Speaker 1: Trench coat. Roth was crazy. He just looked like a
Speaker 1: sex offender. Oh yeah, as we grew up and the
Speaker 1: world he made less.
Speaker 2: As a child, we didn't have enough frame of reference,
Speaker 2: But as we grew we're like, you know, I wish
Speaker 2: they'd stopped doing that. But yeah, And also, do you
Speaker 2: think you saw a human olid turtle in a trench coat.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, man, that guy was weird.
Speaker 2: But oh well, and you're just going about your day
Speaker 2: like it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Man, put some shoes on, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That'd be great.
Speaker 3: There's like a lot of other moves you can Sorry,
Speaker 3: you could do pants. Pants would be nice, were great.
Speaker 2: You have webbed feet.
Speaker 4: You got to like, come on, cause even if he
Speaker 4: didn't have pants on, then it's like, Okay, this dude's
Speaker 4: in a trench coat and nepads.
Speaker 1: That's already a problem.
Speaker 3: You got a big problem on it.
Speaker 1: That's already I'm thinking the.
Speaker 2: Green legs, yelds are green, I see all that. Come on.
Speaker 3: The Fedora doesn't class it up enough, no, not to
Speaker 3: notice green legs and knee.
Speaker 4: Pads and he's stinking like pizza.
Speaker 1: Giant red flag.
Speaker 5: Yah, chips in yours a racist the.
Speaker 3: Money turny stuff.
Speaker 4: I can't tell me as long as you know I
Speaker 4: can have any man I want to. Baby, that's actual
Speaker 4: and factual. Welcome back to another episode of My Mama
Speaker 4: Told Me.
Speaker 3: The podcast where we dived deep, deep into the pockets
Speaker 3: of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 4: And we finally worked to prove that Shatasha Williams is
Speaker 4: not just the long gone forgotten singer of the hook
Speaker 4: of Thuggish Ruggish Bone, is in fact a founding member
Speaker 4: of the group. They were the Bone Thugs and she
Speaker 4: was the Harmony. Whoa that we didn't we I got you, Shatasha, Baby,
Speaker 4: keep your head up.
Speaker 3: My name is David Bord. I'm lazy Germy. Now I
Speaker 3: guess this already. He's already feeling it.
Speaker 2: I get people don't talk enough about Aunt Tasha. She said,
Speaker 2: an Tasha, come on, and we ford about her, and
Speaker 2: then we they said in the name Bone Thugs and Harmony.
Speaker 2: We know they weren't singing, come on, justin Pasha. Thank you?
Speaker 2: Bory Can I call you by?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We just thought that's I prefer it, Bory Man. You
Speaker 2: and you're protecting black women by not forgetting what their
Speaker 2: accomplishments for what they did.
Speaker 1: Man, that's what I'm talking about. Come on, sang all
Speaker 1: of their names at the end of that song.
Speaker 2: Listen in the house.
Speaker 3: The knee bone is connected to the girl bone, and
Speaker 3: we forgot we forgot that part of the song. Oh man,
Speaker 3: that's intense. That's damn. Do you think you think they're
Speaker 3: ever sitting back and being like, damn, we really we
Speaker 3: owe her something, We really fucked her over it.
Speaker 4: I feel like they must know because I have done
Speaker 4: a deep bone dive, as we all have adults here.
Speaker 3: Sure, if this were Cameron's podcast, we would have had
Speaker 3: to pause you pretty hard there.
Speaker 2: But but this ain't that podcast. Pauses there we go gas,
Speaker 2: no breaks, some good. That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: I just like I just talk, and sometimes it's it's
Speaker 4: sometimes I talk about mouth meat stuff and it means
Speaker 4: whatever you need it to mean.
Speaker 3: You gotta put that on your website.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I talk.
Speaker 3: About mouth meat stuff that feels like a little bit
Speaker 3: of a signature detail about you.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it's I don't need to celebrate, It's
Speaker 1: just you know.
Speaker 3: How we are excited. You've already heard his voice. Our
Speaker 3: guest today. We've we've been trying to get him on
Speaker 3: for a long time and it's finally happening. And he's
Speaker 3: so funny and we're so grateful that he's here. He's
Speaker 3: a comedian, a producer, a content creator, a person of
Speaker 3: extraordinary breath and talents. He's wonderful, he's funny. You're gonna
Speaker 3: love him. Please give it up for our guests. Mister
Speaker 3: Kevi on stage, everybody, Man, there we go.
Speaker 1: Nice. I got a few in there, I got a
Speaker 1: few in the.
Speaker 2: Thanks you guys for having me on the show man.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here, man. This is this is
Speaker 2: the way to kick off the year. You know, Hollywood.
Speaker 2: We really just started working today for real, Yo, this
Speaker 2: is like it feels like the first day back at school.
Speaker 1: And I'm glad to be doing this with y'all.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, we're happier here. I was at my manager's office
Speaker 3: this morning and they said something similar to that, and
Speaker 3: I got real mad. I was like, y'all, niggas, what
Speaker 3: I didn't work for nine months, bitch, what you mean
Speaker 3: you just getting started today?
Speaker 1: Take the first off. There's work to be done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Get your
Speaker 3: bad ass back in the office and make some calls
Speaker 3: that aren't going to turn into anything. But call them anyway.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to read for the in the House reboot.
Speaker 2: And just lie to me. At least tell me I
Speaker 2: made some calls. They pad tell me something.
Speaker 3: That's all. That's all I'm asking for is give me.
Speaker 3: Make me believe you. Try do that thing where a
Speaker 3: car is coming and we trot across the street and
Speaker 3: we're not going any faster than when we be walking.
Speaker 3: But but trot. Show me the trot job.
Speaker 4: Man, that's a big that's a big way that I
Speaker 4: show people how I care about them. Yeah, the little
Speaker 4: trot I just picked the shoulders up. The feet does
Speaker 4: not change.
Speaker 3: The feet doesn't change at all.
Speaker 1: But give your mind.
Speaker 2: That's all we're looking ass for.
Speaker 3: That's how you're getting asked for it.
Speaker 1: keV.
Speaker 3: You came to us with the conspiracy theory that uh
Speaker 3: that I don't think I had ever heard before.
Speaker 2: Bory, where do you I've heard this before?
Speaker 3: You have heard this? That's okay, great, So so I'm
Speaker 3: the only idiot here. But you said, my mama told.
Speaker 2: Me never played with silver toys when there's lightning outside
Speaker 2: or you will be struck down exactly. So you know,
Speaker 2: growing up as we probably did, we're in the same generation.
Speaker 2: You know, action figures were a big part of our life.
