WEBVTT - BA Q&A: There's Nothing More Expensive Than Money. 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:09.920 It's time for the b ache q a a, the 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:11.000 big ach q a. 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:12.960 Okay, the b a q a. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.440 It is brown ambition question and answers. You have questions, 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:20.919 we have answers. Ish, But we're not your financial advisor. 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:23.919 We're not your doctor, we're not your theory. Nope, what 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:25.320 were your financial besties? 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:27.360 You'll ask besties. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:28.600 We're gonna just give. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.840 A little, you know, just just a little feedback. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:32.720 You know, you're supposed to take it with a grain 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:35.720 of salt, and you know then lead into the people 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:37.360 that you pay money to to help you make the 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:41.479 final decision own. Okay, okay, yeah, we b a q 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.000 a go ahead. 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:45.080 I was just gonna remind folks how they can send 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.000 us a question. You can go to Brandhambission podcast dot 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:50.960 com and click ask us anything, or you can hit 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.400 us up on Instagram. You can slide into our dms 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.320 with your questions there. We're at Brandambission Podcast on Instagram 0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:58.240 and if you feel so moved, why not follow us 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:01.560 while you're there? You know, well, you can also email 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.640 us Brandonmission Podcast at gmail dot com dot com. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.640 We have two really great questions today. 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.120 Two juicy career questions. Career slash. There's no such thing 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:14.240 as a career question where there's not some money involved, 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:19.200 so you know. But this first question comes from listener Jerika. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.360 Jeriica says, I recently landed a new job that more 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:25.880 than doubled my salary and has a compensation plan that 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:30.040 includes a generous sign on bonus and RSUs. I want 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:32.480 to make some smart money moves, but I don't believe 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.240 I need a financial advisor just yet. What are other 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:38.319 resources that can help me decide how to use my 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:39.640 additional funds? 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.240 Well, first, Mandy, I have a pop quiz for you. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:47.080 Jeriica was a name in a very popular cartoon. Oh no, 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.480 do you know the cartoons? It's okay, you were really 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:54.480 young a cartoon. Yes, it was like Saturvey Ways kids. 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.840 Now that's all that's right, because Mandy's like, so Jim 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:02.360 Jim is excitement. Ooh you remember Gemen the Holograms. I 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:06.280 think you're really really no, they kind of like they 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:10.920 had no yeah, so no Gem and the Holograms. For 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:12.840 those of you if you remember Gem and the Hologams, 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.400 please send me a tweet. The Budgeanista Gem and the 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.280 Holograms was the Jam and Jim that was like her 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.440 Sasha Fears but her name before she turned into jam 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:26.040 because she used to have earrings where she would like 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.280 like she would touch these star earrings and go from 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.960 jericha her normal plane Jane South into Jim, who was 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.920 like a singer and a rock star. And so like 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:37.360 when I saw the name Jerica, and it was because 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:39.880 they got the name Jerica because they did this national 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:43.120 nationwide search and my friend's parents helped to pick that 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:46.560 name Jerica. It's a mix between Jessica and Erica. And 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.560 so just a little trivia Jerica. 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:50.640 That was like trivia on trivia. I know. 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.519 So I'm wondering, Deerica if your mama named you that 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:53.440 after gem in a hologram. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.440 But anyway, Derek is like, can you get to my question? 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:55.639 I know? 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:58.600 So then also, can you explain what an RSU is? 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.440 Because you you explained this, she's got this signing bonus 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:03.919 and our SU's could you explain with that is first? 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.240 So now toll be knowble, Derek. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:08.600 I would love to. They're my favorite things ever or RSUs. 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:12.000 So RSU stands for restricted stock units. It is one 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.200 of the most common ways that companies. If you ever 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.320 hear about companies giving equity to their employees. It's one 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.079 of the most common ways they do that, and restricted 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.079 stock units. All it means is that they're going to 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:23.880 give you equity. They're going to give you stock in 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.400 the company, but it's restricted as to when you can 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.320 actually access it. So this is like the golden handcuffs. 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:31.400 This is one of the golden handcuffs. The other one 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:34.320 is commonly stock options. But yeah, so they'll give you 0:03:34.360 --> 0:03:36.600 a batch of RSUs, but you may have to stay 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:39.960 a year, and then after a year you probably only 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.000 get like one quarter or one third of that total 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.800 money pot, and then you have to wait another year 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:48.000 to get the next batch, and then another year. So 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.280 that's why they call them golden handcuffs because they keep 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:53.640 it trapped. But they can they can be such a 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:55.600 great way, especially if your company is on the up 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.600 and up. They can be a great way to increase 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:02.160 your wealth and assigning bonus too. That's just freaking fantastic. 