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Speaker 1: off Calm your Mind, Change your Life. Join Ruddy and
Speaker 1: I for a special On Purpose episode today with bmw
Speaker 1: Ruddy and I love taking road trips together, and today
Speaker 1: we get to take you on a drive in the
Speaker 1: all electric bmwix. First episode in a car together, I
Speaker 1: know we love going on road trips, and I thought,
Speaker 1: today we just do.
Speaker 3: A little spindle chats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, find a nice lookout point, enjoy the sunset. You know,
Speaker 1: you know I'm a romantic, hopeless romantic. Got questions next
Speaker 1: to you? Amazing the team shows these questions. Let's dive in.
Speaker 3: What is something you would ask my opinion of?
Speaker 1: I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health?
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, okay, I want to deserve. What should
Speaker 1: I eat that's healthy? I would ask your feedback on
Speaker 1: I've been doing this workout, I'm not sure I'm feeling
Speaker 1: good for me bad from it?
Speaker 2: Like, how should I change it up?
Speaker 3: Huh?
Speaker 1: I would ask for your opinion of I want to
Speaker 1: feel like this morning or this in the night, or
Speaker 1: I've got a headache. What should I do that's natural
Speaker 1: and a remedy that's going to help straight away? My
Speaker 1: gut's not feeling so well? What's the change I could
Speaker 1: make that will make me feel better? You know? I
Speaker 1: think I ask your opinion of me sometimes as a
Speaker 1: person like I find it really reassuring and it means
Speaker 1: the world to me when I know that you love
Speaker 1: me and you appreciate me and that you value me.
Speaker 1: I think that means a lot to me because I
Speaker 1: really value your opinion because I think that you're an
Speaker 1: amazing person, and I think that you have a really
Speaker 1: good moral character and are a very honest, genuine person.
Speaker 1: And so when you think good things of me, and
Speaker 1: I think that if I have a choice or a
Speaker 1: decision i'm making, or if i'm sharing something or writing
Speaker 1: something or thinking about something, I always like getting your
Speaker 1: opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through
Speaker 1: with you, then it'll be authentic and deep.
Speaker 3: Oh thanks, good amount of stuff.
Speaker 2: There's more. There's so much more. I'd ask your opinion.
Speaker 4: I would ask you for advice on people, Like if
Speaker 4: I've got some sort of discrepancy with people, or I'm
Speaker 4: feeling a certain way about someone, I know you'll give
Speaker 4: me a really honest opinion about both sides I give
Speaker 4: someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I
Speaker 4: really appreciate you see as the actual situation versus who's involved.
Speaker 3: I ask you about some of my fashion things.
Speaker 4: Even though sometimes you don't see eye, I'll get your
Speaker 4: opinion because may not take it all the time, but
Speaker 4: I will still get the opinion it.
Speaker 3: I would ask you about.
Speaker 4: Every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like
Speaker 4: I'm lacking in trying to get through my day or figure.
Speaker 3: Out what I should do next.
Speaker 4: You're so good at figuring out step by step of
Speaker 4: turning something that feels so big into manageable steps and
Speaker 4: achievable things. So I appreciate that. That's really great for
Speaker 4: me because I feel like I always make things really
Speaker 4: big in my mind and you really help to break
Speaker 4: it down and you're like, actually, let's strip it all back,
Speaker 4: and this is actually what you need to do.
Speaker 3: I would ask.
Speaker 4: Your opinion about our work stuff, like it's just such
Speaker 4: a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding me
Speaker 4: to go back to a deeper intention.
Speaker 3: And I think that's what's so important.
Speaker 4: It's less about you're obviously so good at what you do,
Speaker 4: but even deeper than that. I feel like the motivation
Speaker 4: and the intention behind it is what you always remind
Speaker 4: me of. And so I definitely ask your opinion on
Speaker 4: whether something feels right or wrong, because I think you're always.
Speaker 3: Quite aligned with intention. That's just.
Speaker 2: Appreciate that.
Speaker 3: What is something you wouldn't ask my opinion?
Speaker 1: I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of
Speaker 1: sometimes is my fashion choice because I think I've been
Speaker 1: I've become quite adventurous, you have, and I quite enjoy
Speaker 1: like pushing the boundaries, trying new silhouettes and shapes. And
Speaker 1: to me, it's all about like I feel like I
Speaker 1: get to express myself, like I get to I feel
Speaker 1: like creatively, I also get to push my own limits
Speaker 1: when I'm like, oh, that's what I thought worked, and
Speaker 1: now I'm able to open my mind up to a
Speaker 1: new shape and new color or new space. And I
Speaker 1: enjoyed that, not just in fashion, in all areas of life.
Speaker 1: And I think I get scared sometimes because I do
Speaker 1: also want you to think I look cool, but obviously
Speaker 1: some of the stuff I try sometimes it's pretty out there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I want to be honest, but I still
Speaker 4: think you should do everything like For me, it's more
Speaker 4: you should do whatever makes you feel happy is that
Speaker 4: you want to do. But then I'm not going to
Speaker 4: tell you I like something if I.
Speaker 2: Don't totally appreciate the not asking.
Speaker 3: Is probably the best route to go.
Speaker 1: With because because I'm using so much of my confidence
Speaker 1: to pull it off, that then if some if I
Speaker 1: ask your opinion and then you don't like It's like,
Speaker 1: that's really hard because I already know it's already had.
Speaker 4: To push it always say I don't like it, but
Speaker 4: you should wear what you like, like, you should wear
Speaker 4: what you you feel comfortable in. You should wear what
Speaker 4: you makes you happy, because if you don't feel comfortable,
Speaker 4: happy and what you're wearing, then doesn't matter who likes it.
Speaker 4: It really makes no difference. So I think it should
Speaker 4: be a personal expression. I think it's so cool that
Speaker 4: you express yourself in that way, and I think it's
Speaker 4: cool that you feel free to do that.
Speaker 2: I believe you have to have.