Speaker 2: Ye I'm saying. We didn't have We didn't have iPads
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. We had cartoon we played outside,
Speaker 2: we had action figures. So at the time that I
Speaker 2: that I learned of this conspiracy theory, I had a Shredder,
Speaker 2: which was my prize villain. I was a big Turtles fan,
Speaker 2: you know, I had. I had a couple of legit
Speaker 2: Turtles and I ain't always get the actual toys. I
Speaker 2: got versions of them, you know, like you know, like
Speaker 2: I remember one year asked my dad for the Batman
Speaker 2: coop with with you know what I'm saying, And it
Speaker 2: came with Batman, and he just got me the coop.
Speaker 2: It was in the box and the Batman was gone,
Speaker 2: and I was like, what happened to the Batman? He
Speaker 2: was like a kid in Africa. We wouldn't have nothing.
Speaker 2: I was like, but he didn't just buy like a
Speaker 2: coop Batman came in that box. Somebody had opened it
Speaker 2: and taken the Batman out. And then somehow my dad
Speaker 2: just got came in the possession of the coop, but
Speaker 2: I was I have nobody to put in the in
Speaker 2: the coop, so I just had a random g I
Speaker 2: Joe man in the coop. It just didn't hit the same.
Speaker 3: He was just hanging out in the back of it.
Speaker 3: Came out and being like, y'all ain't about to throw
Speaker 3: this away, right, That's good because I know a boy
Speaker 3: who might like this quite a bit.
Speaker 2: The Salvation Army, Christmas gifts, you know whatever it was.
Speaker 2: So he gave me like half of what I wanted.
Speaker 2: But at this time I had, you know, I had
Speaker 2: mostly off brand men.
Speaker 1: We called him men. I had mostly off brand men.
Speaker 2: Just just.
Speaker 1: Legally you had to call them men, not a figure.
Speaker 2: And saw that toys or rust are KB toys. They
Speaker 2: saw that place that don't even sell toys. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Oh yeah, swap the g I Jojo
Speaker 2: g I exactly. They adjason right. So but this time
Speaker 2: I had actually, if I think for like a birthday,
Speaker 2: I had like four of the actual turtles and an
Speaker 2: actual shredder. So these were like the Krim Dela Crim
Speaker 2: of my toys. I play with them every day. So
Speaker 2: I'm playing with them. You know what I'm saying, it's
Speaker 2: a lightning storm and the power is out. So I'm
Speaker 2: really like, oh, this is you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm playing with these actual figures.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So my mom comes in and I got Shredder in
Speaker 2: my right hand. Never I don't know why this is
Speaker 2: such a vivid memory, Maybe because I was so confused
Speaker 2: by what she was saying.
Speaker 1: And she was like, she's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Boy? But put that down. You know you can't play
Speaker 2: with no silver toy. You're gonna get struck down by lightning.
Speaker 2: And I looked at the shredder and I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is plastic. First of all, this is not And I
Speaker 2: was not, like I've always been kind of a smart person.
Speaker 2: I'm in my hand. I was young enough to know
Speaker 2: that this cannot cannot conduct electricity at all? There is
Speaker 2: and his shredder stuff was coming off right, you know what,
Speaker 2: sing I played with the toy for real. It was
Speaker 2: like brown. You know what I'm saying, It's like the
Speaker 2: color of the skin under there.
Speaker 3: You get you get shredder in the bathtub one too
Speaker 3: many times and that ain't shredder no more.
Speaker 2: It was just they were putting a lot of you know,
Speaker 2: high quality stuff into these.
Speaker 3: Man that's just a Japanese man in football year that ain't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, wow, I did not know that.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the lore. I think there's a lot of lore
Speaker 3: in Ninja Turtles about where Shredder and Splinter come from,
Speaker 3: some of which suggests that they are connected directly, in
Speaker 3: some of which they didn't know each other at all,
Speaker 3: but always Shredder was like a big mob guy in
Speaker 3: Japan that then finds its way in to uh, New York.
Speaker 2: Somehow or something. I thought he was Italian for some reason.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you Turtles.
Speaker 4: That.
Speaker 2: Look, do you guys have accents on your resume? Do
Speaker 2: you have Italire accent proficient? Because if you don't have it,
Speaker 2: you need to add it. Oh no, no, no, I
Speaker 2: in the house. So yeah. So she was like, you know,
Speaker 2: she wasn't fussy. She was just genuinely concerned, like put
Speaker 2: this and I'm like, I'm inside the house. The windows
Speaker 2: are closed. I was literally I didn't say any of
Speaker 2: this because she's the black.
Speaker 1: Mom like you're saying.
Speaker 2: But in my head, I'm like, how is lightning gonna
Speaker 2: come through the world avoid all the objects outside that
Speaker 2: are actual silver catalytic converters, everything that's in the world.
Speaker 2: Go through my closed window and see this plastic shredder
Speaker 2: in my hand and strike me with lightning. Like I
Speaker 2: just was like, there's no way this could be true.
Speaker 2: But I put it down. I picked up like rock
Speaker 2: steady and bebop.
Speaker 1: She was like, all, I know that. You know.
Speaker 2: Those are purple.
Speaker 3: You know those a decent lightning fearing man. Go ahead,
Speaker 3: enjoy yourself in the dark.
Speaker 2: But I just like, b I remember, I never bought
Speaker 2: into it, like I don't have foil, I don't have
Speaker 2: a fork. This is a plastic man with more plastic
Speaker 2: that is just colored to look like silver.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I can't die. And I never heard no other parents
Speaker 2: say that. That was the first. It's actually interesting that
Speaker 2: Bory had heard that because I wasn't like at the
Speaker 2: other friend's house and they were like, man, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. Mone was on that, Like, I never
Speaker 2: heard that before or from anybody else. But it's good
Speaker 2: to know that that it's not that unusual.
Speaker 4: I've heard it just with metal in general, silver and specific.
Speaker 4: I had just heard it in metal, don't be fucking around.
Speaker 4: Oh got it, Yeah, lightning outside.
Speaker 3: I think that's what I had heard as well, is like,
Speaker 3: you can't like be running around with forks when you
Speaker 3: when it's lightning outside.
Speaker 4: Because to be completely honest, I don't have any silver
Speaker 4: in the house now, I'm thirty six years old, Like
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 3: Have We got to get you some silver.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're not so much silverer right now. You got
Speaker 2: so much silver, you.
Speaker 3: Got somebody you gotta have silver.
Speaker 1: In your house.
Speaker 4: You I don't believe you.
