WEBVTT - Group Therapy 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:09.399 This is like and Gavin and I heard radio podcast. Yeah, 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:11.600 oh yeah, I like the energy. Gav. You threw a 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:15.040 curveball there to everybody. I appreciate it. My name is Brooks. Like, 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:17.319 welcome to the show. This is how men think. That 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:20.759 beautiful voice you just heard there was the music superstar 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.799 Gavin DeGraw. Goot to see you man, Good to see you, buddy, accolades. 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.480 I feel good. I try and brag you up every day, 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.400 so you keep coming back. Man, it's working. I'm coming back. 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:32.519 I'm not even leaving. You're not leaving. Even put my 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:39.479 cot in here camping with our sponsor r E I. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:41.199 I was just at r e I today. You want 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.000 me to pick you up a tent and please do. 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:46.560 Maybe some day, if we get you a check from 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.400 the show, that you might be able to get an 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:50.479 apartment here in town. I would love that you come 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.880 stay in our house for at the time. I'll stay 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:54.880 in your gym. He's just say in my gym, No, 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:56.760 I know you. That's the most active room in the house. 0:00:56.800 --> 0:01:01.200 Don't say that. Could you put the weights down? Leave 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:04.120 them down? Brother. I always like seeing your smiling face, 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.360 So thank you for coming. Dmitri. How are you, buddy, 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.000 I'm doing well. You look well? Yeah, yeah, you look 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:11.360 like oh I do well? What do you mean? Yeah? 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:13.360 I do? I mean oh, yoh, yeah, thank you. I'm 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:17.039 handing out the compliments. You compliment like nobody's business. And 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:18.600 I'll take it every day. I like it. I like 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.560 throwing it out there, like making people smile. Ryan, what's up, brother, 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:25.200 Good to be here. That's all you're that's all you're 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.280 hitting this with. I'm sharing a microphone right now, so 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:31.679 it's difficult. Oh he's Ryan's very upset here. Amy. Okay, 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:33.360 we'll get me on to that. And I gotta say this. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:38.479 Does does Rick not look tan? Rick looks exceptional to health? 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:42.320 He does. I've been in the sun for fourteen straight days. Now, Okay, 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:44.680 what's the key? Brother? It was just a vitamin? Does vitamin? 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:47.080 You just kind of sit back on your chair and 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.480 your beach chair and wear your speedo and let the 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:53.639 sun kind of touchdown on your skin. Did I say speedo? 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:55.560 I just threw up in my mouth. I'm like, god, 0:01:55.840 --> 0:02:03.200 letting the sun speed Oh yeah, you don't wear speedos? Holdo, 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:04.720 it's the best way to get the best. You want 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:08.079 me to show you my tan line. Yes, please, there 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:14.160 it is. That's hot. Great, So hold on, I just 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:19.280 threw up in Gavin's mouth, Rick, true question. Do you 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.240 wear a speedo? I wear a speedo? There you have 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.600 a guy forgot he played water polo. That's probably where 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.240 it came. But I don't know if he's just like 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:30.200 shorts now or are you still going like a pool? 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.240 You know with with the family, I may wear some 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:34.600 board shorts. Why did you want to stinger quotes on pool? 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:37.560 Is this a pool or not air quotes or when 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:39.120 it's not really what it's supposed to be. So you 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.280 said pool, I don't know what that means. We did 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.280 go to Europe and we went to a pool air 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:48.360 quotes and I sported the speed of the entire time 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:52.280 and I was proud, awesome, full euro Yeah, good for you. 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:56.799 I have respect for that man having super uncomfortable right now. 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:01.440 I believe that's jealousy of Rick. It is. Your comfort 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:06.200 level is off the chart. Well let's get to it here, gentlemen. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.160 We have a super I'm super excited for today. We 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:11.280 have an incredible guest that we want to welcome to 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:20.200 the show. Her name is Sharie Heally. So today's episode 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:23.919 is group therapy, and Sharie is a life coach. She's 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.480 gonna help us through. We've all had conversations with her. 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.440 And I'm going to introduce you to our audience right now. 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:33.360 You will describe yourself as a possibilitarian? Am I saying that? Correct? 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.640 I love that. That's the first time I've ever heard 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.800 that word. So I love that. She is a possiblitarian. Uh. 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:43.160 Been in the industry for twenty years. Her number one strategy. 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:45.640 I love this part about your bio. Number one strategy 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:49.400 is pure joy, absolutely lovely. I'm sure you're gonna yeah. 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:51.920 It's a secret to our true potential in every life 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.880 area of life. Does one on one coaching workshop speaking. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:04:03.120 I could read this for days as hold on Google. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:07.720 We'll get to that Google X, Genitech, Nike, YouTube, Apple, 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:10.119 Go Daddy, you name it. She's worked with them. Um, 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.480 welcome to the show, Charie. Thank you for your time 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.120 for being here. Uh and can you elaborate? Is there 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.479 anything I missed in that bio? Oh? I don't know. 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:22.640 Ah Man, I'm here to cause an epidemic of joy. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:26.000 I love it. That's it. She's just a ray sun China. 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:29.640 I used to apologize for that. It used to be 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:32.359 that I'd go and I'd give you know, talks and keynotes, 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:34.920 and that was like the message on slide fifty six. 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:39.440 And I'm just not about apologizing anymore. Don't realize it's 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:42.159 like the number one business strategy, it's the number one 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:45.800 strategy for relationships. It's everything, it's what we all want. 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.039 So can you give us a little background to your 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:52.039 history in this space? How did you get started? What 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.280 was your motive to start? But first off, how long 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:55.480 have you been in it? And how did you get 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.119 your start? Oh? Yeah, it's a great question. I wanted 0:04:58.160 --> 0:04:59.680 to do it when I got out of college. I 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:02.680 was just twenty three and life coaching had become a thing, 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.360 and I was like, oh man, I studied like psychology 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.480 and communications and all this signed me up. And then 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.239 I started training and I thought, who's going to listen 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:19.400 to a year old barely started living. So I gave 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.440 myself some more study time. And I remember working in 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.800 l A, actually staring out at the ocean and a 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:29.320 board meeting, and I kept hearing the word bottom line, 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:32.080 bottom line, and then it sort of dawned on me 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:34.839 that this was not my bottom line. It wasn't It 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.880 wasn't mine. My bottom line is to figure out how 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.680 to get people out of bed and do what they're 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.120 here to do. I enjoy the ride. I love it. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.240 I love that you said you help leaders get what 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.440 they want so they can change the world. But really 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.800 that can be anybody. Everybody's a leader. Uh. And to 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:53.360 discover our true potential in every area of life. So 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.080 have you had? That was a pivotal moment for you. 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.640 And then you sort of made a personal switch as well, 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.560 and also made a professional switch. Yea. Yeah. Then I 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:05.320 finally gave myself permission, like I got the permission slip 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:06.760 to go for it, because I felt like I was 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:09.080 old enough, you know, and it was time. And I 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.120 think we've all talked already. And I know you all 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.520 want something to all of our listeners want something, and 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.000 at a certain point in life that want just becomes 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:20.320 almost unbearable. You have to get it. And so I 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:23.400 made the leap and and left the whole corporate scene. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.400 And I think that helps now because I was in 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:28.520 the hairball of the corporate scene and I can I 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:30.800 can talk to my clients about it. I know what 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:35.080 they're in But yeah, I feel like I'd been given 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:37.880 so much. I learned so much from many great teachers. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.640 And there's an old saying that information that goes unshared 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:45.480 becomes a burden. Yeah, beautiful. So I felt like I 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:50.440 had to give. It was my turn, and that's actually yeah. 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.360 I mean I think it's a calling. My tagline is 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.880 bring it. The world needs you, and and on social 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.400 like I founded the Luminaries because I believe we all 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.919 are luminaries. We all have a g to give that 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.880 if not shared, is lost to the world forever. What 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:09.400 a superpower? Superpower? Can I ask you a question? What 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.640 is your favorite part about being a life coach? The 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.640 thing that just brings you the most joy. It is 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:18.680 the same thing that I said to Sister Maureen in 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:20.920 fourth grade when I was asked to make a list 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.640 of my favorite things, and everybody else said like ice 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:26.720 cream and like tahoe and stuff like that, and mine 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.600 was good talks. Wow, you came to the right place. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:31.720 I mean, I'm so happy, like this is sitting here 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.000 with you guys having good talks. It's like, what would 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:40.360 cream and tahoe stop? We're going to Amy's. So let's 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:44.239 do some group therapy. So for our audience listening today. 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:48.120 We have all had one on one conversations with Shari 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.880 on the phone prior to this conversation, and every guy 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:54.840 has something that they want to work through in their life. 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.120 We touched on on the very first episode of this podcast, 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:00.360 what's something you're desperate to change? And now we've discuss 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.880 something with each personally with Sharie that we are wanting 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:06.840 to change in our life. And full disclosure, we've each 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.560 uh said that it's okay for her to open up 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:13.000 about our private discussion so that we can all try 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:16.120 and grow and help each other move through these issues 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:19.480 that we're each individually facing. So I'll leave it up 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:23.520 to you, Shari, You and Dmitri had a conversation. Uh, 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:26.640 do you want to elaborate on what that conversation. I'll 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:29.520 give you listeners kind of the outline of what we 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.960 talked about, and then Dmitri and I are going to 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:37.880 go after it. Okay, bring it the world needs, Yes, 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:45.160 bring it, the world needs. So Dmitri's um and and 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.719 this isn't the framework of everything that we're that we 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.959 do in these sessions, right, It's there's something that you 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:52.040 want and I'm here to help you get it right 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.520 and here to help you enjoy the ride in getting it. 