Speaker 1: Different people in your life for different things, and I
Speaker 1: recommend everyone does this activity where you write down every
Speaker 1: need you have in your life, you match that to
Speaker 1: a person in your life, and if you have a gap,
Speaker 1: often what ends up happening is you expect that of
Speaker 1: your partner, or you expect that of your sibling, or
Speaker 1: you expect that of your parent. Rather than going, well,
Speaker 1: let me be proactive and take responsibility for finding the
Speaker 1: person that solves this gap. So let's say you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't have someone to go roller skating with, for example,
Speaker 1: because I know you love rollerskating.
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well let me go.
Speaker 1: And find that person because I'm horrific we're skating and
Speaker 1: it's an acquiet taste, right, And so it's a specific
Speaker 1: interest that other people may not be talented or skilled,
Speaker 1: just like I like playing football and you don't.
Speaker 2: And so I think finding that person is really important.
Speaker 3: You're using you know what, I'm really like about this car.
Speaker 3: You can use hand gestures.
Speaker 4: To do things, but for what But so you're moving
Speaker 4: your hands around because you're an expressive talker, but you're
Speaker 4: basically it does everything from like you can use so
Speaker 4: which is kind of cool because you don't have to
Speaker 4: press pussons, but it does it to change songs and stuff. See,
Speaker 4: But because you're so expressive, it's doing things without you
Speaker 4: even knowing, So tone it down.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah, what was your thing that.
Speaker 4: You wouldn't come ask your opinion of? I know you're
Speaker 4: good with like solutions. So if I don't want a solution,
Speaker 4: I just want to I don't know, probably won't come
Speaker 4: to you.
Speaker 2: That's so good, but I want you to feel.
Speaker 4: No, no, not like that was just half joking, But yeah,
Speaker 4: I know that sometimes if I don't want a solution.
Speaker 2: I just want to like, I know you can always
Speaker 2: tell me that you know that. Yeah, always come to
Speaker 2: me and say, look, I don't.
Speaker 4: Want to totally well else not ask your opinion on
Speaker 4: I probably ask your opinion about food, definitely not.
Speaker 3: I like sometimes.
Speaker 4: Asking other people to pick for me, but then you
Speaker 4: don't enjoy doing.
Speaker 3: That either, So yeah, I think that's a good good,
Speaker 3: good selection.
Speaker 1: Really, what is there in your life do you think
Speaker 1: that you have need that you haven't found the person yet? Like,
Speaker 1: what what is it that you would think you need
Speaker 1: on a weekly, monthly basis in your life? And you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't have that friend yet, or
Speaker 1: like I haven't built that relationship.
Speaker 2: I haven't proactively figured it out.
Speaker 3: The friends to work out with.
Speaker 4: Yea, I have friends that I can call just the
Speaker 4: past time with. I have friends to have meaningful conversations
Speaker 4: with their friends, to do spiritual activities with. Not necessarily
Speaker 4: as much here as I do in London, but.
Speaker 2: Still, yeah, that's for me as well.
Speaker 4: I have my mom for a lot of stuff. She
Speaker 4: takes a lot of boxes. You take a lot of
Speaker 4: boxes my friends.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like that'fe that's good.
Speaker 3: My sister takes a lot of boxes for me.
Speaker 2: No, that's good. That's a good place my niece.
Speaker 3: And nephew for some fun and silly convos.
Speaker 2: I've been looking for a competitive fee for friend.
Speaker 1: Oh you need a competitive you do like someone who
Speaker 1: really gets me to become better?
Speaker 4: Maybe you know, I miss having like a friend that
Speaker 4: just comes and like sits and does nothing with me.
Speaker 4: I like having friends that sometimes we just exist together,
Speaker 4: maybe take naps together, maybe just like watch something but
Speaker 4: don't have to talk together. Yeah, a lot it said,
Speaker 4: but just like nothing is actually said like that. Oh
Speaker 4: and if adone really likes watching reality TV show, because
Speaker 4: I that's my like little secret indulgent pleasure thing where
Speaker 4: I just like switching off And I haven't quite found
Speaker 4: a friend who likes sitting and binge watching reality TV.
Speaker 4: If we had to switch roles for a day, what's
Speaker 4: the first thing you do as.
Speaker 2: Me didn't work out?
Speaker 1: Those are the fact Those are the two non negotiables
Speaker 1: in Radi's life.
Speaker 3: For every.
Speaker 2: Thing you'll never be late for is a workout and meditations.
Speaker 1: She's always there. Yeah, it's amazing, it's really impressive.
Speaker 3: It's impressive.
Speaker 1: Mentally, it's impressive though, Like I think it takes a
Speaker 1: lot of dedication to have a non negotiable, And I
Speaker 1: think it's amazing that your non negotiable habits are so
Speaker 1: important because they set you up for the rest of you.
Speaker 1: They do, And it's like, if you compromised on those
Speaker 1: two things, could you imagine what life would be like?
Speaker 3: No, I think I just really struggle going through the
Speaker 3: day without it.
Speaker 1: And I think what's really amazing is that you having
Speaker 1: those non negotiables has inspired me to have similar non negotiables,
Speaker 1: especially with working out in a way that I don't
Speaker 1: think I would have had if someone forced me to,
Speaker 1: if someone preached me to.
Speaker 2: Do, if someone made me do it.
Speaker 1: Like when I see you dedicated every single day to
Speaker 1: your workout, whether it's a week day, whether it's a weekend,
Speaker 1: whether it's to workout today, I look at that and go, okay,
Speaker 1: got it, Like that's a really great discipline.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's nice having things that you really appreciate in
Speaker 4: your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from.
Speaker 4: I feel like they're few and far between because it
Speaker 4: doesn't ever seem like you're working. It's just like part
Speaker 4: of your being, and it's the person that you are
Speaker 4: on screen, off screen with friends, with family, Like, I
Speaker 4: don't see a difference in that because that is just
Speaker 4: what you absolutely love doing. It's like your full nature
Speaker 4: to be that, and so there's no negotiables come because
Speaker 4: you just feel and see the deep impact that it
Speaker 4: has on you, and then you kind of can't, Like
Speaker 4: you just know that. I just know I'm not gonna
Speaker 4: have a great day, even if it's not crazy workouts,
Speaker 4: even if it's just a walk or movement, it's just
Speaker 4: so important. And I always see movement as mind movement,
Speaker 4: body movement both equally so important.
