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Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew mcarry and I'm David Roth and

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Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together

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Speaker 1: called defect or Defector, and we're gonna have a new

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Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, This very podcast which has

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Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now. It's available ever.

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Speaker 1: Rescue your podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right

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Speaker 1: now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out right now. Go

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Speaker 1: listen to see you by Jesson. I'm gonna stay, bro,

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Speaker 1: I cannot talk. I'm gonna stage. Yes, stop lasting. I gotta,

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Speaker 1: I gotta Jackson tell me all right, it's my life. Guys.

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Speaker 1: How are you guys doing tonight? I can't believe I'm

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Speaker 1: in Atlanta. You look good. All the beautiful black people. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm Cade and I and we're the Ellis. You may

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Speaker 1: know us from posting funny videos with our boys and

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Speaker 1: reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. I

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Speaker 1: make you need derby most days. And one more important

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Speaker 1: thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are. We

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Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of the

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Speaker 1: live's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about. Through the lens of a millennial married couple.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass is a term that we say every day.

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Speaker 1: Where we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one,

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: We're about to take Phillows off to a whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead ask starts now, Heyo, what's good job? Back in February,

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Speaker 1: before all the news about coronavirus broke, when we could

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Speaker 1: still go outside and be around other people, we went

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Speaker 1: down to Atlanta to do an episode of dead Ass

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Speaker 1: live at the Variety Playoffs. We're hoping that this episode

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Speaker 1: is a little bit of joy and escape in these

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Speaker 1: uncertain times, especially because a t l y'all were lit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this was our largest live audience ever and the energy

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Speaker 1: that I felt on stage was unmatched. We had DJ

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Speaker 1: Executive come down from New York to get the crowd

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Speaker 1: hyped before we got out and it was on. It

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Speaker 1: was definitely our most exciting venue because Atlanta is like

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Speaker 1: our home away from home, away from home when we're

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Speaker 1: not in l A or New York or Jamaica. Atlanta

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Speaker 1: is definitely a place where we rest our heads and

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable. So much love. We appreciate you guys, it

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Speaker 1: was dope. But before we get into it, this is

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Speaker 1: not our usual dead Ass episode. We wanted to make

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Speaker 1: sure the dead Ass Live experience was unforgettable. So our

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Speaker 1: friend Brian Jordan Jr. Was there to m C and

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Speaker 1: we got you to play a game with us. We're

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Speaker 1: calling it the newly Wed Game, but of course it's

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Speaker 1: the dead Ass Edition. So we'll tell you more about

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Speaker 1: that in a minute, but first let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: This is dead Ass Live in Atlanta. So what's some

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Speaker 1: of Atlanta? Oh my goodness, y'all like a dream come true.

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Speaker 1: I feel like at this point in our lives, it's

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Speaker 1: like born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. Of course,

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Speaker 1: y'all know we're in relocated. It's Brooklyn, Brooklyn in the house,

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Speaker 1: all right, Brooklyn cutting Hi. Oh my god, I feel it.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. So now we're in l A now, But

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Speaker 1: I feel like Atlanta is somewhere like we were supposed

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Speaker 1: to be eventually. Feels I have this feeling, like deep

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Speaker 1: deep down inside that at some points I'm gonna end

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Speaker 1: up here. Where's the best part of Atlanta to be? Though? Well,

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Speaker 1: I heard when I had to care, Oh don't ye

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Speaker 1: thet we're in my car. I heard somebody in the

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Speaker 1: back sat down in decado people people gritorial bad. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: joying to join your ladies and gentlemen, Maurice. They ain't

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Speaker 1: standing up for you know, So ladies and gentlemen. One

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Speaker 1: of the most important times of Dead As podcasts, as

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Speaker 1: you guys know, it's story time, right and because soon

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Speaker 1: you said Carrie, say karayoke, you're like carryoake. You don't

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Speaker 1: like carry. I don't know why I couldn't hold a

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Speaker 1: note if you put it in my hands. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why people always do that to you, but whatever.

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Speaker 1: So you know, we're all my couples and how many

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Speaker 1: couples have we gotten here? Couples representing so who made

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Speaker 1: this a day night? And when they had bought tickets

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Speaker 1: for the other one. That's yourself, that's your self. That's

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Speaker 1: the same how they turn on the lights a little bit,

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Speaker 1: everybody left. There's so we're all the single people at

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Speaker 1: so you had a single people? Ah, So y'all are

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Speaker 1: gonna enjoy the story time because since you're single, you

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Speaker 1: you haven't experienced this yet. You see, I'm nervous about

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Speaker 1: the story time because I actually wanted to tell a

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Speaker 1: story time today, but did that claim that he had

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Speaker 1: the story of all stories. So I'm low key nervous

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Speaker 1: to see what you're about to take. You know, you

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Speaker 1: don't gotta you don't be nervous. It's a great story.

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Speaker 1: It's a great story. So New Year's well, Christmas time,

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Speaker 1: we spent Christmas time with my parents. Everybody knew that, right, yes,

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Speaker 1: So we spent two weeks trying to have quiet sex

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Speaker 1: because the kids was in one room, her parents was

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Speaker 1: in the next room, our kids in the next room.

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Speaker 1: Her grandmother was underneath us. So you know, we are

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Speaker 1: in her her brother's old bed. The bed is mad crickety.

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Speaker 1: So my brother listen working apparently in that bed. What's

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Speaker 1: my brother? Shout out to my brother where Tristan Triston

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Speaker 1: put some work in the bed. The bed was mad loose,

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Speaker 1: so I couldn't even get no working. Like every time

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Speaker 1: I movie, it was like, so that's my song. So

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Speaker 1: we spent the whole two weeks having probably some of

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Speaker 1: the most terrible sets we've had in a long time

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Speaker 1: because we couldn't do what we wanted to do. So

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Speaker 1: she was just like heavy, baby, don't worry me, don't

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Speaker 1: worry when we get back. Do we get back to

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Speaker 1: l A. I got you, I got you. You tell

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Speaker 1: me that's how you sound your hand be like this

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Speaker 1: and you here, you'd be doing this with you're here.

