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Speaker 1: Without going too deeply into it. And this is not

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Speaker 1: for the sake of gossip, So we have to really

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Speaker 1: understand that. I have been thinking about Jennifer Lopez and

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Speaker 1: Beneffleck a little bit. First of all, she's had a

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Speaker 1: time of it. We know that, Like it's not been

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Speaker 1: her favorite year, I'm sure for many reasons. But it's

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Speaker 1: the relationship I'm thinking about. And I think that in

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Speaker 1: hearing so many different people talk about them, I don't

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Speaker 1: think people talk about celebrities as human beings. I think

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Speaker 1: people must assume that celebrities are superhuman in some way,

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Speaker 1: like that there's something different, and there is something different,

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Speaker 1: and they do have a different maybe drive or determination

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Speaker 1: or desire for fame or love or workaholic or obsessive

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Speaker 1: or perfectionist or money, want money, or whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: But I think people aren't thinking about the time it

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Speaker 1: takes to invest into a relationship, right, Like think about

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Speaker 1: parenting and your kids, Like you get out what you

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Speaker 1: put in and you see that around you. It's the

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Speaker 1: best formula ever and relationships. You know, if it's important

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Speaker 1: to you, it's important to me, the time you put

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Speaker 1: in you get out. You may not want to at

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Speaker 1: the time, and it may be a time in your

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Speaker 1: life you're not there or you know, you may just

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Speaker 1: not be in love. But these two pined over each

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Speaker 1: other for years, madly in love. Now. Ben Affrica is

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Speaker 1: an admitted addict. I believe Jennifer Lopez is probably a

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Speaker 1: work or success or fame or you know, adoration or

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Speaker 1: like vanity or something. You know, like she's she's definitely

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Speaker 1: got that drive and you have to be in some

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Speaker 1: regard to be at that level. And you see you

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Speaker 1: see a difference in certain people. You see a difference

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Speaker 1: energetically in Kim Kardashian then Courtney Kardashian. They're just not

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Speaker 1: the same person. And you see that Courtney Kardashian is

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Speaker 1: really what it seems like from the outset as a celebrity.

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Speaker 1: She's chosen to check out a bit. She's really invested

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Speaker 1: in her parenting. You see that she's invested in her health,

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Speaker 1: she's invested in her marriage. She's very invested in her relationship.

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Speaker 1: And you can see that while in the beginning it

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Speaker 1: must have been really fun and there's a wedding and

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Speaker 1: the attention and the making out and all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: Now it's settled a little because she has a young child,

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Speaker 1: she has multiple children, and you simply cannot succeed at

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Speaker 1: parenting and relationship if you're trying to fit fifty pounds

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Speaker 1: of shit in a five pound bag. I'm sure that

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Speaker 1: Courtney and Chloe have different struggles than Kim as it

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Speaker 1: pertains to parenting, as it pertains to success and fame.

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Speaker 1: So I say this because I noticed, as just a

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Speaker 1: person watching two public people that when Jennifer and Ben

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Speaker 1: got together, you know, they had been pining away for

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Speaker 1: each other for years, and they got together, and that

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Speaker 1: passion must have been so exciting. He was probably in

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Speaker 1: the wrong relationship, she was in the wrong relationship, and

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Speaker 1: it's really exciting, and you think someone's going to save

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Speaker 1: you and make all your dreams come true, and thinking

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Speaker 1: about each other for all those years must have been

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Speaker 1: extremely passionate, and when they got together, it must have

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Speaker 1: been really passionate. And then you're on the high of

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Speaker 1: that it's happening, and you think, I've remembered the beginning

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Speaker 1: of certain relationships, thinking love's going to conquer all and

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Speaker 1: to can cure the world, and we're never going to

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Speaker 1: be a part more than one night, and all these proclamations,

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Speaker 1: and you just think you're one person and you want

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Speaker 1: to do everything together. And they had that, and you

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Speaker 1: could see that, but they were She was dying to

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Speaker 1: express and profess and convey and let us know how

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Speaker 1: successful this relationship was. Like that takes a lot of effort.