Speaker 3: No, I don't have an ounce of silver exactly. Trust Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're going crazy, you're doing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had always heard metal, like avoid obviously metal objects
Speaker 3: holding metal during lightning scums. I had never heard silver specifically,
Speaker 3: and I certainly had never then spread that out to
Speaker 3: even silver appearing objects. Do you think that silver there
Speaker 3: was a specific reasoning for silver for your mom.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny that don't make sense. I feel
Speaker 2: like maybe through the grape vine somebody said metal when
Speaker 2: she just was like, silver's metal. I'm just gonna take
Speaker 2: the metal part out on the silver because I've never
Speaker 2: questioned that part until today. Metal. I would have believed
Speaker 2: her even and the thing I think it was messed
Speaker 2: with me is the toy was plastic. So I was
Speaker 2: just like, this doesn't make any sense. But you know,
Speaker 2: how do black parents learn anything? Right? Like, I'm the
Speaker 2: Internet's really interesting because I'm realizing, like there's this meme
Speaker 2: that goes vie everyone to the while. It's like if
Speaker 2: you had this cover you was black, and it's like
Speaker 2: a blanket I recognize, And I'm like, how did so
Speaker 2: many black Where was this manufactured? Like so, I feel
Speaker 2: like that information came through like that, like the way
Speaker 2: those cookies became tens for like so and like who
Speaker 2: makes Who's the first person that does that? Why do
Speaker 2: we black people so many of us have that shared
Speaker 2: experience that you know, there's no cookies in the cookie team,
Speaker 2: but there's like soeing equipment or whatever. But I think
Speaker 2: it was one of those things, Like I don't know
Speaker 2: how this information got around, but.
Speaker 3: It does speak to the fact that, like to some extent,
Speaker 3: the black community that we refer to did exist in
Speaker 3: a much more active way when we were kids and
Speaker 3: obviously when our parents were kids and all of that shit,
Speaker 3: in part because they were all learning from the same
Speaker 3: six like templates of people where it's like everybody just
Speaker 3: learned the same six things, so we are in fact
Speaker 3: a community, and now the Internet sort of disrupts the
Speaker 3: ability for that to even be true anything, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of my life I've got,
Speaker 4: I've taken so much word is back from just like
Speaker 4: a dude sitting on the hood of a car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it has a car.
Speaker 2: I guess the confidence is key man man.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I remember my mom once told me that, uh, that
Speaker 3: Aretha Franklin's son had run off with what his name,
Speaker 3: that he was the army dude in fucking different world.
Speaker 3: And I can't remember his fucking name now, but he's
Speaker 3: a very fantastic actor.
Speaker 1: Louis James.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, mister.
Speaker 2: Goddamn, I'm gonna be dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was in Fargo season five. Glenn Turman, Yes,
Speaker 3: Glynn Turman. My mom told me for years that Glenn
Speaker 3: Turman had had like a secret affair with Aretha franklin son.
Speaker 3: They had run off together, and and that was why
Speaker 3: her and Glenn Turman didn't make it and all this
Speaker 3: ship and I've never even looked up to verify if
Speaker 3: there's any truth to that, and I've never heard anyone
Speaker 3: else make that claim.
Speaker 2: It was just my mom saying it, did you come home?
Speaker 4: We believed everybody was related. We were one of those
Speaker 4: like take Ali was for sure, Mouhammed Ali's daughter. What
Speaker 4: I quoted that too recently?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they look it up and you're like, oh, no,
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: I think it's because I was like, well, there's not
Speaker 4: that many famous black people.
Speaker 1: They must be relating.
Speaker 2: Half down the line. I got to connect someone at
Speaker 2: some point. There's a lot of Smith's, a lot of Jackson.
Speaker 2: Is that crazy?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: So so your mom says this to you, You agree
Speaker 3: to disagree, but you put down the shredder. Have you
Speaker 3: carried any of this onward in your life? Have you
Speaker 3: since been like weirdly superstitious or nervous around silver objects
Speaker 3: in a lightning storm despite what you know logically to
Speaker 3: be untrue inside of this.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: I think, as hard as it is to admit, I
Speaker 2: didn't believe my mom. I just could not defy her.
Speaker 2: And I think those are two separate things. Oh, in
Speaker 2: my mind, I was just like, this is just not true.
Speaker 2: But you know, small black children didn't really have a voice.
Speaker 2: Growing up the way we we did, we really couldn't
Speaker 2: question our parents. But I remember being like, this is
Speaker 2: just not true. And if she weren't here, I would
Speaker 2: be playing with this, and if I got struck by lightning,
Speaker 2: I would have been really surprised like that.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Let me tell you, as.
Speaker 4: Far as my family, large black men don't have much
Speaker 4: of a voice. I'm still not pushing the line on things.
Speaker 4: She says, Really, she's listening, she had a heart, she's
Speaker 4: from a different country.
Speaker 1: I just, yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's maybe they
Speaker 1: are sneaky. I don't.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, my mom just tried to FaceTime me.
Speaker 2: That's you fucked up on it, bro on it.
Speaker 3: Baby girl figured out how to get a feed and
Speaker 3: she's she's listening to her exactly what you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's listening. I'll call you back on I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I have a question for you guys, yes, specifically to
Speaker 4: this because this because this one is big for me.
Speaker 1: How afraid of electricity were you as a child? Though?
Speaker 2: Oh man, I have a funny story about this that
Speaker 2: I haven't thought about in a long time. I was
Speaker 2: a bright kid, but also not the brightest at all.
Speaker 2: So upon learning about conducting electricity and metal and stuff
Speaker 2: and how you shouldn't put forks in sockets, I went
Speaker 2: home immediately one day and was like, nah, ain't no way.
Speaker 2: And I promise y'all, as God is my witness, this
Speaker 2: happened for real. Oh no, went home for school that day.
Speaker 2: Take a fork, mediate sock, go to my room, close
Speaker 2: hers socket.
Speaker 1: That.
Speaker 3: I love that. First of all, I love that you
Speaker 3: needed privacy for.
Speaker 8: The he turned the lights down, candle, put that little
Speaker 8: rolls on that they were talking about earlier.
Speaker 3: And now it's forking socket time.
Speaker 1: Com please.
Speaker 3: You'll never find a fork like.
Speaker 2: So yeah, close the door, take this fork immediately, go
Speaker 2: to the socket and no, no, no condom, no foreplay
Speaker 2: jam it in on the socket, right, and I promise you.
Speaker 2: I saw a bubble like I got shocked immediately, and
Speaker 2: I saw what felt like a bubble the size of
Speaker 2: like you remember those little like twenty five things you
Speaker 2: buy a toy, you take them, so probably like half
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 1: Bubble go up my forearm. Oh no, all the way
Speaker 1: up here.
Speaker 2: Immediately I knew I was a superhero. I he said that.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is my because
Speaker 2: you know, we watching X Men and Spider Man, they
Speaker 2: all have that like event. And I spent the rest
Speaker 2: of the day trying to, like, you know, kind of
Speaker 2: like a Toby Maguire Spider Man like. I was like,
Speaker 2: how do I get the electricity? I don't realize I
Speaker 2: nearly probably killed myself.
