 2: tried to explain that this wasn't the time for tough love,

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Speaker 2: but for the band aid and kisses type of motherly support.

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Speaker 2: You agreed and thanked me, saying that she's been seeing

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Speaker 2: my aunt change, but she didn't say how. After we

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Speaker 2: went back into the main room, she was trying to

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Speaker 2: be a little bit more sensitive, but it doesn't come

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Speaker 2: naturally to her. From there, I needed to go work

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Speaker 2: and take care of some things before the work day ended.

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Speaker 2: Since then, unfortunately, it seems that despite my warnings that

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Speaker 2: she would not get anything that could be guaranteed as

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Speaker 2: the truth out of Andy, she insisted on demanding explanations,

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Speaker 2: and now he's got her convinced that everything they had

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Speaker 2: was real and that a friend had dared him into

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Speaker 2: the deception. So now, according to her, they're talking and

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of trust for Rebuilt. But you can

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Speaker 2: trust that we have full episodes for you guys to

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Speaker 2: listen to with stories just like this. If you go

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Speaker 2: to a Spotify, Apple podcast or your favorite podcast app

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Speaker 2: and search a Pocus story time, that's true, but there

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Speaker 2: is a little bit left to this story. I'm saddened

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Speaker 2: by the turn of events, but I did my job,

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Speaker 2: and she's an adult who has to make her own choice.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to let go of the outcome, which obviously

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Speaker 2: wasn't the one I hoped for and did not feel hurt.

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Speaker 2: I know she's going through a lot emotionally, and that

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Speaker 2: it was silly to hope my intervention would change things.

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Speaker 2: Hopefully she'll see the truth of it sooner rather than later,

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Speaker 2: and I can have played a part in that, and

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Speaker 2: that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: Poor, this is sad. This is sad. I really hope

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Speaker 1: that she is.

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Speaker 3: If she knows she's been catfished. At this point, what

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Speaker 3: are you like?

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Speaker 1: What can you do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's still willing to work it out with this guy.

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Speaker 3: I'm making fa I make it man. No, you got

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Speaker 3: catfished and you're startled work it out.

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Speaker 2: And you're still working that out. I refuse to move

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Speaker 2: back with my parents. I'm tired of their control.

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Speaker 1: Oh so I'm tired. I'm tired. Are you telling me

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Speaker 1: what to do all the time?

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Speaker 2: I twenty five female am of South Asian descent, brought

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Speaker 2: up Muslim, identify as such for the most part, and

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Speaker 2: come from a family where every minute detail of my

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Speaker 2: life has been decided for me up until two years ago.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Chumrie and if you

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Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to our slas

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Speaker 2: Shokey storytime suppering. I suffer from diagnosed bipolar disorder, depression,

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Speaker 2: and severe anxiety. Psychiatrists and therapist say it's because of

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Speaker 2: my father and mother, and I am prescribed slurry of

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Speaker 2: medication to deal with the issues. Anyway, I was always

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Speaker 2: super obedient, polite, extremely studious, creative and a good girl

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Speaker 2: all around. Until I got to college, of course, and

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Speaker 2: I discovered six boys, et cetera. I went through some

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Speaker 2: rough patches. So when I was twenty one, my parents

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Speaker 2: had had enough with me. They took me back to

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Speaker 2: the home country and forcibly had me married to an

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Speaker 2: a butt wipe who was a bit and someone I

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Speaker 2: had no interest in romantically or otherwise. One and a

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Speaker 2: half years later, I was broken down and going through

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Speaker 2: divorce at the age of twenty two, and by twenty

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Speaker 2: three I was a divorcee. Around the same time, I

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Speaker 2: met a wonderful human twenty six male who I am

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Speaker 2: still with on Tinder, and he makes me happy. He

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Speaker 2: is not the same race or of the same religion,

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Speaker 2: of course, because I just didn't want to associate. There

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Speaker 2: were tears, fights, physical et cetera. When they my family

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Speaker 2: caught wind of my whirlwind romance, so they forced me

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Speaker 2: to break out with him, my boyfriend. We parted ways

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Speaker 2: until I realized he still cared because he text me

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Speaker 2: about daily asking how I was, and despite everything, he

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Speaker 2: still wanted to be with me. So, with all the

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Speaker 2: abuse at home and a yearning for wanting to feel

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Speaker 2: loved and accepted, I saved up my money and moved out.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward to today. As of today, it has been

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Speaker 2: two years since I moved out, and now my parents

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Speaker 2: want me to move back. I live close enough where

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Speaker 2: I see them at least one to two times a month,

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Speaker 2: and I talked to them often. But I just don't

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Speaker 2: want to move back because I know it'll go back

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Speaker 2: to the way it was. My boyfriend recently moved about

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Speaker 2: two and a half hours away, and if I moved home,

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Speaker 2: I'd never see him again. But I love him and

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Speaker 2: want to be with them, So my parents keep throwing

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Speaker 2: this ultimatum in my face. If you don't move back,

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Speaker 2: don't ever come back here. You're not welcome here. We're

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Speaker 2: not your Airbnb hosts, we're not your Uber service to

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Speaker 2: pick you up and drop you off as you please.

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Speaker 2: You are not family, your poison. I'd post a photo

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Speaker 2: of a textual conversation, however this was burbal. I feel

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Speaker 2: genuinely unloved by them and pushed into a corner. But

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Speaker 2: I love them unconditionally, even after everything they've done.

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Speaker 3: No go to therapy for that. Undo that, undo that,

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Speaker 3: there's a therapy that can fix that.

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Speaker 2: But I also love my boyfriend. This upcoming weekend is

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Speaker 2: Labor Day, for which I was planning to visit my boyfriend. Instead,

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Speaker 2: my parents sprung a family vacation on me. They told

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Speaker 2: me they bought my ticket and that I need to

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Speaker 2: take or off from work. But I can't, and I

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Speaker 2: don't want to because I know they'll just tell me

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Speaker 2: about moving.

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Speaker 3: Back, which is that's insane, because that's something you do

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Speaker 3: for a child who's in elementary Exactly. You don't do

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Speaker 3: that too, twenty one year old adull do as a

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Speaker 3: job and a career and say you need to take

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Speaker 3: a week off.

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Speaker 1: I've bought your ticket. If you don't come, you're bad.

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Speaker 2: At this point, I'm so done with everything. I just

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Speaker 2: wish that I had a genuine solution. I feel like

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Speaker 2: an ostrich with this head in the sand, hiding but

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Speaker 2: completely exposed. What do I do? How do I deal

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Speaker 2: with this? It's taking a toll on me and there

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Speaker 2: is an update, but before we get into it. I

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Speaker 2: think it's it's natural to love your parents and for

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Speaker 2: them to be a very important part of your life

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Speaker 2: and your heart, even though they've hurt you. But I

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Speaker 2: do think that therapy could probably help with this. I

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Speaker 2: do think that you have to know that it won't

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Speaker 2: help either of you or your relationship with them to

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Speaker 2: let them continue to do this. I think that there

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Speaker 2: is a level of like low contact that could you

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Speaker 2: could go and kind of put your foot down, because

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Speaker 2: your relationship is not going to improve and they're not

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Speaker 2: going to love you more if you allow this behavior.

