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Speaker 1: This is like and Gavin and I heard radio podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, I like the energy. Gav. You threw a

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Speaker 1: curveball there to everybody. I appreciate it. My name is Brooks. Like,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show. This is how men think. That

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Speaker 1: beautiful voice you just heard there was the music superstar

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Speaker 1: Gavin DeGraw. Goot to see you man, Good to see you, buddy, accolades.

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Speaker 1: I feel good. I try and brag you up every day,

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Speaker 1: so you keep coming back. Man, it's working. I'm coming back.

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Speaker 1: I'm not even leaving. You're not leaving. Even put my

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Speaker 1: cot in here camping with our sponsor r E I.

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Speaker 1: I was just at r e I today. You want

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Speaker 1: me to pick you up a tent and please do.

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Speaker 1: Maybe some day, if we get you a check from

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Speaker 1: the show, that you might be able to get an

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Speaker 1: apartment here in town. I would love that you come

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Speaker 1: stay in our house for at the time. I'll stay

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Speaker 1: in your gym. He's just say in my gym, No,

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Speaker 1: I know you. That's the most active room in the house.

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Speaker 1: Don't say that. Could you put the weights down? Leave

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Speaker 1: them down? Brother. I always like seeing your smiling face,

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Speaker 1: So thank you for coming. Dmitri. How are you, buddy,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing well. You look well? Yeah, yeah, you look

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Speaker 1: like oh I do well? What do you mean? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I do? I mean oh, yoh, yeah, thank you. I'm

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Speaker 1: handing out the compliments. You compliment like nobody's business. And

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Speaker 1: I'll take it every day. I like it. I like

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Speaker 1: throwing it out there, like making people smile. Ryan, what's up, brother,

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Speaker 1: Good to be here. That's all you're that's all you're

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Speaker 1: hitting this with. I'm sharing a microphone right now, so

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Speaker 1: it's difficult. Oh he's Ryan's very upset here. Amy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we'll get me on to that. And I gotta say this.

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Speaker 1: Does does Rick not look tan? Rick looks exceptional to health?

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Speaker 1: He does. I've been in the sun for fourteen straight days. Now, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what's the key? Brother? It was just a vitamin? Does vitamin?

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Speaker 1: You just kind of sit back on your chair and

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Speaker 1: your beach chair and wear your speedo and let the

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Speaker 1: sun kind of touchdown on your skin. Did I say speedo?

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Speaker 1: I just threw up in my mouth. I'm like, god,

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Speaker 1: letting the sun speed Oh yeah, you don't wear speedos? Holdo,

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Speaker 1: it's the best way to get the best. You want

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Speaker 1: me to show you my tan line. Yes, please, there

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Speaker 1: it is. That's hot. Great, So hold on, I just

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Speaker 1: threw up in Gavin's mouth, Rick, true question. Do you

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Speaker 1: wear a speedo? I wear a speedo? There you have

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Speaker 1: a guy forgot he played water polo. That's probably where

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Speaker 1: it came. But I don't know if he's just like

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Speaker 1: shorts now or are you still going like a pool?

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Speaker 1: You know with with the family, I may wear some

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Speaker 1: board shorts. Why did you want to stinger quotes on pool?

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Speaker 1: Is this a pool or not air quotes or when

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Speaker 1: it's not really what it's supposed to be. So you

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Speaker 1: said pool, I don't know what that means. We did

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Speaker 1: go to Europe and we went to a pool air

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Speaker 1: quotes and I sported the speed of the entire time

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Speaker 1: and I was proud, awesome, full euro Yeah, good for you.

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Speaker 1: I have respect for that man having super uncomfortable right now.

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Speaker 1: I believe that's jealousy of Rick. It is. Your comfort

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Speaker 1: level is off the chart. Well let's get to it here, gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: We have a super I'm super excited for today. We

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Speaker 1: have an incredible guest that we want to welcome to

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Speaker 1: the show. Her name is Sharie Heally. So today's episode

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Speaker 1: is group therapy, and Sharie is a life coach. She's

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Speaker 1: gonna help us through. We've all had conversations with her.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to introduce you to our audience right now.

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Speaker 1: You will describe yourself as a possibilitarian? Am I saying that? Correct?

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Speaker 1: I love that. That's the first time I've ever heard

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Speaker 1: that word. So I love that. She is a possiblitarian. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Been in the industry for twenty years. Her number one strategy.

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Speaker 1: I love this part about your bio. Number one strategy

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Speaker 1: is pure joy, absolutely lovely. I'm sure you're gonna yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's a secret to our true potential in every life

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Speaker 1: area of life. Does one on one coaching workshop speaking.

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Speaker 1: I could read this for days as hold on Google.

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Speaker 1: We'll get to that Google X, Genitech, Nike, YouTube, Apple,

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Speaker 1: Go Daddy, you name it. She's worked with them. Um,

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show, Charie. Thank you for your time

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Speaker 1: for being here. Uh and can you elaborate? Is there

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Speaker 1: anything I missed in that bio? Oh? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Ah Man, I'm here to cause an epidemic of joy.

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Speaker 1: I love it. That's it. She's just a ray sun China.

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Speaker 1: I used to apologize for that. It used to be

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Speaker 1: that I'd go and I'd give you know, talks and keynotes,

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Speaker 1: and that was like the message on slide fifty six.

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Speaker 1: And I'm just not about apologizing anymore. Don't realize it's

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Speaker 1: like the number one business strategy, it's the number one

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Speaker 1: strategy for relationships. It's everything, it's what we all want.

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Speaker 1: So can you give us a little background to your

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Speaker 1: history in this space? How did you get started? What

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Speaker 1: was your motive to start? But first off, how long

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Speaker 1: have you been in it? And how did you get

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Speaker 1: your start? Oh? Yeah, it's a great question. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to do it when I got out of college. I

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Speaker 1: was just twenty three and life coaching had become a thing,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh man, I studied like psychology

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Speaker 1: and communications and all this signed me up. And then

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Speaker 1: I started training and I thought, who's going to listen

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Speaker 1: to a year old barely started living. So I gave

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Speaker 1: myself some more study time. And I remember working in

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Speaker 1: l A, actually staring out at the ocean and a

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Speaker 1: board meeting, and I kept hearing the word bottom line,

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Speaker 1: bottom line, and then it sort of dawned on me

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Speaker 1: that this was not my bottom line. It wasn't It

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Speaker 1: wasn't mine. My bottom line is to figure out how

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Speaker 1: to get people out of bed and do what they're

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Speaker 1: here to do. I enjoy the ride. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love that you said you help leaders get what

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Speaker 1: they want so they can change the world. But really

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Speaker 1: that can be anybody. Everybody's a leader. Uh. And to

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Speaker 1: discover our true potential in every area of life. So

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Speaker 1: have you had? That was a pivotal moment for you.

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Speaker 1: And then you sort of made a personal switch as well,

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Speaker 1: and also made a professional switch. Yea. Yeah. Then I

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Speaker 1: finally gave myself permission, like I got the permission slip

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Speaker 1: to go for it, because I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: old enough, you know, and it was time. And I

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Speaker 1: think we've all talked already. And I know you all

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Speaker 1: want something to all of our listeners want something, and

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Speaker 1: at a certain point in life that want just becomes

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Speaker 1: almost unbearable. You have to get it. And so I

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Speaker 1: made the leap and and left the whole corporate scene.

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Speaker 1: And I think that helps now because I was in

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Speaker 1: the hairball of the corporate scene and I can I

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Speaker 1: can talk to my clients about it. I know what

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Speaker 1: they're in But yeah, I feel like I'd been given

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Speaker 1: so much. I learned so much from many great teachers.

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Speaker 1: And there's an old saying that information that goes unshared

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Speaker 1: becomes a burden. Yeah, beautiful. So I felt like I

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Speaker 1: had to give. It was my turn, and that's actually yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think it's a calling. My tagline is

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Speaker 1: bring it. The world needs you, and and on social

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Speaker 1: like I founded the Luminaries because I believe we all

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Speaker 1: are luminaries. We all have a g to give that

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Speaker 1: if not shared, is lost to the world forever. What

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Speaker 1: a superpower? Superpower? Can I ask you a question? What

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Speaker 1: is your favorite part about being a life coach? The

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Speaker 1: thing that just brings you the most joy. It is

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Speaker 1: the same thing that I said to Sister Maureen in

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Speaker 1: fourth grade when I was asked to make a list

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Speaker 1: of my favorite things, and everybody else said like ice

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Speaker 1: cream and like tahoe and stuff like that, and mine

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Speaker 1: was good talks. Wow, you came to the right place.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so happy, like this is sitting here

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Speaker 1: with you guys having good talks. It's like, what would

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Speaker 1: cream and tahoe stop? We're going to Amy's. So let's

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Speaker 1: do some group therapy. So for our audience listening today.

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Speaker 1: We have all had one on one conversations with Shari

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Speaker 1: on the phone prior to this conversation, and every guy

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Speaker 1: has something that they want to work through in their life.

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Speaker 1: We touched on on the very first episode of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: what's something you're desperate to change? And now we've discuss

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Speaker 1: something with each personally with Sharie that we are wanting

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Speaker 1: to change in our life. And full disclosure, we've each

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Speaker 1: uh said that it's okay for her to open up

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Speaker 1: about our private discussion so that we can all try

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Speaker 1: and grow and help each other move through these issues

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Speaker 1: that we're each individually facing. So I'll leave it up

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Speaker 1: to you, Shari, You and Dmitri had a conversation. Uh,

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Speaker 1: do you want to elaborate on what that conversation. I'll

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Speaker 1: give you listeners kind of the outline of what we

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Speaker 1: talked about, and then Dmitri and I are going to

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Speaker 1: go after it. Okay, bring it the world needs, Yes,

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Speaker 1: bring it, the world needs. So Dmitri's um and and

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Speaker 1: this isn't the framework of everything that we're that we

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Speaker 1: do in these sessions, right, It's there's something that you

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Speaker 1: want and I'm here to help you get it right

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Speaker 1: and here to help you enjoy the ride in getting it.

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Speaker 1: So you talked about how you have a deep awareness

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Speaker 1: that life is short and you want to enjoy it,

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Speaker 1: and because of that awareness, it actually robs you of

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Speaker 1: the enjoyment at times, because you'll be, for instance, on vacation,

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Speaker 1: your favorite place to be on a beach with music

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Speaker 1: and tropical cocktails, drink during the day, right, and then

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Speaker 1: instantly that awareness kicks in and you're thinking about it

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Speaker 1: being over. It's going to end soon, and then you

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Speaker 1: can't be present to it anymore. And so we were

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Speaker 1: sort of we paused at that moment. I said, all right,

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Speaker 1: when I see you again, we're going to try to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to create that presence in you. Or

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Speaker 1: you would ask like, how do I deal with the thoughts?

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Speaker 1: Because the awareness is both the curse and the gift.

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Speaker 1: I agree with that. Yeah, can I can I ask

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Speaker 1: you a question like, let's say if you because we

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Speaker 1: all get your group texts we're doing something during Dame,

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Speaker 1: we get you with a little tail on the dock

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Speaker 1: or on the beach, and it frustrates the rest of

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Speaker 1: us are jealous of the life you live that every day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yes. But my question to you is, if you

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Speaker 1: go on a week long vacation, how early on into

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Speaker 1: that vacation will that mindset start to dominate or to

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Speaker 1: come up. I'm good for for the first few days, basically,

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Speaker 1: if it's a week's vacation. So I was just on

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Speaker 1: a vacation recently. We got there on a Saturday, So

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Speaker 1: by Tuesday ish, I was thinking, okay, tomorrow's Wednesday. And

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Speaker 1: then it's like then, you know, then we're rolling towards

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Speaker 1: the end, and so I start thinking all right, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm and I still have fun, but in my

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Speaker 1: head it's like, okay, well, you know, three more days,

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Speaker 1: two more days, Tomorrow's the last night, and it's like

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Speaker 1: and then I have to kick into a mode where

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, what's the next thing that you

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Speaker 1: know that that's exciting, because you know, life is hectic

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Speaker 1: and it's like you come back from vacation, you gotta work,

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Speaker 1: the kids go to school or whatever, and and even

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Speaker 1: though you have moments in those days that are fun,

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Speaker 1: you know everything you're being pulled in all different directions.