Speaker 3: And I think meditation is.
Speaker 4: Great mind movement and walking or workouts is great body movement.
Speaker 4: But both of them help with your emotional wellbeing, your
Speaker 4: physical well being, your communication, just get things flowing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's an amazing Zen teacher that says what movement
Speaker 1: does for your body, mindfulness does for your mind, or
Speaker 1: meditation does for your mind, And I love that.
Speaker 3: What was the question then, if it's.
Speaker 4: Just rolls for a day, what was the first thing
Speaker 4: you do as me as you I would, I would
Speaker 4: go on a Facebook, live Facebook or like an Instagram
Speaker 4: live whatever, and I would fully start acting out like
Speaker 4: just things you wouldn't say, things you wouldn't do.
Speaker 2: This is more like Freaky Friday. That's the point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would dress crazy and I would oh, you
Speaker 4: know what I do. I would get people to just
Speaker 4: realize how wacky and like fun you are, because sometimes
Speaker 4: people don't see that. If you know what, you'd go
Speaker 4: into work and I'd be like, you know what, today, guys,
Speaker 4: we're not going to work today. We're just going to
Speaker 4: sit around, cook something, have a little chat.
Speaker 1: And then I want to answer that question back for you,
Speaker 1: because that's a fun one.
Speaker 2: So beautifully.
Speaker 1: Look at this unbelievable. I love these lookout points in La.
Speaker 1: They're really special. They're really special. Just open up the mind,
Speaker 1: and I love how you can just pull up and
Speaker 1: find a spot and yeah, really take it all in.
Speaker 2: It's really so beautiful.
Speaker 3: I can ask the question for me, then, why.
Speaker 2: What would I do?
Speaker 3: As you?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: I like your answer for me. So if I woke
Speaker 2: up with you Freaky Friday, what would I do?
Speaker 1: I think I'd go do. I'd test out all the things.
Speaker 1: I think you have so much talent. I think you
Speaker 1: have just so much potential I think you want to
Speaker 1: be entertaining people in the world, not singing, everything about
Speaker 1: not dancing, everything about from singing at sleeping, everything about
Speaker 1: from singing dancing. And I would literally just that's what
Speaker 1: I would do. I would just go and do everything
Speaker 1: that I think. I know you have the hidden potential for.
Speaker 1: That's fair because you're just I can't wait to see
Speaker 1: your host of TV show. I can't wait to see
Speaker 1: you write more books. I can't wait to see you.
Speaker 3: I'll let you write a book for me.
Speaker 2: I would do that as you.
Speaker 1: But I just see you like traveling across the world,
Speaker 1: studying cultures, teaching that culture, passing it on through TV,
Speaker 1: through film, through movies. You could act, you could do
Speaker 1: whatever you wanted, Like, you're so talented.
Speaker 4: On a hard day, what is the thing you will
Speaker 4: do to make EA sure to start laughing immediately.
Speaker 2: That's question dancing or something dancing? You you?
Speaker 1: I still remember that video, Do you remember I don't
Speaker 1: do the.
Speaker 3: Baking, do the bacon the bacon? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I remember it was so good.
Speaker 1: Like one day, this is before Raley ever made content
Speaker 1: and people were unaware. She randomly started doing this dance
Speaker 1: and I filmed it for fun, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you have to post this because it is just pure joy.
Speaker 1: And you posted it and I remember everyone loving it too,
Speaker 1: and it was just like, Yeah, you can literally burst
Speaker 1: out into dance or make a funny face. You can
Speaker 1: make me laugh very easily, very easily. If I was
Speaker 1: trying to make you laugh, I'd put on an outfit
Speaker 1: I love.
Speaker 2: I would try and help you cook laugh. I would
Speaker 2: What else would I do to make you laugh?
Speaker 3: I mean, you're really good at finding funny tiktoks. You
Speaker 3: are known you.
Speaker 4: Do though, you find really good quality funny tiktoks. Oh
Speaker 4: you know what you do sometimes when you're like gassing
Speaker 4: yourself up that makes me laugh.
Speaker 2: You make you laugh. I do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get it, banter.
Speaker 4: Next question, do you have any fund memories when it
Speaker 4: comes to driving, Oh, moments spent with family, friends, driving
Speaker 4: off to university.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 4: I have such fun memories in cars with my dad.
Speaker 4: I feel like when he was dropping me to university,
Speaker 4: or when even now when he's dropping me to the airport,
Speaker 4: they're really special times where I feel like it gives
Speaker 4: space to just open up and he'll just share stories
Speaker 4: about his youth that I didn't know about. We'll just
Speaker 4: talk about random things and I'll just find so much.
Speaker 3: Out about him.
Speaker 4: And he's usually quite a quiet person, and so it
Speaker 4: feels like the car journeys or when things were changing.
Speaker 4: Even when we'd go back to where his family lives
Speaker 4: in Norwich, it's like a two and a half hour
Speaker 4: three hour drive, and I always think along the way,
Speaker 4: he'll be like, this is where this happened, this is
Speaker 4: where this happened, or Yeah, there's always little moments where
Speaker 4: he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys. And I think
Speaker 4: that because you're going on a journey, your mind kind
Speaker 4: of goes back to journeys in your life.
Speaker 3: And yeah, definitely enjoy that.
Speaker 4: And then also with my grandma because i'd drive her
Speaker 4: and her friends around sometimes to like take them to
Speaker 4: different places. So imagine like four ninety year old women
Speaker 4: in the car that are just laughing and hanging out now,
Speaker 4: and so I love doing uber service for them.
Speaker 3: That's fun.