Speaker 3: I am like, you're like, no, I know it's in me.
Speaker 3: I just know how to.
Speaker 2: Active figured out how to activate this electric like I
Speaker 2: should be flying, the electron should be flowing through me.
Speaker 2: I'm a science experiment now, my hero or villain, it depends.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's too early to tell. The first
Speaker 2: thing I gotta do is get these powers under control.
Speaker 2: Spent like the whole afternoon doing that, and initially I
Speaker 2: just was like, man, I'm kind of hungry, and I
Speaker 2: made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and never revisited
Speaker 2: that moment.
Speaker 3: First of all, I'm sorry that that happened to you.
Speaker 3: I was hopeful too. I was hopeful that that story
Speaker 3: ended with you having electric powers.
Speaker 2: No, it feels like an origin story for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was right there, man, the Spider bit me.
Speaker 2: I fell into the vat of science liquid and I
Speaker 2: just no powers.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 3: Yeah you did all right, though it's you did alright
Speaker 3: for yourself. I too as a child, I wasn't as
Speaker 3: afraid of it as much as I wanted to be
Speaker 3: able to access some powers. And so many of like
Speaker 3: great superheroes tend to come from like weird accidents like that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Like the Flash was my favorite growing up, Like I
Speaker 3: wanted to be the Yeah. I was like, I'm a
Speaker 3: run fast and so there would be times I wasn't
Speaker 3: brave enough to stick a fork in a socket. But
Speaker 3: there were times, and I remember this specifically, where like
Speaker 3: we moved to this neighborhood called Bellwood, which is like
Speaker 3: outside of Chicago. It's like a more black neighborhood than
Speaker 3: I was living in at the previous to that, and
Speaker 3: I would go outside and race cars. Like I would
Speaker 3: sit like in front of my house and wait till
Speaker 3: cars were passing, and then I would just run full
Speaker 3: speed next to cars, being like, yeah, I'm a fucking
Speaker 3: beat this car. And then at one point it was
Speaker 3: like a weird hour of the day where I'm racing
Speaker 3: a car and a dude yelled out, the fuck are
Speaker 3: you doing it? I was like, I can't I guess
Speaker 3: I ain't got no powers, and I don't think I'm
Speaker 3: a race cars no more.
Speaker 2: Cuz I took was one random outburst for you to
Speaker 2: stop your dream.
Speaker 3: I was like, this ain't superpowers. This is this is accountability,
Speaker 3: and I'm meeting it.
Speaker 4: I was afraid. I didn't think I could get a superpowers.
Speaker 4: But I have a very specific reason. I was afraid
Speaker 4: of electricity. I was a big latch key kid, right,
Speaker 4: and if you were a latchkey kid, it was don't cook,
Speaker 4: was like the big thing, right, do not cook. Don't
Speaker 4: fucking cook. So mom was gone, I cook immediately because
Speaker 4: we didn't have anything good in the house. Because after
Speaker 4: school we didn't have anything good. I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna make a tuna fish sandwich. But I was like,
Speaker 4: let me church this up a bit. You know, it's
Speaker 4: you know, it's better than a tuna's fish sandwich, A
Speaker 4: hot tune of melt right, So.
Speaker 3: I'm saying I'm saying it turned out smart.
Speaker 4: So I fucking I took the can off, I drained
Speaker 4: the juice, and then I was like, I'll just throw
Speaker 4: the can in the microwave. Oh no, Like, I just
Speaker 4: throw the can in the microwave to heat it up right,
Speaker 4: Oh god no, And I put it in there and
Speaker 4: I'm sitting because I'm I could have been more than
Speaker 4: eight or nine. I'm sitting about three inches away from
Speaker 4: that bitch. And there was like four seconds and maybe
Speaker 4: there was like a lightning bolt that went from the
Speaker 4: top of the can to the side of the can
Speaker 4: and it was like oh bright, and it hurt my
Speaker 4: eyes and I backed up. And ever since then, I've
Speaker 4: been so afraid of like I fucking because I thought
Speaker 4: the whole house is going to bring down. And ever
Speaker 4: she said, I've been so afraid of electricity.
Speaker 1: I've even say, you be afraid of tuna.
Speaker 2: Like you know what, man, I've been nowhere near tuna
Speaker 2: ever since. Get that album away from me.
Speaker 1: If anything, I doubled down.
Speaker 2: Anything that day or were you know, I just.
Speaker 1: Pulled it out and made it a cold tunis Oh man.
Speaker 2: Not deter You're like, Okay, that's out.
Speaker 3: I'm just going yeah, you ate that radiated tuna. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4: It wasn't like we had a bunch to just like
Speaker 4: throw around, you know what I mean, I already had
Speaker 4: a plan.
Speaker 3: You took a big swing. You could you could just
Speaker 3: skip it.
Speaker 4: Hilarious, man, man, I remember how I scared the ship
Speaker 4: out of me.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: So you didn't get the lightning powers that you dreamt of.
Speaker 3: You don't believe necessarily that that your mom was correcting
Speaker 3: all of this. Where where do you stand now in
Speaker 3: all of this? What are you telling your children? Your father?
Speaker 3: What are you telling your children as it relates to
Speaker 3: lightning and experimentation with forks and sockets and whatnot?
Speaker 1: You know what? I shoot, My kids are seventeen and fifteen.
Speaker 2: I realized I've never had a conversation with them about
Speaker 2: any of the safety of lightning period.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I think also because like my their generation didn't grow
Speaker 2: up outside as much as we did, so they're never
Speaker 2: like I can't even say they've ever been outdoors in
Speaker 2: a lightning storm, thunder lightning storm when they weren't like
Speaker 2: in a car or something. Yeah, so I never had
Speaker 2: to pass that along. It's so interesting how the thing
Speaker 2: about parenthood that really messes with my mind is like
Speaker 2: the money, but in addition to that, it's like, for
Speaker 2: better for worse, you really are responsible for somebody's worldview,
Speaker 2: like how they start off seeing the world then they
Speaker 2: either have to accept that change it. Like my mom
Speaker 2: was like, this is the thing about lightning, kids, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. And I had to reject that.
Speaker 2: But at least she put us, you know, she puts
Speaker 2: something out there. And I feel like that's the wildest
Speaker 2: thing about parenthood is like, bro, I don't even know
Speaker 2: what's happening in the world.
Speaker 1: Dude, don't listen to me. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't even know how good I'm doing it as
Speaker 2: a parent. Just just I remember one time it was
Speaker 2: really funny. I messed with my kids about this. We
Speaker 2: had like a what does an animal sound?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: We were doing that like it was like a little
Speaker 2: picture boss. No, no, it was like a picture book.