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:59.679 So you talked about how you have a deep awareness 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.800 that life is short and you want to enjoy it, 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:08.319 and because of that awareness, it actually robs you of 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:12.760 the enjoyment at times, because you'll be, for instance, on vacation, 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.319 your favorite place to be on a beach with music 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:23.839 and tropical cocktails, drink during the day, right, and then 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:27.880 instantly that awareness kicks in and you're thinking about it 0:09:28.000 --> 0:09:31.280 being over. It's going to end soon, and then you 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:35.040 can't be present to it anymore. And so we were 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.640 sort of we paused at that moment. I said, all right, 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.160 when I see you again, we're going to try to 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:42.240 figure out how to create that presence in you. Or 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.240 you would ask like, how do I deal with the thoughts? 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.559 Because the awareness is both the curse and the gift. 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:52.760 I agree with that. Yeah, can I can I ask 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.920 you a question like, let's say if you because we 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.880 all get your group texts we're doing something during Dame, 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:00.800 we get you with a little tail on the dock 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:02.920 or on the beach, and it frustrates the rest of 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:07.280 us are jealous of the life you live that every day. Yeah, 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:08.839 but yes. But my question to you is, if you 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.520 go on a week long vacation, how early on into 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.679 that vacation will that mindset start to dominate or to 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.240 come up. I'm good for for the first few days, basically, 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.040 if it's a week's vacation. So I was just on 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.120 a vacation recently. We got there on a Saturday, So 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:27.360 by Tuesday ish, I was thinking, okay, tomorrow's Wednesday. And 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:30.040 then it's like then, you know, then we're rolling towards 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.360 the end, and so I start thinking all right, you know, 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:35.199 and I'm and I still have fun, but in my 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:36.960 head it's like, okay, well, you know, three more days, 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.319 two more days, Tomorrow's the last night, and it's like 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.400 and then I have to kick into a mode where 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.319 I'm like, okay, well, what's the next thing that you 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:47.920 know that that's exciting, because you know, life is hectic 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.000 and it's like you come back from vacation, you gotta work, 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.840 the kids go to school or whatever, and and even 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:54.960 though you have moments in those days that are fun, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:59.160 you know everything you're being pulled in all different directions. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.000 So it's very hard to get that same feeling that 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.120 you have when you're just away somewhere. So yes, I 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:07.640 you know, around the middle, I started thinking and then 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:09.160 it's like a clock in my head and I still 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.120 have fun on those last days. But I'm well aware 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:15.439 that it's But can I just ask, uh, is it? 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:18.000 Is it sort of like these are the last days 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.719 of my vacation, or these are the last couple of 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:24.040 days of my vacation, and I'm getting older, and well, 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:25.440 I don't know how many more of these are going 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.480 to be and we're all gonna die and all this 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:30.480 kind of staff for Is it just like I just 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:32.880 have a couple of days left vacation. Can I still 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.160 enjoy the rest of the vacation. No, it's that I don't. 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.640 I don't have an impending thought of doom or anything 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:39.640 like that. I don't think like my life is shorter. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:41.480 And thanks for pointing out that I'm getting old, that 0:11:41.480 --> 0:11:44.240 I should start thinking about that. Um, I don't start thinking. 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.200 I don't think about myself being old. I don't think 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:48.120 the end of the world. I don't think of anything 0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:49.959 like that. So it's a good question. But no, it's 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.280 just it's simply just this is such a nice time, 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.360 and I even look even this podcast, I look forward 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:56.920 to this. We're having a great time, and in my head, 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.440 I'm like, oh, we probably got like an hour left. Yeah. 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:02.880 And I kind of feel the same way almost when 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.800 you go on vacation on the second or third day, 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.160 you have so much time you like, I don't really 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:10.839 when I go that happens to me. I don't know 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.120 what to do. Like every day we're so programmed, like Okay, 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:15.880 I'm gonna go work out, I'm gonna go to the office, 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:17.600 and I'm gonna go home and we're gonna make dinner 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:19.719 and go to baseball practice or whatever. Like everything is 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:21.839 so kind of scheduled and plan where it's like when 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:24.160 I do get free time, even if I'm at home 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.240 or not on vacation, I'm like, huh, what what should 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.560 I do? Like I guess I'll go clean the garage 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:33.439 or you know, And that I feel that way on 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.480 vacation as well, where I'm like what's next. Like to me, 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:40.959 it's almost the travel aspect of it is the fun part, 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:42.960 and then when you get to go where you're doing 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.920 nothing is the like the depressing part, which is this 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.719 part you should be enjoying. The only difference between you 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:56.000 and me is you do that and no speedo in 0:12:56.040 --> 0:13:02.400 his jeans. It is it to treat just vacations that 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.400 you feel this way, or is it other aspects of 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:07.599 your life that you're also counting down the days or 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.160 wondering how much more of this you have left? And 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:12.640 the reason I ask is as that was being described, 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:15.920 I could not agree more with that whole mindset. And 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.200 I'll tell you this. The best day of the year 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.160 for me is Christmas Day. I love Christmas more than anything. 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.400 The worst day of the year as Christmas because when 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:28.520 Christmas morning comes, I say, and I this happens every year, 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.320 Like I do not want to open all the presents 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:32.439 first thing in the morning because it's over now and 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:35.920 I have to wait an entire year until Christmas yet, 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.640 so I want to just do like one and then 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.040 let's have breakfast. Or if my wife's like, okay, you open, 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:42.839 like you have more left, and like no, no, no, 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.680 why don't you open because I want that pile to remain, 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:52.040 because I don't want Christmas to be over summertime like 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.280 putting off or maybe you know I have September November 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:56.920 in the last decade and I'm just I do like 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.920 I scroll them away and you budget your presence. If 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.559 are my love language, how many how many you have 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:07.760 at your house? Affect other aspects of your life. To 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.480 Christmas is as a prime example. I love the lead 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.800 up to Christmas. The you know, there's just decorations everywhere, 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.880 there's music, the Christmas you know, the whole thing. And 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.240 then yeah, but when that Christmas Day comes, like I 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.640 look forward to Christmas, and then it's like, oh, it's Christmas. 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.160 It's now, Now, it's done. Now we get three. Yeah. 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:26.920 I don't know if you guys heard what Gavin said 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:29.120 when you were laughing, because he said, that's so sweet. 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.080 And this is something that's really true that I learned 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.560 from all of you and and continue to with every 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:38.400 man I've ever worked with, is there's always a good reason, right. 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.200 What do we talk about, Brooks, The truth, the truth 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:47.840 behind the behavior. So while you're stressing, worrying, can't enjoy Christmas, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.520 you know you all want to slow down. You said 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.760 it on another call to what you desperate to change 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:54.360 is that you want to be able to slow down 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:58.360 and enjoy life. And so it's a struggle because you 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.360 all have so much to give. You want to you 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.840 want to I think ultimately, Dmitri, you want to enjoy, 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:10.040 you know, and ultimately Rick wants to find happiness and comfort. 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:14.760 And Ryan you talked about wanting to reach full potential, 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.240 chasing potential. There's so much to do and there's so 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.840 much to go, give and get. You know that it's 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.960 it seems to be in conflict with the slowing down 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.080 and enjoying. But like I said before, joy is the 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:31.080 ultimate strategy. It's what we're here for, and you're already 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:36.720 a very good practitioner of it, Dmitri. So my goal 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.920 with you would be to talk about how to cultivate 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:42.320 more presents so that you can really get it when 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.040 it's there for you, you know. Yeah, can you elaborate? 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:48.600 Is there any like, is there any because for people 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:52.160 listening that can that this resonates with? Is there any 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.480 actionable items or specific tactics or tools that you could share. 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.400 But I'm all about the you know, the practical ways. 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:04.720 So so you had said, Dmitri that there was a 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.960 worry in you that once the good time was over, 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.560 you were sort of like looking at your watch for 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:12.960 when's the next time. Like we'll take the vacation as 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.600 an example. That third day in you're already thinking about 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.800 when's my next one, you know, and is that usually 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:24.480 months away? Yeah? I mean yeah, I mean summertime. There's 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:29.120 a few more so summertimes basically the Christmas book end 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.120 on the other side, So there are there are some, 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.400 but it's yeah, it's it's usually a few months away, 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:35.960 or you know, something to that effect. Yeah. So the 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:42.400 practices is finding that beach mindset with even a non 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:46.880 alcoholic or a real alcoholic cogtail in the moment to moment, 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:49.960 you know, not thinking that it's only going to come 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:54.720 a few times a year. I mean, that's always an option. 