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:04.800 I don't think that a financial advisor is always necessary. 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:07.240 I mean, you know your your financial picture better than 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.200 us at this point. But other resources, I mean, our 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:12.080 show is a great resource, and you're in the right 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.680 place Jericha. But let's talk about like what to do, 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:18.400 because really, at its core, she's got a windfall. She's 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.680 got double the salary, so she's got more money in 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.560 the bank than she's had. And then she's also got 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.279 this she doesn't say how much, but she's got a 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:29.200 signing bonus in some restrictest stock units. My mind immediately 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.360 goes to give the extra money a job, like the 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.080 extra money in your paycheck has to have a job 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.880 to do, or I promise you will disappear, it will disappear. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.600 What are some jobs like? Honestly, one of the jobs 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:44.200 I would say is one the job of paying down debt. 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:45.840 I don't know what your debt situation is. You didn't 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:47.919 mention do you have credit card debt? Do you have 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:49.919 student loan dead? Do you have a mortgage? Do you 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:53.279 have car note? So you know, dead is always a debt. 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:56.719 Ain't never that never clocks out. Debt be there first 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.599 thing in the morning, last thing in the evening. So 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.000 you you could put some toward paying down debt in 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:06.920 a systematic way. Google Snowball method and avalanche method and 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:08.600 you know, so that's one of the jobs that you 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.200 that your your money can have. 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:15.000 Yeah. Absolutely, And if you're able to, especially with your 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.200 signing bonus and the fact that you've got so much 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.920 more compensation, what are you automatically contributing to your four 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.880 one K? Because the very I feel like every paycheck, 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.320 the very first job has to be like, Okay, what 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:29.880 money is going to our long term investing, which has 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:32.320 got to be your four to one K or retirement account. 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:34.520 So make sure that you've got a healthy amount going 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:36.200 there and that you What I like to do is 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:38.800 automate a percentage and not focus on the dollar amount. 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.240 I think the dollar amount like freaks people out and 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.400 they're like, what do you mean that hundreds of dollars 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.280 is not going to go to a bank account? But 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.280 just do a percentage. You know, you can do your 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.920 ten or fifteen percent whatever makes you feel comfortable, and 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:53.400 make sure that that's automated, and then get out of 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:55.640 your own damn way by automating it, because then you 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.320 don't have any chance. So let the money disappear. And 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.440 then of course savings, making sure that you've got some 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:05.360 automated money, possibly with your signing bonus. Oh sorry, there's 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:06.200 all that saving. 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:07.800 No, I know, I know, No, it's just gonna say, 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:09.640 like July twenty eighth. Well, know, if we're in a 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:11.240 recession and you're going to want to have a sick 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:16.159 a good amount of emergency fund saved, you know either 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:17.560 way you should have, so you might be able to 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.720 boost that up with you know, this signing bonus, Like 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:21.800 you know, put that's another job, Like do you have 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.560 three months? Maybe you want to have six months? How 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.200 long did it take for you to find this job. 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.320 If you were to lose this job, how long do 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.239 you think it would take for you to replace this income? 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:31.680 That should inform how many months of savings that you 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:32.280 ought to have. 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.000 Yeah. Absolutely, on the plus side, like if you were, 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.240 for example, if you've if you've maxed that your six 0:06:39.279 --> 0:06:42.680 month emergency fund, you feel good about what you're saving 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.920 for retirement. You don't have any debt. Again, we don't 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:47.120 know your full picture, but let's say all those things 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.360 are true and you still have leftover cash from your 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:52.280 signing bonus. At that point, you could look to opening 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:54.599 or contributing to a roth IRA for the year. I 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.000 think the limit is like six or seven thousand dollars 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.640 for twenty twenty two, so you could max that out 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:03.359 and and it began. And again, this roth iray is 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:06.560 for you know, long term retirement savings, so you're not 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:09.800 trying to make money overnight in the stock market this way, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:13.760 so I wouldn't necessarily be too nervous about investing during 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:15.720 a recession. If we're going to be in one, we'll 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.560 find out. But it feels recesiony out here in the streets. 