Speaker 1: It was like cow ca.
Speaker 2: You're like teaching them and I would be like cow,
Speaker 2: the cow says, move right. And I remember getting to
Speaker 2: like giraffe and I was like, you know, the draft
Speaker 2: does it make a sound that we noticed? And I
Speaker 2: remember thinking, and I did this. I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna make up a draft now, and I hope my
Speaker 2: kids go to school and fight to the nail because
Speaker 2: they're gonna believe me. So I was like, and the
Speaker 2: draft says, And I did that all the time. I
Speaker 2: made up like alligators, any animal that didn't have a sound.
Speaker 1: For sure.
Speaker 2: I was just like and the crocodile says. And I
Speaker 2: wanted them to just go to school or daycare and
Speaker 2: be like, no, man, my dad said, and he's right.
Speaker 2: He was running about cows. He was running about birds
Speaker 2: and ducks.
Speaker 3: You know, say like, why would he lie tell me
Speaker 3: that it couldn't possibly be because of his insecurity? Isn't
Speaker 3: mean because he don't know nothing.
Speaker 4: As one member of this panel who's not a father,
Speaker 4: I think you did the right thing. I believe I
Speaker 4: want him to not respect you. Think you don't know
Speaker 4: anything about nature. My dad doesn't even know what a
Speaker 4: giraffe sounds like. He's supposed to keep me safe in
Speaker 4: the world. You don't even know about a giraffe noise.
Speaker 3: If you want to run my household, you better know
Speaker 3: what a giraffe.
Speaker 2: Better make it up, man, until we see one and
Speaker 2: we're proven otherwise. And I remember we went to the
Speaker 2: zoo one time and they were like, they're not doing
Speaker 2: the sound. I was like, man, they're maybe tired or something.
Speaker 1: Oh'sick.
Speaker 3: This is just a problem with zoos sedate the animals.
Speaker 3: They're not themselves here. We got to see the nature.
Speaker 2: When we go to Africa, these are in captivity. Man,
Speaker 2: I don't even know this is true. But did y'all
Speaker 2: watch Blackfish, the documentary about World. Oh yeah, so you know,
Speaker 2: I went to see World all the time as a kid,
Speaker 2: and I remember that. I remember the dorsal finn thing specifically,
Speaker 2: it's like flapped over in SeaWorld and we were you know,
Speaker 2: the kids always asked and they will say, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: they made up something like, oh yeah, this happens a
Speaker 2: lot with these type of whales. And then in Blackfish
Speaker 2: they were like, that never happens. Ever, it only happened
Speaker 2: that SeaWorld, being like, oh my god, I just I
Speaker 2: believe these people because they work with the well, it
Speaker 2: never crossed my mind that they could be its bias
Speaker 2: and propaganda. It's big, big sea. World wants to frame
Speaker 2: little children's behind and like that's what parents like, Like
Speaker 2: somebody just says something and goes with it so confidently
Speaker 2: you try to question him.
Speaker 3: Listen, kids, his dorsal fin has flipped that way because
Speaker 3: he's having too much fun.
Speaker 2: He's doubled over.
Speaker 3: You ever had too many Skittles kids. That's what he
Speaker 3: feels like.
Speaker 2: And we don't know enough to challenge them. Man, they
Speaker 2: have to know them and be with them all day.
Speaker 3: I mean they were beating this ship out the whales,
Speaker 3: honestly struggling to keep his fin up.
Speaker 4: I'm not pro that, but they did a good job
Speaker 4: because SeaWorld was funny. Shit Broz to go manin the
Speaker 4: Dolphins showed SeaWorld is one of the top five experiences
Speaker 4: of my whole life.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, I shouldn't do this. I should not
Speaker 2: do this. We're already having a great time. I watched
Speaker 2: that documentary with my wife and I was like, if
Speaker 2: I never knew this, I would never know this. So
Speaker 2: we went to vacation in Florida, like I don't two
Speaker 2: years ago and they were like, we got tickets to
Speaker 2: Sea Worm, Man, we should go. And I was just like, yes,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna rob my children. At least a chance
Speaker 2: to watch black Fish and know them. Lie. But they
Speaker 2: gotta see a well do you have to? Man, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: see world is still open. The documentary didn't do enough damage.
Speaker 7: Man.
Speaker 2: People were like, oh, that's crazy, but it's still doing well.
Speaker 4: And you gotta know the steaks. You gotta know the
Speaker 4: steaks you got. Then you gotta choose. You have to
Speaker 4: know how much fun you had. But then you have
Speaker 4: to be like, all right, now, I choose because otherwise
Speaker 4: you never even got to have that fun.
Speaker 3: And that's probably my issue, is I've I've chosen not
Speaker 3: to do it. But it's only because I've never tried
Speaker 3: that sweet Sea World cocaine, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like I've never sweet gotten a taste.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 2: It seems like it's I feel so bad, but I'm like, man, man,
Speaker 2: it is cool. Though I'm sorry, man, there's we just
Speaker 2: gotta be honest with ourselves. Man, we are we are
Speaker 2: not perfect people. We're flawed individuals. And I let capitalism
Speaker 2: get the best of me. And I was all in
Speaker 2: for like years when I saw that. It was like
Speaker 2: years I didn't take my kids to see world. But
Speaker 2: you know, I was weak in that moment and I
Speaker 2: had We had the best time. It's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 2: It's amazing. Maybe feel more guilty, like if it was terrible,
Speaker 2: I have been like, man, this is man, I shouldn't
Speaker 2: even but because it was so good, I was. I mean,
Speaker 2: the food was good, the rides.
Speaker 3: We watched, the show, we ate, well, it was. It
Speaker 3: was a hell of a time.
Speaker 4: But listen, here's what I argue. It's that not the
Speaker 4: mark of a truly great father. You took the burden
Speaker 4: of that on you, and you internalized it. You didn't
Speaker 4: catch down generational blackfish trauma. You said, no, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: let these little kids enjoy it. I know the evil
Speaker 4: that works with them.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 1: I'm a hero. Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't think our listeners are going to agree. But that's.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 3: We have to take a break. We'll be back with
Speaker 3: more Kevil on stage and more. My mama told me.
Speaker 7: It was due to a feces thrown all over the walls,
Speaker 7: the floor, the ceiling, and a stunk.
Speaker 6: We are back with stage Michael Jackson. Of course it
Speaker 6: was Michael was a real clip. Of course it was
Speaker 6: a real clip.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that wasn't a or something already.