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Speaker 1: Even when she don't got her wiging out here short,

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Speaker 1: she's still don't like I got comping today in my

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Speaker 1: hand shot, you know, but you know, go ahead, you

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Speaker 1: get it. So I'm like, I'm like, and I was

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Speaker 1: already pissed, and I'm like, you know what, I don't

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Speaker 1: got No. She was like, do you have any requests?

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Speaker 1: Like I don't have no requests because whatever I asked

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Speaker 1: for you don't give me anyway. And she was just like,

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Speaker 1: I got you, trust me, I got you. Right, So Booma,

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Speaker 1: I said, if I tell you what I want, I

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Speaker 1: expect that when I get back. Gentlemen, if she asked

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Speaker 1: you what you want and you tell her what you want,

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Speaker 1: isn't it there that you get what you ask or correct? Okay? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So now we get back, right, it's Wednesday, Right, Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: we get back. I'm ready to go. I'm sitting there.

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Speaker 1: I get out of the shower, sit down on the bed,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I get down, shower, sit on the bed.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready for her to do. I think what I

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Speaker 1: said to her was I wanted her to put on

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Speaker 1: some heels. I wanted her to dress up like a

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Speaker 1: schoolgirl little dress right, or librarian or librarian either one

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Speaker 1: or cheery either one. And here's me on Amazon Prime like, okay, cheers,

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Speaker 1: skirt good Prime two days got it? Okay? So I

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Speaker 1: said all of this right, And she had just did

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Speaker 1: a photo shoot, and she had this long this long weave,

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Speaker 1: and she had on these contests. So I was like,

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Speaker 1: I want to see all that on Wednesday. So now

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Speaker 1: I sit down and back to my shower. I oiled

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Speaker 1: myself up because I want to look good for her,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Because I got If I'm

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Speaker 1: asking her to put all this together, I gotta put

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Speaker 1: myself together. So I did some push ups, some crunches,

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Speaker 1: got out the shower, shindy, air dried, air dried, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I'm sitting here now. She

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Speaker 1: turned the lights low. She put this blanket by the fireplace.

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Speaker 1: I was sitting up right, ladies, Yeah, okay. She comes

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Speaker 1: to see out of the bathroom and she has on

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Speaker 1: a leotard. So now I'm sitting here and looking at

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Speaker 1: her likeness, and she's doing some sort of what she

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Speaker 1: going was seductive Beyonce. Thence she don't got the wagons,

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Speaker 1: she don't got the contacts. So I'm just sitting there.

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Speaker 1: Now she's trying to do her some something things. She's

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Speaker 1: trying to know when she doing this, she little mess.

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Speaker 1: Yet give me a little more credit than that. Did

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Speaker 1: y'all see what I just did when I walked out here,

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Speaker 1: all right, So it was a little better than that. Right.

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Speaker 1: So now she's doing her rub up on me, right,

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Speaker 1: And when she was rub up for me, she liked

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Speaker 1: to rub before me get to her special happy place.

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Speaker 1: And when she feels that I'm in my special happy place,

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Speaker 1: you know, what's time to get busy. So now I

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Speaker 1: got a point to prove because she didn't dressed us

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Speaker 1: the way that asked her to dressed up. So I'm

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Speaker 1: mentally fighting my special happy place. So it's like and

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Speaker 1: I'm in my mind, I'm like Dan, she put a

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Speaker 1: stink down set. Actually tell her what you really call

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Speaker 1: my body suit? I was getting there all the more disrespect.

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Speaker 1: So when she feels like it's not where she likes it.

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Speaker 1: She turns around, she goes, what's the problem. So I

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Speaker 1: go nothing, because I gotta prove a point. So she's like, no, devil,

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Speaker 1: I noticed something wrong. And I'm like, now I forget.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it, but I really

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Speaker 1: want to talk about it. But I wanted to ask

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Speaker 1: me all the time, so that she said, to guys,

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Speaker 1: you're telling me. I said, fine, you asked me what

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Speaker 1: I wanted. I told you what I wanted. You came

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Speaker 1: out here wearing nothing that I asked you. And she

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Speaker 1: was like, I turned her life down. I put the

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Speaker 1: fireplace on, I put the for I said, I didn't

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Speaker 1: ask for none of that. I asked for a schoolgirls shoe,

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Speaker 1: a lot brari, and you gave me here and it's

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Speaker 1: dry ass letatard. When I said that, I asked, that

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Speaker 1: was savage fenty okay, Rianna be busting it down and

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Speaker 1: that stuff. So when I said that, it's shuck a nerve,

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Speaker 1: and she stormed off and said, you know what, the

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Speaker 1: guy ain't got time for these bullshit. You called my

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Speaker 1: liatar drawing. I'm going to sleep now. I'm mad because

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Speaker 1: I didn't really want to stop. I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: tell how I felt and I want to keep going.

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Speaker 1: So now I'm like, how are you gonna just get

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Speaker 1: up on for me? With the lead tron on? We

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Speaker 1: had plans. She was like, I'm going to sleep about

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Speaker 1: So that she's like, what's this big problem? I said

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Speaker 1: to the most importantly, you ain't even have on the heels.

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Speaker 1: I like the heels. So that she's like, the guy

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Speaker 1: I stopped talking, I'm going to sleep. I fine, I

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Speaker 1: don't wanna talk about this anyway. So now I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to myself and she talking to herself calling the old

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Speaker 1: sorts is I don't know what she was calling me.

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Speaker 1: So I walk into the bathroom right, and when I

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Speaker 1: walk into the bathroom, I see all the heels that

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Speaker 1: I brought anem y'all, see how the closet is right.

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Speaker 1: All I see is read bottoms and all this other stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I got mad, perfectly lineup, color coordinated, all that.

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Speaker 1: So I got mad. So what I did? I ran

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Speaker 1: it there but naked. All the shoes do all the shoes,

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Speaker 1: all of my shoes, y'all, from disrespect every single roll.