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Speaker 1: Having done it on reality television, I realized it strips

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Speaker 1: you and you also were kind of on a high

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Speaker 1: from what the public thinks too, like they're involved in it,

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Speaker 1: and we were very much involved in How great did

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Speaker 1: it feel that everybody was talking about them and they

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Speaker 1: got together after twenty five years and the loves of

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Speaker 1: each other's lives and all that, and then she's emoting

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Speaker 1: and sorry, and then they were It was the middle.

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Speaker 1: I just kept from I kept thinking about the fact

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Speaker 1: that it was the middle of the summer, like July

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Speaker 1: and August, in the sweltering heat, and I remember she

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Speaker 1: was wearing like wide leg jeans and like either Milan

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Speaker 1: or Paris or some like metropolis in the heat, and

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, that looks so hotid it also looks exhausting,

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Speaker 1: and it doesn't seem like this guy like this guy

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Speaker 1: doesn't seem like he wants to be emoting in that

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Speaker 1: way publicly. And there are many famous, really famous people

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Speaker 1: that are under the radar, Like you really don't see

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Speaker 1: George Clooney in them all that much. If they're promoting something.

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Speaker 1: You see David Beckham and Victoria But like people, Julia

87
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Speaker 1: Roberts maintains a level of privacy, so does Jennifer Anison,

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Speaker 1: and they live in like La, you know. But some

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Speaker 1: people manage to not be that public. Ryan Gosling's figured

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Speaker 1: it out. You don't have to be in the public

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Speaker 1: eye even being in La, you know, or New York.

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Speaker 1: I've been through all of this and I'm not nearly

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Speaker 1: as public as any of these people. But there are

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Speaker 1: people that choose to be private. But they I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: to say they because he went along with it, He's

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Speaker 1: not a mummy. Chose to be extremely public the whole

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Speaker 1: way through on the boat making out. Then we come

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Speaker 1: into a movie. While that movie that she spent twenty

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Speaker 1: million dollars on takes a lot to produce, a lot

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Speaker 1: of time, a lot of money, a lot of choreography.

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Speaker 1: Then they did the documentary of the making of that movie,

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Speaker 1: then launching an album, then launching a tour, going to

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Speaker 1: Dulca Gabona, going to the met gala, going to the

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Speaker 1: movie premiere, going to Venice, to that fashion week like Paris. Fact.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you if I right now knew that on

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Speaker 1: June sixth, June sixth, I had a little party like

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Speaker 1: on the like it almost in the metpacking district. I

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Speaker 1: think it was like a Diane von Furstenberg and Barry

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Speaker 1: Diller were doing like a party and the I don't

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Speaker 1: know where the high line or something, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: just like music. I was having anxiety. Now that's not

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Speaker 1: the metal or anything even remotely like what Jennifer Lopez

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Speaker 1: says every day to get decked out for. But like

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Speaker 1: I already was like, no, I'm not gonna want to go.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to sit down and hear make up

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Speaker 1: for an hour and a half. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: have to put an outfit on it. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to go out on a get my picture taken. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to go same thing. This movie, this great

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Speaker 1: movie's coming out. I think it's m Night Shamali on

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Speaker 1: the watchers. I'm excited. I got the invitation. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, yay. And it's a movie premiere, but

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Speaker 1: like it's not now what j Lo and Ben were

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Speaker 1: doing with each of there. He had a movie, she

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Speaker 1: had a movie. I have a movie. It was it

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Speaker 1: was five hundred things. And for me, I just cancel

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Speaker 1: the Watcher because I don't. I want to just walk

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Speaker 1: on the beach and be free and have gray hair.

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Speaker 1: And I don't want to deal and I don't, so

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Speaker 1: I do nothing, and I still don't want to do that.