Speaker 3: If I'm not mistaken, it was something relating to the
Speaker 3: Second Trial. I feel like it has something to do
Speaker 3: with with the Second Trial, because that was the that
Speaker 3: was the era. If we if I'm remembering correctly, where
Speaker 3: Michael Jackson had linked up with Johnny cochrane and they
Speaker 3: were sort of playing him heavy as a black artist
Speaker 3: being mistreated.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: They did the same OJ ship where they're like, this
Speaker 3: is a racial issue, and I think it had something
Speaker 3: to do with people like abusing him or mistreating him
Speaker 3: and and like giving him a shitty booboo room.
Speaker 2: Or something like that. Play it one more time.
Speaker 1: I was hoping you would say that, yeah.
Speaker 7: There was doo dooo feces thrown all over the walls,
Speaker 7: the floor of the ceiling in a stunk.
Speaker 2: That I've never heard.
Speaker 1: What I like.
Speaker 3: What I like most is that he says there was
Speaker 3: doo dooo feces as if they are some sort of conjunction,
Speaker 3: that it is a that to say one, you cannot
Speaker 3: say one without the other. It was due do feis.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think there's levels and we can all
Speaker 4: agree that sometimes you do these, sometimes you feces.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's only used in medical terms. But
Speaker 2: it's so black that Michael Jackson says doodoo.
Speaker 3: Like, hey, he's a black man.
Speaker 2: I imagine him not in character like man, there's doodoo
Speaker 2: everywhere and there man's going on Michael Jackson, Man, you'll
Speaker 2: got doodoo, you got feces over here? Come on, you
Speaker 2: sold eighty million albums? I do and fe You think
Speaker 2: Prince got dooty owners?
Speaker 3: Wall on the fucking Beatles catalog? What is brong with y'all?
Speaker 2: I got a monkey, nigga monkey, don't no doodle? He
Speaker 2: no better than don't do it at me. I wish
Speaker 2: brothers one. Don't doodle at me. I kill him dead.
Speaker 2: I don't you do like that?
Speaker 1: He ships in a toilet like an adult?
Speaker 3: What a while? We were talking about Sea World earlier.
Speaker 3: What a wild time where we were just letting regular citizens'
Speaker 3: own exotic animals take them to award shows.
Speaker 4: And it's such a dangerous practice because I grew up
Speaker 4: thinking like I thought that as a kid, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I fucked around, I can get a monkey.
Speaker 1: That was my dream.
Speaker 3: I was gonna get a monkey, Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: I was going to get a spider monkey when I
Speaker 3: grew up.
Speaker 1: See this is fucked up.
Speaker 4: In hindsight, I think I wanted a chimp, which is
Speaker 4: the danger most one that kills you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I seen a chimp rip some dudes head.
Speaker 2: He ripped the scalp Off. You seen it, not in
Speaker 2: real life, it was it was on the internet. He
Speaker 2: was like, you know those places, but we're gonna pet
Speaker 2: the monkeys, and the monkey like grabbed his head and
Speaker 2: just rip fuck and it was like white meat.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm not doing that no more.
Speaker 2: I used to want to go to Thailand and do that,
Speaker 2: and now I'm like, I'm unaware of monkey strength. And
Speaker 2: I've seen Planet of the Apes, but I ain't seen
Speaker 2: head to the white meat and one fell swoop.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I mean because Plant of the Apes is
Speaker 4: more about their mental strength. Yeah, Physically that's a worthy opponent.
Speaker 3: They're formidable in many ways.
Speaker 2: This is great. It's a good time perform It's like,
Speaker 2: can you imagine somebody hopping into this podcast at this
Speaker 2: moment in here? You know, physically they're a formative poet
Speaker 2: Jim bar anyway.
Speaker 3: And then they get off and they're like, what is
Speaker 3: that podcast about? It like black conspiracy theories. I think
Speaker 3: it's black people in conspiracy theories, but sometimes they talk
Speaker 3: about strong ass monkeys.
Speaker 2: And Michael Jackson saying Dodo, man, it all makes sense
Speaker 2: if you heard the whole episode. You can't skip around
Speaker 2: you gotta from around.
Speaker 3: Enjoy the thing.
Speaker 1: No, you gotta buckle, and we're not a dalliance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, keV, I did some research on your conspiracy theory
Speaker 3: that I would love to unpack with you. I went
Speaker 3: to the National Weather Service website to review some of
Speaker 3: the songs admits about lightning, and they do feel a
Speaker 3: lot of weird questions, including if crouching down or lying
Speaker 3: down in the center of a field during a storm
Speaker 3: will keep you safe. Uh, And I assure you all
Speaker 3: it does not. It in fact, just makes you dumb
Speaker 3: and looks silly. They said, lying down especially is dangerous
Speaker 3: because if lightning strikes nearby, the electric current that moves
Speaker 3: through the ground, it's just like has a better chance
Speaker 3: of spreading through your whole body.
Speaker 2: Oh that's dope, I have some more to be scared of.
Speaker 1: That's good, that's what.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So don't lie down.
Speaker 2: Thinking up that's a good question.
Speaker 1: That is a good question.
Speaker 2: You're weighing like I'm jumping, so I'm closer to the lightning.
Speaker 2: But if it misses me and hits the ground, I'm
Speaker 2: not part of the conducted electricity.
Speaker 1: It wasn't.
Speaker 3: It wasn't in their questions, but I'm happy to submit
Speaker 3: that one. Afterwards, I'll also submit can you pray the
Speaker 3: lightning away? Let's let's just hit all the silliest ones.
Speaker 3: We confirmed.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: One of the things that they say, though, is that
Speaker 3: it is dangerous to be outside in all circumstances during
Speaker 3: a lightning storm. However, they say the closest thing to
Speaker 3: a safe alternative we have is being in your actual house.
Speaker 3: So you were already doing the right thing by being
Speaker 3: in a home with all of your electricity turned off.
Speaker 3: And they say that the only time that it actually
Speaker 3: is dangerous in your house of being struck by lightning
Speaker 3: is if you.
Speaker 2: Are around the electric slide.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're doing the electric slide.
Speaker 2: Especially the part where we go like that, that's the production,
Speaker 2: that's the conduction.
Speaker 3: If you strike while it's striking, that's a man.
Speaker 2: You're done. You are calling for lightning if you're doing that.
Speaker 4: That's what it started out. It was a Native American
Speaker 4: lightning dance. We co opted it.
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't know.
Speaker 3: You can't see it. It's electric. But they say that
Speaker 3: the one time that it is dangerous is that if
Speaker 3: you are around something that conducts electricity. So they ask
Speaker 3: you to avoid corded phones if you're still doing that shit,
Speaker 3: electrical appliances, wires, TV cables, computers, plumbing, metal doors and windows.
Speaker 3: No mention of silver shredder toys on the list.