0:16:55.600 --> 0:17:02.160 You are free, it's a out. It's about slowing down 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:06.600 in the body, in in vacation and being fully present 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.240 to vacation, which is the easiest, but the hardest is 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:13.360 when you're not on vacation and cultivating the vacation mindset 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.480 moment by moment. So like right now, you just said 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.399 that you're in the podcast, but you're thinking it's going 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:20.880 to be over soon and we're also having a great time. Yeah, 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:22.520 and not in a completely in the depressed way like 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.920 oh my god, it doesn't consume me, but in my head, 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:26.840 I'm like, oh yeah, I know this is and and 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:29.399 maybe that's a defense mechanism. Maybe I know you know 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.119 this way. I don't get super hurt if I know 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:33.720 that that things come to an end. Does it rob 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.440 you of any does it rob you of any joy 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:40.040 in the moment or is it just a thought that's present. No, 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:43.520 it's mainly just a thought this present. I'm sure you 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.840 can't have that pop into your head knowing that there's 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.280 an end to something you're enjoying without it having some 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.680 sort of effect. But um, but it doesn't rob me 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:53.960 of the joy. I still have a great time. Yeah, yeah, 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.040 you nailed the tool. Though. Both of you are talking 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:57.879 about being in your head, and your question to me 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.760 when we talked was what do I do with the thoughts? 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.479 And it's all about getting down into the body. It's 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:06.159 about like taking an elevator from the head down to 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.520 the heart or down to the body. And I mean 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:10.760 we could all practice that. We've probably all felt this, 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:13.119 like at the gym or at working out or yoga, 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.679 when you have to ground down and get into your 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:20.119 skin so you can actually be present. Where where do 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:22.280 you feel that the most? When you can really be present, 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:27.280 when you're just you're not up here in your head. Um, 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:31.720 you mean like a specific situation. Well, yeah, where I'm 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:33.520 sure there are areas in your life where time sort 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:37.240 of stops and you experience that presence. It's really sitting 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.639 or sitting around. It's funny that we're doing this now, 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:41.400 but it's sitting around with a group of people, could 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:43.919 be family, could be you know, these guys here are 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:45.960 with And when you're just sitting around and you're talking, 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.320 you're laughing, that's the time I don't think about anything. 0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:51.720 The sarcastic comments fly. Just we're just having fun and 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:53.600 there's no you're not because you're not thinking about you're 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:55.760 not worried about anything. It's just this is this is 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:58.239 a fun moment. And that's why, you know, you bring 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:00.520 up Maybe you're sitting around, you know, and you're having 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.440 a you're having a drink or whatever and laughing, and 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:05.200 really that's the sweet spot for me because it's like 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.080 and and again, it doesn't matter. It's not specific. It's 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.960 not my always, my family is not always my friends. 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.240 It's not like there's a certain group that dominates that. 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:16.640 But it's it's that just you know, and it's probably 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:20.320 if I were to try and analyze it, which not 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:23.359 my job to do, I guess, but it's it's probably 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:25.760 shrugging off the stresses of life and it's just like, oh, 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:27.760 this is the moment. We're just laughing and having a 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.280 good time. Yeah, there's a part of you that's settled 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.080 enough that you allowed yourself to just get out of 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:35.280 the head and be you know what I think it is. 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:40.679 It might be that possibly that you're sort of decompressing 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.240 and checking out from some of the everyday stresses, which 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:45.600 you've talked about openly on the podcast before. But I 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.760 also think it's like getting to know you men, you 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.280 have a massive heart, and it's apparent how much you 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.760 love your family and your kids and value that quality 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.520 time with them. You always speak like it's beautiful to 0:19:57.600 --> 0:20:00.520 watch you speak about your family, and so part of 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.120 that might just be the sadness like, oh, I want 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.359 this to last forever, and I know that it's I 0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:08.560 only have three more days of it, you know, like 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:10.960 it's just your you have so much joy doing that 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:13.240 with your family or doing it, Like we see how 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:16.680 much joy you have on this podcast that it's you 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:19.119 want to keep it. We all want to keep these things. 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:21.200 It's funny you say that. When I was little, we 0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:23.440 were getting a dog, a family dog, and they asked me, 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:25.920 my parents asked me what dog I wanted and I 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:27.880 said I wanted a puppy that wasn't going to grow 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:31.520 up that was And they're like, well that doesn't happen. 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:39.160 I was like, oh, well there goes that. That isn't 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.000 that That's the truth behind the behavior. Like, that's what 0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.639 we're trying to find out is men have behavior like 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:47.240 yours is a behavior out of love. You want these 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:50.920 times with special people to be everlasting. So it's not 0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:53.600 an issue. It's not a flaw, it's not a you know, 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.480 it's and I think as we get into the Ryan's 0:20:56.560 --> 0:20:58.600 and ricks and the rest of us our issues, it's 0:20:58.880 --> 0:21:02.640 these are great men have issues out of love. Um 0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:07.720 I agree. So giants to wrap this up, uh sharid. 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:11.200 So lastly, like, what does Dmitri do to overcome this 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.480 so he can be more present and have the most 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:17.520 joyous experience and then leave there in peace. Yeah, I'm 0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:20.520 gonna give you two things because your gift is awareness. 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:22.159 That's what we talked about. If you could give a 0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:25.359 gift of a lifetime of one thing to your family, 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:27.200 to the people you love the most. You set awareness, 0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:31.800 so let's use that. That's your highest value. So expand 0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:34.080 your awareness. I asked you to get down into your 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:37.119 body right and slow down, because the only way to 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:40.320 manufacture time, which is what you're asking for, or to 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:46.240 stretch time, is presence. So that requires actually slowing down, 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:49.080 and that starts in the body. So it's hurt, you know, 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:51.680 just putting on the brakes and allowing yourself to just 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:53.439 be here right now. And I think we can all 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:56.360 feel ourselves get to heavy in our chair, shoulders, come down, 0:21:56.880 --> 0:22:00.520 deep breath, just be in your heart exactly like Brooks said, 0:22:00.600 --> 0:22:05.080 that's who you are, and then expand your awareness three 0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:08.119 sixty Like you're already doing that, but you're in the future. 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:12.280 So try expanding the awareness in the present, like so 0:22:12.440 --> 0:22:16.200 that you can feel the air, you know, it's warm out, 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:19.800 it's summer. You can taste the drink fully like it's sensual. 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:23.960 You can listen to your kids laughter like you're so 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.680 in it. It's full on, three D, full color. Every 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:29.920 single one year sense is taking it in because a 0:22:30.000 --> 0:22:31.879 lot of time it's just the brain and that's not 0:22:32.000 --> 0:22:34.760 even a sense. It's like it's just the brain going, 0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.280 you know. So that's the hack to get out of 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:42.280 the head. But then there's one more thing, that part 0:22:42.359 --> 0:22:44.040 of you that says, oh, man, I don't want the 0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:46.640 puppy to grow up. I don't want the boat ride 0:22:46.680 --> 0:22:51.080 to end. How old is that part of you? That voice? 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:58.760 M hm um. I don't know. I mean, um, it's 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:01.199 a distinct part of your sonality. Because we're made up 0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:04.440 of all these different parts. I'm guessing that that part 0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:06.560 is a little young. Yeah, it is when I was 0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:09.200 a kid, Yeah for sure. Yeah. So what would you 0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:11.600 tell your kids if they were like, DoD oh my god, 0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:15.879 you know, it's almost over. You have to talk to 0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:18.040 that part of yourself like you would to your kids. 0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:20.600 I bet you'd tell them something amazing. You're right, man, 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:34.560 sucks kid. Can I just add one thing, So, when 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:37.680 you're on the vacation, do you kind of sit back 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:39.440 and let your kids go do their own things, or 0:23:39.520 --> 0:23:43.920 do you engage with the kids on whatever activities or 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:45.720 your wife for say, or whatever. Like I was just 0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:49.000 on a on a baseball vacation trip last week and 0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:51.480 my daughter was the only one that was staying in 0:23:51.560 --> 0:23:53.320 all the house with the other families and so there 0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:55.800 are no other little kids around. So like, what really 0:23:56.359 --> 0:24:00.280 got to me was engaging with her and doing actual 0:24:00.400 --> 0:24:02.600 things with her during that time frame, Like I mean, 0:24:03.320 --> 0:24:06.200 obviously you're you're not killing time, but you're kind of 0:24:06.520 --> 0:24:08.080 like so we went and got to be begun, We 0:24:08.119 --> 0:24:10.160 went and got fireworks, we went and made a fire, 0:24:10.240 --> 0:24:13.040 you know. And it was to me it was that self. 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:16.560 It fulfilled so much just having that. Yeah, it was 0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:19.879 one on one, but it was also just doing activities 0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:22.920 with her and not being like, oh, I'm gonna get 0:24:23.000 --> 0:24:25.399 to do the barbecue and sit on my phone and 0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:29.840 do whatever. Um, and that really helps me. Now that's true. 0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:32.000 I'm and I'm definitely in it for the same reason 0:24:32.720 --> 0:24:35.920 like not to speak in such weird things, but the 0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:37.520 same reason I want the poppy that won't grow up. 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:38.879 I want to play with it. So when I go 0:24:38.960 --> 0:24:40.639 on vacation and I'm definitely in I play with the 0:24:40.720 --> 0:24:42.040 kids and I do this. It's not I'm not one 0:24:42.080 --> 0:24:43.840 of those guys like go do your thing and I'm 0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:45.320 just gonna sit here in a lawn chair and drink 0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:48.240 a beer. When you're when you're when you're performing the 0:24:48.320 --> 0:24:50.440 activities with your kids. You know you're jumping in doing 0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:52.959 these things with the kids. Are you thinking to yourself, 0:24:54.840 --> 0:24:57.520 are you thinking, I'm having this is a great time, 0:24:57.600 --> 0:24:59.720 I'm in this, I'm having this activity. Or are you 0:24:59.760 --> 0:25:02.760 think I'm making great memories? I'm making great memories. I'm 0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:05.960 making great memories. You know, no, because I actually I don't. 0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:08.000 I don't care. So I mean, for the kids, the 0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:10.520 memories are important. I don't care so much about making 0:25:10.560 --> 0:25:13.560 memories for me because the same reason when I got married, 0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:15.320 I told my mom she wasn't allowed to bring a 0:25:15.400 --> 0:25:18.119 camera to the wedding because I was so I was like, 0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:20.480 what you're gonna do is you're gonna sit there. I 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.200 know you're gonna sit there and take pictures and and 0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:24.680 be like, oh, I can't wait to see this picture, 0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:26.320 and this is gonna great, and you're gonna miss what's 0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:28.960 happening at the wedding. So I said, we have a photographer. 