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Speaker 2: I twenty five female, am currently so torn up and wrecked.

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Speaker 2: This situation has escalated the point where I actually don't

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Speaker 2: know what to do. So on Friday I posted about

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Speaker 2: my qualms with moving back and how my family is,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. I had to go to a wedding this

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Speaker 2: past weekend and I wasn't going to go with my

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Speaker 2: family but with my uncle. I filled my uncle in

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Speaker 2: on the situation and he asked me what my plan was.

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Speaker 2: I told him I was not going to move back

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Speaker 2: because it was too much for me and that I

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00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,839
Speaker 2: needed to keep my distance. Said okay, and we went

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Speaker 2: to the wedding. It was enjoyable because we meet my uncle,

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Speaker 2: his family, and my parents and brothers were in a

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Speaker 2: public setting surrounded by friends. Anyway, I was acting like

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Speaker 2: nothing was wrong because I didn't want to signal to

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Speaker 2: my family friends that my parents and I were having problems,

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Speaker 2: so I continue talking to my friends. A couple of

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Speaker 2: hours into the event, my dad comes up to me

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Speaker 2: and says, you are a crap daughter. Your uncle just

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Speaker 2: told me you're not moving back. We we don't want

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Speaker 2: to be seen with you.

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Speaker 3: All right, listen to them. This is when you just

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Speaker 3: listen to these people. It doesn't make what they're saying okay,

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Speaker 3: just because they're your parents.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't control my emotions because I was upset. I

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Speaker 2: was crying and just wanted to leave. I ran to

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Speaker 2: the bathroom and he followed, so did my mom and brother.

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Speaker 2: My mom started yelling at my dad. Wedding was not

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Speaker 2: the time or place to discuss this, and my brother

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Speaker 2: twenty three mail was telling my dad that he was

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Speaker 2: wrong in this situation and that he should have waited.

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Speaker 2: In my opinion, it was wrong of my uncle to

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Speaker 2: disclose that information at the time, absolutely, and he should

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Speaker 2: have waited for me to speak with them. My dad

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Speaker 2: walked out of the wedding and left with my uncle.

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Speaker 2: My mom sat there and cried in the bathroom, as

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Speaker 2: did I. My brother just walked out and sat on

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Speaker 2: the benches. So many people came up and asked if

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Speaker 2: everything was okay, leaving it to my family to ruin

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Speaker 2: someone else's event. My mom passed it off as our

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Speaker 2: cat right away. Anyway, we my mom, my brother, and

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Speaker 2: I drove home to my parents' house together. My dad

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Speaker 2: comes downstairs and starts to yell at me profusely and

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Speaker 2: calls my uncle to use him as an alibi for

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Speaker 2: what was said. As it turns out, my uncle didn't

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Speaker 2: tell him anything, only that my dad should leave me

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Speaker 2: alone and I'll talk to him myself. He just made

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Speaker 2: that statement to get a rise out of me at

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Speaker 2: a public event. Dang, he tricked you. He did the

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Speaker 2: he did the oh so you're leaving, and people's like,

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Speaker 2: who told you? And he was like, you just did.

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Speaker 2: I started to get hysterical. I yelled, I cursed him out,

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Speaker 2: and I told him he was the reason I wasn't

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Speaker 2: living at home. He instead got up and pointed the

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Speaker 2: finger at my mom, told her she was the reason

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Speaker 2: why his kids disrespect him.

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Speaker 3: What an idiot, stupid literally straight up go it's your fault,

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Speaker 3: and then he goes, it's your fault, wife.

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Speaker 2: And that she was a terrible wife and a dishonorable woman.

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Speaker 2: He basically slandered her on the group chat with her

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Speaker 2: side of the family. She, on the other hand, has

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Speaker 2: never spoken out to anyone about what happens between them.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, while I was screaming, I fell over because

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Speaker 2: I couldn't breathe and my chest was in pain. My

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Speaker 2: brother picked me up and carried me to my room

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Speaker 2: and gave me water and told me to calm down.

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Speaker 2: It was an anxiety attack, a severe one. I cried

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Speaker 2: myself to sleep. In the morning, I went to my

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Speaker 2: mom's room only to find her crying because my dad

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Speaker 2: packed all of his stuff in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: night and left, apparently to Pakistan for good.

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Speaker 1: WHOA.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't handle the situation, so I went back to

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Speaker 2: my apartment. Later on, my brother calls me crying, saying

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Speaker 2: Dad sign the mortgage over to my mom and that

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00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 2: he put all the credit card information in her name

401
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 2: and all the bills and utilities know how to pay

402
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 2: the bills because they can't afford the massive house without

403
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 2: my dad's paycheck or pay the bills or the car

404
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,560
Speaker 2: payments or anything, and that it's all my fault and

405
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Speaker 2: if I moved home for good, it would all be fixed.

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Speaker 3: Oh right, it's all her fault and not the guy

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Speaker 3: who's responsible for doing it, which is the dead.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so now the rest of the family's be having it.

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00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 1: It's the dead's fault for doing this.

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00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 2: But at what cost. I am so broken. I haven't

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Speaker 2: told my boyfriend any of this, and I'm pretending that

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00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 2: everything is fine because I don't know if he can

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00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,640
Speaker 2: handle it well. I think that you should give him

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00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 2: that opportunity. I don't think you should, like, you know,

415
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 2: just assume that he can't. I think you're in a relationship,

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00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 2: and it seems like even when you broke up with him,

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00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,880
Speaker 2: he got you know, he still waited, though. I feel

418
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,480
Speaker 2: like you can give him a little bit of that load.

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Speaker 2: My brother, my brother doesn't know. I have two new

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00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 2: roommates moving in and we signed the lease already. If

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Speaker 2: I left, I would still have to pay the rent

422
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 2: because we aren't allowed to sublet, and they were only

423
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,679
Speaker 2: allowed to move out because it's with me, and you

424
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,160
Speaker 2: know what else is with us? Full episodes with stories

425
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,359
Speaker 2: just like this, hopefully a little bit happier, but you

426
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 2: can find them on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you

427
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,879
Speaker 2: get your podcasts. Just go to Okay story Time. So

428
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,919
Speaker 2: now I'm feeling severely stressed, feeling physically ill, hiding this

429
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,679
Speaker 2: mess from my boyfriend who I am seeing at his

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Speaker 2: parents place this weekend, admitting information from my brother and mother,

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00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 2: Feeling like my dad is using this as a ruse

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Speaker 2: to get me home to exact control over my life.

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00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 2: I feel financially obligated to support if this is real,

434
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,199
Speaker 2: but don't have the funds readily available to support two

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00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,160
Speaker 2: whole humans other than myself outside of paying my own

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Speaker 2: rent and bills. And there are some comments to finish

437
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: up this story. Oh, on one, you can't just sign

438
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,640
Speaker 2: a mortgage and bills over to someone, and you death

439
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,360
Speaker 2: can't just remove your name from a mortgage. Your dad

440
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,199
Speaker 2: is full of crap and trying to scare you all

441
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 2: into compliance.

