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Speaker 1: The Friend Show is on. It's stay or go all right.

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Speaker 2: Brandys, your hot Brandy, good morning, Good morning, Hi Johan,

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Speaker 2: what's going on? Tell us about your situation here with

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Speaker 2: your your boyfriend, because again, who else to call but

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Speaker 2: your friends on the radio when things are going your

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Speaker 2: way or you don't think.

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Speaker 1: They are exactly exactly, Yeah, what's up? All right?

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Speaker 3: So let me just say, first of all, I love

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Speaker 3: my boyfriend, and honestly like he's a great guy. I've

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Speaker 3: been really really happy with him, but there's something that

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Speaker 3: is making me feel a little uneasy. About seven months ago,

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Speaker 3: his ex girlfriend's mom became really really sick.

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Speaker 1: And you know, he was with.

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Speaker 3: His ex for five years before we were dating, and

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Speaker 3: he was extremely close to the mom, and so of

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Speaker 3: course when he found out, he was also devastated, and

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Speaker 3: his impulse was like to step up and help, and

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Speaker 3: which again I love, great guy. But since then he's

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Speaker 3: been going I mean above and beyond, like delivering groceries,

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Speaker 3: drapping her to doctor's appointments if no one else can,

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Speaker 3: and even just like going over there, like helping her

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Speaker 3: in the house, which is all side and well, but

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Speaker 3: that means I'm seeing him less and the X when

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Speaker 3: the mom was seeing him more.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, it's hard.

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Speaker 5: I mean I see both sides of this, Like she

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Speaker 5: wants to make sure that he isn't helping the mom

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Speaker 5: because he still has feelings for his ex or he

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Speaker 5: still has some desire to be a part of that family.

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Speaker 5: But then the other side is he probably, depending on

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Speaker 5: how long he was together with the ex, he probably

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Speaker 5: really like, oh yeah, he has a really like a

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Speaker 5: relationship with that mother. You know, he might look at

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Speaker 5: her as a second mom figure in his life. Or

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Speaker 5: he's probably just trying to be very helpful. But when

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Speaker 5: you are in a new relationship, you do have to

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Speaker 5: consider your part and his feelings when it comes to that.

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Speaker 1: And I know that from experience. I think it's the

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Speaker 1: right thing to do.

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Speaker 2: You know, he has a relationship with this woman it

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Speaker 2: sounds like, and a connection with her, and he feels

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Speaker 2: compelled to help her. I don't necessarily think it has

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Speaker 2: to have anything to do with with the ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, there's more exposure, but I mean, would

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Speaker 2: you rather that there's like a hatred? I mean I

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Speaker 2: always say this, like when people have a civil relationship

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Speaker 2: with an X, like would you rather have some sort

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Speaker 2: of a lack of respect or a hatred or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Would you rather something functional?

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Speaker 1: Functional? And I feel bad?

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Speaker 3: They say, know, they need to help, And I've just

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Speaker 3: been feeling really guilty and uncomfortable about it for a while.

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Speaker 2: Now, you know, yeah, eight five, five, five, nine, one

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Speaker 2: one three five. As I get hold the French show

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Speaker 2: call it texta the same number. I mean, what do

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Speaker 2: you do you know your your your boyfriend is helping

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Speaker 2: out the ex is mom? I mean, but but without that,

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Speaker 2: prior to him doing this, you didn't have any suspicion

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Speaker 2: that he had any interest in her otherwise, right, I

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Speaker 2: mean I always ask this question, but like, you did

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Speaker 2: not trust him, so why not trust him?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good point.

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Speaker 2: And someone was like, why don't you why don't you

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Speaker 2: get involved? Like why don't you just go with him?

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Speaker 2: Oh wait a minute, now, Well I don't know. I mean,

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Speaker 2: that's if you're concerned about the nature of the of

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Speaker 2: his assistance, then why.

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Speaker 1: Don't you You know, if.

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Speaker 2: You're really worried about it, then I suppose you could

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Speaker 2: go with him, right, and then nothing's going to happen?

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Speaker 3: Then, yeah, it's less about him, like something happening and

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Speaker 3: more about that I miss our time, Like I feel

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Speaker 3: like we don't have as much time for us because

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Speaker 3: you're spending more time over here.

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Speaker 1: That's a problem, you know, Yeah, I mean you can't

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Speaker 1: get that.

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Speaker 2: I would also agree that that his desire to want

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Speaker 2: to help her cannot take over his life and your

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Speaker 2: life together. I mean I think there's some what is

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Speaker 2: the ex doing? By the way, is she helping or

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Speaker 2: is she doing nothing? Because that's another thing, like is

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Speaker 2: is is she not doing anything? Because it means that

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Speaker 2: now kind of flipping my thoughts on this, because is

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Speaker 2: she not doing anything? Because he is? And that means

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Speaker 2: she gets more exposure to him? Like where is the

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Speaker 2: daughter in all this? Like she should be the one

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Speaker 2: caring most of the weight.