0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:30.480 They're gonna take pictures. You can look at them all. 0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:32.440 I said, but you cannot bring a camera because I 0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:34.480 don't want you to miss things by taking So I'm 0:25:34.520 --> 0:25:36.800 not about you know, I'm not I'm definitely not thinking 0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:38.880 about memories about making them like, no, this is great. 0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:41.520 Everybody sees this on Instagram being the kids on the beach. 0:25:42.200 --> 0:25:45.200 So your mom stood by the corner and brought a 0:25:45.240 --> 0:25:49.800 paintbrushing and easel and paint, did the whole wedding just 0:25:49.920 --> 0:26:00.639 as Okay, it looks terrible, by the way. Sorry to 0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:03.800 wrap up with you, Dmitri Is. I want you to 0:26:03.920 --> 0:26:06.600 raise the bar on your own awareness. Dive in even deeper, 0:26:06.840 --> 0:26:09.600 more fully, feel even more joy when you're in it, 0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:12.440 because it'll make it last longer. And I'm going to 0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:14.600 remind you of your mantra, the thing that's going on 0:26:14.720 --> 0:26:16.800 in your brain all the time anyway, when you ask yourself, 0:26:16.880 --> 0:26:20.240 what's my end game and what is your end game? 0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:24.520 My end game is you would just enjoy life exactly, 0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:28.680 So dive in more fully. And that little voice in you, 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:30.640 the little boy that shows up and says, but it's 0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:34.200 going to end soon, just tell them, tell him to 0:26:34.240 --> 0:26:40.760 go have a cocktail memories from life. I appreciate that. 0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:42.440 I think that that does make a lot of sense, 0:26:42.520 --> 0:26:47.720 and that is something that I probably haven't processed obviously haven't, 0:26:47.800 --> 0:26:50.880 but it seems like a relatively simple jumping off point, 0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:52.560 and I could see how that would work, and I'll 0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:57.920 definitely definitely try that more Brown. Thank you for sharing. 0:26:57.960 --> 0:26:59.639 We appreciate it. We're gonna go to break. When we 0:26:59.680 --> 0:27:03.080 get back, we are going to go to Ryan. Back 0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:05.280 from break. This is Brooks like and how men thinking. 0:27:05.359 --> 0:27:08.840 We have Sharie Healy with us. We're doing group therapy today. 0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:12.080 Thank you Dmitri for being the sacrificial lamb to go 0:27:12.240 --> 0:27:16.720 first and heiled it. And now we're onto my dear 0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:18.479 friend Ryan. You were in the hot seat, my man, 0:27:18.600 --> 0:27:22.080 So Shari take it away Ryan's face. I wish you 0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:30.159 could see. Let's just get this over. When is this 0:27:30.240 --> 0:27:33.200 going to end? Okay, maybe it's time Brooks that we 0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:35.520 tell them how I see men so that Ryan can 0:27:35.600 --> 0:27:39.480 relax a little bit. Yeah, on our conversation, you just 0:27:39.960 --> 0:27:43.320 spoke beautifully about man and it was you got into 0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:46.600 this work. I believe to help serve women and really 0:27:46.720 --> 0:27:49.840 learned a lesson yourself about men. Correct. Yeah, I mean 0:27:49.840 --> 0:27:52.440 I originally started this because I felt like I could 0:27:52.560 --> 0:27:54.639 change the world, since I believe that we all have 0:27:54.760 --> 0:27:56.399 a gift to give that my gift would be that 0:27:56.480 --> 0:27:59.080 if I could make every woman happy, then I would 0:27:59.119 --> 0:28:02.280 make all the men into ldren happy. By default. So 0:28:02.440 --> 0:28:06.440 I started there. But then I, in working with women, 0:28:06.840 --> 0:28:09.000 needed to really and for myself to get to a 0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:11.240 place where I felt like I could more understand men. 0:28:11.480 --> 0:28:14.880 I had had a really long history of bad relationships 0:28:14.960 --> 0:28:17.960 and and I thought, there's no way guys are bad. 0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:21.520 It's there's something more for me to learn here. So 0:28:22.240 --> 0:28:24.480 I think through a lot of study of you, guys, 0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:30.520 I learned that men are spectacular and that you really 0:28:30.680 --> 0:28:34.280 truly are here for the highest reasons. I think I've 0:28:34.320 --> 0:28:36.560 never met a man who cares about his partner who 0:28:36.640 --> 0:28:41.240 doesn't want her to be happy. You have tons to give, 0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:45.440 and I think it's almost overwhelming when you can't find 0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:48.840 a way to give what you want to give, and 0:28:50.320 --> 0:28:53.240 you try so damn hard and you're just trying to 0:28:53.320 --> 0:28:55.320 do it right. And I don't know that we as 0:28:55.360 --> 0:28:57.280 women always make it very easy. We have a lot 0:28:57.320 --> 0:29:01.080 of feedback for you so well. I appreciate it, very 0:29:01.160 --> 0:29:03.800 kind words. And for the listeners. I want everyone to 0:29:03.920 --> 0:29:07.200 realize that when Saris said that men are spectacular, she 0:29:07.320 --> 0:29:16.800 was looking directly in my eyes. I was so with 0:29:16.960 --> 0:29:20.760 that said, I know that, um, what you're cooking right now? 0:29:20.880 --> 0:29:23.320 We have an ammy in the in the room who 0:29:23.360 --> 0:29:26.840 has very strong feelings about your challenge. So I'm going 0:29:26.880 --> 0:29:28.680 to lay it down and then probably Emmy will want 0:29:28.680 --> 0:29:39.640 to jump right in. Um, you have a habit behind me. 0:29:41.960 --> 0:29:46.760 You have a habit of worrying, correct I do. I 0:29:47.000 --> 0:29:52.280 I stress about certain things. Yes, for the very good reason, 0:29:52.360 --> 0:29:54.600 because I believe there's always a good reason for our behavior. 0:29:54.800 --> 0:29:58.080 That you are chasing potential. You want to reach your 0:29:58.160 --> 0:30:00.840 highest potential. You think that it would tragic for anyone 0:30:00.920 --> 0:30:03.560 to not really reach the limits of their human potential. 0:30:04.080 --> 0:30:05.880 And you and I talked about how there is no 0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:09.920 zenith of perfection. There's no moment at which you arrive 0:30:10.480 --> 0:30:14.600 really until you declare you're enough, until you declare that 0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:17.120 moment right, because there's always more. We talked about great 0:30:17.160 --> 0:30:19.280 beings who look like they've checked all the boxes, who 0:30:19.480 --> 0:30:21.840 would tell us, no way, there's still so much more. 0:30:23.000 --> 0:30:25.160 So when we talked about the worry and I asked 0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:27.320 you what it costs you or if you enjoy it, 0:30:28.120 --> 0:30:29.600 you said, well, I don't know that I would give 0:30:29.640 --> 0:30:31.960 it up because it's a means to an end. I 0:30:32.040 --> 0:30:33.960 think it's who I am, and it's what's going to 0:30:34.040 --> 0:30:37.400 help me reach my potential. Yeah, I believe in many 0:30:37.440 --> 0:30:42.000 ways stress is a necessary evil on the path to success. 0:30:42.600 --> 0:30:44.480 That's the most concise way I can put it that 0:30:44.560 --> 0:30:48.800 if you're not stressed, you are therefore complacent, and there 0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:51.720 is nothing worse than complacency, because if you're complacent, you'll 0:30:51.760 --> 0:30:58.520 never achieve What is achieving it is to find it's 0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:02.600 it's an individual thing. Your definition of achievement could be 0:31:02.640 --> 0:31:05.360 different than mine, and that's fine. It could be financial, 0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:09.320 it could be personal goals, whatever it may be. I 0:31:09.440 --> 0:31:13.080 think a little stress, and I understand it. It's all 0:31:13.160 --> 0:31:15.880 relative and there's a happy medium there because stress can 0:31:15.880 --> 0:31:20.360 also be crippling and and the abilitating. But like I 0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:24.720 think a certain level of stress, if it is driving 0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:28.400 you and and allowing you to push yourself to an 0:31:28.520 --> 0:31:32.520 uncomfortable level and then achieve things that you otherwise wouldn't, 0:31:32.520 --> 0:31:34.560 then it's a good thing. And I would argue stress 0:31:34.600 --> 0:31:38.320 in that case is is allowing you to realize potential 0:31:38.400 --> 0:31:40.160 you otherwise would not be able to realize. Is it 0:31:40.240 --> 0:31:43.240 stress or is it motivation? Like where we talking about? 0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:46.320 Like is this stress or are you just an uber 0:31:46.440 --> 0:31:49.440 motivated guy? Like the verbiage I think for our listeners 0:31:49.560 --> 0:31:53.360 is very important. Question is one of the more astute 0:31:53.440 --> 0:32:03.680 questions for you just blew your mind peanuts. Is it 0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:06.200 stress or is it motivation? Because I think motivation is 0:32:06.240 --> 0:32:09.320 a powerful thing man, But stressed to me seems like 0:32:09.480 --> 0:32:13.880 a Brooks is nailing this because it is motivation that 0:32:13.960 --> 0:32:16.320 I would love for you all to have. But Ryan 0:32:16.520 --> 0:32:20.000 turns it to stress and worry, and then he thinks 0:32:20.080 --> 0:32:24.160 it's productive, and I think it's counterproductive. I see, I 0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:28.760 see the two their synonyms. Like, well to what I said, 0:32:28.880 --> 0:32:30.720 what so what is your end game? Your endgame is 0:32:30.760 --> 0:32:33.560 to constantly be stressed in trying to hit this ultimate thing? 0:32:33.800 --> 0:32:35.840 What's the ultimate thing? Are you just gonna keep chasing 0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:39.520 be stressed and keep chasing greater stuff until it's a 0:32:39.560 --> 0:32:41.880 it's a fair question. I think you want to look 0:32:41.920 --> 0:32:44.680 back on your life when when you're on your deathbed 0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:49.840 and say I accomplished everything I could have could have 0:32:49.840 --> 0:32:53.040 accomplished with my God given abilities. With you know, I 0:32:53.280 --> 0:32:58.120 I was able to accomplish the most that I possibly could. 0:32:58.360 --> 0:33:00.960 So you're you're in a legacy search, is what you're 0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:04.120 talking about. I don't want to look back and say 0:33:04.440 --> 0:33:08.560 I could have done more or I did not realize 0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:13.320 my potential where I underachieved. Here's the distinction though in 0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:19.800 the motivation. There's joy in the worry no joy. And 0:33:19.960 --> 0:33:22.040 I know on a previous podcast you said you wanted 0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:24.040 to slow down and enjoy. You know, I think that 0:33:24.120 --> 0:33:26.880 we talked about that being something that you wanted full potential, 0:33:27.080 --> 0:33:33.120 but because it brings joy. Right. So the hack on 0:33:33.240 --> 0:33:36.680 this one is they always say you can't go after 0:33:36.920 --> 0:33:40.000 something like I want to be a millionaire. You know, 0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:43.160 I want to because why because it'll give me freedom? 0:33:43.400 --> 0:33:45.360 You know. Well, then you need to know freedom now. 0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:48.200 You need to be able to experience the joy of 0:33:48.280 --> 0:33:52.400 it now. So right at the end of your life, 0:33:52.600 --> 0:33:55.920 are you gonna say, oh, I accomplished all my goals 0:33:56.560 --> 0:33:58.760 or are you gonna say I had a really good time? 0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:00.960 Well when you when you do Wold in that voice, 0:34:01.200 --> 0:34:04.280 I don't know that I'm gonna say it, he said, 0:34:04.400 --> 0:34:08.320 I wish I had a different voice. Well, where Amy 0:34:08.400 --> 0:34:10.760 needs to go is she needs to value your value. 0:34:10.880 --> 0:34:14.880 This is your highest your highest pursuit is his achievement. 0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:20.000 Amy doesn't share that in the same way. Question when 0:34:20.080 --> 0:34:22.400 you die, you're going to be dead anyway, Just to 0:34:22.560 --> 0:34:25.320 remind you you don't know what you accomplished, probably, but 0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:31.080 are you do you want up that path for your 0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:34.360 own satisfaction or for somebody else that you're leaving behind 0:34:34.480 --> 0:34:37.759 to be like, Wow, my dad was the such and 0:34:37.840 --> 0:34:41.200 such accomplish her. Yeah, I mean with with the success, 0:34:44.000 --> 0:34:46.560 with the success I will have, I have will have 0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:52.080 built a life that my family reap the benefits of. 0:34:52.320 --> 0:34:55.040 With my hard work and with the stresses that I endured, 0:34:55.600 --> 0:34:58.200 we all would have had a better life as a 0:34:58.239 --> 0:35:00.920 result of it. That is the hope there. We just 0:35:01.000 --> 0:35:03.680 got to the truth behind the behavior because you want 0:35:03.719 --> 0:35:07.000 to give so much to your family. We talked about 0:35:07.080 --> 0:35:11.319 you wanting to give your wife the ultimate life. Yes, 0:35:11.520 --> 0:35:14.560 that's absolutely right. And I think there's a competitive element 0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:16.880 to me, and it's it's just in my DNA that 0:35:17.080 --> 0:35:19.839 I it's a zero sum game like I, if someone 0:35:19.880 --> 0:35:23.600 else is winning, I'm losing. I need to I need 0:35:23.719 --> 0:35:28.040 to be as good as I possibly possibly can be. 0:35:28.160 --> 0:35:32.359 I and I again, I don't understand why that can 0:35:32.440 --> 0:35:34.320 be perceived as such a negative thing. To want to 0:35:34.440 --> 0:35:39.080 realize potential and to not underachieve. What are you sacrificing? 0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:42.920 Is there anything that's negative that's affecting you in that pursuit. 0:35:44.440 --> 0:35:47.719 It's it's a good question, Kevin, I would say that. 0:35:47.920 --> 0:35:52.239 When you will answer, I would say, I think about 0:35:52.360 --> 0:35:55.560 because it's it's there are sacrifices that are made, but 0:35:55.680 --> 0:35:57.960 there are sacrifices that you're making in the short term 0:35:58.040 --> 0:36:02.960 so as to provide more benefits and a better life 0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:05.799 in the long term. So you have to make these 0:36:05.880 --> 0:36:10.000 sacrifices along the way so as to create some opportunities. 