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Speaker 1: He's kicking shoes through the bathroom. All. I've never seen

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Speaker 1: this man so violent with shoes before kicked all the

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Speaker 1: shoes and then she laughing and out here and say,

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Speaker 1: you know you stipid because you're dick still on medium.

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Speaker 1: I'm like being it was, so I'm like, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: how bad are you that you're walking around here? You're

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Speaker 1: still like all my shoes? Like what if my shoes

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Speaker 1: go to you? So now she's talking ship to me

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Speaker 1: while I'm picking the shoes around and I'm getting down mass.

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Speaker 1: Now you're gonna pick every last shoe up and call

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Speaker 1: look for it and put it back. That's going to

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Speaker 1: do that? And I said, I'm not picking on shoes up.

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Speaker 1: And then she's like, well, the shoes gonna be and

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Speaker 1: to we move out because I'm not touching the shoes.

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Speaker 1: I said fine. Then I looked down and I had

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Speaker 1: a gash on my foot because I kicking one of

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Speaker 1: the shoes. There you go. So now one of my

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Speaker 1: spiky red bottoms. I don't know what. None of the

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Speaker 1: band aids is in our house. So I'm walking around

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Speaker 1: the house with a bloody foot. I'm lamming drawers, slamming drawers,

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Speaker 1: doing all sorts of stuff, and all I hear how

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Speaker 1: the room is I'll bet you're looking for them. Damn

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Speaker 1: bandays time, I'm like, stop talking to me, Stop talking

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Speaker 1: to me, wrapped my foot in the towel. I tried

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Speaker 1: to go to sleep. Dick still on medium this whole time.

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Speaker 1: This what Then we went to sleep. She ain't say

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Speaker 1: nothing to me. I will go first. You know what

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Speaker 1: the worst part of his whole story is, guys, I

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Speaker 1: got o c D. So when I woke up, I

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Speaker 1: saw all the shoes and I was like, oh, and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't touching not a one. So now I'm meaning,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, is this like a U work

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Speaker 1: hue with blue? Is this less blue? Is midnight? And

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Speaker 1: she walked in there and she was just like, you

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Speaker 1: know you're stupid, right, And I was like, you know

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Speaker 1: you love me, right, and she was like yeah. Then

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Speaker 1: we had set in the closet and then but the

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Speaker 1: shoes back in color order. And for all you single

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Speaker 1: people right who look at people, for example, y'all look

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Speaker 1: at us, and I hear these people say this all

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Speaker 1: the time. Oh, y'all. The relationship goes. We have more

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Speaker 1: nights like that where we fight and argue and call

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Speaker 1: each other names that we do the time that you

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Speaker 1: see on Instagram or what's just taking you pictures with

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Speaker 1: each other? Like, there are so many nights where we

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Speaker 1: just spend trying to figure out what exactly each other wants.

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Speaker 1: And the purpose of the story is just recently could

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Speaker 1: people have been asking us like how does it feel

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Speaker 1: to be relationship goes? And I kind of feel like

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Speaker 1: it's a burden that I really don't want because we're

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Speaker 1: so flawed as individuals, and I think that it's unfair

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Speaker 1: for people to look at us and think that everything

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Speaker 1: is perfect. So we just want you all to know

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Speaker 1: that we have the same exact issues everybody else in

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Speaker 1: here has. Every body. I'm pretty sure your husband, a

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Speaker 1: boyfriend has knocked all your shoes off with his thick

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Speaker 1: and meet him. I'm pretty sure you know. I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure your girl probably said that she was gonna do

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Speaker 1: something and do it. It happens, and when it happens,

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Speaker 1: don't quit on each other. Don't quit on each other,

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Speaker 1: man stick with each other. So I will go for

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Speaker 1: tonight since it's Valentine's Day week was to find the

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Speaker 1: ideal couple. So today y'all are going to be a

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Speaker 1: part of the podcast. You're all excited about that. So

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Speaker 1: right here is where we ask for three couples to

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Speaker 1: join us on stage for this game. We needed a

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Speaker 1: dating couple, an engage couple in the married couple. So

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Speaker 1: let's get to know them a little bit. A couple

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Speaker 1: of pass guys. Give them a round of applause. All

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Speaker 1: three couples, all right? We had dating, engaged and married

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Speaker 1: thirty three years? All right, So how long have you

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Speaker 1: guys been dating? Eight months? Eight months? Y'all, don't we're

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Speaker 1: in that new no phase ever to be young again.

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Speaker 1: I love it. What is the best and worst thing

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Speaker 1: you bring to the relationship? Yes, and I got tricky

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Speaker 1: on y'all. The best thing that I bring to the

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Speaker 1: relationship is probably planning a date night. Okay, so you're

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Speaker 1: that fool man, So that means that you're spontaneous date

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Speaker 1: night planning. I love it, young lady. The best thing

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Speaker 1: that I bring to the relationship ship is caring about

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Speaker 1: his football players like they're my own. I love that.

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Speaker 1: So she's a nurturer. I love that. And the worst thing,

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Speaker 1: the worst thing, I am a one word connoisseur. She

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Speaker 1: will she will tell me how she feels, and I

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Speaker 1: will blatantly hit her with him. Okay, you're trying to die,

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Speaker 1: young lady. All right, m uh, this is not good.

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Speaker 1: I'm working on okay, but when we are in an argument,

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Speaker 1: I'm the first one to walk out the door. And

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Speaker 1: you know what, transparency, This is a church free zone.

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Speaker 1: We got, we got? Thank you so much. Can we

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Speaker 1: have engaged? Couple of must week up wearing a dead

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Speaker 1: ass That's one of my favorite pieces of Birch Lawyer

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Speaker 1: has dead ass merchant nights on though it's not gonnae age.

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Speaker 1: And how long you've been engaged? I've been engaged for

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Speaker 1: two years? Come on, y'all, come on now, we was

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Speaker 1: engaged years too. When who don't be one an? One

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Speaker 1: year too long? Right? It may sound like an issue,

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Speaker 1: but we want to we want to do it right.