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Speaker 6: Right, It takes a village though I don't know what

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Speaker 6: the mom has or what kind of illness, But if

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Speaker 6: someone's terminal and people have jobs and they need to

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Speaker 6: go to doctor's appointments and they need to do food

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Speaker 6: and you get burnt out, I mean takes more than

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Speaker 6: just one person.

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Speaker 1: They can't carry that.

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Speaker 7: But his ex, his mom should be no longer his concern,

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Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying?

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Speaker 1: Those Oh, those that is hard those relationships end. When

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Speaker 1: that relationship.

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Speaker 2: Ends, why, I don't necessarily agree with that. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I don't know anything about your boyfriend, Brandy, but you know,

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Speaker 2: maybe he has a rough relationship with different people in

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Speaker 2: his family. Maybe his mother died. I mean, I guess

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Speaker 2: you can tell me if I'm right a wrong. Maybe

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Speaker 2: somebody in his family passed away. Maybe his grandmother or

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Speaker 2: mom was significant, and she reminds him or fills that void.

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Speaker 2: And so they had what sounds like a relatively amicable

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Speaker 2: breakup such that they could all still be in the

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Speaker 2: same place together and which I think is probably a

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Speaker 2: good sign. And then you know, he feels in need

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Speaker 2: a connection to this woman and a need to want

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Speaker 2: to help her, which I also think is the right thing.

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Speaker 2: I mean, wouldn't you hope, Brandy, if it didn't work

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Speaker 2: out between you two, then he would still support you

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Speaker 2: so that you can have that kind of relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean yes, yes, And that's why I feel

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Speaker 3: awful and like pretty guilty about the whole thing. Like

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Speaker 3: I know he's doing the right thing, but it can't

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Speaker 3: help the way it feeling.

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Speaker 2: You know, No, Brandy, I don't think you're you're invalidated

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Speaker 2: in feeling a certain kind of way about it, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, maybe it's jealous or concerned.

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Speaker 1: I think that's natural.

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Speaker 2: But then I think, you know, you kind of have

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Speaker 2: to sort of look at the facts and what you know.

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Speaker 2: And you trust your boyfriend, and you think he's a

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Speaker 2: good guy, and you've been with him for a long time.

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Speaker 2: You've never had any reason to doubt him, and now

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Speaker 2: it kind of sounds like he's a stand up guy.

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Speaker 8: You know.

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Speaker 1: I guess I choose to look.

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Speaker 2: At this from a positive standpoint as opposed to just

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Speaker 2: automatically going to, well, he must want her back, because

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Speaker 2: if he wanted her back, then you would, I think,

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Speaker 2: would see signs of that over the past five years.

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Speaker 2: You haven't been with this guy for three months. You

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Speaker 2: want this guy for five years.

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Speaker 3: She was with him for.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's still a long time. This isn't new.

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Speaker 2: You didn't just meet on Tinder, you know, this is

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Speaker 2: this is relatively new. Let me take some phone calls, Brandy,

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Speaker 2: but I wish you the best. I appreciate you calling

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Speaker 2: and sharing. Okay, good, Yeah, you have a great day. Kelsey. Hi, Kelsey,

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Speaker 2: good morning, Hi, Good morning, Kelsey. What do you think

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Speaker 2: what's going on here.

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Speaker 9: I think she should stay.

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Speaker 8: I actually am close with my ex's mom, but I

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Speaker 8: do think there should be some boundaries, like driving to.

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Speaker 3: The appointments and things like that.

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Speaker 8: I think might be crossing the line a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But what if there's nobody else to do it?

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Speaker 2: You know, what if he's literally the only guy that

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Speaker 2: can do this that's not an uber or a you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know some.

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Speaker 1: Kind of service about a daughter. Well, but that's what

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's picking up the slack and I don't know

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Speaker 2: these answers, but maybe she works, you know, fifty hours

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Speaker 2: a week and he's picking up the slack because he

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Speaker 2: loves this woman, which I don't think is out of bounds.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: Rufe's over here saying once you break up with somebody

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Speaker 2: that you can burn the whole thing down.

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Speaker 1: I don't agree with that.

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Speaker 9: I don't agree with it.

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Speaker 1: I stopped loving like the mom. Like, I don't understand

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Speaker 1: how you just stopped loving someone.

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Speaker 8: I'm just saying like.

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Speaker 7: Like like she's the caller saying like where is the

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Speaker 7: daughter and all this? Yes, she could be busy, but

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Speaker 7: it shouldn't be left on this ex boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: He's choosing to help. It's not left on him. No,

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Speaker 1: that's just a lot. I agree with the boundaries part

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Speaker 1: of this. I do agree with the boundaries part of this, and.

