Speaker 1: Okay, I am back. Hi, let's mail bag? Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: super pumped for mail? Yes, yes, welcome to Rebel Eaters Club.
Speaker 1: I'm Virgie Tovar and Isabel Fox and Duke is back.
Speaker 1: Isabel is a health coach who helps people learn how
Speaker 1: to finally make peace with food. She's also a really
Speaker 1: good friend of mine. You sent us your most pressing
Speaker 1: questions about how to get the hell out of diet culture,
Speaker 1: and Isabel and I are here to answer. Mailbag. Is
Speaker 1: your superpower? Oh? This is this is my jam. I
Speaker 1: love I love a Q and A more than anyone.
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Okay, so you're ready to show off
Speaker 1: your superpower? Yes, I'm ready. All right. So someone asks,
Speaker 1: where do you draw the line between healthy eating and
Speaker 1: eating what is pleasurable? And my right to think that
Speaker 1: the point you are making is not to not choose health,
Speaker 1: but to be allowed to feel and seek pleasure through food,
Speaker 1: if that is your decision. Yeah, this is a great question.
Speaker 1: So I think that you know, again, this sort of
Speaker 1: comes down to the definition of health. Right, So we
Speaker 1: think of health is something that has just to do
Speaker 1: with like my micronutrients and my physical body. Right, but right,
Speaker 1: but the reality is, right, health includes mental and emotional
Speaker 1: health and pleasure and joy and being able to get
Speaker 1: pleasure and enjoy specifically from foods is something that we're
Speaker 1: really designed for and that's very important for our mental health,
Speaker 1: important for satisfaction, satiation, all of these various different, you know,
Speaker 1: benefits that come from pleasure. Right, I mean, pleasure is
Speaker 1: a health activity. Pleasure is health, pleasure is health. Promoting exactly,
Speaker 1: pursuing pleasure is a health activity. Right, So then when
Speaker 1: I think about health right as a giant pie of
Speaker 1: all sorts of different aspects of health that may include
Speaker 1: things like macro nutrients and wanted to a vegetable blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, but it probably also includes all of these
Speaker 1: other things. A big challenge when my clients come up
Speaker 1: they think, like, if they have a salad that means
Speaker 1: they're by definition choosing a salad over you know, the
Speaker 1: macaroni or the hamburger or whatever. And I'm like, put
Speaker 1: your hands together, have them both, right, like, let's get
Speaker 1: it all in, you know, and really looking take looking
Speaker 1: at health from the attitude of like, how do I
Speaker 1: get it all in? You know, my health needs are changing.
Speaker 1: Maybe one day my pressing need for a pleasure is
Speaker 1: just it's more pressing than my need for something else,
Speaker 1: and it's okay for that to be flexible and changing.
Speaker 1: I love, I love, I love Okay. Next question, what
Speaker 1: diet b as did you fall for when you were
Speaker 1: still stuck in diet culture? What I mean, I mean
Speaker 1: all of it. I mean, for me, the intuitive eating
Speaker 1: diet was such a big one. It's amazing, Like, people
Speaker 1: will go through my whole program, we'll talk about we
Speaker 1: stepping theory, aged will go through all the stuff, and
Speaker 1: still I often hear people say there's just still this
Speaker 1: part of me that feels like somehow, if I get
Speaker 1: it right, I'm gonna lose weight. Right, And so if
Speaker 1: there's this part of you that's like somehow, if I
Speaker 1: get it right, I'm gonna lose weight, or like maybe
Speaker 1: this legalization phase is just a phase. You hear that
Speaker 1: a lot with intuitive eating of like, well, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: eat a lot in the beginning, but then eventually I'll
Speaker 1: get to a point where I don't want brownies anymore. Right, Right,
Speaker 1: We've talked about talking about we were just talking about
Speaker 1: this where it's like this myth of like I'm into.
Speaker 1: It's like there's almost like an angelic like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: an intuitive eater now, I don't even want anything that
Speaker 1: isn't vegetable. And I'm like, this a rival myth is
Speaker 1: just it's just kind of poop garbage. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't think that that's a thing. I no longer Right,
Speaker 1: Not only do I not think that's a thing, I
Speaker 1: also don't think that's absolutely anything we should be striving for.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's only because of diet culture that that
Speaker 1: thing would even have any cachet or valor appeal anyway, right,
Speaker 1: I mean a way. And I like the arrival language,
Speaker 1: the arrival fallacy language is it's like, really it's like
Speaker 1: if there's any part of you that's like thinking that
Speaker 1: in the future your food is going to be magically
Speaker 1: different or like you're like going to get somewhere that
Speaker 1: you're not currently, that's a red flag, right. Really, Like
Speaker 1: diet recovery is just about my food is what my
Speaker 1: food is, and I'm cool with it today no matter
Speaker 1: what it is, right, And so if I'm still orienting
Speaker 1: towards food as like something that I'm going to achieve
Speaker 1: in the future, that is probably indication of some sort
Speaker 1: of underlying guyet mentality. Yes, yes, I love that. I
Speaker 1: love that. Okay, So next question, how do you avoid
Speaker 1: turning intuitive eating into just another diet? Oh? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I mean I letting go of narrow definitions of hunger
Speaker 1: and fullness would be like my number one thing, right,
Speaker 1: like recognizing that generally speaking, I think when people first
Speaker 1: learn about intuita eating, like, I did you know? I
Speaker 1: thought hunger was a growl in my stomach? Little did
Speaker 1: I know that hunger can literally just take the form
Speaker 1: of thinking about food. Right, let even the concepts of
Speaker 1: hunger and fullness go. I prefer concepts like appetite and satiation.
Speaker 1: So like my definition of appetite would be I want food.