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Speaker 1: Interested absolutely, What how are you doing? You're doing your way? Yes,

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Speaker 1: my name is Nash. I'll be tween seven and April.

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Speaker 1: He's started thirty. Nice, So tell us what's the best

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Speaker 1: worst thing you've been to a relationship. I'm like a thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm a prof I'm a perfectionist, so I can pick

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Speaker 1: out his flowers a little bit. Okay, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? Like, because I want to elevate him. I

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Speaker 1: want him to be the best him that he can be.

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Speaker 1: I can see him. You know that's good. That's when

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Speaker 1: clocked that up. She's gonna bringing him brave and I'm

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Speaker 1: very ambitious, very ambitious. There you go. So, what's the

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Speaker 1: worst thing you bring to the relationship. I'm working on it.

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Speaker 1: I don't I'm working on Tell him it's most things.

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Speaker 1: She thank you loud. Here you go, a brother. Best

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Speaker 1: thing you bring to the relationship proble myself from being

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Speaker 1: a provider, for sure. That's important. That that's important, building wealth,

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Speaker 1: generational wealth. What's the worst thing? Probably the exact opposite

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Speaker 1: of what they were doing, though I'm not very transparent.

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Speaker 1: It is. Communication is a problem I'm working on. So

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Speaker 1: you're working on it. I love that you see your

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Speaker 1: true Okay, rip the man, you see a trem thanks

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Speaker 1: in thirty three years. She got her purse back, But

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Speaker 1: I love it. Three years introduced us to yourselves. Well,

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Speaker 1: this is my wife, Kelly, all right now, okay, so

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Speaker 1: here's where we ran into a little technical difficulty. We

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Speaker 1: had a hiccup in our audio recording and part of

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Speaker 1: our married couple's intro and the first round of our

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Speaker 1: game did not get recorded, so sorry about that, but

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Speaker 1: shout out to Kelly and Clayton. They were our couple

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Speaker 1: who was married the longest in the audience, and they

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Speaker 1: came dancing down the aisle, married thirty three years. They

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Speaker 1: were really a whole lot of fun. All right. Now,

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Speaker 1: now that you've met our contestants, it's time for the

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Speaker 1: newly way game dead ass addition, which one of these

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Speaker 1: couples knows each other the best? Which one is the

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Speaker 1: ideal couple? So here's what we did for We gave

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Speaker 1: each couple paddles that said him or her, and we

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00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 1: had partners stand back to back so they could not

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Speaker 1: see each other. Then they had to answer questions like

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Speaker 1: who takes up more space in the bed? Or who

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Speaker 1: is more likely to cook for the entire family? Who

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Speaker 1: is more likely to agree with Codeine's mantra budgets are

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Speaker 1: made to be broken. That's one of my favorites. Whichever

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Speaker 1: couple answers matched the most was our winner. That's one

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Speaker 1: who is more likely to lose their keys? And whilete

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Speaker 1: t one, oh look over, ron one is over. Everybody,

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Speaker 1: give a round of the blow. Would you believe it

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Speaker 1: or not couple was the first couple of eliminating. I

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Speaker 1: was shocked. I'm not gonna lie. I was shocked. They

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Speaker 1: came down. They had so much swag, they were very

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Speaker 1: exciting to watch, and they were fund people. But they

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Speaker 1: ain't know ship about each other. I was gonna like, damn,

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Speaker 1: how y'all still married? But you know it is what

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Speaker 1: it is. You know you love his love. You know

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Speaker 1: you love how he gotta loved. We down to the

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Speaker 1: ny pritty. So in round two we were left with

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Speaker 1: the engaged couple and the dating couple. We did a

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Speaker 1: quick round of five questions. Be down to the knitty gritty.

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Speaker 1: All right, you already hold the paddles up to your chest,

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Speaker 1: no cheating. If you turn the paddle down early, I'm

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Speaker 1: deducted the point. I'm the paddle police, paddle police, you're already.

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Speaker 1: Question number one, who shot their shot? First? Three? Two? One?

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Speaker 1: Let us see? Okay, okay, all right, okay, right? Question

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Speaker 1: number two, who is more likely to be late? Three

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Speaker 1: to one? Oh, so we have a lead in lead

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Speaker 1: by the cats right online online. They're both taken the

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Speaker 1: blame right right. Question number three, who is more buckead

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Speaker 1: meaning who is more boogie three to one? Don't? Who?

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Speaker 1: Who is the last two questions? This is a chance

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Speaker 1: to catch up. Who is more likely to get lost

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Speaker 1: while driving? Read to one? Don't this is the last one.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, I guess you know if you're not

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Speaker 1: a buckheads this who's more bluffs? It's more bluff more bluffes.

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Speaker 1: So if the cops came knocking, who is more likely

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Speaker 1: to sit? Read two? One time? This too so much?

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Speaker 1: All right, we can we get some music for our

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Speaker 1: I tell poke, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I After

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Speaker 1: eight well, our dating couple got off to a big

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Speaker 1: league and they kept it for all two rounds. I

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Speaker 1: don't think they got a single question wrong. After only

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Speaker 1: eight months together, we crowned our dating contestants, our ideal

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Speaker 1: couple of the Nights. So what I said was when

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Speaker 1: they get married a couple of months from now, because

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Speaker 1: they seem like they're on a rocket page to get

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Speaker 1: it together. Me and Codeine got to be the ringbarrel

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Speaker 1: and the flower girl. Listen, don't tempt me with a

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Speaker 1: good time. I love a good wedding, I love an

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Speaker 1: open bar, and I love to get rest up. So

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Speaker 1: I will be there pitching all the flowers down the aisle. Okay,

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Speaker 1: congratulations to our ideal couple, and thank you again to

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Speaker 1: our three contestant couples for being such great sports and

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Speaker 1: playing with us. Yes, so, so we're gonna take a

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Speaker 1: quick break and move into our live listener letters after

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Speaker 1: we get into some ads. Baby, this for the record, there,

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Speaker 1: it is a win for the ages. Tiger Woods is

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Speaker 1: one of our most inspiring sports icons. In his story,

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Speaker 1: it comes with many chapters. I am deeply sorry from

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Speaker 1: my irresponsible and selfish behavior, but here it is the

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Speaker 1: return to glory. This is All American, a new series

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Speaker 1: from Stitcher hosted by me Jordan Bell. You realized Tiger

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Speaker 1: was don know who he is in the history of golf,

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Speaker 1: no question in my mind. And this season, with the

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Speaker 1: help of journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what if the

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Speaker 1: story of Tiger Woods that the media has been telling,

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Speaker 1: what if it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger is

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Speaker 1: out now listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite

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Speaker 1: podcast app. All right, we're back and it's time for

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Speaker 1: my favorite listener letters. But this one was with a twist.