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Speaker 1: So it's very hard to get that same feeling that

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Speaker 1: you have when you're just away somewhere. So yes, I

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Speaker 1: you know, around the middle, I started thinking and then

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Speaker 1: it's like a clock in my head and I still

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Speaker 1: have fun on those last days. But I'm well aware

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Speaker 1: that it's But can I just ask, uh, is it?

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Speaker 1: Is it sort of like these are the last days

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Speaker 1: of my vacation, or these are the last couple of

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Speaker 1: days of my vacation, and I'm getting older, and well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how many more of these are going

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Speaker 1: to be and we're all gonna die and all this

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Speaker 1: kind of staff for Is it just like I just

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Speaker 1: have a couple of days left vacation. Can I still

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Speaker 1: enjoy the rest of the vacation. No, it's that I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't have an impending thought of doom or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. I don't think like my life is shorter.

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Speaker 1: And thanks for pointing out that I'm getting old, that

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Speaker 1: I should start thinking about that. Um, I don't start thinking.

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Speaker 1: I don't think about myself being old. I don't think

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Speaker 1: the end of the world. I don't think of anything

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Speaker 1: like that. So it's a good question. But no, it's

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Speaker 1: just it's simply just this is such a nice time,

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Speaker 1: and I even look even this podcast, I look forward

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Speaker 1: to this. We're having a great time, and in my head,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, we probably got like an hour left. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I kind of feel the same way almost when

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Speaker 1: you go on vacation on the second or third day,

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Speaker 1: you have so much time you like, I don't really

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Speaker 1: when I go that happens to me. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do. Like every day we're so programmed, like Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go work out, I'm gonna go to the office,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go home and we're gonna make dinner

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Speaker 1: and go to baseball practice or whatever. Like everything is

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Speaker 1: so kind of scheduled and plan where it's like when

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Speaker 1: I do get free time, even if I'm at home

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Speaker 1: or not on vacation, I'm like, huh, what what should

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Speaker 1: I do? Like I guess I'll go clean the garage

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Speaker 1: or you know, And that I feel that way on

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Speaker 1: vacation as well, where I'm like what's next. Like to me,

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Speaker 1: it's almost the travel aspect of it is the fun part,

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Speaker 1: and then when you get to go where you're doing

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Speaker 1: nothing is the like the depressing part, which is this

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Speaker 1: part you should be enjoying. The only difference between you

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Speaker 1: and me is you do that and no speedo in

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Speaker 1: his jeans. It is it to treat just vacations that

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Speaker 1: you feel this way, or is it other aspects of

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Speaker 1: your life that you're also counting down the days or

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Speaker 1: wondering how much more of this you have left? And

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Speaker 1: the reason I ask is as that was being described,

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Speaker 1: I could not agree more with that whole mindset. And

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you this. The best day of the year

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Speaker 1: for me is Christmas Day. I love Christmas more than anything.

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Speaker 1: The worst day of the year as Christmas because when

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Speaker 1: Christmas morning comes, I say, and I this happens every year,

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Speaker 1: Like I do not want to open all the presents

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Speaker 1: first thing in the morning because it's over now and

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Speaker 1: I have to wait an entire year until Christmas yet,

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Speaker 1: so I want to just do like one and then

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Speaker 1: let's have breakfast. Or if my wife's like, okay, you open,

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Speaker 1: like you have more left, and like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: why don't you open because I want that pile to remain,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want Christmas to be over summertime like

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Speaker 1: putting off or maybe you know I have September November

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Speaker 1: in the last decade and I'm just I do like

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Speaker 1: I scroll them away and you budget your presence. If

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Speaker 1: are my love language, how many how many you have

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Speaker 1: at your house? Affect other aspects of your life. To

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Speaker 1: Christmas is as a prime example. I love the lead

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Speaker 1: up to Christmas. The you know, there's just decorations everywhere,

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Speaker 1: there's music, the Christmas you know, the whole thing. And

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Speaker 1: then yeah, but when that Christmas Day comes, like I

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Speaker 1: look forward to Christmas, and then it's like, oh, it's Christmas.

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Speaker 1: It's now, Now, it's done. Now we get three. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys heard what Gavin said

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Speaker 1: when you were laughing, because he said, that's so sweet.

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Speaker 1: And this is something that's really true that I learned

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Speaker 1: from all of you and and continue to with every

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Speaker 1: man I've ever worked with, is there's always a good reason, right.

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Speaker 1: What do we talk about, Brooks, The truth, the truth

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Speaker 1: behind the behavior. So while you're stressing, worrying, can't enjoy Christmas,

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Speaker 1: you know you all want to slow down. You said

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Speaker 1: it on another call to what you desperate to change

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Speaker 1: is that you want to be able to slow down

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Speaker 1: and enjoy life. And so it's a struggle because you

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Speaker 1: all have so much to give. You want to you

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Speaker 1: want to I think ultimately, Dmitri, you want to enjoy,

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Speaker 1: you know, and ultimately Rick wants to find happiness and comfort.

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Speaker 1: And Ryan you talked about wanting to reach full potential,

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Speaker 1: chasing potential. There's so much to do and there's so

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Speaker 1: much to go, give and get. You know that it's

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Speaker 1: it seems to be in conflict with the slowing down

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Speaker 1: and enjoying. But like I said before, joy is the

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Speaker 1: ultimate strategy. It's what we're here for, and you're already

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Speaker 1: a very good practitioner of it, Dmitri. So my goal

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Speaker 1: with you would be to talk about how to cultivate

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Speaker 1: more presents so that you can really get it when

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Speaker 1: it's there for you, you know. Yeah, can you elaborate?

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Speaker 1: Is there any like, is there any because for people

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Speaker 1: listening that can that this resonates with? Is there any

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Speaker 1: actionable items or specific tactics or tools that you could share.

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Speaker 1: But I'm all about the you know, the practical ways.

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Speaker 1: So so you had said, Dmitri that there was a

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Speaker 1: worry in you that once the good time was over,

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Speaker 1: you were sort of like looking at your watch for

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Speaker 1: when's the next time. Like we'll take the vacation as

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Speaker 1: an example. That third day in you're already thinking about

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Speaker 1: when's my next one, you know, and is that usually

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Speaker 1: months away? Yeah? I mean yeah, I mean summertime. There's

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Speaker 1: a few more so summertimes basically the Christmas book end

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Speaker 1: on the other side, So there are there are some,

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Speaker 1: but it's yeah, it's it's usually a few months away,

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Speaker 1: or you know, something to that effect. Yeah. So the

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Speaker 1: practices is finding that beach mindset with even a non

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Speaker 1: alcoholic or a real alcoholic cogtail in the moment to moment,

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Speaker 1: you know, not thinking that it's only going to come

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Speaker 1: a few times a year. I mean, that's always an option.

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Speaker 1: You are free, it's a out. It's about slowing down

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Speaker 1: in the body, in in vacation and being fully present

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Speaker 1: to vacation, which is the easiest, but the hardest is

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Speaker 1: when you're not on vacation and cultivating the vacation mindset

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Speaker 1: moment by moment. So like right now, you just said

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Speaker 1: that you're in the podcast, but you're thinking it's going

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Speaker 1: to be over soon and we're also having a great time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and not in a completely in the depressed way like

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Speaker 1: oh my god, it doesn't consume me, but in my head,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, I know this is and and

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Speaker 1: maybe that's a defense mechanism. Maybe I know you know

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Speaker 1: this way. I don't get super hurt if I know

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Speaker 1: that that things come to an end. Does it rob

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Speaker 1: you of any does it rob you of any joy

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Speaker 1: in the moment or is it just a thought that's present. No,

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Speaker 1: it's mainly just a thought this present. I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: can't have that pop into your head knowing that there's

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Speaker 1: an end to something you're enjoying without it having some

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Speaker 1: sort of effect. But um, but it doesn't rob me

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Speaker 1: of the joy. I still have a great time. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you nailed the tool. Though. Both of you are talking

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Speaker 1: about being in your head, and your question to me

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Speaker 1: when we talked was what do I do with the thoughts?

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Speaker 1: And it's all about getting down into the body. It's

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Speaker 1: about like taking an elevator from the head down to

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Speaker 1: the heart or down to the body. And I mean

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Speaker 1: we could all practice that. We've probably all felt this,

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Speaker 1: like at the gym or at working out or yoga,

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Speaker 1: when you have to ground down and get into your

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Speaker 1: skin so you can actually be present. Where where do

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Speaker 1: you feel that the most? When you can really be present,

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Speaker 1: when you're just you're not up here in your head. Um,

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Speaker 1: you mean like a specific situation. Well, yeah, where I'm

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Speaker 1: sure there are areas in your life where time sort

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Speaker 1: of stops and you experience that presence. It's really sitting

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Speaker 1: or sitting around. It's funny that we're doing this now,

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Speaker 1: but it's sitting around with a group of people, could

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Speaker 1: be family, could be you know, these guys here are

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Speaker 1: with And when you're just sitting around and you're talking,

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Speaker 1: you're laughing, that's the time I don't think about anything.

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Speaker 1: The sarcastic comments fly. Just we're just having fun and

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Speaker 1: there's no you're not because you're not thinking about you're

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Speaker 1: not worried about anything. It's just this is this is

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Speaker 1: a fun moment. And that's why, you know, you bring

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Speaker 1: up Maybe you're sitting around, you know, and you're having

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Speaker 1: a you're having a drink or whatever and laughing, and

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Speaker 1: really that's the sweet spot for me because it's like

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Speaker 1: and and again, it doesn't matter. It's not specific. It's

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Speaker 1: not my always, my family is not always my friends.

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Speaker 1: It's not like there's a certain group that dominates that.

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Speaker 1: But it's it's that just you know, and it's probably

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Speaker 1: if I were to try and analyze it, which not

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Speaker 1: my job to do, I guess, but it's it's probably

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Speaker 1: shrugging off the stresses of life and it's just like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is the moment. We're just laughing and having a

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Speaker 1: good time. Yeah, there's a part of you that's settled

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Speaker 1: enough that you allowed yourself to just get out of

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Speaker 1: the head and be you know what I think it is.

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Speaker 1: It might be that possibly that you're sort of decompressing

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Speaker 1: and checking out from some of the everyday stresses, which

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Speaker 1: you've talked about openly on the podcast before. But I

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Speaker 1: also think it's like getting to know you men, you

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Speaker 1: have a massive heart, and it's apparent how much you

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Speaker 1: love your family and your kids and value that quality

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Speaker 1: time with them. You always speak like it's beautiful to

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Speaker 1: watch you speak about your family, and so part of

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Speaker 1: that might just be the sadness like, oh, I want

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Speaker 1: this to last forever, and I know that it's I

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Speaker 1: only have three more days of it, you know, like

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Speaker 1: it's just your you have so much joy doing that

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Speaker 1: with your family or doing it, Like we see how

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Speaker 1: much joy you have on this podcast that it's you

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Speaker 1: want to keep it. We all want to keep these things.

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Speaker 1: It's funny you say that. When I was little, we

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Speaker 1: were getting a dog, a family dog, and they asked me,

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Speaker 1: my parents asked me what dog I wanted and I

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Speaker 1: said I wanted a puppy that wasn't going to grow

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Speaker 1: up that was And they're like, well that doesn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well there goes that. That isn't

401
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Speaker 1: that That's the truth behind the behavior. Like, that's what

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Speaker 1: we're trying to find out is men have behavior like

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Speaker 1: yours is a behavior out of love. You want these

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Speaker 1: times with special people to be everlasting. So it's not

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Speaker 1: an issue. It's not a flaw, it's not a you know,

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Speaker 1: it's and I think as we get into the Ryan's

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Speaker 1: and ricks and the rest of us our issues, it's

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Speaker 1: these are great men have issues out of love. Um

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Speaker 1: I agree. So giants to wrap this up, uh sharid.