Speaker 4: Here's a question that I have immediately. This is where
Speaker 4: my closed Yep, you say plumbing. Now, let's say I
Speaker 4: am taking one of the aforementioned dodoos.
Speaker 3: One of one of Michael's infamous dodoos.
Speaker 4: And I'm steepling now, so you understand that I'm being
Speaker 4: very serious. Yeah, is there a possibility of lightning striking
Speaker 4: my booty?
Speaker 1: Hoole.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go so far as to say the boot
Speaker 3: is not the threat. There there are stories of people
Speaker 3: being in lightning strikes while taking showers. It seems like
Speaker 3: showers are more of a threat than lightning shooting up
Speaker 3: the toilet into your booty hole.
Speaker 2: It's got a scoops out hugs the sides of the bull.
Speaker 3: If you do it right, the doo move out the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a lot of iron.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: It does sound though, like if I were using a
Speaker 3: process of elimination, which I imagine your mother may have
Speaker 3: been doing at the time, that maybe if you turned
Speaker 3: out all the lights, and you've turned out all the
Speaker 3: things that in theory conduct electricity, and you additionally had
Speaker 3: to consider other things that might be a threat to
Speaker 3: your child. Something shimmery and or silver would fall into
Speaker 3: like a safer category. Then let's say trench coat, Raphael,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, like Native American, Michaelangelo, whatever
Speaker 3: the other alternatives you had in your house. One of
Speaker 3: the other things that I wanted to look up, and
Speaker 3: this was pretty exciting, actually, is that apparently I wanted
Speaker 3: to look up weird stories or insane stories of lightning strikes,
Speaker 3: and there are some pretty weird ones. And apparently the
Speaker 3: person who has been struck the most by lightning is
Speaker 3: a man named Roy Cleveland Sullivan who worked as a
Speaker 3: park ranger in Shenanandoah Shenandoah Shenandoah Okay hell Yeah National
Speaker 3: Park in Virginia between nineteen forty two and nineteen seventy seven,
Speaker 3: and he claims to have been struck by lightning. Hold
Speaker 3: for the drum roll seven times. Seven times he was
Speaker 3: struck by lightning and survived all of them. I'm seeing
Speaker 3: some skepticism on your faces.
Speaker 4: Well, I first of all want to make light of
Speaker 4: the fact that you thought it might be doing.
Speaker 2: He just announced it twice. Shut a door. If you
Speaker 2: haven't corrected him, he might They're still telling how many
Speaker 2: different ways he could have went with that fellas.
Speaker 3: I was gonna keep making noises till I till I
Speaker 3: made it feel right.
Speaker 1: A rookie outside linebacker.
Speaker 3: Just a nice simoen man who moved to the stage
Speaker 3: to play football man.
Speaker 2: But seven times that's document who was there.
Speaker 3: So that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's rare.
Speaker 3: I think that lightning strikes and there's just somebody there
Speaker 3: being like, whoa, you got a short by lightning.
Speaker 2: They're just like, this is crazy, Roy, you are on
Speaker 2: a roll, my man, I gotta flip to the next day.
Speaker 1: Child.
Speaker 3: He did have a number of sort of like artifacts
Speaker 3: to sort of demonstrate or like things that that he
Speaker 3: had to show for it. Like twice I think he
Speaker 3: got struck on the top of his head and it
Speaker 3: like singed the middle of his his ranger hat and
Speaker 3: basically burned a hole in the middle and at one
Speaker 3: point lit his.
Speaker 1: Hair on fire.
Speaker 3: So all of that stuff is documented, and I don't
Speaker 3: know that he did that independently, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I don't think that he was just like fucking around
Speaker 3: and lighting his hair on fire on his own, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So this leads to my next question.
Speaker 4: How much silver did my man have on him?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: He was drippy flying toys. We need to find out
Speaker 2: if he was an avid shredder collector. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 2: just like, under no circumstances ever, even in the house
Speaker 2: without these, I don't care how many times I would
Speaker 2: rather die.
Speaker 3: I don't give both.
Speaker 2: Well, my mom says, he's like I got six times.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna happen again.
Speaker 3: It's only making super Shredders. It's only making super Shredders.
Speaker 1: How old was he? How is he dead?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: He has to be dead. He was born in like
Speaker 3: nineteen thirteen or some shit like that. And was he
Speaker 3: Did he die of lightning complications? I don't think so.
Speaker 3: I think he lived a pretty regular life, it seems.
Speaker 3: This is what makes it even crazier is that it
Speaker 3: doesn't even feel like he got messed up that bad
Speaker 3: from his lightning strikes, like it his legs. I didn't
Speaker 3: look all that up.
Speaker 1: You get hit by lightning you're not does not work.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2: That's the first thing I thought.
Speaker 4: If that goes, there's no way you're gonna make a regular.
Speaker 2: His kid better be fast as fucked right. His baby's
Speaker 2: raiding lighting seven times. You are making electronic children.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when you come it says finish him, and
Speaker 3: then then rating comes out. That's not my best joke,
Speaker 3: but I got something.
Speaker 1: I got It was solid.
Speaker 3: I also read about one of the oldest and worst
Speaker 3: lightning strikes ever recorded, happening in a town called Brescia, Italy.
Speaker 3: Does anybody have a correction for Brescia Breccia? I don't
Speaker 3: know how to power?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Tittysville, Italy. In seventeen sixty nine, a church was being
Speaker 3: used as a battery to store approximately one hundred tons
Speaker 3: of gunpowder. The church took a direct hit of lightning,
Speaker 3: and all the gunpowder eventually caught fire and exploded. After
Speaker 3: all the dust settled, nearly a sixth of the city
Speaker 3: was destroyed and killed nearly three thousand people.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, wow, I started laughingly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, fellas, Sorry, this can't all be fun in games.
Speaker 3: Three thousand dead Italians from the seventeen.
Speaker 9: Hundreds sounds like a shudder job to me. No, I
Speaker 9: wish you would get sorry. I laughed too early. You
Speaker 9: could not have anticipated. That's how that story ended.
Speaker 2: Man having such a good time.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I'll tell you one more example, and this
Speaker 3: one actually is pretty fun. This one doesn't get sad.
Speaker 3: But I found a part of the National Weather Service
Speaker 3: website that is self submitted, like lists of recent survivors
Speaker 3: of lightning strikes. Like people can type in right in
Speaker 3: there and be like, I survived and this is what happened,
Speaker 3: blah blah blah. And most of the injuries that they
Speaker 3: report are like, it's it ranges, it's the full gamut.
Speaker 3: They they chronic pain, lost, coma's depression, ears, ringing, muscle funk,
Speaker 3: loss of muscle function, all of that shit. But there
Speaker 3: was one person on this list, a woman named Missy,
Speaker 3: who claimed to have gotten extrasensory perception ESP from her
Speaker 3: encounter with lightning.