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Speaker 1: So since we had a theater full of all y'all

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Speaker 1: we said, you know what, let's open up the floor

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Speaker 1: for live listener letters. Here we go. So this is

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Speaker 1: the one of the show. We get to speak to

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Speaker 1: our audience, listen to us. Who has questions about life?

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Speaker 1: We want to ask us for our advice. See. The

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Speaker 1: funny thing is the show you can an email dead ass,

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Speaker 1: I said gmail dot com. So thanks for me quite anonymous. However,

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00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: at the live show we have a mic genera wave

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Speaker 1: your hands, let them see the spotlight or do we

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Speaker 1: have a spotlight? Oh so, don't be shy. Now's your

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Speaker 1: time to come on up. Okay, brother right here, And

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Speaker 1: this is great because normally the women want to company

421
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: ask all the come on rather tonight. So come on

422
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: down and we're gonna see what he has to ask us,

423
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: and we're gonna talk him through and see if we

424
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 1: can give our two cents like we normally do. All right, okay,

425
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,479
Speaker 1: if you if you have a question next you can

426
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: get behind them. Yeah, you have somebody on day. Don't

427
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: be shot. Come on down, good night, brother. How are you?

428
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm great? How are you guys? All right? Though? All right?

429
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 1: With the leopard print? My wife are we're magic? She

430
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 1: is matchic? Alright, now, all right, So my wife could

431
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: I've been married for four years. We have two kids,

432
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 1: and level year old and a eight month daughter. Son

433
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: is eleven and daughter is eight month. We're both social life,

434
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: both career driven. So one of the things that we've

435
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: been struggling with is trying to balance being career driven,

436
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: being parents, and also our social life. So how do

437
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 1: you guys balance those things? Who? That's something that we

438
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: get a lot because I think we give the illusion

439
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: a lot of the times, maybe through social media or

440
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: the the the content that we put out that we

441
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: have the scales completely balanced and everyone gets everything they

442
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: need all the time. And the truth is is that's

443
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: not the case. And so I want you to know

444
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: that you're not alone because we're sharing that. And I'm

445
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: sure many people who are raising children, you know, who

446
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: are married, are looking for ways to kind of div

447
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: you things up. UM. I would tell a lot of women,

448
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: especially moms particularly, you're just women who are looking to

449
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: have the career and the family or they just want,

450
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: you know, they want it all, um, to just know

451
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 1: that sometimes you have to let the chips fall where

452
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: they may, um, and then just begin to pick up

453
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: the pieces and prioritize after that, and just know that

454
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: not everything can get everything, or not everyone can get

455
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: everything at the time, so sometimes things may have to falter.

456
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: But just know that if you can kind of prioritize

457
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 1: and just kind of lay things out in a way

458
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: that things are gonna get taken care of within your

459
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: time frame, then it kind of works out in the end.

460
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: People just have to kind of understand. Like I my

461
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: husband sometimes feel I feel badly for him because he

462
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: feels like he falls to the bottom of the totem

463
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: pole out of the times. Um. But it requires conversations

464
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: sometimes and just be really a lot of time for

465
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: him and a lot of time for the things that

466
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: are necessary and important to me. So that's how I

467
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: kind of try to juggle things a bit. But it's

468
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: always gonna be a constant juggle for sure for me

469
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: being very deliberate. Friday's is day night. That's my wife's

470
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: tim Can nobody take that time, whether it's a booking,

471
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: depending on the money. There's a lot of money, and

472
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: she'd be like, we get paid, but Fridays, Friday's nothing

473
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: else getting in the way of that. I called my

474
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: mother in law, can you watch the kids? My brother,

475
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: my sister, anybody. I just need help and make sure

476
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,479
Speaker 1: Friday's is for her. Sundays his family time. That's my boys.

477
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 1: So on Sundays can nobody getting away of that. That's

478
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: me and my boys. Monday through Thursday, that's my time.

479
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: That's where I go out there and get this money.

480
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: So from Monday through Thursday, she knows my mother in

481
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: law who lived with us, No and my boys. No,

482
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: leave Daddy alone because Daddy's trying to get that time

483
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 1: for us for the weekend. So let him do his

484
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: thing during the week. If you're deliberate and you prioritize

485
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: everything else a phone in line, appreciate that you appreciate it. Hillo,

486
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 1: My question is, Um, I am currently dating now and

487
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: I've never had to battle with um dealing with for

488
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: the first time, I've been dealing with being too educated.

489
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: I don't feel like as a black woman with several degrees,

490
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: I feel like dating I avoid bringing that up because

491
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: I constantly like it's it's a hindrance for me. And

492
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: I've noticed that in dating, Like what advice can you give?