442
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 3: Boom, thank you someone who actually knew that, because I

443
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 3: didn't know that and reply.

444
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,679
Speaker 2: Also, as for your boyfriend, this is obviously not his

445
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,199
Speaker 2: fault either, but it is some heavy crap. Talk to

446
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 2: him when you feel ready and able. This will test

447
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 2: the strength of your relationship, but at the end of

448
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 2: the day you will learn what kind of partnership and

449
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 2: support system you have in each other, which is valuable

450
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 2: information in any serious relationship. Exactly, you sound like a strong,

451
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,120
Speaker 2: caring and compassionate young woman.

452
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 1: And we'll make it through. And there we have it. Yeah,

453
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 1: don't let your dad. I feel like it is a trap.

454
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 1: It's a trick. It's a trap trying to control you.

455
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,639
Speaker 1: Don't let him trap you. Don't let him drop you.

456
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story, so we're

457
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 2: going to get into the next one. My best friend

458
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 2: demanded I leave my own birthday party to drive him home.

459
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: Is that really your best friend?

460
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 2: February ninth, twenty twenty five. Hello everyone, this is my

461
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 2: first post, so please bear with me. I twenty six female.

462
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 2: I've been best friends with Jake twenty seven mail for

463
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,120
Speaker 2: over six years.

464
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 3: Real suspicious j reals us we work at the same

465
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,440
Speaker 3: company and are also planning to go on a work

466
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 3: and travel trip soon.

467
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Lost in Thoughts zero

468
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

469
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 2: go to our slashokey story tenn severed it. So this

470
00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 2: situation happened last Friday, which was my birthday and a

471
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 2: big family gathering with over twenty guests, some of whom

472
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 2: traveled over an hour to be there. Jake was invited

473
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 2: and he told me he would come the night before.

474
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 2: We went grocery shopping together, but while sitting in the car,

475
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 2: he suddenly told me last minute that he wouldn't be

476
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 2: attending because he picked up an extra shift at work.

477
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 2: I was a little hurt because we always celebrate our

478
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 2: birthdays together and he didn't need to take the shift.

479
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,959
Speaker 2: Our company has plenty of people who could have covered it,

480
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 2: but I accepted it and moved on. On my birthday,

481
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 2: we were texting before a shift for context. Jake doesn't

482
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 2: have a driver's license and usually relies on public transport

483
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: or walks. I do have a license, but I don't

484
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 2: own a car. I use my mother's when I need it.

485
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 2: That afternoon, he mentioned that he would have to walk

486
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 2: home because public transport stops running at a certain time,

487
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 2: something he already knew when he took the shift. He

488
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 2: also told me he was feeling a bit sick and

489
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: asked if I could pick him up and drive him home.

490
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 2: Our boss even told him he could leave two hours

491
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 2: early to catch the last bus if he needed to,

492
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 2: but he chose not to. I told him I couldn't

493
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 2: leave my own birthday party just to pick him up

494
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,679
Speaker 2: and drive him home. I had guests over food and

495
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 2: drinks to serve, and I felt it would be rude

496
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 2: to leave people when they had put in time and

497
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 2: effort to celebrate with me. He replied, can't you just

498
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 2: leave for five minutes and drive me home?

499
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: Okay, that's actually insane.

500
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 2: I explained that it wasn't just a five minute trip.

501
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: I would be gone for at least thirty minutes in total.

502
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 2: He replied with a dismissive okay. Later, I checked find

503
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: mine to make sure he got home safely, and texted

504
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: him apologizing that I couldn't drive him, reminding him that

505
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: I normally do, but I really couldn't leave my own party.

506
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 2: That's when he got angry and told me my behavior

507
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 2: was unacceptable and that I was just making excuses. For

508
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 2: further context, I do drive him home fairly often, even

509
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 2: when I'm not working the same shift as him, but

510
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 2: this time I had a prior commitment when that he

511
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 2: was originally supposed to attend. I reminded him again that

512
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,159
Speaker 2: our boss had told him he could leave early to

513
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 2: catch the bus. At this point, he started arguing that

514
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 2: the town is dangerous at night, but we've both lived

515
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 2: here our entire lives, and nothing has ever happened to us.

516
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 2: I used to walk at night all the time before

517
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: I had a license, and another friend of ours, who

518
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: was also a coworker, regularly walks home late at night

519
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 2: without issue. I tried to understand if something else was

520
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 2: going on and asked him if maybe he was upset

521
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 2: about something deeper and just projecting it onto this situation.

522
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 2: I might have worded it poorly, but instead of talking,

523
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 2: he just exploded at me.

524
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: So that's a yes, sense, Yeah, definitely.

525
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 2: Something else is going on here. I apologized if I

526
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: said it in the wrong way, but at that point

527
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 2: he wasn't listening to me at all. I don't think

528
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 2: there was any right way to say it, honestly, I

529
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 2: think he's just gonna get mad at you whatever you do.

530
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 3: It's already absurd to be like, leave your birthday party

531
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 3: to give me a ride home.

532
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, he wasn't trying to understand my side either. I

533
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 2: told him it was my responsibility to be at my

534
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 2: own birthday party and that my guest had made an

535
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 2: effort to celebrate with me. I couldn't just disappear for

536
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 2: half an hour. He dismissed that and told me I

537
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 2: was a bad friend a bad sister because I said

538
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,959
Speaker 2: I wouldn't try my sister home either if I had

539
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 2: prior commitments and it wasn't an emergency, and that my

540
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: priorities were all wrong. In the end, he told me

541
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 2: he didn't want to see me for a while. I

542
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 2: am honestly confused and questioning our friendship after this because

543
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: of how he reacted. I really tried to understand aside,

544
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 2: and I get that he was hurt that I wasn't

545
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 2: there for him when he needed me. But at the

546
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 2: same time, I couldn't just leave my own party if

547
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: it wasn't an emergency. Now I don't know if our

548
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 2: friendship can bounce back from this, or how I'm supposed

549
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 2: to rely on him moving forward. If this is how

550
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 2: he reacts to something like this, what happens if we

551
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 2: end up in a similar situation, well traveling definitely don't travel.

552
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: With his man?

553
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 2: Is he just going to leave me behind if I

554
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 2: don't do what he wants? For context, him feeling sick

555
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 2: was related to a sore throat, so nothing that would

556
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: be classified as an emergency. So am I the a

557
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: hole for refusing to leave my own birthday party to

558
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 2: drive him home? And there is an update?

559
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: But what do you think?

560
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 3: Clearly you're the one in the wrong for not leaving

561
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 3: your birthday party.

562
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, to try your priorities are wrong.

563
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, your priorities are totally out of line.

564
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 3: So this is such a selfish individual. Yeah, he was

565
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 3: had a sore throat, you monster on. He could have

566
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: left early, but he didn't because he's a hustler.

567
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 1: He's a grinder. Grinder. No, you're not the a hole?