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Speaker 1: So lastly, like, what does Dmitri do to overcome this

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Speaker 1: so he can be more present and have the most

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Speaker 1: joyous experience and then leave there in peace. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna give you two things because your gift is awareness.

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Speaker 1: That's what we talked about. If you could give a

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Speaker 1: gift of a lifetime of one thing to your family,

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Speaker 1: to the people you love the most. You set awareness,

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Speaker 1: so let's use that. That's your highest value. So expand

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Speaker 1: your awareness. I asked you to get down into your

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Speaker 1: body right and slow down, because the only way to

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Speaker 1: manufacture time, which is what you're asking for, or to

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Speaker 1: stretch time, is presence. So that requires actually slowing down,

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Speaker 1: and that starts in the body. So it's hurt, you know,

423
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 1: just putting on the brakes and allowing yourself to just

424
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 1: be here right now. And I think we can all

425
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,360
Speaker 1: feel ourselves get to heavy in our chair, shoulders, come down,

426
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: deep breath, just be in your heart exactly like Brooks said,

427
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: that's who you are, and then expand your awareness three

428
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: sixty Like you're already doing that, but you're in the future.

429
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: So try expanding the awareness in the present, like so

430
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: that you can feel the air, you know, it's warm out,

431
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: it's summer. You can taste the drink fully like it's sensual.

432
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 1: You can listen to your kids laughter like you're so

433
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: in it. It's full on, three D, full color. Every

434
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: single one year sense is taking it in because a

435
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 1: lot of time it's just the brain and that's not

436
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 1: even a sense. It's like it's just the brain going,

437
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: you know. So that's the hack to get out of

438
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: the head. But then there's one more thing, that part

439
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: of you that says, oh, man, I don't want the

440
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 1: puppy to grow up. I don't want the boat ride

441
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: to end. How old is that part of you? That voice?

442
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: M hm um. I don't know. I mean, um, it's

443
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 1: a distinct part of your sonality. Because we're made up

444
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: of all these different parts. I'm guessing that that part

445
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: is a little young. Yeah, it is when I was

446
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: a kid, Yeah for sure. Yeah. So what would you

447
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: tell your kids if they were like, DoD oh my god,

448
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 1: you know, it's almost over. You have to talk to

449
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: that part of yourself like you would to your kids.

450
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: I bet you'd tell them something amazing. You're right, man,

451
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: sucks kid. Can I just add one thing, So, when

452
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: you're on the vacation, do you kind of sit back

453
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 1: and let your kids go do their own things, or

454
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: do you engage with the kids on whatever activities or

455
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: your wife for say, or whatever. Like I was just

456
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: on a on a baseball vacation trip last week and

457
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: my daughter was the only one that was staying in

458
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: all the house with the other families and so there

459
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: are no other little kids around. So like, what really

460
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: got to me was engaging with her and doing actual

461
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: things with her during that time frame, Like I mean,

462
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: obviously you're you're not killing time, but you're kind of

463
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: like so we went and got to be begun, We

464
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 1: went and got fireworks, we went and made a fire,

465
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: you know. And it was to me it was that self.

466
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: It fulfilled so much just having that. Yeah, it was

467
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: one on one, but it was also just doing activities

468
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: with her and not being like, oh, I'm gonna get

469
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: to do the barbecue and sit on my phone and

470
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: do whatever. Um, and that really helps me. Now that's true.

471
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: I'm and I'm definitely in it for the same reason

472
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: like not to speak in such weird things, but the

473
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: same reason I want the poppy that won't grow up.

474
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 1: I want to play with it. So when I go

475
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: on vacation and I'm definitely in I play with the

476
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: kids and I do this. It's not I'm not one

477
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: of those guys like go do your thing and I'm

478
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: just gonna sit here in a lawn chair and drink

479
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: a beer. When you're when you're when you're performing the

480
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 1: activities with your kids. You know you're jumping in doing

481
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,959
Speaker 1: these things with the kids. Are you thinking to yourself,

482
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: are you thinking, I'm having this is a great time,

483
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: I'm in this, I'm having this activity. Or are you

484
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 1: think I'm making great memories? I'm making great memories. I'm

485
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: making great memories. You know, no, because I actually I don't.

486
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: I don't care. So I mean, for the kids, the

487
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: memories are important. I don't care so much about making

488
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: memories for me because the same reason when I got married,

489
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: I told my mom she wasn't allowed to bring a

490
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 1: camera to the wedding because I was so I was like,

491
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: what you're gonna do is you're gonna sit there. I

492
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 1: know you're gonna sit there and take pictures and and

493
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I can't wait to see this picture,

494
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: and this is gonna great, and you're gonna miss what's

495
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: happening at the wedding. So I said, we have a photographer.

496
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: They're gonna take pictures. You can look at them all.

497
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 1: I said, but you cannot bring a camera because I

498
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: don't want you to miss things by taking So I'm

499
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: not about you know, I'm not I'm definitely not thinking

500
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: about memories about making them like, no, this is great.

501
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: Everybody sees this on Instagram being the kids on the beach.

502
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: So your mom stood by the corner and brought a

503
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: paintbrushing and easel and paint, did the whole wedding just

504
00:25:49,920 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: as Okay, it looks terrible, by the way. Sorry to

505
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: wrap up with you, Dmitri Is. I want you to

506
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 1: raise the bar on your own awareness. Dive in even deeper,

507
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: more fully, feel even more joy when you're in it,

508
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: because it'll make it last longer. And I'm going to

509
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: remind you of your mantra, the thing that's going on

510
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: in your brain all the time anyway, when you ask yourself,

511
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: what's my end game and what is your end game?

512
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: My end game is you would just enjoy life exactly,

513
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: So dive in more fully. And that little voice in you,

514
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 1: the little boy that shows up and says, but it's

515
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 1: going to end soon, just tell them, tell him to

516
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: go have a cocktail memories from life. I appreciate that.

517
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: I think that that does make a lot of sense,

518
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: and that is something that I probably haven't processed obviously haven't,

519
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: but it seems like a relatively simple jumping off point,

520
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: and I could see how that would work, and I'll

521
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 1: definitely definitely try that more Brown. Thank you for sharing.

522
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: We appreciate it. We're gonna go to break. When we

523
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 1: get back, we are going to go to Ryan. Back

524
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: from break. This is Brooks like and how men thinking.

525
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: We have Sharie Healy with us. We're doing group therapy today.

526
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 1: Thank you Dmitri for being the sacrificial lamb to go

527
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 1: first and heiled it. And now we're onto my dear

528
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 1: friend Ryan. You were in the hot seat, my man,

529
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: So Shari take it away Ryan's face. I wish you

530
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: could see. Let's just get this over. When is this

531
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 1: going to end? Okay, maybe it's time Brooks that we

532
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: tell them how I see men so that Ryan can

533
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: relax a little bit. Yeah, on our conversation, you just

534
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: spoke beautifully about man and it was you got into

535
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: this work. I believe to help serve women and really

536
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: learned a lesson yourself about men. Correct. Yeah, I mean

537
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: I originally started this because I felt like I could

538
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: change the world, since I believe that we all have

539
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: a gift to give that my gift would be that

540
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: if I could make every woman happy, then I would

541
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: make all the men into ldren happy. By default. So

542
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: I started there. But then I, in working with women,

543
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: needed to really and for myself to get to a

544
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: place where I felt like I could more understand men.

545
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: I had had a really long history of bad relationships

546
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: and and I thought, there's no way guys are bad.

547
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: It's there's something more for me to learn here. So

548
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: I think through a lot of study of you, guys,

549
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: I learned that men are spectacular and that you really

550
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: truly are here for the highest reasons. I think I've

551
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: never met a man who cares about his partner who

552
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: doesn't want her to be happy. You have tons to give,

553
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 1: and I think it's almost overwhelming when you can't find

554
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: a way to give what you want to give, and

555
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: you try so damn hard and you're just trying to

556
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: do it right. And I don't know that we as

557
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: women always make it very easy. We have a lot

558
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: of feedback for you so well. I appreciate it, very

559
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: kind words. And for the listeners. I want everyone to

560
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: realize that when Saris said that men are spectacular, she

561
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: was looking directly in my eyes. I was so with

562
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: that said, I know that, um, what you're cooking right now?

563
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 1: We have an ammy in the in the room who

564
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: has very strong feelings about your challenge. So I'm going

565
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: to lay it down and then probably Emmy will want

566
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: to jump right in. Um, you have a habit behind me.

567
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: You have a habit of worrying, correct I do. I

568
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: I stress about certain things. Yes, for the very good reason,

569
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: because I believe there's always a good reason for our behavior.

570
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: That you are chasing potential. You want to reach your

571
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: highest potential. You think that it would tragic for anyone

572
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: to not really reach the limits of their human potential.

573
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: And you and I talked about how there is no

574
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: zenith of perfection. There's no moment at which you arrive

575
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: really until you declare you're enough, until you declare that

576
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: moment right, because there's always more. We talked about great

577
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: beings who look like they've checked all the boxes, who

578
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: would tell us, no way, there's still so much more.

579
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 1: So when we talked about the worry and I asked

580
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: you what it costs you or if you enjoy it,

581
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 1: you said, well, I don't know that I would give

582
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: it up because it's a means to an end. I

583
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: think it's who I am, and it's what's going to

584
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: help me reach my potential. Yeah, I believe in many

585
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: ways stress is a necessary evil on the path to success.

586
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: That's the most concise way I can put it that

587
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: if you're not stressed, you are therefore complacent, and there

588
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: is nothing worse than complacency, because if you're complacent, you'll

589
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: never achieve What is achieving it is to find it's

590
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: it's an individual thing. Your definition of achievement could be

591
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: different than mine, and that's fine. It could be financial,

592
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: it could be personal goals, whatever it may be. I

593
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 1: think a little stress, and I understand it. It's all

594
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: relative and there's a happy medium there because stress can

595
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: also be crippling and and the abilitating. But like I

596
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 1: think a certain level of stress, if it is driving

597
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: you and and allowing you to push yourself to an

598
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: uncomfortable level and then achieve things that you otherwise wouldn't,

599
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: then it's a good thing. And I would argue stress

600
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: in that case is is allowing you to realize potential

601
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: you otherwise would not be able to realize. Is it

602
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: stress or is it motivation? Like where we talking about?

603
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: Like is this stress or are you just an uber

604
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: motivated guy? Like the verbiage I think for our listeners

605
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,360
Speaker 1: is very important. Question is one of the more astute

606
00:31:53,440 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: questions for you just blew your mind peanuts. Is it

607
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: stress or is it motivation? Because I think motivation is

608
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: a powerful thing man, But stressed to me seems like

609
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: a Brooks is nailing this because it is motivation that

610
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: I would love for you all to have. But Ryan

611
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: turns it to stress and worry, and then he thinks

612
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: it's productive, and I think it's counterproductive. I see, I

613
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: see the two their synonyms. Like, well to what I said,

614
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 1: what so what is your end game? Your endgame is

615
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: to constantly be stressed in trying to hit this ultimate thing?

616
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: What's the ultimate thing? Are you just gonna keep chasing

617
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: be stressed and keep chasing greater stuff until it's a

618
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: it's a fair question. I think you want to look

619
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: back on your life when when you're on your deathbed

620
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: and say I accomplished everything I could have could have

621
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: accomplished with my God given abilities. With you know, I

622
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: I was able to accomplish the most that I possibly could.

623
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 1: So you're you're in a legacy search, is what you're

624
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: talking about. I don't want to look back and say

625
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: I could have done more or I did not realize

626
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: my potential where I underachieved. Here's the distinction though in

627
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: the motivation. There's joy in the worry no joy. And

628
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: I know on a previous podcast you said you wanted

629
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: to slow down and enjoy. You know, I think that

630
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: we talked about that being something that you wanted full potential,

631
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: but because it brings joy. Right. So the hack on

632
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: this one is they always say you can't go after

633
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: something like I want to be a millionaire. You know,

634
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: I want to because why because it'll give me freedom?