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Speaker 8: I my ex I don't like him at all, but

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Speaker 8: his mom is like a saint and she even is

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Speaker 8: like I love you or the daughter I never had.

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Speaker 8: But I don't know if I would be like all

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Speaker 8: up in the business every day like that, like to

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Speaker 8: the level that it appears this guy is.

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Speaker 2: You know, yeah, because you know Again on the flip side,

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Speaker 2: I was saying it before, it's possible. I suppose that

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Speaker 2: the ex girlfriend is you using this as a way

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Speaker 2: for him to kind of come back in.

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Speaker 8: But but edn'ttick to get him wrapped up in this.

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Speaker 2: Well, you're right to hang around more. But I don't

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Speaker 2: know that we can say that for sure, because it's

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Speaker 2: more likely he just feels a connection to this woman

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Speaker 2: and wants to help. Kelsey, thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: listening for Colin. Have a great day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it, Guys, love you. I mean I tried.

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Speaker 2: I try and be an optimist in these things, especially

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Speaker 2: if you've never had any other suspicion. I mean, if

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Speaker 2: this dude's always talking about this woman, and now all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden, you know, he wants to be the

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Speaker 2: savior for the mother.

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Speaker 1: That's different.

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Speaker 2: But the only thing she's got on this guy is

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Speaker 2: that he's helping the mom.

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Speaker 1: That's it, right.

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Speaker 2: You know. We asked your point blank, like do you

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Speaker 2: have any other suspicion? She said no, I trust him. Well,

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Speaker 2: then then I think you have a little bit of insecurity.

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Speaker 2: I think you should vocalize that insecurity to him and

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Speaker 2: it maybe set some boundaries. Renee Hi, Renee hi, Hey,

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Speaker 2: good morning. What do you think about all this?

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Speaker 4: I totally agree with Ruphio. I think that she should go.

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Speaker 4: I just feel like, you know, oh, I personally, I

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Speaker 4: think that five years is not a long relationship. And

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Speaker 4: I think that like if you break up with somebody,

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Speaker 4: you also break up with the family.

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Speaker 2: That's like cool man and a lot of in a

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Speaker 2: lot of cases, I think that's true. But I think

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Speaker 2: that you know, and here I am the guy who's

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Speaker 2: only been in like six month relationships. But I think

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Speaker 2: in other cases, you may connect with somebody from the

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Speaker 2: from that person's family, and I don't know why that

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Speaker 2: you have to just pretend they don't exist anymore. And

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Speaker 2: plus it doesn't sound like they had a bad breakup either.

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Speaker 4: I think it's weird, Like I think that I just

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Speaker 4: I mean, I feel bad for the mom, but it's

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Speaker 4: like I think it's weird, like where's the daughter, Where

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Speaker 4: where's the where's the family's front?

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Speaker 6: Off?

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Speaker 4: You can't do their family, you know, it's weird.

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Speaker 1: I've taken care of sick people. You can't do it

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Speaker 1: all yourself. It's really really hard. You need a village

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Speaker 1: around you always.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Renee, thank you so much for calling. Well, well

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Speaker 2: I hear you. Thank you, thanks for calling, Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 2: Have a good day. I mean, I agree, there's so

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Speaker 2: much sexy. Well, you know what this really is about

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Speaker 2: is she just wants more time with her boyfriend. Well

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Speaker 2: then well then let's talk about that, right. Let's let's

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Speaker 2: say that to him without approaching it from the standpoint

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Speaker 2: of I think this has something to do with your act.

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Speaker 2: So maybe it's just a matter of delegating time and

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Speaker 2: not as much about because I can tell you right now,

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Speaker 2: there's one thing. If I'm dating somebody and she comes

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Speaker 2: to me and has a concern about a relationship I

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Speaker 2: have with a family, member of an AX. That's and

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Speaker 2: she's implying to me that it's inappropriate, or implying to

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Speaker 2: me that I'm cheating, or implying to me that I

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be doing it.

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Speaker 1: That's one thing.

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Speaker 2: But if you come to me and say I don't

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Speaker 2: see enough of you because you're really wrapped up in this,

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Speaker 2: is there any way that we can, you know, focus

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Speaker 2: a little more on our relationship. That's I'm going to

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Speaker 2: interpret that much more positively that I am. If you're

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Speaker 2: implying to me that I might be doing something nefarious.

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Speaker 1: You know, Hey, Mike, Hey, how you doing? Hey, what's up? Mike?

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Speaker 1: What do you think?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 10: I agree with Rifio. You know, he she needs to

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Speaker 10: go because if you're spending more time with your ex'es mom,

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Speaker 10: how do you know that she could be taking a

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Speaker 10: nap trying to recover and you're in this other room

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Speaker 10: with the girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Is like, yeah, big person's in the other room.