568
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 2: No, And I think that he was. I feel like

569
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 2: my vibe of this right now is that Jake is

570
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 2: trying to test the bounds of their friendship and in

571
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 2: a way like try and see if OP will drop

572
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: everything for him, And when Op won't. He's like, well,

573
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 2: there you haven't. You're not a good enough friend. February tenth,

574
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, about five hours later. I know this

575
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 2: is an early update because my post is just a

576
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 2: few hours ag, but I thought I will compress more

577
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 2: information and some things that happened in the last few

578
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 2: hours into an update. First of all, thank you all,

579
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, blah blah blah. To clarify some things

580
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 2: I've speculated on since in the comments, there are no

581
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,919
Speaker 2: romantic feelings involved. He's he's a mendlever, so there was

582
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: never any romantic interest between us. After reading a lot

583
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 2: of comments and reflecting on everything, I've decided to go

584
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 2: no contact aside from necessary work related interactions. I've also

585
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: made the decision to go forward with my work and

586
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 2: travel plans alone because I simply can't trust someone like

587
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: this to be my emergency contact in another country. I

588
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 2: had a long conversation with my parents and show them

589
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 2: the chat. My mom actually broke down crying. She told

590
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 2: me she's seen narcissistic behavior and red flags in him

591
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 2: for years, but things have gotten worse in the last

592
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 2: few months.

593
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: She said.

594
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: This has been weighing on her, and when she laid

595
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 2: everything out for me, I finally saw the bigger picture.

596
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,719
Speaker 2: Even though it wasn't a romantic relationship, I now realize

597
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: he was isolating me from other friends and family, always

598
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 2: trying to make himself the center of my social life.

599
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: He even tried to insert himself into most of my

600
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: other friendships, and looking back, anytime I made progress in life,

601
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: you would find a way to hold me back or

602
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 2: drag me down. My dad told me that some of

603
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 2: the recent arguments I had with my family were actually

604
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 2: their way of trying to get me to see what

605
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: was happening, but I just didn't realize it until now.

606
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: He also said he's relieved I won't be traveling overseas

607
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 2: with him. Yeah. My parents reassured me that while this

608
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 2: will be hard at first, I'll heal and cutting ties

609
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: now will make things easier in the long run. They

610
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 2: also pointed out things I had overlooked, like how he

611
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 2: tagged along on family holidays without paying, but was never

612
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 2: particularly grateful to my family for inviting him. I've started

613
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: talking to one of our mutual friends about what happened.

614
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 2: She's currently busy with the super Bowl, but once she's

615
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 2: back I'll tell her everything as objectively as possible. I

616
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 2: don't want to trash talk him or damage his reputation,

617
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 2: but if coworkers ask, I'll be honest about why I've

618
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: distanced myself. I genuinely do wish him the best, and

619
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 2: I hope he works through his issues and finds happiness.

620
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 2: But I'm done. My mom breaking down in tears was

621
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: the final straw for me. Even though a lot of

622
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: my social circles overlap with him, I know I'll eventually

623
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: sort everything out and move on. It honestly feels like

624
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 2: a friendship divorce, but I think this is a necessary step.

625
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,239
Speaker 2: I need to reevaluate who my real friends are and

626
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 2: how they treat me, and I might need to cut

627
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 2: ties with a few other people along the way. But

628
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 2: you should never cut ties with us because you can

629
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 2: listen to full episodes with stories just like this. Just

630
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast stapp

631
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: in search a bookay, start time, and there you go.

632
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left do this story.

633
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: But do you have any final thoughts?

634
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: There hadn't have been like plenty of warning signs.

635
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 2: Well, it seems like the family saw them.

636
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, so sometimes you know, it's best to listen to

637
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 3: some people on the ASP when they are seeing warning signs.

638
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 3: Don't listen to them blindly.

639
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, take a look, be observant, but don't just be like, oh,

640
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 2: they hate me, I'm not gonna listen to them. I

641
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 2: actually texted one of my close friends joking that we're

642
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: getting a divorce and that I'm filing for custody of her.

643
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 2: I really hope she won't be manipulated by him, but

644
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 2: right now I need to be prepared for anything. This

645
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 2: won't be easy, but I'll cut my losses and move forward,

646
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 2: hopefully towards a better future with better friends, ones I

647
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: can truly trust and who put just as much effort

648
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 2: into our friendship as I do.

649
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Good way

650
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: to end it.

651
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 2: I think that get better friends mentality to have take

652
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 2: custody of that one friend.

653
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: Yes, and you can egle custodies. I think that like.

654
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 2: When you when you stop being friends with someone who

655
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: lay another close friends is still friends with, it's tough

656
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 2: to balance.

657
00:28:58,560 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: Because you don't want to.

658
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: Like I always tried to not crap talk them to

659
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 2: that friend because I don't want to. I don't want

660
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 2: to sway their opinion, but you just you just you

661
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 2: don't really say anything good either. You just kind of

662
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: wait until they realize it on your own, and then

663
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: they start saying. You know, they're like, actually, you know

664
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 2: that was not cool today, and you're like, yeah, that

665
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: wasn't cool. They're like, uh uh this weekend they like

666
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 2: really let me down. I'm like, they did let you

667
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 2: down and then slowly been there, done, met with that

668
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 2: guy and then once so like, wow, I really don't

669
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 2: like them. You're like, yes, I've hated them the whole time.

670
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: It's very sa I've seen the light. Sam.

671
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 3: Here.

672
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

673
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: of its bad from our sponsors.

674
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 3: I refused to pay extra for my friend's bachelorette trip.

675
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: The bridal party got upset.

676
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: Well tell them to ef off.

677
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 3: My friend Shay, twenty seven year old female, is getting

678
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 3: married in November. I, twenty three year old femal, met

679
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 3: her at work about two and a half years ago

680
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 3: and we've gotten pretty close recently.

681
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes.

682
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 3: From user Lady tiger O two and if you want

683
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

684
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 3: storytime subrette and submit them there. So once she got engaged,

685
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 3: she picked about six bridesmaids. She didn't pick me to

686
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 3: be a bridesmaid, which was totally cool. We were close, but.

687
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,719
Speaker 1: Not brides maid close.

688
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 3: Shay and I still hung out a lot, so she

689
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 3: invited me and a few more of our coworkers, Alana

690
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 3: and Sandy, who were also not bride'smaids to the bachelorette trip. Shae, Alana, Sandy,

691
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 3: and I were all pretty close and we were excited

692
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 3: about the trip. Shay eventually started a group chat with

693
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 3: the bridesmaids, my coworkers, and I to start planning the trip.

694
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 3: It should be noted that Shay had both a matron

695
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 3: of honor and a maid of honor. The group chat

696
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 3: informed that we'd be going on a carnival cruise in

697
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 3: the summer. My friend Shay has been in deep debt

698
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 3: since I've known her and finances just about every She

699
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: asks if anyone would like to share a drink package,

700
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 3: basically meaning only a few of us would actually have

701
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 3: the drink package and we just sneak our.

702
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: Drinks to the girls who don't have one.

703
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 3: The idea was that we'd all pay equal amounts and

704
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 3: just split up the drinks. I personally have been on

705
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 3: a few cruises and I enjoy having my own drink pack.