0:36:10.480 --> 0:36:12.600 Are you trying to convince me or convince you when 0:36:12.600 --> 0:36:15.480 you tell me that? I believe that, and no, like 0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:20.000 Amy clearly doesn't believe that. That's fine because I know 0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:22.640 you very well. So my thing is, I see how 0:36:22.760 --> 0:36:26.640 you compare yourself to others, and if you don't achieve 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:29.600 what they have, you deem yourself a failure. And I 0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:33.239 just disagree with that so much. Would you tell the 0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:35.440 specific story, I'll tell you a couple of stories. The 0:36:35.480 --> 0:36:39.040 first so the too. So we're just saying happy birthday 0:36:39.160 --> 0:36:42.319 to Brooks. Brooks just turned thirty six. I am thirty six. 0:36:42.719 --> 0:36:45.400 So in that moment, rather than celebrating Brooks is now 0:36:45.520 --> 0:36:48.359 thirty six year on Earth, I thought to myself, Wow, Okay, 0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:53.520 we're the same age. Brooks has made probably like thirty 0:36:53.560 --> 0:36:57.120 million over his NHL contracts. We're the same and what 0:36:57.239 --> 0:37:00.480 have I made? Like he were the same age? And 0:37:00.600 --> 0:37:04.399 this guy who I love has made exponentially more money 0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:06.880 than me and is so much more successful than me 0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:09.520 from a monetary standpoint. God, man, that's longer than the 0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:15.080 actual song Happy Birthday. Yeah it happened. That annoys me, 0:37:15.200 --> 0:37:18.800 So I'm like, but do you think that attitude is 0:37:19.320 --> 0:37:21.160 you said you want to give your your wife the 0:37:21.239 --> 0:37:23.440 best life that she can possibly have. Is having that 0:37:23.560 --> 0:37:26.640 attitude and that kind of negative competitiveness and that's stress 0:37:26.719 --> 0:37:29.080 to be better? Is that giving her the better life now? 0:37:29.400 --> 0:37:31.160 Or you're just waiting for the end and be like, Hey, 0:37:31.360 --> 0:37:34.440 wasn't that a great life? That the thing would be? 0:37:34.520 --> 0:37:36.440 If you would ask my wife, she would say she 0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:38.520 doesn't care about money, al right, And I'm bringing this 0:37:38.640 --> 0:37:45.240 on myself and I admit that, but like, yeah, I do. Again, 0:37:45.680 --> 0:37:48.240 it's not all about money. But but the Brooks example 0:37:48.360 --> 0:37:50.480 is one that crossed my mind when he turned the 0:37:50.560 --> 0:37:53.360 same age as me. And then I spent twenty minutes 0:37:53.360 --> 0:38:00.040 on Google looking up all your salaries on Wikipedia, and 0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:02.040 then when and then when you got injured, I wondered, like, 0:38:02.160 --> 0:38:04.320 is it a guaranteed contract that in the NHL or 0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:08.920 did he get paid out on guaranteed? So that's depressing. 0:38:09.640 --> 0:38:11.480 I was hoping at least if you got injured, you 0:38:11.480 --> 0:38:17.080 didn't get the full turn. If you want, we gotta 0:38:17.120 --> 0:38:21.040 give this, sure you can you do. I I stand 0:38:21.080 --> 0:38:23.840 strong on women do not do this. We do not 0:38:24.000 --> 0:38:28.000 compare ourselves to other women and deem our value or 0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:32.799 our success based on money. We I I stand strong 0:38:32.880 --> 0:38:35.919 on that somebody, another girlfriend of mine that has made 0:38:35.960 --> 0:38:38.840 more money is in no way more successful than me, 0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:41.080 or do I even think about it, because that's not 0:38:41.200 --> 0:38:43.800 how we look at it. And Brooks is not the 0:38:43.920 --> 0:38:46.920 richest thirty six year old. So when you get to 0:38:47.040 --> 0:38:49.439 that final thing, right before you're about to die, you're 0:38:49.440 --> 0:38:51.080 going to look back and you're gonna say, are you 0:38:51.320 --> 0:38:53.000 Are you gonna say, hey, that was a great life 0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:54.520 I achieved all I can. Are you gonna say you 0:38:54.560 --> 0:38:56.000 know what I could have done better? Because that's the 0:38:56.040 --> 0:38:58.120 attitude you're taking through your entire life or on your death. 0:38:58.160 --> 0:39:07.040 Better You're gonna go work is going to be strangling 0:39:07.120 --> 0:39:12.400 me on my definitely thing yeah, tell me. Does do 0:39:12.560 --> 0:39:14.960 your wife and kids ever say anything about your worry 0:39:16.200 --> 0:39:20.000 about me? Yeah? My wife said, says often that I 0:39:20.120 --> 0:39:23.200 am stressed, and how can she? She has asked me 0:39:23.560 --> 0:39:28.400 in the last year two take on less professionally so 0:39:28.640 --> 0:39:32.440 as to free up some brain space and bandwidth, to 0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:37.440 just be more relaxed because it consumes me and so 0:39:37.760 --> 0:39:41.160 but I refused to do that, and I doubled down 0:39:41.239 --> 0:39:44.279 and say, like, I can handle it because I want 0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:48.040 to just continue to go a hundred miles an hour. 0:39:48.520 --> 0:39:51.600 And is your potential only a dollar number? Is there 0:39:51.600 --> 0:39:55.160 another definition of potential? Look it makes when you, guys, 0:39:55.640 --> 0:39:59.520 when we have this conversation, I am like in real 0:39:59.640 --> 0:40:03.400 time thinking about how I'm being perceived in this conversation. 0:40:03.480 --> 0:40:07.760 And yeah, it does seem as if I'm chasing the dollar, 0:40:07.960 --> 0:40:11.000 and in some ways I am, and I think I 0:40:11.040 --> 0:40:15.160 don't think I'm alone in that pursuit. Um. But yes. 0:40:15.920 --> 0:40:20.600 The other example is my wife's father, My father in law, 0:40:21.520 --> 0:40:27.160 was very very successful professionally, retired very very young. It 0:40:27.320 --> 0:40:31.640 made a great living, and he he's an outlier. There 0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.880 are very very few people that were would ever be 0:40:34.960 --> 0:40:36.399 able to have the success he had in the short 0:40:36.400 --> 0:40:39.160 amount of time, and I think to myself, that is 0:40:39.200 --> 0:40:41.399 the bar that has been set. That my wife grew 0:40:41.520 --> 0:40:45.799 up in a great family with a a father who 0:40:46.360 --> 0:40:49.719 provided to an unbelievable level for the family, and they 0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:51.960 were able to go on unbelievable trips and do things 0:40:52.040 --> 0:40:54.400 that like very few families got to do. So in 0:40:54.520 --> 0:40:56.759 my head, I say to myself, if I do not 0:40:56.920 --> 0:40:59.759 provide at least the same childhood and lifestyle that my 0:41:00.000 --> 0:41:03.320 I grew up with for her and my son, I 0:41:03.440 --> 0:41:05.920 will have failed and that will be that will be 0:41:06.080 --> 0:41:08.600 gut wrenching for me to feel as if I was 0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:11.000 unable to provide the same quality of life that she 0:41:11.120 --> 0:41:14.160 grew up with. Yeah, so there's the good reason there's 0:41:14.680 --> 0:41:17.160 you are not being judged, certainly not by me or 0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:20.680 probably a million listeners, because she is a little bit 0:41:20.880 --> 0:41:23.279 because she wants you to be happy. There's a good 0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:24.880 reason there too. I want to set up a go 0:41:25.000 --> 0:41:28.200 fund before you. But yeah, but here's how we hack it. 0:41:28.400 --> 0:41:29.960 So I want to give you, guys, each like a 0:41:30.120 --> 0:41:36.759 tool to walk away with the the experiencing of potential 0:41:36.920 --> 0:41:39.840 reached every day is what I want for you. That 0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:41.920 that's going to be the hack that gets you to 0:41:42.080 --> 0:41:43.759 enjoy the ride, because I don't want to take away 0:41:43.800 --> 0:41:46.319 the dollar number. You should get it. Oh you had 0:41:46.360 --> 0:41:51.279 to bleep me, sorry, you should. You should absolutely go 0:41:51.360 --> 0:41:54.680 get it. But I think the quality of the getting 0:41:54.719 --> 0:41:56.759 it is what we all want for you, and I 0:41:56.800 --> 0:41:58.600 know you do too, and your wife does and your 0:41:58.680 --> 0:42:03.720 kids do. So the quality of enjoying the ride happens 0:42:03.840 --> 0:42:06.799 by every night when you hit the pillow you check 0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:11.040 off I reached my potential for today. That you have 0:42:11.320 --> 0:42:14.920 some measure of the reaching of potential every single day, 0:42:14.920 --> 0:42:17.399 because like you and I talked there, every day you're alive, 0:42:17.480 --> 0:42:19.520 there's going to be a higher bar for the next day. 0:42:20.280 --> 0:42:24.120 So give yourself the credit for every single day at 0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:27.520 least one one way in which you reach your potential. 0:42:27.880 --> 0:42:32.600 I'm sure there's countless. Yeah. Can I step in here 0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:40.320 for something? No, okay, keep counting your money. The easiest 0:42:40.360 --> 0:42:41.640 way for me to be happy is if you just 0:42:41.760 --> 0:42:47.640 open up your wallet and chot Right now, let me 0:42:47.760 --> 0:42:51.280 let me say something from my own personal spirits because myself, 0:42:51.480 --> 0:42:53.719 I think you guys in here, Demetri, you've opened up 0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:57.839 about wanting to make more money. Um we I think 0:42:57.960 --> 0:43:00.399 everybody listening to this. I think everybody wants to make 0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:02.400 more money. The more money you have, the more you 0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:05.279 can give and do with an effect and possibly influencing 0:43:05.600 --> 0:43:07.520 people's lives. So, yeah, we want to make more money. 0:43:07.920 --> 0:43:11.160 But being something I've been through personally Ryan is being 0:43:11.239 --> 0:43:14.640 in a locker room. It's also you have to keep 0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:17.759 in mind what's current. So I could sign a contract 0:43:17.880 --> 0:43:20.200 some of the ones you looked at at and I 0:43:20.280 --> 0:43:23.040 could be one of the top paid guys on the team, 0:43:23.080 --> 0:43:26.040 and I feel amazing right, Like it's in order, I'm 0:43:26.040 --> 0:43:28.840 one of the top dogs on the team getting compensated amazingly. 0:43:29.239 --> 0:43:31.640 To three years go by, I'm still on that contract 0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:34.959 and somebody else signs a contract that's bigger than mine, 0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:37.640 and even though I might play more minutes or have 0:43:37.760 --> 0:43:41.200 more points or a bigger role, their compensation is higher 0:43:41.320 --> 0:43:44.200 than mine. Now I had to learn how to deal 0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.040 with that because I'm like, you're paying this guy that 0:43:47.120 --> 0:43:49.680 I want mine torn up. I want to renegotiate. I want, 0:43:50.440 --> 0:43:52.279 but at the end of the day, that's gonna rob 0:43:52.440 --> 0:43:55.800 me of joy. And also why should I not be 0:43:55.960 --> 0:43:58.759 so damn happy for that guy that he worked his 0:43:59.480 --> 0:44:03.000 tail to earn that, you know, like because you're better 0:44:03.120 --> 0:44:07.200 than him. But but I understand what you're saying. But yeah, 0:44:07.239 --> 0:44:10.600 I understand what you're saying as well, because you're saying, 0:44:10.640 --> 0:44:12.520 I play more minutes and I'm better than this guy, 0:44:12.640 --> 0:44:14.919 yet he's getting paid more than me. That's not fair. 0:44:15.440 --> 0:44:18.360 But also the landscape has changed since I signed a contract. 0:44:18.480 --> 0:44:21.120 That so that that has changed, um and you knowingly 0:44:21.320 --> 0:44:24.000 enter when you enter a long term contract, you know that. 0:44:24.520 --> 0:44:27.560 But also I think it robs you. Like if you 0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:30.360 have gratitude, if you appreciate that person and the joys 0:44:30.360 --> 0:44:32.279 in their life, I think you can appreciate it more 0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:36.320 in your life. Versus comparing and always trying to divide 0:44:36.360 --> 0:44:38.680 yourself will put yourself on an island. But my question 0:44:38.760 --> 0:44:41.120 for you is I I didn't achieve all the things 0:44:41.160 --> 0:44:44.120 I wanted to in my National Hockey League career. Far 0:44:44.280 --> 0:44:46.400 from it, like a fraction of all the things I 0:44:46.400 --> 0:44:49.080 wanted to achieve, didn't even make close to the amount 0:44:49.120 --> 0:44:51.279 of money I wanted to make, did not win a 0:44:51.320 --> 0:44:55.120 Stanley Cup, thousands of things I didn't achieve. But I 0:44:55.200 --> 0:44:57.800 look back at my career and say, damn, did I 0:44:57.920 --> 0:45:00.840 play my ass off? And was I out of every 0:45:01.040 --> 0:45:04.520 single day? And so I don't have the achievements that 0:45:04.600 --> 0:45:07.279 I want or everything that I wanted. But at the 0:45:07.360 --> 0:45:08.839 end of my life, I want to look back and said, 0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:11.440 I had so much damn fun every day and I 0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:14.040 gave everything I had to it and the rest is 0:45:14.040 --> 0:45:15.960 out of my control. Can I tell you how good 0:45:16.040 --> 0:45:18.120 it made me feel when you were listing all the 0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:26.600 things you didn't achieve that I told you. He's irritating. 0:45:26.719 --> 0:45:30.040 So Gavin, I have a question for Gavin. Does a 0:45:30.200 --> 0:45:34.480 hit song mean more to you than another song just 0:45:34.640 --> 0:45:37.879 because that one became a hit and made you money 0:45:38.120 --> 0:45:42.040 when a deep track might be a better song or 0:45:42.200 --> 0:45:46.960 mean more to you, like what brings the fulfillment the well, 0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:50.080 there's different, good question. I mean, there's different levels of 0:45:50.120 --> 0:45:55.080 fulfillment for me. UM with different you know, with different 0:45:55.320 --> 0:45:58.239 types of songs. There's there's gonna be material there that 0:45:58.600 --> 0:46:01.759 that doesn't make you any money, you know, UM, at 0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:06.000 least not directly. A lot of what we call B sides. UM, 0:46:06.120 --> 0:46:08.520 there's records that are almost like entire B sides that 0:46:08.600 --> 0:46:11.440 I've made, you know, or we just remember. After I 0:46:11.520 --> 0:46:14.360 cut my second record, UM, I was disappointed in the 0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:19.600 production that was overproduced for my taste, you know. And UM, 0:46:20.360 --> 0:46:22.000 I didn't dislike the record. I just felt like it 0:46:22.080 --> 0:46:26.040 was heavy handed production wise, and um, the and the 0:46:26.120 --> 0:46:28.759 mix was over just things that were just designed to 0:46:28.840 --> 0:46:31.320 make it sound a little bit too much in what 0:46:31.520 --> 0:46:34.279 the marketplace was out at the time, you know, which 0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:39.600 is very anti my my uh my mode as far 0:46:39.640 --> 0:46:42.840 as being an artist is concerned. So within a few months, 0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:48.800 I cut another record, UM with completely different songs, just 0:46:48.920 --> 0:46:51.120 because I wanted to make a record that was the 0:46:51.280 --> 0:46:54.920 opposite of what was a commercial sounding record. UM. So 0:46:56.120 --> 0:46:59.399 by doing that, I still had I still had hits 0:46:59.440 --> 0:47:03.560 on the record that I had made UM that second record, 0:47:03.680 --> 0:47:07.879 but I got more more pleasure and more fulfillment from 0:47:07.880 --> 0:47:11.719 the record that hardly sold anything that nobody marketed. And 0:47:12.800 --> 0:47:17.120 on top of that, ironically, I got more longevity career 0:47:17.239 --> 0:47:21.640 wise by making a record that was artistically admirable and 0:47:21.760 --> 0:47:26.719 critically more impressive. UM And in my opinion, it prolonged 0:47:26.800 --> 0:47:31.840 my career far longer than chasing uh uh pop success 0:47:31.880 --> 0:47:34.759 could have. I mean, don't get me wrong, playing those 0:47:35.200 --> 0:47:37.920 playing the hits at a show typically that's why why 0:47:38.080 --> 0:47:41.920 fans come to hear the hits, you know. UM, But 0:47:42.120 --> 0:47:44.919 I but I don't think that. I don't think that's 0:47:44.960 --> 0:47:48.759 my fan base. My fan base wants to hear good songwriting. Um. 0:47:49.040 --> 0:47:53.919 And so by making a record that wasn't necessarily quote 0:47:54.000 --> 0:47:58.279 unquote hit oriented record that just really sounded authentic, that 0:47:58.520 --> 0:48:01.160 gave me the time to another record that could just 0:48:01.239 --> 0:48:10.120 satiated me and the quote unquote marketplace um musically. Um So, ultimately, 0:48:10.200 --> 0:48:13.560 long term, the record that I made that I didn't 0:48:13.600 --> 0:48:17.000 have any so called hits on it really did very 0:48:17.040 --> 0:48:19.080 well for me and prolonged my career and actually made 0:48:19.120 --> 0:48:22.200 me a lot of money over time, not in record sales, 0:48:22.280 --> 0:48:26.400 but but but by elongating my my my life as 0:48:26.480 --> 0:48:30.640 a as an artist. UM So, I do understand, but 0:48:31.160 --> 0:48:34.080 so many versions of this, this argument and that you 0:48:34.160 --> 0:48:36.080 want to be the best, and you want to maximize 0:48:36.080 --> 0:48:38.360 your earning potential, you want to put in all the 0:48:38.480 --> 0:48:41.960 time required. Personally, for me, I rarely ever thought to myself, 0:48:42.040 --> 0:48:45.080 I need to practice. As an athlete, probably you feel 0:48:45.120 --> 0:48:46.919 more of that because you get to a certain level 0:48:47.040 --> 0:48:49.719 and you either have to be the best or you're 0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:51.759 not the best and you're not going to play. Or 0:48:52.480 --> 0:48:55.239 of course there's then they apply the business element to that, 0:48:55.320 --> 0:48:57.040 which is you may be better than someone else, but 0:48:57.120 --> 0:49:00.359 you're costing more money. They need to spread out the roster, right. 