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Speaker 2: I just day, so she's good to go for about

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Speaker 2: forty five minutes so I can go to pounds out.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Mike, come on.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, we also don't know who broke up with who

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Speaker 7: in this situation. You know what I'm saying that.

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Speaker 2: I just don't know why we have to go immediately

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Speaker 2: to you know, he's he's on you know, chatterbait with

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Speaker 2: this woman.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, only fans or something.

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Speaker 10: Think about it. Yeah, okay, I mean come on, like

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Speaker 10: you know what, Like my wife was in the same

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Speaker 10: situation when we dated. That was ten years ago. When

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Speaker 10: we dated, we were married eight her ex boyfriend. She

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Speaker 10: was very close to her ex boyfriend's mom and sisters,

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Speaker 10: and we just started dating and I was like, oh, okay.

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Speaker 10: I waited to see her response, but she's like, I'm

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Speaker 10: with you now, you're better, and I'm gonna roll with you.

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Speaker 1: I was like, the fact that.

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Speaker 10: You're hanging out with her more than your actual girlfriend,

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Speaker 10: that's a problem. So I would talk to him if

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Speaker 10: I were her, If she's listening, talk to him, see

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Speaker 10: what his response is. If he's not willing to give

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Speaker 10: it up, then you gotta go.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Mike, Well thank you man, have a

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Speaker 1: good day. Yeah. I think there's something in the middle. Kiki.

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Speaker 5: It's so tough though, Like I feel both sides of this.

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Speaker 5: I would not be comfortable with Big Tim helping his

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Speaker 5: ex's mom to this level, Like I would not be

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Speaker 5: comfortable with it. But on the other hand, I was

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Speaker 5: very very close to my exes mom and sister, and

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Speaker 5: I had to make that decision too. Like, you do

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Speaker 5: have to set boundaries because of your partner's just not

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Speaker 5: comfortable with it.

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Speaker 2: Like there's a difference to Kiki, between setting boundaries and

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Speaker 2: just flat out bailing because the person you're with is

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Speaker 2: insecure and doesn't necessarily have any reason to be true,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, I don't think you

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Speaker 2: have to just say you don't exist anymore. I can't help,

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Speaker 2: but maybe there's got to be something here in the

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Speaker 2: middle if the relationship matters to you. Adrian, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 2: good morning. What do you think stare Go?

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Speaker 9: I think she should say. I think she should go.

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Speaker 11: I'm sixteen years old and I used to date a

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Speaker 11: guy and right now to this day. We dated fifteen

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Speaker 11: years ago, and right now to this day, I go

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Speaker 11: clean his dad's house.

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Speaker 9: He's an elderly guy.

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Speaker 11: I go clean his mom's house, she's eighty three, and

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Speaker 11: I go grocery shopping with her, I take her to

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Speaker 11: the bank, I cook for her.

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Speaker 9: There's nothing I would do for those guys.

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Speaker 11: My parents are deceased, and I also take care of

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Speaker 11: mentally challenged the boats to their home.

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Speaker 9: So I'm just the caregiver all.

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Speaker 1: The way around. You're a wonderful human being.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I am.

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Speaker 2: You deserve to say that too, so good for you, Adrian.

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Speaker 2: You're going to heaven.

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Speaker 9: I hope so you are, because when we living now

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Speaker 9: it's not cool. But I just want to say that

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Speaker 9: it's not involved with that. As long as you keep it.

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Speaker 11: You know, innocent, I'll be going, you know, creaking around whatever.

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Speaker 9: If you dare to take care of the mom, take

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Speaker 9: care of the mom, and that's it.

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Speaker 2: Well, Adrian, thanks for what you do for everybody and

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Speaker 2: for for the world, and thanks for listening for calling.

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Speaker 1: Have a good day, you two, friend, and I love

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Speaker 1: you well. Thank you, Adrian.

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Speaker 2: Hey girl, you know, yeah, thank you Adrian. I'm old

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Speaker 2: and white apparently, so I might need a spongebath soon,

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Speaker 2: so you know where to find me.

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Speaker 9: I'm a caregiver.

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Speaker 1: You did mention that, so ye, man, I hear.

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Speaker 9: You every day. You need love, baby.

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Speaker 2: All right, Adrian, I love you so much.

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Speaker 1: Have a good day though you calling? Oh she was

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Speaker 1: still going.

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Speaker 2: I love you though, I do, and you're a very

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Speaker 2: amazing human, I love her mine.

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Speaker 1: Mind you too, guys. You know what looks to a

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Speaker 1: joint wedding.

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Speaker 2: I joint unplanned wedding in Vegas and a party bust

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Speaker 2: and Adrian and I and the Elvis