706
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 3: Carnival specifically frowns upon sharing a drink pack and will

707
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,719
Speaker 3: cut you off and make your drink pack non refundable.

708
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: Call me a rule.

709
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 3: Follower, but I just did not want the extra stress

710
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 3: of doing that. I figured Ilana, Sandy, and I would

711
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 3: just share a room as the non bridesmaids and all

712
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 3: buy the drink package. The three of us had communicated

713
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: this ahead of time amongst ourselves. Naturally, the maid and

714
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 3: Matron of Honor make a group chat with everyone but

715
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 3: Shay to discuss the more intimate details. The Matron of

716
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 3: honor suggests that everyone sends one hundred dollars towards Shay's

717
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: portion of the trip, so that it could be entirely

718
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 3: paid for. The Maid of Honor agrees, and maybe one

719
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 3: or two of the bridesmaids that aren't going on the

720
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 3: trip say they'll contribute in other ways or send a

721
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 3: bit of money. Otherwise, the chat was pretty silent. Why

722
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: don't we all try that? Send send them to.

723
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: Your group chat.

724
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: Everybody, send me one hundred dollars right now for and

725
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 3: then I'll make us all a party. Yeah, see how fast.

726
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: No one responds.

727
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 3: I call my girls Alana and Sandy and ask their

728
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 3: thoughts on the extra money. The three of us all

729
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 3: admit that it feels a bit awkward contributing the extra money.

730
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 3: Alana and Sandy are both in a financial tight spot,

731
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 3: and it was a big deal they were able to

732
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 3: go to begin with. I I'm in a more financially

733
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 3: secure position, but still felt out of place contributing while

734
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 3: not being in the bridal party.

735
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

736
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 3: After about a day of the chat being silent, the

737
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 3: Maid of Honor reached out to be direct. I get

738
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 3: a text from her that says she thought she'd ask

739
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 3: me separately about the one hundred dollars contribution. With the

740
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 3: group chat being so quiet, I talk it over with

741
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 3: my coworkers, who never got a message from the Maid

742
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: of Honor, and after getting permission from Sandy and Alana,

743
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 3: I respond telling her that thee hundred dollars contribution is

744
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 3: a lovely idea for the idal party, but I felt

745
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 3: out of place and that us coworkers weren't really in

746
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 3: a position to offer the extra money. The Maid of

747
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 3: Honor sends me an incredibly passive, aggressive text back.

748
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: Goodness.

749
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 3: She tells me that because I signed up to go

750
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 3: on Shay's bachelorette party, that it's part of my responsibility

751
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 3: to make sure it's a special moment for her, and

752
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 3: that I need to contribute in any way that I can.

753
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: Is my presence not your present? Yeah?

754
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: Hello, it's frustrating that, like after the fact, after everyone

755
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 2: was already kind of on board to go, they've made

756
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: this new contribution kind of mandatory.

757
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: You know, you're kind of getting strong armed.

758
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like you can't be like, oh if anyone wants

759
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: to contribute and then get mad at people when they

760
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 2: don't want to.

761
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 3: She ends this message saying, I'm not trying to pressure anyone,

762
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 3: but I expect anyone who signed up to go pitch

763
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 3: in some shape or form to help cover Shay and

764
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 3: make it a memorable occasion for her. Shortly after her

765
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 3: private interaction with me, the Maid of Honor sends to

766
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 3: the group chat another message, saying, I absolutely do not

767
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 3: expect everyone to pay towards Shay's trip right now, or

768
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: to pay the one hundred dollars mentioned above. I do

769
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 3: expect anyone coming to pitch something towards her trip in

770
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 3: some way prior to leaving.

771
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 1: This can be ten dollars or fifty bucks.

772
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,919
Speaker 3: Or random five dollar bill to match your Starbucks order

773
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,439
Speaker 3: when you have it, Please keep in mind it doesn't

774
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 3: have to be but we want to celebrate Shay as

775
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 3: much as possible, and that includes covering her expenses as

776
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 3: much as we can.

777
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 2: Okay, this is how she could have asked if she

778
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 2: wanted that, If she wanted people to actually give money,

779
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 2: she could have said first and before she sent any

780
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 2: of those messages. She just sends to the group chat. Hey,

781
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 2: I thought it would be a nice idea if we

782
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: helped out with Shay's cots. If you want to donate anything,

783
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 2: If you want to chip in, let me know, no

784
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 2: worries if.

785
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: Not, Yeah, it'd be nice. Make it special, not like if.

786
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 2: You don't own it, you're the worst. And then like

787
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 2: throwing out like, oh and you're gonna get a five

788
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: dollars Starbuck thorder that you might as well help Shae.

789
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just weird.

790
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 3: Shortly after that message, Alana speaks up about how she

791
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 3: doesn't feel comfortable giving the one hundred dollars towards Shay's portion,

792
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 3: and the group chat shifts again. Both the Maid of

793
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 3: Honor and the Matroen of Honor sends super long texts

794
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 3: with phrases like usually the bride's expenses covered on these trips.

795
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 3: From the experiences I've had, I knew that when accepting

796
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 3: the invitation to go, regardless, the rest of us will

797
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 3: be stepping up to cover whatever we can. It isn't

798
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 3: easy on any of us either. I'm not going to

799
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 3: keep beating the topic of money. Only the expectations I

800
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 3: have on those who want to join the trip to

801
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 3: celebrate a bride, not a vacation.

802
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 1: Dude, I would like not go on this trip.

803
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 3: We all decided that this trip was something we chose

804
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 3: to do to celebrate Shae. With that being said, this

805
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 3: is not a selfish vacation. If you can afford a

806
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 3: drink package, you can certainly afford to aid in the

807
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 3: expenses of Shay's way. I have not planned on asking

808
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 3: anyone for money for goodie.

809
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 1: Bags or swag bags.

810
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: But a Shay cannot be celebrated appropriately, then I don't

811
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 3: feel that it's appropriate that the Maid of Honor and

812
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: I eat that entire expenditure, and I will be expecting

813
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 3: everyone to join in paying for that or opting out

814
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 3: of receiving that.

815
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: That being the.

816
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 3: Swag decors or favors for the duration of the trip.

817
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 3: Should it amount to over one hundred or more, so,

818
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 3: the reason we budgeted for this amount towards Shay was

819
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 3: so we could afford the other favors. I do believe

820
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 3: that as a friend, this is not a large ask.

821
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: It is mind blowing to me that this conversation is

822
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 3: even a topic. The audacity of enjoying the celebration of

823
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 3: a true friend but prioritizing booze over a friend is

824
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 3: quite baffling. The drink packages don't have to be paid

825
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: until the time of trip, so therefore there's plenty of

826
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 3: time to prepare for that payment. I am extremely saddened

827
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 3: as a friend, a mother, a sister, and wife, meaning

828
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 3: I have been the b that I have to even

829
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 3: address this with other women going on the trip anymore.

830
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: I literally would not go on the trip, and I

831
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: would tell the bride like, hey, you know, I'm not

832
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: feeling super comfortable anymore. Not anything you did. Yeah I

833
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 2: love you so much, not anything you did. It was

834
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 2: your bridesmaids. Your bridesmaids.