Speaker 4: So okay, and some of our listens, I know, but
Speaker 4: some of our listeners maybe don't fully understand ESP. Yeah,
Speaker 4: as an actual like that guy Cruskin invented it, right,
Speaker 4: I don't know much about I.
Speaker 1: Well, it's me, it's me. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it fuck?
Speaker 3: It is like, no, listen, I'm glad you're asking that.
Speaker 3: And in fact, I tracked down the email that she sent. Oh,
Speaker 3: and I can read it to you all now. The
Speaker 3: subject line is high price for pizza question mark, supernatural
Speaker 3: side effect question mark, And she says, I was struck
Speaker 3: by lightning about twelve years ago. No one ever told
Speaker 3: me that you weren't supposed to be on a landline
Speaker 3: telephone during an electrical storm. So there I was.
Speaker 1: Say it again, she didn't have a black mom, now black.
Speaker 3: Mama, nobody supposed to be here.
Speaker 2: Well, fuck.
Speaker 1: That one didn't even make that much sense.
Speaker 2: I was. It just felt boy, what you know what,
Speaker 2: I don't mind it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes it's just sometimes it's magic, it's not science.
Speaker 3: She says. So there I was calling in a carry
Speaker 3: out pizza order when I noticed that the lightning and
Speaker 3: thunder was getting more intense and coming more frequently. I
Speaker 3: heard static on the phone line, which kept getting louder
Speaker 3: and louder. Then I heard what sounded like a loud explosion,
Speaker 3: and at the same time I noticed a bright white
Speaker 3: light at my feet, which was football shaped and had spikes.
Speaker 3: It blew me across the floor, and I was knocked
Speaker 3: out for a few seconds. My son came running into
Speaker 3: the kitchen to find me laying there on the floor.
Speaker 3: When I started to get a numbing feeling on one
Speaker 3: side of my body, starting at the toes and working upward,
Speaker 3: he called nine one one. After spending several hours in
Speaker 3: the emergency room, they confirmed that I had been hit
Speaker 3: by lightning. Through the phone lines after the strike, I
Speaker 3: noticed a strange side effect. It's almost as if I
Speaker 3: got esp extrasensory perception. Every once in a while, there
Speaker 3: have been times where I speak to someone, speak someone's name,
Speaker 3: someone that I haven't been heard from or seen in
Speaker 3: many years, and all of a sudden they walk in
Speaker 3: the door. Or time, I knew my plumbing was going
Speaker 3: to be back up in the laundry, and sure enough,
Speaker 3: that night it happened. I've had eerie feelings about this
Speaker 3: just before they've actually happened. I've actually created a list
Speaker 3: somewhere in my house of these incidents because I couldn't
Speaker 3: believe it myself. Most people that know me are made,
Speaker 3: and so am I. This periodic thing only started after
Speaker 3: my lightning incident. Wow, how bought in?
Speaker 1: Are well? Not at all? No, No, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm just the cynic in my old About three
Speaker 2: sentences in, I was like girl, and that.
Speaker 4: Was like, Oh, you knew the laundry was gonna back
Speaker 4: up because this ship's been rattling for six months.
Speaker 1: Fucking call your landlord. What are you talking about?
Speaker 3: They're not great examples. She's not damling it with the
Speaker 3: examples for esp.
Speaker 2: Oh, not at all. He was like, Yeah, if that
Speaker 2: was Shark Tank, I'd be like, I'm out for don't
Speaker 2: door for this reason, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1: For this reason, I'm out. I'd be like, I actually
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends in the laundry space. It is.
Speaker 3: It is a wild choice to be like, no, I
Speaker 3: did get superpowers, and what is my power? I can
Speaker 3: tell when my laundry room is gonna it's gonna stop
Speaker 3: working the way it's supposed to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just bot.
Speaker 3: You wasted your powers?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: And did they get that pizza for free? I don't
Speaker 3: think so. I don't think the pizza got delivered. It
Speaker 3: sounds like she had a rough night without pizza. And also, uh,
Speaker 3: shitty superpowers damn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you lose something exactly.
Speaker 3: I think if we if we can all agree, it
Speaker 3: seems as if we we we are all sort of
Speaker 3: certain that shredder toys are in no way a threat
Speaker 3: in a lightning storm, and unfortunately, superpowers are not easily achieved,
Speaker 3: even for those who are struck by lightning. It requires
Speaker 3: a more miraculous interaction with chemicals and a body to
Speaker 3: truly turn you supernatural.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, Yeah, I think that's.
Speaker 3: Damn well, keV. I think we did it. I think
Speaker 3: this is I think this is a whole shebang.
Speaker 2: This is perfect.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I still got time to go to my son's soccer game.
Speaker 2: This is great timing. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're doing it.
Speaker 3: Do you want to tell the people where they can
Speaker 3: find you and what cool shit you have going on? Okay,
Speaker 3: hell yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: You know, if they're curious enough that I should be
Speaker 2: easy enough to fight.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's not saying it's just.
Speaker 3: Like, no, you go viral often enough that I think
Speaker 3: they'll bump into you.
Speaker 2: That's fair to say. Come see about it, Kevi on stage.
Speaker 2: Just search that wherever you're looking, you'll probably find me.
Speaker 3: Well not us. We still plug Bory what you got.
Speaker 4: I want to be at the Comedy Bar in Seattle,
Speaker 4: Washing gym and on the twenty seven to twenty eighth,
Speaker 4: and I desperately need you to buy tickets. Go on
Speaker 4: my Instagram Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven and all my
Speaker 4: links are there. I got some other dates coming up,
Speaker 4: but that's what I got right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman.
Speaker 3: I don't have dates just yet to tell you about,
Speaker 3: but they're coming. And if you want to us your
Speaker 3: own conspiracy theories, if you want to send us your
Speaker 3: own drops, if you want to tell us how you
Speaker 3: achieved your superpower, send it all to my mama pod
Speaker 3: at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you.
Speaker 3: Go to my mama told me dot Merch Central to
Speaker 3: buy some of the merch that we have cooking. They
Speaker 3: are moving to them, shirts and hats, they're moving fast.
Speaker 3: We want y'all to have them. So go there and
Speaker 3: like subscribe, do whatever bullshit you're supposed to do to
Speaker 3: keep the podcast afloat. We love it, we need it,
Speaker 3: We love you. That's the whole thing. By bitch, Look
Speaker 3: if you hate cops just because of co Next time
Speaker 3: you get in trouble, call.
Speaker 2: The crackhead.
Speaker 5: My crow chips in your naies.
Speaker 2: All Kuala Bears are racist, The host layers money and
Speaker 2: turning stuff from cans opinting at