Speaker 4: And singing along, singing along with my nephew in the car,
Speaker 4: that is a good one. That's why it's fun. And
Speaker 4: we've had so many fun road trips as well, and
Speaker 4: just I love.
Speaker 1: Being out and about the videos of you and Origin
Speaker 1: singing in the car.
Speaker 3: They're so fun. I love a good karaoke moment.
Speaker 2: In Yeah, he's like singing.
Speaker 3: His heart, singing his heart.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I actually love hard time as
Speaker 1: a space for reflection.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is about cars for me.
Speaker 3: Lot you don't play music, I don't.
Speaker 1: I drive in silence a lot of the time. I
Speaker 1: will listen to my own thoughts. I'll reprogram them, I'll
Speaker 1: take a moment to I find sometimes when I'm in
Speaker 1: the car, I talk.
Speaker 2: To God the most. I don't know what it is
Speaker 2: about that, but I find it.
Speaker 1: A really easy way to talk out loud and just
Speaker 1: listen and pray and reflect.
Speaker 2: Like I do that a lot if I'm driving alone.
Speaker 1: I think my favorite memories of road trips also include
Speaker 1: all of our road trips, like our weekend trips, whenever
Speaker 1: we're like doing a playlist, when we're you know, just.
Speaker 2: Hanging out having conversations like this. I always find out
Speaker 2: when we find like.
Speaker 4: Even when we do motrips with friends and stuff, I
Speaker 4: say that we picked the games, cracking jokes.
Speaker 2: It was so fun, so fun, it was so fun.
Speaker 2: And then I think when I was young.
Speaker 1: I remember because my parents would drive from London to Europe,
Speaker 1: so we wouldn't get a plane.
Speaker 2: We'd drive.
Speaker 1: We'd get the ferry from Dover to Kela and then
Speaker 1: drive through Europe. And I always found that to be
Speaker 1: so incredible because we'd go through you'd get to see
Speaker 1: like every country in a really intimate way. Like now,
Speaker 1: when you fly it's almost like you don't get to
Speaker 1: see the roads, in the streets and everything.
Speaker 3: Where do you drive to when you miss home?
Speaker 4: When you're in La, when I really miss home, it's
Speaker 4: weird because what I really miss is this first I'm
Speaker 4: really odd, but seeing Indian people and being around Indians
Speaker 4: and seeing like Grandma's with Sary's on, and.
Speaker 3: I feel like in La you don't we see people.
Speaker 4: But I would say I see a lot less brown
Speaker 4: people than I do when I'm in London on a
Speaker 4: daisy basis. So as you know, especially during festivals or
Speaker 4: like Indian festivals, I want to go to art easier critos, soritos.
Speaker 2: And eat Indian food, by Indian.
Speaker 3: Food, buy Indian clothes. Be like in a place where
Speaker 3: there are.
Speaker 4: Just so many people that feel like my community and
Speaker 4: there's something about that that makes me feel nostalgic, because
Speaker 4: sometimes I'll go to an Indian like this, like veggie
Speaker 4: Indian restaurant that I really like here if usually my
Speaker 4: missing home is like missing my mum's food, because when
Speaker 4: I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort,
Speaker 4: it's usually food mom my Mom's specifically my mum's food
Speaker 4: that brings me that comfort.
Speaker 3: And if I can't get that, then I have.
Speaker 4: To go see some like old Indian women in Sorry,
Speaker 4: so it feels like I'm around my grandma.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's.
Speaker 4: Probably if I think about it, it's either that or
Speaker 4: I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and
Speaker 4: watch your Bodywood movie or something nice.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I drive to places I can
Speaker 1: make new memories. So if I miss home, I'm always thinking, well,
Speaker 1: what's a new, cool, fun thing I can do to
Speaker 1: create and build a new memory. I think it's very
Speaker 1: easy for me sometimes to think if I miss something
Speaker 1: that I have to recreate it, or sometimes we think
Speaker 1: if we miss something, you have to remake it. For me,
Speaker 1: I just like to think, Okay, well, what opportunity do
Speaker 1: I have or what possibility do I have to just
Speaker 1: build something fresh, So I think that's.
Speaker 2: What I do.
Speaker 4: What is the thing you were most scared of going
Speaker 4: into this past year that you ended up doing.
Speaker 1: Literally a month before my World tour, I was so
Speaker 1: close to pulling out because I was really worried about
Speaker 1: whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling
Speaker 1: to all those countries, and I was concerned about my wellbeing.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about work. I was thinking about all
Speaker 1: the things I had to put on hold. It was like,
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to see you for months. I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to see most of my team for months. I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to be able to do so much of
Speaker 1: the work that I'm used to doing every single year.
Speaker 1: We had to tape meditations in advance, we had to
Speaker 1: tape podcasts in advance. There was so much work in
Speaker 1: like a month before, I was like, Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: think I can go on tour. And the thing that
Speaker 1: kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so
Speaker 1: hard on putting the tour together, and the team had
Speaker 1: worked so hard on putting the tour together, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't let them down, Like if I
Speaker 1: cancel it, it's gonna let down all these people have
Speaker 1: worked so hard putting it all together, and I can't
Speaker 1: just pull out.
Speaker 2: And I never told them that to laughterwards.
Speaker 1: And I think they were relieved, but it was just
Speaker 1: one of those things of just like when you're doing
Speaker 1: something new. What I've learned is it's so natural to
Speaker 1: feel scared, and it's so natural to feel fear. And
Speaker 1: what I've realized is before I used to think you
Speaker 1: have to wait to get over the fear to do something,
Speaker 1: or you have to wait till you don't feel scared
Speaker 1: so you can do something. So you spend all your
Speaker 1: energy going Okay, well, how do I take care of
Speaker 1: my fear? How do I control my fear? How do
Speaker 1: I move past what I'm s scared of? And the
Speaker 1: truth is you have to be fearful and do it anyway,
Speaker 1: Like you're going to be scared anyway, So why not
Speaker 1: accept that you're scared, except that you're fearful, create a
Speaker 1: plan and then do it. Like when I went on
Speaker 1: my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg, I
Speaker 1: was exhausted, and then when I went international we started
Speaker 1: in Australia again, there were some crazy highs and lows
Speaker 1: on tour when it came to like health and wellness fitness.