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Speaker 1: I want to be with my daughter. I want to

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Speaker 1: not miss anything. I want to be there every minute

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Speaker 1: that I have her experience her games, and and I

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Speaker 1: just want to be there and being there with her,

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Speaker 1: and then also being in a relationship that also takes

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Speaker 1: an effort and balance. You know, you've got to be

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Speaker 1: there for your kids, and you want to be a

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Speaker 1: good partner if you're in a long distance relationship or

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Speaker 1: if you have a career where you have to travel,

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Speaker 1: or the other per I'm just gonna say, there can

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Speaker 1: really only be one peacock in a relationship. I don't

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Speaker 1: think Ben wanted to be a peacock, you know, but

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Speaker 1: he's some version of a peacock. He's an artist, so

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Speaker 1: he's going and doing the dunkin donuts. You know he's

145
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Speaker 1: doing that commercial that's going to take work. He's going

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Speaker 1: to do something in addition. That shoot I think was

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Speaker 1: a Charlie Demilia shoot. And he had his own movies

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Speaker 1: and he's got his own How in the hell do

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Speaker 1: you expect somebody to have a successful relationship? Oh, I forgot.

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Speaker 1: I think they have six kids between them, maybe more,

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Speaker 1: maybe five. They have more than four children between them.

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Speaker 1: So you've got all of this shit. You're hosting the

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Speaker 1: mechl you're doing a movie, you're doing a movie about

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Speaker 1: a movie you do, and you're gonna have a relationship

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Speaker 1: and your complicated personalities. How could it be possible? Someone

156
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Speaker 1: needs to be like the more chill balanced one. But

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Speaker 1: also sometimes that person who's chill doesn't want to deal

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Speaker 1: with a circus. They don't want every second to have

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Speaker 1: to wait two and a half hours for their partner

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Speaker 1: to get ready, and everything's a show and everything's a

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Speaker 1: spectacle and everything's public. I did that for years because

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Speaker 1: I was broke. I never want to do that again.

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Speaker 1: I get off for TV shows all the time. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do that because I don't have to

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Speaker 1: be on that dog and Pony show. Yes, that last week.

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Speaker 1: Oh a book, Oh my god, I want to do

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Speaker 1: a book. I don't want to do another book. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do a book tour. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to put on six outfits and go do the morning

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Speaker 1: show tour. And I'm so much less busy in that

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Speaker 1: way than these people. I don't know how anyone would

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Speaker 1: expect anyone in that situation to succeed. And I bring

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Speaker 1: up George Clooney and them all because you can see

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Speaker 1: that they're really like spending time with their kids. They

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Speaker 1: pick their spots when they're going out. They're not not

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Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty four days a year in a

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Speaker 1: full grind while trying to do the rest of it.

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Speaker 1: I feel that it's impossible, and I think it's something

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Speaker 1: so we don't care about. If we don't care about celebrities,

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Speaker 1: to talk about ourselves, like the game starts to move fast.

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Speaker 1: You start to take on obligations. You start to say yes.

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Speaker 1: You start to say yes to the school events, to

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Speaker 1: the making the costume. You're going to the Little Cross games.

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Speaker 1: Your husband needs something, you have to support him at work.

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Speaker 1: You're trying to start your own business, you're trying to

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Speaker 1: be there for your kids. Someone's upset, you're doing college applications,

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Speaker 1: you're picking up like that. Think about how exhausted you

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Speaker 1: are from that, and you're the giving tree. And then

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Speaker 1: you're a relationship suffers because all you're talking about is

190
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Speaker 1: kids in soccer and all that stuff. And it's not

191
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Speaker 1: sexy anymore either, because no one wants to hear the

192
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Speaker 1: other person constantly mired in what they do. So I

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Speaker 1: just find that relationships are really hard, you know, and

194
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Speaker 1: it's terrible to criticize, like people are criticizing like whatever,

195
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Speaker 1: criticizing him and her like it's just two people that

196
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Speaker 1: can have it all. Would it even be fair? They

197
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Speaker 1: both have these seventeen kids, nineteen careers, forty two charities, skits, money, houses, kids,

198
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Speaker 1: and it's all just going swimmingly. Well, it'd be impossible.

199
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Speaker 1: It's impossible. Brand will be with me most of the summer.