0:49:00.560 --> 0:49:04.480 And the same thing happens musically in some ways where 0:49:04.520 --> 0:49:07.399 someone may say, well, we invested X amount of dollars 0:49:07.440 --> 0:49:09.520 in this artist, we need to recoup this money and 0:49:09.719 --> 0:49:12.799 we have to do it let's say per artist basis, right, 0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:16.560 So so they chase may chase some success in that regard. 0:49:17.239 --> 0:49:20.759 I hear what what you're what you're saying regarding being 0:49:20.840 --> 0:49:24.920 the best because as an artist, for me personally, I 0:49:25.480 --> 0:49:27.640 never really thought to myself, I need to go practice. 0:49:28.000 --> 0:49:31.120 That's not really how I operate. I love to play music, right, 0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:35.480 So I mean if I had a guitar at my apartment, 0:49:35.560 --> 0:49:37.439 once I leave here, I probably go grab a drink 0:49:37.480 --> 0:49:39.960 and then go back to my apartment and just sit 0:49:40.040 --> 0:49:44.120 around and you know, write songs, um just because I 0:49:44.200 --> 0:49:46.360 want to. You know, it's not about I need to 0:49:46.400 --> 0:49:48.759 put in the time like an athlete really has to 0:49:48.800 --> 0:49:50.400 put in the time, because you know, if you spend 0:49:51.000 --> 0:49:54.400 five days on the couch, you may be over overresting, right, 0:49:54.480 --> 0:49:56.360 But it's also the same I played hockey because I 0:49:56.440 --> 0:49:58.600 love to, Like that's my question for you is are 0:49:58.640 --> 0:50:02.239 you having fun in your day? Do you love the chase? 0:50:02.280 --> 0:50:04.560 Do you love what you do because that's a motivation. 0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:07.160 Do you love the task or just the idea of 0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:11.359 winning at the task? No, I enjoyed the task for sure. Yeah. 0:50:11.520 --> 0:50:13.239 But but and then, but when you get a little 0:50:13.280 --> 0:50:17.160 bit of taste of success, I want more and successes. 0:50:17.440 --> 0:50:20.320 And I would love for you, Gavin to do to 0:50:20.480 --> 0:50:22.200 list all of the things that you've failed to him. 0:50:24.719 --> 0:50:26.799 Let me tell you. I mean, I I could, I could, 0:50:26.840 --> 0:50:28.560 I could listen, I could list to you all the 0:50:28.640 --> 0:50:31.640 songs that I've marketed that just that just were a 0:50:31.800 --> 0:50:34.400 total with you know what I mean, Songs that I 0:50:34.480 --> 0:50:38.320 thought were obvious hits, you know. Um, I mean I 0:50:38.680 --> 0:50:41.560 remember I remember complaining to Billy Joel. I was like, 0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:44.440 you know, I got the songs on the radio and 0:50:44.760 --> 0:50:46.440 it's a big hit. But I have this other song 0:50:46.600 --> 0:50:48.640 right now and I think it's a bigger hit, but 0:50:48.760 --> 0:50:51.719 no one will play it, you know what I mean. 0:50:52.520 --> 0:50:56.080 And we had this really great conversation and I thought, Okay, cool, cool, 0:50:57.760 --> 0:51:01.080 and I walked away thinking of myself. That didn't help 0:51:01.120 --> 0:51:02.960 me either. I mean, I just complained to my idol 0:51:03.040 --> 0:51:05.080 and I was STARTI I still walked away like this sucks, 0:51:05.560 --> 0:51:07.120 you know what I mean. I just got to talk 0:51:07.160 --> 0:51:09.040 to my idol, you know, and I was still just 0:51:09.400 --> 0:51:12.120 you know, disappointed to the fact that I I believed 0:51:12.160 --> 0:51:16.320 in something musically that could help, that should have happened 0:51:16.560 --> 0:51:19.560 in my mind, you know, as an act, thinking this 0:51:19.680 --> 0:51:21.880 song should be a hit if no one will play it. 0:51:22.360 --> 0:51:24.480 But you know it's not. It's not all up to me, 0:51:24.960 --> 0:51:27.960 and it's not even it's not even up to somebody else. 0:51:28.000 --> 0:51:30.319 It's just it happens or it doesn't happen. You still, 0:51:30.760 --> 0:51:33.080 you keep grinding because you love to grind. I love 0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:36.000 to grind because I'm passionate about what I'm doing. So 0:51:36.160 --> 0:51:38.840 to me, it's it's me loving my own cooking, you 0:51:38.920 --> 0:51:40.520 know what I mean. Is it coming over for dinner? 0:51:40.640 --> 0:51:42.600 It's great, and you know, a couple more people are 0:51:42.640 --> 0:51:45.160 sitting at your table thinking this guy can't cook worth it? 0:51:45.960 --> 0:51:49.200 But I'm like, isn't it delicious? You know They're like, yeah, 0:51:49.320 --> 0:51:51.160 sure thing. You know, if they don't come back over 0:51:51.280 --> 0:51:53.600 for you know, next weekend, guess how good you are 0:51:53.680 --> 0:51:56.839 of a ship. The one thing I want to add 0:51:56.920 --> 0:52:00.239 Ryan is is I think what I want to hich On, 0:52:00.360 --> 0:52:04.160 is self fulfillment, Like what's fulfilling to you? You know, 0:52:04.480 --> 0:52:07.759 is it getting that win, whether it's monetary reason for 0:52:07.880 --> 0:52:11.239 monetary reasons, or is it you know, sitting back and 0:52:11.320 --> 0:52:13.960 saying I just accomplished that or I'm doing this or 0:52:14.040 --> 0:52:16.360 you know. And I think that's what Brooks and Governor 0:52:16.400 --> 0:52:19.879 Bull touching upon. It's like, and as you go through life, 0:52:19.960 --> 0:52:23.960 think those accomplishments or that fulfillment will even change, you know, 0:52:24.080 --> 0:52:26.879 like even using Dmitry as an example, like he's trying 0:52:26.920 --> 0:52:29.960 to find fulfillment while he's sitting on his ass on vacation, 0:52:30.560 --> 0:52:33.840 you know, and I think if you or sitting on 0:52:33.920 --> 0:52:38.080 my ass, But I think finding that fulfillment, whether it's 0:52:38.440 --> 0:52:40.560 monetary or whatever that reason is, I think that will 0:52:40.640 --> 0:52:43.040 really help. You know, you just said that better than 0:52:43.120 --> 0:52:45.520 me Rick when I was asking him to experience his 0:52:45.560 --> 0:52:48.680 potential every night. You know, it's like taste, taste what 0:52:48.760 --> 0:52:52.160 you did every day, experience the self fulfillment. And I 0:52:52.320 --> 0:52:54.200 just have to I want to take you off the 0:52:54.239 --> 0:52:57.719 hot seat because I know here's but I see you 0:52:57.840 --> 0:53:01.600 as the ultimate provider. You're just two giant giver, and 0:53:01.719 --> 0:53:06.200 I think expanding your definition of providing. You're you're always 0:53:06.239 --> 0:53:08.320 going to bring in the money. I know you'll never stop. 0:53:08.840 --> 0:53:12.280 And if you could look at if I was your wife, 0:53:12.840 --> 0:53:15.200 If if I've got a guy who loves me that 0:53:15.360 --> 0:53:17.200 hard and is trying so hard to give me this 0:53:17.320 --> 0:53:21.719 ultimate life, that's enough. She already won the lottery with you. 0:53:22.640 --> 0:53:27.520 And everything else beyond that is gravy. You've already checked 0:53:27.560 --> 0:53:29.839 the box from providing. We promised to text you all 0:53:29.880 --> 0:53:34.440 our failures everything. Yeah, as Gavin asks repeatedly, Amy, when 0:53:34.520 --> 0:53:41.680 do we get our checks? D Let's celebrate your giving mook, 0:53:41.800 --> 0:53:46.080 I have a massage. We'll be back after the break. 0:53:46.800 --> 0:53:49.480 Jump into my man Rick and what he's dealing with. 0:53:50.760 --> 0:53:53.600 Back from break, we are do we group therapy, and 0:53:54.000 --> 0:53:56.480 we're getting to, like we said, the truth behind the 0:53:56.560 --> 0:54:00.279 behavior of these good serves, these good gentlemen. Now onto 0:54:00.360 --> 0:54:06.040 you Rick, Rick, you are in the hot seatom okay, 0:54:06.360 --> 0:54:10.120 do you want to dive into your conversation with Rick? Okay? Wreck, Hello, 0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:17.880 so good, I'm next. You're on the hot seats. So 0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:20.320 we had our little mini session and I'll give the 0:54:20.360 --> 0:54:22.960 listeners a little wrap up of what we discussed that 0:54:23.320 --> 0:54:26.520 you're challenged with, right, now or what you'd like to shift. 0:54:28.120 --> 0:54:31.839 And I would sum it up in that you are 0:54:32.000 --> 0:54:36.879 comfortably stuck, yes, right, comfortably stuck. Yeah, that you've you've 0:54:36.960 --> 0:54:41.920 had a habit of putting yourself last, because, like we've 0:54:41.960 --> 0:54:44.520 been talking about, there's always a good reason, right for 0:54:44.640 --> 0:54:46.880 the things that men do. And the good reason is 0:54:46.920 --> 0:54:51.040 because you're phenomenally loyal and you you really care you 0:54:51.280 --> 0:54:53.920 you carry a lot of guilt if you don't deliver 0:54:54.440 --> 0:54:58.719 you and so you have made choices in your life 0:54:58.800 --> 0:55:01.200 that I think are not producing the kind of freedom 0:55:01.560 --> 0:55:04.480 that you really want. Yeah, exactly. And I feel that 0:55:04.560 --> 0:55:08.320 way a lot, you know, even like at my home space, 0:55:08.520 --> 0:55:10.840 or my workplace or really kind of just in general 0:55:10.920 --> 0:55:15.760 at everything. And I feel that if I don't sometimes 0:55:15.840 --> 0:55:18.759 reach to a particular potential, that I consider myself a 0:55:18.840 --> 0:55:24.040 failure at times when there's no reason to do that, 0:55:24.360 --> 0:55:26.080 you know, and it's I just need to step back 0:55:26.160 --> 0:55:27.600 and let it, let it go. And I have a 0:55:27.680 --> 0:55:30.680 really hard time with like letting it go, you know, 0:55:30.760 --> 0:55:34.120 whether it's um, you know, feelings or something may have 0:55:34.239 --> 0:55:36.800 happened to me and really kind of talking to that 0:55:36.880 --> 0:55:40.040 other side of my brain, you know, I'm usually listening 0:55:40.120 --> 0:55:42.640 to the one side that's saying, oh, this is what happened, 0:55:42.719 --> 0:55:44.279 or this is what you're going through, or this is 0:55:44.320 --> 0:55:47.239 what's happening, instead of kind of peeling that other layer 0:55:47.280 --> 0:55:50.839 back and listening to the other side saying just take 0:55:50.880 --> 0:55:53.560 a rest, don't don't listen to that person over there anymore, 0:55:53.800 --> 0:55:56.239 or don't give that person to give that person a break, 0:55:56.840 --> 0:55:59.000 you know. And I and I put so much onto 0:55:59.120 --> 0:56:04.000 myself about that that, um, it affects my relationships with 0:56:04.120 --> 0:56:06.239 my friends, my family, my kids, you know, whatever that 0:56:06.320 --> 0:56:09.360 may be. Yeah, we all have that voice inside of 0:56:09.480 --> 0:56:12.719 us that's, you know, trying to help us be better, 0:56:13.040 --> 0:56:18.000 be perfect, perform higher, better, more faster, you know. And 0:56:18.120 --> 0:56:19.719 what I wanted to ask you was like, how do 0:56:19.840 --> 0:56:24.080 I how do I shift that from listening to the 0:56:24.680 --> 0:56:26.360 I don't know if negative is the right word to 0:56:26.480 --> 0:56:30.480 use for that voice, but shifting from to the other voice, 0:56:30.680 --> 0:56:32.560 you know, or or the other side of it to 0:56:32.920 --> 0:56:35.640 help me actually steer my path, my life path through 0:56:35.800 --> 0:56:38.399 whatever I'm trying to go through. Yeah, it's the best question. 0:56:38.440 --> 0:56:40.480 It's universally, but we're all challenged with and I think 0:56:40.520 --> 0:56:42.719 that's important for everyone to know that it's not just 0:56:42.880 --> 0:56:44.719 some of us that have that voice. I think it 0:56:45.000 --> 0:56:48.359 comes into our awareness when we're really little, and it's 0:56:48.400 --> 0:56:52.480 a survival mechanism. So the shortcut, because I'm all about shortcuts, 0:56:52.840 --> 0:56:58.640 like practical tools, right, the shortcut is really first off, 0:56:58.800 --> 0:57:01.919 recognizing what's the psitive intention? Again, what's the good reason 0:57:02.000 --> 0:57:03.600 for that little voice in you? Right? What do you 0:57:03.640 --> 0:57:06.320 think it wants for you? Right? I feel like it 0:57:06.480 --> 0:57:10.560 wants it wants me to do what I want to 0:57:10.600 --> 0:57:13.279 be doing and not kind of being tied to what 0:57:14.320 --> 0:57:17.560 somebody else wants or maybe a society thing. I don't 0:57:17.560 --> 0:57:21.240 know if it's that big or not, but focusing on 0:57:21.360 --> 0:57:23.240 what I want to be doing and not like what 0:57:23.440 --> 0:57:26.600 I should be doing or what you know, like I 0:57:26.680 --> 0:57:28.760 should be in a in a relationship or I shouldn't 0:57:28.760 --> 0:57:30.440 be in a relationship, or I should be you know, 0:57:30.520 --> 0:57:33.840 in a work situation or a non work situation, and 0:57:33.960 --> 0:57:36.400 really listening to that other side of the voice saying, hey, 0:57:36.960 --> 0:57:39.000 you know that this isn't right, or you know that 0:57:39.160 --> 0:57:42.040 this is right. No, it doesn't always have to be negative, 0:57:42.080 --> 0:57:45.560 but you know that this is right. Go do that, um. 0:57:45.680 --> 0:57:48.840 And That's what I'm really struggling with in all aspects 0:57:48.880 --> 0:57:51.520 of my life. Yeah, So if that little voice actually 0:57:51.600 --> 0:57:54.160 wants the same thing for you that you know in 0:57:54.240 --> 0:57:56.440 your higher self you want for you, which is freedom. Right, 0:57:56.600 --> 0:57:59.080 I think every one of us is here to experience 0:57:59.120 --> 0:58:03.240 at our highest level is freedom and love. And so 0:58:04.280 --> 0:58:06.760 you're talking about also when we had our session, that 0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:09.880 your highest value is happiness. You want that for your kids, 0:58:10.000 --> 0:58:11.640 you want that for your wife, you want that for 0:58:11.760 --> 0:58:14.560 all these guys. You know, that's what you're trying to give. 0:58:15.080 --> 0:58:18.560 And so my question for you is is do you 0:58:18.840 --> 0:58:22.520 think that you can have that happiness and freedom and 0:58:22.720 --> 0:58:26.160 be successful. I definitely think I can. Um, you know, 0:58:26.200 --> 0:58:28.400 and I think the biggest thing is for me is 0:58:28.520 --> 0:58:31.640 trying to overcome that obstacle of that other side. Now 0:58:31.760 --> 0:58:33.760 I know what is going to make me happy. I 0:58:33.880 --> 0:58:36.560 know what how to get to that point. Um, And 0:58:36.640 --> 0:58:39.160 I think you know, and talking to you and everybody 0:58:39.200 --> 0:58:41.600 else is trying to, you know, to leap over those 0:58:42.240 --> 0:58:44.760 those boundaries that are put that my I'm putting in 0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:48.760 front of myself really trying to follow that path. Well, 0:58:48.920 --> 0:58:52.320 the leap is first recognizing that that voice has a 0:58:52.640 --> 0:58:55.680 high and positive intention for that one. First, that's what 0:58:55.800 --> 0:58:57.960 I need to do. Yeah, and then don't fight it 0:58:58.200 --> 0:59:00.840 because we all want to like, oh the part of myself, 0:59:00.960 --> 0:59:03.560 you know, or like try to shut up and make 0:59:03.640 --> 0:59:06.600 it quiet, and it will not until you direct it 0:59:06.720 --> 0:59:10.720 towards the goal. So I think the shortcut for you then, 0:59:11.000 --> 0:59:14.400 after recognizing the good reason, is going into the athlete, 0:59:14.520 --> 0:59:18.600 the athlete in you, because that's that's probably a part 0:59:18.960 --> 0:59:21.240 you know that really drives you in a good and 0:59:21.560 --> 0:59:24.240 a healthy way. Like you've got this big race coming up, 0:59:24.840 --> 0:59:28.600 you're swimming, and you identify as an athlete, and that 0:59:28.880 --> 0:59:31.000 driving us to be congruent with who we think we 0:59:31.080 --> 0:59:33.880 are is what you use. So instead of going into 0:59:33.920 --> 0:59:36.560 the beat down and oh my god, I'm not there yet, 0:59:36.680 --> 0:59:38.280 or oh my god, I don't feel free or I'm 0:59:38.320 --> 0:59:40.680 not happy yet, and you know, you feel that gap 0:59:41.080 --> 0:59:43.200 from where you are and where you want to be, 0:59:43.840 --> 0:59:48.280 you go onto athlete mode because I think, there you 0:59:48.400 --> 0:59:50.320 know how to be on a team, but you also 0:59:50.520 --> 0:59:55.120 know how to be at your highest performance, right, Like, 0:59:55.240 --> 0:59:57.680 tell me what it's like when you're swimming. What how 0:59:57.760 --> 1:00:00.720 do you think does that voice even register when you're swimming? 