Speaker 1: We were literally in a city for a max one
Speaker 1: and a half days, and so for me that was
Speaker 1: intense for me that I mean, you came with me
Speaker 1: for a week and it was exhausting.
Speaker 2: Why am I getting a massage in my.
Speaker 4: Sy I just found out that there is a massage
Speaker 4: feature in this car, and I am I just activated.
Speaker 2: It while I was answering my question. Yes, while I
Speaker 2: was opening my heart.
Speaker 3: For some relaxation.
Speaker 2: This is what rather is like. So this that rather
Speaker 2: makes me laugh.
Speaker 1: I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open, a half
Speaker 1: out conversation and then you'll do something like this.
Speaker 3: Can you feel it?
Speaker 2: Yes? I can feel it.
Speaker 3: That's really amazing. Who doesn't want a bit of a
Speaker 3: back massage when you're driving? I've never seen that in
Speaker 3: the car. All right, No, that.
Speaker 2: Is that's what you'll do.
Speaker 1: You totally distract away from my deep, meaningful point and
Speaker 1: be like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 3: You know you are.
Speaker 4: No, I'm so sorry, but tell me that feature is
Speaker 4: not worth being distractive for.
Speaker 3: What was the thinking?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, this was a year that I literally
Speaker 4: did so many things that I would normally say no
Speaker 4: to or was good I spoke on stage.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how was that explained that process for you?
Speaker 1: Because I think you put it up on Instagram and
Speaker 1: I remember everyone that week being I'm gonna it was
Speaker 1: such a big thing.
Speaker 2: For you walk us through that.
Speaker 3: It was such a big thing for me.
Speaker 2: Why was it such a big thing for you? So
Speaker 2: you invited to give.
Speaker 4: A speech for I was am I to give a
Speaker 4: speech for an organization that had like, was it three
Speaker 4: thousand people.
Speaker 2: Right in the audience, which is the audience?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I never spoken to more than like what three hundred
Speaker 2: people made I've.
Speaker 4: Mentor really spoken to people like that on stage and
Speaker 4: maybe done one panel or something back in the day.
Speaker 3: But I remember freezing and not even talking.
Speaker 4: And this was as this was a keynotehere it was
Speaker 4: a full like what thirty minute speaking to the crowd
Speaker 4: and then like fifteen minutes of Q and A. But
Speaker 4: it was I was practicing for months, like I was
Speaker 4: going over and over.
Speaker 3: Again writing it. Practicing.
Speaker 4: It made me realize how when you write something, it's
Speaker 4: so different when you're speaking like things when you write
Speaker 4: and then when you say it can feel so cheesy.
Speaker 3: It was just such a such.
Speaker 4: An weird experience because I was literally getting to the
Speaker 4: day of and I was like I have to cancel,
Speaker 4: Like no, the night before. You know what really helped
Speaker 4: practicing in front of a mirror that was really great,
Speaker 4: but it still didn't take away my fear. And I
Speaker 4: have to say it wasn't something where I did it
Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, I can't wait to do
Speaker 4: it again. It was like, Okay, I'm so glad I
Speaker 4: did it, and it's so nice to know that I
Speaker 4: can overcome a fear of being in front of so
Speaker 4: many people and worried about not sounding smart or not
Speaker 4: sounding like I know what I'm even talking about, or
Speaker 4: getting words wrong or not. You always want to feel
Speaker 4: like an expert before you do something. I always have
Speaker 4: felt like an amateur and things that I do, and
Speaker 4: so that's always stopped me from doing things where I've
Speaker 4: been too scared of being seen as someone who's not
Speaker 4: doing things really well or doesn't know it, and so
Speaker 4: then I'd hied away from it. And so it was
Speaker 4: just interesting for me to do it. And even though
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say I was an expert at it at all,
Speaker 4: I still gave it a go and was okay with.
Speaker 3: Getting things wrong.
Speaker 4: And maybe not being perfect at it, and so even
Speaker 4: more than feeling successful, I just felt liberated of like
Speaker 4: getting over that fear.
Speaker 2: What do you think it is?
Speaker 1: Because I feel like when we feel fear or we
Speaker 1: feel scared, we feel fearful and scared of so many
Speaker 1: different things. But really there's a route to where that
Speaker 1: comes from.
Speaker 4: Mine, if I'm completely honest, roots from always feeling like
Speaker 4: I've never been smart enough because of grades or people
Speaker 4: in my family being smarter than me. And by the way,
Speaker 4: I'm not like, oh, that's so sad. I'm just saying
Speaker 4: that is where my moove's from because I've always had
Speaker 4: that and so and I've told myself that for so long,
Speaker 4: and I've always tend to other people to fix things
Speaker 4: or make things better or to tell me whether what
Speaker 4: I'm doing is right or wrong. That I never believed
Speaker 4: me start standing by myself doing something was going to
Speaker 4: be as good as other people.
Speaker 3: Doing it with me.
Speaker 4: So it definitely was from that, And then I've just
Speaker 4: realized that just get over it. The worst things that
Speaker 4: happen in life, and you don't have to be an
Speaker 4: expert to do things. That's why I started trying to
Speaker 4: do things that I'm really not good at. Because sometimes
Speaker 4: I really enjoy things that I'm not good at, but
Speaker 4: I stopped myself from doing them because I just think
Speaker 4: that I shouldn't because.
Speaker 3: I'm not good at it.
Speaker 4: And I think that we're just trained to feel that
Speaker 4: way when not everything has to be about being really
Speaker 4: good at things. It can just be because you want
Speaker 4: to try, or that you want a new experience.
Speaker 2: I mean, it is about being really good at things.
Speaker 3: For people who are good at things, No, I.