200
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Speaker 1: She'll go to a sports camp for like a week

201
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Speaker 1: and a lot of this is when I think this

202
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Speaker 1: is more of like a Hampton's Long Island and Jewish

203
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,800
Speaker 1: communities things, to be honest, but people ship their kids

204
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Speaker 1: off camp and I don't understand it because sum are

205
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,400
Speaker 1: so fleeting and so short, and I know it's good

206
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: confidence building or structure or independence. I can't imagine school

207
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Speaker 1: being over, having like one or two weeks in the

208
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,240
Speaker 1: Hampton's are like feeling sunny and doing things, and then

209
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,000
Speaker 1: your kids being away the whole summer at camp and

210
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Speaker 1: they come back and it's a scramble. Because it used

211
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Speaker 1: to be that they come back and they have a

212
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 1: couple of weeks before school. But now these kids' sports

213
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Speaker 1: in high school they start like two weeks before school,

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Speaker 1: which I find to be such a violation because like, wait,

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Speaker 1: now you're fucking with my summer too, which happens with

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Speaker 1: every holiday weekend with all these club teams too, Like

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Speaker 1: they're relentless these sports. They just don't care about anybody's

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Speaker 1: time and anybody's vacation in anybody's summer. So I just

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Speaker 1: I think I'd be broken hard. She can go. I've

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Speaker 1: said to her a bunch of times, you want to

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Speaker 1: go anywhere? Thank God she doesn't want to go, because

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Speaker 1: I just like being with her. That's our time. It's

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Speaker 1: not time with school. It's time. We can go clamming

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Speaker 1: near our house. We can go vegetable picking, we can

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Speaker 1: go wakeboarding, we can go take the jeep to Montak

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Speaker 1: like it's an experience. I can't wait to go with

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Speaker 1: her this weekend and explore and walk on the beach

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Speaker 1: and go swimming like I just love the freestyle summer.

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Speaker 1: I really do. I'm a person who loves just like

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Speaker 1: being in the water all the time and my hair

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Speaker 1: being gross and like a real freestyle. I don't like

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Speaker 1: the socialite stuff. I don't like the events. I don't

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Speaker 1: care about any of that. I just want to be

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Speaker 1: in the water and like feeling, feeling healing from the beach.

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Speaker 1: So I'm super excited. So I'm finding that the more

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Speaker 1: I talk to people my age, people are really starting

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Speaker 1: to question their own choices, careers, relationships, financial situations, a

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Speaker 1: little purpose and like retirement and careers. So let me,

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Speaker 1: let me, let me get into it. So I have

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Speaker 1: friends that are evaluating their marriages, like they have kids,

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Speaker 1: the kids you know left for college and their home now.

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Speaker 1: And you realize, you just know, you've You're at a

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Speaker 1: certain age where some people around you have gotten sick,

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Speaker 1: people have passed. You have a greater appreciation for youth

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Speaker 1: and health, and you value people are evaluating their relationships

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Speaker 1: while some people really want to grow old with someone.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of insecurity. It's sometimes financial security. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you worry if something ever happens to you. Someone's there,

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Speaker 1: but what do you do in the meantime Because a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that are rushed to get married, they

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Speaker 1: wanted the whole package. Now they're sitting there saying, I

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Speaker 1: don't know who this person is and I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to connect to them, and this is my time now,

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Speaker 1: Like how am I going to use it? You know,

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Speaker 1: for some people to glow up, for some people it's

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Speaker 1: an affair. For some people to divorce. For some people

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Speaker 1: it's leaning in closer to your partner. I just mean

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Speaker 1: it's a very instrumental, interesting time. I'm hearing from a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. And then also it's in my body

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Speaker 1: to not want to do certain things, Like it's no

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Speaker 1: it used to be that I would say I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to do it, but like I'd agree to it.

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Speaker 1: And then now it's so relentless you almost feel like

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Speaker 1: you're an old person that's crotchety. It's like, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing that? Why because I don't want to? How's that?

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Speaker 1: Like you get a little you get a little belligerent

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Speaker 1: because you just know the time is so precious and

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Speaker 1: you don't want to do anything or be anywhere that

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Speaker 1: you don't really enjoy. You feel like it's a violation.

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Speaker 1: So it's a very interesting time. People at this age

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Speaker 1: don't want to be in the same grind unless they're

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Speaker 1: just addicts, like workaholics, which is a thing, but they

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Speaker 1: just they're trying to find a way to extricate while

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Speaker 1: still earning if you can and making sure you're secure.

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Speaker 1: But it's just like time is of the essence to

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Speaker 1: everybody now,