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:22.400 So you know, I think millionaires can be created during 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.400 recessions if you are if you still have a long term, 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.200 a long time horizon ahead of you, so you've gotten many, 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:29.760 many years in front of you, and you're able to 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:32.720 invest now when things are down because ultimately you can 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.640 buy more with the money the dollars that you do 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:39.680 have now. So those are just some juicy ideas and 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.880 if you want to, if you have a big purchase 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:43.920 in mind, I feel like, tip, what you're saying is 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.200 what the way the economy is going right now, maybe 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:50.800 hold off until we kind of get our footing and 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.000 see what's going to happen. And yeah, somebody who want 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:55.320 that extra money. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.360 You know, you got you know, extra hundred thousand dollars 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.320 and you're good, good, good good, and you're like, okay, 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.000 you like, For example, if a house comes on the 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.200 market right now that was normally let's just I'm just 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.400 making up number five hundred thousand. It's on the market 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:08.600 for two fifty, and you're someone who's like, I've got 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.840 two fifty, this is a great deal. I'm not going 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:12.680 to say don't get any you know, don't buy any 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.760 major things, because for you, that's a different situation. But 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.000 if you're someone who was like, Okay, I'm tentatively in 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.960 this space where I'm growing my wealth, and you know, 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.760 so I would be more cautious but also too less 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:26.280 but not least to put your money to work. Is 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:29.480 if you're doing all of those things, retirement savings, that 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.840 all those things, and consider starting to set aside to 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:36.120 invest for wealth that comes after investing for retirement. To me, 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:38.959 those are two different things. Investing for retirement says, look 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:40.880 around where you live now, this way you fin to 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:44.640 live when you're eighty, because retirement savings or investing is 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:48.440 really to maintain your current lifestyle. Investing for wealth is 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:51.160 to increase your current lifestyle and to lease something for 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.360 your airs. So you might be in a position where 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:55.920 you're like, I can now start to invest for wealth, 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.880 but that comes later after these other fundamental things are 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:02.240 in place. If you listen to the episode, the Brown 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.440 Avision episode before this that came out on Wednesday, before this, 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:08.280 we talked about how black and brown people, especially black folks, 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.360 have jumped in to the investing for wealth part before 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.079 they've done the fundamentals part, and they've done it through 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:16.480 crypto and as a result, it's been a detriment to them. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:20.440 So do the fundamentals first. You have money leftover considering 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.120 investing for wealth, meaning opening up a brokerage account and 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:26.280 investing for wealth that way, whether it's individual stocks, ets, 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:27.240 mutual funds, etc. 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:30.800 Yeah. Absolutely, And just one final note on the whole 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:34.800 restricted stock unit thing. Here is my simple rule that 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:38.760 I used to take advantage of the incredible RSU benefits 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.400 I got over the course of my career. It's basically 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.040 a windfall, and it can be a windfall once a year, 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:46.600 a few times a year, depending on the timing of it. 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.160 Every time I got a batch of stock, I would 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.160 immediately sell it. I had to stop caring what the 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:54.720 company's stock was doing. And you work there so you're like, oh, 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.440 I know they're working on this. I'll just like, you know, 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.560 not sell right now and just wait to see how 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.360 things prefer form. For me, it was much simpler to 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:04.800 treat it like a cash windfall. Forget about the fact 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:07.640 that it's in my company stock and immediately sell and 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:11.040 then diversify it through mutual funds or you know, buying 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:13.839 a purchasing other company stock. It also like if you 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.120 think about how much of your income is tied up 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.680 to that employer and for someone who if you don't 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.959 have a lot of assets outside of your paycheck at 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:23.840 this point, you don't have a lot saved for invested 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.400 for retirement or saved in the bank, like, so much 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.000 of your income is going to be tied up in 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:30.360 that one company, and you're also going to have your stock, 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:33.800 like your investment side in that one company. It makes 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.200 me too nervous. So as a rule of thumb, and 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.160 this is my personal opinion and advice with the lowercase 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.400 A is immediately sell it. Don't worry too much about 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.120 what the what the company's you know trajectory is like 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:47.960 sell it and then diversify it so that you are 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:51.080 you know better, You're not keeping all your eggs in 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:54.719 one basket, you know, and you can you'll have more diversification. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:56.960 So if something were to happen with that company, you 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.520 know you're not going to be too too, too hard hit. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.440 I'm talking to you Amazon workers. I know y'all like 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:03.640 to hoard your Amazon stock. 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:07.040 And Jerica, tell whoever named you that I said. It's 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.440 showtime synergy. Don't know what that means. It's from Jem 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:11.160 of the Holograbs. 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:15.360 I got it. I will google. I will google it later. 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.120 All right, let's take a quick little break and we'll 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.160 be right back with our second question, from a husband 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.400 who just wants to help his wife. We'll see, we'll 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:29.800 see what Kevin has to say about wifey. All right, 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.720 we are back THEA, Q and A with your next question. 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.040 This one comes from we love when we have male listeners, right, 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.120 especially a male listener who cares about his wife's career. 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.520 So let's see what listener Kevin has to say. He 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:43.400 calls himself. 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.240 I hope you used your fake name because your wife 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:49.280 might listening like, oh really, that's what we're doing. I mean, 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:50.960 it's not a bad letter, but I'm just saying, you know, 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:55.800 just how Vin gave us your name, now you gave 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:56.240 us his name. 0:11:56.360 --> 0:12:01.000 Kevin, all right, continue, Sorry, Kevin says, please help a 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:04.360 frustrated husband. My wife is the love of my life 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:06.840 on and we have an outstanding marriage and we just 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:10.640 celebrated our twenty fifth wedding anniversary. She has twice as 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:14.559 smart as me, more organized, more organized, gorgeous, and it 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:16.640 is outstanding at her job. I see how you made 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:20.480 it twenty five years, Kevin. Keep it up. In her 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.320 most recent job, they continue to offer her promotions for 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:26.320 supervising jobs, but she has turned down three times now. 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.040 When I ask her why, she says she doesn't want 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:32.600 the stress of being responsible for others. Normally I would understand, 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:34.720 but she comes home every day and talks about the 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:37.200 issues at the job and how to solve them. And 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:40.480 as a nonprofit CEO, I always tell her she sounds 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.960 like a supervisor. I think this is a great opportunity 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.640 for her to grow. Plus it will be a significant 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:50.439 increase in income. I repeated the stats about women's pay 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:52.680 equity over and over and even talked about what a 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.280 great example this would be for our daughter. Still she 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:58.880 says she's fine, but I believe she is just scared. 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:04.480 Please Kevin Duchy Duchy, so. 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:10.040 Well, one we have to understand that there are some 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:18.960 people who are not motivated by external things like more money, 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:23.959 and especially if they're fine and like like prestige, Like 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.600 you know, I'm a supervisor and I know this because Jarell, 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:30.360 my husband, was like that. I could not understand. I'm like, 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:31.640 they want to make you a super and they want 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.040 to do this and they want to do that. And 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:35.760 he'd be like, yeah, but I'm fine, And I thought like, 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.520 at first, I'm not gonna lie. I thought like, maybe 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:41.880 it's laziness. But now that he's no longer here, and 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.840 I see the legacy he left behind of how much 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:47.719 he was in his family's life, how much he was 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:50.960 serving the people around us, that Jerrell had mastered the 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:55.720 understanding of the word enough that he knew what enough 0:13:55.800 --> 0:14:01.160 looked like that he was like, because I understand external enough, 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.000 it allows me to have more than enough internally, meaning 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.640 I have more time for my wife, my daughter, my 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:11.079 twin brother, my sister, my family, my friends, my neighbors. 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:13.920 And he would not have had that extra time and 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:17.400 energy to pour into the people he cared about if 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:21.360 he leaned into the external more. Now I'm the opposite. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:25.640 I'd be like get it, you know, like and that's okay, 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:28.640 there's nothing wrong with that and there's no better or worse. 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.240 But I've got more clarity with him not being here 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:35.160 and really getting like stories from people that I'm like, Okay, 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:39.360 it wasn't that he didn't he didn't like aspire to 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.240 more as far as like what I thought more meaning better, 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:46.320 that he just aspired to enough. And I don't know 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.760 if that's for your wife, but I think a conversation 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.000 of really getting to the bottom before you say I 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:53.440 think because she's scared. Maybe that's not what it is. 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:56.320 Maybe she just knows what enough looks like for her, 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.640 but she might be scared. So having an open ended 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.240 convers with her about like, you know, walk me through 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:06.640 like your ideal life, like what is it that you see, 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.040 what is it you're wanting for us, for our daughter, 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.760 for our family, for our future, because you might find 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.840 that yes, it's fear, or you know, this is not 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.160 really what she wants to do with the rest of 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.520 her life, or you might find that she actually is good. 