Speaker 1: I'm in the mood for food. I could eat then
Speaker 1: great eat, you know, And satisfaction is just I don't
Speaker 1: want to eat anymore. I'm done. I'm satisfied. And sometimes
Speaker 1: this is where people get tripped up with the difference
Speaker 1: between satisfaction and fullness. People think if I'm full, then
Speaker 1: like I must be satisfied, and if I go past
Speaker 1: full that's bad. But actually sometimes you need to get
Speaker 1: really full to get satisfied. There are days where I
Speaker 1: could eat something and I'm like, oh yeah, I'm satisfied.
Speaker 1: I don't really need it anymore, and it's all like
Speaker 1: polite and cute and like not that full. And there
Speaker 1: are other days where it's like I'm to get stuffed
Speaker 1: right now, and that's my satisfaction point, like I need
Speaker 1: to get it in now, and that's okay too. And
Speaker 1: so I actually really encourage people to just let go
Speaker 1: of the concepts of hunger and fullness in general and
Speaker 1: focus more on appetite and satiation, which my definitions of
Speaker 1: that would be I want food and I don't want food.
Speaker 1: Love that. I love that, Okay, amazing, Okay, So this
Speaker 1: is I think that this question is a little bit
Speaker 1: about can you talk about what it was like sort
Speaker 1: of being in the depths of dieting and compare that
Speaker 1: to what it feels like now that you're not doing that.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I say this a lot to my clients.
Speaker 1: I still get super anxious. I still have lots of
Speaker 1: life problems. I still have a lot of relationship problems.
Speaker 1: I still go into get triggered and go into trauma response.
Speaker 1: I just do it about other things now, not about
Speaker 1: food as much, not about my body as much. You know,
Speaker 1: when I was dieting, like that became the epicenter, that
Speaker 1: became the place where all of my trauma energy, if
Speaker 1: you will, went. It was constantly all about controlling food
Speaker 1: and perfectionism and then this and then that, and the
Speaker 1: just constant fatigue of trying to hang on by my
Speaker 1: fingernails all the time, trying not to fall. That's every
Speaker 1: single day of dieting and then falling and hating yourself
Speaker 1: or falling right. And today, you know, like, on the
Speaker 1: one hand, I'm like, you know, initially, especially I would
Speaker 1: say in the first couple of years and to really
Speaker 1: solid re card as I felt so free around food
Speaker 1: and it's so amazing. And then there was there's this
Speaker 1: like liberation right that I experienced that was so amazing.
Speaker 1: But I do like to remind people just to like
Speaker 1: kind of give a dose of reality that not dieting
Speaker 1: anymore didn't actually solve my trauma. My trauma no longer
Speaker 1: attaches to food, but fundamentally, like I still am a
Speaker 1: human being who struggles with trauma and anxiety and like
Speaker 1: stress and relationship stuff, and so it's like food is
Speaker 1: just not one of them. And I actually think of
Speaker 1: it as like a privilege that I actually get to
Speaker 1: work on other areas of my life now because food
Speaker 1: is not constantly the thing that's distracting me from everything else.
Speaker 1: I get to work on my relationships now, I get
Speaker 1: to like work on my career challenges now in a
Speaker 1: way that I couldn't be as present for when it
Speaker 1: was all about food. But yeah, I think that there's
Speaker 1: this idea that like, once we're in recovery, like life
Speaker 1: is going to be a magical unicorn, just kind of
Speaker 1: similarly to like how we feel like once I've lose
Speaker 1: the weight, my life will be a magical unicorn. And
Speaker 1: that's not true either, And so I kind of like
Speaker 1: to like call that out absolutely. I mean, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think to that point, I love the idea of sort
Speaker 1: of getting to, you know, work on these other areas
Speaker 1: of your life, because if food is your number one
Speaker 1: way that you're coping with anxiety or unresolved trauma or
Speaker 1: any number of things, right, or like living in a
Speaker 1: fat phobic culture, like food is so immediate and constant
Speaker 1: and so connected to survival that you don't you don't
Speaker 1: really get past that. That's sort of like the in
Speaker 1: the hierarchy of what you're dealing, like how you're making
Speaker 1: care of yourself. That one's always going to be on
Speaker 1: top if that's if that's one of your coping mechanisms,
Speaker 1: you know, right, right, Like every New Year's resolution was
Speaker 1: like about losing weight in the past, Like this year,
Speaker 1: my New Year's resolution was to be more kind to
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. Very different, you know, yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: It was absolutely amazing. I'm so grateful for you sharing
Speaker 1: your time and your wisdom. I can't wait for our
Speaker 1: next encounter. I know what a street It is truly
Speaker 1: life changing when you stop worrying about food and you
Speaker 1: become free to use your mental energy and emotional bandwidth
Speaker 1: for other things, like helping a friend leave their toxic relationship,
Speaker 1: taking up macromay, creating elaborate zines about your favorite foods,
Speaker 1: or learning how to finally make a massive tower of
Speaker 1: creampubs called a crocam bush. If you have thoughts on
Speaker 1: the conversation you just heard, or even if you just
Speaker 1: want to say hi, reach out DM me at Virgie Tovar,
Speaker 1: DM the show's producers at Transmitter Pods, or shoot us
Speaker 1: a message at Rebel Eaters Club at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Rebel Eaters Club is brought to you by Transmitter Media.
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Shoshi Schmulevits. Sarah Knix is
Speaker 1: Transmitters executive editor. Wilson Sarah is our managing producer, and
Speaker 1: Greta Cohen is our executive producer and I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Bergie Tobar Rick Kwana is our mixed engineer. And thanks
Speaker 1: to Taka Yazawa who wrote some of the music we
Speaker 1: use in the show. If you love Rubble Eaters Club,
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Speaker 1: review on your favorite podcast app.