1:00:01.440 --> 1:00:03.720 You know, it's kind of funny, it's powerful, you know, 1:00:03.880 --> 1:00:07.320 and there's a voice. That's that's thinking, and that's why 1:00:07.320 --> 1:00:09.840 I actually love swimming and doing the workouts because it 1:00:10.000 --> 1:00:12.760 allows me that kind of freedom or time to think 1:00:12.800 --> 1:00:16.280 about a lot of things, you know, and that um, 1:00:16.800 --> 1:00:19.439 you know, I feel like that is powerful and that's 1:00:19.480 --> 1:00:21.400 the voice I need to continue to listen to while 1:00:21.440 --> 1:00:24.600 I'm swimming and so or playing water polo or you know, 1:00:24.760 --> 1:00:27.560 exercising in the gym, and and for me, it just 1:00:27.720 --> 1:00:31.800 makes me overall feel good and strong, you know, maybe 1:00:31.840 --> 1:00:34.120 even physically, but definitely mentally, you know, like I've just 1:00:34.200 --> 1:00:37.800 accomplished something and that workout or I just accomplished something 1:00:37.880 --> 1:00:41.479 in that race across Lake Tahoe, or I accomplished whatever. 1:00:41.560 --> 1:00:43.600 And that's the part that I need to continue to 1:00:43.680 --> 1:00:46.320 listen to and and can get me over that, you know, 1:00:46.560 --> 1:00:49.920 get me through to tap into that more literally going 1:00:49.960 --> 1:00:52.120 to cut and paste it. Yes, you know, there are 1:00:52.160 --> 1:00:57.360 people who've struggled with lists or challenges in life that 1:00:57.600 --> 1:01:00.240 you know, no one could cure. And I know one 1:01:00.280 --> 1:01:03.920 of my teachers uses this technique to literally cut and 1:01:04.040 --> 1:01:09.520 paste the mindset or the freedom that this person would 1:01:09.560 --> 1:01:12.880 feel when he's surfing, and he could go from lisping 1:01:12.960 --> 1:01:16.080 in one moment, barely able to get out a word 1:01:16.880 --> 1:01:21.080 to putting himself on the board, feeling the ocean, feeling 1:01:21.200 --> 1:01:24.000 the salty air, and all of a sudden he speaks, 1:01:24.080 --> 1:01:28.040 as clear as you me, that is wild. It's a choice, right, 1:01:28.800 --> 1:01:30.720 So that's that's the short kind. I think the other 1:01:30.800 --> 1:01:33.920 side of it is, you know, it's getting to make 1:01:34.000 --> 1:01:36.360 that decision to turn into the athlete or to go 1:01:36.480 --> 1:01:38.880 down that path and to be that positive, make those 1:01:38.920 --> 1:01:42.400 positive decisions, but to also you know, I deal with 1:01:42.800 --> 1:01:46.760 the regret that I've left back, you know, like what 1:01:47.080 --> 1:01:49.880 either whether it's a person or an individual or you know, 1:01:50.080 --> 1:01:54.040 leaving somebody or something and saying, hey, that's not you know, 1:01:54.920 --> 1:01:57.480 we didn't finish what we started. And that's the part 1:01:57.560 --> 1:02:01.680 I have a really trouble, troubled I'm with with dealing mentally, 1:02:01.840 --> 1:02:03.880 you know, with that of like whether it's usually it's 1:02:03.920 --> 1:02:06.200 in like a work situation, right or you know, right, Well, 1:02:06.200 --> 1:02:09.000 if we go back to this really resourceful side of you, 1:02:09.120 --> 1:02:12.320 the athlete, the athlete probably won't quit when he's swimming 1:02:12.320 --> 1:02:15.680 across like Taho, right, you won't give up. So you're 1:02:15.720 --> 1:02:19.800 applying again that same blueprint to the job. Even though 1:02:19.960 --> 1:02:22.280 this is a race you don't want to swim anymore, 1:02:22.560 --> 1:02:26.640 not by myself, that's for sure. Yeah. Yeah, So again, 1:02:26.720 --> 1:02:28.800 I think it's in that moment you think about you're 1:02:28.880 --> 1:02:32.960 here in this lifetime to experience happiness and freedom. So 1:02:33.360 --> 1:02:37.080 there's that athlete in you who says, and I know 1:02:38.760 --> 1:02:41.120 what race to enter in, right, you know if this 1:02:41.240 --> 1:02:43.480 is a race that just cutting it. I'm not going 1:02:43.560 --> 1:02:46.520 to enter that anymore if I know I can't finish it. 1:02:46.960 --> 1:02:51.120 Like you said, when you need to, let's say, swim 1:02:51.200 --> 1:02:53.680 a race or run a race, you go into athlete 1:02:53.760 --> 1:02:56.280 mode if you're going to make a leap, is what 1:02:56.360 --> 1:02:59.240 you said. I need a certain number of things, remind you. 1:02:59.320 --> 1:03:02.320 You said, I need answers, I need clarity. I need 1:03:02.400 --> 1:03:04.840 to know how I'll manage. I need excitement. I need 1:03:04.880 --> 1:03:07.440 to know who's going to drive. You need to like 1:03:07.720 --> 1:03:10.480 know all the things. And I'm sure you mapped that 1:03:10.560 --> 1:03:14.680 out a lot when you actually are competing, right, so 1:03:15.000 --> 1:03:17.120 you've lined everything up to know that you can win. 1:03:17.880 --> 1:03:20.560 So did you ever have a coach back in the 1:03:20.680 --> 1:03:25.000 day doing all the sports? Oh yeah, I've had multiple 1:03:25.560 --> 1:03:29.560 m very strict, like rigid coaches. I've had two very 1:03:29.840 --> 1:03:32.120 you know blessed in high school and then in college 1:03:32.240 --> 1:03:36.120 that were amazing coaches. I mean, but very strict, very stringent. 1:03:36.320 --> 1:03:39.280 You know, work. It's all about working hard. And they 1:03:39.360 --> 1:03:41.439 made you better and they made it they made me better. 1:03:41.480 --> 1:03:44.040 They maybe you know, like powerful and you know, to 1:03:44.560 --> 1:03:47.960 withstand the tests of either a failure or whatnot. Right, 1:03:48.240 --> 1:03:50.240 So do you allow yourself that when it comes to 1:03:50.360 --> 1:03:53.320 the career and to success. I don't right now, you know, 1:03:53.600 --> 1:03:56.000 And and I need to um and I and like 1:03:56.160 --> 1:03:58.320 we were talking about, like I map all those those 1:03:58.800 --> 1:04:01.120 things out in my head, you know what I want 1:04:01.160 --> 1:04:04.360 to do, but I don't put it into action. Yeah. See, 1:04:04.400 --> 1:04:07.520 I think that's really common. I think we all understand 1:04:07.600 --> 1:04:09.480 the need for a coach when it comes to sports. 1:04:10.120 --> 1:04:12.600 And then somehow we adult and we go out into 1:04:12.600 --> 1:04:14.160 the world and we're supposed to figure it all out 1:04:14.200 --> 1:04:17.360 on our own. And there are people who actually have 1:04:17.600 --> 1:04:20.600 walked the path before you who could say, hey, Rick, 1:04:20.960 --> 1:04:24.160 not a race you need to run anymore, or here 1:04:24.400 --> 1:04:26.400 are a number of things that you could do two 1:04:26.440 --> 1:04:31.400 millimeter shift here there to make it actually enjoyable and freeing, 1:04:31.720 --> 1:04:34.720 and so you don't have to carry this guilt or 1:04:34.840 --> 1:04:37.440 we talked about how you had set out to deliver 1:04:37.880 --> 1:04:42.080 like six things when you signed on for this particular gig, right, 1:04:42.160 --> 1:04:43.720 And I feel like the other side of you know, 1:04:43.880 --> 1:04:45.400 I look at it and I'm like, I have to 1:04:45.440 --> 1:04:49.600 do it all myself. When I don't the realities, I 1:04:49.640 --> 1:04:52.400 can turn to, you know, somebody else and ask them, hey, 1:04:52.600 --> 1:04:56.240 you like and being okay with asking for that help 1:04:56.320 --> 1:04:58.600 and saying, hey, can you help me with this? Or 1:04:58.880 --> 1:05:01.320 you know, that person may know something better about something 1:05:01.400 --> 1:05:03.320 you know something else, and so it's hey, do you 1:05:03.400 --> 1:05:05.440 mind helping me in this? In this aspect? Is that 1:05:05.560 --> 1:05:09.040 something you find universally guys struggle with. I think so, yeah, 1:05:09.520 --> 1:05:12.280 they definitely do, you know, because it's like, well, you're 1:05:12.360 --> 1:05:13.960 gonna need to do this myself, and you know, and 1:05:14.600 --> 1:05:16.960 and I you know a lot of successful people and 1:05:17.000 --> 1:05:19.360 I don't care about success all that much, but it's 1:05:20.160 --> 1:05:24.360 it's they they have asked people along the way, you know, 1:05:24.400 --> 1:05:26.520 and they do have those coaches, you know, whether it's 1:05:26.560 --> 1:05:30.080 in sports or life or whatever, and mentors, And I 1:05:30.120 --> 1:05:32.160 think that's that's something that I really need to kind 1:05:32.160 --> 1:05:34.520 of focus on. It's the same thing You're just going 1:05:34.600 --> 1:05:36.680 to go back to being the athlete and going, oh, yeah, 1:05:36.680 --> 1:05:39.240 I would have asked my coach how to improve my stress. 1:05:39.280 --> 1:05:43.479 How right, it's not an admission that you don't know something. 1:05:43.560 --> 1:05:45.160 And I think you guys put so much pressure on 1:05:45.280 --> 1:05:48.800 yourselves to know everything, and they just want to Actually, 1:05:49.000 --> 1:05:51.600 we should say this out loud. They want I think 1:05:51.680 --> 1:05:56.720 women want to ride you harder, not knowing how hard 1:05:56.760 --> 1:05:59.360 you're riding yourself already, Like why are you work so 1:05:59.520 --> 1:06:03.240 much and why aren't you x y Z for me 1:06:03.920 --> 1:06:10.080 when you're really battling this part of yourself and just 1:06:10.320 --> 1:06:13.560 trying to give, Like if you could tell your family, look, 1:06:13.600 --> 1:06:16.840 I am here to deliver happiness. I am the happiness 1:06:16.920 --> 1:06:20.040 delivery man. That is what I'm going for every day. 1:06:20.680 --> 1:06:23.200 I know that if you're trying to give that to others, 1:06:23.360 --> 1:06:26.400 you have to give it to yourself Otherwise it comes outsideways. 1:06:27.000 --> 1:06:30.120 It doesn't work. And I'm the first to admit I 1:06:30.160 --> 1:06:33.040 mean I solo preneuring. You know. I thought I could 1:06:33.080 --> 1:06:34.800 do it all on my own, and it took a 1:06:34.920 --> 1:06:38.840 long time to realize that that is just no strategy. Yeah, 1:06:39.320 --> 1:06:41.480 if I'm here to deliver joy in the same way 1:06:41.520 --> 1:06:44.560 that you're here to deliver happiness, I gotta be like 1:06:44.800 --> 1:06:47.200 feeling it right, you know, so that when you're just 1:06:47.360 --> 1:06:49.400 around me, you get it. And I think that's the 1:06:49.440 --> 1:06:53.240 other thing is like there are days where I feel incredible, 1:06:53.840 --> 1:06:56.960 and whether it's a whether it's something positive happened at 1:06:56.960 --> 1:06:59.920 work or at home or with you know, or even 1:07:00.560 --> 1:07:02.480 working outside of it. You know, I always kind of 1:07:02.680 --> 1:07:06.000 revert back to physical working side, working outside of it, 1:07:06.120 --> 1:07:08.080 like Okay, I'm gonna now get back on track and 1:07:08.120 --> 1:07:10.520 I'm gonna go swim and that's gonna make me feel good. 1:07:10.520 --> 1:07:11.960 And it does make me feel good. But it's like 1:07:12.440 --> 1:07:14.920 if I don't, there are days where I do. It's 1:07:15.000 --> 1:07:18.000 it's the days that that feeling isn't there. How do 1:07:18.120 --> 1:07:20.320 I deal with it and my coping it with something 1:07:20.400 --> 1:07:22.360 else in my you know, how do I jump out 1:07:22.400 --> 1:07:26.560 of that feeling that day and being Mr Happiness? Yeah 1:07:26.760 --> 1:07:29.280 that's the yes. I mean, how long have you practice 1:07:29.280 --> 1:07:33.040 swimming forever? Yeah? You're going to be doing this for 1:07:34.000 --> 1:07:36.120 It's a choice in any given moment. And I think 1:07:36.160 --> 1:07:39.680 it's about defying our culture. Really. I think our culture 1:07:39.720 --> 1:07:43.200 has taught us ever since you know, the Industrial Revolution 1:07:43.400 --> 1:07:46.120 or somewhere around there, that it was just work harder, faster, 1:07:46.200 --> 1:07:48.960 and more correct. You know, like we're all still machines 1:07:49.160 --> 1:07:52.720 when we get into business mode. And I think there's 1:07:52.760 --> 1:07:56.200 a new moment, a new way where we need to 1:07:56.280 --> 1:07:59.240 access more of our heart, We need to access more 1:07:59.280 --> 1:08:03.040 of our creative ativity and you know, our intuition and 1:08:03.160 --> 1:08:07.360 some of these skills that are beyond just producing results. 1:08:07.960 --> 1:08:10.680 We need human skills, we need e Q all of 1:08:10.760 --> 1:08:13.280 that and that comes from you feeling like a well, 1:08:13.400 --> 1:08:16.160 happy man, correct and that. I feel like if you 1:08:16.320 --> 1:08:23.120 get to that point, you that trickles down to everything else, people, environment, 1:08:23.600 --> 1:08:27.040 whatever you're you know you're trying to get to. But yeah, 1:08:27.040 --> 1:08:30.080 I think it's amazing. Yeah, I think it's the the strategy. 1:08:30.200 --> 1:08:32.799 I think it's the strategy for being a greater partner, 1:08:32.920 --> 1:08:35.800 It's the strategy for being a greater dad, for being 1:08:35.840 --> 1:08:38.320 greater at your work. Is if you know, we all 1:08:38.360 --> 1:08:40.479 know those great leaders that show up who just have 1:08:40.640 --> 1:08:44.600 that calm to them, they're satiated. You know, we've got 1:08:44.680 --> 1:08:47.519 to say no more machine. And I know Ryan loves 1:08:47.600 --> 1:08:51.559 working hard. We talked to him. I don't think we're 1:08:51.560 --> 1:08:56.439 going to take that away from him, but maybe you can. Yeah, 1:08:56.520 --> 1:09:01.679 let's see the role model for Ryan. Yeah, it, thank 1:09:01.720 --> 1:09:04.120 you so much. I have a question for you, Shury, 1:09:04.200 --> 1:09:07.720 just on what you just mentioned because and I think 1:09:07.760 --> 1:09:11.240 a lot of listeners can resonate with this. Certainly I do, 1:09:11.360 --> 1:09:15.280 and I think these guys will as well. To be 1:09:15.800 --> 1:09:20.120 successful in what every industry or career you are in, 1:09:20.320 --> 1:09:24.160 there has to be something about you that is extremely driven. H. 1:09:25.240 --> 1:09:29.840 So there is an innate personality in you that has 1:09:29.880 --> 1:09:33.599 allowed you to succeed to the level and the degree 1:09:33.680 --> 1:09:39.479 and elevate above others uh currently in your life. Now, 1:09:39.560 --> 1:09:42.519 how do you balance how how can somebody with that 1:09:43.000 --> 1:09:47.559 engine also balance it with dialing back a little bit 1:09:47.680 --> 1:09:49.960 because it's innate in them and it's a it's been 1:09:50.000 --> 1:09:52.320 a blessing in their life to allow them to succeed. 1:09:52.840 --> 1:09:55.680 But how do we then put the governor on that 1:09:55.800 --> 1:09:58.960 and back off the full speed or full throttle and 1:09:59.080 --> 1:10:01.240 back off some of this dressed like Ryan's talking about 1:10:01.280 --> 1:10:03.560 her some of the having the draw job control me, 1:10:03.680 --> 1:10:05.880 like Rick's talking about, like how do we how do 1:10:06.000 --> 1:10:08.479 we have that engine and also have control to bring 1:10:08.520 --> 1:10:10.760 it back? Yeah, that's the best question. And I get 1:10:10.840 --> 1:10:13.360 that all the time from leaders at Google and Nike 1:10:13.600 --> 1:10:16.840 and YouTube and I mean, really a high powered, high paced. 1:10:17.120 --> 1:10:19.680 If I pull back on the throttle, someone else is 1:10:19.680 --> 1:10:25.680 going to take my job, passed me by. Yeah, but 1:10:25.760 --> 1:10:30.000 I'll give you the perfect metaphor. It's super simple. Phil Edwards, 1:10:30.080 --> 1:10:32.360 one of the world's greatest surfers, said, the best surfer 1:10:32.439 --> 1:10:35.640 out there is the one having the most fun. And 1:10:35.720 --> 1:10:37.960 you go out to surf the waves. Nobody a goes 1:10:38.000 --> 1:10:41.519 out for a bad time. Be you're cool. When there 1:10:41.520 --> 1:10:43.519 are no waves, you wait, you hang out, talk to 1:10:43.560 --> 1:10:46.280 your buddies, you wait. You enjoy being in the water, 1:10:46.560 --> 1:10:49.320 being out there. And then when the waves come, even 1:10:49.360 --> 1:10:53.679 when you get thrown down into the rip, you're there 1:10:53.760 --> 1:10:58.439 for that. You you go at it with everything you've got, 1:10:59.240 --> 1:11:02.840 no matter what's being presented to you, because you want 1:11:02.840 --> 1:11:06.360 to have fun, because you're hungry for the fun. Right. So, 1:11:06.600 --> 1:11:09.800 I think if you have that mindset, that maybe there's 1:11:09.840 --> 1:11:12.640 a new way upon us. Maybe the old way, the 1:11:12.720 --> 1:11:17.200 industrial era taught us you have to do more, harder, faster, grind, 1:11:17.360 --> 1:11:19.559 be stressed. That's what it looks like to work hard. 1:11:19.920 --> 1:11:22.320 A lot of us were raised that way. Maybe we 1:11:22.479 --> 1:11:27.760 question that and say, actually, when we're relaxed, we have 1:11:28.000 --> 1:11:31.400 access to our prefrontal cortex. We have access to our heart. 1:11:31.560 --> 1:11:34.040 We can actually be a channel. We can listen to 1:11:34.120 --> 1:11:37.880 our own intuition. We have access to way more than 1:11:38.080 --> 1:11:42.559 just the machine appear. They talk about it with sprinters too, 1:11:42.640 --> 1:11:44.719 Like you ever watch a hundred meter dash in the Olympics. 