Speaker 1: Think I really appreciate your resilience. I remember when what
Speaker 1: was it that you tried when we were on vacation a.
Speaker 2: Couple of years ago. I think it might be anyway.
Speaker 1: That was like watching you do that, and I remember
Speaker 1: the next day you felt like you'd had whiplash, but
Speaker 1: you just kept getting back up and trying it, even
Speaker 1: though you'd stand up for like three seconds and fall over.
Speaker 2: I remember timing it, and it was just amazing.
Speaker 1: You're so your resilience to like keep trying something even
Speaker 1: when it's so difficult.
Speaker 2: Like you do love that too.
Speaker 4: I but yeah, I really enjoyed trying all those things
Speaker 4: this year and recognizing that, you know, lots of people
Speaker 4: are like, oh, I tried this thing, and you know,
Speaker 4: I tried it once and then I.
Speaker 3: Just got that. You know.
Speaker 4: People kept asking me, They're like, once you start actually
Speaker 4: speaking in public, you're.
Speaker 3: Going to get this bug for it and you're going
Speaker 3: to want to do it.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I have not got it, and
Speaker 4: it's not something that I'm craving to do again.
Speaker 1: Different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you do, of course.
Speaker 4: I mean just and the thing is you're so good
Speaker 4: at but it's taken so many tries and doing it
Speaker 4: from a group of five people to fifty people, to
Speaker 4: one hundred people to a thousand people to you know, however,
Speaker 4: many people came to your show, like you really build
Speaker 4: that up.
Speaker 3: Why are you laughing?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because like so many endless, countless people came to
Speaker 4: your show and you did that over and over again.
Speaker 4: And I just think that it's something which you see
Speaker 4: your comfort on stage.
Speaker 3: I do not feel my comfort on stage. I feel
Speaker 3: my comfort.
Speaker 2: In other areas. Yeah, well you did amazing.
Speaker 4: What is the biggest lesson you have learned this year?
Speaker 4: The biggest lesson that I've learned this year is it's
Speaker 4: going to sound so lame because the only thing I
Speaker 4: can think of right now because I'm tired, but like
Speaker 4: how important sleep is, especially because I've stepped up in
Speaker 4: what I actually do in my day. What I've realized
Speaker 4: is how important one conserving your energy and being able
Speaker 4: to have alone time is, and also how important like
Speaker 4: relationships in terms of what you gain from human connection
Speaker 4: and how energetic that can feel, and also how draining
Speaker 4: that can feel, and knowing the difference between both and
Speaker 4: who gives you both of those things.
Speaker 3: Who are the people you spent that actually help feed
Speaker 3: your energy.
Speaker 4: I think I've had to really learn that in the
Speaker 4: time that I'm expending with people because I feel so drained.
Speaker 4: And then how important sleeper is, not in a superficial way,
Speaker 4: but in the way that it affects your mood, your
Speaker 4: energy levels, your ability to wake up and even meditate
Speaker 4: in the morning, your ability to work during the day.
Speaker 4: It just affects so much of what you want to eat,
Speaker 4: what you crave, like, it just impacts everything. And so
Speaker 4: I've really been trying to prioritize sleep lately of like
Speaker 4: at least sleeping earlier, and that's that's that that's good.
Speaker 1: I really think the biggest thing I've learned this year,
Speaker 1: which I feel like the universe keeps reminding me of this,
Speaker 1: but it's a big one is don't judge an emotion
Speaker 1: in others that you've never felt, because the universe will
Speaker 1: make you.
Speaker 3: Experience oh my gosh, yeah.
Speaker 1: So often life and we go, why are they so
Speaker 1: stressed about that? That's so like, why are they so
Speaker 1: anxious about that? There's nothing to do with that, Like
Speaker 1: why are they so mad about that? I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: mad about that? And then all of a sudden, the
Speaker 1: same thing happens to you, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you're like broken. And I've seen that happen so many
Speaker 1: times to friends. I've seen that happen so many times
Speaker 1: to myself, where you're judging someone else's pain, thinking you
Speaker 1: could deal with that pain, and then you go, when
Speaker 1: I'm actually going through that pain, I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel it anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so whenever I find myself thinking, oh, I could
Speaker 1: handle that better, or that's not a big deal, or
Speaker 1: can't believe they're struggling with that, I've started to realize,
Speaker 1: just don't have that feeling, because you have no idea
Speaker 1: how that person's navigating it, what their trigger is, what
Speaker 1: their trauma is, what their pain is, and it's so
Speaker 1: easy to be like, oh, well, I find that easy,
Speaker 1: and when you actually go through it, it's another ballgame.
Speaker 1: And so I remember, you know, Like it's kind of
Speaker 1: like when people are like, oh, you know, and not
Speaker 1: that I say this, but a lot of people will
Speaker 1: say like, oh, there's no such thing as depression, there's
Speaker 1: no such thing as anxiety, like it's just all in
Speaker 1: your head like things like that.
Speaker 2: It's not actually helpful.
Speaker 1: And I think everyone goes through something like that in life.
Speaker 2: That really breaks them down.
Speaker 1: And when I go through that, like when I feel
Speaker 1: like I've judged something and then I'm going through it myself,
Speaker 1: I go, oh, got it.
Speaker 2: This is making me more compassionate now that for other
Speaker 2: people's pain.
Speaker 1: And I hope that I can keep this feeling when
Speaker 1: I'm feeling confident that even if I haven't experienced someone's pain,
Speaker 1: I can still be compassionate towards it because I recognize
Speaker 1: that I don't understand all types of pain just because
Speaker 1: I think I do mentally. It's so interesting how we
Speaker 1: think because we understand something theoretically, it should be easy
Speaker 1: practically when we're not going through that challenge right now,
Speaker 1: we underplay it and undermine it, and then as soon
Speaker 1: as we're going for our own challenge, we overhype it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The next question is what is something you want
Speaker 3: to work on for next year?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Nice?