635
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: You know. Well, then you need to know freedom now.

636
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: You need to be able to experience the joy of

637
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: it now. So right at the end of your life,

638
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: are you gonna say, oh, I accomplished all my goals

639
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: or are you gonna say I had a really good time?

640
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: Well when you when you do Wold in that voice,

641
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm gonna say it, he said,

642
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 1: I wish I had a different voice. Well, where Amy

643
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,760
Speaker 1: needs to go is she needs to value your value.

644
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: This is your highest your highest pursuit is his achievement.

645
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: Amy doesn't share that in the same way. Question when

646
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 1: you die, you're going to be dead anyway, Just to

647
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 1: remind you you don't know what you accomplished, probably, but

648
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: are you do you want up that path for your

649
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: own satisfaction or for somebody else that you're leaving behind

650
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 1: to be like, Wow, my dad was the such and

651
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: such accomplish her. Yeah, I mean with with the success,

652
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: with the success I will have, I have will have

653
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: built a life that my family reap the benefits of.

654
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: With my hard work and with the stresses that I endured,

655
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: we all would have had a better life as a

656
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: result of it. That is the hope there. We just

657
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: got to the truth behind the behavior because you want

658
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: to give so much to your family. We talked about

659
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 1: you wanting to give your wife the ultimate life. Yes,

660
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: that's absolutely right. And I think there's a competitive element

661
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: to me, and it's it's just in my DNA that

662
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 1: I it's a zero sum game like I, if someone

663
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: else is winning, I'm losing. I need to I need

664
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: to be as good as I possibly possibly can be.

665
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,359
Speaker 1: I and I again, I don't understand why that can

666
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 1: be perceived as such a negative thing. To want to

667
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: realize potential and to not underachieve. What are you sacrificing?

668
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: Is there anything that's negative that's affecting you in that pursuit.

669
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: It's it's a good question, Kevin, I would say that.

670
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: When you will answer, I would say, I think about

671
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: because it's it's there are sacrifices that are made, but

672
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: there are sacrifices that you're making in the short term

673
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: so as to provide more benefits and a better life

674
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 1: in the long term. So you have to make these

675
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: sacrifices along the way so as to create some opportunities.

676
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: Are you trying to convince me or convince you when

677
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: you tell me that? I believe that, and no, like

678
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 1: Amy clearly doesn't believe that. That's fine because I know

679
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: you very well. So my thing is, I see how

680
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: you compare yourself to others, and if you don't achieve

681
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: what they have, you deem yourself a failure. And I

682
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: just disagree with that so much. Would you tell the

683
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: specific story, I'll tell you a couple of stories. The

684
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 1: first so the too. So we're just saying happy birthday

685
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 1: to Brooks. Brooks just turned thirty six. I am thirty six.

686
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 1: So in that moment, rather than celebrating Brooks is now

687
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: thirty six year on Earth, I thought to myself, Wow, Okay,

688
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: we're the same age. Brooks has made probably like thirty

689
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: million over his NHL contracts. We're the same and what

690
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: have I made? Like he were the same age? And

691
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 1: this guy who I love has made exponentially more money

692
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: than me and is so much more successful than me

693
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: from a monetary standpoint. God, man, that's longer than the

694
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: actual song Happy Birthday. Yeah it happened. That annoys me,

695
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 1: So I'm like, but do you think that attitude is

696
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: you said you want to give your your wife the

697
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: best life that she can possibly have. Is having that

698
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: attitude and that kind of negative competitiveness and that's stress

699
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: to be better? Is that giving her the better life now?

700
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: Or you're just waiting for the end and be like, Hey,

701
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: wasn't that a great life? That the thing would be?

702
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: If you would ask my wife, she would say she

703
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: doesn't care about money, al right, And I'm bringing this

704
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 1: on myself and I admit that, but like, yeah, I do. Again,

705
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,240
Speaker 1: it's not all about money. But but the Brooks example

706
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: is one that crossed my mind when he turned the

707
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: same age as me. And then I spent twenty minutes

708
00:37:53,360 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 1: on Google looking up all your salaries on Wikipedia, and

709
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: then when and then when you got injured, I wondered, like,

710
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 1: is it a guaranteed contract that in the NHL or

711
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: did he get paid out on guaranteed? So that's depressing.

712
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: I was hoping at least if you got injured, you

713
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: didn't get the full turn. If you want, we gotta

714
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: give this, sure you can you do. I I stand

715
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: strong on women do not do this. We do not

716
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 1: compare ourselves to other women and deem our value or

717
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: our success based on money. We I I stand strong

718
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,919
Speaker 1: on that somebody, another girlfriend of mine that has made

719
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 1: more money is in no way more successful than me,

720
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: or do I even think about it, because that's not

721
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 1: how we look at it. And Brooks is not the

722
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: richest thirty six year old. So when you get to

723
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,439
Speaker 1: that final thing, right before you're about to die, you're

724
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: going to look back and you're gonna say, are you

725
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: Are you gonna say, hey, that was a great life

726
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: I achieved all I can. Are you gonna say you

727
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: know what I could have done better? Because that's the

728
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: attitude you're taking through your entire life or on your death.

729
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: Better You're gonna go work is going to be strangling

730
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 1: me on my definitely thing yeah, tell me. Does do

731
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: your wife and kids ever say anything about your worry

732
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: about me? Yeah? My wife said, says often that I

733
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: am stressed, and how can she? She has asked me

734
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: in the last year two take on less professionally so

735
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: as to free up some brain space and bandwidth, to

736
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: just be more relaxed because it consumes me and so

737
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: but I refused to do that, and I doubled down

738
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: and say, like, I can handle it because I want

739
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: to just continue to go a hundred miles an hour.

740
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: And is your potential only a dollar number? Is there

741
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: another definition of potential? Look it makes when you, guys,

742
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: when we have this conversation, I am like in real

743
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: time thinking about how I'm being perceived in this conversation.

744
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 1: And yeah, it does seem as if I'm chasing the dollar,

745
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: and in some ways I am, and I think I

746
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 1: don't think I'm alone in that pursuit. Um. But yes.

747
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: The other example is my wife's father, My father in law,

748
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: was very very successful professionally, retired very very young. It

749
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: made a great living, and he he's an outlier. There

750
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: are very very few people that were would ever be

751
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,399
Speaker 1: able to have the success he had in the short

752
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: amount of time, and I think to myself, that is

753
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,399
Speaker 1: the bar that has been set. That my wife grew

754
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: up in a great family with a a father who

755
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: provided to an unbelievable level for the family, and they

756
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: were able to go on unbelievable trips and do things

757
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: that like very few families got to do. So in

758
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: my head, I say to myself, if I do not

759
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 1: provide at least the same childhood and lifestyle that my

760
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 1: I grew up with for her and my son, I

761
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 1: will have failed and that will be that will be

762
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: gut wrenching for me to feel as if I was

763
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: unable to provide the same quality of life that she

764
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 1: grew up with. Yeah, so there's the good reason there's

765
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: you are not being judged, certainly not by me or

766
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: probably a million listeners, because she is a little bit

767
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: because she wants you to be happy. There's a good

768
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 1: reason there too. I want to set up a go

769
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: fund before you. But yeah, but here's how we hack it.

770
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: So I want to give you, guys, each like a

771
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: tool to walk away with the the experiencing of potential

772
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: reached every day is what I want for you. That

773
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: that's going to be the hack that gets you to

774
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: enjoy the ride, because I don't want to take away

775
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 1: the dollar number. You should get it. Oh you had

776
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 1: to bleep me, sorry, you should. You should absolutely go

777
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: get it. But I think the quality of the getting

778
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 1: it is what we all want for you, and I

779
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: know you do too, and your wife does and your

780
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:03,720
Speaker 1: kids do. So the quality of enjoying the ride happens

781
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: by every night when you hit the pillow you check

782
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: off I reached my potential for today. That you have

783
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: some measure of the reaching of potential every single day,

784
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,399
Speaker 1: because like you and I talked there, every day you're alive,

785
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: there's going to be a higher bar for the next day.

786
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: So give yourself the credit for every single day at

787
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 1: least one one way in which you reach your potential.

788
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's countless. Yeah. Can I step in here

789
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:40,320
Speaker 1: for something? No, okay, keep counting your money. The easiest

790
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: way for me to be happy is if you just

791
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: open up your wallet and chot Right now, let me

792
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 1: let me say something from my own personal spirits because myself,

793
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: I think you guys in here, Demetri, you've opened up

794
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: about wanting to make more money. Um we I think

795
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 1: everybody listening to this. I think everybody wants to make

796
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: more money. The more money you have, the more you

797
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 1: can give and do with an effect and possibly influencing

798
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 1: people's lives. So, yeah, we want to make more money.

799
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: But being something I've been through personally Ryan is being

800
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: in a locker room. It's also you have to keep

801
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: in mind what's current. So I could sign a contract

802
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: some of the ones you looked at at and I

803
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: could be one of the top paid guys on the team,

804
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 1: and I feel amazing right, Like it's in order, I'm

805
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 1: one of the top dogs on the team getting compensated amazingly.

806
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: To three years go by, I'm still on that contract

807
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,959
Speaker 1: and somebody else signs a contract that's bigger than mine,

808
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: and even though I might play more minutes or have

809
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: more points or a bigger role, their compensation is higher

810
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: than mine. Now I had to learn how to deal

811
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: with that because I'm like, you're paying this guy that

812
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 1: I want mine torn up. I want to renegotiate. I want,

813
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, that's gonna rob

814
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 1: me of joy. And also why should I not be

815
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: so damn happy for that guy that he worked his

816
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: tail to earn that, you know, like because you're better

817
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 1: than him. But but I understand what you're saying. But yeah,

818
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying as well, because you're saying,

819
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: I play more minutes and I'm better than this guy,

820
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 1: yet he's getting paid more than me. That's not fair.

821
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 1: But also the landscape has changed since I signed a contract.

822
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: That so that that has changed, um and you knowingly

823
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: enter when you enter a long term contract, you know that.

824
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 1: But also I think it robs you. Like if you

825
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: have gratitude, if you appreciate that person and the joys

826
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 1: in their life, I think you can appreciate it more

827
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 1: in your life. Versus comparing and always trying to divide

828
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: yourself will put yourself on an island. But my question

829
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: for you is I I didn't achieve all the things

830
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to in my National Hockey League career. Far

831
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 1: from it, like a fraction of all the things I

832
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: wanted to achieve, didn't even make close to the amount

833
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: of money I wanted to make, did not win a

834
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 1: Stanley Cup, thousands of things I didn't achieve. But I

835
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 1: look back at my career and say, damn, did I

836
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 1: play my ass off? And was I out of every

837
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: single day? And so I don't have the achievements that

838
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: I want or everything that I wanted. But at the

839
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 1: end of my life, I want to look back and said,

840
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: I had so much damn fun every day and I

841
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: gave everything I had to it and the rest is

842
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: out of my control. Can I tell you how good

843
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 1: it made me feel when you were listing all the

844
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 1: things you didn't achieve that I told you. He's irritating.