493
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to dim my life because you should,

494
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: and and Um, I just want some advice like how

495
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: do you navigate conversations when you know you're dating and

496
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: they're asking you know you're currently school with you know,

497
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: what do you do? And you say you have X,

498
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: Y and Z And it's like, WHOA, she's too educated

499
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: for me? Like what what advice do you give? Because

500
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm finding that as a hindrance. The first thing I'll

501
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: give you as a dude is if you tell a

502
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: young man that you're interested in that you're educated, and

503
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: you get scared, that's the wrong man to be talking

504
00:31:55,360 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: to you. So that's a simple that's a full is that, Like,

505
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: the only thing we have is black people to lean

506
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: back on is our education. Majority of us do not

507
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: come from generational wealth. The only way we can build

508
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: it moving forward is about being educated. So if he

509
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: doesn't want to educate himself, he's afraid that you're educated,

510
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: you can't possibly build with him moving forward. So you said,

511
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 1: you know what, brother, I'm out and move on. You

512
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: don't hit it with a thank you because at least

513
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: at that point you're you're doing yourself a favor. You're

514
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: doing a favor and you know at that point it's

515
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: probably not going to end up working. But also to

516
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: what is your approach like whenever you're meeting someone for

517
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: the first time, are you someone that rattles off your

518
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: degrees and then you feel like, you know, how do

519
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: you think it comes up that maybe you can maybe

520
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: all to that in the sense that good point. That's

521
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: a good point. So how do you normally approach a conversation?

522
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: I never say anything. They're the ones who usually ask,

523
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: and I avoid it because of what I've experienced before.

524
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: It's usually like what do you do for work? And

525
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: the conversation is to, oh, what's cool you went to?

526
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: And then you know it gets into that and you

527
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 1: can see like the reluctance when I start talking about it,

528
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: So I never bring it up. I'm me. I'll give

529
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: you a little bit of transparency. Sometimes it may be

530
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: difficult for him man, because he may feel like if

531
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: you say your degrees that you may come with a

532
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: certain amount of baggage where you feel like you're automatically better.

533
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: He may feel that way. So I wouldn't go off

534
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: the initial response. Continue to talk to him if you're interested,

535
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: and if he continues to give you that energy to bounce,

536
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: but don't don't damn it, don't dam your light, continue

537
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: to be who you are, and ultimately somebody's gonna come

538
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: that wants that light that you have, and it's a wrap,

539
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: y'all gonna build something great and you're gonna just be

540
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: shine and doing your things together because she got the masses.

541
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: I don't I hear about it all the time. I

542
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: love it though, Thank you, thank you so much. Hi.

543
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: So my question is, so, my question is, um, how

544
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: do you go about someone saying oh, when you're asking like,

545
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: what do we're doing? Type question? And it's oh, I

546
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: want to go with the flow. What depends on what's flow? Like,

547
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: wait a minute, depends on what's flow. That's a fair

548
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 1: question and it's a fair answer. Sometimes you don't know

549
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: what you want. You got to meet people first, right. However,

550
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:25,280
Speaker 1: when you do meet people, I would think that anyone

551
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: who's out there dating, because I have been dated in

552
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: a long time, so I speak kind of hypothetically, I

553
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 1: would think that I'm dating with some sort of intention,

554
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: So not sure what my I'm not sure what your

555
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 1: intention is, but I know what my intention is, and

556
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 1: I think that's something that should be clearly stated in

557
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 1: the very beginning, that should be after the first a

558
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: second conversation, maybe first a second date. Is that typically

559
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,479
Speaker 1: how we go all those dators out there, single people?

560
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: How does that work? Yeah? More or less. No, So

561
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 1: we don't have intentions when we date. We just go

562
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: with the flow. Let's explain something to y'all. Let me

563
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: explain something to y'all. All right, all right, so I'm

564
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 1: gonna beat dead ass. All right? As a as a brother,

565
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 1: you don't necessarily go into every conversation knowing I'm gonna

566
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: have a marriage and four kids with this woman. Sometimes, right,

567
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: sometimes I noticed I said four kids aren't want You're right?

568
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 1: That went right on my head on purpose. Sometimes, and

569
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 1: this is an answer for you. Sometimes you really don't know.

570
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't know, and sometimes it takes time to

571
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: build a connection with someone. What you do is you

572
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 1: take that answer and say, hey, I'm gonna go with

573
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: the flow. Okay, we're gonna go with the flow, but

574
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: you're gonna set personal boundaries for yourself of what you're

575
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: willing to accept and non accept. And then once you

576
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: set those personal boundaries for yourself, if that person is

577
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: not willing to move with the flow you're trying to flow,

578
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: you move on, but you don't have to have a flow.

579
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 1: You can't just be so rigid in the beginning on

580
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: the first conversation and say I'm going with the flow.

581
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: Now I want kids. So that ain't gonna work. It

582
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: ain't gonna work. I'm just staying. So that's the question.

583
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 1: The question I have is are you still around, You're

584
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: still going with the flow or what? It's only been

585
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: like six months? So you've been going with the flow

586
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 1: for six months? Hold on, sammerdown, summerdown. You met somebody

587
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: with the flow nineties? Six months? Oh my god, I

588
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: want to live in another state. Don't talk this young

589
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: lady live in another state, like, I will not allow it.

590
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is in six months at least we've

591
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: been going with more than a flow. Now, well, he

592
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: also lives at a state. I'm twenty five. I was saying,

593
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: we was going with for eight years. That's what you

594
00:36:48,360 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: call it. That's cut us podcasts, everybody. I appreciate the time. Well,

595
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: I'll be damned, no, no, no, the flow all right,

596
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: but that's news to me. You see, I told you

597
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: you're always constantly learning about your partners. So I'll learn

598
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 1: something we do tonight, all right. So what we're gonna

599
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: be doing for the rest of our lives. It's going

600
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: with the flow. Why you ask this, dusk, It's a

601
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: valid question. Ahead. That's gonna be a new hashtag when

602
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: y'all see gold with the Flow under my pictures on Instagram.

603
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: Down you know where it's started, right, I'm just out

604
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: here in this freestyle and going with My words were

605
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 1: taken out of context. It was the network they played

606
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 1: that clip. I don't know what We're gonna have a

607
00:37:46,880 --> 00:38:00,399
Speaker 1: great aversion when a shady boots, shady boots, shady boots. Listen, listen, listen,

608
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: tread lightly. You asked him, right, where are we going?

609
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 1: How about rather than asking him you tell him where

610
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: you want to go? Tell him where you want to go.

611
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 1: I'm all right, so where we're going? So there you go. Question.

612
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: I think we had time. Maybe one more. All right,

613
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: let's see seys. What's up? Hi? CoDeeN? Hi? What's your name? Dominique? Dominique?