1:11:45.320 --> 1:11:49.760 They zoom in on sprinters faces and are their cheeks bouncing? 1:11:50.439 --> 1:11:52.439 You guys ever see this? Are their cheeks bouncing while 1:11:52.479 --> 1:11:55.840 they're running. So they're running the fastest race on earth 1:11:55.920 --> 1:11:59.000 with full exertion, yet to be fully relaxed so that 1:11:59.120 --> 1:12:02.560 your cheeks are actually bouncing. It seems like a contradiction, 1:12:02.680 --> 1:12:06.680 but it's a state of flow. It's it's really like 1:12:06.800 --> 1:12:08.240 gave as an artist, you know, when you're in a 1:12:08.360 --> 1:12:11.040 state of flow, like or as a TV exact like, 1:12:11.160 --> 1:12:13.519 things are just coming and you aren't thinking they're just 1:12:13.720 --> 1:12:16.559 you are innately in it and reacting. As an athlete 1:12:16.640 --> 1:12:20.800 the same thing, to find that balance between super intensity 1:12:20.920 --> 1:12:24.280 but absolutely relaxed. And I think that's presence what you're 1:12:24.320 --> 1:12:28.760 talking about, fully presence. Sometimes it's not about faster. Yeah, 1:12:29.120 --> 1:12:32.080 it's just fun, like really how much fun? And just 1:12:32.240 --> 1:12:34.720 when I was here and you Talkedmitri something, my wife 1:12:34.760 --> 1:12:36.160 and I always talked about is when we go on 1:12:36.560 --> 1:12:38.920 on a vacation, we might have one day that's like 1:12:39.000 --> 1:12:42.200 a paramount amazing, my god, We're gonna do something incredible today, 1:12:42.240 --> 1:12:44.240 so it's bungee jumping, and the next day is just 1:12:44.360 --> 1:12:47.599 sitting by the pool. I challenge her. I'm like, Okay, 1:12:47.680 --> 1:12:50.080 just because we did something incredible yesterday, we have to 1:12:50.160 --> 1:12:53.040 make today better. I want today to be better. I 1:12:53.080 --> 1:12:56.000 don't want each day of my life to be worse 1:12:56.080 --> 1:12:58.400 than the day before. My challenge in my life is 1:12:58.439 --> 1:13:00.439 to make my life better. Everything good day. And I 1:13:00.439 --> 1:13:01.720 say that to people every day, the best day of 1:13:01.760 --> 1:13:04.360 my life today. But like when you're on your relationship 1:13:04.400 --> 1:13:08.120 with your on your vacation with your family, yeah, I 1:13:08.200 --> 1:13:10.000 think if you're thinking how can I have the most 1:13:10.160 --> 1:13:15.040 fun today would sort of help subside the oh my god, 1:13:15.120 --> 1:13:18.240 this is ending in three days, you know, and I'm 1:13:18.280 --> 1:13:20.840 sure you do it, like I know you. I'm sure 1:13:20.880 --> 1:13:23.080 you do it. But maybe being more mindful of even 1:13:23.120 --> 1:13:24.760 just saying that, like I just want to have the 1:13:24.840 --> 1:13:27.280 best time ever today and I'll think about tomorrow when 1:13:27.280 --> 1:13:30.960 tomorrow comes. I think, Yeah, what you brought up about 1:13:31.000 --> 1:13:33.519 flow is everything. And in the flow state. We feel 1:13:33.560 --> 1:13:36.080 fully alive. I think we could all agree that that's 1:13:36.080 --> 1:13:39.080 what we want, you know, the fully alive feeling of 1:13:39.200 --> 1:13:43.320 like that full enjoyment, and that means like maybe you're better, 1:13:43.479 --> 1:13:45.560 better better. It's just, oh my god, how can I 1:13:45.680 --> 1:13:48.040 so taste this flavor? Because this flavor being by the 1:13:48.120 --> 1:13:51.920 pool is very different than bungie. I have a sort 1:13:51.960 --> 1:13:55.360 of a governing question in in my life is how 1:13:55.439 --> 1:13:59.439 can I give everything to this? Yeah, is sort of 1:13:59.479 --> 1:14:02.040 how I if I'm on the phone with somebody, how 1:14:02.080 --> 1:14:04.800 can I give everything to this phone call? If I'm 1:14:05.280 --> 1:14:07.719 on this doing this podcast, how can I give everything? 1:14:07.960 --> 1:14:09.880 And it kind of keeps you present because I'm not. 1:14:10.760 --> 1:14:13.479 That's why I have to this on the end of 1:14:13.560 --> 1:14:16.840 that question, because it's not that it's not the next thing. 1:14:17.760 --> 1:14:19.880 So you know, if you're doing a concert, how can 1:14:19.920 --> 1:14:22.760 I give everything? Or a game just tonight, I know 1:14:22.880 --> 1:14:26.120 we got eighty two game season, but just tonight, you know, 1:14:26.479 --> 1:14:28.320 and then a conversation on the phone or going to 1:14:28.439 --> 1:14:31.120 a meal with friends or something. It's really in my 1:14:31.280 --> 1:14:33.559 life to help me keeping present, just reminding myself, how 1:14:33.640 --> 1:14:36.720 can I give everything I have to this? I so 1:14:36.920 --> 1:14:39.479 experience that with you like the whole entire time I've 1:14:39.479 --> 1:14:42.519 been with you today. That's that's exactly you have that 1:14:42.640 --> 1:14:46.080 presence we're talking about. I think I got it because 1:14:46.120 --> 1:14:48.040 I didn't have it. I had some of the same 1:14:48.120 --> 1:14:50.920 things as as Dmitri, like, oh my god, I'm five 1:14:50.960 --> 1:14:53.320 years into my career. My career is how much long 1:14:53.360 --> 1:14:55.120 am I going to play? You? No? I only have 1:14:55.240 --> 1:14:56.600 X amount of time to win, an x amount of 1:14:56.640 --> 1:14:58.559 time to make money, you know, like an athlete has 1:14:58.560 --> 1:15:01.320 an earning potential, right, Like I think I had to 1:15:01.400 --> 1:15:05.639 develop that, right. So you just mentioned Brooks giving everything 1:15:05.760 --> 1:15:08.439 you have into anything you do, a phone call being 1:15:08.439 --> 1:15:10.280 an example. So, Shari, the question I have for you 1:15:10.520 --> 1:15:14.400 is Brooks has proven to be a serial facetimer. He 1:15:14.520 --> 1:15:17.840 refuses to have normal phone calls and only FaceTime. So 1:15:17.920 --> 1:15:21.160 when you had your pre interview, did you guys FaceTime 1:15:21.240 --> 1:15:24.880 or did you talk like normal civilized human beings normal 1:15:25.120 --> 1:15:31.639 human we call connected us. Oh nice, So it's on Amy, 1:15:31.760 --> 1:15:33.840 But did you know there's three way FaceTime? You could 1:15:33.880 --> 1:15:35.840 face time and and pastor. And I think the problem. 1:15:36.760 --> 1:15:39.080 The problem is Brooks is very handsome, so that is 1:15:39.200 --> 1:15:43.720 giving his best is by doing face. My question to 1:15:43.800 --> 1:15:47.120 wrap things up and again the vibe I'm getting from 1:15:47.160 --> 1:15:48.599 the three of you, and really we put the three 1:15:48.640 --> 1:15:52.400 of you in the hot seat, is this go go 1:15:52.760 --> 1:15:56.839 more more do do? And what I'm wondering from Gavin 1:15:57.280 --> 1:16:01.240 Brooks Shari, if we all slow down a bit, do 1:16:01.360 --> 1:16:05.720 we actually accomplish more? Because I'm certain we do. Like 1:16:06.240 --> 1:16:09.080 I feel that that when you like, for example, when 1:16:09.080 --> 1:16:11.240 you're trying to be creative, you can't be creative when 1:16:11.240 --> 1:16:13.280 you have forty seven emails and the phone's ringing into 1:16:13.320 --> 1:16:14.920 this and people are talking to you. You have to 1:16:15.120 --> 1:16:19.519 like go somewhere else or be quiet. So would it 1:16:19.640 --> 1:16:25.240 help these three to just slow down and relax? I 1:16:25.560 --> 1:16:27.519 will say what you whispered into my ear to a 1:16:27.600 --> 1:16:29.720 minute ago, Is this this like a difference between men 1:16:29.760 --> 1:16:31.920 and women? And I will say no. With all the 1:16:31.960 --> 1:16:34.160 work I've been doing with men, the very first thing 1:16:34.320 --> 1:16:37.120 that I take them through is slowing down and getting 1:16:37.160 --> 1:16:40.120 into your body so that you can actually feel and 1:16:40.200 --> 1:16:43.599 then do anything well. And I think that's what I'm 1:16:43.760 --> 1:16:47.160 constantly talking about as a soul pace, right, the pace 1:16:47.280 --> 1:16:50.280 at which you are most connected to yourself and others. 1:16:50.720 --> 1:16:53.560 And it's different for everybody, Like I think Ryan it 1:16:53.680 --> 1:16:57.000 might be that you just super enjoy the hustle. And 1:16:57.160 --> 1:16:59.479 it's not to say that that's wrong, it's only like 1:17:00.040 --> 1:17:02.559 it cost you and are you okay with the cost? 1:17:02.760 --> 1:17:09.400 And I think that the slowing down is really the 1:17:09.479 --> 1:17:13.960 ultimate performance hack. And our world is going way too fast. 1:17:14.080 --> 1:17:17.080 We all know it. To your point, Amy, yes, I 1:17:17.160 --> 1:17:22.160 would something that I've been very aware of in my 1:17:22.280 --> 1:17:25.640 life and I'm working on is and I hope this 1:17:25.840 --> 1:17:30.920 maybe can resonate with you Ryan. Less projects, bigger ones, 1:17:31.479 --> 1:17:36.519 less decisions, bigger ones are just I'm because I came 1:17:36.560 --> 1:17:39.720 out of hockey world. Is my oyster opportunities. I want 1:17:39.760 --> 1:17:41.600 to do. This could pulled this way that way. I 1:17:41.680 --> 1:17:43.200 want to try dabble in this because now I have 1:17:43.320 --> 1:17:46.479 time to explore thoughts that I've had for thirty five 1:17:46.560 --> 1:17:50.000 years that I could never allocate resources to before. So 1:17:50.160 --> 1:17:52.800 it's I'm kicking tires everywhere and I've found it's been 1:17:52.840 --> 1:17:57.479 exhausting and I'm not getting real true fulfillment and purpose 1:17:57.560 --> 1:18:00.640 in my life. And so I've tried to move some 1:18:00.720 --> 1:18:03.160 stuff aside and say no to stuff and do less, 1:18:04.000 --> 1:18:07.080 less projects, bigger ones, And I hope this podcast turns 1:18:07.120 --> 1:18:09.800 into a big thing That's why I'm hearing Amy quite 1:18:09.840 --> 1:18:11.880 often tart like investing in it because I want this 1:18:12.040 --> 1:18:17.120 to be a powerful platform um and less decisions but bigger, 1:18:17.240 --> 1:18:22.840 more meaningful ones. Does that resonate at all? Yeah? Great, 1:18:24.960 --> 1:18:28.400 You're great bro. Now, mad I like the hell out 1:18:28.439 --> 1:18:31.760 of you. Do you like him? I mean you have 1:18:31.960 --> 1:18:34.040 to look at him? I mean you just got it. 1:18:34.520 --> 1:18:36.720 I feel I feel like you. I feel like you're 1:18:37.240 --> 1:18:41.840 I feel like you have so much figured out life wise. 1:18:42.040 --> 1:18:44.960 I feel like I feel like you're on a real 1:18:45.120 --> 1:18:50.920 path for true satisfaction in your life. It's unusual to 1:18:51.040 --> 1:18:54.719 see can you give me a thank you? I appreciate 1:18:54.800 --> 1:18:59.519 that You're very welcome. You won't make you wanted. I 1:18:59.720 --> 1:19:04.240 think Ryan did and clinch his teeth during that. So 1:19:04.360 --> 1:19:08.759 we're making progress. Jealous, could I ask you? Is because 1:19:09.040 --> 1:19:13.439 I'm very happy, I'm very fulfilled and like, I love 1:19:13.600 --> 1:19:16.000 my life. That being said, I love to learn and 1:19:16.080 --> 1:19:18.400 grow and challenge and there's so much that I don't know. 1:19:18.560 --> 1:19:22.400 But like what what specifically in my life in the 1:19:22.720 --> 1:19:24.760 time that we've known each other leads you to say 1:19:24.840 --> 1:19:31.000 that your openness to discuss your feelings. Is there a 1:19:31.120 --> 1:19:36.160 true rarity amongst men in my opinion, a lot of 1:19:36.320 --> 1:19:40.400 male friendships are much more on the surface. In my opinion, 1:19:41.040 --> 1:19:46.200 you know, it's not such an expose into someone's desired 1:19:46.320 --> 1:19:48.680 path in life. And and like to listen do you 1:19:48.840 --> 1:19:52.240 speak about and actually to listen to a lot of 1:19:52.240 --> 1:19:54.320 you guys speak about the things that you want to 1:19:54.400 --> 1:19:56.760 improve in your lives and admitting certain things better lives. 1:19:56.800 --> 1:19:59.280 I've never been around a group like this in my 1:19:59.360 --> 1:20:02.120 whole life where guys spoke like this to each other, 1:20:02.800 --> 1:20:06.080 you know, to just talk about the game, talk about 1:20:06.200 --> 1:20:10.360 the bar and uh, you know, talk about your your 1:20:10.680 --> 1:20:16.040 your crazy uh parts of your life. Never about the 1:20:16.520 --> 1:20:19.000 things you wanted to improve as much about your life 1:20:19.080 --> 1:20:21.280 and your dreams and things like that. And Sarah actually 1:20:21.600 --> 1:20:25.240 really refreshing appreciate it, man, I think it's honestly, I 1:20:25.320 --> 1:20:27.880 think it's because of one trade. I think I'm very 1:20:28.000 --> 1:20:32.240 curious why you're holding my hand. Before that was a 1:20:32.280 --> 1:20:35.680 pure lie. Don't lie to the people. But I think 1:20:35.720 --> 1:20:38.360 I'm very curious. I think I'm I think for me, 1:20:39.920 --> 1:20:45.240 personal development and personal growth have always been paramount. It's 1:20:45.320 --> 1:20:47.400 led me to chase my dreams, it's led me to 1:20:47.520 --> 1:20:50.679 try new opportunities like this, podcast. It leads to new friendships, 1:20:50.720 --> 1:20:55.240 it leads to uh, discovering so many new things. Uh. 1:20:55.520 --> 1:20:58.720 And I think I'm just I'm the same as you, Ryan. 1:20:58.840 --> 1:21:04.040 I'm absolutely curious of maximum potential. I love driving the 1:21:04.160 --> 1:21:06.760 tip of the sword, like what are humans capable of? 1:21:07.080 --> 1:21:09.680 I love that in athletics for myself, I also love it, 1:21:09.800 --> 1:21:12.599 and just in athletics in general, what's the human body 1:21:12.640 --> 1:21:17.880 capable for of? But also spiritually mentally, Um, how can 1:21:17.960 --> 1:21:20.519 we transcend time? Something I'm trying to do is to 1:21:20.640 --> 1:21:23.120 try and do in a week what others would do 1:21:23.200 --> 1:21:25.920 in a month, And so that's I can't. We can 1:21:25.960 --> 1:21:27.800 all only work so hard. So I need to apply 1:21:27.880 --> 1:21:31.479 intelligence in different ways. And um, I don't know. I'm 1:21:31.520 --> 1:21:35.160 just constantly a student of life. You are too. I 1:21:35.240 --> 1:21:37.360 love I love listening. I love I love our panel 1:21:37.400 --> 1:21:39.479 like I love listening to you guys. I come in here, 1:21:39.800 --> 1:21:41.519 and I've said it on many of the interviews. This 1:21:41.640 --> 1:21:44.200 is a sharing platform. But as much as it is sharing, 1:21:44.280 --> 1:21:47.320 I learned four times five times as much as I 1:21:47.400 --> 1:21:50.080 ever share in here. So this is coming into a 1:21:50.240 --> 1:21:54.479 classroom really a study of the world and interesting education. 1:21:54.560 --> 1:21:57.960 We have terrific guests like Shari that comes on for 1:21:58.160 --> 1:22:00.880 us to help us out. So for the listeners, I 1:22:00.960 --> 1:22:02.920 hope it's so we try and share what we can, 1:22:03.040 --> 1:22:05.200 but also for us, I mean thank you. It's a 1:22:05.320 --> 1:22:08.600 learning platform. You gentlemen opening up those are issues that 1:22:08.680 --> 1:22:11.639 are near and dear to your heart and sharing them 1:22:11.800 --> 1:22:16.280 vulnerably with our audience is incredible. Mmm. Um. For our listeners, 1:22:16.320 --> 1:22:18.800 where can because you are exceptional, you touched us all 1:22:18.840 --> 1:22:22.519 today street, where can they find you? Uh? Should anybody 1:22:22.840 --> 1:22:25.559 want to reach out to you? And they should? Where's 1:22:25.560 --> 1:22:27.760 the best place to contact you? Thank you? Guys. I 1:22:27.880 --> 1:22:29.960 just want to say the world needs more men like you. 1:22:30.720 --> 1:22:33.840 It's been such an honor to be with you all. Um. 1:22:34.400 --> 1:22:38.600 I'm at Shari Healy dot com. Yeah c H E 1:22:38.880 --> 1:22:41.640 R I E H E A L E Y and 1:22:42.000 --> 1:22:46.600 easily easily found on Instagram for the Luminaries The Luminaries 1:22:47.560 --> 1:22:51.840 Luminaries Instagram dot com. Yeah. Well, thank you so much 1:22:52.000 --> 1:22:54.120 for being here with us. And to put a bookend 1:22:54.280 --> 1:22:56.439 on a bow on this episode, we will be putting 1:22:56.479 --> 1:22:58.920 a picture of Rick and a speedo up on a 1:22:59.760 --> 1:23:04.360 Man Think podcast on Instagram and that and that is 1:23:04.439 --> 1:23:11.400 our definition of success. That's it for this episode group 1:23:11.520 --> 1:23:14.439 therapy around one. I'm sure we're gonna do more of those. Uh. 1:23:14.600 --> 1:23:15.960 That was a lot of fun though. Thank you guys 1:23:16.000 --> 1:23:18.400 for listening. As always, if you have any questions or comments, 1:23:19.000 --> 1:23:21.759 reach out to us please and take care of one another. 1:23:22.080 --> 1:23:24.760 This is for you, Danielle. Love one another and we'll 1:23:24.760 --> 1:23:29.080 see you guys right here next week. Bang. Hey guys, 1:23:29.120 --> 1:23:31.240 it's Brooks and one last thing before we let you go. 1:23:31.520 --> 1:23:33.840 If you like today's episode, we would love to get 1:23:33.880 --> 1:23:36.000 a five star review from you on iTunes and if 1:23:36.040 --> 1:23:37.880 you could possibly share it with a friend, that would 1:23:37.880 --> 1:23:41.360 be amazing as well. We always look forward to your questions, comments, 1:23:41.479 --> 1:23:43.840 or insights, so you can send us an email at 1:23:43.920 --> 1:23:46.519 men at I heart radio dot com and also follow 1:23:46.560 --> 1:23:49.840 along with us on Instagram at how Men Think Podcast