Speaker 4: And I think my thing is I think that it's
Speaker 4: easy when and I'm sure many people have felt this
Speaker 4: in relationships or even with friendships, where you see someone
Speaker 4: with a specific purpose and like they know what they're
Speaker 4: doing and you can and almost either jump on the
Speaker 4: bandwagon of their purpose or intention and try and mimic
Speaker 4: it without actually feeling it or doing the work.
Speaker 3: It requires to maintain it.
Speaker 4: And I've been thinking about that a lot because I
Speaker 4: think seeing you have your purpose and have seen you
Speaker 4: do that for a long time, I think I kept
Speaker 4: trying to create the same purpose for myself, or jump
Speaker 4: onto your purpose and make it my own. But the
Speaker 4: problem was I didn't have the deepooted feeling that you
Speaker 4: have with what you are doing, And so that's why
Speaker 4: my energy and my desire for it would run out
Speaker 4: so fast and I would have to keep motivating myself
Speaker 4: to do it, keep momaking myself, but there wasn't an
Speaker 4: actual motivation because the motivation was coming from you. I
Speaker 4: think for me next year, it's about actually figuring out
Speaker 4: what my deep rooted purpose and intention is behind what
Speaker 4: I'm doing and everything I'm doing to feel like it
Speaker 4: is mine versus one what other people think purposes and
Speaker 4: two trying to jump onto someone else's because it seems
Speaker 4: so amazing because you're so connected to it, but it's
Speaker 4: not mine and therefore don't have that connection.
Speaker 1: It's interesting how our mind does that, even when we
Speaker 1: know purpose is individual's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's unique. It's not adopted.
Speaker 1: Like we always talk about that famous line in the
Speaker 1: bugger Gita, which says that it's better to do your
Speaker 1: own purpose imperfectly than to try to do someone's perfectly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because the point is doing your thing is way better
Speaker 1: than trying to do someone else's. And also, the other
Speaker 1: verse that I love about purpose is when you protect
Speaker 1: your purpose, your purpose protects you.
Speaker 2: When we try to.
Speaker 1: Imitate or project someone's purpose onto ourselves, it doesn't work
Speaker 1: because we actually have to protect the diamond of our
Speaker 1: purpose that we're holding onto and we have to care
Speaker 1: for it as if it's a rare gem.
Speaker 3: What's something you want to work on for next year?
Speaker 2: It's been a few things I've been thinking about.
Speaker 1: One is that I really believe that my best work
Speaker 1: for me at this point in my career comes when
Speaker 1: I'm when I have space. And there was a time
Speaker 1: in my life where being productive and efficient was what
Speaker 1: helped me achieve. And I feel like I'm at a
Speaker 1: place in my life where I feel like the more
Speaker 1: I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a better
Speaker 1: version of myself. And so I think I've been reprioritizing
Speaker 1: from being productive to almost zooming out and gaining more perspective.
Speaker 1: And that requires a lot of restructuring of my life.
Speaker 1: I have lots of commitments, I have lots of responsibilities.
Speaker 1: There's so many things I have to think about in
Speaker 1: order to do that. But I'm realizing that I'm better
Speaker 1: with more time than less time. It's not about more socialized,
Speaker 1: like I'm not trying to create more of a social life.
Speaker 2: That's not really what will make me happy.
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to create more of space to be
Speaker 1: more curious and be even more reflective and thoughtful. And
Speaker 1: I believe I already give myself time to I find
Speaker 1: that I'm often putting myself in a lot of discomfort
Speaker 1: to operate at a high level, and I want to
Speaker 1: give myself some mental comfort and I believe that will
Speaker 1: really create some fascinating projects and vision for what I
Speaker 1: want to do in the world. I think that there's
Speaker 1: points in your career where you just have to put
Speaker 1: your head down and work really hard, and then you
Speaker 1: get to points in your career where you have to
Speaker 1: look up and take a step back. And I think
Speaker 1: I'm at a point in my career where I want
Speaker 1: to do that because I want to really think about
Speaker 1: the impact I want I have in the world. I
Speaker 1: want to really think about the work I want to do,
Speaker 1: the pathways I think are going to really shift culture
Speaker 1: in the world, and I want to give myself time
Speaker 1: and space that's not going to come from productivity, that's
Speaker 1: going to come from perspective.
Speaker 4: What is something you valued this past year in our
Speaker 4: relationship that you did not value in the past.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's such a great question.
Speaker 4: I'd say, maybe for me, is I think in the
Speaker 4: past because I wasn't You're always ready to give help,
Speaker 4: and I wasn't ready to necessarily receive it because I
Speaker 4: wasn't ready to do the work to do it, and
Speaker 4: You're always someone who wants to help, and you always
Speaker 4: have the time and space to help no matter what
Speaker 4: you have going on. And I think in the past
Speaker 4: I didn't value it because I almost wasn't ready to
Speaker 4: I didn't want to waste your time because I knew
Speaker 4: I wasn't.
Speaker 3: Ready to put in the work to actually take it on.
Speaker 4: No, but you know what I mean, Like it was
Speaker 4: more me not being in a place to do this
Speaker 4: stuff required because I'd get your advice and then I
Speaker 4: wouldn't implement, and then it didn't you know, it didn't
Speaker 4: make sense, and it made me feel bad about it.
Speaker 4: Whereas I feel like this year, because I made a
Speaker 4: decision to really try and understand what my potential was
Speaker 4: and to push myself to see and explore that, I
Speaker 4: was able to take on a lot of your really
Speaker 4: great advice and time, and I value that advice a
Speaker 4: lot more now because I'm ready to actually receive it.
Speaker 1: I think for me, there's a couple of things I
Speaker 1: think I learned to revalue every year, just how much
Speaker 1: you do love me by your choice to you know,
Speaker 1: as we've always talked about, it's been so hard for
Speaker 1: you to move away from family and move to New
Speaker 1: York and then moved to LA and then and I
Speaker 1: know you go back after when it's nice, but you
Speaker 1: still base yourself here. And I think I learned to
Speaker 1: revalue that every year as a sign of how much
Speaker 1: you love me, because I realized that that is the
Speaker 1: reason that makes you do it, like you wouldn't do
Speaker 1: it if it wasn't for that. And I think that
Speaker 1: that is something I have to revalue. I get a
Speaker 1: new found value for it every year because I realize
Speaker 1: it more and more.