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.960 She's a rare person that has identified what enough is 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.560 and and sees that she has it and doesn't want 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:28.680 to trade in for more. External validation, which would leave 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.360 her less for you and your family. 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:34.440 Yeah, I think that's all really like, really smart and wise. 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.200 I feel like with Kevin, he says he obviously he 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.640 respects his wife and sees a lot of potential on 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.760 her too. But I feel like something is missing here. 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:46.320 Sometimes when a woman doesn't want to reach for more 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.920 and doesn't want to supervise and be a manager, she 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.280 may be getting the feeling and maybe she's not able 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.160 to articulate it, but that that environment is not going 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:56.240 to be an environment where she can actually thrive as 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.840 a leader. And what could be holding her back from 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:02.440 wanting to reach for a supervisor position is maybe she 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.440 sees other managers not getting the support that they need 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.640 to succeed, Like just because she's got the good stuff. 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.360 And I believe you when you say she can be 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.600 an incredible supervisor. I know there's so many untapped gems 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:16.000 out there. Am I saying, Jem, because you just got 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:19.520 that whole gem thing in my head. There's so many 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.200 on tap. Like I've said it before, I think black 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:26.040 women are the most underutilized resource in corporate America. So 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:29.800 much great leadership potential, but at what cost should we 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.400 aim for more. Like, you know, if she's in a 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.200 hostile environment where women of color are not able to 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.960 succeed and thrive, she may just be wanting to protect herself. 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:41.200 And for that, I'm like, okay, respect her wishes. There 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.920 that being said, like maybe talk to her more about 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.720 her ambitions, like Tip said, and ask her what she's 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.080 looking for. Maybe the right space for her is not 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.560 the place where she's at now, and you know, and 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:57.440 maybe you can. It's so hard to tell people to 0:16:57.560 --> 0:16:59.440 help people get to where you think that they should be. 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:02.200 I've had to learn how to just shut up and 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.159 listen to where they think they should be and then 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.320 trust that they know themselves enough. Yeah, and oh, Kevin. 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:10.919 We wereun it back. That was great that. 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:12.639 My husband's like, say that louder for that. 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:18.600 Literally, trust that people know themselves enough to know what 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:20.920 they actually want. I get it because sometimes we're like 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:22.720 they don't know because you know, if he could just 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:25.280 get a little push, if only Durell just knew, and 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.400 he's like, yeah, so you know how you're forty two? 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:33.520 So am I Yeah? So just like you say that 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:35.679 for the baby, I got it. I know myself and 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.040 so but you know, so yeah, I think that's also 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:41.560 too with our partners, that we you know, we're wanting 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:44.200 what's best and better and more. But here's the thing, 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:46.679 more is not always better. Just know that, Kevin, that 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:51.520 there's nothing more expensive than money. That money costs a 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:55.560 lot to make. You know, money costs a lot to chase. 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:59.199 You know, it costs family time, it costs energy, it 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:03.000 costs sometimes health. You know, sometimes they even cost people happiness. 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.200 Money costs a lot to make, and she might realize 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:09.320 that the cost to make more and to do more 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:12.520 is just not one that she's willing to pay, despite 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:14.960 the fact that she has the knowledge, you know, so 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.360 asking open ending question that there is just a really place, 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:20.280 a good place to start, and like, honestly, Kevin, I 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:22.359 want to know how it goes. Kevin, this is not 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.400 a one and done bru No, no, no, you don't 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.640 drop a good question like this, Like have the conversation 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:29.639 and even maybe if you don't know how to approach 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:31.679 the conversation, maybe have her listen to this part of 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.760 the episode, you know, and then be like, babe, is 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.439 you know does that resonate with you? And then you know, 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.760 then it can start off the conversation because like sis, 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.200 like tell us why, just why? Because we'd love to know. 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.240 It may make you, Kevin, who you say you're a 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.640 CEO at a nonprofit? It may make you a better leader 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:52.639 to understand why someone with her potential wouldn't want to 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.959 step up? Like what is it about that organization that 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.800 has made her feel like she couldn't She wouldn't be 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:01.440 happy supervising people? Something is missing? Like, that's what I 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:03.960 want you to figure out, Kevin, what is it about 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.920 that place that has shown her that she doesn't it's 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.440 not worth her giving her best. They don't deserve her best. 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:12.240 And honestly, then that last piece that keeps sticking with 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:14.359