614
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 1: What's going on this? Hi? The bell? You know, I'm

615
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: waiting for her to say, shut up the bell? But

616
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: everybody kind of late, I'm sorry, everybody kind of segued

617
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: into the question. I'm a singleton us. But the biggest

618
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: thing in my last relationship was just dealing with We

619
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 1: were both professionals. He had a PhD. I have my

620
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: d v M. All right, wonderful, we're on our careers.

621
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 1: We graduated in the same year. But it was just

622
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: this kind of how do you not overbear the relationship?

623
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: How do you keep things kind of handled? Because I'm like,

624
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: you are at my level. We're about both at each

625
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: other's level. But he always was insecure. So as a

626
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: woman in the relationship, how or as a man, well,

627
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: this gonna happen with a woman too, How do you

628
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 1: guys maintain that balance of not making someone feel like

629
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 1: they're less achieved than the other. It's funny, and I

630
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: talked about this a lot, and it's not in terms

631
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: of a level of one having more achievements than the other.

632
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: I think the things that we've struggled with more recently,

633
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: it's like, for example, as business partners, our style of

634
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: doing things, which is funny. I won't go into too

635
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: much detail, only because we just did a podcast like

636
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: on this for about season three, so uming season three

637
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 1: is gonna be out our second y'all No March fourth,

638
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: March four, so I know March fourth um, But there

639
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: was many times that because the VAL's method and process

640
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 1: in doing things was different than mine, he would sometimes

641
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: either look down on it or he would not take

642
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: me seriously in that moment, and for me, I then

643
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: ended up feeling like I was inadequate or I was

644
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: the lesser of the two because I was working through

645
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: my own process to get things done. Now, I dealt

646
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: with procrastination a lot, and I've said that before many times,

647
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: so he saw sometimes when I was really trying to

648
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: get stuff done, it was just me being a procrastinator,

649
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: but in turn, I was actually working through my process

650
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: to get things done. I work differently. I'm a last

651
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: minute kind of person. I'll bang it out and I'll

652
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,879
Speaker 1: get that A on that paper, because you know, people

653
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: just function and operate differently. So one thing that we

654
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 1: had to do more recently was kind of give each

655
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 1: other space to to be able to be our own entities.

656
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: And I think the lions got blurred for us a

657
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: lot because being together eighteen years, married almost ten, A

658
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,320
Speaker 1: lot of times the lions get blurred and then in

659
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: turn causes a lot of resentment. Intention So that's how

660
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: we've dealt with it recently. Is to kind of give

661
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: each other space to do our own thing, and then

662
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 1: we'll touch face when necessary, because it was taking a

663
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 1: toll on our marriage now because when I was dealing

664
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: with him as a business partner, I'll be pissed at

665
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: something he did then and then it carries over to

666
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: me being his wife. So at that point, don't touch me,

667
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: don't kiss me. I want to look at you. I

668
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: want to spend time with you because I'm still mad

669
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: about what happened when we're on the clock, and then

670
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: I had to learn, you know what did that. Sometimes

671
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: we have to punch out and know how to divide

672
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: and separate the two. Thank you. I agree he's gonna

673
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,320
Speaker 1: through everything. I stayed from here on out going with

674
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: the flood. Absolutely. Valentine's Day is flying. No, I agree.

675
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: We put a boundary in our marriage and said and

676
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 1: we we prefaced everything by saying this. I'm speaking as

677
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: a business partner. So with everything I say at this point,

678
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: you know I'm talking about the business. I don't ever

679
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: want to be punished as a husband for something I

680
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: say as a business partner. Once you begin to separate that,

681
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 1: you start to realize that the person that's speaking to you,

682
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: was speaking to you from a different per a different

683
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: purpose than he is is your husband or wife. So

684
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 1: as partners, I wouldn't get so caught up in the

685
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 1: degrees and what you do for your hustle because, like

686
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: Dan said, her hustle is different than mine, but we're

687
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: both hustling. If you're both hustling and working together, continue

688
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: to work together. But you got to put that barrier

689
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,919
Speaker 1: in the middle at some point in the day and say, Okay,

690
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: now I'm just your lover, I'm your best friend, I'm

691
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: your homie. Let's talk about something else. If you separate it,

692
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 1: you'll be able to find that divide and communicate effection. Yeah,

693
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: but of course, still offer encouragement because we all need

694
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: a little encouragement motivation every now and again. You know

695
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: what kind of separate the two for sure? Okay, thank you,

696
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: thank you. We got time for one more question, more question,

697
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: Sorry y'all, y'all gonna email us dais at gmail dot

698
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: com and we'll get to tell us you at the show,

699
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: so we know for sure that y'all at the show.

700
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for coming up. Hey guys, knowing my name

701
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: is Ontario, Ontario. Hey there where my fiance ten years.

702
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: I got a simple question. It's like the hardest thing

703
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: when it comes to food and you ask each other

704
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 1: what you want to eat and the female says, I

705
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: don't know what he saying. When it comes to food

706
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,399
Speaker 1: and you asked her what she wants to eat, she says,

707
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: she don't know. You pick, and you pick something and

708
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: I don't want that. I'm gonna be a hunt's honest.

709
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: When I asked her what she want to eat, she

710
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: knows what she wanna eat, like she knows I'm listening.

711
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,879
Speaker 1: I think that's give her grace. She asked you to pick,

712
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: you pick something, she don't like what you pick, give

713
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: her grace to change your mind. And then once she

714
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: changed your mind, say okay, David, because I'm gonna tell

715
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 1: you right now. In marriage, sometimes there is just no

716
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: who fucking answer, brute like it's no answer. Sometimes I'm

717
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: telling the truth. Bro, you're gonna rack your brains trying

718
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 1: to out. Stop trying to rack your brain. Understand that

719
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: y'all a very different beings, that'd be different. So when

720
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: she started doing stuff like that, just look at just

721
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 1: remember why you love kay. See what I'm saying, Maybe

722
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: finishing you try to sentences and all that. Okay, that's

723
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: something simple like that. That's mine. Don't need a trip

724
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: on that. That was quick. We actually got time for

725
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 1: one more. Somebody having in the way. Yes, I was yo,

726
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't letting y'all go shout out to Ferrick Paddicky

727
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: Jim straining the boys. My wife is here. She didn't

728
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 1: even know that I was down here. I told I

729
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 1: was coming to get a drinking a live. She's right there.