845
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 1: So Gavin, I have a question for Gavin. Does a

846
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: hit song mean more to you than another song just

847
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 1: because that one became a hit and made you money

848
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: when a deep track might be a better song or

849
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: mean more to you, like what brings the fulfillment the well,

850
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: there's different, good question. I mean, there's different levels of

851
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: fulfillment for me. UM with different you know, with different

852
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 1: types of songs. There's there's gonna be material there that

853
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: that doesn't make you any money, you know, UM, at

854
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 1: least not directly. A lot of what we call B sides. UM,

855
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: there's records that are almost like entire B sides that

856
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: I've made, you know, or we just remember. After I

857
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 1: cut my second record, UM, I was disappointed in the

858
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 1: production that was overproduced for my taste, you know. And UM,

859
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: I didn't dislike the record. I just felt like it

860
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: was heavy handed production wise, and um, the and the

861
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: mix was over just things that were just designed to

862
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 1: make it sound a little bit too much in what

863
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 1: the marketplace was out at the time, you know, which

864
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: is very anti my my uh my mode as far

865
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 1: as being an artist is concerned. So within a few months,

866
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:48,800
Speaker 1: I cut another record, UM with completely different songs, just

867
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: because I wanted to make a record that was the

868
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: opposite of what was a commercial sounding record. UM. So

869
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 1: by doing that, I still had I still had hits

870
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 1: on the record that I had made UM that second record,

871
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:07,879
Speaker 1: but I got more more pleasure and more fulfillment from

872
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: the record that hardly sold anything that nobody marketed. And

873
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: on top of that, ironically, I got more longevity career

874
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 1: wise by making a record that was artistically admirable and

875
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: critically more impressive. UM And in my opinion, it prolonged

876
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 1: my career far longer than chasing uh uh pop success

877
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: could have. I mean, don't get me wrong, playing those

878
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: playing the hits at a show typically that's why why

879
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: fans come to hear the hits, you know. UM, But

880
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,919
Speaker 1: I but I don't think that. I don't think that's

881
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: my fan base. My fan base wants to hear good songwriting. Um.

882
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:53,919
Speaker 1: And so by making a record that wasn't necessarily quote

883
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 1: unquote hit oriented record that just really sounded authentic, that

884
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: gave me the time to another record that could just

885
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 1: satiated me and the quote unquote marketplace um musically. Um So, ultimately,

886
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: long term, the record that I made that I didn't

887
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 1: have any so called hits on it really did very

888
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: well for me and prolonged my career and actually made

889
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: me a lot of money over time, not in record sales,

890
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 1: but but but by elongating my my my life as

891
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: a as an artist. UM So, I do understand, but

892
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: so many versions of this, this argument and that you

893
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 1: want to be the best, and you want to maximize

894
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 1: your earning potential, you want to put in all the

895
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: time required. Personally, for me, I rarely ever thought to myself,

896
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: I need to practice. As an athlete, probably you feel

897
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,919
Speaker 1: more of that because you get to a certain level

898
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: and you either have to be the best or you're

899
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: not the best and you're not going to play. Or

900
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: of course there's then they apply the business element to that,

901
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: which is you may be better than someone else, but

902
00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: you're costing more money. They need to spread out the roster, right.

903
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: And the same thing happens musically in some ways where

904
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 1: someone may say, well, we invested X amount of dollars

905
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: in this artist, we need to recoup this money and

906
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: we have to do it let's say per artist basis, right,

907
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: So so they chase may chase some success in that regard.

908
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: I hear what what you're what you're saying regarding being

909
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: the best because as an artist, for me personally, I

910
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: never really thought to myself, I need to go practice.

911
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: That's not really how I operate. I love to play music, right,

912
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 1: So I mean if I had a guitar at my apartment,

913
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,439
Speaker 1: once I leave here, I probably go grab a drink

914
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: and then go back to my apartment and just sit

915
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 1: around and you know, write songs, um just because I

916
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: want to. You know, it's not about I need to

917
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: put in the time like an athlete really has to

918
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: put in the time, because you know, if you spend

919
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 1: five days on the couch, you may be over overresting, right,

920
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 1: But it's also the same I played hockey because I

921
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 1: love to, Like that's my question for you is are

922
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: you having fun in your day? Do you love the chase?

923
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: Do you love what you do because that's a motivation.

924
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 1: Do you love the task or just the idea of

925
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 1: winning at the task? No, I enjoyed the task for sure. Yeah.

926
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 1: But but and then, but when you get a little

927
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: bit of taste of success, I want more and successes.

928
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 1: And I would love for you, Gavin to do to

929
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 1: list all of the things that you've failed to him.

930
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 1: Let me tell you. I mean, I I could, I could,

931
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 1: I could listen, I could list to you all the

932
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: songs that I've marketed that just that just were a

933
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: total with you know what I mean, Songs that I

934
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 1: thought were obvious hits, you know. Um, I mean I

935
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: remember I remember complaining to Billy Joel. I was like,

936
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 1: you know, I got the songs on the radio and

937
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 1: it's a big hit. But I have this other song

938
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: right now and I think it's a bigger hit, but

939
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: no one will play it, you know what I mean.

940
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: And we had this really great conversation and I thought, Okay, cool, cool,

941
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: and I walked away thinking of myself. That didn't help

942
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: me either. I mean, I just complained to my idol

943
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: and I was STARTI I still walked away like this sucks,

944
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I just got to talk

945
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 1: to my idol, you know, and I was still just

946
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 1: you know, disappointed to the fact that I I believed

947
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:16,320
Speaker 1: in something musically that could help, that should have happened

948
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: in my mind, you know, as an act, thinking this

949
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 1: song should be a hit if no one will play it.

950
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: But you know it's not. It's not all up to me,

951
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 1: and it's not even it's not even up to somebody else.

952
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 1: It's just it happens or it doesn't happen. You still,

953
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: you keep grinding because you love to grind. I love

954
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 1: to grind because I'm passionate about what I'm doing. So

955
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 1: to me, it's it's me loving my own cooking, you

956
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Is it coming over for dinner?

957
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: It's great, and you know, a couple more people are

958
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 1: sitting at your table thinking this guy can't cook worth it?

959
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: But I'm like, isn't it delicious? You know They're like, yeah,

960
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 1: sure thing. You know, if they don't come back over

961
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: for you know, next weekend, guess how good you are

962
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,839
Speaker 1: of a ship. The one thing I want to add

963
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: Ryan is is I think what I want to hich On,

964
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 1: is self fulfillment, Like what's fulfilling to you? You know,

965
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: is it getting that win, whether it's monetary reason for

966
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: monetary reasons, or is it you know, sitting back and

967
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 1: saying I just accomplished that or I'm doing this or

968
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that's what Brooks and Governor

969
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: Bull touching upon. It's like, and as you go through life,

970
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: think those accomplishments or that fulfillment will even change, you know,

971
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 1: like even using Dmitry as an example, like he's trying

972
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: to find fulfillment while he's sitting on his ass on vacation,

973
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, and I think if you or sitting on

974
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: my ass, But I think finding that fulfillment, whether it's

975
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: monetary or whatever that reason is, I think that will

976
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: really help. You know, you just said that better than

977
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 1: me Rick when I was asking him to experience his

978
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 1: potential every night. You know, it's like taste, taste what

979
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: you did every day, experience the self fulfillment. And I

980
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: just have to I want to take you off the

981
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 1: hot seat because I know here's but I see you

982
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: as the ultimate provider. You're just two giant giver, and

983
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: I think expanding your definition of providing. You're you're always

984
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 1: going to bring in the money. I know you'll never stop.

985
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:12,280
Speaker 1: And if you could look at if I was your wife,

986
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 1: If if I've got a guy who loves me that

987
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: hard and is trying so hard to give me this

988
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: ultimate life, that's enough. She already won the lottery with you.

989
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: And everything else beyond that is gravy. You've already checked

990
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 1: the box from providing. We promised to text you all

991
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 1: our failures everything. Yeah, as Gavin asks repeatedly, Amy, when

992
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: do we get our checks? D Let's celebrate your giving mook,

993
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: I have a massage. We'll be back after the break.

994
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: Jump into my man Rick and what he's dealing with.

995
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: Back from break, we are do we group therapy, and

996
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 1: we're getting to, like we said, the truth behind the

997
00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 1: behavior of these good serves, these good gentlemen. Now onto

998
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: you Rick, Rick, you are in the hot seatom okay,

999
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: do you want to dive into your conversation with Rick? Okay? Wreck, Hello,

1000
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 1: so good, I'm next. You're on the hot seats. So

1001
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:20,320
Speaker 1: we had our little mini session and I'll give the

1002
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: listeners a little wrap up of what we discussed that

1003
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: you're challenged with, right, now or what you'd like to shift.

1004
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 1: And I would sum it up in that you are

1005
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 1: comfortably stuck, yes, right, comfortably stuck. Yeah, that you've you've

1006
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: had a habit of putting yourself last, because, like we've

1007
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: been talking about, there's always a good reason, right for

1008
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,880
Speaker 1: the things that men do. And the good reason is

1009
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: because you're phenomenally loyal and you you really care you

1010
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 1: you carry a lot of guilt if you don't deliver

1011
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 1: you and so you have made choices in your life

1012
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 1: that I think are not producing the kind of freedom

1013
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: that you really want. Yeah, exactly. And I feel that

1014
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,320
Speaker 1: way a lot, you know, even like at my home space,

1015
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 1: or my workplace or really kind of just in general

1016
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:15,760
Speaker 1: at everything. And I feel that if I don't sometimes

1017
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: reach to a particular potential, that I consider myself a

1018
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: failure at times when there's no reason to do that,

1019
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 1: you know, and it's I just need to step back

1020
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: and let it, let it go. And I have a

1021
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 1: really hard time with like letting it go, you know,

1022
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 1: whether it's um, you know, feelings or something may have

1023
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 1: happened to me and really kind of talking to that

1024
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 1: other side of my brain, you know, I'm usually listening

1025
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 1: to the one side that's saying, oh, this is what happened,

1026
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 1: or this is what you're going through, or this is

1027
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 1: what's happening, instead of kind of peeling that other layer

1028
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,839
Speaker 1: back and listening to the other side saying just take

1029
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: a rest, don't don't listen to that person over there anymore,

1030
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 1: or don't give that person to give that person a break,

1031
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: you know. And I and I put so much onto

1032
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 1: myself about that that, um, it affects my relationships with

1033
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: my friends, my family, my kids, you know, whatever that

1034
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:09,360
Speaker 1: may be. Yeah, we all have that voice inside of

1035
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 1: us that's, you know, trying to help us be better,

1036
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: be perfect, perform higher, better, more faster, you know. And

1037
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 1: what I wanted to ask you was like, how do

1038
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 1: I how do I shift that from listening to the

1039
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 1: I don't know if negative is the right word to

1040
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: use for that voice, but shifting from to the other voice,

1041
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:32,560
Speaker 1: you know, or or the other side of it to

1042
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 1: help me actually steer my path, my life path through

1043
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,399
Speaker 1: whatever I'm trying to go through. Yeah, it's the best question.

1044
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: It's universally, but we're all challenged with and I think

1045
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 1: that's important for everyone to know that it's not just

1046
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: some of us that have that voice. I think it

1047
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:48,359
Speaker 1: comes into our awareness when we're really little, and it's

1048
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 1: a survival mechanism. So the shortcut, because I'm all about shortcuts,

1049
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: like practical tools, right, the shortcut is really first off,

1050
00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:01,919
Speaker 1: recognizing what's the psitive intention? Again, what's the good reason

1051
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: for that little voice in you? Right? What do you

1052
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:06,320
Speaker 1: think it wants for you? Right? I feel like it

1053
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: wants it wants me to do what I want to

1054
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 1: be doing and not kind of being tied to what

1055
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: somebody else wants or maybe a society thing. I don't

1056
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 1: know if it's that big or not, but focusing on

1057
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 1: what I want to be doing and not like what

1058
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 1: I should be doing or what you know, like I

1059
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: should be in a in a relationship or I shouldn't

1060
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 1: be in a relationship, or I should be you know,

1061
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: in a work situation or a non work situation, and

1062
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: really listening to that other side of the voice saying, hey,

1063
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: you know that this isn't right, or you know that

1064
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 1: this is right. No, it doesn't always have to be negative,

1065
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: but you know that this is right. Go do that, um.

1066
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 1: And That's what I'm really struggling with in all aspects

1067
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: of my life. Yeah, So if that little voice actually

1068
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 1: wants the same thing for you that you know in

1069
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 1: your higher self you want for you, which is freedom. Right,

1070
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 1: I think every one of us is here to experience

1071
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: at our highest level is freedom and love. And so

1072
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: you're talking about also when we had our session, that

1073
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: your highest value is happiness. You want that for your kids,

1074
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: you want that for your wife, you want that for

1075
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 1: all these guys. You know, that's what you're trying to give.