835
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 1: It was your maid of honor, and of honor.

836
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to uh hustle everybody for a hundred bucks

837
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 3: to pay for you.

838
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 2: And then's being like, Oh, you don't have to, but

839
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,439
Speaker 2: we're gonna make you feel bad.

840
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to, but we're gonna literally make

841
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 3: you feel like scum.

842
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: The tone of the entire group chat has shifted.

843
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 3: It's pretty much a stalemate from the awkward conversations at

844
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 3: this point, there has been a few girls in the

845
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 3: chat who have been entirely silent, yet all of the

846
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 3: message seemed directed towards my co workers and I for

847
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 3: speaking up. And by the way, you can speak up

848
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: on the fact that there are full episodes with stories

849
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 3: like this at your fingertips. Just go to Spotify or

850
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio or Apple podcast wherever you get your podcasts, search ok,

851
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 3: story time, and that's it's as simple as that. Then

852
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 3: you get the whole the whole kit. You got the

853
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 3: kit and the kaboodle, the whole world. Put them together,

854
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 3: you get the whole world in your hands. So we

855
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 3: have a little more here. I mean, let's just finish

856
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: it off, shall we. At this point, everything is so tense.

857
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,240
Speaker 3: I'm debating not even going.

858
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: That's our idea, that's what I would do, That's what

859
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: I said we're gonna do if we were you, even if.

860
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 3: I pay the extra money. At this point, it's noticeably

861
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 3: awkward and uncomfortable. I know someone has shared something with

862
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 3: Shay because she keeps apologizing to me personally for the

863
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 3: tension in the chat, though she claims she's unsure what's happening.

864
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole for not paying for

865
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 3: the bride?

866
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no.

867
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: Those maid of honor of the a holes they need

868
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 2: to stay in their lane.

869
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, these people are literally ruining her bachelor ad trip

870
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 3: by making everybody not.

871
00:38:58,719 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 1: Want to go.

872
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 2: Literally, if I was the bride and I found out

873
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 2: that like a bunch of people decided not to come

874
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 2: to my Bachelor atte trip because my maid or matron

875
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 2: of honor whatever, Yeah.

876
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: We'll leave them about money, I'd be like.

877
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 2: Dudes, what's your deal? Yeahill chill out, my guy.

878
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 3: There's some people just don't have any chill. We have

879
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 3: some comments comment number one. I think you will do

880
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 3: yourself a big favor if you bow out of this trip.

881
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 3: There will be drama and lots of it. If you

882
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:31,439
Speaker 3: go reply this one million percent, get to the other,

883
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 3: get the other two friends, and go on your own

884
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 3: trip and have a fabulous time without stress. There's another comment,

885
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 3: I would pass on the trip simply because it's too

886
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 3: awkward now, which is what we've been saying. I also

887
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 3: think this is too much money for someone else's celebration.

888
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think that's true, but it's still it's

889
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 3: just a It's more the principle. I am willing to

890
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 3: cover a fancy dinner for the bride, but not the

891
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 3: entire cruise. Reply covering the entire trip is asking way

892
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 3: too much. When people talk about wedding culture getting out

893
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 3: of control, they mean behavior like this. If money is tight,

894
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 3: then maybe they should have a more reasonable celebration. That's

895
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 3: what I'm saying exactly. Reply exactly, because on top of this,

896
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 3: a wedding gift will be expected. Along with the cost

897
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 3: of the dress and the shoes, it can get crazy expensive.

898
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 3: I think the Nid of Honor should have planned an

899
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 3: evening's entertainment, not a cruise. No, I don't think you're

900
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 3: the a hole. I think Shae invited extra girls, so

901
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 3: there would be extra people that chip in some money

902
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: for Shay. I don't think I would go on the

903
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 3: trip if you haven't booked your tickets yet. I would

904
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 3: say something like, when I looked at my finances to

905
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 3: do my tax as, I realized I really shouldn't do

906
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 3: this right now and bow out reply.

907
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. You're being used as an.

908
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 3: Automated tailer machine, and that's why that passive aggressive crap happened.

909
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 3: She doesn't want to pay for it, and she's pierced

910
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 3: that she will have to, hence the guilt trip on

911
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 3: you and your friends, and that, my friends, is the

912
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 3: end of that story.

913
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,359
Speaker 1: There you go.

914
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 2: I'm seeing some people on the shots saying that in

915
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: previous weddings that they've been in, they've paid for the

916
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 2: bachelorette party. But I think that's a good point because

917
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 2: it's the bachelorette party versus a trip like those are

918
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 2: huge different like cost.

919
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: Party versus cruise. Yeah, and then all that it entails, so.

920
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 2: That at least is my opinion, I think it's little

921
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: silly to expect people to pay for an entire trip

922
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 2: for someone.

923
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like I don't know, like imagine like planning

924
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 3: a destination trip wedding to like Biji yeah, and then

925
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 3: being like, by the way, have to pay for it.

926
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 3: I can't afford any of this, So you guys are

927
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,280
Speaker 3: all gonna have to pitch in, and if you don't,

928
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 3: then you all hate me and aren't my real friends.

929
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: And the wedding's canceled. Thanks, he ruined it. Thanks. I

930
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: hope you're all. I hope you're all happy ruining my

931
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: life forever. Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

932
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

933
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 3: quick three minute break from ask for more sponsors.

934
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,720
Speaker 2: My best friend became distant when I got pregnant because

935
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 2: of her past.

936
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 1: Ominous ooh, the intrigue, the mystery, the mystique. Where are

937
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: we going? What's happening?

938
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 2: I'm a big battle of emotions and hormones right now,

939
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,240
Speaker 2: So I'm saying sorry in advance for what is probably

940
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,399
Speaker 2: going to be a very errantic writing style. Needless to say,

941
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: I'm no George R. R. Martin, and thank God for that,

942
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 2: because we'd have to wait nine years for the next post.

943
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 1: If you were so.

944
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,760
Speaker 2: My husband and I have been married for nine years

945
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: and have been trying to have a baby for the

946
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 2: past five Honestly, it's been a long and grueling process,

947
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 2: full of tears, heartbreak, and disappointment. By the way, this

948
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 2: comes from deleted and if you want to smit your

949
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 2: own stories, got our slash okay, story time separate it. So,

950
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,760
Speaker 2: thanks to the miracle of modern science, I am happy

951
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 2: to announce I am now twelve weeks along with our

952
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 2: first child. All gratulations. We are overjoyed and pleased as

953
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 2: punch and plan on telling everyone next week once we

954
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: are all well into the second trimester. There's only one

955
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 2: minor shadow being cast over the happiest moment of our lives,

956
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 2: and unfortunately, that's my best friend, who I will refer.

957
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: To as Rachel.

958
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: Rachel and I have a friendship straight out of a

959
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift song. We met in ninth grade Spanish class

960
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: and have been bosom buddies ever since. What is this

961
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 2: Anne of Green Gabrels. We even went to the same

962
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 2: university and roomed together, although we have very different majors.

963
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 2: After college, she moved to another city about an hour

964
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 2: away for work, and I married my college sweetheart a

965
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 2: few years later.