730
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: You left your wife, wife because I got a serious question, wife, serious?

731
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 1: Is it gonna get you back home tonight? Or you're

732
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: gonna have to much gonna cost? But it don't matter

733
00:44:53,960 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: how much sense is enough? Listen? We got to meet

734
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 1: in Greek tickets, So if you don't want to answer

735
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: it right now, make sure you answer it later. Please,

736
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: I got another one, so listen, um, all right, listen

737
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: when you are amen? Who is as attracted to your

738
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 1: wife as I'm attracted to my life? Enough? Right enough,

739
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 1: with respect, with respect, I don't blame you, so all right?

740
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 1: Enough is never enough. You see the woman that you've

741
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: fallen in love with, you only get to choose one

742
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: that you want to marry. You want to give for

743
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: that love all the time. So to be honest, she

744
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,439
Speaker 1: could give it to you every day, every other day,

745
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: it's never gonna be enough because you're always gonna want more.

746
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 1: You under want more. It's the truth. Right. But here's

747
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: the thing, right, And this is what I had to learn.

748
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: Our bodies are made differently, very very differently. There are

749
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 1: things that I'm able to do and get up for

750
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: that she can't necessarily get up for every single day, right,

751
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: And he's not. He has no problems getting up for anything.

752
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: So it takes a certain level of discipline to be

753
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 1: in a monogamous relationship and find happiness as a man.

754
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that it's not it's not easy. It's

755
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 1: not easy. But what you gotta remember is if you

756
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 1: tell her and she works hard enough to help you

757
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: as much as she can, you gotta be appreciative of

758
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: it because there's no other option, or it's death. You see,

759
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,919
Speaker 1: I had to come close to me death. It don't

760
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: matter because to be honest, there was a point where

761
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: we were trying to do it every day and full transparency.

762
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: Her body couldn't take it. Her body, she physics Lee

763
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: could not take it. She was getting sick. We had

764
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: to go to the doctor. There were things happening, and

765
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 1: I'm like that, but I was putting it on it.

766
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: I was putting it on her. I was putting I

767
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to be your girlfriend. I was we y'all

768
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: think about it. We've been together since eighteen Imagine how

769
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: much test stops there on. She had to deal with

770
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: eighteen NFL and then how many times I had to

771
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 1: reinvent the wheel after kids, after all those different things.

772
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 1: Ladies out there with kids, y'all know how it goes.

773
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: It's not Listen, it's not it's not easy. And and

774
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:34,240
Speaker 1: this is the truth. There has to be a certain

775
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: amount of empathy as a man for your wife, and

776
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: there has to be a certain amount of empathy as

777
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: a woman for your men. If y'all can express that

778
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: empathy and continue to work to make that spark happen,

779
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: there's never gonna be a number that I can tell

780
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 1: you that's gonna be exact. Y'all just got to continue

781
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 1: to work. Because we've been together eighteen years, we still

782
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: have this debate. It never goes away, It never ever

783
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,479
Speaker 1: goes abait. We debated about this last week. Last week,

784
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:08,320
Speaker 1: Bro last week. So just love on your wife and

785
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: I will give you this one tip. Find out ways

786
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: that can make her get in the mood when she

787
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: may not want to be in the mood, you know.

788
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 1: But for us, we have these conversations and we talk

789
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: about it bluntly, and that's how we get through it.

790
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,720
Speaker 1: We're able to laugh about it now and make jokes.

791
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: But the ship wasn't always funny and still ain't funny

792
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 1: what we still talk about it now, so it would

793
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 1: be the same thing. Should be funny to some time.

794
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 1: Don't be funny as long as funny is what you

795
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: knocking my shoes with it, that's what's funny. But my

796
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: wife love you guys. We moved that here because we

797
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: all thank you so much out in here because of us. Yeah,

798
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,399
Speaker 1: we heard Johan, he's John Ty of her in the show,

799
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: so happy, Oh damn, oh goodness, and we moved to

800
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: l An It's right. We might circle back, Like I

801
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 1: said at the top of the show, we might circle Yeah. Nah,

802
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 1: you don't follow us, why causing all this trouble with

803
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 1: this sexual you won't even live here. I hope y'all

804
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: single women chumping sides we get outside. Nah, Hey, everybody,

805
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here with us. We

806
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: love y'all. Give yourself to a round of applause. Bryant

807
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: Short and Junior. Come on, Ryan, give a round of

808
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: applause for Brian Shorty. Julia, give a round of applause

809
00:49:48,640 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: for Djae I huge thank you to everyone who came

810
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: out to our Atlanta show. We can't wait to be

811
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: back and do it again. Let me tell y'all, it

812
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: was such a good time. It was unbelievable and we

813
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: really really love you all. Shout out a t L.

814
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: Be sure to follow us on social media. That's I

815
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: am devout and I am Subscribe to dead Ass on Stitcher, Spotify,

816
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you're listening right now. If you're

817
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: listening on Apple podcast, make sure you rate and review

818
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: us dead as dead Ass is a production of Stitcher.

819
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 1: We are produced by Jackie Sojico and Dinor Opinion. Our

820
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 1: executive producer t Square. Our associate producers are Triple and

821
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: Kristin Torres. Our Chief content officer is Chris Bannon. Our

822
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: studio engineer and original music is by Brendan Burns and

823
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: Last but not least, we are mixed by Andy Kristen's

824
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: We'll Back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth. We

825
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: have a podcast going on right now as part of

826
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 1: the Stitchen Everywhere called Substraction that's available everywhere. Get a

827
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 1: podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen right now to

828
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 1: the Distraction, right now. It's out. Do it. Please,