1076
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: And so my question for you is is do you

1077
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: think that you can have that happiness and freedom and

1078
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: be successful. I definitely think I can. Um, you know,

1079
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: and I think the biggest thing is for me is

1080
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 1: trying to overcome that obstacle of that other side. Now

1081
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 1: I know what is going to make me happy. I

1082
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 1: know what how to get to that point. Um, And

1083
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: I think you know, and talking to you and everybody

1084
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: else is trying to, you know, to leap over those

1085
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 1: those boundaries that are put that my I'm putting in

1086
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: front of myself really trying to follow that path. Well,

1087
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: the leap is first recognizing that that voice has a

1088
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: high and positive intention for that one. First, that's what

1089
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 1: I need to do. Yeah, and then don't fight it

1090
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 1: because we all want to like, oh the part of myself,

1091
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: you know, or like try to shut up and make

1092
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 1: it quiet, and it will not until you direct it

1093
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 1: towards the goal. So I think the shortcut for you then,

1094
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: after recognizing the good reason, is going into the athlete,

1095
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 1: the athlete in you, because that's that's probably a part

1096
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 1: you know that really drives you in a good and

1097
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 1: a healthy way. Like you've got this big race coming up,

1098
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 1: you're swimming, and you identify as an athlete, and that

1099
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 1: driving us to be congruent with who we think we

1100
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 1: are is what you use. So instead of going into

1101
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 1: the beat down and oh my god, I'm not there yet,

1102
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 1: or oh my god, I don't feel free or I'm

1103
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,680
Speaker 1: not happy yet, and you know, you feel that gap

1104
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 1: from where you are and where you want to be,

1105
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 1: you go onto athlete mode because I think, there you

1106
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: know how to be on a team, but you also

1107
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 1: know how to be at your highest performance, right, Like,

1108
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: tell me what it's like when you're swimming. What how

1109
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: do you think does that voice even register when you're swimming?

1110
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 1: You know, it's kind of funny, it's powerful, you know,

1111
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 1: and there's a voice. That's that's thinking, and that's why

1112
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 1: I actually love swimming and doing the workouts because it

1113
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 1: allows me that kind of freedom or time to think

1114
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: about a lot of things, you know, and that um,

1115
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:19,439
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like that is powerful and that's

1116
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 1: the voice I need to continue to listen to while

1117
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: I'm swimming and so or playing water polo or you know,

1118
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: exercising in the gym, and and for me, it just

1119
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 1: makes me overall feel good and strong, you know, maybe

1120
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 1: even physically, but definitely mentally, you know, like I've just

1121
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 1: accomplished something and that workout or I just accomplished something

1122
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:41,479
Speaker 1: in that race across Lake Tahoe, or I accomplished whatever.

1123
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: And that's the part that I need to continue to

1124
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: listen to and and can get me over that, you know,

1125
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: get me through to tap into that more literally going

1126
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 1: to cut and paste it. Yes, you know, there are

1127
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 1: people who've struggled with lists or challenges in life that

1128
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 1: you know, no one could cure. And I know one

1129
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 1: of my teachers uses this technique to literally cut and

1130
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 1: paste the mindset or the freedom that this person would

1131
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: feel when he's surfing, and he could go from lisping

1132
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 1: in one moment, barely able to get out a word

1133
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: to putting himself on the board, feeling the ocean, feeling

1134
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: the salty air, and all of a sudden he speaks,

1135
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 1: as clear as you me, that is wild. It's a choice, right,

1136
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: So that's that's the short kind. I think the other

1137
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 1: side of it is, you know, it's getting to make

1138
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 1: that decision to turn into the athlete or to go

1139
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 1: down that path and to be that positive, make those

1140
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 1: positive decisions, but to also you know, I deal with

1141
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 1: the regret that I've left back, you know, like what

1142
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 1: either whether it's a person or an individual or you know,

1143
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 1: leaving somebody or something and saying, hey, that's not you know,

1144
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: we didn't finish what we started. And that's the part

1145
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 1: I have a really trouble, troubled I'm with with dealing mentally,

1146
01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: you know, with that of like whether it's usually it's

1147
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 1: in like a work situation, right or you know, right, Well,

1148
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: if we go back to this really resourceful side of you,

1149
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 1: the athlete, the athlete probably won't quit when he's swimming

1150
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 1: across like Taho, right, you won't give up. So you're

1151
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:19,800
Speaker 1: applying again that same blueprint to the job. Even though

1152
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 1: this is a race you don't want to swim anymore,

1153
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: not by myself, that's for sure. Yeah. Yeah, So again,

1154
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 1: I think it's in that moment you think about you're

1155
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 1: here in this lifetime to experience happiness and freedom. So

1156
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 1: there's that athlete in you who says, and I know

1157
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 1: what race to enter in, right, you know if this

1158
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: is a race that just cutting it. I'm not going

1159
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: to enter that anymore if I know I can't finish it.

1160
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 1: Like you said, when you need to, let's say, swim

1161
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 1: a race or run a race, you go into athlete

1162
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 1: mode if you're going to make a leap, is what

1163
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 1: you said. I need a certain number of things, remind you.

1164
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 1: You said, I need answers, I need clarity. I need

1165
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: to know how I'll manage. I need excitement. I need

1166
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 1: to know who's going to drive. You need to like

1167
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 1: know all the things. And I'm sure you mapped that

1168
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 1: out a lot when you actually are competing, right, so

1169
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 1: you've lined everything up to know that you can win.

1170
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 1: So did you ever have a coach back in the

1171
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: day doing all the sports? Oh yeah, I've had multiple

1172
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:29,560
Speaker 1: m very strict, like rigid coaches. I've had two very

1173
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 1: you know blessed in high school and then in college

1174
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 1: that were amazing coaches. I mean, but very strict, very stringent.

1175
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 1: You know, work. It's all about working hard. And they

1176
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:41,439
Speaker 1: made you better and they made it they made me better.

1177
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: They maybe you know, like powerful and you know, to

1178
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 1: withstand the tests of either a failure or whatnot. Right,

1179
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 1: So do you allow yourself that when it comes to

1180
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 1: the career and to success. I don't right now, you know,

1181
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 1: And and I need to um and I and like

1182
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 1: we were talking about, like I map all those those

1183
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 1: things out in my head, you know what I want

1184
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 1: to do, but I don't put it into action. Yeah. See,

1185
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 1: I think that's really common. I think we all understand

1186
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: the need for a coach when it comes to sports.

1187
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: And then somehow we adult and we go out into

1188
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 1: the world and we're supposed to figure it all out

1189
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 1: on our own. And there are people who actually have

1190
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 1: walked the path before you who could say, hey, Rick,

1191
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:24,160
Speaker 1: not a race you need to run anymore, or here

1192
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 1: are a number of things that you could do two

1193
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: millimeter shift here there to make it actually enjoyable and freeing,

1194
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: and so you don't have to carry this guilt or

1195
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 1: we talked about how you had set out to deliver

1196
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 1: like six things when you signed on for this particular gig, right,

1197
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:43,720
Speaker 1: And I feel like the other side of you know,

1198
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 1: I look at it and I'm like, I have to

1199
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 1: do it all myself. When I don't the realities, I

1200
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 1: can turn to, you know, somebody else and ask them, hey,

1201
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:56,240
Speaker 1: you like and being okay with asking for that help

1202
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,600
Speaker 1: and saying, hey, can you help me with this? Or

1203
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: you know, that person may know something better about something

1204
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,320
Speaker 1: you know something else, and so it's hey, do you

1205
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,440
Speaker 1: mind helping me in this? In this aspect? Is that

1206
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:09,040
Speaker 1: something you find universally guys struggle with. I think so, yeah,

1207
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,280
Speaker 1: they definitely do, you know, because it's like, well, you're

1208
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 1: gonna need to do this myself, and you know, and

1209
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,960
Speaker 1: and I you know a lot of successful people and

1210
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 1: I don't care about success all that much, but it's

1211
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:24,360
Speaker 1: it's they they have asked people along the way, you know,

1212
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 1: and they do have those coaches, you know, whether it's

1213
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: in sports or life or whatever, and mentors, And I

1214
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 1: think that's that's something that I really need to kind

1215
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 1: of focus on. It's the same thing You're just going

1216
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: to go back to being the athlete and going, oh, yeah,

1217
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 1: I would have asked my coach how to improve my stress.

1218
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:43,479
Speaker 1: How right, it's not an admission that you don't know something.

1219
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 1: And I think you guys put so much pressure on

1220
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:48,800
Speaker 1: yourselves to know everything, and they just want to Actually,

1221
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 1: we should say this out loud. They want I think

1222
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 1: women want to ride you harder, not knowing how hard

1223
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 1: you're riding yourself already, Like why are you work so

1224
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 1: much and why aren't you x y Z for me

1225
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 1: when you're really battling this part of yourself and just

1226
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,560
Speaker 1: trying to give, Like if you could tell your family, look,

1227
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:16,840
Speaker 1: I am here to deliver happiness. I am the happiness

1228
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: delivery man. That is what I'm going for every day.

1229
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: I know that if you're trying to give that to others,

1230
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 1: you have to give it to yourself Otherwise it comes outsideways.

1231
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,120
Speaker 1: It doesn't work. And I'm the first to admit I

1232
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 1: mean I solo preneuring. You know. I thought I could

1233
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 1: do it all on my own, and it took a

1234
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 1: long time to realize that that is just no strategy. Yeah,

1235
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 1: if I'm here to deliver joy in the same way

1236
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 1: that you're here to deliver happiness, I gotta be like

1237
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,200
Speaker 1: feeling it right, you know, so that when you're just

1238
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: around me, you get it. And I think that's the

1239
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:53,240
Speaker 1: other thing is like there are days where I feel incredible,

1240
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 1: and whether it's a whether it's something positive happened at

1241
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 1: work or at home or with you know, or even

1242
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,480
Speaker 1: working outside of it. You know, I always kind of

1243
01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 1: revert back to physical working side, working outside of it,

1244
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,080
Speaker 1: like Okay, I'm gonna now get back on track and

1245
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go swim and that's gonna make me feel good.

1246
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: And it does make me feel good. But it's like

1247
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,920
Speaker 1: if I don't, there are days where I do. It's

1248
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,000
Speaker 1: it's the days that that feeling isn't there. How do

1249
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:20,320
Speaker 1: I deal with it and my coping it with something

1250
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: else in my you know, how do I jump out

1251
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 1: of that feeling that day and being Mr Happiness? Yeah

1252
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:29,280
Speaker 1: that's the yes. I mean, how long have you practice

1253
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:33,040
Speaker 1: swimming forever? Yeah? You're going to be doing this for

1254
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 1: It's a choice in any given moment. And I think

1255
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 1: it's about defying our culture. Really. I think our culture

1256
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 1: has taught us ever since you know, the Industrial Revolution

1257
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 1: or somewhere around there, that it was just work harder, faster,

1258
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 1: and more correct. You know, like we're all still machines

1259
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 1: when we get into business mode. And I think there's

1260
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 1: a new moment, a new way where we need to

1261
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:59,240
Speaker 1: access more of our heart, We need to access more

1262
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:03,040
Speaker 1: of our creative ativity and you know, our intuition and

1263
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:07,360
Speaker 1: some of these skills that are beyond just producing results.

1264
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: We need human skills, we need e Q all of

1265
01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:13,280
Speaker 1: that and that comes from you feeling like a well,

1266
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 1: happy man, correct and that. I feel like if you

1267
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:23,120
Speaker 1: get to that point, you that trickles down to everything else, people, environment,

1268
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 1: whatever you're you know you're trying to get to. But yeah,

1269
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 1: I think it's amazing. Yeah, I think it's the the strategy.