966
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: It's been difficult to keep in.

967
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 2: Touch with life being what with life being what it

968
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 2: is and her not exactly living close by, but we've

969
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 2: managed and are still the best of friends. About five

970
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,240
Speaker 2: years ago, Rachel got into a relationship with and quickly

971
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 2: moved in with a guy whom she was is convinced

972
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:52,479
Speaker 2: is the one. I don't exactly like the guy. He's

973
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 2: not a bomb or an axe on aliber, but I

974
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 2: just don't think he's a good fit for her. Rachel

975
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 2: is desperate to get married and have children, and her

976
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 2: boyfriend has been telling her for years now he has

977
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 2: zero chi interest in having children and absolutely will not

978
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: ever get married.

979
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 3: If you're with the guy who's like, nope on all

980
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 3: of those you got to start over.

981
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: That's not a guy for those things.

982
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 2: I've told Rachel she can't change the guy and she

983
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 2: needs to end it and move on, but of course

984
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: she won't. She loves her boyfriend and is convinced one

985
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: day he'll come around and change his mind, et cetera.

986
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 2: Needless to say, after a year or two of year

987
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 2: or two of dating this guy, Rachel started becoming a

988
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 2: real debbie downer towards any of our friends or family

989
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 2: who got engaged or started having children. Long story short,

990
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: she's now at the point where she tosses wedding invites

991
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: into the trash ooh, although she always sends a nice

992
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 2: gift and will call me crying and half wasted about

993
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: how much it kills her, it's unfair, etc. Girl, you

994
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 2: need to break up with your boyfriend if this is

995
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 2: how you're feeling, That's.

996
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: What I want to know more than anything.

997
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the worst is that lately she has started

998
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 2: to cut peace a lot of her life who have kids.

999
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 2: She doesn't see her family members who have children, and

1000
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 2: she avoids her friends who do Altogether. I understand it's

1001
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 2: hard watching everyone around her move on into the next

1002
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 2: stage of our lives while she stays in limbo, but

1003
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,399
Speaker 2: it's honestly starting to affect me and how I can

1004
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 2: talk to her. The city Rachel lives in just happens

1005
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,760
Speaker 2: to be the living place of several of my family members,

1006
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 2: and my husband and I made plans months in advance

1007
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 2: to visit them over the holidays and we plan on

1008
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 2: springing our bonus news on them. Then I also made

1009
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 2: plans with Rachel. This all happened before I got pregnant,

1010
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 2: to make a day for her where we would spend

1011
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: it together, just the two of us. I'm now kind

1012
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 2: of dreading this trip. Rachel doesn't know what I'm expecting,

1013
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,879
Speaker 2: and I now have no idea how to tell her,

1014
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 2: and worse, I'm scared to death she will end our

1015
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 2: friendship over it, or at the very least be devastated

1016
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 2: and crushed. I'm ecstatic over my pregnancy, but I also

1017
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 2: care deeply for my friend and her feelings. Clearly, I

1018
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 2: can't lie or hide it forever. I think the news

1019
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 2: should come for me, but I don't know what to do,

1020
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,720
Speaker 2: or what to say or how to say it. Should

1021
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: I call her before the trip or send her an

1022
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: email so I can give her time to process or

1023
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 2: possibly bail. Or should I just tell her while we

1024
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 2: spend our day together in the city, or maybe even

1025
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 2: wait until after the trip to say something. And since

1026
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 2: I know I do have to say something one way

1027
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 2: or the other, what should I say? I don't want

1028
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 2: to hurt her feelings, but this is the best news

1029
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 2: of my life, and it's going to be hard pretending

1030
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 2: I'm not thrilled or that I don't really care.

1031
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:33,760
Speaker 1: Thoughts and there.

1032
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: Is an update?

1033
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 1: Honestly, I think you need.

1034
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: It's really nice that you are caring about her feelings,

1035
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:45,760
Speaker 2: but at a certain point, it's just exhausting to try

1036
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 2: and cover up your happiness for someone who is kind

1037
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 2: of keeping themselves in this unhappy state.

1038
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: Yes, what would my advice be to you?

1039
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 3: Don't pretend like you're not excited, don't pretend like you

1040
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 3: don't care. Be exactly how you feel. And then if

1041
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 3: your friend is like, why would you do that to me,

1042
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 3: she's not your friend?

1043
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 1: Cut her off.

1044
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 3: If someone can't be happy for you in the happiest

1045
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,439
Speaker 3: moment of you're a life, then they're not and they're

1046
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 3: not there for you.

1047
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 2: In case anyone is interested, I wanted to give a

1048
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 2: quick update to let everyone know what happened. I decided

1049
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: to send Rachel an email before my husband and I

1050
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: left to give her heads up and give her time

1051
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 2: to process and the option to bail if she wanted to.

1052
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: Here's what I said, Hey girl, how are you?

1053
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about her upcoming day together. I wanted

1054
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 2: to hit you up because I've actually got some exciting

1055
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 2: news I want to share with you first. You know how,

1056
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 2: mister baby Blues and I have been trying forever to

1057
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 2: have a baby. Well, I can now safely say that

1058
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: we can expect to have a little miss or mister

1059
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 2: somewhere around May.

1060
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 1: Thirtieth if we get drinks.

1061
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 2: I just wanted to give you a heads up so

1062
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 2: you wouldn't wonder if my refusal to drink was because

1063
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: I joined a cult. Ah excited, I hit the sales

1064
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 2: of Black Friday with you. Let me know if that

1065
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: still works for you. I got no response from.

1066
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 3: Her that of course you didn't, because it's not a

1067
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 3: text message thing to send to somebody.

1068
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: Now she's just gonna stew on that text message all day.

1069
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Thanksgiving Day, my head hurt or my heart hurt.

1070
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 2: But the hubs and I packed up and we went

1071
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 2: to have a Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle and a

1072
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 2: few cousins and the Resso's and kids, and my grandparents

1073
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 2: as well as my parents, who decided to make the

1074
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 2: trip out. The only hitch was that as soon as

1075
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 2: we walked in the house, I immediately had to run for

1076
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 2: the bathroom as the smell of roasting turkey decided to

1077
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 2: punt start my morning sickness. Not fun. Once my stomach settled,

1078
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 2: I walked out to wide eyed family members asking if

1079
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 2: I was okay, was I sick?

1080
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 1: Et cetera. I decided to.

1081
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 2: Break the news unconventionally and just patted my stomach and said,

1082
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 2: I hope that doesn't mean there's gotta be a vegetarian.

1083
00:48:56,280 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: Hey, you got a choking eh.

1084
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 2: Bay two seconds of blank stares before the realization hit

1085
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 2: and they were excited, screaming and squealing and hugging and

1086
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 2: crying from the parents and grandparents. I then proceeded to

1087
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: use my pregnancy to justify the amount of food I

1088
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 2: ate at dinner nice during the boast Turkey coma, I

1089
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 2: got a text from Rachel. It said, are you sure

1090
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 2: you want to be too thick from the baby to shop?