Speaker 2: And I think the other thing that I value that
Speaker 2: maybe I didn't value.
Speaker 1: Before was how much Again, I think it's a revalue too,
Speaker 1: of how much you're so flexible and adaptable. Like if
Speaker 1: I said to you, I've got this amazing opportunity I
Speaker 1: need to get on a plane tomorrow, you never make
Speaker 1: me feel guilty or bad about it, and that is
Speaker 1: just I've thought about it a lot, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: that is really hard. And yes, we're both like that
Speaker 1: with each other, but I think it takes a lot
Speaker 1: to just be flexible and adaptable.
Speaker 2: Life hasn't got less busy, it's got more busy.
Speaker 1: So I think that's a newfound value again that I
Speaker 1: renew every year of like, wait a minute, you're more
Speaker 1: flexible and adaptable.
Speaker 2: I went on a world tour this year, like I
Speaker 2: was gone for you know.
Speaker 3: You're really good at that.
Speaker 4: I feel like your state of mind and I'm not
Speaker 4: just saying this, you're very ingratitude. You're a very ingratitude
Speaker 4: person on a daily basis with not just me, with literally.
Speaker 3: Every single person around you.
Speaker 4: And I think that that just pours into everything that
Speaker 4: you do. What is a change you have made this
Speaker 4: past year that impacted your daily life putting in the
Speaker 4: work it takes to complete things.
Speaker 3: Because I have the I do the work it takes
Speaker 3: to start.
Speaker 4: Things, But I didn't do the work it takes to
Speaker 4: complete things till this year, and so I see how
Speaker 4: hard that is for people. I knew found appreciation for
Speaker 4: people who actually get things done.
Speaker 3: My goodness, what are life to live?
Speaker 4: I just want to say that basically, because I've completed
Speaker 4: things this year, I do feel like I feel more
Speaker 4: confident in myself, and I think that it's impacted my
Speaker 4: daily life because I've started making little decisions by myself,
Speaker 4: and I've started trusting in my own voice, and I've
Speaker 4: started being more sure about the things that I actually
Speaker 4: think I should do in a situation versus asking a
Speaker 4: thousand people or trying to second guess myself. And so
Speaker 4: with committing to completing things in my life, it has
Speaker 4: come with a boost of confidence in my own voice,
Speaker 4: and that has impacted my daily life in so many ways,
Speaker 4: because yeah, it's.
Speaker 3: Just made me a bit more secure and who I am.
Speaker 4: Definitely not fully there, but it's like I feel like
Speaker 4: the beginning of the journey of really understanding myself a
Speaker 4: little bit more. And it's all come from consistency and
Speaker 4: trying to commit to things for myself, and I actually
Speaker 4: really have appreciated that this year.
Speaker 2: I think for me, it's having an amazing team.
Speaker 4: Your team is just literally just and the sockers not
Speaker 4: going to hear it or are hearing it.
Speaker 1: I feel like being surrounded by people you actually enjoy
Speaker 1: spending time with and as people, not just at work,
Speaker 1: and being surrounded by people that you trust and that
Speaker 1: trust you, and that being surrounded by people that you
Speaker 1: feel There was a quote that I read the other
Speaker 1: day that said a great relationship is when both people
Speaker 1: feel lucky.
Speaker 3: I so have that in your team.
Speaker 1: I feel like having that in your personal life, your
Speaker 1: professional life, in every area of your life. That's what
Speaker 1: makes life special. So that has made a big change.
Speaker 1: Like being surrounded by people who just have wonderful values
Speaker 1: and qualities.
Speaker 4: I feel like you've attructed each other because honestly, I
Speaker 4: don't know how your team is so as special as
Speaker 4: they are, Like every single person has different personalities but
Speaker 4: the same care.
Speaker 3: Attention, desire.
Speaker 4: And what's beautiful is is like you feel no competition there,
Speaker 4: which is really difficult to create in a work environment.
Speaker 4: Everybody feels so secure in their roles and how they
Speaker 4: see it as collaborative thing, Like they all feel like
Speaker 4: part of a puzzle and they all work so well
Speaker 4: together to do that.
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful.
Speaker 4: I just I appreciate seeing you so happy finally, because
Speaker 4: I think that you've worked so hard to get to
Speaker 4: this point to have people who feel the same way.
Speaker 4: It's nice being surrounded by people who feel the same
Speaker 4: desire and excitement as you do every single day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been really special.
Speaker 1: And on that note, I want to say a big
Speaker 1: thank you to all of you because I think it's
Speaker 1: been amazing just the amount of love and support that
Speaker 1: on purpose has had in the last twelve months.
Speaker 2: The incredible guest We've had it because of all.
Speaker 1: Of you that watch, that like, that share, that recommend
Speaker 1: this podcast to your friends, the amazing conversations I've been having,
Speaker 1: the solo episodes that I've been according just thank you
Speaker 1: for all your love and support, because I couldn't do
Speaker 1: any of it without you, And it's amazing to see
Speaker 1: the growth that we're having and it's unbelievable and so
Speaker 1: grateful to you. Well genuinely, thank you so much, and
Speaker 1: thank you Reddy for doing this with me, going on
Speaker 1: this little road.
Speaker 4: Always like this conversations. It brings so much out, such
Speaker 4: a good conversational list.
Speaker 2: You will if that's a word is a word. Thanks
Speaker 2: love you, Love you guys.
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with
Speaker 1: Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to
Speaker 1: find your purpose.
Speaker 2: Our children have become less imaginative about how the problem
Speaker 2: solve inparents and coaches have.
Speaker 4: Become more directive and trying to tell them how the
Speaker 4: behavior versus teaching them how to behave.
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