1270
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,799
Speaker 1: I think it's the strategy for being a greater partner,

1271
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,800
Speaker 1: It's the strategy for being a greater dad, for being

1272
01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:38,320
Speaker 1: greater at your work. Is if you know, we all

1273
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 1: know those great leaders that show up who just have

1274
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:44,600
Speaker 1: that calm to them, they're satiated. You know, we've got

1275
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: to say no more machine. And I know Ryan loves

1276
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:51,559
Speaker 1: working hard. We talked to him. I don't think we're

1277
01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 1: going to take that away from him, but maybe you can. Yeah,

1278
01:08:56,520 --> 01:09:01,679
Speaker 1: let's see the role model for Ryan. Yeah, it, thank

1279
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:04,120
Speaker 1: you so much. I have a question for you, Shury,

1280
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,720
Speaker 1: just on what you just mentioned because and I think

1281
01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:11,240
Speaker 1: a lot of listeners can resonate with this. Certainly I do,

1282
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 1: and I think these guys will as well. To be

1283
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:20,120
Speaker 1: successful in what every industry or career you are in,

1284
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 1: there has to be something about you that is extremely driven. H.

1285
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:29,840
Speaker 1: So there is an innate personality in you that has

1286
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:33,599
Speaker 1: allowed you to succeed to the level and the degree

1287
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:39,479
Speaker 1: and elevate above others uh currently in your life. Now,

1288
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 1: how do you balance how how can somebody with that

1289
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:47,559
Speaker 1: engine also balance it with dialing back a little bit

1290
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,960
Speaker 1: because it's innate in them and it's a it's been

1291
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,320
Speaker 1: a blessing in their life to allow them to succeed.

1292
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,680
Speaker 1: But how do we then put the governor on that

1293
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,960
Speaker 1: and back off the full speed or full throttle and

1294
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 1: back off some of this dressed like Ryan's talking about

1295
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,560
Speaker 1: her some of the having the draw job control me,

1296
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 1: like Rick's talking about, like how do we how do

1297
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,479
Speaker 1: we have that engine and also have control to bring

1298
01:10:08,520 --> 01:10:10,760
Speaker 1: it back? Yeah, that's the best question. And I get

1299
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:13,360
Speaker 1: that all the time from leaders at Google and Nike

1300
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:16,840
Speaker 1: and YouTube and I mean, really a high powered, high paced.

1301
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:19,680
Speaker 1: If I pull back on the throttle, someone else is

1302
01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:25,680
Speaker 1: going to take my job, passed me by. Yeah, but

1303
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:30,000
Speaker 1: I'll give you the perfect metaphor. It's super simple. Phil Edwards,

1304
01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 1: one of the world's greatest surfers, said, the best surfer

1305
01:10:32,439 --> 01:10:35,640
Speaker 1: out there is the one having the most fun. And

1306
01:10:35,720 --> 01:10:37,960
Speaker 1: you go out to surf the waves. Nobody a goes

1307
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 1: out for a bad time. Be you're cool. When there

1308
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:43,519
Speaker 1: are no waves, you wait, you hang out, talk to

1309
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,280
Speaker 1: your buddies, you wait. You enjoy being in the water,

1310
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 1: being out there. And then when the waves come, even

1311
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:53,679
Speaker 1: when you get thrown down into the rip, you're there

1312
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:58,439
Speaker 1: for that. You you go at it with everything you've got,

1313
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,840
Speaker 1: no matter what's being presented to you, because you want

1314
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:06,360
Speaker 1: to have fun, because you're hungry for the fun. Right. So,

1315
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:09,800
Speaker 1: I think if you have that mindset, that maybe there's

1316
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,640
Speaker 1: a new way upon us. Maybe the old way, the

1317
01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:17,200
Speaker 1: industrial era taught us you have to do more, harder, faster, grind,

1318
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:19,559
Speaker 1: be stressed. That's what it looks like to work hard.

1319
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:22,320
Speaker 1: A lot of us were raised that way. Maybe we

1320
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:27,760
Speaker 1: question that and say, actually, when we're relaxed, we have

1321
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:31,400
Speaker 1: access to our prefrontal cortex. We have access to our heart.

1322
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:34,040
Speaker 1: We can actually be a channel. We can listen to

1323
01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 1: our own intuition. We have access to way more than

1324
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:42,559
Speaker 1: just the machine appear. They talk about it with sprinters too,

1325
01:11:42,640 --> 01:11:44,719
Speaker 1: Like you ever watch a hundred meter dash in the Olympics.

1326
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 1: They zoom in on sprinters faces and are their cheeks bouncing?

1327
01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:52,439
Speaker 1: You guys ever see this? Are their cheeks bouncing while

1328
01:11:52,479 --> 01:11:55,840
Speaker 1: they're running. So they're running the fastest race on earth

1329
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:59,000
Speaker 1: with full exertion, yet to be fully relaxed so that

1330
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:02,560
Speaker 1: your cheeks are actually bouncing. It seems like a contradiction,

1331
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:06,680
Speaker 1: but it's a state of flow. It's it's really like

1332
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,240
Speaker 1: gave as an artist, you know, when you're in a

1333
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 1: state of flow, like or as a TV exact like,

1334
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,519
Speaker 1: things are just coming and you aren't thinking they're just

1335
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 1: you are innately in it and reacting. As an athlete

1336
01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 1: the same thing, to find that balance between super intensity

1337
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:24,280
Speaker 1: but absolutely relaxed. And I think that's presence what you're

1338
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:28,760
Speaker 1: talking about, fully presence. Sometimes it's not about faster. Yeah,

1339
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:32,080
Speaker 1: it's just fun, like really how much fun? And just

1340
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:34,720
Speaker 1: when I was here and you Talkedmitri something, my wife

1341
01:12:34,760 --> 01:12:36,160
Speaker 1: and I always talked about is when we go on

1342
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:38,920
Speaker 1: on a vacation, we might have one day that's like

1343
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:42,200
Speaker 1: a paramount amazing, my god, We're gonna do something incredible today,

1344
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:44,240
Speaker 1: so it's bungee jumping, and the next day is just

1345
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:47,599
Speaker 1: sitting by the pool. I challenge her. I'm like, Okay,

1346
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:50,080
Speaker 1: just because we did something incredible yesterday, we have to

1347
01:12:50,160 --> 01:12:53,040
Speaker 1: make today better. I want today to be better. I

1348
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:56,000
Speaker 1: don't want each day of my life to be worse

1349
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,400
Speaker 1: than the day before. My challenge in my life is

1350
01:12:58,439 --> 01:13:00,439
Speaker 1: to make my life better. Everything good day. And I

1351
01:13:00,439 --> 01:13:01,720
Speaker 1: say that to people every day, the best day of

1352
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:04,360
Speaker 1: my life today. But like when you're on your relationship

1353
01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: with your on your vacation with your family, yeah, I

1354
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,000
Speaker 1: think if you're thinking how can I have the most

1355
01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:15,040
Speaker 1: fun today would sort of help subside the oh my god,

1356
01:13:15,120 --> 01:13:18,240
Speaker 1: this is ending in three days, you know, and I'm

1357
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:20,840
Speaker 1: sure you do it, like I know you. I'm sure

1358
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:23,080
Speaker 1: you do it. But maybe being more mindful of even

1359
01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:24,760
Speaker 1: just saying that, like I just want to have the

1360
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:27,280
Speaker 1: best time ever today and I'll think about tomorrow when

1361
01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:30,960
Speaker 1: tomorrow comes. I think, Yeah, what you brought up about

1362
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:33,519
Speaker 1: flow is everything. And in the flow state. We feel

1363
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 1: fully alive. I think we could all agree that that's

1364
01:13:36,080 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: what we want, you know, the fully alive feeling of

1365
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:43,320
Speaker 1: like that full enjoyment, and that means like maybe you're better,

1366
01:13:43,479 --> 01:13:45,560
Speaker 1: better better. It's just, oh my god, how can I

1367
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:48,040
Speaker 1: so taste this flavor? Because this flavor being by the

1368
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:51,920
Speaker 1: pool is very different than bungie. I have a sort

1369
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:55,360
Speaker 1: of a governing question in in my life is how

1370
01:13:55,439 --> 01:13:59,439
Speaker 1: can I give everything to this? Yeah, is sort of

1371
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:02,040
Speaker 1: how I if I'm on the phone with somebody, how

1372
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:04,800
Speaker 1: can I give everything to this phone call? If I'm

1373
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:07,719
Speaker 1: on this doing this podcast, how can I give everything?

1374
01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:09,880
Speaker 1: And it kind of keeps you present because I'm not.

1375
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:13,479
Speaker 1: That's why I have to this on the end of

1376
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:16,840
Speaker 1: that question, because it's not that it's not the next thing.

1377
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:19,880
Speaker 1: So you know, if you're doing a concert, how can

1378
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:22,760
Speaker 1: I give everything? Or a game just tonight, I know

1379
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:26,120
Speaker 1: we got eighty two game season, but just tonight, you know,

1380
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:28,320
Speaker 1: and then a conversation on the phone or going to

1381
01:14:28,439 --> 01:14:31,120
Speaker 1: a meal with friends or something. It's really in my

1382
01:14:31,280 --> 01:14:33,559
Speaker 1: life to help me keeping present, just reminding myself, how

1383
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,720
Speaker 1: can I give everything I have to this? I so

1384
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,479
Speaker 1: experience that with you like the whole entire time I've

1385
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:42,519
Speaker 1: been with you today. That's that's exactly you have that

1386
01:14:42,640 --> 01:14:46,080
Speaker 1: presence we're talking about. I think I got it because

1387
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:48,040
Speaker 1: I didn't have it. I had some of the same

1388
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,920
Speaker 1: things as as Dmitri, like, oh my god, I'm five

1389
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:53,320
Speaker 1: years into my career. My career is how much long

1390
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:55,120
Speaker 1: am I going to play? You? No? I only have

1391
01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:56,600
Speaker 1: X amount of time to win, an x amount of

1392
01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:58,559
Speaker 1: time to make money, you know, like an athlete has

1393
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:01,320
Speaker 1: an earning potential, right, Like I think I had to

1394
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:05,639
Speaker 1: develop that, right. So you just mentioned Brooks giving everything

1395
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:08,439
Speaker 1: you have into anything you do, a phone call being

1396
01:15:08,439 --> 01:15:10,280
Speaker 1: an example. So, Shari, the question I have for you

1397
01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:14,400
Speaker 1: is Brooks has proven to be a serial facetimer. He

1398
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:17,840
Speaker 1: refuses to have normal phone calls and only FaceTime. So

1399
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:21,160
Speaker 1: when you had your pre interview, did you guys FaceTime

1400
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:24,880
Speaker 1: or did you talk like normal civilized human beings normal

1401
01:15:25,120 --> 01:15:31,639
Speaker 1: human we call connected us. Oh nice, So it's on Amy,

1402
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:33,840
Speaker 1: But did you know there's three way FaceTime? You could

1403
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:35,840
Speaker 1: face time and and pastor. And I think the problem.

1404
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:39,080
Speaker 1: The problem is Brooks is very handsome, so that is

1405
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 1: giving his best is by doing face. My question to

1406
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:47,120
Speaker 1: wrap things up and again the vibe I'm getting from

1407
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:48,599
Speaker 1: the three of you, and really we put the three

1408
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:52,400
Speaker 1: of you in the hot seat, is this go go

1409
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:56,839
Speaker 1: more more do do? And what I'm wondering from Gavin

1410
01:15:57,280 --> 01:16:01,240
Speaker 1: Brooks Shari, if we all slow down a bit, do

1411
01:16:01,360 --> 01:16:05,720
Speaker 1: we actually accomplish more? Because I'm certain we do. Like

1412
01:16:06,240 --> 01:16:09,080
Speaker 1: I feel that that when you like, for example, when

1413
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,240
Speaker 1: you're trying to be creative, you can't be creative when

1414
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:13,280
Speaker 1: you have forty seven emails and the phone's ringing into

1415
01:16:13,320 --> 01:16:14,920
Speaker 1: this and people are talking to you. You have to

1416
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:19,519
Speaker 1: like go somewhere else or be quiet. So would it

1417
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:25,240
Speaker 1: help these three to just slow down and relax? I

1418
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:27,519
Speaker 1: will say what you whispered into my ear to a

1419
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,720
Speaker 1: minute ago, Is this this like a difference between men

1420
01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:31,920
Speaker 1: and women? And I will say no. With all the

1421
01:16:31,960 --> 01:16:34,160
Speaker 1: work I've been doing with men, the very first thing

1422
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:37,120
Speaker 1: that I take them through is slowing down and getting

1423
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:40,120
Speaker 1: into your body so that you can actually feel and

1424
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:43,599
Speaker 1: then do anything well. And I think that's what I'm

1425
01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:47,160
Speaker 1: constantly talking about as a soul pace, right, the pace

1426
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:50,280
Speaker 1: at which you are most connected to yourself and others.