1091
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,359
Speaker 2: I felt so excited and texted her back and said,

1092
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 2: and miss out on a day with you?

1093
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: No way.

1094
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 2: She then said, okay, well, I think I'm gonna be

1095
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 2: too tired to do the whole two am rash? Do

1096
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 2: you just want to grab lunch and do a bit

1097
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 2: of shopping after? I was disappointed, but I was honestly

1098
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 2: relieved she didn't ignore me or bail altogether. So the

1099
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 2: next day we got lunch and she was noticeably quieter

1100
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 2: than usual and a little stiff.

1101
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 1: She didn't bring up.

1102
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 2: The baby at all, so I didn't instuck to other

1103
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 2: topics like I again, I understand that she's sad, but

1104
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 2: come on, your friend who's been trying to have a

1105
00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 2: baby for a long time. I just found out that

1106
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: she's gonna have a baby, and you won't even let

1107
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:03,879
Speaker 2: her talk about it.

1108
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so weird.

1109
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 2: You're not even gonna be like, oh my god, I'm

1110
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 2: so excited, like, have you picked out a name? Come on.

1111
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 2: We then went shopping and I tried to be enthusiastic,

1112
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 2: and I could tell she was trying to be the

1113
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 2: same way, but it honestly all felt wrong. At one point,

1114
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 2: she asked me if I knew it was a girl

1115
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 2: or boy, and I said we wouldn't know for another four.

1116
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 1: To eight weeks.

1117
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,720
Speaker 2: After a few hours, she said she was feeling tired

1118
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 2: and that she was going to bed early tonight because

1119
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 2: she and boyfriend were going on a trip early tomorrow morning.

1120
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 2: I felt really sad, and I'm ashamed to say a

1121
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 2: little angry with her. We hug goodbye, and then she said, congratulations,

1122
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 2: O Pie, I'm happy for you.

1123
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: I know you've been trying for years.

1124
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 2: I hope you still have time to talk after you

1125
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 2: have your baby. I said, of course I will, silly,

1126
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,839
Speaker 2: You're my best friend in the whole world, and here

1127
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 2: she is going to need an auntie as awesome as you.

1128
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 2: She just smiled a sad smile, and we parted ways.

1129
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 2: I told my husband the story, and he started to

1130
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 2: get upset and say how selfish Rachel is and how ridiculous.

1131
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 2: But I just asked him please not talk bad about her,

1132
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 2: and that she was in a difficult spot and frankly,

1133
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 2: it hurt me too much to listen to him trash talker.

1134
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: That's also fair.

1135
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 2: That's fair, but also I'm on the side. Our day

1136
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 2: could have definitely been worse, but it also could have

1137
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 2: been a lot better. I sent her a text yesterday

1138
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 2: saying how much fun I had with her and that

1139
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't wait to hang out with her again. But

1140
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 2: I haven't heard from her. I'm holding out a lot

1141
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 2: of hope, but I think I need to start preparing

1142
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: myself for the possibility that our friendship.

1143
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: May not last.

1144
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: That makes me feel horribly upset, So I'm just trying

1145
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 2: to stay busy and not let Rachel's attitude ruin my happiness.

1146
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: All in all.

1147
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,239
Speaker 2: I had a great Thanksgiving with my relatives, with a

1148
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 2: slight hiccup with the morning sickness and of course the

1149
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 2: awkward hang out with Rachel. But I did the best

1150
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 2: I could there. I don't know if I will update again,

1151
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 2: but I wanted to let everyone know what happened. If

1152
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 2: anything else comes up, I'll be sure to post thanks

1153
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 2: again everyone, hoping you'll cross your fingers for Rachel and

1154
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 2: me and that I have no more morning sickness and

1155
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 2: there isn't edit uh oh Pie's husband here. I will

1156
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: be taking this post down within the hour, and if

1157
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 2: the mods remove it, fine by me. I have a

1158
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 2: very upset wife crying that she's a terrible friend and

1159
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 2: that she should have done more for Rachel, that people

1160
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: are so sympathetic to Rachel and she should have done

1161
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 2: better with her, on and on and on. If my

1162
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 2: wife came across harsher in this post, it's because I've

1163
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 2: had several discussions with her, saying she needs to stop

1164
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 2: feeling guilty she got pregnant, that Rachel is upset, and

1165
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 2: that she needs to put her foot down and stop

1166
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 2: catering to everyone around her, which is what she's always doing.

1167
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: I've read both posts, and my wife has been more

1168
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 2: than generous in how she describes Rachel. Wow, Rachel is

1169
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 2: a selfish, stupid, spoiled brat who's got even deserve a

1170
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: friend like my wife. And if she hands the friendship

1171
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 2: then she's cutting out the person who loves her more

1172
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 2: than anyone else in the world. And we love when

1173
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 2: you listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

1174
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 2: Just go to Apple Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast

1175
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,439
Speaker 2: stop in sear Triple story Time.

1176
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: There is a little bit more, but I'm sorry.

1177
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 2: Are people in the comments saying that OPI is being

1178
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 2: too harsh?

1179
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: Are they?

1180
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 3: That's it' That's what that was wrapped in the fact

1181
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 3: that we're getting the husband's point of view.

1182
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 2: Love that the husband is standing on business on it.

1183
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,359
Speaker 2: And if anyone saying that Opie's being too harsh, you're insane. Yeah,

1184
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 2: because that was the nicest freaking response to a person

1185
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 2: who's absolutely being selfish.

1186
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: I mean, Rachel clearly has her own issues. Yeah, however

1187
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 1: her issues are self inflicted.

1188
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,280
Speaker 3: She won't break it off with this guy who explicitly

1189
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,439
Speaker 3: has told her I don't want the things you want.

1190
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: They literally they're just they aren't they're not a good match.

1191
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 2: They're not a good match, and she needs to break

1192
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: it off and find someone who is a good match,

1193
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 2: or stop freaking whining about it. And there's a little

1194
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 2: bit left to the story. My wife has done countless

1195
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 2: favors and made several sacrifices for her friends over the years,

1196
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 2: and Rachel barely ever reciprocates. She's not infertile. She's a

1197
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 2: more on who won't dump her boyfriend, who has made

1198
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 2: it more than obvious he doesn't really care about anyone

1199
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 2: but himself, then throws a tantrum before ignoring everyone who chooses.

1200
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:09,720
Speaker 1: To have a life.

1201
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 2: Thanks to those who actually read both posts and get

1202
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 2: what type of friend Rachel really is. I hope she

1203
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 2: actually does end the friendship and gets her toxic immaturity

1204
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 2: out of my wife's life, since my wife is entirely

1205
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 2: too loyal and loves Rachel too much to do it herself. Dang,

1206
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 2: this dude is this dude is not pulling punches.

1207
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the guy who has no rose colored glass.

1208
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 2: No no, no, he's like this woman sucks man.

1209
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 3: Yeah that's and he's right, but it's hard sometimes when

1210
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 3: you're this You're best friends with somebody for a long time.

1211
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 3: You learn to navigate their negative traits, and sometimes you

1212
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:48,759
Speaker 3: become blind to them.

1213
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 1: But this seems pretty extreme.