1427
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:53,560
Speaker 1: And it's different for everybody, Like I think Ryan it

1428
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:57,000
Speaker 1: might be that you just super enjoy the hustle. And

1429
01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:59,479
Speaker 1: it's not to say that that's wrong, it's only like

1430
01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:02,559
Speaker 1: it cost you and are you okay with the cost?

1431
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:09,400
Speaker 1: And I think that the slowing down is really the

1432
01:17:09,479 --> 01:17:13,960
Speaker 1: ultimate performance hack. And our world is going way too fast.

1433
01:17:14,080 --> 01:17:17,080
Speaker 1: We all know it. To your point, Amy, yes, I

1434
01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:22,160
Speaker 1: would something that I've been very aware of in my

1435
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:25,640
Speaker 1: life and I'm working on is and I hope this

1436
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:30,920
Speaker 1: maybe can resonate with you Ryan. Less projects, bigger ones,

1437
01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:36,519
Speaker 1: less decisions, bigger ones are just I'm because I came

1438
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:39,720
Speaker 1: out of hockey world. Is my oyster opportunities. I want

1439
01:17:39,760 --> 01:17:41,600
Speaker 1: to do. This could pulled this way that way. I

1440
01:17:41,680 --> 01:17:43,200
Speaker 1: want to try dabble in this because now I have

1441
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:46,479
Speaker 1: time to explore thoughts that I've had for thirty five

1442
01:17:46,560 --> 01:17:50,000
Speaker 1: years that I could never allocate resources to before. So

1443
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:52,800
Speaker 1: it's I'm kicking tires everywhere and I've found it's been

1444
01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:57,479
Speaker 1: exhausting and I'm not getting real true fulfillment and purpose

1445
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:00,640
Speaker 1: in my life. And so I've tried to move some

1446
01:18:00,720 --> 01:18:03,160
Speaker 1: stuff aside and say no to stuff and do less,

1447
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,080
Speaker 1: less projects, bigger ones, And I hope this podcast turns

1448
01:18:07,120 --> 01:18:09,800
Speaker 1: into a big thing That's why I'm hearing Amy quite

1449
01:18:09,840 --> 01:18:11,880
Speaker 1: often tart like investing in it because I want this

1450
01:18:12,040 --> 01:18:17,120
Speaker 1: to be a powerful platform um and less decisions but bigger,

1451
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:22,840
Speaker 1: more meaningful ones. Does that resonate at all? Yeah? Great,

1452
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:28,400
Speaker 1: You're great bro. Now, mad I like the hell out

1453
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:31,760
Speaker 1: of you. Do you like him? I mean you have

1454
01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:34,040
Speaker 1: to look at him? I mean you just got it.

1455
01:18:34,520 --> 01:18:36,720
Speaker 1: I feel I feel like you. I feel like you're

1456
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:41,840
Speaker 1: I feel like you have so much figured out life wise.

1457
01:18:42,040 --> 01:18:44,960
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like you're on a real

1458
01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:50,920
Speaker 1: path for true satisfaction in your life. It's unusual to

1459
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:54,719
Speaker 1: see can you give me a thank you? I appreciate

1460
01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:59,519
Speaker 1: that You're very welcome. You won't make you wanted. I

1461
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:04,240
Speaker 1: think Ryan did and clinch his teeth during that. So

1462
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:08,759
Speaker 1: we're making progress. Jealous, could I ask you? Is because

1463
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:13,439
Speaker 1: I'm very happy, I'm very fulfilled and like, I love

1464
01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:16,000
Speaker 1: my life. That being said, I love to learn and

1465
01:19:16,080 --> 01:19:18,400
Speaker 1: grow and challenge and there's so much that I don't know.

1466
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:22,400
Speaker 1: But like what what specifically in my life in the

1467
01:19:22,720 --> 01:19:24,760
Speaker 1: time that we've known each other leads you to say

1468
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:31,000
Speaker 1: that your openness to discuss your feelings. Is there a

1469
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:36,160
Speaker 1: true rarity amongst men in my opinion, a lot of

1470
01:19:36,320 --> 01:19:40,400
Speaker 1: male friendships are much more on the surface. In my opinion,

1471
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:46,200
Speaker 1: you know, it's not such an expose into someone's desired

1472
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:48,680
Speaker 1: path in life. And and like to listen do you

1473
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:52,240
Speaker 1: speak about and actually to listen to a lot of

1474
01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:54,320
Speaker 1: you guys speak about the things that you want to

1475
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,760
Speaker 1: improve in your lives and admitting certain things better lives.

1476
01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:59,280
Speaker 1: I've never been around a group like this in my

1477
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:02,120
Speaker 1: whole life where guys spoke like this to each other,

1478
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:06,080
Speaker 1: you know, to just talk about the game, talk about

1479
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:10,360
Speaker 1: the bar and uh, you know, talk about your your

1480
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:16,040
Speaker 1: your crazy uh parts of your life. Never about the

1481
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:19,000
Speaker 1: things you wanted to improve as much about your life

1482
01:20:19,080 --> 01:20:21,280
Speaker 1: and your dreams and things like that. And Sarah actually

1483
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,240
Speaker 1: really refreshing appreciate it, man, I think it's honestly, I

1484
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:27,880
Speaker 1: think it's because of one trade. I think I'm very

1485
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:32,240
Speaker 1: curious why you're holding my hand. Before that was a

1486
01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:35,680
Speaker 1: pure lie. Don't lie to the people. But I think

1487
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:38,360
Speaker 1: I'm very curious. I think I'm I think for me,

1488
01:20:39,920 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 1: personal development and personal growth have always been paramount. It's

1489
01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:47,400
Speaker 1: led me to chase my dreams, it's led me to

1490
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:50,679
Speaker 1: try new opportunities like this, podcast. It leads to new friendships,

1491
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:55,240
Speaker 1: it leads to uh, discovering so many new things. Uh.

1492
01:20:55,520 --> 01:20:58,720
Speaker 1: And I think I'm just I'm the same as you, Ryan.

1493
01:20:58,840 --> 01:21:04,040
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely curious of maximum potential. I love driving the

1494
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,760
Speaker 1: tip of the sword, like what are humans capable of?

1495
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:09,680
Speaker 1: I love that in athletics for myself, I also love it,

1496
01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:12,599
Speaker 1: and just in athletics in general, what's the human body

1497
01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:17,880
Speaker 1: capable for of? But also spiritually mentally, Um, how can

1498
01:21:17,960 --> 01:21:20,519
Speaker 1: we transcend time? Something I'm trying to do is to

1499
01:21:20,640 --> 01:21:23,120
Speaker 1: try and do in a week what others would do

1500
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:25,920
Speaker 1: in a month, And so that's I can't. We can

1501
01:21:25,960 --> 01:21:27,800
Speaker 1: all only work so hard. So I need to apply

1502
01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:31,479
Speaker 1: intelligence in different ways. And um, I don't know. I'm

1503
01:21:31,520 --> 01:21:35,160
Speaker 1: just constantly a student of life. You are too. I

1504
01:21:35,240 --> 01:21:37,360
Speaker 1: love I love listening. I love I love our panel

1505
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,479
Speaker 1: like I love listening to you guys. I come in here,

1506
01:21:39,800 --> 01:21:41,519
Speaker 1: and I've said it on many of the interviews. This

1507
01:21:41,640 --> 01:21:44,200
Speaker 1: is a sharing platform. But as much as it is sharing,

1508
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:47,320
Speaker 1: I learned four times five times as much as I

1509
01:21:47,400 --> 01:21:50,080
Speaker 1: ever share in here. So this is coming into a

1510
01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:54,479
Speaker 1: classroom really a study of the world and interesting education.

1511
01:21:54,560 --> 01:21:57,960
Speaker 1: We have terrific guests like Shari that comes on for

1512
01:21:58,160 --> 01:22:00,880
Speaker 1: us to help us out. So for the listeners, I

1513
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:02,920
Speaker 1: hope it's so we try and share what we can,

1514
01:22:03,040 --> 01:22:05,200
Speaker 1: but also for us, I mean thank you. It's a

1515
01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:08,600
Speaker 1: learning platform. You gentlemen opening up those are issues that

1516
01:22:08,680 --> 01:22:11,639
Speaker 1: are near and dear to your heart and sharing them

1517
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:16,280
Speaker 1: vulnerably with our audience is incredible. Mmm. Um. For our listeners,

1518
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:18,800
Speaker 1: where can because you are exceptional, you touched us all

1519
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:22,519
Speaker 1: today street, where can they find you? Uh? Should anybody

1520
01:22:22,840 --> 01:22:25,559
Speaker 1: want to reach out to you? And they should? Where's

1521
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:27,760
Speaker 1: the best place to contact you? Thank you? Guys. I

1522
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:29,960
Speaker 1: just want to say the world needs more men like you.

1523
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:33,840
Speaker 1: It's been such an honor to be with you all. Um.

1524
01:22:34,400 --> 01:22:38,600
Speaker 1: I'm at Shari Healy dot com. Yeah c H E

1525
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:41,640
Speaker 1: R I E H E A L E Y and

1526
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:46,600
Speaker 1: easily easily found on Instagram for the Luminaries The Luminaries

1527
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:51,840
Speaker 1: Luminaries Instagram dot com. Yeah. Well, thank you so much

1528
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:54,120
Speaker 1: for being here with us. And to put a bookend

1529
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,439
Speaker 1: on a bow on this episode, we will be putting

1530
01:22:56,479 --> 01:22:58,920
Speaker 1: a picture of Rick and a speedo up on a

1531
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:04,360
Speaker 1: Man Think podcast on Instagram and that and that is

1532
01:23:04,439 --> 01:23:11,400
Speaker 1: our definition of success. That's it for this episode group

1533
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:14,439
Speaker 1: therapy around one. I'm sure we're gonna do more of those. Uh.

1534
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:15,960
Speaker 1: That was a lot of fun though. Thank you guys

1535
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:18,400
Speaker 1: for listening. As always, if you have any questions or comments,

1536
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,759
Speaker 1: reach out to us please and take care of one another.

1537
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:24,760
Speaker 1: This is for you, Danielle. Love one another and we'll

1538
01:23:24,760 --> 01:23:29,080
Speaker 1: see you guys right here next week. Bang. Hey guys,

1539
01:23:29,120 --> 01:23:31,240
Speaker 1: it's Brooks and one last thing before we let you go.

1540
01:23:31,520 --> 01:23:33,840
Speaker 1: If you like today's episode, we would love to get

1541
01:23:33,880 --> 01:23:36,000
Speaker 1: a five star review from you on iTunes and if

1542
01:23:36,040 --> 01:23:37,880
Speaker 1: you could possibly share it with a friend, that would

1543
01:23:37,880 --> 01:23:41,360
Speaker 1: be amazing as well. We always look forward to your questions, comments,

1544
01:23:41,479 --> 01:23:43,840
Speaker 1: or insights, so you can send us an email at

1545
01:23:43,920 --> 01:23:46,519
Speaker 1: men at I heart radio dot com and also follow

1546
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:49,840
Speaker 1: along with us on Instagram at how Men Think Podcast